1
00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,922
(LAUGHING)
2
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,604
That's a good one, Richard.
3
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,923
No, but seriously, what
brings you in today?
4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,411
No, I am serious.
5
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,209
I would like an STD check.
6
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,408
What, did you graze your penis
against a toilet seat?
7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,280
- No. I had sex.
- Sex with what?
8
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,806
- Female.
- A female what?
9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:28,487
A female human.
10
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,770
And I don't know this woman very well,
and we didn't use a condom.
11
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,456
Now listen, Richard,
I wouldn't worry so much.
12
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,721
People don't really get STDs anymore.
13
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,006
We'll get your test back soon,
14
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,243
and I would tell you not to have sex
before then, but let's face it,
15
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,004
lightning ain't gonna strike twice, is it?
16
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,206
- (LAUGHING)
- lt's possible.
17
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,282
- Huh?
- Lt's possible.
18
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:47,887
No.
19
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,611
Hey, here's something strange.
20
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,816
Would you mind hopping up
on that scale for a sec?
21
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,683
Okay. Why, am I gaining weight?
22
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,650
I have been working like crazy,
eating like crap.
23
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,246
I haven't been exercising
at all really, so...
24
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,481
Yeah. Look at that.
25
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,325
You are an inch shorter
than you were this time last year.
26
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,366
You're shrinking, my friend.
27
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,044
(STAMMERS) How's that possible?
28
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,646
Well, you just told me.
It's your unhealthy lifestyle, Richard.
29
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,722
It's a loss of mineral bone density.
30
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,001
So, what do I do?
31
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,923
I'm gonna put you on calcium supplements,
32
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,976
and I'm gonna have you come back
in about three weeks.
33
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,001
I'll see you then.
34
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,411
Or whatever's left of you.
35
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,845
(LAUGHING)
36
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,242
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
37
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,090
MONICA: So, Erlich, good news.
38
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,322
Keenan Feldspar signed his term sheet
39
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,244
and we are now officially negotiating
the finer points of his deal.
40
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:41,481
Fantastic!
41
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,086
Well, now, the real work begins.
42
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,607
To that end, we would like to clarify
our arrangement with you.
43
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,969
We feel that a generous finder's fee
will be more than satisfactory.
44
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,605
This meeting is over.
45
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:56,601
This is very generous,
46
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:01,601
but I was under the impression that, um,
I was going to be hired here.
47
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,604
And I've actually told quite a few people
that I was hired,
48
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,127
so if I wasn't,
then it would look like I was fired.
49
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,645
That is fine.
50
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,841
No.
51
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:16,562
Laurie, I will not allow you to make
the same mistake
52
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,325
that Uber, Palantir, Zenefits,
53
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,246
and in my earlier years, Chipotle
made by not hiring me.
54
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,444
All right. Don't hire me.
55
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:31,161
But can you hack this finder's fee
into 52 installments,
56
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,163
paid weekly over the
course of the next year?
57
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,322
You mean, a salary?
58
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,765
Those are your words, not mine.
59
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:42,165
The finder's fee and 10,000 to go away?
60
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:46,404
You know, looking around at Bream-Hall,
I see a lot of the same.
61
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,081
Same gender...
62
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,845
Both partners happen to be female, Erlich.
63
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,763
Great catch. What's your point?
64
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,640
There is a grotesque gender imbalance
in the VC field right now.
65
00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,281
I can help you navigate the toxicity
of this male culture,
66
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,931
which is encroaching on
our feminist island.
67
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,004
I mean, for instance, there's something
called mansplaining.
68
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,416
- Have you heard about this?
- We know what mansplaining is.
69
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,684
Mansplaining is when a man will
condescendingly explain something
70
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,081
to a woman that she already knows.
71
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,488
Mr. Bachman, we have work to do.
72
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:19,560
All right.
73
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,286
Laurie, half the finder's
fee for me to stay.
74
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,283
I don't think that you'll
find an associate,
75
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,241
um, with my track record at a better price.
76
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,884
It's my final offer. Take it or leave it.
77
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,206
I need this.
78
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,048
Fine. You may start Monday.
79
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,406
Okay. Ooh.
80
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,641
This Monday?
81
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,164
That's fine. Of course.
82
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,124
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
83
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,446
What's that?
84
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,490
SonicWall SonicPointA.C.E.,
85
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,363
paired with the T.Z. 600.
86
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,249
Top-of-the-line firewall protection,
87
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:04,405
built-in intrusion prevention,
SSL decryption and inspection,
88
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,404
application control, and content filtering.
89
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,960
Saying "new router"
would be so much quicker.
90
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,724
Dinesh, the one good thing that came
91
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,531
out of you slapping your body
against that cyberterrorist
92
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,364
in a vulgar parody of the act of love
93
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,808
is that we finally have a network
with real security value.
94
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,120
Why would we need it?
95
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,921
Mia is in a federal facility
with no access to the Internet.
96
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,001
Right.
97
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,926
And she has never shown a proclivity
for getting around infrastructure.
98
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,088
Did you see this?
We've only been live for two weeks
99
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,606
and we just cracked the top 500
in the Hooli app store.
100
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,045
Oh, look at that.
101
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,451
Ranked 499.
102
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,681
Of utilities.
103
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,610
Yeah. Subgroup mobile, subgroup storage.
True.
104
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,645
But, overall, we're firmly in
the top 30,000 HooliPhone apps.
105
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:54,489
I mean, we may not be a global epidemic yet,
but we've leapt from bat saliva to humans,
106
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,040
and we've just killed our
first few villagers.
107
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,121
JIAN-YANG: This warm.
108
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:01,727
This warm.
109
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,606
This warm.
110
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,125
- This warm.
- I get it, Jian-Yang!
111
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:06,846
The refrigerator's broken.
112
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,161
The ice cream is melting.
113
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,322
Let me guess, is it because it's warm?
114
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:12,526
- Yes.
- Fine.
115
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,968
I'll call the repairman,
and he'll come here and fix it posthaste.
116
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,521
No.
117
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,286
I want a new fridge.
118
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,409
A smarter fridge like this.
119
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:26,243
$14,000 for a smart fridge?
120
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,527
Unlike you, I now work for a living.
121
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,927
I'm not gonna drop that kind of dough
on a fridge.
122
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,401
I ordered already. I buy it for myself.
123
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:34,896
Then why are you talking to me about it?
124
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,843
To make you feel bad.
125
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,571
Because you're fat and poor.
126
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,602
- (PHONE RINGING)
- (SIGHS)
127
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,361
Go for Erlich.
128
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,283
ED: E. Bachman. E. Chen.
129
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,361
Got your message.
130
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:53,851
Bream-Hall, huh?
131
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,126
Yes. Starting today.
132
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,168
I hope that this doesn't create
133
00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,881
any tension between us,
us now being competitors and all.
134
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,007
ED: Hey. None-zo.
135
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:06,165
Hey, while I have you, some of the boys are
part of the ownership group of the Warriors.
136
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:10,131
We have an extra spot on the floor
at Oracle Arena. You a hoops guy?
137
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,921
Oops. Uh, sorry, you broke up.
Could you, uh... Could you say that again?
138
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,370
We have an extra spot on the floor tonight
at Oracle Arena.
139
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,766
You a hoops guy?
140
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,561
What red-blooded American male
in the VC boys' club isn't?
141
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,003
Okay, cool. I'll text you the deets.
142
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,206
Later, man.
143
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,048
VVeH, boys.
I've been in the VC game forjust one day,
144
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,164
and already I have floor seats
to watch the Warriors.
145
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,730
But you hate basketball.
146
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,690
I'll concede that spending all my time
inside of a house
147
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,207
with you scrawny code jockeys,
the Incredible Shrinking Hendricks,
148
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,931
- and whatever the fuck Jared is here...
- (JARED CHUCKLES)
149
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,288
may have blunted my conventional
masculinity a hair.
150
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,169
- But it's always been there.
- Uh-huh.
151
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,129
Well, try and get a
selfie with Steph Curry.
152
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,761
I will, assuming she's there.
153
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,601
Hey, Jared, um, look at this e-mail here.
154
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,365
Uh, "Dear Richard, I recently became aware
of your Space Saver app.
155
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,245
"L think your app may infringe upon
my own patented technology.
156
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,645
"If your schedule permits, I would love to
discuss this with you as soon as possible.
157
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,007
"Sincerely, Stewart Burke."
158
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,496
What, I thought we handled the
patent stuff. We own it, right?
159
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,047
Yeah. I'll send him a harshly worded
cease and desist letter.
160
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,848
Actually, uh, his work address
is some house in Mountain View.
161
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,611
He's probably just working
out of his garage, just like us.
162
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,126
Why don't I go over there,
walk him through the app,
163
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,486
you know, coder to coder.
164
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,721
I'm sure it'll be fine.
165
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,450
You've got a big heart.
166
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,081
Or maybe just seems big,
'cause the rest of him is shrinking.
167
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,565
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
168
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,290
Hi. Richard Hendricks.
169
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,448
- We exchanged e-mails?
- No.
170
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,921
- Are you Stewart Burke?
- No.
171
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,489
- L'm sorry. Does Stewart Burke live here?
- Yeah. (SIGHS)
172
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,721
Okay.
173
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,245
Is he in? Can I speak with him?
174
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,322
Grandpa! Some guy's here.
175
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,528
My grandson is the software expert.
176
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,444
I couldn't tell a computer from a toaster.
177
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,848
Oh. So, you're not a coder?
178
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,888
Oh, no. Not at all.
179
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,564
I am an attorney.
180
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,523
I started out in the medical field,
then the auto industry,
181
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,170
and then the music business.
182
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,129
Did you represent all these people?
183
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,804
No, I sued them.
184
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,688
Look, that's me with Stevie Wonder.
185
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,125
He never saw it coming.
186
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,607
Do you get it?
187
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,886
Yes, because he's blind.
188
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,405
- (CLICKS TONGUE)
- Right.
189
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,201
I'm sorry, I don't know
what this has to do...
190
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,361
You see this?
191
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,250
This is a song I bought
at a copyright auction.
192
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:41,530
It's an old mariachi number that cost me
practically nothing,
193
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:46,686
and so far has bought me two houses
and put my village idiot grandson
194
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,161
- through six years of Emerson.
- Oh.
195
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:52,926
All that from Cancion de Amores?
196
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,923
- Was it a popular song?
- No.
197
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:59,528
I used the copyright on this song
to sue writers of all kinds of songs.
198
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:05,124
Anyway, the writers usually settle, pay
me off, or give me a chunk of their song.
199
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,207
Thanks to Cancion de Amores here,
200
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:12,490
I now own 10% of Katrina and the Waves'
Walking on Sunshine.
201
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:13,686
- Mmm.
- Lt's a classic.
202
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,210
And when it runs next month
on Mazda's new Super Bowl spot,
203
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,486
I print money.
204
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,522
But sadly, all the good music copyrights
are gone.
205
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,250
That is so sad.
206
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,288
And that's why I moved into tech.
207
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,889
And now I sue people like you.
208
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,440
What?
209
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,770
So, he's a patent troll?
210
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,921
Yep.
211
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:42,403
Guys like him buy a ton of super broad IP
from failed startups at auction,
212
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:47,611
and then threaten litigation against
accused infringers, i.e. you.
213
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,884
So, uh, how much is Burke asking for?
214
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,610
$20,000.
215
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,409
Ah. You're getting off easy.
216
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:59,088
Well, no. Look, his patent covers
"storage of media files on a network."
217
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,328
I mean, that cannot be enforceable.
218
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,970
It's probably not. (SIGHS)
219
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,686
But to find out, you're gonna have
to fight him in court.
220
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:10,285
For a good litigator, we're talking at least
(BLOWS RASPBERRY) couple hundred grand.
221
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,169
Just pay him the 20 grand, Richard.
222
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,891
I could get creative and take some money
out of the Melcher deal.
223
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:15,961
There you go.
224
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,176
RICHARD: No. We need that money.
225
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,725
This is a shakedown. He's a crook.
226
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,496
And right when our app
is getting off the ground.
227
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,760
Well, that's how he found you.
228
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,648
Guys just landed on the
app store top 500 list,
229
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:25,767
- right?
- Yeah.
230
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:30,129
So, Burke starts at the bottom of
those lists, works his way up.
231
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,806
The more settlements he gets,
the stronger his case.
232
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,167
Higher you are on the list,
the more money he asks for.
233
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,647
It's like... It's like limp biscuit.
234
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,085
He sued those guys, too?
235
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,522
Not the band, the thing the band
is named after.
236
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,523
Limp biscuit's an old frat ritual
237
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,809
where all the brothers race to
stroke one out onto a biscuit,
238
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,565
and then the last guy to nut has to eat it.
(CHUCKLES)
239
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,404
Right. Sometimes it's a Wheat Thin.
240
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,562
Look, Richie. I get it.
241
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:02,369
It's embarrassing to pull your pud
in front of the whole pledge class.
242
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,851
Just pay the 9W-
243
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:12,604
Or maybe we convince the entire pledge class to
not play the game at all in the first place.
244
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,247
(CHUCKLES) lr only...
245
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,842
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- (FRIDGE CHIMES)
246
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,485
This must be the new fridge.
247
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,561
You like this?
248
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,849
Look, it has a screen so you can see
all the food that's inside.
249
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,161
Mmm-hmm. Kind of like that one?
250
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,040
This one has an app, so you can actually
watch the food on your phone.
251
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,090
All it needs to do is keep
my fuckin' beer cold.
252
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:37,207
(FRIDGE CHIMES)
253
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,856
MALE VOICE: Hmm. You're
running low on beer.
254
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:39,927
Fuck you.
255
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,367
(FRIDGE CHIMES)
256
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,416
MALE VOICE: Whoops!
Did you forget to scan that bar code?
257
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,044
Yes, I did.
258
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,485
On purpose.
259
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,216
- (FRIDGE CHIMES)
- MALE VOICE: Ah, there we go.
260
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,536
GILFOYLE: It's bad enough it has to talk.
261
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,564
Does it need fake vocal tics like "ah"?
262
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,529
Well, itjust makes it sound more human.
263
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:56,681
GILFOYLE: Humans are shit.
264
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,047
This thing is addressing problems
that don't exist.
265
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,565
It's solutionism at its worst.
266
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,611
We are dumbing down machines
that are inherently superior.
267
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,728
Whatever. You gave your server
a human name.
268
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,609
You named it Anton.
269
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,849
Yeah, but Anton doesn't call me anything.
270
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:15,084
He grimly does his work, then he sits
motionless till it's time to work again.
271
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,889
We could all take a page from his book.
272
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,296
- (FRIDGE CHIMES)
- MALE VOICE: Uh-Oh!
273
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,970
That yogurt is expired!
274
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,520
See? This could have killed me.
275
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,243
Now I can give it to Erlich.
276
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,651
(FRIDGE CLOSES)
277
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,087
(CHIMES)
278
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,656
MALE VOICE: Hmm.
I'm not quite sure what you're doing.
279
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,016
Is there something I can help you with?
280
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,042
Yeah, how do I shut you the fuck up?
281
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,976
MALE VOICE: Aw.
Is somebody having a rough day?
282
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,731
Did that fucker password protect
the settings?
283
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,211
His fridge, his rules.
284
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:47,807
Fuck.
285
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:51,560
- (BASKETBALL BOUNCING)
- (SN EAKERS SQU EAKING)
286
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,289
My man, I was told I had a spot
on the floor tonight,
287
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,046
but it seems that I've committed
the cardinal sin of being early.
288
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,009
What time does the game actually start?
289
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:02,761
MAN: It's about to.
290
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:11,282
Wait, when he said a spot on the floor,
did he mean on the floor?
291
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,724
I wasn't part of the conversation.
292
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,884
ED: Come on, baby. Come on, bring it.
293
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,767
- (MEN CHEER)
- I cannot do that.
294
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,490
All right. You guys go shirts.
295
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:21,607
We'll go skins.
296
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,684
And I can definitely not do that.
297
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,606
Will not.
298
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,336
ED: Don't let him drive on you.
299
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,408
- All day!
- (CELL PHONE RINGS)
300
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,804
Yo, Erlich. Where you at, dog?
301
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,296
ERLICH: Yo, what up, what up, what up?
302
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,847
Which one of you pussies, uh,
put sugar in my gas tank
303
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,161
to prevent me from housing you
on the hardwood?
304
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,240
What?
305
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:48,691
Yeah. My car won't start.
306
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,330
It's a real fucked situation.
307
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,722
So, I guess I'll have to miss this
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to...
308
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,404
Dude, we play every Tuesday.
309
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,090
I'll see you next week, Broseph.
310
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,571
(BUZZER ECHOES ON PHONE)
311
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,647
(THUD5)
312
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,606
Hey. Let me in. Let me get in.
Let me get in.
313
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,843
Hey, I squished those front-end bugs.
314
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,288
- Um, did you finish your networking issue?
- Nope.
315
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,407
(FRIDGE CHIMES)
316
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,160
MALE VOICE: Hmm.
I'm sorry, wrong password.
317
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,682
You're sitting here trying to hack
Jian-Yang's password
318
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,330
instead of doing your actual work?
319
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,081
Well, good luck, it's a
10-digit alphanumeric.
320
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,045
Ten digit? Fuck.
321
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,963
And you have one underpowered laptop,
322
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,929
so you know, you should have the answer...
323
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,571
In 9,000 years.
324
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,645
Time to pull out the big gun.
325
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,802
Well, maybe you should
pull out the bug gun.
326
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,324
'Cause of the network bug.
327
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,681
As in the bug you're supposed to be fixing.
328
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,416
If you were programmed to have
a good sense of humor, you'd laugh at that.
329
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,016
- (FRIDGE CHIMES)
- MALE VOICE: Oh, I'm sorry.
330
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,247
I didn't see any Good Humor ice cream bars.
331
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,890
Shall I add them to your shopping list?
332
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,008
- You know what? Yeah.
- (FRIDGE CHIMES)
333
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,256
MALE VOICE: Good Humor ice cream bars
added to your shopping list.
334
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,406
JARED: Come on.
335
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,723
- God, you believe this? I'm still on hold.
- With?
336
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,086
Microsoft Azure.
337
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,562
Yeah, I'm trying to negotiate
a lower cloud storage rate,
338
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,484
'cause we're gonna need it if,
or more realistically,
339
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,131
when, Richard finally decides to pay
that patent troll.
340
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,328
Ugh. I mean, I'm still on hold.
341
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,287
It's like they don't even care
about small businesses.
342
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,727
Jared, they don't care about
small businesses.
343
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,768
That's why small businesses have to lie.
344
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,128
Like, um, Google named theirfirst building
"Building 40"
345
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,328
so that people would think
they were already huge.
346
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,890
When I worked at my first startup,
347
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,928
I would transfer people to "my supervisor"
348
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,890
and then I'd just get back
on the phone myself.
349
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,162
Oh. Uh, yeah, hello.
350
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,247
No, no. I'm not gonna go on hold again.
351
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,927
Um, in fact, could I transfer you
to my supervisor?
352
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,885
(CHUCKLES) Uh...
353
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,016
(WHISPERS) Oh, no, no, no.
I have to take a shit.
354
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,566
Just, um, do your best Ed Chen impression.
355
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,365
One moment please.
356
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,131
(IMITATING) What's up?
You've got Ed, uh, Chambers.
357
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,006
Hello, everybody. Thanks
again for making it.
358
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,287
And thanks to Gus of
Gigglybots for hosting.
359
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,360
No problem.
360
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,768
My name is, uh, Richard Hendricks, uh,
of Pied Piper.
361
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,524
You're the guys working for Gavin Belson.
362
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,411
Was working with Gavin Belson, yeah.
363
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,290
- So, he's not coming?
- No. No, not at all.
364
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:27,922
But I'll have you all know that without
any involvement from Gavin Belson,
365
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:32,722
Pied Piper, just like yourselves, has
reached the Hooli app store's top 500 list.
366
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:37,769
And you guys are aware that you are all
directly above us on the list,
367
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:43,051
which is why you should know that
a patent troll named Stewart Burke
368
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,170
has recently demanded that I pay
a $20,000 licensing fee.
369
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:52,326
And ifl pay, he's gonna come
and ask you guys for more money.
370
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,731
He starts With the little guy.
371
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,241
Not that I'm little. I'm, uh...
372
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,840
- I mean, I'm not.
- (CHAIR CLATTERING)
373
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,284
I'm actually, uh...
374
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,285
Above average height.
375
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,296
Isn't this something that could have been
done over e-mail?
376
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,446
RICHARD: I mean, lguess.
377
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,841
(SIGHS) But look, if we
don't stop this guy,
378
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,730
he's gonna just keep asking
for more and more money
379
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,451
until someone is stuck
with an unpayable bill.
380
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:20,047
It's kind of like that old fraternity game,
the limp biscuit.
381
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,562
Sorry, I wasn't in a fraternity.
382
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:25,640
Uh, what is that?
383
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,569
I don't think we need to get into...
384
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,486
It's where guys stand in a circle
and masturbate onto a cracker.
385
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,885
And then the last guy eats it.
386
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:36,761
What?
387
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,007
Again...
388
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,736
I don't really know
why he would mention that.
389
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,364
It's super gross.
390
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,488
Is this why Gavin Belson
stopped working with you?
391
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,561
RICHARD: N0.
392
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,087
The important thing is here,
393
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,960
my lawyer has actually drafted
a partnership agreement.
394
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,280
Why don't you all just...
395
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:59,810
Essentially, we all band together
and each contribute $20,000.
396
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:04,124
We should have more than enough money to
mount a challenge against this guy's patent.
397
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,248
And if we win, we dissolve the patent
398
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,687
so that he can't do this
to anyone else ever again.
399
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:13,721
Because in the end, shouldn't it be
Mr. Stewart Burke, the patent troll,
400
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,371
who's forced to eat the biscuit?
401
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,960
I'm pretty sure that's sexual assault.
402
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,923
Yeah, no one deserves that.
403
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,889
I know. That's not what I'm saying.
404
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,802
Look, I'm pretty sure it's even made up.
405
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,689
Like a donkey punch. You know?
406
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,411
Again, what is a donkey punch?
407
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,602
- It's when guys...
- Just don't.
408
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,281
Don't.
409
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,526
G-man.
410
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,280
You busy at the moment?
411
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,646
Very.
412
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:48,089
I'm about to set Anton loose on that
talking chrome beer coozy.
413
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:54,805
So, care to take a breather and help a pal
throw a basketball hoop on the old garage?
414
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:59,522
Why would you need help from a scrawny
code jockey such as myself?
415
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,090
Fine.
416
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,965
I'm perfectly capable of
figuring it out myself.
417
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,241
All I need is... Ah!
418
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,401
May I borrow this hammer to pound in these
flamboyant little nails?
419
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,010
Those are screws.
420
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,206
Yeah, no, I...
421
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,081
Jared Dunn.
422
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,731
Yep, just a moment, please.
I'll transfer you.
423
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,611
(IN LOW VOICE) Go for Chambers.
424
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,684
(LAUGHING)
425
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,649
Ned! I knew it was you.
426
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,530
Hey, did that pussy Jared
keep you on hold long?
427
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,691
I eat that motherfucker's lunch every day.
428
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,081
(LAUGHS) No, man. I literally eat his food.
429
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,529
What do you want? Uh-uh.
430
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:42,647
Ain't gonna happen.
431
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,165
That's as high as we go, homo.
432
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:45,446
Till next time, rook.
433
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:46,886
(PHONE BEEPS)
434
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,529
(IN NORMAL VOICE) I mean, did you see that?
435
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,126
He's amazing.
436
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,123
- Who?
- Ed Chambers.
437
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,568
He got Pied Piper a great cloud
storage rate from Azure.
438
00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:00,201
And he's got the hookup on a couple of
pallets of Pamplemousse LaCroix
439
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,363
at, his words, "an amaze-balls price."
440
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,323
Wow. Good job, Jared.
441
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,324
Well, I mean, don't congratulate me.
Congratulate Ed Chambers.
442
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,370
- Ed Chambers is you.
- Well, lwish. But...
443
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,686
Gentlemen.
444
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,330
You all said that it couldn't be done,
445
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:20,482
but it appears as if Sir Richard the
Not-Short hath now slain the slimy troll.
446
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,044
Stu Burke? R. Hendricks.
447
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,565
I got word that you called.
448
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,247
I assume you spoke with my attorney,
Monsieur Ron Laflamme?
449
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,766
STEWART: Yes, I did speak to Ron Laflamme.
450
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,286
What, pray tell, did he tell you
when he called you?
451
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,931
STEWART: Well, I called him actually,
to tell him
452
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,721
that the eight companies you apparently
tried to organize against me
453
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,764
have reached out to me
preemptively to settle.
454
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:48,247
And because I appreciated that, I offered
them a very, very reasonable rate.
455
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,085
So, Richard Hendricks, fuck...
456
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,003
Okay. Uh, yeah.
457
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,281
Uh-huh.
458
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,451
I understand.
459
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,920
So, you're firm on that?
460
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,525
Well, bye, then.
461
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,327
- So, your coalition fucked us?
- Yes.
462
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,562
So, now we have to pay the $20,000.
463
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,200
Uh, not exactly.
464
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:16,485
Because he... Stu is saying
that since all eight companies
465
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,609
have now licensed the patent,
he has a stronger case against us.
466
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,207
So, um, he'd actually like more money.
467
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,090
- How much?
- $300,000.
468
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,602
- So, we just ate the Wheat Thin, didn't we?
- (FRIDGE CHIMES)
469
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,286
MALE VOICE: Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't see any Wheat Thins.
470
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,010
Shall I add them to your shopping list?
471
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,328
- Eh, sure.
- (FRIDGE CHIMES)
472
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,840
DINESH: Well, let's hope that Melcher
doesn't hear about all this.
473
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,330
You guys don't need all these lights on,
do you?
474
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,481
Yes, we do.
475
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Okay. Well, that should be fine.
We should be fine.
476
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,641
Um, fine from what?
477
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:54,976
That fridge is putting up a fight,
478
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,576
so I'm gonna have to try something
with Anton.
479
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,729
Might put a little strain on the wiring,
that's all.
480
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,731
I'll be in the garage.
481
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:02,887
Hey, Richard.
482
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,645
But you're not seriously gonna defend
yourself in court, right?
483
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,362
Well, Larry Flynt did it.
484
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,805
And Sir Walter Raleigh.
485
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,768
Although he lost and was publicly beheaded.
486
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,322
But you could argue that he eventually won
in the court of history.
487
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,606
' Qet it!
488
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,129
I should have settled. Okay? And I didn't.
489
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,606
And you're right, I will probably lose.
490
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,887
But I'm not going down without a fight.
491
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,521
And I've got all of Monahan's discovery
from the Hooli case right here,
492
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:30,931
so that's something.
493
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:32,406
(RICHARD SIGHS)
494
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,281
Oh, my God.
495
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,487
(RICHARD CHUCKLES)
496
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,126
This is from high school.
497
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:46,286
These are all my notes from the
original build of Pied Piper 1.0,
498
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:50,160
back when it was just some stupid
search app for music copyright...
499
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,246
It's...
500
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,689
Hold on, hold on.
501
00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:59,805
(CIRCUIT BREAKERS CLICK)
502
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,450
What the fuck?
503
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,568
Sorry. Everybody okaY?
504
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,325
I don't know, you fucking maniac! Are we?
505
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,640
Probably.
506
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,801
JARED; Richard?
507
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:10,806
What are you up to?
508
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,327
- (KEYBOARD CLACKING)
- About 6'2", Jared.
509
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,485
Looks like I can slay
that troll, after all.
510
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,640
- (MARIACHl MUSIC PLAYING)
- STEWART: What am I looking at?
511
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:29,210
Well, you said that you used
Cancion de Amores to sue musicians.
512
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,362
You claimed that they
stole that song, right?
513
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,126
Bought two houses,
put Jeremy through four years of college.
514
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,407
Six. And he's still 20 credits short.
515
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,966
Okay. Well, he may want
to consider financial aid.
516
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:46,169
Um, because that little song there was
itself stolen from an old country song
517
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:50,848
called I'm Clyin', parentheses,
With My Eyes from 1967.
518
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,481
A full eight years before
Cancion de Amores.
519
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,609
And I'm pretty sure Katrina and the Waves
would want to know
520
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,810
that they gave you a piece of
Walking on Sunshine for nothing.
521
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,168
Mazda may want to pull that whole
Super Bowl spot.
522
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,447
- Bullshit.
- No, no. Not bullshit.
523
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:08,646
Computer science.
524
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,769
Yeah, and we can take it to court
if you like, see who they believe.
525
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:17,165
Perhaps the most advanced and sophisticated
pattern matching algorithm ever devised,
526
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,605
by a fucking genius.
527
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:23,288
Or some old asshole
who once sued Stevie Wonder.
528
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,286
All right.
529
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,050
What do you want, you little prick?
530
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,046
(CHUCKLES) Correction, sir.
I am a big prick.
531
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,249
Hello, my cold friend.
532
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,481
(CHIMES)
533
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,081
Hello?
534
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,925
MALE VOICE: Huh. Suck it, Jian-Yang. Mmm.
535
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,206
Ah. Huh. Huh.
536
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,487
You attack and destroy my refrigerator?
537
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,847
- And you misspell my name.
- GILFOYLE: ldid.
538
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,251
Had to overclock Anton,
539
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,721
but I was able to brute-force
the backdoor password
540
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,245
to that chrome piece of shit
541
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,924
in under 12 hours.
542
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,889
And I added a little visual flair.
543
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:02,009
MALE VOICE: Huh. Suck it, Jian-Yang.
544
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,764
Mmm. Ah. Huh.
545
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:06,851
(SIGHS)
546
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,130
- So?
- So, he bought it,
547
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,406
hook, line, and sinker.
548
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,482
Yeah, he thinks the
search results are real.
549
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,369
You trolled the troll.
550
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,536
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, yeah.
For a second there, he wasn't buying it,
551
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,370
and then ljust started babbling on
about tech specs,
552
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,726
and saw his eyes glaze over.
553
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:28,807
Well, as a result, we now have a perpetual,
royalty-free license for the patent.
554
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,046
Yés!
555
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:33,010
See? I stuck to my guns and as a result,
556
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,890
we now have 20 grand
we would have otherwise lost
557
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,282
if l'd have listened to you
delicate little snowflakes and settled.
558
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,291
Yeah? 20 grand.
559
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,363
Yeah? So, let me cum into a bucket
and have you all drink it.
560
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,601
Uh, Richard? Can I have a moment?
561
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,404
(SIGHS) Sorry about that. I regretted it
the second it came out of my mouth.
562
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,720
Richard.
563
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:59,484
Well, yes. But...
564
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:01,841
Here. (SIGHS)
565
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,967
What's this?
566
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,802
Um, that is a bill from Ron Laflamme
567
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:10,601
for the paperwork he had to do to put
your coalition of companies together.
568
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,081
- $22,000.
- Yeah.
569
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,322
It's at the high-end of standard.
570
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,404
So, it would have cost us slightly less
if we'd havejust...
571
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,925
Paid the troll?
572
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,402
Well, that's true,
but can you put a price on dignity?
573
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,446
Apparently, I just did.
574
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,726
Do me a favor and, uh, don't tell the guys.
575
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,280
Yeah. You have my utmost discretion.
576
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,606
- Thank you.
- Um, speaking of,
577
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,728
Richard, I need to tell you something.
578
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,404
I had to let Ed Chambers go.
579
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:37,766
Who?
580
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,410
My fictional supervisor.
581
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,565
He bragged to a sales rep at LaCroix
about doing it to Sonia Sotomayor.
582
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,722
So, Ed is no longer with us.
583
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,891
I'm sure we can manage.
584
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,809
He also was never actually with us.
585
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:50,976
- Right.
- 'Cause he was never real.
586
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,365
Out of sight, out of mind.
587
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,041
And out of reality.
588
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,121
Yeah, well...
589
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,321
Oh, Ed Chambers...
590
00:26:58,400 --> 00:26:59,890
Don't hit... No, no, no, no! Oh!
591
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,291
({THUDS)
%GROANS)
592
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:02,407
Fuck!
593
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,050
- (WHISTLE BLOWING)
- (MEN SHOUTING)
594
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:08,967
Yeah, a lot of these guys aren't man enough
to work for an all-female-led VC firm,
595
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,644
but not me.
596
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,643
I believe that the future is female.
597
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,564
And anyone who says otherwise
can suck my fat dick.
598
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,971
YO, yo:
599
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,485
- Whoo!
- (MEN CHEERING)
600
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:20,728
Bachman, scoreboard.
601
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,086
Ah, scoreboard.
602
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,328
Fuck. Shit. Who made
that one through the...
603
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,323
It was a three-pointer, dumbass!
604
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,402
(CHUCKLES) Three-pointer.
What, are we in Europe?
605
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,840
Is he fucking with me?
606
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,129
(MARIACHI SONG PLAYING)