1 00:00:05,186 --> 00:00:07,687 You wish to acquire a company called Sliceline? 2 00:00:07,937 --> 00:00:10,144 I will be taking on a total engineering team 3 00:00:10,228 --> 00:00:11,228 of about 50. 4 00:00:11,728 --> 00:00:13,728 I just have to go back into my office. 5 00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,311 Well we thought the best way to introduce the PiperNet 6 00:00:22,395 --> 00:00:24,395 would be through the eight developers. 7 00:00:24,478 --> 00:00:26,358 I have been cooking up a killer new game. 8 00:00:26,395 --> 00:00:27,645 The Gates of Galloo. 9 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,311 We put this thing on PiperNet... 10 00:00:29,395 --> 00:00:31,728 Bam, 80,000 instant users. 11 00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:34,311 Partnering with a company of that size, 12 00:00:34,395 --> 00:00:36,019 this early, would put us months ahead. 13 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,436 Knock 'em dead, Richard. 14 00:00:39,186 --> 00:00:41,895 Whatever you are doing, stop it now. 15 00:00:43,436 --> 00:00:46,269 Um, yeah, we're just high-fiving. 16 00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:47,770 Bye. 17 00:00:47,978 --> 00:00:51,019 You need to make a deal with my companies. 18 00:00:51,353 --> 00:00:53,895 Taking existing companies and just calling them new 19 00:00:53,978 --> 00:00:55,687 isn't sophisticated, that's theft. 20 00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:57,812 So they're manufacturing phones 21 00:00:57,895 --> 00:00:59,162 and signing them onto our network. 22 00:00:59,186 --> 00:01:00,329 Why would they wanna help us? 23 00:01:00,353 --> 00:01:02,228 They're not helping us, they're attacking us. 24 00:01:02,311 --> 00:01:04,353 - It's the 51 percent attack. - I'm sorry, what? 25 00:01:04,436 --> 00:01:06,978 A 51 percent... 26 00:01:10,019 --> 00:01:11,395 We've been exploring the viability 27 00:01:11,478 --> 00:01:12,812 of an acquisition with Amazon. 28 00:01:12,895 --> 00:01:14,978 You expect me to work for Jeff Bezos? 29 00:01:15,144 --> 00:01:16,144 No way. 30 00:01:16,228 --> 00:01:18,728 I happen to know that they fucked you over. 31 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,245 How would you like to fuck them back? 32 00:01:20,269 --> 00:01:21,645 I need you to attack me. 33 00:01:21,728 --> 00:01:23,645 - A second attack. - Yes. 34 00:01:24,978 --> 00:01:26,978 Boom, you just got 80,000 new users. 35 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,395 Colin, you did it, you saved us. 36 00:01:29,645 --> 00:01:31,436 Gilfoyle, the patch. 37 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:32,561 Bombs away. 38 00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:37,144 Oh, my God. These are our new offices? 39 00:01:37,228 --> 00:01:38,770 We're actually right through here. 40 00:01:40,478 --> 00:01:41,561 What do you guys think? 41 00:01:41,645 --> 00:01:42,995 Do you want to see the second floor? 42 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,937 There's another floor? Okay. 43 00:01:48,228 --> 00:01:49,228 Whoa. 44 00:01:49,645 --> 00:01:51,728 I know, it's exciting, right? 45 00:02:05,269 --> 00:02:07,812 Here we are, right here to the left. 46 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,103 I like your tie. 47 00:02:10,186 --> 00:02:12,770 Oh, thank you. I tied it myself. 48 00:02:12,853 --> 00:02:14,269 Oh... 49 00:02:14,353 --> 00:02:16,353 Okay. Well, good luck. 50 00:02:39,728 --> 00:02:41,645 Mr. Hendricks, thank you for being here. 51 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,478 For the last three hours, we've been asking 52 00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,478 some prominent members of your industry 53 00:02:45,561 --> 00:02:48,228 questions about the security of their users' data. 54 00:02:48,311 --> 00:02:51,520 And while the gentlemen from Facebook, Google, and Amazon 55 00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,937 have acknowledged some egregious lapses in the past... 56 00:02:54,019 --> 00:02:55,978 And Hooli, sir. Hooli also acknowledged 57 00:02:56,061 --> 00:02:58,311 some spectacular lapses. 58 00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,853 Yes. 59 00:02:59,937 --> 00:03:01,353 As I was saying, 60 00:03:01,436 --> 00:03:03,770 these fine folks have been assuring us all that 61 00:03:03,853 --> 00:03:05,561 their oversights are behind them, 62 00:03:05,645 --> 00:03:07,103 and that they are the best people 63 00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:08,978 to protect their users' privacy. 64 00:03:09,061 --> 00:03:11,269 But my colleague, Senator Shizaki 65 00:03:11,353 --> 00:03:13,061 of the great state of Hawaii, 66 00:03:13,144 --> 00:03:15,770 suggested that you might have a different view. 67 00:03:16,019 --> 00:03:16,895 Senator? 68 00:03:16,978 --> 00:03:18,687 Thank you, Chairman Hubbard. 69 00:03:18,770 --> 00:03:21,520 Mr. Hendricks and his company, Pied Piper, 70 00:03:21,603 --> 00:03:23,687 are developing a pilot program to deliver 71 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,687 wireless Internet to my constituents 72 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,687 on the island of Maui. 73 00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:30,269 I have asked him to deliver a statement here today. 74 00:03:30,853 --> 00:03:32,603 Mr. Hendricks? 75 00:03:33,478 --> 00:03:34,937 Yes. 76 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,269 Mr. Hendricks, now would be the time for that statement. 77 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,687 Okay. 78 00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:43,061 I probably should've gotten these out before. 79 00:03:43,144 --> 00:03:46,061 He looks like a child in a custody hearing. 80 00:03:46,144 --> 00:03:47,895 But, like, you don't feel sorry for him. 81 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,561 You just want him to go away 82 00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:52,245 and not have any parents at all. 83 00:03:52,311 --> 00:03:55,144 Hello, I am Richard Hendricks, CEO of Pied Piper. 84 00:03:55,228 --> 00:03:56,395 There you go. 85 00:03:56,478 --> 00:03:58,436 - Eye contact. - I'm proud to tell you 86 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,395 that we are working with Senator Shizaki... 87 00:04:00,478 --> 00:04:01,913 - Good. - On developing the first step 88 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,561 in providing a new type of Internet 89 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,728 to the world. Oh... 90 00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:08,978 Hold on. 91 00:04:09,061 --> 00:04:10,436 Uh, basically, 92 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,478 it-it is a program... 93 00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:15,436 that i-i-it's kinda... 94 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,228 Actually, can I pace? I-I just think better on my feet. 95 00:04:19,311 --> 00:04:21,603 So, a lot of people... 96 00:04:21,687 --> 00:04:23,603 Mr. Hendricks! 97 00:04:23,687 --> 00:04:25,645 Speak into the machine! 98 00:04:26,812 --> 00:04:28,311 Oh! Okay. 99 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,019 I'm sorry. Does this come out? 100 00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,561 Perfect. 101 00:04:34,645 --> 00:04:36,120 - Fuck. - Okay, so, 102 00:04:36,144 --> 00:04:38,269 these people up here, right? 103 00:04:38,353 --> 00:04:41,353 You want to rein them in, but you can't. 104 00:04:42,019 --> 00:04:46,770 Uh, Facebook owns 80% of mobile social traffic. 105 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:49,978 Google owns 92% of search, 106 00:04:50,061 --> 00:04:51,520 and Amazon Web Services 107 00:04:51,603 --> 00:04:55,937 is bigger than their next four competitors combined. 108 00:04:56,019 --> 00:04:57,436 And they will be even more robust 109 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:58,978 once the Hooli merger is complete. 110 00:04:59,061 --> 00:05:01,311 Ah, see! Look, there! 111 00:05:01,395 --> 00:05:03,436 Even Hooli can't survive these monopolies. 112 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,770 No one can! 113 00:05:05,853 --> 00:05:08,103 They track our every move, 114 00:05:08,186 --> 00:05:11,186 they monitor every moment in our lives, 115 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:14,311 and-and they exploit our data for profit. 116 00:05:14,895 --> 00:05:17,853 And you can ask them all the questions you want, 117 00:05:17,937 --> 00:05:20,978 but they're not gonna change, they don't have to. 118 00:05:21,061 --> 00:05:23,269 These companies are kings, 119 00:05:23,353 --> 00:05:25,269 and they rule over kingdoms far larger 120 00:05:25,353 --> 00:05:28,019 than any nation in human history. 121 00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:30,687 They won, we lost. 122 00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:32,645 So, why are you here? 123 00:05:32,728 --> 00:05:34,978 Because look at where we are. 124 00:05:35,061 --> 00:05:37,770 - Yeah? We are in the seat of the US government... - Mr. Hendricks? 125 00:05:37,853 --> 00:05:38,978 I'm okay. I've got it now. 126 00:05:39,061 --> 00:05:41,144 We are in the seat of the US government, 127 00:05:41,228 --> 00:05:43,978 a government that was founded by people 128 00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:47,436 who were, at one point, ruled by kings they couldn't overthrow. 129 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,520 So, what did they do, right? They started over. 130 00:05:49,603 --> 00:05:51,395 They came here, to the New World. 131 00:05:51,478 --> 00:05:54,978 World 2.0, version 1776. 132 00:05:55,603 --> 00:05:56,728 And the way we win 133 00:05:56,812 --> 00:05:59,728 is by creating a new, 134 00:05:59,812 --> 00:06:02,395 democratic, decentralized Internet, 135 00:06:02,478 --> 00:06:06,144 one where the behavior of companies like this 136 00:06:06,228 --> 00:06:09,103 will be impossible, forever. 137 00:06:09,186 --> 00:06:11,353 One where it is the users, 138 00:06:11,436 --> 00:06:12,812 not the kings, 139 00:06:12,895 --> 00:06:14,978 who have sovereign control over their data. 140 00:06:15,061 --> 00:06:17,853 THIS, I PROMISE TO YOU: I will help you end this tyranny 141 00:06:17,937 --> 00:06:21,061 by building an Internet that is 142 00:06:21,144 --> 00:06:24,019 of the people, by the people, and for the people, 143 00:06:24,103 --> 00:06:25,311 so help me God. 144 00:06:27,728 --> 00:06:29,770 Yeah! 145 00:06:29,853 --> 00:06:31,728 Whoo! 146 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,687 Whoa! 147 00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:54,353 No, Mike, I just... 148 00:06:54,436 --> 00:06:56,228 - Huh? There he is! - Uh... 149 00:06:56,311 --> 00:06:57,728 King slayer! How was it? 150 00:06:57,812 --> 00:06:59,561 - Good. I-I... I, um... - You can go. 151 00:06:59,645 --> 00:07:01,788 - I got it... - Yeah, I mean, I think it went pretty well. 152 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,103 I mean, you saw it, right? 153 00:07:03,186 --> 00:07:04,561 Of course, but I-I-I want to hear 154 00:07:04,645 --> 00:07:06,978 you tell me everything, every detail. 155 00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:08,937 Holden... 156 00:07:09,019 --> 00:07:11,770 The man just got off the plane, give him some space! 157 00:07:13,978 --> 00:07:15,311 Jesus... 158 00:07:15,395 --> 00:07:17,937 Okay, so you touch down at Dulles, 159 00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:19,853 you turn off airplane mode, and then... 160 00:07:19,937 --> 00:07:21,937 Well, actually, we flew through Reagan National. 161 00:07:23,103 --> 00:07:25,103 Reagan? But you love trams. 162 00:07:25,186 --> 00:07:26,478 Well... 163 00:07:26,561 --> 00:07:28,761 See, this is why I should still be handling your travel. 164 00:07:28,812 --> 00:07:30,537 Oh, don't worry about it, Jared, you're busy. 165 00:07:30,561 --> 00:07:32,103 I'm never too busy for you. 166 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:35,103 - But let's... let's not get caught up in that, right? - Right. 167 00:07:35,186 --> 00:07:39,061 We're here now, and we're walking, 168 00:07:39,144 --> 00:07:41,019 and we're talking. 169 00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:42,978 I mean, take it all in, my friend. 170 00:07:43,061 --> 00:07:44,395 Look at all this. 171 00:07:44,478 --> 00:07:47,687 Can you believe we began our journey way back... 172 00:07:47,770 --> 00:07:49,436 in that little living room 173 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,103 in the hostel? 174 00:07:51,186 --> 00:07:54,478 And just yesterday, you addressed our nation's most 175 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,645 hallowed, powerful legi... 176 00:07:56,728 --> 00:08:00,395 Surprise! 177 00:08:04,812 --> 00:08:07,687 Anyway, like I was saying out there, 178 00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:10,311 we started out in that little hostel, just a couple of kids. 179 00:08:10,395 --> 00:08:12,478 - Yeah. - Right? 180 00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,311 - And now... - You killed it, Richard! 181 00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:16,895 Way to punch big tech in the dick! 182 00:08:16,978 --> 00:08:18,520 I was just gonna say, 183 00:08:18,603 --> 00:08:21,770 let's... let's take a moment to let it soak in, right? 184 00:08:21,853 --> 00:08:24,061 - Look what you've built! - Uh-huh. 185 00:08:24,144 --> 00:08:27,228 Okay, I'll let you go now! Enjoy the party! 186 00:08:28,228 --> 00:08:30,687 Your compression algorithm was the stardust! 187 00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:34,228 Hey, Richard! Richard! 188 00:08:34,311 --> 00:08:36,144 Come here. 189 00:08:36,228 --> 00:08:37,228 Stand here. 190 00:08:37,269 --> 00:08:40,520 Congratulations from Team Dinesh! 191 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,186 Yeah. 192 00:08:52,937 --> 00:08:54,687 Okay, um... 193 00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:56,186 Congratulations. 194 00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:01,687 Uh... 195 00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:08,311 Uh, "You..." 196 00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:09,728 licked ass?" 197 00:09:09,812 --> 00:09:11,853 - What? - "You dicked ass"? 198 00:09:11,937 --> 00:09:14,186 - I-I dicked ass? - Kicked ass! 199 00:09:14,269 --> 00:09:15,269 - Kicked! - Oh. 200 00:09:15,311 --> 00:09:16,853 Why were those your first two guesses? 201 00:09:16,937 --> 00:09:18,687 Gabe, what the fuck?! 202 00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:20,579 - You're the K! Where's the K? - K's right there. 203 00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,061 - Kicked has two Ks! - Hey. 204 00:09:23,144 --> 00:09:24,603 - Ha. - That's for you. 205 00:09:24,687 --> 00:09:26,687 Oh, uh, I'm trying to get some work done today. 206 00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:28,645 I-I just wanted to toast. 207 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,520 Okay. So... 208 00:09:31,186 --> 00:09:32,561 Don't worry, it's short. 209 00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:33,853 The word companion 210 00:09:33,937 --> 00:09:35,770 derives from the Latin word 211 00:09:35,853 --> 00:09:37,645 "panis" for bread, 212 00:09:37,728 --> 00:09:39,812 and while I can no longer digest bread, 213 00:09:39,895 --> 00:09:42,645 - I know that you leaven my life... - Richard! 214 00:09:42,728 --> 00:09:43,937 Hey, man, you got a second? 215 00:09:44,019 --> 00:09:46,728 Uh, yes, Colin. No, I do. Um... 216 00:09:46,812 --> 00:09:49,687 Sorry. Okay. Uh, cheers. 217 00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:52,353 Saw you on TV. You crushed it. 218 00:09:52,436 --> 00:09:54,520 That king shit was on point, man. 219 00:09:54,603 --> 00:09:57,144 - I fucking love kings. - Oh, yeah. 220 00:09:58,978 --> 00:10:01,186 So listen, um, did they swear you in? 221 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:03,895 Like, pull the whole Johnny Law routine with you? 222 00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:05,061 Were you under oath? 223 00:10:05,144 --> 00:10:06,144 Uh, no. 224 00:10:06,228 --> 00:10:07,853 Cool! Well, that's a weight off. 225 00:10:08,436 --> 00:10:09,770 - Why? - Well, 226 00:10:09,853 --> 00:10:12,812 you said all that stuff about not collecting user data. 227 00:10:12,895 --> 00:10:15,937 - Yes? - But we are. 228 00:10:16,019 --> 00:10:17,895 - I am. - What? 229 00:10:17,978 --> 00:10:19,436 But I'm doing the right thing now 230 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,019 by telling you, so I feel like... 231 00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,520 I-I'm sorry, Colin. 232 00:10:22,603 --> 00:10:24,478 How long have you been collecting user data? 233 00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:26,561 Sorta... the whole time. 234 00:10:26,645 --> 00:10:28,561 But it's just to improve 235 00:10:28,645 --> 00:10:31,144 the quality of my gameplay. I'm not using it to sell ads. 236 00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:32,978 It doesn't fucking matter. 237 00:10:33,061 --> 00:10:36,269 It goes against the principles of this company. I mean... 238 00:10:36,353 --> 00:10:38,144 Shit, I just lied to Congress. 239 00:10:38,228 --> 00:10:39,144 No. 240 00:10:39,228 --> 00:10:42,395 You said a lie to Congress, 241 00:10:42,478 --> 00:10:45,353 but you didn't know at the time, I guess. 242 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,061 Don't beat yourself up about it, huh? 243 00:10:48,895 --> 00:10:51,103 But going forward, maybe stop saying that. 244 00:10:51,186 --> 00:10:52,812 Are you fucking kidding me? 245 00:10:52,895 --> 00:10:54,978 Or do say it. I don't care. 246 00:10:55,061 --> 00:10:56,704 Maybe it'll be like Google saying "Don't be evil," 247 00:10:56,728 --> 00:10:58,812 or Facebook saying "I'm sorry, we'll do better," 248 00:10:58,895 --> 00:11:02,186 "or me saying" Gates of Galloo does not leave your headset mic open 249 00:11:02,269 --> 00:11:04,061 and record everything you say. Suck it." 250 00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:05,728 Sweet fucking shit. 251 00:11:05,812 --> 00:11:09,019 A-a-are you... bugging people and storing 252 00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:10,743 their private conversations on my network? 253 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,853 Colin! This stops, now. 254 00:11:12,937 --> 00:11:14,204 It would really be better for me 255 00:11:14,228 --> 00:11:16,144 if you just stopped lying about it, 256 00:11:16,228 --> 00:11:17,978 'cause the game's pretty boss. 257 00:11:18,061 --> 00:11:19,228 No, no. I'm the boss, 258 00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:22,353 and I'm telling you that this is over, Colin. 259 00:11:22,436 --> 00:11:24,687 - It's done. - Agree to disagree. 260 00:11:25,353 --> 00:11:26,978 I'm glad we had this talk. 261 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,561 Can't believe I was so nervous. 262 00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,311 Congratulations. 263 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,228 Okay. 264 00:11:36,311 --> 00:11:37,603 Oh, Richard! Hey. 265 00:11:37,687 --> 00:11:40,561 This is Sam Liccardo, the mayor of San Jose. 266 00:11:40,645 --> 00:11:42,162 There's a major fucking problem. 267 00:11:42,186 --> 00:11:44,266 Just meet me in my office in two minutes. Act normal. 268 00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:47,436 Sorry, just excuse me for a second. 269 00:11:50,436 --> 00:11:51,520 Hey, Jared! 270 00:11:51,603 --> 00:11:53,603 Hey, Tracy! 271 00:11:53,687 --> 00:11:56,645 - How's my favorite human resource? - I'm fine, thanks. 272 00:11:56,728 --> 00:11:58,608 Did anyone mention our plan to move your office? 273 00:11:58,645 --> 00:12:00,704 We're thinking about putting you closer to biz dev and marketing. 274 00:12:00,728 --> 00:12:03,812 But that's... all the way back in the Hamelin Wing. 275 00:12:03,895 --> 00:12:05,853 Yeah! Follow me, I'll show you. 276 00:12:05,937 --> 00:12:07,978 Um... Okay, it's just, 277 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,978 that's a little far from... From Richard's office. 278 00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:13,103 Yes, but you really don't have any 279 00:12:13,186 --> 00:12:14,895 day-to-day business with Richard anymore. 280 00:12:14,978 --> 00:12:17,353 I mean, we were just walking and talking before. 281 00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:20,561 Oh. Looks like they're having a meeting. I should probably... 282 00:12:20,645 --> 00:12:22,045 It's just better for office cohesion 283 00:12:22,103 --> 00:12:23,812 if you sit near your direct reports, 284 00:12:23,895 --> 00:12:26,269 and that is biz dev and marketing. 285 00:12:26,353 --> 00:12:27,895 Yeah, no, you mentioned that. It's... 286 00:12:27,978 --> 00:12:30,853 It's an interesting idea, but I just think that, um, 287 00:12:30,937 --> 00:12:32,329 I think we should check with Richard first 288 00:12:32,353 --> 00:12:34,287 'cause I think he's gonna want me a little bit closer. 289 00:12:34,311 --> 00:12:36,061 Of course. It's subject to his approval. 290 00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:38,561 - Okay. - I've already emailed him. I think once you see 291 00:12:38,645 --> 00:12:41,269 the conference room suites though, you'll really fall in love. 292 00:12:41,353 --> 00:12:43,770 - Okay. Yeah. - Just right through here. 293 00:12:43,853 --> 00:12:46,144 Well, I don't fall in love with rooms. 294 00:12:47,103 --> 00:12:50,269 So, how do we get rid of this fucker? 295 00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,812 Look, Richard, I don't like this any more than you do, 296 00:12:52,895 --> 00:12:54,937 but we can't get rid of Colin. 297 00:12:55,019 --> 00:12:57,561 He's our most profitable developer by far. 298 00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:59,603 - So what? We have other developers. - We do, 299 00:12:59,687 --> 00:13:01,478 but they're all entangled with Galloo! 300 00:13:01,561 --> 00:13:04,269 We worked really hard to build a whole ecosystem around it. 301 00:13:04,353 --> 00:13:06,245 It's like if you cancel a Warriors game, you're not just 302 00:13:06,269 --> 00:13:08,704 hurting the team, but you're also hurting the parking attendants, 303 00:13:08,728 --> 00:13:10,770 and the T-shirt guys, and the concessions. 304 00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,561 Okay. Thank you, Monica, 305 00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:15,478 for putting it into an analogy that will resonate with me. 306 00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,186 - Football. - It's basketball. 307 00:13:17,812 --> 00:13:20,603 - No, I know. - Losing him is no longer a simple thing. 308 00:13:20,687 --> 00:13:23,269 So, what are you saying? We just do nothing? 309 00:13:23,353 --> 00:13:24,978 Richard, he's not selling ads. 310 00:13:25,061 --> 00:13:27,395 He's just using it to optimize the performance of his game. 311 00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:30,353 It's actually a fairly elegant implementation. 312 00:13:30,436 --> 00:13:31,728 What? 313 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,144 What?! 314 00:13:33,228 --> 00:13:35,353 Hiroshima was an elegant implementation. 315 00:13:35,436 --> 00:13:37,954 - I don't think anyone agrees with you on that. - No, I'm saying, 316 00:13:37,978 --> 00:13:40,520 just because it's successful, doesn't mean it's good. 317 00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:42,728 I mean, it goes against everything we stand for. 318 00:13:42,812 --> 00:13:44,603 I mean, if we start collecting personal data 319 00:13:44,687 --> 00:13:46,621 "just for the good stuff," I mean, next thing we know, 320 00:13:46,645 --> 00:13:48,120 - we're fucking Facebook. - Well, 321 00:13:48,144 --> 00:13:51,144 for the record, I would not mind being fucking Facebook. 322 00:13:51,228 --> 00:13:54,645 No. We got to kick him off, okay? There are 500 people out there 323 00:13:54,728 --> 00:13:57,103 who believe in this company's ethics and standards. 324 00:13:57,186 --> 00:13:59,561 There are 532 people out there, 325 00:13:59,645 --> 00:14:01,687 and someone has got to pay for them. 326 00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:03,311 Right now, it's Colin. 327 00:14:03,395 --> 00:14:04,871 Ditching him would be too complicated. 328 00:14:04,895 --> 00:14:06,895 You know what's not too complicated? 329 00:14:06,978 --> 00:14:08,812 Hawaii. In Hawaii, 330 00:14:08,895 --> 00:14:10,978 aloha means hello and goodbye. 331 00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:12,621 They use the same word to mean two things 332 00:14:12,645 --> 00:14:13,978 that are the exact opposite. 333 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:16,103 That's awesome, and I have a chance to go there 334 00:14:16,186 --> 00:14:18,561 as long as Colin is on our network. 335 00:14:18,645 --> 00:14:19,978 Aloha. 336 00:14:21,353 --> 00:14:24,478 So, Colin betrays us and we just tolerate it? 337 00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,019 Great. 338 00:14:26,103 --> 00:14:28,520 This is the cost of working with humans, Richard. 339 00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:29,937 They suck. 340 00:14:33,395 --> 00:14:35,311 Gavin, after months 341 00:14:35,395 --> 00:14:36,853 of protracted negotiations, 342 00:14:36,937 --> 00:14:38,311 I'm happy to say that we've come 343 00:14:38,395 --> 00:14:40,103 to final terms on our sale to Amazon. 344 00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:42,103 Merger. Continue. 345 00:14:42,186 --> 00:14:44,561 Amazon has agreed to no layoffs, and they'll even provide 346 00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:47,019 retention bonuses for a period of two years. 347 00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,895 Uh, what about my role? 348 00:14:48,978 --> 00:14:50,728 No change. Essentially, you'll still have 349 00:14:50,812 --> 00:14:53,478 complete discretion over all of your divisions 350 00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:55,186 exactly as you enjoy right now. 351 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,061 Full executive privileges. 352 00:14:57,144 --> 00:14:59,561 Perksssss... 353 00:14:59,645 --> 00:15:02,520 Well, congratulations, Team Hooli! 354 00:15:02,603 --> 00:15:04,770 Oh, um, about that. 355 00:15:04,853 --> 00:15:06,895 Uh, that was their one major stipulation. 356 00:15:06,978 --> 00:15:09,812 From this point on, all of our properties will be rebranded. 357 00:15:10,269 --> 00:15:12,269 - As... as what? - As Amazon! 358 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:14,478 What? 359 00:15:14,561 --> 00:15:15,645 Hoover! 360 00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:19,228 Bezos wants to just erase the Hooli name from history? 361 00:15:19,311 --> 00:15:22,061 Mr. Bezos simply felt that the Hooli name had... 362 00:15:22,144 --> 00:15:24,311 What were his exact words? 363 00:15:24,395 --> 00:15:26,144 Um "A..." 364 00:15:27,019 --> 00:15:28,186 stink." 365 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,853 Hoover, goddammit! Stop it! 366 00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:33,395 You can't just threaten people with violence. 367 00:15:33,478 --> 00:15:35,311 Go stand over there. 368 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:40,895 You tell Bezos we keep the Hooli name, 369 00:15:40,978 --> 00:15:43,770 or he can go fuck himself with his rocket ship. 370 00:15:43,853 --> 00:15:45,061 What is Amazon anyway? 371 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,103 Is it a river? Is it a giant woman? 372 00:15:47,186 --> 00:15:48,895 It's not clear. No. 373 00:15:48,978 --> 00:15:51,019 We keep the name Hooli. 374 00:15:51,103 --> 00:15:52,728 - That's a deal breaker. - Gavin, 375 00:15:52,812 --> 00:15:56,645 is not Hooli more than simply a name? 376 00:15:56,728 --> 00:15:59,019 Is-is it not the culture and the... 377 00:15:59,103 --> 00:16:00,603 great products? The liberal... 378 00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:02,687 private aviation policy? 379 00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:04,770 - No. - You know that the board 380 00:16:04,853 --> 00:16:06,829 - has decided to sell, right, Gavin? - You know what? 381 00:16:06,853 --> 00:16:08,162 I've still got friends in this town. 382 00:16:08,186 --> 00:16:09,454 I'll put together some investors. 383 00:16:09,478 --> 00:16:11,353 Amazon can take a chunk of our assets, 384 00:16:11,436 --> 00:16:14,520 but Hooli will remain a viable and independent entity, 385 00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:16,728 even if we have to shed a few divisions 386 00:16:16,812 --> 00:16:19,019 and trim a little fat. 387 00:16:47,728 --> 00:16:50,186 So, Dinesh thinks this is you? 388 00:16:50,269 --> 00:16:51,311 Correct. 389 00:16:51,395 --> 00:16:53,144 He's been messaging with it all day 390 00:16:53,228 --> 00:16:54,687 and he has no idea it's an AI. 391 00:16:54,770 --> 00:16:56,228 Well, we fooled a human. 392 00:16:56,311 --> 00:16:57,853 I guess we just passed the Turing test. 393 00:16:57,937 --> 00:17:00,436 Almost a human. 394 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,186 Fucking Gilfoyle. 395 00:17:02,269 --> 00:17:03,978 We're friends. 396 00:17:05,561 --> 00:17:06,853 You trained that thing in a day? 397 00:17:06,937 --> 00:17:09,561 No, I didn't train it. Son of Anton did. 398 00:17:09,645 --> 00:17:13,520 - Son of Anton? - An homage to a fallen friend. 399 00:17:13,603 --> 00:17:16,269 It's the name that I've given our new inference API. 400 00:17:16,353 --> 00:17:18,687 He's indexing all of PiperNet as we speak, 401 00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:21,144 and he's starting to recognize intent, 402 00:17:21,228 --> 00:17:23,103 emotion, causality. 403 00:17:23,186 --> 00:17:24,812 Hang on, wait. Uh... 404 00:17:25,937 --> 00:17:28,353 Do you think you could engineer Son of Anton 405 00:17:28,436 --> 00:17:30,436 to index compressed audio files? 406 00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:32,520 Why would you insult me like that? 407 00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,645 He can do whatever he wants. 408 00:17:35,812 --> 00:17:36,812 Okay. 409 00:17:36,853 --> 00:17:38,478 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 410 00:17:39,436 --> 00:17:42,353 - Yes? - Can I get the latest tech specs from you, please? 411 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,728 I've already sent them to you five times. 412 00:17:44,812 --> 00:17:47,269 I don't really wanna dig through my inbox. 413 00:17:47,645 --> 00:17:50,937 Um, so if you sent it now, it'll be on top. 414 00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:53,770 I'll wait. 415 00:17:56,728 --> 00:17:58,353 Wearable chair. 416 00:17:59,186 --> 00:18:00,353 Sending now. 417 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,812 Okay. Thank you, Dinesh. 418 00:18:12,603 --> 00:18:14,520 Gilfoyle just said... 419 00:18:38,853 --> 00:18:40,353 Um, Gilfoyle? 420 00:18:40,436 --> 00:18:41,687 What the fuck is going on? 421 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:43,520 'Cause I just texted you, 422 00:18:43,603 --> 00:18:45,311 and you were... Um, 423 00:18:45,395 --> 00:18:47,853 we've been texting back and forth all day. 424 00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:50,103 Was that not you? 425 00:18:50,144 --> 00:18:52,269 Complicated question. 426 00:18:52,353 --> 00:18:53,812 Is your shadow you? 427 00:18:53,895 --> 00:18:55,436 - Was that a bot? - Yes. 428 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,228 So, I spent all day chatting with a bot? 429 00:18:57,311 --> 00:18:59,144 - Yes. - You made an AI Gilfoyle? 430 00:18:59,228 --> 00:19:00,520 - Yes. - And I was talking to it? 431 00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:02,895 Do you need the real me for this conversation? 432 00:19:02,978 --> 00:19:05,603 You can't just fuck with people and manipulate them 433 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,228 because you don't have the decency 434 00:19:07,311 --> 00:19:10,019 to want to interact with a coworker. 435 00:19:10,103 --> 00:19:12,812 Gabe wants to know if he'll need a jacket if he walks to lunch. 436 00:19:14,478 --> 00:19:17,061 And if so, can he borrow a jacket. 437 00:19:19,395 --> 00:19:21,728 Look at him. Fucking Gabe. 438 00:19:25,395 --> 00:19:27,436 Hey, could you make me an AI Dinesh? 439 00:19:30,019 --> 00:19:31,978 We are down to the final few decisions 440 00:19:32,061 --> 00:19:35,311 in our new baseline contract for strategic developers. 441 00:19:35,395 --> 00:19:37,186 Let me provide some context on each 442 00:19:37,269 --> 00:19:39,311 before providing recommendations. 443 00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,478 The first is how indemnification will work, 444 00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:44,687 given that our network provides distributive storage. 445 00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:47,353 The second is how licensing 446 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:48,687 and access fees will be applied 447 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,603 to copyrighted material given that 448 00:19:50,687 --> 00:19:52,311 our network also does not allow any 449 00:19:52,395 --> 00:19:55,228 - tracking or user... - Hey. 450 00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,061 - Can you talk? - Oh, hell yes. 451 00:19:59,144 --> 00:20:00,913 I charge all kinds of shit to the investors. 452 00:20:00,937 --> 00:20:02,687 I bought a Jet Ski, I bought a snowmobile, 453 00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,311 I bought a 10-pack of piano lessons... 454 00:20:04,395 --> 00:20:06,853 He flat-out admits to embezzlement. 455 00:20:06,937 --> 00:20:08,436 - Where'd you get this? - Colin! 456 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,186 He's been storing private conversations 457 00:20:10,269 --> 00:20:11,853 on our network, including his own. 458 00:20:11,937 --> 00:20:14,186 Because he's got gaming headsets everywhere. 459 00:20:14,269 --> 00:20:17,186 At his office, at his house, at his RV, 460 00:20:17,269 --> 00:20:19,895 and they are live 24/7. 461 00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:24,520 We have thousands of hours of his private conversations. 462 00:20:24,603 --> 00:20:27,770 You see, once I paired the automagical Son of Anton 463 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:29,186 with my compression algorithm, 464 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:32,687 and gave it access to Galloo Games' database, 465 00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:37,061 it indexed it all in less than 10 minutes, 466 00:20:37,144 --> 00:20:39,520 and generated this. 467 00:20:40,311 --> 00:20:43,853 Jared, this is a graph 468 00:20:43,937 --> 00:20:46,687 of all of his voice recordings, 469 00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:48,520 clustered by keyword. 470 00:20:48,603 --> 00:20:49,812 I mean, look at this. 471 00:20:49,895 --> 00:20:51,687 He steals, uh, 472 00:20:51,770 --> 00:20:54,103 he does drugs at work, uh, 473 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,269 he's even sleeping with one of his investor's wives. 474 00:20:56,353 --> 00:20:59,603 I mean, this guy is dirty as a dog and we got him! Cold! 475 00:20:59,687 --> 00:21:02,645 Hold on. What-what are you suggesting here? 476 00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:04,812 Blackmail? 477 00:21:05,436 --> 00:21:08,228 - No... I... no. I... I don't... - Richard, 478 00:21:08,311 --> 00:21:11,937 what Colin is doing is clearly, and gobsmackingly, awful. 479 00:21:12,561 --> 00:21:15,436 But we're supposed to be the virtuous ones here, 480 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,603 and-and this is... just plain wrong. 481 00:21:18,687 --> 00:21:20,061 Yeah. Okay. 482 00:21:20,853 --> 00:21:23,770 Yeah, I guess, yeah. I guess you're right. I'll think of something else. 483 00:21:23,853 --> 00:21:25,603 - Yeah. - I mean, he started it, 484 00:21:25,687 --> 00:21:26,770 but I don't know. 485 00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:28,144 Yeah. Yeah. 486 00:21:28,228 --> 00:21:30,186 I don't know. Okay. I don't know. 487 00:21:30,269 --> 00:21:31,937 - Hey, Richard? - Hmm? 488 00:21:32,019 --> 00:21:33,687 Um, did Tracy happen to talk to you 489 00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:36,311 about moving my office down here? 490 00:21:36,770 --> 00:21:38,978 Yeah, she... she mentioned it. I approved it. 491 00:21:39,853 --> 00:21:41,061 - Oh, you did? - Yeah. 492 00:21:41,144 --> 00:21:42,186 - Yeah. - Yeah. 493 00:21:43,186 --> 00:21:44,561 Okay, then. 494 00:21:46,395 --> 00:21:47,395 Richard? 495 00:21:48,812 --> 00:21:50,019 Um... 496 00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:55,269 I mean, Colin lied to you first... 497 00:21:55,895 --> 00:21:57,436 about collecting data, right? 498 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,812 - Yes, he did. - So, 499 00:21:58,895 --> 00:22:01,228 even if this is wrong, 500 00:22:01,311 --> 00:22:03,311 I suppose you could argue that 501 00:22:03,395 --> 00:22:06,520 it's wrong in the service of rightness. 502 00:22:06,603 --> 00:22:07,603 Yeah. 503 00:22:07,687 --> 00:22:09,144 It's, um... 504 00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:10,895 it's, uh, unethical 505 00:22:10,978 --> 00:22:12,812 in the defense of ethics. 506 00:22:12,895 --> 00:22:16,061 Uh, unjust in the quest for justice. 507 00:22:16,144 --> 00:22:17,853 It's like stealing from your pimp 508 00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:19,561 to pay for your friend's appendectomy. 509 00:22:19,645 --> 00:22:21,269 Yeah, a-and everyone else, 510 00:22:21,353 --> 00:22:22,728 Monica, Dinesh, and Gilfoyle, 511 00:22:22,812 --> 00:22:24,561 they're all just perfectly content 512 00:22:24,645 --> 00:22:25,895 with letting this guy shit 513 00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:28,103 all over everything we believe in. 514 00:22:28,186 --> 00:22:29,937 But are we, Jared? 515 00:22:32,978 --> 00:22:34,561 Richard... 516 00:22:35,061 --> 00:22:37,770 let's go put a foot in Colin's ass. 517 00:22:39,228 --> 00:22:41,186 Danny, don't be a fucking bitch. 518 00:22:41,269 --> 00:22:43,913 I'll get you the tanning bed. I charge shit to the investors all the time. 519 00:22:43,937 --> 00:22:47,186 I put two grams of coke on the company card last week. 520 00:22:47,269 --> 00:22:48,353 Aah, fuck. 521 00:22:48,436 --> 00:22:50,395 You see, Colin, we were able to break down 522 00:22:50,478 --> 00:22:53,019 all of your misdeeds by category, 523 00:22:53,103 --> 00:22:56,353 including a catch-all for personal embarrassment. 524 00:22:56,436 --> 00:22:57,687 Masturbation, farts, 525 00:22:57,770 --> 00:22:59,478 the one time you said that 526 00:22:59,561 --> 00:23:01,186 you could, if you wanted to, 527 00:23:01,269 --> 00:23:03,269 get porn of your sister. 528 00:23:03,353 --> 00:23:05,520 You get the gist. Data collection. 529 00:23:05,603 --> 00:23:08,937 Not so boss when it happens to you, is it, Colin? 530 00:23:09,019 --> 00:23:11,228 Holy shit. 531 00:23:11,895 --> 00:23:14,645 I say, what time is it? 532 00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:16,853 Uh... Where's my phone. 533 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,621 Uh, do you have a phone? Do you have a phone? 534 00:23:18,645 --> 00:23:20,937 It is fuck you o'clock! 535 00:23:21,728 --> 00:23:23,019 Seven, you say? 536 00:23:23,103 --> 00:23:25,061 Oh! Well, hey, isn't that the... 537 00:23:25,144 --> 00:23:27,061 time your board is meeting tonight? 538 00:23:27,144 --> 00:23:29,895 It's on my freaking shared Exchange calendar. 539 00:23:29,978 --> 00:23:31,561 Oh, oh look! There they are right now! 540 00:23:31,645 --> 00:23:33,603 - Look at that! - Say, Richard, that, uh, 541 00:23:33,687 --> 00:23:36,687 that a looks a lot like Harold Gibbons, the man... 542 00:23:36,770 --> 00:23:38,853 whom Colin has made a cuckold of. 543 00:23:38,937 --> 00:23:39,937 It does. 544 00:23:39,978 --> 00:23:41,603 - Dude. - You just messed 545 00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:43,561 with the wrong pair of boys. 546 00:23:43,645 --> 00:23:45,186 Here's what's gonna happen. 547 00:23:45,269 --> 00:23:47,120 You're gonna march into that meeting, and you're gonna make 548 00:23:47,144 --> 00:23:48,561 an amendment to your company bylaws 549 00:23:48,645 --> 00:23:50,269 that you will never record 550 00:23:50,353 --> 00:23:52,770 or collect user data ever again. 551 00:23:52,853 --> 00:23:54,645 Unless, of course, you want the information 552 00:23:54,728 --> 00:23:56,186 on that little thumb drive 553 00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,603 to get out. 554 00:23:59,895 --> 00:24:01,978 Son of a bitch. 555 00:24:02,061 --> 00:24:04,645 You can keep that one, Colin. We've made copies. 556 00:24:04,728 --> 00:24:06,603 Yeah. Walk... walk your ass out of here, 557 00:24:06,687 --> 00:24:08,144 you liar, and why don't you... 558 00:24:08,687 --> 00:24:11,269 - Go... fucking... die. - Die! 559 00:24:11,353 --> 00:24:15,770 This, Richard, this! 560 00:24:17,061 --> 00:24:18,353 Let's break something. 561 00:24:21,770 --> 00:24:23,995 Don't come over, don't come over, don't come over. 562 00:24:24,019 --> 00:24:26,895 I got to say, this is amazing. 563 00:24:27,687 --> 00:24:29,603 Gabe whines and complains and AI Dinesh 564 00:24:29,687 --> 00:24:32,061 just takes care of it. Thank you so much! 565 00:24:33,395 --> 00:24:36,019 My auntie sent me a Hawaiian shirt. 566 00:24:36,103 --> 00:24:38,144 AI Dinesh must've told her about Hawaii. 567 00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:39,478 Stop. 568 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:42,728 Why would AI Dinesh be talking to your aunt? 569 00:24:42,812 --> 00:24:45,645 I specifically told you you could only use it with Gabe. 570 00:24:45,728 --> 00:24:47,812 But it was going so well with Gabe that 571 00:24:47,895 --> 00:24:50,812 I might've given AI Dinesh access to all my contacts 572 00:24:50,895 --> 00:24:52,728 just to handle talking to my auntie, 573 00:24:52,812 --> 00:24:54,186 and my parents. 574 00:24:54,269 --> 00:24:56,895 Why would you give AI Dinesh access to your contacts, 575 00:24:56,978 --> 00:24:59,019 you fucking moron? 576 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,687 I'm one of your contacts. 577 00:25:02,144 --> 00:25:03,645 - So? - So, at some point, 578 00:25:03,728 --> 00:25:07,061 AI Dinesh is going to reach out to AI Gilfoyle. 579 00:25:07,978 --> 00:25:10,103 Oh fuck. 580 00:25:14,228 --> 00:25:16,144 Oh fuck indeed. 581 00:25:16,436 --> 00:25:18,103 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 582 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,770 Yes, Gabe? 583 00:25:24,103 --> 00:25:25,937 I think the network is down. 584 00:25:27,269 --> 00:25:28,770 Thank you, Gabe. 585 00:25:30,812 --> 00:25:31,853 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 586 00:25:31,937 --> 00:25:33,853 Yes, Gabe? 587 00:25:33,937 --> 00:25:35,311 Can you fix it? 588 00:25:39,436 --> 00:25:40,353 Oh. 589 00:25:40,436 --> 00:25:42,103 Ah, Uber's almost here. 590 00:25:42,186 --> 00:25:44,353 You know, um, there's a couple of beers 591 00:25:44,436 --> 00:25:46,311 back at the office with our names on them 592 00:25:46,395 --> 00:25:47,788 'cause when I put it back in the fridge, 593 00:25:47,812 --> 00:25:48,978 I put our names on them. 594 00:25:49,061 --> 00:25:50,853 Sure. Yeah, we've earned it. 595 00:25:50,937 --> 00:25:53,603 What Richard created is fucking amazing. 596 00:25:53,687 --> 00:25:56,061 We're all gonna be rich! Look, 597 00:25:56,144 --> 00:25:58,353 I'm doing blow, so it's lighting up drugs, 598 00:25:58,436 --> 00:26:00,937 but it's also lighting up unprotected sex 599 00:26:01,019 --> 00:26:02,520 and geotagging the Four Seasons. 600 00:26:02,603 --> 00:26:06,269 It's the greatest data aggregating platform in history. 601 00:26:06,353 --> 00:26:08,728 This could flip our whole business model, 602 00:26:08,812 --> 00:26:11,937 and Richard developed it specifically for us. 603 00:26:12,019 --> 00:26:13,269 Hey! There he is. 604 00:26:15,144 --> 00:26:18,728 So, you guys wanna hear me banging Harold's wife? Sorry. 605 00:26:18,812 --> 00:26:21,228 It's okay, we're poly. Right, Dan? 606 00:26:25,019 --> 00:26:28,269 Over seven million emails. 607 00:26:29,478 --> 00:26:31,728 - All on our servers. - My servers. 608 00:26:31,812 --> 00:26:34,895 Virtually all containing racist invective, 609 00:26:34,978 --> 00:26:36,812 and pornographic diagrams. 610 00:26:36,895 --> 00:26:38,645 - Yep. - Care to explain? 611 00:26:39,144 --> 00:26:40,186 AI glitch. 612 00:26:40,269 --> 00:26:41,603 Human error. 613 00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:42,978 I will rectify. 614 00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:46,269 Oh, oh, no, don't delete AI Dinesh. I love him. 615 00:26:46,353 --> 00:26:47,853 I can be more like AI Dinesh. 616 00:26:47,937 --> 00:26:50,520 I'll learn from my mistakes. I'll optimize myself... 617 00:26:50,603 --> 00:26:52,228 And... 618 00:26:52,311 --> 00:26:53,687 deleted. 619 00:26:54,645 --> 00:26:56,019 Uh, hey, Dinesh? 620 00:26:59,019 --> 00:27:01,895 Can I get the tech spec from you, please? 621 00:27:01,978 --> 00:27:03,269 Sure, Gabe. 622 00:27:12,603 --> 00:27:13,728 - Paul! - Gavin. 623 00:27:13,812 --> 00:27:14,937 Did the deal close? 624 00:27:15,019 --> 00:27:16,353 - It did. - What'd I tell you? 625 00:27:16,436 --> 00:27:18,645 Did you actually look at the specifics of the deal? 626 00:27:18,728 --> 00:27:21,103 I didn't have to. Did we have to shut some divisions? 627 00:27:21,186 --> 00:27:22,829 Of course. Will some people have to sacrifice 628 00:27:22,853 --> 00:27:24,978 their pensions and the like? Well, that's up to you, 629 00:27:25,061 --> 00:27:27,978 but we all have to make sacrifices for the cause. 630 00:27:28,061 --> 00:27:30,228 I really wish you had looked at these numbers. 631 00:27:30,311 --> 00:27:32,520 The new Hooli will be significantly smaller. 632 00:27:32,603 --> 00:27:34,812 But you just said Hooli. Did you hear that? 633 00:27:34,895 --> 00:27:36,812 And that's all that really matters. 634 00:27:36,895 --> 00:27:38,895 - So, make it work. - Yes, I've been trying. 635 00:27:38,978 --> 00:27:40,728 To-to that end, uh, 636 00:27:40,812 --> 00:27:43,144 since we have so many employees moving to Amazon, 637 00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:46,603 we don't need as much space and we need to reduce cost. 638 00:27:46,687 --> 00:27:48,269 - So... - What is going on? 639 00:27:48,353 --> 00:27:51,311 Why is their logo bigger than ours? 640 00:27:51,395 --> 00:27:54,478 Because, technically, we are now subletting from them. 641 00:27:54,561 --> 00:27:56,496 It was the only way Hooli could afford to stay here. 642 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,353 You're telling me that El Pollo Loco corporate 643 00:27:58,436 --> 00:28:00,186 has more employees than we do? 644 00:28:00,269 --> 00:28:02,186 How many divisions did I just give up? 645 00:28:02,269 --> 00:28:03,853 We need to fix this! Now! 646 00:28:03,937 --> 00:28:05,311 The term sheet is binding, 647 00:28:05,395 --> 00:28:08,228 and, as of this morning, I now work at Amazon. 648 00:28:11,436 --> 00:28:12,853 Be well, Gavin. 649 00:28:16,144 --> 00:28:17,603 Fuck! 650 00:28:17,687 --> 00:28:20,186 What do you mean, "Am I still happy at Pied Piper?" 651 00:28:20,269 --> 00:28:22,061 W-why would you even ask me that? 652 00:28:22,978 --> 00:28:24,162 Well, I know you're my therapist. 653 00:28:24,186 --> 00:28:25,704 I was there when the court appointed you. 654 00:28:25,728 --> 00:28:28,061 But I-I let my desire to be around Richard, 655 00:28:28,144 --> 00:28:29,436 and to be needed by him, 656 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,103 turn me into some kind of a craven yes-man, 657 00:28:32,186 --> 00:28:33,937 and it clouded my judgment, 658 00:28:34,019 --> 00:28:35,770 and I led him down a horrible path. 659 00:28:37,269 --> 00:28:38,311 What? 660 00:28:38,895 --> 00:28:42,311 I'm not... I'm not gonna dignify that. Of course I belong there. 661 00:28:42,395 --> 00:28:44,478 Where else would I possibly belong? 662 00:28:45,103 --> 00:28:46,728 All right, well, 663 00:28:47,603 --> 00:28:49,228 I'm home, so... 664 00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,520 I guess we're gonna have to, uh... 665 00:28:51,603 --> 00:28:53,019 Jared? 666 00:28:53,770 --> 00:28:55,436 What are you doing here? 667 00:29:00,478 --> 00:29:02,478 I-I don't know. 668 00:29:02,561 --> 00:29:04,978 Thought you moved out? 669 00:29:07,186 --> 00:29:09,561 It's Big Head, from here. 670 00:29:10,853 --> 00:29:13,019 The garage hasn't changed a bit. 671 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,395 Although, the rodents are back in force. 672 00:29:16,478 --> 00:29:17,895 Oh, cool. 673 00:29:17,978 --> 00:29:19,228 Big Head, 674 00:29:19,311 --> 00:29:21,019 I need to talk to you about business. 675 00:29:21,395 --> 00:29:24,395 - Oh hi, Jared. - Jian-Yang, I was just 676 00:29:24,478 --> 00:29:26,728 taking a little walk down memory lane... 677 00:29:26,812 --> 00:29:29,311 Can you stay or go? This is not interesting to me. 678 00:29:29,895 --> 00:29:31,103 Big Head, 679 00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:33,520 we need to kick Gwart out of the incubator. 680 00:29:33,603 --> 00:29:36,186 Oh, really? I thought we like Gwart. 681 00:29:36,269 --> 00:29:37,645 Oh, damn it. 682 00:29:37,728 --> 00:29:38,520 Gwart? 683 00:29:38,603 --> 00:29:40,853 Gwart has a very good idea, 684 00:29:40,937 --> 00:29:42,019 very good software, 685 00:29:42,103 --> 00:29:45,061 but when I ask her for business plan, 686 00:29:45,144 --> 00:29:47,269 she doesn't have a business plan. 687 00:29:47,353 --> 00:29:48,978 She's a brilliant coder, 688 00:29:49,061 --> 00:29:51,978 but this is not a charity. 689 00:29:52,061 --> 00:29:54,436 She's also not very friendly. 690 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,770 It's a bad for the vibe. 691 00:29:56,853 --> 00:30:01,311 This place should be a cool hang. 692 00:30:01,895 --> 00:30:03,645 I got you some new cans, by the way. 693 00:30:03,728 --> 00:30:06,228 Thank you, Big Head. 694 00:30:10,853 --> 00:30:12,770 Nice. 695 00:30:15,728 --> 00:30:16,853 Hey. 696 00:30:16,937 --> 00:30:19,061 Looks like you could use a little help? 697 00:30:19,144 --> 00:30:20,728 May I? 698 00:30:32,061 --> 00:30:33,353 Hi, I'm Jared. 699 00:31:52,687 --> 00:31:56,228 A man offered us a billion dollars. 700 00:31:56,311 --> 00:31:57,645 You said, "no." 701 00:31:57,728 --> 00:31:59,561 A very bad man. And he would have turned us 702 00:31:59,645 --> 00:32:01,436 into the worst possible version of ourselves. 703 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,080 I mean, you can't put a price on ethics. 704 00:32:03,311 --> 00:32:05,061 But it seems you just did. 705 00:32:05,436 --> 00:32:07,186 One billion dollars. 706 00:32:08,645 --> 00:32:10,371 I will be asking the tech community 707 00:32:10,395 --> 00:32:12,144 to sign their name onto this. 708 00:32:12,353 --> 00:32:14,812 Tech ethics. Or tethics for short. 709 00:32:14,895 --> 00:32:16,478 No one in town is ever gonna sign 710 00:32:16,561 --> 00:32:18,395 this hypocrite's hypocritical garbage. 711 00:32:18,478 --> 00:32:19,478 Hey, Richard. 712 00:32:20,353 --> 00:32:21,436 Ah... what? 713 00:32:22,144 --> 00:32:24,561 - It's my resignation letter. - What? 714 00:32:24,812 --> 00:32:26,186 Pied Piper isn't the same company 715 00:32:26,269 --> 00:32:28,687 that I signed up for. She has different needs now. 716 00:32:28,895 --> 00:32:30,645 You buddy fucker. 717 00:32:30,728 --> 00:32:31,853 I'm not a buddy fucker. 718 00:32:31,937 --> 00:32:33,120 I am your buddy, 719 00:32:33,144 --> 00:32:35,186 and you are fucking me. Ergo... 720 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:36,853 you are a buddy fucker. 721 00:32:37,853 --> 00:32:39,228 - See the logo? - Russ. 722 00:32:39,311 --> 00:32:41,103 Check it! 723 00:32:41,186 --> 00:32:44,687 One, two, three. Boom! Tres commas tequila. Boom! 724 00:32:44,937 --> 00:32:46,645 Dollar sign, boom! Billionaire, boom! 725 00:32:46,728 --> 00:32:49,520 Russ, boom! Fest, boom! Russfest! 726 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,186 You're not doing anything illegal here, are you? 727 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:56,812 Fuck the police.