He meets Roger; they match.
- He's really caring. He told me,
"I already know I found the one."
And we FaceTimed a few times. - What?
- He's married.
- I'm always in someone's mouth.
Now shut up, bitch.
- What the [bleep] did you say to me?
- This looks like an evil twin. - Are we ready?
- I don't know if I'm ready. [Zoom chimes]
- Get the [bleep] out of here.
- Are these plant babies?
- We needed some plants in here.
- This makes me so happy.
- These are officially our little plant babies now.
- This one will be named Max.
- This one's got some silver in it.
I think this should be Max.
- That's Max 'cause it has a silver pot.
- Right, silver pots and silver, like, coloring.
- Yes. - Carmen?
- Carmen, thank you.
It's exactly what I was thinking.
- I knew it. 'Cause it's tall.
- This is gonna grow and be a little bit viney.
- Ashley Taylor.
- You think this is Ashley Taylor?
Okay, great. This needs a name.
- Ooh.
- That's Justin. Okay.
- [laughs]
I wanna name it Katy Perry. I don't know why.
- Sure, Katy, Justin,
Ashley, Max, Carmen.
- This made my day.
- All right, should we get started?
Let's see what's in the old inbox.
"Hey, Nev and Kamie,
"My name is Zark. I'm a 22-year-old guy
living outside DC with my family."
- My home.
- "I've been in a relationship for about two years
with a man named Roger."
["Good Connection" by Layup playing]
- "I met Roger on Tinder."
- ♪ I can connect the dots from me to you ♪
- "He was 31, a government contractor,
and was based in Orlando, Florida."
[groans]
This is off to a bad start. - [mimicking sad trombones]
- "Roger said he was constantly in DC for work."
That's right, 'cause he's a government contractor.
- Mm-hmm. - "And he kept on texting.
"To be honest, I thought he was a bit thirsty
"but found myself replying to his messages anyway.
"And then, when I was having some big problems,
he helped me get through them."
- ♪ Any time we can interact ♪
♪ I'll be down with that to connect to you ♪
- "After six months, we got kinda serious about each other.
We talk on the phone all the time."
- ♪ We got a good ♪
♪ Good, good, good ♪
♪ Connection ♪
- "But we still haven't met in person.
"But I've recently started to feel like
"I don't know him as well as I thought.
"Roger had said he was always flying into DC for work,
"but he hasn't been here
since the week we matched on Tinder, two years ago."
- Convenient. - Right.
"Our two-year anniversary is approaching.
"Now that people are getting vaccinated,
I think it's safe for us to meet face to face."
- ♪ All I want is ♪
♪ A good connection ♪
- "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to meet him in person,
"so why isn't he? I know he cares about me.
"I know he wants to be my boyfriend.
So what could be h"olding him back?
You guys are my best shot at finding out the truth."
- ♪ Good, good ♪
- "I hope you'll help me. Zark."
- Let's see if we can get old of Zark on the line here.
Greetings, Zark!
Come join our Zoom so we can help.
- Oh, he just said hey. "Sure, I'm out in the city.
Just give me time to run to my house."
What? I mean, you know what?
- I mean, we can't expect people to just always be ready
the second we-- - That's true.
People always wanna know how people are ready
as if we don't sit and wait for them just in general.
- Sometimes we wait. Well, I mean, look, he sounds
like he understands he's in a situation.
- Roger's married to a woman.
- Roger could be married. Roger may not be out.
- Well, first of all, I feel like we haven't had
a government contractor catfish before.
- I don't think so, no.
But I have heard people who were creating fake accounts
will say they work for the government,
which is why they don't have social media.
- Right. Right.
- It's like a perfect excuse. [Zoom chimes]
- Aha!
- Hello.
- Hey! - Hello.
- What's up, Zark?
What is the origin of that name?
- So I'm Pakistani but my name is Arabic.
It means the gift of God. - Interesting.
- Well, we love the name. - Thank you, thank you.
- What do you do for a living? - I've been modeling
for the past six and a half years,
doing local fashion shows and you know upcoming designer.
- All right, let's see it, let's see the walk.
Give us the walk, Zark. - Oh, right now? Okay.
- Come on. - Here we go.
- Sell it. - You better walk.
Walk, walk, walk. Boom, boom, boom, boom.
- Hands in the pockets, turn. - Oh, nice.
- Pivot. Nice.
- Show the garment.
- Turn. - Sell the garment.
- Wow. - Yes.
- Wow, that was good. - Wow.
- Wait, so now I want that outfit.
I gotta have it. I gotta have it.
All right, well, cool. So you're 22 now.
- Yes.
- And then you say about two years ago,
you're on Tinder and you meet Roger.
So tell us how that started and progressed.
- After I came out, a lot of my friends were like,
"Oh, you know, you should download Tinder.
You download this, did you download that?"
And, you know, you're matching people,
you're swiping, and then I match with Roger.
And that same day, he was like,
"Oh, my God, you're so pretty.
You're so beautiful. You're this, this, and that."
And I'm like, "Slow your roll."
- Mm-hmm. - So he just kept messaging.
And I was like, you know what? Let me just reply to him.
And we started talking and he was always just really nice.
He told me he's from Orlando,
but he worked for the government.
So he tells me he flies in and out of DC all the time.
So we just started talking more and more.
Like a month or two later, we finally talked on the phone
just 'cause I was going through a lot of family stuff.
And he was just able to be there for me
and listen to me and advise me. I mean, he's older than me.
When I was 21, he was 31.
Like, a couple months after that,
I developed feelings.
And then we've just been on it ever since.
- So how long has it been now that you guys are
sort of official? - Almost two years.
- So you guys are like exclusive?
- Yeah, I mean, when we deleted our Tinder, he told me
that "I'm serious about you.
I really wanna to get to know you,"
and that's when we deleted it at the same time.
- Have you guys said that you love each other?
- He said it first.
But I eventually did come around and said it.
So we have.
- Are you guys connected on any other platforms,
any social media?
- So he's not a social media person,
which at first, I was like,
"You don't have social media? That's like not having a car."
And I said like, what are you doing?
But I've definitely asked him about it.
But he's just not for it. He has a government job.
He is older.
So we're not even connected or anything.
We just, like, text every now and then,
talk--we've FaceTimed a few times.
- What? - But here's the thing, though,
I've never really seen his face.
- Oh! - What have you seen?
- It's not even FaceTime; it's beard time.
That's what I'ma call it 'cause there's a camera's--yeah.
He's like... - Here.
- [laughs] - So you just literally...
- That is [bleep] weird.
- [laughs]
- That is [bleep] weird.
- So I asked him, I was like, "So do you just have
a giant pimple on your face?" And that's when I felt like
a really bad person because he has cancer.
- Oh.
- And he's going through treatment.
And he just felt really insecure.
- When did he tell you that?
- I wanna say this was like a little less than a year or so.
And I was like, "So can I see your face?"
And that's when he was like,
"Okay, I wanna be honest with you.
"I'm currently dealing with this
"and you're so good-looking.
"So I'm just kind of scared that, you know,
you might not think I look nice."
I never like pushed that.
So I was like, "You know what? I'm gonna give you that space."
- So has he told you what exactly his--
his health issues are right now?
- No, because he doesn't wanna worry me.
Every time I ask him so he'll be like,
"No, I don't wanna worry you, but just know I'm okay."
- Do you have pictures of him that you can show us?
- Yes. So this is him.
- Oh, wow. - Yeah, Roger.
Wow. - Just, just chilling.
- You can't tell me that man's not confident.
- Well, wait, but this was before.
- These are all pictures from before he got sick, I guess.
- And that's a very full beard. - Yeah.
- So the beard you saw is like same--
- Yeah.
- I see a--what looks like a wedding ring.
- I've actually never paid attention to that.
Oh, no.
- Kamie, your first thought when we were--
after reading your email was... - He's married to a woman.
- Listen, I've--I've had,
I've had to deal with my fair share of straight guys.
And I'm not dealing with that again.
- Does he talk about past relationships?
- You know, I've asked him about his past,
and he's always been like, sometimes you just know
that this is not the person for you.
And you just know you have to go separate ways.
And he would always just reassure me, just don't worry,
I can already see that's not gonna happen with you.
And I already know I've found the one.
- The one? - And he would just go on--
he would just go on about that.
- Zark, are you his gift from God?
- I don't know. Am I?
But see now I'm worried. I was cool before.
But now I'm like, What if he's married?
- I mean, on one hand,
you're right to be skeptical, right?
'Cause you've been talking a long time.
The FaceTiming thing is a little sus.
But I could definitely see this going either way.
- Yeah, I hope that Roger is who you think he is.
I, I think, though, that you were right to think
that there is something that he's hiding.
- Like some of the stuff he does kind of just, like,
doesn't make sense to me because it's like,
what is it that you're not telling me?
You know, what exactly should be worried about?
I, I just need answers at this point.
- All right, well, look, send us his pictures
and his phone number and whatever else you have.
If he's telling the truth, and there's nothing to hide,
then we shouldn't find anything when we do a little research
and we'll get back to you as soon as we have some results.
- My heart is gonna be beating until then,
'cause that whole wedding ring really kind of pushed me back.
So I'm gonna-- I'm gonna try to stay calm.
- All right, Zark, talk soon, buddy.
- All right, talk soon. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
He's married.
- I mean, or the guy
in the pictures might be married.
- The fact that he says that they FaceTimed a few times--
- Right, but it's almost weirder
that he's done a mouth time.
- I feel like, show me your full face
or get the [bleep] out of here.
- He then revealed that he's been sick lately.
So maybe it's swollen. Maybe he's breaking out.
Maybe he's, you know, you don't know.
- I don't wanna not believe that.
And I know Zark doesn't wanna not believe that.
But he's also been so sketchy that it's like hard to believe
that he's not hiding some big dark secret.
- Let's see your best runway walk.
- Sell the garment, shoulders back.
Let's give them a good turn, and turn.
- Oh, only you lost your balance--deduction.
- It's the shoe. What's up?
- Okay, let's see what we can find on this guy.
Zark, 22, shortly after coming out, he goes online.
He meets Roger, they match. He's cute, but he's older.
He lives in Florida, but they start talking
and that conversation turns into flirting
and they start being into each other.
Interestingly, they have FaceTimed,
but when they FaceTime all Zark sees is like nose down.
Roger reveals he started
undergoing treatment for cancer.
- Allegedly.
- And that even though he hasn't been specific about it,
it must have affected his appearance in some way
that he doesn't want to reveal
until he's looking more like himself.
Zark's been very patient and understanding.
But now it's been two years. He wants to meet the guy.
He's ready to go. - Right.
- All right, let's check and see if Zark emailed us.
He did. "Hi, Nev and Kamie,
"Roger's full name is Roger [bleep].
"He lives in Orlando and he works
"as a government contractor. Here's his phone number.
"I don't know how many pics you wanted,
"so I just sent them all.
Thanks again for helping, Zark."
All right, let's save these pics.
I love starting with the image search.
- Okay. - This is the one
where he's got his little name tag on.
- Men's tuxedos.
- All right, picture number two.
So that's not a hit. All right, last one.
He's at an event.
No hits on the pics.
All right, let's run the phone number.
- It's the only other thing we have.
Well, we have his name. - Yeah.
- What if it comes back to White House, Joe Biden?
Roger.
both: Casanova.
- That's not even a real name.
- Wow, maybe that's not his real last name,
but it comes up registered someone named Roger.
- You can't trust a Casanova, Nev.
- You know what else we should do?
Cash app.
Plug the number in. You never know.
Someone's got an account. - Spark.
- Oh, ooh. - What?
- There is an account, Roger Dat.
Underneath is a username, Dark [bleep].
- Mm-hmm.
- Let's just do an Instagram search for this name.
Okay, let's try Dark [bleep].
Ooh, there is a hit.
- "Czar of the universe"? - [gasps]
Ooh, there he is, there he is.
- No.
- "If you're emotionally sensitive
"and don't like what I post then [bleep] off my profile
"and go play with your chili hole, simple as that.
I'm very direct and unapologetic."
Look, here he is.
- No way.
- He does have an Instagram.
Look, all the pictures that he got sent.
"Smiling violently at you haters that wanna see me down.
None of you cucks can take my joy away."
- Oh, my God. He's a [bleep] weirdo.
- It's just like kind of vulgar, right?
- Yeah. Why is he so weird?
What, his captions--
"Something big and sweet to suck on," what?
- "I'm always in someone's mouth.
"Haters stay talking [bleep].
"I wish you'd shut the [bleep] up damn good grief.
"You know your mouth's a cage for your tongue
if you just close your teeth. Now shut up, bitch."
- What the [bleep] did you just say to me?
This is a [bleep] weirdo,
somebody's weird-ass uncle.
- Roger might be sweet and lovely with Zark,
but on his Finsta--
- He's a Sour Patch Kid.
- I wonder if any of this side of Roger's personality
is known to Zark?
Like, if they've talked about anything like this.
- "[bleep] off my page, go play with your chili hole."
Does that seem like the kinda guy that Zark
would wanna be talking to? I don't think so.
- I don't know. Let's see.
I haven't seen any comments. There's only one comment here.
And it's from a woman named Fatou.
"Haven't seen you in a suit in a while."
Maybe she knows him. - It's private.
- Okay, so send her a message.
Just say "Hey, how do you know Czar of the universe?"
- Okay, hey, Fatou, this is Nev.
- Right, you have to say that 'cause it's my account.
- Mm-hmm. We're doing an episode now...
- That involves... - Someone
you may know and could use your help.
Hit me up. - All right.
- This whole thing is very strange to me.
I don't have good vibes. Fatou messaged back.
- Ooh, what?
She said sorry, I'm at work.
I can't Zoom but I can do a phone call.
Okay. Oh.
- Fatou. - Hello.
- Yeah, hey, Fatou, it's--it's Nev.
Thank you for responding so quickly.
We came across your Instagram account.
And a comment left on a picture of a guy
whose username on Instagram is Dark [bleep].
- Oh, what's his name?
- Okay, that is your friend Roger?
- How long have you known him?
- Is he--wait, is he still married?
- Got it. But when was
the last time you talked to him?
- What was his job then,
like, when you last spoke to him?
We heard that he worked as, like, a government contractor.
- You can't say because you don't know
or you don't feel like you should say?
- Got it.
- Yeah, and also--
- Not--not at all actually.
We're trying to help someone
who has been talking to Roger.
And we're just trying to make sure Roger is,
you know, the guy he says he is,
but you guys have met in person.
You guys have hung out together?
- One of the things though, obviously,
that we were concerned about.
And one of the reason I didn't wanna bother him directly
was because we understood that he might be sick.
He had mentioned possibly cancer.
- Can I just read you the number
or part of the number, whatever, that we have?
And just Can you just say whether or not
that's the same number you have?
- Sure.
- What the [bleep] is going on? - I don't know; it's so weird.
It's possible-- what I said is possible.
He was married. - Or is.
- But could be going through a divorce.
Maybe isn't out, but also it is possible
that somebody knows about Roger and like,
took his pictures and uses his name,
or Fatou is full of [bleep].
- Right now, she's feeling full of [bleep].
- Yes, hey.
- That's--I understand.
- Okay.
- All right, bye-bye.
Is her boss, Roger?
That was weird. I don't know
if that makes me feel like we got any closer to the truth.
Or if we're further from the truth.
I feel like something icky -is happening..
- A lot going on right now. Things just got way weirder.
- Do you wanna come on my left,
just start to sing? Come.
Come...
Just three friends enjoying some potatoes.
- You don't want-- he doesn't want these, does he?
- No, no.
He thinks he does, but. Ooh.
Ew, oh, my God.
- Biggie... - He just drooled all over you.
- Ugh, okay, that's it. That's enough.
I'm sorry. - All right,
so yesterday was a little bit cuckoo.
Because in addition to discovering
that Roger does in fact have Instagram...
- Mm-hmm.
- The content on the Instagram
doesn't really match what Zark told us about Roger.
- Whatever Zark sees in him...
- Right. - It can't be this.
- And then we talked to Fatou.
- Who said she hung out with him and his wife.
- According to Fatou, he might still be married.
- Yeah. - So let me just text...
Jump in the Zoom, so we can chat.
Got a lot to talk about.
[Zoom chimes] Hey.
- Hi. - Hi, what's up?
- Hey, you seem a little more somber today.
- I couldn't even sleep last night 'cause I was like,
Oh, God, Oh, God. Oh, God.
But I'm trying to just hold it together
and, you know, I'm okay.
- Well, should we dive in?
- So we did some research, and we did find some stuff.
Maybe you can help us make some sense out of it.
And then we can decide what the best next step is?
- That sounds good.
- We took the phone number you have
and we ran a search and it came back
as registered to someone named Roger Casanova.
- Interesting.
- Now obviously, Casanova is not the name
you know him by,
but could it be that he used this name sort of as a joke?
- It just sounds made up. - Yeah.
- Right, and then we did something that we've started
doing more recently,
which was we put his phone number into Cashapp.
And when we did that there was a hit.
Do you see that?
- Oh, I do see that. Yes, says Roger something.
- It says Roger Datt. - Okay.
- And then underneath is a username which is Dark [bleep].
Now if he's going by Roger Datt,
or this Dark [bleep],
maybe we can search those usernames
and see if they pop up anywhere.
So when we searched Dark [bleep] on Instagram,
look what we found.
- That can't be him. There's no way.
- Why do you say that?
- He's given me so many lectures
about how he doesn't like social media
and he doesn't have time for it and--
- Well, he seems to have time for it.
- I can't even--
I'm like, I don't even know what to say right now.
- I'm going to warn you that you'll see as we go
through the pictures
that a lot of what he says and his captioning
on this account is like dark and mean and strange.
And it just didn't read to us
like something you would personally be attracted to.
- Okay.
- We'll take you on this roller coaster.
So here he says in the comments,
"Smiling violently at you haters that wanna see me down.
None of you cucks can take my joy away."
I don't know if this is like
the type of language he uses with you.
- No.
- But it felt kind of weird to us.
Here's another weird one of him
standing inside of the mouth of a sculpture.
And it says, "I'm always in someone's mouth.
Haters stay talking [bleep].
I wish you'd shut the [bleep] up damn good grief.
You know your mouth's a cage for your tongue
if you just close your teeth. Now shut up, bitch."
- I'm already done with this.
Like, I don't even wanna know anymore.
- We didn't even go over the bio.
The bio says, "If you're emotionally sensitive
and don't like what I post, then [bleep] off my profile,
and go play with your chili hole, simple as that.
I'm very direct and unapologetic."
- He should be apologetic, actually.
- It's offensive.
- I'm sorry if I turned red. I'm just embarrassed.
This is not at all what I'm exposed to
or used to or familiar with.
Like, this looks like an evil twin--like, I don't know.
That got deep really quick.
- So, so our first thought,
which I think is probably yours,
after kind of just the confusion was,
we need to verify if this account is even him.
So you know, we just sort of started
going through the comments. And this girl Fatou says,
"Haven't seen you in a suit in a while."
So we messaged Fatou. - Yeah.
- And we chatted. I told her,
we found you through the Dark [bleep] page.
Is that someone you know?
And she's like, "Yeah, that's my friend Roger.
We've been friends a really long time."
- So we asked her, you know,
have you hung out with him in person?
And she's like, "Yeah, I used to hang out with him
all the time with his wife."
Now, she said that they were having some issues
and that things were kind of all over the place.
So she wasn't sure... - She wasn't sure, right.
- If they were still married or not.
But back when she was hanging out with him,
he was married to a woman.
- I'm sorry, I really don't wanna cry right now.
I really don't--I'm really trying not to right now.
- When we asked her about his job,
and what he does,
she was like, well, I'm not sure.
And I said, Well, does he work in like government contracting?
She said, "I'm pretty sure he does not do that."
- And then when we asked Fatou, we heard that he had been sick,
like, do you know anything about him having cancer,
she said, "I don't believe that he's sick."
- But again, she hasn't really talked to him recently.
So, it's all--you know.
- He's dealing with this for a while though.
So it's not like it just came.
I don't know.
I...
- ♪ Now I can't sleep ♪
♪ On those words that you speak ♪
I don't know what to say.
- ♪ Like a knife that cuts deep, you spill my blood,
- I keep feeling so stupid.
Because yesterday, when you guys said,
"Oh, maybe he's married, that'sa wedding ring."
I was like, "There's no way."
And then...
- ♪ So can we keep chasing dreams ♪
- He has an Instagram and...
you know, has he been lying to me about being sick?
I'm, like, battling inside right now.
Like, part of me is like no, no, there has to be a reason.
There has to be, and then I'm like, no,
[bleep] the reason, like...
[sighs] I don't know.
- ♪ 'cause the words that you speak ♪
♪ Like a knife, they cut deep ♪
♪ And you spill my blood ♪
- I still wanna believe, as crazy as that sounds,
but I'm just gonna have to wait, I guess.
- ♪ Can we keep chasing dreams? ♪
- Yesterday when you guys said,
"Oh, maybe he's married. That's a wedding ring,"
I was like, "There's no way." And then he has an Instagram
and has he been lying to me about being sick.
It's just like, I wanna know why.
Simple, forget everything.-- I just wanna know why.
Why me?
Why come to me in this loving, adoring way?
Why are you doing this to me? You know what I'm saying?
- Well, what if, what if the answer to that
is "I really like you"?
- And it's him.
because then he should have been honest from the get-go.
like, I just need to just hear from him.
Like, you're a liar.
Why is that? What did I do to deserve this?
- The only way to get answers to these questions
is to reach out to Roger.
- I agree. - We've got his number.
[tense music]
- Do we wanna call?
- All right, well, let's try. Let me just see.
[line trilling]
- Please leave your message for...
- All right, let me text the number.
Hey, Roger.
This is Nev, would love to chat.
Thanks.
Okay, sent.
Let's just see if he gets back to us.
- Ooh, now we do the best part of our job.
Wait.
[phone chimes] Oh, oh.
- Roger wrote back.
He said, "I figured this call was coming.
How is Zark?"
- Okay. - It's an interesting response.
"I figured this call was coming," which to me suggests
that, like, he knows he's been deceiving you
in some way that would potentially result
in, like, being on a show, Catfish?
- But again, interestingly, and this is very unusual.
He asks, "How is Zark?"
Like he shows concern for your feelings.
So I'll say...
Oh, all right, he says, "I'm out right now.
I'd rather do this at home."
I understand.
When will you be home?
- I have a love-hate relationship
with the typing bubble.
Sometimes I wish it just wasn't there.
- Oh, he says, "If I leave right now,
"I can be home in an hour.
"And I'm sorry, but I think I need to do this at home,
- What is "this," though? What is "this"?
- Okay, we will give you one hour.
- Oh, you being spicy. - Can I send that?
- Go for it. - Yes.
Well, we got a little bit of time.
Let's hope that he shows his face.
And then you can figure out how you feel.
- Talk to you soon. Bye.
[sighs]
I just, I'm waiting for that explanation.
I really--I really am.
This is the person who I wanna be with
and this is the person who, you know, is for me.
I'm waiting to see how he's gonna explain all of this.
So...
I guess, I guess, I just have to wait.
- All right, hey. - Hey.
- Ohh. - Oh, man, you okay?
- No, I've just been sitting here thinking
I was just being lied to, really,
'cause it seemed like
I really knew this person and to find out
I don't actually know this person, you know?
- Oh, he texted us. He says, "I'm back."
So I guess that means he's home.
- Okay.
- I'm just gonna say okay, great.
We are in the Zoom now with Zark.
- Are we ready? - I'm trying to be ready.
- And hopefully, there's a reasonable explanation
for everything.
- How do I look? Do I look great?
- You look fabulous.
- Thank you, thank you.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[Zoom chimes]
- Roger, are you there?
- Oh. - Hello?
[Zoom chimes]
[tense dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Roger, are you there?
- Hello? - Ohh.
- Hi, Zark.
- Hi.
- It's nice to see you.
- I didn't mean
to drag it out this long or anything like that.
I was kinda nervous.
And I hope that you give me a chance to explain.
- Okay, explain yourself.
- What would you like me to explain?
- Well, so far it seems like almost everything
I know has been a lie, so.
- I have nothing to hide, obviously.
- Well, I just found that you have an Instagram,
even though you swore up
and down that social media is not for you.
That's shady.
- I mean, I didn't want you to, like,
look at my Instagram page
and it was kind of a way
to me, like, seeing your pictures on there too.
- Oh, so you've been stalking me on my page.
- It's not stalking. I was just looking.
- To make things worse,
you're a whole different person on Instagram.
- How can you-- - You're just so negative,
you're just so angry, you're just so full of hate.
You're not the person
who I speak to and can make me laugh.
You're out here saying all these vulgar things.
Is that who you are?
- You're judging me on a few posts and pictures,
or memes. So you know...
- Well, I think what's confusing is,
you are the person at least
that you presented yourself to be physically.
So what would be the reason
to not include Zark in that Instagram?
- I guess it was just more like,
I was trying to buy time.
- You say you were trying to buy time? What do you mean?
- Trying to buy time to like, have the nerve to, to meet.
- Two years wasn't enough time for you?
What do you need, five years? Ten years?
How much longer was I supposed to be dealing with this?
You're over here telling me
you're insecure because you're going through cancer,
and I'm finding out that's a lie.
- Well, excuse me, wait a minute,
I actually did go through cancer treatment,
and I was recovering.
You know, I kinda gained some weight.
I lost a little bit of hair. I was not feeling confident.
And then again, you know, you're younger than me.
So I was buying myself time.
- If you don't mind, Roger,
I think the conversation got off to a wonky start.
So your name is Roger [bleep]?
- Yes, yes, it is.
- Can you kind of fill us in on who you are,
what you do, where you live,
so that we can all be on the same page?
- I lied to you saying that I lived in Orlando.
I actually live in the DC area.
- Where exactly in DC area? 'cause I work in DC.
- About 15 minutes away from where you work.
I mean, if I woulda told you, you would have wanted to meet.
- For obvious reasons.
- Okay, so you live in DC.
You are 31. Is that correct?
- Um, well, I mean--
I told him I was 31.
I'm 45.
- Okay, 45 is-- that's a big difference.
You know, that's, that's-- you're--you're like,
at least 10 years older than you said you were.
That is a big thing that I would understand you
not wanting him to find out.
And what do you do?
- I-I told him that I worked for a government contract job
because most people in DC know that having those kinda jobs,
you can't have social media.
But I actually work for a doctor,
doing billing and coding. You're being mad.
But honestly, at the end of the day,
our conversations were real about everything,
except for the fact of how old I was and where I lived,
and what I did for a living.
- Do you wanna rethink that?
Because I just found out you're married to a woman.
- [laughs]
- How's--how's that going?
- Are you still married?
- Well, um...
No, I'm not married, actually.
I was married, but I don't speak with my ex-wife.
We don't have any children together.
That wasn't even important. Because there wasn't anything
that would struck, you know, where we were going.
- So just to understand,
you weren't hiding your social media
because of your former marriage,
you were hiding it
because you didn't want him following you or--
or seeing that because he would discover
that you were older or that you didn't work--
- I-I think he would have discovered
if he woulda seen me that I'm in the same area as him.
I lied, but listen,
at least I'm not giving you a fake picture
or asking you to send me money or anything like that.
- I think we could argue that you didn't give him
a fake picture visually of what you look like.
But you did give him a fake picture
of what your life is like.
- I understand that, but I was going through something.
I was just recovering from my cancer treatment.
I had a lot of weight gain.
So, of course, I was trying to lose weight,
because you're skinny.
And according to your Instagram,
you're a model and you do things.
So it's like I got self-conscious about it.
But honestly, at the end of the day,
I wasn't trying to hurt you.
It's nothing to be mad about.
- I mean, you can't really judge how I'm about to feel.
Like, I have every right to be upset.
You might not think it's a big deal, but it's--
To me, it's kind of like being blindsided.
- It's not blindsided, because I wasn't interfering
or hurting your life.
I didn't do anything to hurt you.
So it's not even a waste of time.
- That's subjective.
And that would be according to how Zark feels right now
and he looks like he's hurt. - Yeah, you're right.
Why don't we let Zark say how he feels?
- Do you love me? - I love you--of course, I do.
I understand you found out some lies and you're upset,
but at the same time...
I'm not a bad guy. You can't judge me.
- Look, we're not trying to call you a bad person,
but for you as a 43-year-old to go on Tinder,
say you're 31, it does say something about your character.
- I don't think that it's a bad character.
There's people doing worse things lying,
stealing, cheating.
I've never asked him for anything.
I understand that I've lied.
But at the same time, it wasn't something severe.
At least you didn't find out that I was a criminal
or I had eight children, or that I was still married.
- For sure.
- Everyone's threshold for worse is different.
- I guess. - Okay, wow.
Well, this is a lot of new information for Zark.
And if it's cool, I'd like to just take a minute,
separately, just as-- just to check in with Zark.
- Okay.
- How are you feeling right now?
- I don't know what to say.
It's just like a big, like, tornado in my head.
- He needs to stop saying it's not that bad of a lie.
A lie is a lie. It's not,
"Yeah, I lied about that, but I could've lied about this.
And I didn't lie about that." Do you want a [bleep] cookie?
Like, that's not how lying works.
This guy needs to take some [bleep] responsibility pronto.
- Right, that's what I'm saying.
I just need to just hear that from him.
But I don't know.
I don't even know what to believe right now.
- Right now, I'm at the point
where there's part of me that's like,
you're meeting this person for the first time,
basically, in a way.
And even after finding everything out,
like I still wanna,
you know, believe he's a good person,
I think I genuinely am curious.
- I just--I just want for you,
if you do choose to meet up with him,
that's completely up to you.
But just be conscious of when people are trying
to manipulate your emotions.
My instinct and my gut tells me
that he is using his maturity level
to manipulate the situation
and the way that you feel about what he's done.
- The other question is, do you wanna date a 45-year-old?
- I feel like this whole actual age difference,
I definitely feel like that's strange
and is something I'm new to,
but he was able to hold my attention for this long
and just being able to connect with somebody
that quickly on such a random and unusual way,
I think it's a good start.
- So look, let's bring him back in.
Why don't you say to him what you feel like you need to about
if you see this relationship continuing?
- I can do that.
- All right, let's bring Roger back.
[Zoom chimes]
- Hi. - All right, we're back.
- Well, I wanna start off to apologize to you, Zark,
for, you know, lying to you about everything.
It--it just kind of spun out of control,
but I apologize and I'm very sorry.
- I hear your apology. And...
I genuinely...believe you.
But it's been a roller coaster of emotions.
It's been like a whole brand-new...
side of you that I never knew existed.
I think I definitely need, like, a little bit of space.
But I'm willing to start over.
You've been nothing but good to me.
And I can see the care that you tell me.
I can see the love that you tell me.
I can see everything that you, you know, made me believe.
But with that being said,
I wanna see how you treat me in person.
I wanna see what side of you am I gonna see.
In the back of my head,
I'm always gonna be kind of like,
oh, should I trust this? Should I not?
But I think if I actually feel the love and care that you say,
then I think I'll be fully content
in moving this forward to start a new page.
- I feel--I feel that's fair.
I feel that's fair.
And, you know, I-I again, I extend another apology to you
because I wasn't trying to play games with you
or waste your time.
I'd still like to get to know you.
- But this time everything's on the table.
All the cards are out.
And of course one step at a time,
but this time we're gonna build from honesty.
Basically, we're starting all over again.
You don't know me. I don't know you.
We're meeting on Tinder again,
and we're going on our first date.
So that's how I'm looking at us.
- I'm looking forward to our--
I mean, what are we still doing on here?
Like, text me. [laughs]
- Um, I will text you when I'm ready.
- Okay.
- All right, look, I'm glad that we were able to do this.
It's very clear what things could have gone differently.
But the past is now the past. Here we are, fresh start.
I'm excited for you guys just to meet.
- I've been waiting.
- I've been waiting, actually.
I've been the one waiting.
- Yeah, you've been waiting.
- Let's not, let's not-- - You're right, you're right.
- Best of luck.
We look forward to hearing from you soon
and finding out how things pan out.
- Thank you. - Bye, Roger.
- You'll text me? You'll call me?
- We'll see. - You'll call me?
- Look at this, he doesn't wanna te--
Look at this. Wow.
[laughs]
- Wow, look, it's not exactly what you hoped it would be.
But I'm excited for you.
You seem like a person who's confident
and can handle himself. So make him work for it.
And I would just say be careful.
I would press him a little bit more
about his strange social media presence.
- He's not behaving like a 40-something-year-old man
should be behaving on social media.
- Right. - Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's one of the first topics we're discussing.
- And if it doesn't feel right, move on.
- Thank you, 'cause I don't know
how much longer I would have had to wait.
And now, you know, I hit him up when I hit him up.
He just got to deal with that.
- Speak to you soon, man.
- Bye, Zark. - Bye
- ♪ 'cause I know you think about me ♪
♪ 'cause I know you think about me ♪
♪ Still think about me ♪
- We've got Brittany
and she's in a crazy situation.
This [bleep] situation is [bleep].
- I've been in love with him for years.
- He sends you money?
- No, he's had me go to his house
to pick up like a care package that had alcohol, we--
- It's madness. - Ooh, he said, "Be careful."
What? - My heart is racing.
[Zoom chimes] - Hi.