1
00:00:00,091 --> 00:00:05,325
www.TUSUBTITULO.com
-DIFUNDE LA CULTURA-

2
00:00:07,554 --> 00:00:12,490
Okay, one extra-large, virgin margarita.

3
00:00:12,592 --> 00:00:14,826
- Thank you, Richard.
- What took you so long?

4
00:00:14,928 --> 00:00:17,395
I actually... I met a girl.

5
00:00:17,497 --> 00:00:19,530
It's called the bartender,
she works here.

6
00:00:19,632 --> 00:00:21,032
No, no. It's a real girl.

7
00:00:21,134 --> 00:00:23,668
And I actually got her
real phone number.

8
00:00:23,770 --> 00:00:25,870
Check you out, Mr. Casanova.

9
00:00:25,973 --> 00:00:28,673
Where is this individual?

10
00:00:28,775 --> 00:00:31,242
She's right over there.

11
00:00:31,345 --> 00:00:34,346
- The tall dude?
- No, behind him.

12
00:00:34,448 --> 00:00:36,948
Oh, she must be hiding behind that
attractive girl in the red sweater.

13
00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:39,617
No, it is the attractive
girl in the red sweater.

14
00:00:39,719 --> 00:00:41,052
Can we stop looking at her?

15
00:00:41,154 --> 00:00:42,587
She's magnificent.

16
00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:44,122
Are you sure it's not the tall guy?

17
00:00:44,224 --> 00:00:46,157
Why are we surprised that young Richard

18
00:00:46,259 --> 00:00:48,026
is garnering the attention of ladies?

19
00:00:48,128 --> 00:00:51,229
After all, he's king again.
Women like that.

20
00:00:51,331 --> 00:00:53,931
Okay, so she's a founder hounder.

21
00:00:54,034 --> 00:00:55,833
Come on, no, it... it's not like that.

22
00:00:55,935 --> 00:00:58,303
But you did tell her that you're
the CEO of your own company?

23
00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:00,605
It came up. But I mean, honestly,

24
00:01:00,707 --> 00:01:03,476
how else was I going to explain that me
and my friends were at a bar?

25
00:01:03,477 --> 00:01:04,642
That is a good point.

26
00:01:04,744 --> 00:01:05,843
Anytime you're near a woman,

27
00:01:05,945 --> 00:01:07,578
it is important to explain why.

28
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,814
Otherwise, they get nervous.

29
00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:12,117
Gentlemen.

30
00:01:12,219 --> 00:01:16,388
To Pied Piper's past,
and now present CEO.

31
00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:20,325
- Oh, what about future?
- Jared, we'll worry about that later.

32
00:01:20,427 --> 00:01:22,660
Tonight it's about Richard.

33
00:01:22,762 --> 00:01:24,262
To Richard.

34
00:01:24,263 --> 00:01:34,141
www.TUSUBTITULO.com
-DIFUNDE LA CULTURA-

35
00:01:35,642 --> 00:01:38,176
I think you'll find I'm a... I'm a...
I'm a pretty tolerant boss,

36
00:01:38,278 --> 00:01:41,846
but, Gleb, your... your last commit,
you did use spaces over tabs.

37
00:01:41,948 --> 00:01:44,916
I don't know why you'd
commit to that...

38
00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:48,153
so just tell me why on earth you...
you would do something like that?

39
00:01:48,255 --> 00:01:51,222
Is not so big a deal. They're
very much the same, yes?

40
00:01:51,324 --> 00:01:53,458
Yes, yes, he's right.
They're very much the same.

41
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,726
No, no, sorry, they're...
they're not the same.

42
00:01:55,828 --> 00:01:59,749
At least, not in my book.
One is right, and the other is wrong.

43
00:01:59,949 --> 00:02:02,067
Why didn't anyone tell Gleb to use tabs?

44
00:02:02,169 --> 00:02:04,469
Yeah, we did. And it's in
the company style guide.

45
00:02:04,571 --> 00:02:08,940
I just don't think Gleb realized how
seriously Richard takes this stuff.

46
00:02:09,042 --> 00:02:11,076
Yeah, I've honestly never
understood it myself.

47
00:02:11,178 --> 00:02:13,945
I mean, once the code goes
through the compiler,

48
00:02:14,047 --> 00:02:15,513
there's effectively no difference.

49
00:02:15,615 --> 00:02:18,216
I know, but coders go,
like, batshit over it.

50
00:02:18,318 --> 00:02:23,088
At Hooli, I once saw two engineers
get into a fight so vicious,

51
00:02:23,190 --> 00:02:25,523
- they almost made physical contact.
- What?

52
00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:27,425
Okay, guys, uh, back to work.

53
00:02:27,527 --> 00:02:31,829
Gleb, Sanjay, everyone,
do you understand tabs?

54
00:02:31,931 --> 00:02:34,399
Yes, yes. You have made this
very clear as clear as crystal.

55
00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:38,303
Okay. Good, that's my little thing,
and I'll hand you back to Dinesh now.

56
00:02:38,405 --> 00:02:42,907
He's... he's the man with the
plan, and the... pretty cool tan.

57
00:02:44,311 --> 00:02:46,511
- It's not a tan, it's...
- Yeah, I know, I know.

58
00:02:46,613 --> 00:02:48,346
Sorry.

59
00:02:48,448 --> 00:02:49,680
This is how I was born.

60
00:02:49,782 --> 00:02:52,016
Hey, Elisabet? Hi.

61
00:02:52,119 --> 00:02:53,951
Before you go, I
just wanted to say that

62
00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:58,156
I thought your last commit
was very impressive.

63
00:02:59,093 --> 00:02:59,991
Thank you.

64
00:03:00,093 --> 00:03:02,927
Almost as nice as the
fingers that typed it.

65
00:03:04,331 --> 00:03:06,531
- Just call it like I see it.
- Thank you.

66
00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:11,269
Speaking of seeing, I will see...

67
00:03:11,371 --> 00:03:14,539
- you tomorrow.
- Yes. You will.

68
00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:17,475
- Bye-bye, Dinesh.
- Bye, Elisabet.

69
00:03:20,364 --> 00:03:23,148
- Yuck.
- What?

70
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:25,316
You don't actually think
she was flirting, do you?

71
00:03:25,418 --> 00:03:27,585
She works here. She's paid
to interact with you.

72
00:03:27,687 --> 00:03:30,488
Just like that bartender that Richard
thought he was flirting with.

73
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:32,624
Actually, she's not a bartender.

74
00:03:32,725 --> 00:03:35,160
And for your information,
we've been trading texts.

75
00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:38,263
And... we're going for
drinks later, so...

76
00:03:38,365 --> 00:03:41,399
Great. If you go to
the bar she works at,

77
00:03:41,501 --> 00:03:42,634
you can probably drink for free.

78
00:03:42,735 --> 00:03:45,203
Again... not a bartender.

79
00:03:45,305 --> 00:03:48,439
Okay, she works at Facebook. So she makes
a lot more money than I do or you do.

80
00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:53,211
And... she's definitely not a
founder hounder. So... sorry.

81
00:03:54,681 --> 00:03:56,181
Yeah, none of that adds up.

82
00:03:56,283 --> 00:03:58,349
Hey, guys, check out Code/Rag.

83
00:03:58,451 --> 00:03:59,884
What, did the Gavin piece post?

84
00:03:59,986 --> 00:04:02,453
Indeed it did.

85
00:04:02,556 --> 00:04:05,290
Oh, "Gavin Belson's
Hooli-Scrub Scandal."

86
00:04:05,392 --> 00:04:10,027
- Awesome.
- Man, Gavin cannot be happy about this.

87
00:04:17,787 --> 00:04:20,171
Stay close.

88
00:04:21,874 --> 00:04:23,374
Back up, back up.

89
00:04:23,476 --> 00:04:25,109
You're on private property,
back to the sidewalk.

90
00:04:25,212 --> 00:04:26,644
- You're gonna get arrested.
- Hey, Gavin!

91
00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:28,646
Hello, I'm...

92
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,083
You know, a hundred years ago,

93
00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:34,619
men like me could've had
people like that killed.

94
00:04:34,721 --> 00:04:39,390
Just like that. You think captains
of industry like Andrew Carnegie

95
00:04:39,492 --> 00:04:43,428
or Cornelius Vanderbilt would've
batted an eyelid? Please.

96
00:04:45,105 --> 00:04:47,932
Times sure have changed.

97
00:04:50,103 --> 00:04:51,369
Or have they?

98
00:04:52,972 --> 00:04:57,475
Of course they have. And for the better.

99
00:04:57,577 --> 00:04:59,577
Unless...

100
00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:03,914
All right, forget it. What are
we doing about this article?

101
00:05:04,016 --> 00:05:06,317
Can we sue this Cantwell
woman for libel?

102
00:05:06,419 --> 00:05:09,854
Gavin, libel laws don't really
apply when what's written is true.

103
00:05:09,956 --> 00:05:13,258
It's my understanding you did in
fact instruct Nucleus engineers

104
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,727
- to obscure negative Hooli-Search...
- I know what I did.

105
00:05:15,828 --> 00:05:19,365
Forget libel. What about this unnamed
Hooli insider she keeps quoting.

106
00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:22,233
Everything this person is
saying is obviously covered

107
00:05:22,335 --> 00:05:25,470
by a nondisclosure agreement.
Let's sue that person.

108
00:05:25,572 --> 00:05:27,572
We don't know who that person is.

109
00:05:27,674 --> 00:05:30,608
And reporters generally don't
give up their sources.

110
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:33,611
Well, then I'll just have to light a
fire under this reporter's ass, won't I?

111
00:05:33,713 --> 00:05:37,515
You know, there was a
time, not so long ago,

112
00:05:37,617 --> 00:05:40,885
when it could've been a literal fire.

113
00:05:42,055 --> 00:05:45,723
But as discussed, those days are gone.

114
00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:47,925
Unless...

115
00:05:49,162 --> 00:05:51,596
All right, forget it.
You people are useless.

116
00:05:51,698 --> 00:05:54,399
Thank you. You're excused.

117
00:06:01,974 --> 00:06:04,409
It's Gavin Belson for
CJ Cantwell, please.

118
00:06:04,511 --> 00:06:07,077
She'll know what it's regarding.

119
00:06:07,078 --> 00:06:08,647
T:U:S:U:B:T:I:T:U:L:O:

120
00:06:08,648 --> 00:06:11,382
Now, the stage should be here.

121
00:06:11,484 --> 00:06:14,084
With Yeezy or someone comparable.

122
00:06:14,187 --> 00:06:17,054
Now, I have yet to land on a theme.

123
00:06:17,156 --> 00:06:21,726
Most people who rent Alcatraz for parties
tend to go with the prison theme.

124
00:06:21,828 --> 00:06:25,262
How much would it
cost to make this look

125
00:06:25,365 --> 00:06:27,298
as if it were never a prison at all?

126
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,833
Spare no expense,

127
00:06:28,935 --> 00:06:30,968
and if you think it would be cool,

128
00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:34,104
I would love to have some
sort of chocolate moat here,

129
00:06:34,207 --> 00:06:38,543
with little boats floating down a field
with graham crackers and marshmallows.

130
00:06:38,645 --> 00:06:40,678
It's been a childhood dream of mine.

131
00:06:40,780 --> 00:06:43,581
And get the best chocolatier,
we want to impress.

132
00:06:43,683 --> 00:06:46,684
I'm inviting every asshole
from the Valley to attend.

133
00:06:46,786 --> 00:06:49,520
- You're inviting assholes?
- Absolutely.

134
00:06:49,622 --> 00:06:51,255
Assholes, shit dongles,

135
00:06:51,358 --> 00:06:53,558
any foe or enemy I've made

136
00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:55,660
over my storied career will be here.

137
00:06:55,762 --> 00:07:00,965
That way, when I take this stage and
unleash the power of Bachmanity,

138
00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:02,867
they'll all be in the front row.

139
00:07:02,969 --> 00:07:07,004
Erlich.. can we talk for a second?

140
00:07:07,874 --> 00:07:09,306
What is it, Big Head?
I thought I told you

141
00:07:09,409 --> 00:07:11,075
to go watch something on your iPad.

142
00:07:11,177 --> 00:07:12,543
I think we may have a problem.

143
00:07:12,645 --> 00:07:14,412
That Code/Rag reporter I talked to

144
00:07:14,514 --> 00:07:17,548
says that Gavin Belson is
threatening to sue her

145
00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:19,417
if she doesn't tell
him who she spoke to.

146
00:07:19,519 --> 00:07:22,319
- So?
- So, she spoke to me.

147
00:07:22,422 --> 00:07:25,556
No publicity is bad publicity.
This might be great timing.

148
00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:28,493
Exactly the reason that we are partners.

149
00:07:28,595 --> 00:07:32,530
Okay, yeah. Except if Gavin finds out
it was me that talked to the reporter,

150
00:07:32,632 --> 00:07:34,732
then he'll know I violated my NDA.

151
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:38,569
And then he could come after my
entire settlement if that happens.

152
00:07:38,671 --> 00:07:43,240
All two million. I mean, 20 million.

153
00:07:43,342 --> 00:07:46,110
Big Head, I'm not going to yell.

154
00:07:46,212 --> 00:07:47,978
And I'm not going to hit you.

155
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,015
I'm just gonna ask you nicely,

156
00:07:51,117 --> 00:07:55,085
why in the holy fuck didn't you
tell me you signed an NDA,

157
00:07:55,187 --> 00:07:57,822
you sweet, helpless,
little piece of shit?

158
00:07:57,924 --> 00:07:59,557
Well, that's the thing about the NDA,

159
00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:02,693
is that the NDA is actually
covered under the NDA.

160
00:08:02,796 --> 00:08:06,330
So if I told you about the NDA, it
would've been a violation of the NDA.

161
00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:09,600
And what about speaking with the
reporter? What would that be?

162
00:08:09,702 --> 00:08:13,638
Yeah. Shit.

163
00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:16,073
So, what do you think I should do?

164
00:08:16,175 --> 00:08:18,375
- I could call her back and...
- No!

165
00:08:18,478 --> 00:08:20,945
Let me handle it. You go
wait in the helicopter.

166
00:08:21,047 --> 00:08:22,413
- Go.
- Okay.

167
00:08:24,818 --> 00:08:26,951
Sasha, I'm going to need to
go back to the mainland.

168
00:08:27,053 --> 00:08:30,888
- Oh, is there a problem?
- Oh, no, no. Full steam ahead.

169
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:33,257
Mainland.

170
00:08:33,359 --> 00:08:35,526
This is an island.

171
00:08:35,628 --> 00:08:37,762
That's the theme.

172
00:08:37,864 --> 00:08:39,864
Hawaiian.

173
00:08:39,966 --> 00:08:42,633
We'll have a luau.

174
00:08:42,735 --> 00:08:47,004
Yeah, somebody called me that in high
school, and the nickname just stuck.

175
00:08:47,106 --> 00:08:51,108
- Pakistani Denzel.
- I mean, I don't see it.

176
00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:52,777
But everybody else does. So...

177
00:08:52,879 --> 00:08:56,881
Maybe they should call
him American Dinesh?

178
00:08:57,909 --> 00:08:58,683
Stop.

179
00:08:58,785 --> 00:09:00,217
Only if you stop first.

180
00:09:00,319 --> 00:09:02,186
- No, you stop first.
- You stop first.

181
00:09:02,288 --> 00:09:04,154
- You go first.
- No, I think you should.

182
00:09:04,256 --> 00:09:06,323
Okay, I'll stop. Bye.

183
00:09:06,425 --> 00:09:09,627
What's your end game here? You
think after your tired rap,

184
00:09:09,729 --> 00:09:13,330
she's going to hop on a plane,
fly halfway across the world,

185
00:09:13,432 --> 00:09:16,166
- and fuck you?
- My motivations are pure.

186
00:09:16,268 --> 00:09:18,769
Her and I have, like, a real connection.

187
00:09:18,872 --> 00:09:21,739
She's so, like, nice and
she's so down to earth,

188
00:09:21,841 --> 00:09:25,810
that it's like she has no
idea how attractive she is.

189
00:09:25,912 --> 00:09:28,112
You don't know how attractive she is.

190
00:09:28,214 --> 00:09:31,716
Packet loss over Estonian broadband
is terrible. She could be hideous.

191
00:09:31,818 --> 00:09:35,786
Well, I can't imagine that would
matter to Dinesh one iota.

192
00:09:37,189 --> 00:09:39,223
Right. Cause she's nice,

193
00:09:39,325 --> 00:09:42,226
and... very talented,
and has a great laugh.

194
00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:44,729
And with any luck, she's not a dogface.

195
00:09:45,999 --> 00:09:47,798
How was your date with Winnie?

196
00:09:49,592 --> 00:09:50,001
Well, pretty good,

197
00:09:50,102 --> 00:09:52,136
considering she's still
in the other room.

198
00:09:52,238 --> 00:09:54,271
Baller, you got lucky on the first date.

199
00:09:54,373 --> 00:09:56,807
Yeah, did a little bit... not everything.

200
00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,643
I mean, I slept in my jeans.

201
00:09:58,745 --> 00:10:01,712
Well, take your time.
Hunger is the best sauce.

202
00:10:01,814 --> 00:10:05,416
You're right. We did a
little bit of under the shirts

203
00:10:05,518 --> 00:10:09,186
and, like, finger banging. Oh, hey.

204
00:10:15,028 --> 00:10:17,261
Hey, I'm Winnie.

205
00:10:17,363 --> 00:10:19,564
- Hi, I'm Dinesh.
- Hi, I'm Jared.

206
00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:22,466
- It is an honor to meet you.
- Okay.

207
00:10:22,569 --> 00:10:26,604
- God, what a pleasure.
- Thanks.

208
00:10:26,706 --> 00:10:29,339
I'm Gilfoyle. Are you a bartender?

209
00:10:29,442 --> 00:10:32,810
- I work at Facebook.
- As a bartender?

210
00:10:32,912 --> 00:10:34,946
I had a stuffed animal named Winnie.

211
00:10:35,048 --> 00:10:37,347
- Oh, wow. - I mean, it
wasn't technically an animal,

212
00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:40,184
I took a Ziploc bag and I
stuffed it with old newspaper

213
00:10:40,286 --> 00:10:41,852
and then I... I drew a smile on it.

214
00:10:41,955 --> 00:10:44,254
Okay, well... shall we
have some coffee, my lady?

215
00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:46,591
- Sure. Let's do it.
- Okay. All right.

216
00:10:46,693 --> 00:10:51,161
We're already on to Elizabethan
nicknames. This is serious.

217
00:10:51,263 --> 00:10:54,431
- They'll be Ren Faire-ing soon.
- It's healthy.

218
00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:57,201
And now that Richard's dating,

219
00:10:57,303 --> 00:11:00,972
in solidarity, I think I
might get back out there myself.

220
00:11:01,074 --> 00:11:03,340
You make it sound like
you've chosen not to date.

221
00:11:03,442 --> 00:11:05,977
Yeah, absolutely. I wanted
to focus on Pied Piper.

222
00:11:06,079 --> 00:11:10,514
But, yeah, maybe now I'll fan
out my plumage, so to speak,

223
00:11:10,617 --> 00:11:14,051
and see what pretty birdies
might share my nest.

224
00:11:14,153 --> 00:11:17,321
Hey, Jared. If you fuck any
pretty birdies in my server room,

225
00:11:17,423 --> 00:11:19,123
put a tie on the doorknob, won't you?

226
00:11:19,225 --> 00:11:22,159
Oh, as a signal. Yeah, good thinking.

227
00:11:22,261 --> 00:11:26,330
Okay, so I'll just get the car keys and
then give you a lift home. Okay, my lady?

228
00:11:26,432 --> 00:11:28,465
- My lord.
- My lady.

229
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:32,136
Okay.

230
00:11:32,238 --> 00:11:34,839
So, Richard tells me
you guys are building

231
00:11:34,941 --> 00:11:36,473
deep nets into your platform?

232
00:11:36,575 --> 00:11:39,977
Oh, really? What other company
secrets did he blab to you?

233
00:11:40,079 --> 00:11:43,648
Well I'm a bartender, I wouldn't
understand all the science-y talk, right?

234
00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:46,817
- Touché.
- So you do AI at Facebook?

235
00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:51,088
No, but when I was at MIT, I did my
master's thesis on game playing AIs.

236
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,890
I did a lot of machine learning stuff.

237
00:11:52,992 --> 00:11:54,692
For gaming? How does that work?

238
00:11:54,794 --> 00:11:57,161
It's on my GitHub. Do you
want to check it out?

239
00:11:57,263 --> 00:11:58,996
Gavin said he was gonna
haul me into court

240
00:11:59,098 --> 00:12:03,067
and have a judge compel me to
give up my source, or go to jail.

241
00:12:03,169 --> 00:12:04,568
Okay? I am not going to jail.

242
00:12:04,671 --> 00:12:06,704
No, no one's going to jail, CJ.

243
00:12:06,806 --> 00:12:10,808
Although, if you did, going to
jail for protecting your source

244
00:12:10,910 --> 00:12:13,177
would make you some kind
of First Amendment hero.

245
00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:15,813
It's pretty much the best thing
that can happen to a journalist.

246
00:12:15,915 --> 00:12:17,481
Journalist? Okay, I'm a tech blogger.

247
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:19,817
Okay? I write stories for the
internet about the internet.

248
00:12:19,919 --> 00:12:21,786
I am not going to jail for that.

249
00:12:21,888 --> 00:12:24,188
I know it is an
inconsequential shit job.

250
00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:27,892
It doesn't really contribute to
culture in any way whatsoever.

251
00:12:27,994 --> 00:12:31,328
We've established that you don't have
any journalistic integrity,

252
00:12:31,430 --> 00:12:34,899
but what would it cost

253
00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:37,835
to buy you some?

254
00:12:40,639 --> 00:12:44,909
Then I figured out a way to train a
convolutional net to play Atari 2600 games.

255
00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:47,178
What?

256
00:12:47,279 --> 00:12:51,148
- Spaces.
- Yeah, so what, you guys use tabs?

257
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,649
In this house, yes.

258
00:12:52,752 --> 00:12:57,154
Richard is a bit of a zealot in
the Tabs V. Spaces holy war.

259
00:12:57,256 --> 00:12:59,223
I get that, for his company. Sure.

260
00:12:59,325 --> 00:13:00,958
This goes much deeper.

261
00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:04,461
I think he believes that people
who use spaces are less than.

262
00:13:05,798 --> 00:13:07,598
I wouldn't mention this to Richard.

263
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,200
You don't want to see
him throw a hissy fit.

264
00:13:09,301 --> 00:13:11,468
Okay. Shall we away, my lady?

265
00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:15,873
- Nice to meet you guys.
- Have fun.

266
00:13:16,643 --> 00:13:19,343
- Bye.
- Bye.

267
00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:21,378
I actually kind of liked her.

268
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,747
Too bad Richard's going to fuck it up.

269
00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:26,183
So, you moved the swimming pool?

270
00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:30,888
Yeah, it just felt like it was way too
far from the house, like, crazy far.

271
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:33,624
So I had this company come
and just move it closer.

272
00:13:34,602 --> 00:13:37,461
But then you moved it back?

273
00:13:37,563 --> 00:13:40,497
Yeah, turns out the guy who built this
place knew exactly what he was doing,

274
00:13:40,599 --> 00:13:44,601
and the pool was right where it
needed to be the whole time.

275
00:13:44,703 --> 00:13:47,304
But now I know that for
sure, which feels good.

276
00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:50,107
Nelson, do you like being wealthy?

277
00:13:50,209 --> 00:13:51,876
Yeah. Oh, man, it's awesome.

278
00:13:51,978 --> 00:13:53,477
So you want to stay wealthy?

279
00:13:53,579 --> 00:13:55,512
- Okay, yeah, sure.
- Great.

280
00:13:55,614 --> 00:13:58,015
Here are the three things
you need to do, all right?

281
00:13:58,117 --> 00:14:00,951
One, stop moving the swimming pool.

282
00:14:01,053 --> 00:14:03,020
Oh, yeah, okay, I can
do that. What else?

283
00:14:03,122 --> 00:14:07,391
Two, you need to manage your
expenses and track your receipts

284
00:14:07,493 --> 00:14:10,895
a little bit better than... this.

285
00:14:10,997 --> 00:14:13,230
I'm only as good as the
information I have.

286
00:14:13,332 --> 00:14:15,966
- Oh, you're great. - No, I wasn't
fishing for compliments.

287
00:14:16,068 --> 00:14:20,704
And three, I sense that people
are taking advantage of you.

288
00:14:20,807 --> 00:14:23,073
Sorry, hold on.

289
00:14:23,176 --> 00:14:24,875
Oh, it's Erlich, I should
probably grab this.

290
00:14:24,977 --> 00:14:26,977
Erlich Bachman, a perfect example.

291
00:14:27,079 --> 00:14:30,047
You gave him signing power on
your personal checking account?

292
00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:31,782
Yeah, he's my business partner.

293
00:14:31,884 --> 00:14:34,751
You're not structured as a corporation.
You're a general partnership.

294
00:14:34,854 --> 00:14:37,354
So he's essentially your spouse.

295
00:14:37,456 --> 00:14:39,824
- That's very dangerous.
- But I trust him.

296
00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:44,728
He's actually trying to save us money
right now, so hold... hold on.

297
00:14:44,831 --> 00:14:45,729
Hey, man.

298
00:14:45,832 --> 00:14:47,631
Big Head, wondrous news.

299
00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:50,500
I eliminated the Gavin problem,
and at the exact same time,

300
00:14:50,602 --> 00:14:54,038
I closed funding on our
first strategic investment.

301
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:56,440
We bought a blog.

302
00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:58,809
Oh, cool. How much do blogs cost?

303
00:14:58,911 --> 00:15:00,344
- What?
- Oh, nothing.

304
00:15:00,446 --> 00:15:01,745
We practically stole it from them.

305
00:15:01,848 --> 00:15:05,182
- What?
- I'm bullshitting.

306
00:15:05,284 --> 00:15:06,683
Half a million dollars.

307
00:15:06,785 --> 00:15:07,852
Let me talk to him, please.

308
00:15:07,954 --> 00:15:09,119
Hey, Erlich,

309
00:15:09,222 --> 00:15:10,254
could you talk to...

310
00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:11,722
my business manager for a second.

311
00:15:11,824 --> 00:15:14,392
No, I've got to jet, but tell him
I'll see him at the party.

312
00:15:14,393 --> 00:15:15,592
Good day, partner.

313
00:15:15,694 --> 00:15:17,661
Okay, cool.

314
00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:19,796
About the blog...

315
00:15:19,899 --> 00:15:21,832
- 500 grand.
- Oh, God.

316
00:15:21,934 --> 00:15:23,934
I know, we practically stole it, right?

317
00:15:24,036 --> 00:15:27,271
Your roommates are
really funny. I like them.

318
00:15:27,373 --> 00:15:28,772
They gave me a little shit.

319
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:31,108
Oh, well, you can't
take that personally.

320
00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:33,344
Oh, it's fine. They gave you shit too.

321
00:15:33,445 --> 00:15:36,413
Oh, really? What about,
like my hair or something?

322
00:15:36,515 --> 00:15:40,851
No. They tried to convince me you
were some sort of formatting Nazi

323
00:15:40,953 --> 00:15:43,220
about tabs versus spaces.

324
00:15:44,113 --> 00:15:47,024
What? Me? Nazi?

325
00:15:47,126 --> 00:15:48,759
That's ridiculous.

326
00:15:48,861 --> 00:15:51,661
That's what I said, I mean,
I use spaces. So what?

327
00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:54,932
Yeah, so what?

328
00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:57,401
See, they said you'd have a
hissy fit if you found out.

329
00:15:58,275 --> 00:15:59,636
Hissy fit, me? No.

330
00:15:59,738 --> 00:16:02,406
- I know.
- You know. I know.

331
00:16:02,508 --> 00:16:05,943
I mean, make up your mind, guys, am I a
Nazi or am I a guy who throws hissy fits?

332
00:16:06,045 --> 00:16:08,078
You know? Am I a Nazi
who throws hissy fits?

333
00:16:08,180 --> 00:16:10,381
I hope not. That was Hitler.
That was like his whole deal.

334
00:16:10,482 --> 00:16:12,783
I mean, that's pretty insensitive
to the Holocaust, don't you think?

335
00:16:12,885 --> 00:16:15,619
Cause that's, like, what Hitler
did, you know, he just, like,

336
00:16:15,721 --> 00:16:18,422
killed so many people, so
tragic, such a tragic time.

337
00:16:18,524 --> 00:16:20,524
- Yeah. - I'm so glad we're
not doing that anymore. - No.

338
00:16:20,626 --> 00:16:23,460
I mean, we, like I... like
I was, you know...!

339
00:16:23,562 --> 00:16:25,930
I want them all to die.
I don't, I don't care.

340
00:16:26,032 --> 00:16:29,400
I mean, I do care, don't... don't
kill them... them... Jews.

341
00:16:29,501 --> 00:16:32,569
Anyway, what do you want to...
what do you want to order here?

342
00:16:34,173 --> 00:16:38,008
- Is that our P-to-P protocol?
- Yeah, I'm just hacking for fun.

343
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:40,877
I figured out a way to use our
compression for RTC, so...

344
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:43,914
- Video chat? - Yeah. I think it
could be better resolution

345
00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:46,016
than Hooli-Chat. Even over 3G.

346
00:16:46,118 --> 00:16:49,019
It could just be like a fun, cool
feature in the platform, you know.

347
00:16:49,121 --> 00:16:51,721
And then coincidentally
you'll finally be able to see

348
00:16:51,824 --> 00:16:53,790
what Elisabet actually looks like.

349
00:16:53,892 --> 00:16:56,026
Oh, yeah.

350
00:16:56,128 --> 00:16:57,594
I hadn't thought of that.

351
00:16:57,696 --> 00:16:59,496
If you worked half as
hard on the platform

352
00:16:59,598 --> 00:17:01,731
as you do trying to ogle
strange Slavic women,

353
00:17:01,834 --> 00:17:04,734
maybe our shares would
finally be worth something.

354
00:17:04,837 --> 00:17:07,438
Hey...

355
00:17:07,539 --> 00:17:10,407
what the hell was that?

356
00:17:10,607 --> 00:17:14,032
~T~U~S~U~B~T~I~T~U~L~O

357
00:17:14,347 --> 00:17:16,246
Can you give us slightly more, Richard?

358
00:17:16,349 --> 00:17:19,116
Why did you tell Winnie

359
00:17:19,218 --> 00:17:24,088
that I think people who use
spaces over tabs are stupid?

360
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,123
- Because you do.
- No, I don't.

361
00:17:26,225 --> 00:17:27,791
And if I did, which I don't,

362
00:17:27,893 --> 00:17:29,926
why would you say that
behind my back, to her?

363
00:17:30,029 --> 00:17:33,230
I mean, things were just
going so well, until she...

364
00:17:33,632 --> 00:17:37,201
Yeah. That was completely lovely.

365
00:17:37,303 --> 00:17:39,769
- Yeah, it was really nice.
- You're really something.

366
00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:41,938
- I'll give you a call later, okay?
- Okay, cool, yeah.

367
00:17:42,041 --> 00:17:45,242
Great, sounds good. Bye, Jared.

368
00:17:45,344 --> 00:17:47,311
Bye.

369
00:18:02,328 --> 00:18:03,360
Jared?

370
00:18:03,462 --> 00:18:04,728
Yeah?

371
00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:06,196
Who was that?

372
00:18:06,298 --> 00:18:08,632
Oh, that was Carol.

373
00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:14,438
So... Jared, did...

374
00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:16,873
did you just have sex with her?

375
00:18:19,845 --> 00:18:21,845
What? I'm an adult,

376
00:18:21,947 --> 00:18:25,416
and like the rest of
you, I'm a sexual being.

377
00:18:25,518 --> 00:18:27,251
You fucked her in the garage?

378
00:18:27,353 --> 00:18:30,587
Well, it's the server
room and my bedroom.

379
00:18:30,689 --> 00:18:34,358
What, so you just meet a woman,

380
00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:37,027
and then you have sex with her?

381
00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:40,564
How often does this happen?

382
00:18:40,666 --> 00:18:42,632
Well, if you're asking me how many times

383
00:18:42,734 --> 00:18:45,569
I've been in love, the answer is two.

384
00:18:45,671 --> 00:18:49,706
But the rest I won't talk about.
It's untoward.

385
00:18:49,808 --> 00:18:53,043
Russ was right, this guy fucks.

386
00:18:53,145 --> 00:18:55,979
Who was that gorgeous
gazelle in the driveway?

387
00:18:56,082 --> 00:18:58,715
Well, I've said all I
care to, let's move on.

388
00:18:58,817 --> 00:19:00,917
She let Jared have sex with her.

389
00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:04,721
Jared, nice. Using that dick.

390
00:19:04,823 --> 00:19:07,891
Gents, I'd like to invite you

391
00:19:07,993 --> 00:19:13,863
to what promises to be the
social event of the season.

392
00:19:13,966 --> 00:19:17,101
Bachmanity Insanity.

393
00:19:17,795 --> 00:19:19,035
Alcatraz?

394
00:19:19,138 --> 00:19:21,405
Don't worry, it will be unrecognizable.

395
00:19:21,507 --> 00:19:25,209
Jared, with regards to the...
you need a plus one?

396
00:19:25,311 --> 00:19:28,579
Oh, no thank you. I think
it's too early for that.

397
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,649
Good idea. Don't bring sand to the
beach, there's already pussy there.

398
00:19:32,751 --> 00:19:36,253
Richard, I assume you'll be
taking your woman friend?

399
00:19:36,355 --> 00:19:40,023
You know what? Yes. She and
I will be there together.

400
00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:41,658
I'm going to make this work,

401
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,829
despite all your little attempts
to sabotage my relationship.

402
00:19:45,931 --> 00:19:48,798
You can do anything you put
your mind to, Richard.

403
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:52,969
Including turning Alcatraz into Hawaii.

404
00:20:03,849 --> 00:20:05,582
You okay?

405
00:20:05,684 --> 00:20:09,520
Yeah. Yeah, all good. Great.

406
00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:14,191
- You know...
- What?

407
00:20:14,293 --> 00:20:16,560
My roommate's going
out of town tomorrow,

408
00:20:16,662 --> 00:20:19,596
so if we want to come back
here after Erlich's party...

409
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,867
Okay, yeah. Sure,
that sounds good to me.

410
00:20:23,969 --> 00:20:28,104
- All right, it's a date.
- See you then.

411
00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:42,018
Richard, what's wrong?

412
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:45,455
Nothing. Nothing,
literally it's all good.

413
00:20:49,428 --> 00:20:50,694
Come on.

414
00:20:50,796 --> 00:20:51,995
Oh, my God! I'm sorry.

415
00:20:52,097 --> 00:20:53,263
Your roommates were right,

416
00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:54,998
- you really hate spaces.
- No, no, no.

417
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:57,033
I don't, it's not hate,
hate's a strong word.

418
00:20:57,135 --> 00:21:01,071
Truth be told, I do have a
slight preference for tabs.

419
00:21:01,173 --> 00:21:05,775
But that's only because I'm
anal and because I prefer...

420
00:21:05,877 --> 00:21:08,645
precision.

421
00:21:08,747 --> 00:21:10,714
Well, not to pick a fight here,

422
00:21:10,816 --> 00:21:14,318
but if you really care about
precision, wouldn't you use spaces?

423
00:21:15,251 --> 00:21:16,286
But whatever.

424
00:21:16,388 --> 00:21:19,824
Once it goes through the compiler,
it's the same thing. Right?

425
00:21:19,825 --> 00:21:22,526
Yeah. Yeah, technically yes.

426
00:21:27,566 --> 00:21:30,467
I guess, I just... I just
don't understand why you...

427
00:21:30,569 --> 00:21:32,001
anyone would use spaces over tabs.

428
00:21:32,104 --> 00:21:35,138
Like, if it's all the same,
why not just use tabs?

429
00:21:35,241 --> 00:21:37,708
Because it could look different
on other people's computers.

430
00:21:37,809 --> 00:21:40,176
Tabs create smaller
file sizes, all right?

431
00:21:40,279 --> 00:21:41,778
I run a compression company, trust me,

432
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,180
I've devoted my life to
minimalizing file sizes.

433
00:21:44,283 --> 00:21:47,684
It's what I do. I mean,
I do not get why anyone

434
00:21:47,786 --> 00:21:49,720
would use spaces over tabs.

435
00:21:49,821 --> 00:21:52,522
I mean, why not just use Vim over Emacs?

436
00:21:52,625 --> 00:21:55,692
- I do use Vim over Emac.
- Oh, God, help us!

437
00:21:55,794 --> 00:21:57,994
Oka... you know what?

438
00:21:58,096 --> 00:22:00,364
I just... I don't think this is
going to work. I'm so sorry.

439
00:22:00,466 --> 00:22:03,760
I mean like, what, we're going
to bring kids into this world

440
00:22:03,761 --> 00:22:05,835
with that over their heads? That's not
really fair to them, don't you think?

441
00:22:05,937 --> 00:22:07,904
Kids? We haven't even slept together.

442
00:22:08,006 --> 00:22:09,539
And guess what, it's never
going to happen now,

443
00:22:09,642 --> 00:22:12,041
because there is no way I'm
going to be with someone

444
00:22:12,144 --> 00:22:15,111
who uses spaces over tabs.

445
00:22:16,148 --> 00:22:18,214
Richard!

446
00:22:21,158 --> 00:22:24,020
Okay. Goodbye.

447
00:22:24,122 --> 00:22:29,393
One tab saves you eight spaces!

448
00:22:34,497 --> 00:22:35,332
Oh, my God!

449
00:22:35,434 --> 00:22:36,966
Richard, what happened?

450
00:22:37,068 --> 00:22:41,004
I just tried to go down the
stairs eight steps at a time.

451
00:22:41,106 --> 00:22:42,539
I'm okay, though.

452
00:22:42,641 --> 00:22:44,408
See you around, Richard.

453
00:22:44,510 --> 00:22:47,210
Just making a point.

454
00:22:58,424 --> 00:23:02,926
This new video chat protocol is
making your image crystal clear.

455
00:23:03,028 --> 00:23:05,094
Wait... wait one second, Dinesh.

456
00:23:05,197 --> 00:23:07,631
Dinesh, I can't see
you, it's all black.

457
00:23:07,733 --> 00:23:10,334
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
give the camera permission

458
00:23:10,436 --> 00:23:13,537
to access the video chat, hold on.

459
00:23:13,639 --> 00:23:17,240
- Boom!
- Yes! I can... see you now.

460
00:23:17,343 --> 00:23:20,811
It's me! Pakistani Denzel!

461
00:23:22,047 --> 00:23:25,782
Yes! The Denzel who is from Pakistan.

462
00:23:25,884 --> 00:23:29,986
This video quality is great,
right? Looks so sharp.

463
00:23:30,088 --> 00:23:33,724
That's what we do here at Pied Piper.

464
00:23:33,826 --> 00:23:37,427
It... it's very impressive.

465
00:23:38,478 --> 00:23:42,232
I will have to tell my
boyfriend all about it.

466
00:23:42,334 --> 00:23:46,002
Boyfriend? You never
mentioned a boyfriend.

467
00:23:46,104 --> 00:23:47,671
Oh, no?

468
00:23:47,773 --> 00:23:50,874
This is because he's now just husband.

469
00:23:51,813 --> 00:23:54,143
I keep forgetting
to say this, husband,

470
00:23:54,246 --> 00:23:57,447
but it is very good to see you this way,

471
00:23:57,549 --> 00:24:00,049
and we will talk more tomorrow.

472
00:24:00,151 --> 00:24:02,753
Yeah, we'll talk...

473
00:24:04,256 --> 00:24:08,458
Either she froze time,

474
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,561
met and married the man of her dreams,

475
00:24:11,663 --> 00:24:15,999
unfroze time, and hopped back
on to vid chat with you,

476
00:24:16,101 --> 00:24:20,637
or... you're the dogface.

477
00:24:21,510 --> 00:24:24,841
Which do you think it is?
I'm on the fence.

478
00:24:24,943 --> 00:24:27,310
What the fuck is going on?
Richard found a girl,

479
00:24:27,413 --> 00:24:32,248
you have a girlfriend, Jared
is getting laid with a girl.

480
00:24:37,122 --> 00:24:38,855
Hi, Mom.

481
00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:45,750
BACHMANITY INSANITY!

482
00:25:00,946 --> 00:25:04,448
Oh, God. Winnie, Winnie,
Winnie, Winnie, Winnie.

483
00:25:04,550 --> 00:25:08,084
Sweet, sweet Elisabet.

484
00:25:08,186 --> 00:25:10,803
Gentlemen, mahalo for coming.

485
00:25:10,804 --> 00:25:14,691
You must taste the breaded
humuhumunukunukuapua'a,

486
00:25:14,793 --> 00:25:17,193
flown in fresh this a.m.

487
00:25:17,295 --> 00:25:20,597
- What is mumu...
- It's breaded.

488
00:25:20,699 --> 00:25:24,200
Get ready. In T-minus five minutes,

489
00:25:24,302 --> 00:25:26,436
Big Head and I are going
to take that stage

490
00:25:26,538 --> 00:25:31,274
and I am going to ejaculate
my success all over the faces

491
00:25:31,376 --> 00:25:33,009
and hair of my fiercest rivals.

492
00:25:33,111 --> 00:25:37,981
Like some sort of vengeful
viscous web of payback.

493
00:25:38,083 --> 00:25:40,584
- Erlich?
- Yes. One moment.

494
00:25:40,686 --> 00:25:44,387
Sasha, you are doing an
exceptional job. I mean,

495
00:25:44,490 --> 00:25:47,757
I see... I see no evidence
that we are not in Hawaii.

496
00:25:48,945 --> 00:25:50,226
We have a problem.

497
00:25:50,328 --> 00:25:54,030
Just several of our vendors are
saying that your checks have bounced.

498
00:25:54,031 --> 00:25:58,022
_T_U_S_U_B_T_I_T_U_L_O

499
00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:01,571
Sasha... I'll be back.

500
00:26:01,673 --> 00:26:04,173
Big Head, Big Head. Why
are our checks bouncing?

501
00:26:04,275 --> 00:26:08,645
If you had responded to any of my phone
calls, I would've explained it to you.

502
00:26:08,747 --> 00:26:10,079
Who the fuck are you?

503
00:26:10,763 --> 00:26:14,551
Erlich this is my
business manager, Arthur...

504
00:26:14,653 --> 00:26:17,554
- Klaiman. - Klaiman. I knew it
was something with Clay.

505
00:26:17,656 --> 00:26:20,156
As I was explaining to Mr. Bighetti,

506
00:26:20,258 --> 00:26:23,994
I've finally managed to get
a handle on his finances.

507
00:26:24,095 --> 00:26:26,897
Our finances. Continue.

508
00:26:26,999 --> 00:26:31,034
After your considerable
outlay on lifestyle,

509
00:26:31,136 --> 00:26:34,504
this party and half a million
dollars on a website,

510
00:26:34,606 --> 00:26:39,042
you're functionally insolvent.

511
00:26:39,144 --> 00:26:41,177
Big Head, you're broke?

512
00:26:41,279 --> 00:26:42,612
We're broke, dude.

513
00:26:42,714 --> 00:26:44,280
Erlich, it's time.

514
00:26:44,382 --> 00:26:47,951
You have my number. I left
it on your voicemail.

515
00:26:48,053 --> 00:26:49,485
Several times.

516
00:26:49,588 --> 00:26:51,287
Titans of the tech world,

517
00:26:51,389 --> 00:26:54,691
I give you Nelson
Bighetti, Erlich Bachman,

518
00:26:54,793 --> 00:27:00,229
and Bachmanity!

519
00:27:11,977 --> 00:27:13,409
Aloha.

520
00:27:15,581 --> 00:27:18,949
That means hello.

521
00:27:19,051 --> 00:27:20,584
Oh, and goodbye.

522
00:27:20,585 --> 00:28:29,457
www.TUSUBTITULO.com
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