1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:06,136 www.TUSUBTITULO.com -DIFUNDE LA CULTURA- 2 00:00:07,856 --> 00:00:10,523 How the fuck does something like this happen? 3 00:00:10,625 --> 00:00:13,192 How does an elephant just die? 4 00:00:13,294 --> 00:00:15,828 He was very old and depressed. 5 00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:18,330 He'd recently been rescued from the circus, 6 00:00:18,432 --> 00:00:21,200 but as it turns out, he actually really loved performing. 7 00:00:21,302 --> 00:00:23,435 Who gives a fuck about the elephant? 8 00:00:23,538 --> 00:00:24,904 What about me? 9 00:00:25,006 --> 00:00:26,305 This does not look good. 10 00:00:26,407 --> 00:00:29,108 I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out how to remove him. 11 00:00:29,210 --> 00:00:30,910 He weighs 9,000 pounds. 12 00:00:31,012 --> 00:00:32,111 Cut it up. 13 00:00:32,213 --> 00:00:33,713 Take it out in pieces. 14 00:00:33,815 --> 00:00:34,914 I... I don't mean to interrupt, 15 00:00:35,016 --> 00:00:37,449 but... but I could call in a personal favor 16 00:00:37,552 --> 00:00:39,385 and get a helo crew out of Travis AFB 17 00:00:39,487 --> 00:00:41,253 with a Sikorsky Skycrane to airlift it out 18 00:00:41,355 --> 00:00:42,822 and drop it in the ocean right after dark. 19 00:00:42,924 --> 00:00:45,024 No muss, no fuss. 20 00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:46,058 There. 21 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:47,259 Was that so hard, Patrice? 22 00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:49,028 Because Hoover sure didn't think so. 23 00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,096 I mean, I just found my footing again, 24 00:00:51,198 --> 00:00:52,832 and you put me in danger of losing it all 25 00:00:52,934 --> 00:00:54,734 over some fucking elephant? 26 00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:57,670 Gavin, you always said that 27 00:00:57,772 --> 00:01:00,573 here at Hooli, "In order to achieve greatness, 28 00:01:00,675 --> 00:01:02,942 we must first achieve goodness." 29 00:01:03,044 --> 00:01:04,143 Right. 30 00:01:04,245 --> 00:01:05,344 So? 31 00:01:05,446 --> 00:01:07,513 So... 32 00:01:07,615 --> 00:01:10,315 I was a bridesmaid at Sean Parker's wedding 33 00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:13,152 when he handed out live bunnies as plush toys. 34 00:01:13,254 --> 00:01:15,187 That wasn't goodness. 35 00:01:15,289 --> 00:01:16,756 It was badness. 36 00:01:16,858 --> 00:01:18,558 And so is this. 37 00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:20,492 You're using endangered animals 38 00:01:20,595 --> 00:01:22,127 just to make points at board meetings. 39 00:01:22,229 --> 00:01:25,230 I'm drawing thoughtful, zoological comparisons. 40 00:01:25,332 --> 00:01:28,935 But couldn't you just show them a picture of these animals? 41 00:01:29,037 --> 00:01:31,938 A simple Hooli search would yield thousands of choices. 42 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,973 Patrice, I thank you for your honesty, 43 00:01:34,075 --> 00:01:35,908 and I will repay you with my own. 44 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:38,611 I honestly never want to see you in my offices again. 45 00:01:38,713 --> 00:01:40,112 You're fired. 46 00:01:40,214 --> 00:01:41,647 Hoover? 47 00:01:41,749 --> 00:01:44,116 - Scramble that Skycrane. - Yes, sir. 48 00:01:45,141 --> 00:01:55,080 www.TUSUBTITULO.com -DIFUNDE LA CULTURA- 49 00:01:56,497 --> 00:01:58,030 Please... come in. 50 00:01:58,132 --> 00:01:58,998 Come in. Have a seat. 51 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,166 I won't take a lot of your time. 52 00:02:01,268 --> 00:02:02,501 I promise. 53 00:02:02,604 --> 00:02:03,535 Okay. 54 00:02:03,638 --> 00:02:04,770 Would you like some tea? 55 00:02:04,872 --> 00:02:07,306 I can put a kettle on the hot plate. 56 00:02:07,408 --> 00:02:08,841 Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you. 57 00:02:08,943 --> 00:02:09,875 There's no trouble. 58 00:02:09,978 --> 00:02:11,243 You know what? I have a box of... 59 00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:14,346 of Russell Stover's if the spiders didn't get into 'em. 60 00:02:14,448 --> 00:02:16,315 Jared, is this about the fake users? 61 00:02:18,152 --> 00:02:19,118 You know? 62 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:22,422 Two days ago, I wanted to look at user behavior to figure out 63 00:02:22,423 --> 00:02:23,723 what spurred the sudden uptick, 64 00:02:23,825 --> 00:02:25,257 and... well, I noticed something. 65 00:02:25,359 --> 00:02:27,126 Almost all of our new users 66 00:02:27,228 --> 00:02:29,495 were just uploading a single photo 67 00:02:29,597 --> 00:02:31,964 into a shared folder, and then the next day, 68 00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:34,433 they would take the photo out and then put it back in 69 00:02:34,535 --> 00:02:36,401 the day after that and that's it. 70 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:39,338 You know, just enough to qualify as a daily active user. 71 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,940 Classic click-farm behavior. 72 00:02:41,042 --> 00:02:42,842 And then I remembered our conversation in the bathtub, 73 00:02:42,944 --> 00:02:45,144 and it just... it had to be you. 74 00:02:45,246 --> 00:02:47,179 Richard, I am so sorry. 75 00:02:47,281 --> 00:02:48,413 It's okay. 76 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:51,150 - Would it make you feel better to... to strike me? - No. 77 00:02:51,252 --> 00:02:52,451 You... you had good intentions, Jared. 78 00:02:52,553 --> 00:02:54,020 Honestly, don't give it another thought. 79 00:02:54,122 --> 00:02:55,420 Just, you know... 80 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:58,658 you and I right now are the only ones that know about it. 81 00:02:58,760 --> 00:02:59,792 Okay? 82 00:02:59,894 --> 00:03:02,161 And in a few weeks, when we run out of money, 83 00:03:02,263 --> 00:03:03,696 this will all be over anyway. 84 00:03:04,632 --> 00:03:07,066 - Richard? - Yes? 85 00:03:08,069 --> 00:03:09,568 We have a secret. 86 00:03:10,705 --> 00:03:12,071 Yeah. 87 00:03:13,741 --> 00:03:16,376 I mean, I swear to God, your dicks would have blown 88 00:03:16,377 --> 00:03:19,279 out of the back of your assholes if you had been there, hand to God. 89 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,412 Hey, guys. What's going on? 90 00:03:20,514 --> 00:03:22,915 Richard, sit down. I did it. 91 00:03:23,017 --> 00:03:24,650 I saved the company. 92 00:03:24,752 --> 00:03:26,618 What do you... What? How? 93 00:03:26,721 --> 00:03:27,887 Jared, have you been crying? 94 00:03:27,989 --> 00:03:29,855 Yes, but for ordinary reasons. 95 00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:31,623 - Please, go on. - Okay. 96 00:03:31,726 --> 00:03:33,425 I was at The Rosewood for lunch. 97 00:03:33,527 --> 00:03:34,526 I mean, it was the lunch hour. 98 00:03:34,628 --> 00:03:35,961 I was there, I wasn't eating, the usual. 99 00:03:36,064 --> 00:03:38,430 So, I walk over to Andreessen and I say something funny, 100 00:03:38,532 --> 00:03:41,200 but he stone-faces me. 101 00:03:41,302 --> 00:03:42,401 What did you say? 102 00:03:42,503 --> 00:03:44,369 It doesn't matter. The point is, it was hilarious, 103 00:03:44,471 --> 00:03:47,539 but he gave me nothing and neither did his friends. 104 00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,508 Then I realized why. 105 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:50,910 You're not funny? 106 00:03:51,012 --> 00:03:52,712 No, Gilfoyle, but that is. 107 00:03:52,814 --> 00:03:55,181 No, it's that everybody thinks 108 00:03:55,282 --> 00:03:56,849 Pied Piper is in this death spiral, 109 00:03:56,951 --> 00:03:59,151 so it would be inappropriate to laugh at my hysterical joke. 110 00:03:59,253 --> 00:04:01,553 And it hits me. 111 00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:03,589 I know something that they don't. 112 00:04:03,691 --> 00:04:06,025 I know about the uptick. 113 00:04:06,127 --> 00:04:07,326 The uptick? 114 00:04:07,428 --> 00:04:09,028 Yes, the uptick! 115 00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:11,997 The recent sudden surge in users. 116 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,498 Yeah. That. 117 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,534 Yes, that. So, while our fortune 118 00:04:15,636 --> 00:04:18,003 is rising, everybody else thinks that it's plummeting, 119 00:04:18,106 --> 00:04:21,073 and I can use these opposing forces 120 00:04:21,175 --> 00:04:23,542 to a multiplying effect like a slingshot, 121 00:04:23,644 --> 00:04:25,177 and then I make a decision. 122 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:26,478 I'm gonna make a move. 123 00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:29,548 So, I say something cryptic about the uptick, 124 00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:30,916 and I walk away. 125 00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:32,584 - What did you say? - I don't know. I can't remember. 126 00:04:32,686 --> 00:04:35,721 But I walk over and I see McNamee's having the short rib, 127 00:04:35,823 --> 00:04:37,556 which I hear is delicious but not too heavy, 128 00:04:37,658 --> 00:04:38,824 and then I say to him, 129 00:04:38,926 --> 00:04:40,726 "You're gonna have to tuck in your tie-dye 130 00:04:40,828 --> 00:04:42,461 if you want to eat here." 131 00:04:44,156 --> 00:04:45,430 - How's that relevant? - It's not. 132 00:04:45,532 --> 00:04:48,234 But the people that I just walked away from don't know that. 133 00:04:48,335 --> 00:04:49,869 All they know is that I'm over there 134 00:04:49,971 --> 00:04:52,304 exchanging witty banter with McNamee, 135 00:04:52,406 --> 00:04:53,839 and about what, they don't know. 136 00:04:53,941 --> 00:04:55,875 It's all that they do want to know. 137 00:04:55,977 --> 00:04:58,077 And then, it settles in. 138 00:04:58,179 --> 00:04:59,945 F.O.M.O. 139 00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:01,947 The fear of missing out. 140 00:05:02,049 --> 00:05:03,983 Suddenly, it feels like time is slowing down. 141 00:05:04,085 --> 00:05:06,685 I could see every move I was going to make 12 steps ahead. 142 00:05:06,788 --> 00:05:09,221 It was like I was Bobby Fischer if he could really fuck. 143 00:05:09,323 --> 00:05:11,190 I go outside, I walk across the street 144 00:05:11,292 --> 00:05:12,992 to Graylock, I check in on Instagram, 145 00:05:13,094 --> 00:05:15,761 Vinod Khosla calls me, asks me what I doing there. 146 00:05:15,863 --> 00:05:18,664 I say, "I can't talk right now. Call me at Wood Opal." 147 00:05:18,766 --> 00:05:21,500 Well, he does, and then suddenly Wood Opal is going, 148 00:05:21,602 --> 00:05:23,468 "What's Khosla got going on with Bachman?" 149 00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:26,505 Meanwhile, I'm taking a leak at a Restoration Hardware. 150 00:05:26,607 --> 00:05:28,808 I jack off a little bit. I don't cum. 151 00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:30,709 And then it snowballs. 152 00:05:30,812 --> 00:05:34,713 I deftly played Ross Loma against Index Ventures. 153 00:05:34,816 --> 00:05:38,818 And because of that, the big kahuna bites. 154 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,119 Sequoia. 155 00:05:40,221 --> 00:05:43,889 I spend the next 20 minutes denying calls from Jim Goetz, 156 00:05:43,991 --> 00:05:45,224 over and over. 157 00:05:45,326 --> 00:05:47,659 And yes, I'm jacking off, but I don't need to ejaculate 158 00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:50,196 because by the time I listen to the messages, 159 00:05:50,298 --> 00:05:53,332 I've got offers, I've got counters, 160 00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:55,334 I've got counter-counters. 161 00:05:55,436 --> 00:05:56,501 I cum. 162 00:05:57,972 --> 00:05:59,805 When the dust settled... 163 00:05:59,907 --> 00:06:03,843 and the losers went home, all that was left was this. 164 00:06:05,112 --> 00:06:06,278 "Hello, Mr. Bachman. 165 00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:09,849 "Coleman Blair Partners would like to offer Pied Piper 166 00:06:09,951 --> 00:06:13,785 "a Series B round of $6 million 167 00:06:13,888 --> 00:06:17,056 on a $60 million valuation." 168 00:06:20,472 --> 00:06:20,926 Yeah! 169 00:06:21,028 --> 00:06:23,295 Holy shit. 170 00:06:23,397 --> 00:06:25,931 And this asshole wanted to pivot to video chat. 171 00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:26,999 Still valid. 172 00:06:27,101 --> 00:06:29,634 Although less sexy now. I'll concede that. 173 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:30,970 It's my Mona Lisa. 174 00:06:31,072 --> 00:06:33,072 And the entire cornerstone 175 00:06:33,174 --> 00:06:36,575 upon which I built this motherfucking cathedral 176 00:06:36,677 --> 00:06:38,777 that I will forever be remembered for, 177 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:43,215 was this beautiful... little uptick. 178 00:06:44,818 --> 00:06:46,852 I think I have a bottle of Cold Duck in the crisper. 179 00:06:46,954 --> 00:06:48,254 Who's drinking? Come on! 180 00:06:48,356 --> 00:06:50,122 I got a bottle of Martinelli's for you, Jared. 181 00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:52,657 This is a big day! 182 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,560 We did it! Yes! 183 00:06:55,662 --> 00:06:57,629 - Are there any wine coolers? - I'll talk to him. 184 00:06:57,731 --> 00:06:58,864 I... I'll talk to him. 185 00:06:58,966 --> 00:07:00,900 Here's my Hooli badge. 186 00:07:01,969 --> 00:07:04,003 And I have a hanging tag 187 00:07:04,105 --> 00:07:06,705 on my rear-view mirror for the parking structure. 188 00:07:06,807 --> 00:07:07,907 Can I just mail that in? 189 00:07:08,009 --> 00:07:09,975 No, you need to go get that now. 190 00:07:10,077 --> 00:07:11,576 Okay. 191 00:07:20,151 --> 00:07:23,136 GOT TECH DIRT? EMAIL CJ CANTWELL NOW AT TIPS@CODERAG.COM 192 00:07:35,636 --> 00:07:36,835 Hey, Dinesh. 193 00:07:36,938 --> 00:07:38,837 I'm just... looking for Erlich. Have you seen him? 194 00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:40,239 Oh, he went to the liquor store. 195 00:07:40,341 --> 00:07:41,506 Gotta keep the party going, you know? 196 00:07:41,608 --> 00:07:43,642 Oh, yeah. Yeah, Series B. Crazy, right? 197 00:07:43,744 --> 00:07:45,411 - Oh, it's unreal. - Yeah. 198 00:07:45,512 --> 00:07:47,746 Almost like some of our users. 199 00:07:49,616 --> 00:07:50,582 What? 200 00:07:50,684 --> 00:07:52,117 What... what does that mean? 201 00:07:52,219 --> 00:07:54,353 Oh, "unreal" has so many meanings. 202 00:07:54,455 --> 00:07:56,288 "Fake," "paid for," 203 00:07:56,390 --> 00:07:59,959 "one person in Bangladesh pretending to be 6,000." 204 00:08:00,061 --> 00:08:01,593 Okay. 205 00:08:01,695 --> 00:08:03,295 All right, Dinesh... 206 00:08:03,397 --> 00:08:04,563 Oh, no. 207 00:08:04,665 --> 00:08:06,065 I don't want to know a fucking thing. 208 00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:08,367 Okay then. Great. 209 00:08:08,469 --> 00:08:12,338 I won't tell you anything because nothing happened. 210 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:13,405 Great. 211 00:08:13,507 --> 00:08:14,773 Okay. 212 00:08:15,943 --> 00:08:17,676 But if something did happen, 213 00:08:17,778 --> 00:08:19,211 and we're not saying it did, 214 00:08:19,313 --> 00:08:20,679 the fact remains 215 00:08:20,781 --> 00:08:23,048 that leaves us in a very advantageous position. 216 00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:25,250 There's a lot of money on the table. 217 00:08:25,353 --> 00:08:27,186 And it would be a shame if that went away. 218 00:08:27,288 --> 00:08:28,887 You know what else would be a shame... 219 00:08:28,990 --> 00:08:32,358 is if I couldn't find my flash drive. 220 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:34,360 Gilfoyle, have you seen my flash drive? 221 00:08:34,462 --> 00:08:36,328 Right, the one with the zombie script on it? 222 00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:40,165 Why yes, the zombie script that randomizes user action 223 00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:41,900 in platforms such as Pied Piper. 224 00:08:42,003 --> 00:08:45,705 You mean so that fake users and click farms would be 225 00:08:45,706 --> 00:08:48,340 absolutely indistinguishable from real users? 226 00:08:48,442 --> 00:08:49,408 Oh, I suppose. 227 00:08:49,510 --> 00:08:51,743 I mean, especially during due diligence, 228 00:08:51,845 --> 00:08:54,779 like the kind done by VCs or possible future reviews 229 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:57,949 done by certain regulatory bodies. 230 00:08:58,052 --> 00:09:00,486 It also had photos of my auntie. 231 00:09:01,588 --> 00:09:03,455 Anyway, Gilfoyle, have you seen it? 232 00:09:03,557 --> 00:09:04,556 I have not. 233 00:09:04,658 --> 00:09:07,926 Well, Richard, keep an eye out for it, will ya? 234 00:09:16,537 --> 00:09:18,637 Hey, Gilfoyle, you wanna come inside and help me 235 00:09:18,739 --> 00:09:23,375 get a new flash drive on www.staples.com? 236 00:09:23,477 --> 00:09:25,110 - Yeah, I think we're sort of done with the ruse. - Okay. 237 00:09:25,212 --> 00:09:27,379 Okay, fine. Well, whatever you did 238 00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:30,715 or didn't do, that was serial-killer-level shit. 239 00:09:30,817 --> 00:09:31,650 Agreed. 240 00:09:31,752 --> 00:09:34,019 I think I finally respect you as a CEO. 241 00:09:38,659 --> 00:09:39,858 Fuck. 242 00:09:49,570 --> 00:09:50,569 This is fraud. 243 00:09:50,671 --> 00:09:52,204 Is it? 244 00:09:52,306 --> 00:09:56,007 I mean, our... our platform does exactly what we say it does. 245 00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:58,009 Okay? It's not like we're lying about it 246 00:09:58,112 --> 00:09:59,344 like fucking Theranos. 247 00:09:59,447 --> 00:10:02,147 And if our platform works, which we know it will, 248 00:10:02,249 --> 00:10:05,050 we will make them billions of dollars. 249 00:10:05,152 --> 00:10:06,452 Everybody wins, Jared. 250 00:10:06,554 --> 00:10:07,719 You still believe that, right? 251 00:10:07,821 --> 00:10:10,655 That, if given enough time, the platform will catch on? 252 00:10:10,757 --> 00:10:14,025 Richard, don't weaponize my faith in you against me. 253 00:10:14,128 --> 00:10:16,828 Your faith made all this possible. 254 00:10:17,593 --> 00:10:18,197 It's wrong. 255 00:10:18,299 --> 00:10:20,932 Well, every time I try to do the right thing, I get fucked. 256 00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:22,468 And if I do the right thing here, 257 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:23,802 we're done. That's it. 258 00:10:23,904 --> 00:10:25,971 Doesn't seem like much of an option, does it? 259 00:10:30,032 --> 00:10:32,411 Deng, they're all just so good. 260 00:10:33,275 --> 00:10:35,114 Gavin, CJ Cantwell, line one. 261 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,416 Deng, let's pick this up tomorrow. 262 00:10:40,087 --> 00:10:41,019 CJ. 263 00:10:41,122 --> 00:10:43,355 I'm finishing a story I'd love a comment on. 264 00:10:43,457 --> 00:10:46,992 It's about the death of an unpermitted Indian elephant 265 00:10:47,094 --> 00:10:50,562 named Maurice in your sculpture garden and its subsequent 266 00:10:50,664 --> 00:10:52,598 illegal dumping in the San Francisco Bay. 267 00:10:52,699 --> 00:10:54,299 That's preposterous. 268 00:10:55,019 --> 00:10:56,101 I have a very good source. 269 00:10:57,738 --> 00:10:59,671 What do you propose we do here? 270 00:10:59,773 --> 00:11:01,540 Well, I have one idea. 271 00:11:01,642 --> 00:11:04,009 And what, pray tell, might that be? 272 00:11:04,111 --> 00:11:08,013 CJ sold the blog for $2 million. 273 00:11:08,115 --> 00:11:10,516 No shit. 274 00:11:10,618 --> 00:11:11,583 Bachmanity rides again. 275 00:11:11,685 --> 00:11:14,319 Well, not exactly. I called Big Head 276 00:11:14,421 --> 00:11:16,755 to tell him that our share was worth half a mil each, 277 00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:18,590 and... not five minutes later, 278 00:11:18,692 --> 00:11:21,560 his father, one Nelson Bighetti, Sr., 279 00:11:21,662 --> 00:11:23,862 called me and explained that I was never to have 280 00:11:23,964 --> 00:11:25,964 any financial dealings with his son 281 00:11:26,066 --> 00:11:28,400 in perpetuity... ever 282 00:11:28,502 --> 00:11:30,202 or he would get very Italian on me. 283 00:11:31,041 --> 00:11:33,606 And I'm not interested to find out what that means. 284 00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:34,839 Okay. Shall we? 285 00:11:34,941 --> 00:11:37,075 To Coleman Blair! Let's close this fucker. 286 00:11:37,178 --> 00:11:38,477 Good luck, fellas. 287 00:12:04,871 --> 00:12:07,539 Remember, you just sit there and look pretty. 288 00:12:07,641 --> 00:12:09,074 Leave all the talking to me. 289 00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,875 And if you mention my Montblanc, 290 00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:13,378 then... don't make it overt, like I told you to. 291 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:14,946 But do. 292 00:12:18,686 --> 00:12:19,718 Hey, what's up? 293 00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,653 Are you guys out raising money from someone else? 294 00:12:21,755 --> 00:12:24,856 Monica, it's... it's kind of a long story. 295 00:12:24,958 --> 00:12:27,326 Why are you whispering? 296 00:12:27,428 --> 00:12:29,961 Oh, my God, you're there right now, aren't you? 297 00:12:30,063 --> 00:12:31,330 Jesus! Do you have any idea 298 00:12:31,432 --> 00:12:33,131 how big of an asshole you're making me look here? 299 00:12:33,234 --> 00:12:35,400 Laurie just lost her shit at me, okay? 300 00:12:35,502 --> 00:12:37,869 So, you need to turn around and walk the hell out of there. 301 00:12:37,971 --> 00:12:40,472 Erlich put all this together. I really had nothing to do with it. 302 00:12:40,574 --> 00:12:42,107 You have everything to do with it. 303 00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:43,709 You're the fucking CEO, Richard! 304 00:12:43,810 --> 00:12:47,312 Whatever your company does is 100% on you! 305 00:12:47,414 --> 00:12:48,580 Gentlemen. 306 00:12:49,683 --> 00:12:50,949 They're ready for you. 307 00:12:51,051 --> 00:12:52,251 Yes. I... I gotta go. 308 00:12:52,353 --> 00:12:53,318 Do not hang up on me. 309 00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:55,254 Richard, do not... 310 00:12:56,189 --> 00:12:57,389 So listen, we're pumped, guys. 311 00:12:57,491 --> 00:13:00,693 We're thrilled to be getting into Pied Piper right at this inflection point. 312 00:13:00,694 --> 00:13:01,693 It's very exciting. 313 00:13:01,795 --> 00:13:03,662 We are pumped as well. Aren't we, Richard? 314 00:13:03,764 --> 00:13:04,829 Richard. 315 00:13:04,931 --> 00:13:05,864 - Pumped. - Pumped! 316 00:13:05,966 --> 00:13:07,799 - We are pumped up. - Pumped up. 317 00:13:07,901 --> 00:13:11,370 So we'll just need your John Hancock right here. 318 00:13:11,472 --> 00:13:12,371 Oh, sure, Richard. 319 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,906 You can use my Montblanc. 320 00:13:17,578 --> 00:13:19,244 This is an actual term sheet. 321 00:13:19,346 --> 00:13:21,946 And once I sign this... this, that's it, right? 322 00:13:22,048 --> 00:13:24,349 Yup. No turning back. 323 00:13:26,820 --> 00:13:29,355 You can have your lawyers vet the actual stock purchase agreement 324 00:13:29,356 --> 00:13:32,191 once we close here just to make sure no one is pulling any funny business. 325 00:13:32,192 --> 00:13:35,093 No, no. No, my lawyer is in jail, so. 326 00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:37,696 So. 327 00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:48,610 Oh, my God. I... 328 00:13:48,611 --> 00:13:50,275 Wow, I can't believe I didn't think of this 329 00:13:50,377 --> 00:13:52,243 before... because, 330 00:13:52,346 --> 00:13:53,679 well, let me put it to you this way. 331 00:13:53,781 --> 00:13:55,246 What would you say if I told you that 332 00:13:55,349 --> 00:13:57,516 the same compression that you know and love 333 00:13:57,618 --> 00:13:59,318 is being used in a world-beating, 334 00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:02,621 game-changing... wait for it... 335 00:14:02,723 --> 00:14:04,623 video conferencing application? 336 00:14:04,725 --> 00:14:08,059 Wouldn't that be interesting? 337 00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:11,730 - What? - You mean like Hooli-Chat? 338 00:14:11,832 --> 00:14:14,132 This will be far superior to Hooli-Chat. 339 00:14:14,234 --> 00:14:16,134 You may want to fund that instead. 340 00:14:16,236 --> 00:14:17,636 In fact, why don't I... 341 00:14:17,738 --> 00:14:19,304 why don't I just go home, I'll grab my laptop, 342 00:14:19,406 --> 00:14:20,972 I'll come back here, I'll show it to you guys. 343 00:14:21,074 --> 00:14:22,441 It's not that far. I don't mind. 344 00:14:22,543 --> 00:14:24,309 - I'll tell you what, I'll grab an Uber. - Richard, what... 345 00:14:24,411 --> 00:14:25,877 - No, no, no, no. - It's no problem. 346 00:14:25,979 --> 00:14:27,912 - Richard, what the fuck are you doing? - There. I've ordered it. 347 00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:30,114 Neal is in a blue Kia Sportage and he's right around the corner. 348 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,717 All right, all right. Look, look, look. 349 00:14:31,819 --> 00:14:34,619 I don't know who else you're talking to about the platform, 350 00:14:34,722 --> 00:14:36,921 but I'm willing to go up to seven million on 70. 351 00:14:37,023 --> 00:14:39,991 Okay? But that's it. You sign this thing right here and right now. 352 00:14:40,093 --> 00:14:42,293 Bravo, Richard. Nice neg. 353 00:14:42,396 --> 00:14:43,628 Now sign it. 354 00:14:43,731 --> 00:14:45,731 Thank you. Very generous of you. 355 00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:48,600 I just... I just want to make sure that you're aware of all the feedback 356 00:14:48,702 --> 00:14:51,236 'cause we had some focus groups and there were some issues. 357 00:14:51,338 --> 00:14:52,471 Just so you're clear, 358 00:14:52,573 --> 00:14:55,741 people have been wondering, "Eh! Where are my files? 359 00:14:55,843 --> 00:14:57,942 - "Zero K used? Where's the download button? - Richard, Richard... 360 00:14:58,044 --> 00:14:59,911 - The terminator... " - All right, all right, you know what? 361 00:15:00,013 --> 00:15:02,113 - 'Cause it... - I'm gonna sign it. Can I sign it? I'll sign it. 362 00:15:02,215 --> 00:15:05,216 You can if you want, but we still need his signature. 363 00:15:05,217 --> 00:15:10,289 _T_U_S_U_B_T_I_T_U_L_O 364 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:12,491 Richard, sign it. 365 00:15:12,593 --> 00:15:14,158 That's two years of runway. 366 00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,894 - Sign it now! - I can't. 367 00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:17,496 Why the fuck not? 368 00:15:17,598 --> 00:15:18,864 Because the numbers are fake. 369 00:15:21,602 --> 00:15:22,667 What? What do you mean? 370 00:15:22,770 --> 00:15:24,770 - What do you... - We bought... 371 00:15:24,872 --> 00:15:28,540 fake users from a Bangladeshi click farm. 372 00:15:29,576 --> 00:15:30,975 The uptick was fake. 373 00:15:32,312 --> 00:15:35,814 But the... the vid chat... 374 00:15:35,916 --> 00:15:37,282 is real. 375 00:15:37,384 --> 00:15:40,118 Erlich, the fake users were just meant to cheer the guys up. 376 00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:41,887 I had no idea you were gonna take those numbers... 377 00:15:41,988 --> 00:15:43,288 And what, and go do my fucking job?! 378 00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:45,557 Pour everything I had into getting the best possible 379 00:15:45,659 --> 00:15:48,259 deal for Pied Piper because I believe in them? 380 00:15:48,361 --> 00:15:49,594 Well, that's all over now. 381 00:15:49,696 --> 00:15:52,063 Richard, we are fucked! 382 00:15:52,165 --> 00:15:54,032 In the amount of time that it took for us to get 383 00:15:54,134 --> 00:15:55,600 from that office to right here, 384 00:15:55,702 --> 00:15:57,436 every VC in the Valley knows about this. 385 00:15:57,538 --> 00:16:00,271 If I signed those term sheets, I would be committing fraud. 386 00:16:00,373 --> 00:16:01,606 That's a fucking crime! 387 00:16:01,708 --> 00:16:02,841 You're saying you wanted me to... 388 00:16:02,943 --> 00:16:04,676 No, I wanted you to fucking think about that 389 00:16:04,778 --> 00:16:07,045 before you paraded me around the whole fucking valley 390 00:16:07,147 --> 00:16:08,112 to sell your lie! 391 00:16:08,214 --> 00:16:11,583 And then suddenly grew a thick, girthy conscience 392 00:16:11,685 --> 00:16:12,684 and fucked me with it. 393 00:16:12,786 --> 00:16:14,152 Are you Richard? 394 00:16:14,254 --> 00:16:16,621 - Did you order an Uber? - No. 395 00:16:17,958 --> 00:16:21,059 All you had to do was keep your fucking mouth shut 396 00:16:21,161 --> 00:16:23,027 and sign that piece of paper. 397 00:16:23,129 --> 00:16:25,430 We would have fixed it afterwards. 398 00:16:25,532 --> 00:16:27,732 But you didn't. You caked your pants. 399 00:16:27,835 --> 00:16:29,935 No, better yet, you caked my pants. 400 00:16:30,036 --> 00:16:31,603 Fuck you, Richard Hendricks. 401 00:16:31,705 --> 00:16:33,204 Fuck you. 402 00:16:34,307 --> 00:16:35,774 Richard Hendricks, huh? 403 00:16:35,876 --> 00:16:37,408 Prick. 404 00:16:44,585 --> 00:16:47,085 - Hey. - Oh, hey, Monica. 405 00:16:47,187 --> 00:16:48,954 Is Richard here? I heard what happened, 406 00:16:49,055 --> 00:16:50,555 but he's not answering any of my calls. 407 00:16:50,657 --> 00:16:52,423 We just wanted you to know for the record 408 00:16:52,526 --> 00:16:55,861 that we had no idea any of that stuff was going on. 409 00:16:55,963 --> 00:16:57,896 Still trying to wrap our heads around it. 410 00:16:57,998 --> 00:17:00,832 Point is, don't beat yourself up about not seeing it. 411 00:17:00,934 --> 00:17:02,501 I'm not beating myself up... 412 00:17:02,603 --> 00:17:05,136 I hope you don't think we're guilty by association, 413 00:17:05,238 --> 00:17:08,840 because then we would have to think you're guilty by association, which we don't. 414 00:17:08,942 --> 00:17:11,342 Just want to let you know that we would definitely work 415 00:17:11,444 --> 00:17:12,744 with you again in the future. 416 00:17:12,846 --> 00:17:15,046 It's good to know. Guys, thanks. 417 00:17:16,224 --> 00:17:17,482 Is he in his room? 418 00:17:17,584 --> 00:17:19,851 I mean, he said he was. 419 00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:23,187 But... 420 00:17:23,289 --> 00:17:24,923 I'm gonna go to his room. 421 00:17:29,459 --> 00:17:30,194 What's up, Gleb? 422 00:17:30,296 --> 00:17:33,331 I hear... Richard shit bed, huh? 423 00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:36,434 So, the platform is no goo... 424 00:17:36,537 --> 00:17:39,170 Fuck, now the vid chat's fucking up. 425 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,306 Odd, considering who wrote the code for it. 426 00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,643 Not the code. The server is overloaded. 427 00:17:44,745 --> 00:17:46,878 How is that possible? We only gave it to like 12 people. 428 00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:50,515 Well, there's a few more than that using it now. 429 00:17:51,652 --> 00:17:52,584 Holy shit. 430 00:17:52,686 --> 00:17:54,185 For what it's worth, Richard, 431 00:17:54,287 --> 00:17:55,820 I think you did the right thing. 432 00:17:55,923 --> 00:17:58,489 And I can see now why you didn't want to come to us for funding. 433 00:17:58,592 --> 00:18:00,491 You were trying to protect us. 434 00:18:00,594 --> 00:18:02,093 Yeah. 435 00:18:02,195 --> 00:18:03,728 Well, I really appreciate it. 436 00:18:05,157 --> 00:18:06,631 Laurie wants out. 437 00:18:06,733 --> 00:18:10,334 Even a whiff of fraud is a mortal sin for VCs. 438 00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:13,304 She needs to wash her hands of any Pied Piper business. 439 00:18:13,406 --> 00:18:14,706 She's forcing a sale. 440 00:18:14,808 --> 00:18:16,140 Fuck. 441 00:18:16,242 --> 00:18:18,910 Yeah, frick. 442 00:18:19,012 --> 00:18:20,111 Yeah. 443 00:18:20,213 --> 00:18:21,412 But it is an open auction, 444 00:18:21,514 --> 00:18:23,748 and, you know, between the fraudulent numbers 445 00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:26,084 and the real numbers, 446 00:18:26,186 --> 00:18:28,252 you guys aren't exactly killing it out there. 447 00:18:28,354 --> 00:18:30,622 So, there is a chance that no one will bid 448 00:18:30,724 --> 00:18:33,826 and you might be able to buy back your own company for next to nothing. 449 00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:35,660 That will have to be for literally nothing 450 00:18:35,762 --> 00:18:37,629 because we're out of money. 451 00:18:43,003 --> 00:18:44,569 Jesus! Are you okay? 452 00:18:44,671 --> 00:18:47,105 Yeah, we're fine. 453 00:18:47,207 --> 00:18:49,440 All right, I spun together a few more servers. 454 00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:50,942 That should handle the traffic. 455 00:18:51,044 --> 00:18:54,847 Look at this. There are 157 people using it near Gleb. 456 00:18:54,848 --> 00:18:58,068 And 400 people using it near Tara in Boston. 457 00:18:58,069 --> 00:19:00,184 Yeah, I told her to give it to her Satanist friends out there. 458 00:19:00,286 --> 00:19:01,452 Looks like she did. 459 00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:05,323 She knows 400 Satanists in Boston? 460 00:19:05,425 --> 00:19:07,792 The Catholic church really did a number on that town. 461 00:19:09,162 --> 00:19:12,163 Hey, Erlich, remember when Gilfoyle said that 462 00:19:12,265 --> 00:19:14,065 my video chat app was a piece of shit 463 00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:15,967 and that nobody would ever use it? 464 00:19:16,069 --> 00:19:19,504 Well, he was wrong. Over 4,000 times. 465 00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:22,373 Wow, and you developed that with the Pied Piper IP, right? 466 00:19:23,309 --> 00:19:25,143 Well, then you can kiss that goodbye. 467 00:19:26,212 --> 00:19:27,211 Oh, fuck. 468 00:19:27,313 --> 00:19:29,147 Speaking of, I'm actually using 469 00:19:29,249 --> 00:19:31,916 the first dollars of my blog windfall 470 00:19:32,019 --> 00:19:33,852 on a trip to Kainchi Dham Ashram 471 00:19:33,954 --> 00:19:35,954 in Nainital, India, 472 00:19:36,056 --> 00:19:39,858 where Steve Jobs famously sought peace and came up 473 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:44,095 with the idea for a little product called the Lisa. 474 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:45,729 Good luck. 475 00:19:47,868 --> 00:19:51,036 Richard, I'll expect you off the premises 476 00:19:51,138 --> 00:19:52,570 by end of day. 477 00:19:52,673 --> 00:19:54,072 Monica. 478 00:19:56,176 --> 00:19:57,942 - I'll see you later. - Okay. 479 00:19:58,045 --> 00:20:01,012 You know, you can stay here for one year. Free rent. 480 00:20:01,114 --> 00:20:02,480 Jian-Yang! 481 00:20:05,986 --> 00:20:07,318 Laurie! 482 00:20:09,925 --> 00:20:11,355 Gavin. 483 00:20:11,457 --> 00:20:12,924 You know Jack, of course. 484 00:20:13,026 --> 00:20:14,225 That is correct. 485 00:20:15,404 --> 00:20:17,829 Gavin, can we address the elephant in the room? 486 00:20:18,865 --> 00:20:20,865 - Sorry? - Pied Piper. 487 00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:23,168 Right. Yes, of course. 488 00:20:23,269 --> 00:20:25,570 I am forcing a sale. 489 00:20:25,672 --> 00:20:28,840 Your Maleant dealings demonstrate that you're still pursuing a middle-out. 490 00:20:28,942 --> 00:20:30,909 Might you be interested in placing a bid? 491 00:20:31,011 --> 00:20:32,877 Why would he want to bail out Raviga? 492 00:20:32,979 --> 00:20:34,478 You said it yourself, 493 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,447 our compression play is thriving. 494 00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:37,916 Fair enough. 495 00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:40,346 You know what? I'm a completionist. 496 00:20:40,347 --> 00:20:42,320 Even if I buy it just to throw it in the garbage, 497 00:20:42,422 --> 00:20:44,122 I'd like to be the one to drive the final nail 498 00:20:44,224 --> 00:20:45,556 in the Hendricks coffin. 499 00:20:45,658 --> 00:20:47,859 I'll give you... 500 00:20:47,961 --> 00:20:49,127 $900 for it? 501 00:20:50,519 --> 00:20:51,662 I believe that is a joke. 502 00:20:51,765 --> 00:20:54,899 You know what? I like nice, round numbers. 503 00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:57,068 Make it... 504 00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:59,003 a million? 505 00:20:59,106 --> 00:21:00,238 A million dollars? 506 00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:03,975 Gavin Belson gets to buy Pied Piper for $1 million 507 00:21:04,077 --> 00:21:07,345 and Raviga gets all of it because of their liquidation preference 508 00:21:07,447 --> 00:21:08,479 and I get jack shit? 509 00:21:08,581 --> 00:21:10,548 Is that what you're telling me? Goddamn it. 510 00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:12,951 I know this is the last way that you wanted it to end. 511 00:21:13,053 --> 00:21:14,352 I'm really sorry. 512 00:21:14,454 --> 00:21:16,788 Yeah, well, I... I'll see you at the meeting. 513 00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:18,857 Is that Hooli-Chat? 514 00:21:18,959 --> 00:21:20,125 They fix it or something? 515 00:21:20,227 --> 00:21:21,325 That didn't look shitty at all. 516 00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:22,961 Actually, it's... it's ours. 517 00:21:23,063 --> 00:21:24,495 The guys hacked it together. 518 00:21:24,597 --> 00:21:25,930 I can send you an invite if you want. 519 00:21:26,032 --> 00:21:27,232 Yeah. Cool. Thanks. 520 00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:30,334 We got up to 4K users totally organically. 521 00:21:30,436 --> 00:21:32,771 Oh, shit! 7K now. 522 00:21:33,974 --> 00:21:36,507 Wow, we should have been focusing on this instead. 523 00:21:36,609 --> 00:21:37,976 Not that it matters. 524 00:21:38,078 --> 00:21:40,678 I mean, it's all gonna be property of Gavin Belson in an hour, so. 525 00:21:40,781 --> 00:21:42,580 That's ironic, huh? 526 00:21:43,583 --> 00:21:45,416 N... no, for real, I'm asking. Is it? 527 00:21:45,518 --> 00:21:47,418 I don't know. I was just smiling. 528 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,420 Feels ironic. 529 00:21:50,891 --> 00:21:52,891 Hey... so thank you for... 530 00:21:52,993 --> 00:21:54,659 letting me stay here. No worries. 531 00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:56,961 Steve says you're welcome to take my spot on the couch 532 00:21:57,063 --> 00:21:59,597 until you can find a job and get your own place. 533 00:21:59,699 --> 00:22:00,698 Thanks. 534 00:22:00,801 --> 00:22:03,334 So... when's your dad coming to pick you up? 535 00:22:04,264 --> 00:22:05,336 A couple of hours I guess. 536 00:22:05,438 --> 00:22:08,106 Then we're turning right around and going back to Phoenix. 537 00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:09,908 You know, he said he wants to be able 538 00:22:10,010 --> 00:22:12,143 to keep an eye on me and my money 539 00:22:12,245 --> 00:22:13,711 and that I need to get a real job 540 00:22:13,814 --> 00:22:16,080 to learn the value of a... of a hard day's night 541 00:22:16,183 --> 00:22:18,216 or something like that. 542 00:22:18,318 --> 00:22:20,751 Well... I should probably get going to this board meeting. 543 00:22:20,854 --> 00:22:25,589 And you're probably gonna be gone when I'm back, so... 544 00:22:25,692 --> 00:22:27,859 - guess this is it. - Yeah, I guess so. 545 00:22:27,961 --> 00:22:28,993 See ya. 546 00:22:31,531 --> 00:22:32,630 - Okay. - Okay. 547 00:22:32,732 --> 00:22:35,366 - All right. Cool, man. - There we go. 548 00:22:42,742 --> 00:22:45,609 Richard, e... even though it's the last board meeting 549 00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:47,846 and... and essentially meaningless, 550 00:22:47,948 --> 00:22:49,981 thank you for letting me be a part of it. 551 00:22:50,083 --> 00:22:51,282 It's an honor. 552 00:22:51,384 --> 00:22:53,584 Okay, you don't have to keep saying that. 553 00:22:55,822 --> 00:22:57,722 Good day, all. This should be brief. 554 00:22:57,824 --> 00:23:00,358 The only item on the agenda is, 555 00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:01,659 of course, the authorization 556 00:23:01,761 --> 00:23:03,527 of the sale of Pied Piper to the current high bidder. 557 00:23:03,629 --> 00:23:05,396 Three "yes" votes will approve the sale. 558 00:23:05,498 --> 00:23:08,132 And as Raviga controls three of the board seats, 559 00:23:08,235 --> 00:23:09,834 - it seems... - I'm sorry. I... 560 00:23:11,304 --> 00:23:12,503 I'm not doing it. 561 00:23:12,605 --> 00:23:13,938 Oh, Monica, not again. 562 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,207 I'm sorry, but look, Richard has worked too hard 563 00:23:16,309 --> 00:23:18,576 and I know that I can't stop it, but I'm not gonna vote 564 00:23:18,678 --> 00:23:20,879 to let Pied Piper become the property of that asshole. 565 00:23:20,981 --> 00:23:24,615 Monica, I also happen to find him contemptible. 566 00:23:24,717 --> 00:23:27,818 But Pied Piper will be sold to the high bidder, period. 567 00:23:27,921 --> 00:23:29,720 You know what? I don't care. 568 00:23:29,822 --> 00:23:31,055 You want to fire me, fire me. 569 00:23:31,157 --> 00:23:33,191 If we're not gonna adhere to the values that 570 00:23:33,293 --> 00:23:35,960 Peter Gregory instilled, then I don't think I belong here. 571 00:23:36,062 --> 00:23:37,428 Monica, you don't have to do this. 572 00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:40,498 - I'm not voting yes. - Very well. You're off the board. 573 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,400 Excuse me! Man! 574 00:23:42,401 --> 00:23:44,336 !T!U!S!U!B!T!I!T!U!L!O 575 00:23:44,337 --> 00:23:45,203 Do you work here? 576 00:23:45,305 --> 00:23:46,771 Well, it was my first day actually. 577 00:23:46,873 --> 00:23:48,373 - Everybody's been super ni... - Sit. 578 00:23:48,474 --> 00:23:51,342 You are now officially on the board of directors of Pied Piper. 579 00:23:51,444 --> 00:23:54,379 Oh, okay. That's fine I guess. 580 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,980 When I point to you, you will vote yes. 581 00:23:56,082 --> 00:23:58,283 Now, I move to vote on the sale of Pied Piper. 582 00:23:58,385 --> 00:23:59,918 I vote yes. 583 00:24:00,020 --> 00:24:01,719 I vote yes. 584 00:24:01,821 --> 00:24:03,154 And Evan. 585 00:24:04,958 --> 00:24:06,224 Evan? 586 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,060 I can't do it. 587 00:24:09,162 --> 00:24:10,128 What? Why? 588 00:24:10,230 --> 00:24:12,897 Because... 589 00:24:12,999 --> 00:24:14,065 Monica? 590 00:24:15,168 --> 00:24:16,267 I love you. 591 00:24:16,369 --> 00:24:18,502 There. I said it. 592 00:24:18,604 --> 00:24:21,172 - And I could never do anything to make you sad. - Oh, for fuck's sake! 593 00:24:21,274 --> 00:24:22,740 Do I have to pull the receptionist in here? 594 00:24:22,842 --> 00:24:24,909 How does this compare with a typical board meeting? 595 00:24:25,011 --> 00:24:26,844 All right, stop. Everybody, just stop. 596 00:24:26,947 --> 00:24:28,746 We all know how this is gonna go, 597 00:24:28,848 --> 00:24:30,014 so let's just get it over with. 598 00:24:30,116 --> 00:24:31,115 All right? 599 00:24:32,255 --> 00:24:33,117 I vote yes. There. 600 00:24:33,219 --> 00:24:34,718 Okay? I approve the sale. 601 00:24:34,821 --> 00:24:37,521 Three "yes" votes. Can this please just be done? 602 00:24:37,623 --> 00:24:38,489 Very well. 603 00:24:38,591 --> 00:24:41,292 I vote yes also. Irrelevant. 604 00:24:41,394 --> 00:24:42,293 But thank you. 605 00:24:42,395 --> 00:24:43,627 The sale is approved. 606 00:24:43,729 --> 00:24:46,097 Pied Piper, its IP, and all of its assets 607 00:24:46,199 --> 00:24:49,300 are now officially the property of Bachmanity, LLC. 608 00:24:50,603 --> 00:24:53,237 Wait, sorry, did... 609 00:24:53,340 --> 00:24:56,274 did you just say "Bachmanity"? 610 00:24:56,376 --> 00:24:59,243 As in Erlich Bachman and Nelson Bighetti? 611 00:24:59,346 --> 00:25:00,744 Yes, you know them. 612 00:25:00,847 --> 00:25:03,314 They... wait, they... they had the highest bid? 613 00:25:03,416 --> 00:25:07,151 I received a telephone call approximately 30 minutes ago 614 00:25:07,253 --> 00:25:10,355 entering a bid of one million and one dollars with a firm no-shop clause. 615 00:25:10,457 --> 00:25:13,924 So when you were referring to the person who bought Pied Piper 616 00:25:14,027 --> 00:25:17,862 as a contemptible asshole, you were talking about Erlich? 617 00:25:17,964 --> 00:25:22,166 To which contemptible asshole did you think I was referring? 618 00:25:22,268 --> 00:25:23,534 Gavin Belson. 619 00:25:26,272 --> 00:25:28,072 I see. No. 620 00:25:29,034 --> 00:25:30,274 This meeting is adjourned. 621 00:25:30,377 --> 00:25:32,877 I thank you all for your time. 622 00:25:35,548 --> 00:25:38,182 So... Bachmanity it is. 623 00:25:41,287 --> 00:25:42,320 That's good. 624 00:25:42,422 --> 00:25:46,257 So... should we give this thing a shot? 625 00:25:57,970 --> 00:25:59,603 You and Big Head, huh? 626 00:26:04,077 --> 00:26:06,944 Sorry you had to cancel your trip. 627 00:26:07,047 --> 00:26:09,914 And look, I... I really appreciate all this. 628 00:26:10,016 --> 00:26:13,851 I really think this video chat thing is gonna be something, you know? 629 00:26:13,953 --> 00:26:16,754 - I don't know if you've seen the numbers. - You want a number? 630 00:26:16,856 --> 00:26:19,223 The percentage I give a fuck about you, zero. 631 00:26:19,325 --> 00:26:20,658 It's trending steady. 632 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,327 And of course I've seen the numbers. 633 00:26:23,430 --> 00:26:24,862 This is a business opportunity. 634 00:26:24,964 --> 00:26:26,931 Nothing more. Big Head was your friend. 635 00:26:27,033 --> 00:26:29,767 He was the one that... talked me into it. 636 00:26:31,571 --> 00:26:33,438 I don't trust you, Richard Hendricks. 637 00:26:35,075 --> 00:26:38,609 And it's gonna take a long, long, long time 638 00:26:38,711 --> 00:26:40,278 to regain my trust. 639 00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:41,879 Are we clear? 640 00:26:43,583 --> 00:26:46,250 Are we absolutely clear? 641 00:26:46,352 --> 00:26:53,074 Always blue! Always blue! 642 00:26:53,926 --> 00:26:55,293 You suck. 643 00:26:55,395 --> 00:26:57,628 Oh, fuck, it's my dad again. 644 00:26:57,730 --> 00:26:59,197 He's gotta be so pissed. 645 00:26:59,299 --> 00:27:00,731 I can't believe this is happening, you guys. 646 00:27:00,833 --> 00:27:02,900 I mean, I guess now we're a video chat company, 647 00:27:03,002 --> 00:27:05,069 but the best part of it is it's us, you know? 648 00:27:05,171 --> 00:27:07,338 Just us controlling our own destiny. 649 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,573 No, the best part of it is I own 50%. 650 00:27:10,511 --> 00:27:11,008 Well, yes, 651 00:27:11,111 --> 00:27:13,511 you and Big Head do own the entire company, 652 00:27:13,613 --> 00:27:15,313 but I am the founder, it's my algorithm, 653 00:27:15,415 --> 00:27:17,681 so I'm assuming I'm getting my original shares back, right? 654 00:27:17,783 --> 00:27:19,083 Why would you assume that? 655 00:27:19,185 --> 00:27:21,018 Well, when a tech company reboots, 656 00:27:21,121 --> 00:27:23,154 it's normal to have a... a conversation 657 00:27:23,256 --> 00:27:24,722 about restructuring the cap table. 658 00:27:24,824 --> 00:27:28,159 Good, 'cause I'm the guy that hacked together the video chat app 659 00:27:28,261 --> 00:27:30,027 to see if that woman was hot, so... 660 00:27:30,130 --> 00:27:34,098 Yeah, but it's not gonna scale until I get in there and scrape all the Dinesh off. 661 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,666 Well, Laurie still hasn't called me back, 662 00:27:35,768 --> 00:27:37,168 so I may need a new job. 663 00:27:37,270 --> 00:27:40,571 And I'm assuming Pied Piper can't afford my salary, 664 00:27:40,673 --> 00:27:41,939 so I'll need stock. 665 00:27:42,041 --> 00:27:44,808 Do we really want it to be called Pied Piper anymore? 666 00:27:44,910 --> 00:27:47,111 No, yes. Of cour... of... of course we want... 667 00:27:47,213 --> 00:27:49,013 Why do we want to change the name? It's great. 668 00:27:49,115 --> 00:27:51,482 Yeah, and we do already have the jackets. 669 00:27:51,584 --> 00:27:54,385 Big. Head. 670 00:27:55,622 --> 00:27:56,820 Big Head. 671 00:27:57,890 --> 00:27:58,822 Go for Erlich. 672 00:27:58,924 --> 00:28:01,992 Erlich Bachman, this is you as an old man. 673 00:28:02,094 --> 00:28:06,697 I'm ugly and I'm dead. Alone. 674 00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:09,200 I'm gonna let him have this one. 675 00:28:09,302 --> 00:28:10,201 All right... 676 00:28:10,303 --> 00:28:12,403 well, I'm sorry to hear that, Future Me. 677 00:28:12,505 --> 00:28:13,404 What a terrible thing. 678 00:28:13,506 --> 00:28:15,206 I'll talk to you in several years. 679 00:28:15,308 --> 00:28:16,340 You're up. 680 00:28:16,442 --> 00:28:25,234 Always blue! Always blue! 681 00:28:25,235 --> 00:29:35,040 www.TUSUBTITULO.com -DIFUNDE LA CULTURA-