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Fixed & Synced by bozxphd.Enjoy The Flick
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Lookie here.
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My day is made.
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I didn't even finish breakfast
and I get to kill me a stinkin' Injun.
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Injun?
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Nah.
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I just dress like this so's I don't get
scalped out on the prairie.
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Oh, well, that's a convincing outfit.
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Yeah, you can't be too safe out there...
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with all of them savages runnin' around.
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So, what can I do you for?
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Need some flour.
Five sacks.
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And a carrot with peanut butter on it.
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Now, what's that gonna run me?
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Well, sack of flour's 45 cents.
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So, five sacks...
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is 40...
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Wanna get back to me on that?
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Yeah, look...
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Now, the flour's in the basement.
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You can fetch it yourself.
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Much obliged.
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Well, lookie what we got here.
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Sweet piece of red prairie meat
out all by her lonesome.
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- What do you make of that, Nelly?
- Oh, I think she's waiting on you, Will.
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- Go on, get on it.
- It's on now.
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- Yeah.
- Go get her, Will.
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Oh, oh, oh.
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Here we go.
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Now, you must be wondering why five badass
hombres with perfect jawlines...
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all sport the same stylish eye patch.
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Not my business.
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We all carved our eyeballs
out our skull
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to show how devoted
we are to this gang.
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We the Left-Eye Boys!
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Yeah!
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Hey!
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You got real pretty eyes, miss.
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You reckon we can,
I don't know, borrow one?
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Can we borrow one?
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00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:26,760
Now, is that a proper question
to ask a lady?
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Who are you, slick?
The boyfriend?
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Soon to be the husband.
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Oh, wait a minute!
That's a white boy under that getup.
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That's a white boy? Oh, shit.
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You partial to pale faces, Poca-hot-tits?
47
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Huh?
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'Cause I can show you
what a real white man's like.
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- Yeah, show her, Will. Yeah, go on.
- Yeah, shuffle up, Will.
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- Dance now, boy.
- Shuffle on over.
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- There you go.
- That's some white boy shit right there.
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Now, I do want to carve my eyes out.
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- What'd you say?
- Hey, fellers...
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I'd hit the trail before you get hurt.
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Before we get hurt?
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Before we get hurt.
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I think you've been smokin' too much
of that peace pipe, kemo-slobby.
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Now, from what I see, there's one of you,
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and there's five of us.
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Four of you.
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What just happened?
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You wanna see it again?
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Uh... yes.
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- I don't like this shit.
- Shut up.
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Well, that's some, uh...
real fancy footwork.
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00:04:49,301 --> 00:04:53,430
But I think this hullabaloo has escalated
to the firearms stage.
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Boys, let's ventilate this.
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What the shit that just happened?
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What the hell?
What in the hell?
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"Hit the trail."
It was so simple.
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You must stop doing this, White Knife.
One day, there will be too many.
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But not today, Smoking Fox.
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Please, my love...
we must go.
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What the hell
happened out here?
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Injuns.
They went that way.
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You ain't no white man.
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You're that orphan, White Knife.
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Raised like an animal with those Apaches.
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You think you can fool ol' Clem?
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Sorry, Ringo.
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Well, now I'm gonna shoot you
and your Injun whore.
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Gotta cut breakfast short.
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You suck, mister!
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You suck!
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What are you?
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Yes, White Knife.
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Go, White Knife.
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Yay!
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You lucky, Smoking Fox.
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White Knife all man.
Bravest of all braves.
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Not brave. Foolish.
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I want to be wife, not widow.
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Afternoon, ladies.
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This is Apache land.
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I'm not here to take your land, Chief.
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I'm just looking for a particular boy.
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I'm Frank Stockburn.
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This boy's mother was my wife.
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And the boy, Tommy...
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he's my son.
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It is wise to be slow to trust,
White Knife.
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But every new journey begins
with a single step.
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Speak with your father.
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But you are my father,
Screaming Eagle.
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Ever since my mother...
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Ever since you found me...
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you taught me to hunt,
to fight...
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when to speak and when to be silent.
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- To be a man.
- A good man.
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And this Frank Stockburn,
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he is filled with lies,
just like every other white man.
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Sometimes, the white man speaks the truth.
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Like, one in 20, 25 times.
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I believe this is one of those times.
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He knew your mother, White Knife.
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Maybe he can give you some peace.
Talk to him.
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Maybe after I close my eyes to dream.
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Mommy!
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Oh, no.
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One look at me, and you knew your old man
had done a lot of bad things, didn't ya?
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I cheated men, I killed men...
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So I deserve whatever's comin' to me.
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The only one that ever saw any good in me
was your mother.
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Oh!
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Why have you come here?
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Not a man for chitchat, huh?
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Well, me neither.
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Kid, I'm dying...
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of consumption.
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Don't worry...
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I'm not looking
for no big father-son hoo-ah.
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"I love you, son."
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"I love you too, Daddy."
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No.
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I've come for a more tangible reason.
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Tommy, I've been stealing from folks
since I was nine years old...
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and that's the way I've amassed
a good little fortune.
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I wanna do something
decent with it.
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I want to give it to you, son.
140
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:29,576
I don't want your money.
141
00:11:31,036 --> 00:11:33,246
But maybe you could give...
142
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$50,000 to these nice Injuns
who raised you.
143
00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,002
We'll take it.
144
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:41,254
Go back to bed.
145
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Sorry.
146
00:11:42,964 --> 00:11:44,758
Seriously, though,
we'll take it.
147
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Look, it's buried in the meadow
just up the trail,
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next to a big ol' pine tree.
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What do you say
we go dig it up in the morning
150
00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:56,019
and start playing Santa Claus?
151
00:11:57,187 --> 00:11:59,773
I don't remember much about my mother...
152
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but I do remember her telling me...
153
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you were dead.
154
00:12:11,952 --> 00:12:14,538
Maybe it was because...
155
00:12:14,621 --> 00:12:17,958
she didn't want
you to come looking for me.
156
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:20,126
She was a smart lady.
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Only stupid thing she ever did
was fall for me.
158
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Meeting Betty Dunson...
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00:12:28,552 --> 00:12:31,763
was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.
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00:12:34,891 --> 00:12:38,186
From the first day I laid eyes on her...
161
00:12:38,854 --> 00:12:41,106
she was bawlin' out this...
162
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half-drunk, big ol' burly blacksmith...
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down at Silver Canyon.
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She's been the only one, Tommy.
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Mom had a temper?
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Temper?
When she got her dander up, look out.
167
00:13:06,757 --> 00:13:08,592
We was in a saloon once.
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This fellow sitting next to her
169
00:13:10,927 --> 00:13:15,932
starts talking about the perfect way
to make a cherry pie...
170
00:13:17,017 --> 00:13:20,812
So your mom says to me,
"Frank, come here a minute.
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Tell me again,
just where did you get them flowers?"
172
00:13:24,733 --> 00:13:28,779
I said, "I know that you think
I stole them from the graveyard."
173
00:13:30,614 --> 00:13:32,616
Good morning, boys.
174
00:13:33,534 --> 00:13:35,118
Morning, Never Wears Bra.
175
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I had dream about you last night,
White Knife.
176
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,956
Oh, that's nice.
177
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,291
Not nice dream.
178
00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:44,503
In dream, you naughty.
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You naughty, White Knife.
180
00:13:46,797 --> 00:13:49,049
Mmm, somebody's got an admirer.
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Yes, yes.
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00:13:51,259 --> 00:13:54,262
But like you,
there's only one woman for me.
183
00:13:58,725 --> 00:14:01,437
I guess we Stockburns are...
184
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,271
partial to the sweet ones.
185
00:14:03,354 --> 00:14:04,731
Yes, sir.
186
00:14:04,815 --> 00:14:06,608
Like your mother.
187
00:14:08,944 --> 00:14:11,404
How did she die, Tommy?
188
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You tell me?
189
00:14:14,866 --> 00:14:20,831
Well, there were these big kids at school
fixin' to beat me up.
190
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:26,878
Instead of facing them myself,
I had her walk me there.
191
00:14:27,754 --> 00:14:29,965
This feller comes out of nowhere...
192
00:14:30,841 --> 00:14:33,677
walks right up to her and shoots her dead.
193
00:14:35,429 --> 00:14:38,724
So that's how she died,
protecting her gutless son
194
00:14:38,807 --> 00:14:42,894
instead of being home,
safe where she belonged.
195
00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:51,194
Who's that?
Is that Bony Express?
196
00:14:51,862 --> 00:14:54,155
Bony Express
don't come around here.
197
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:57,743
Giddyap!
198
00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:12,173
He's here somewhere, boys.
199
00:15:12,257 --> 00:15:13,467
Let's burn him out!
200
00:15:15,051 --> 00:15:16,094
Oh...
201
00:15:16,177 --> 00:15:18,096
Next one goes through your forehead.
202
00:15:18,972 --> 00:15:21,933
Hey, hey!
No need to burn nothing, boys!
203
00:15:22,017 --> 00:15:24,019
Howdy, boss.
204
00:15:24,102 --> 00:15:25,228
Cicero...
205
00:15:26,688 --> 00:15:30,233
you're not gonna let a man
enjoy his retirement, are ya?
206
00:15:30,316 --> 00:15:34,863
No, Frank, I salute your decision
to turn from your sinful ways.
207
00:15:34,946 --> 00:15:36,698
But the money...
208
00:15:36,782 --> 00:15:38,492
that belongs to all of us.
209
00:15:38,575 --> 00:15:39,910
Touch that steel, boy,
210
00:15:39,993 --> 00:15:43,163
I got plenty of bullets left over
after I put one in...
211
00:15:46,124 --> 00:15:47,125
your father.
212
00:15:49,002 --> 00:15:52,088
Oh, you finally found your long lost son.
213
00:15:52,172 --> 00:15:55,509
Well, I sure hate to break up
this nice family reunion.
214
00:15:55,592 --> 00:15:58,887
So, why don't you give us
the money you stole
215
00:15:58,970 --> 00:16:01,765
before I put lead in your head.
216
00:16:07,854 --> 00:16:09,064
The money's buried.
217
00:16:09,648 --> 00:16:11,357
Way to run your mouth, son.
218
00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:12,859
It's buried?
219
00:16:12,943 --> 00:16:14,695
Yeah, I buried it.
220
00:16:14,778 --> 00:16:18,281
Deep in the ground...
next to a windmill.
221
00:16:18,364 --> 00:16:20,659
A windmill in the West...
222
00:16:20,742 --> 00:16:22,869
doesn't narrow it down much, Frank.
223
00:16:22,953 --> 00:16:25,330
Well, this is a special windmill.
224
00:16:26,414 --> 00:16:28,124
It's a singing windmill.
225
00:16:30,085 --> 00:16:31,502
A singing windmill!
226
00:16:34,089 --> 00:16:36,800
It's about a ten-day ride from here.
227
00:16:36,883 --> 00:16:39,928
I'll lead you to it presently
on one condition.
228
00:16:40,554 --> 00:16:42,347
You don't hurt my boy...
229
00:16:42,430 --> 00:16:45,851
or any of these kindly Injuns here.
230
00:16:47,518 --> 00:16:48,979
Let's ride, Frank.
231
00:17:01,032 --> 00:17:04,535
Frank, if that $50,000
isn't under that windmill,
232
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:06,329
I'm gonna bury you up to your neck
233
00:17:06,412 --> 00:17:08,999
and let the desert critters eat you alive.
234
00:17:09,082 --> 00:17:11,459
It's there, Cicero, it's there.
235
00:17:11,542 --> 00:17:15,255
I'm glad I got to meet Betty Dunson's son.
236
00:17:16,131 --> 00:17:18,424
You just stay here, Tommy.
237
00:17:18,508 --> 00:17:20,844
Enjoy your life
with your beautiful bride...
238
00:17:21,887 --> 00:17:25,974
amongst these majestic pine trees.
239
00:17:27,768 --> 00:17:29,310
Let's go!
240
00:17:50,248 --> 00:17:52,709
Well, that was uncool.
241
00:18:02,928 --> 00:18:05,180
White Knife, you must rest.
242
00:18:05,263 --> 00:18:06,723
How can I rest?
243
00:18:06,807 --> 00:18:10,476
When they get to the singing windmill
and find no money, they will kill him.
244
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:14,856
My son, there are too many trees
and too little time.
245
00:18:16,024 --> 00:18:19,527
Then I must get this $50,000 another way.
246
00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:23,531
How? By stealing?
There is no honor in that.
247
00:18:24,365 --> 00:18:28,954
Unless I steal from those
who have no honor.
248
00:18:29,037 --> 00:18:32,248
Ooh... I like that.
249
00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:34,250
But it is too dangerous.
250
00:18:34,334 --> 00:18:36,795
I will send ten of our
strongest braves with you.
251
00:18:36,878 --> 00:18:38,213
No.
252
00:18:38,296 --> 00:18:41,341
The braves would be treated too cruelly
in the white man's world.
253
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,634
A lot of them can pass for pale face.
254
00:18:43,719 --> 00:18:46,930
Raging Bear can actually do
a great impression of a white guy.
255
00:18:47,597 --> 00:18:50,976
Hey, guys, let's play with our chest hair
and eat potato chips.
256
00:18:53,770 --> 00:18:56,481
Wasn't that great?
Where does he come up with this stuff?
257
00:18:56,564 --> 00:19:00,318
That's very good, Bear,
but I must walk this path alone.
258
00:19:01,611 --> 00:19:05,240
My love...
I will get this money...
259
00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:07,617
bring it to the singing windmill,
260
00:19:07,701 --> 00:19:09,786
and be back in time for our wedding.
261
00:19:10,245 --> 00:19:11,747
I won't let you go.
262
00:19:12,706 --> 00:19:13,999
Those men are killers.
263
00:19:14,499 --> 00:19:18,378
I was a coward once
and my mother paid the price.
264
00:19:19,838 --> 00:19:22,716
That will not happen to my father.
265
00:19:40,525 --> 00:19:41,526
Whoa!
266
00:19:41,609 --> 00:19:43,779
Good morning.
267
00:19:43,862 --> 00:19:45,696
Where in the hell did you come from?
268
00:19:45,781 --> 00:19:47,866
I'm in a bit of a bind, boys.
269
00:19:47,949 --> 00:19:50,744
I rode all the way out here
to pan for gold
270
00:19:50,827 --> 00:19:52,871
and my horse up and died on me.
271
00:19:52,954 --> 00:19:54,455
How'd he die?
272
00:19:54,539 --> 00:19:56,166
Suicide.
273
00:19:56,249 --> 00:19:58,043
Drowned himself.
274
00:19:58,126 --> 00:20:01,504
Put his head in the stream
and just kept it there.
275
00:20:01,587 --> 00:20:03,173
Saddest thing you ever seen.
276
00:20:03,924 --> 00:20:05,175
It happens.
277
00:20:05,258 --> 00:20:08,219
Powers that be don't like to admit it,
but it happens.
278
00:20:09,012 --> 00:20:10,471
He looks like an honest white guy.
279
00:20:11,264 --> 00:20:12,307
Hop on.
280
00:20:13,141 --> 00:20:14,225
Much obliged.
281
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,645
Just drop me off
at the nearest town.
282
00:20:24,069 --> 00:20:25,278
Ladies and gentlemen,
gather around.
283
00:20:25,361 --> 00:20:28,448
Hear the wondrous effects
of Dr. Chubb's Vita Oil,
284
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,909
the miracle cure for 1001 ailments.
285
00:20:30,992 --> 00:20:32,828
Put the pep back in your...
286
00:20:33,453 --> 00:20:34,620
Who's this asshole?
287
00:20:48,885 --> 00:20:52,347
Well, now, look at this fella,
drinking from the horse trough.
288
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:53,431
Excuse me.
289
00:20:54,891 --> 00:20:55,934
You there!
290
00:20:57,352 --> 00:21:00,063
What you're doing is disgusting.
291
00:21:00,146 --> 00:21:02,482
That water is for our filthy horses.
292
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:06,862
Water flows from the sky spirit
for all its children.
293
00:21:06,945 --> 00:21:08,154
Isn't that right, cousin?
294
00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:12,200
We don't cotton to that peyote-smoking
nonsense around these parts.
295
00:21:12,283 --> 00:21:14,244
Do you hear me, "cousin"?
296
00:21:15,661 --> 00:21:18,581
Okay, William, come on back.
297
00:21:18,664 --> 00:21:20,125
Hey, amigo.
298
00:21:21,042 --> 00:21:22,752
You planning on staying in town?
299
00:21:23,669 --> 00:21:26,214
Might need a place
to lay my head for a bit.
300
00:21:34,472 --> 00:21:37,433
Sorry about that ugly man
that insulted you.
301
00:21:37,517 --> 00:21:41,646
He runs the bank, so he thinks
he's entitled to be mean to everyone.
302
00:21:41,729 --> 00:21:43,606
There's a bank in this town?
303
00:21:43,689 --> 00:21:45,400
Why? You wanna rob it?
304
00:21:45,483 --> 00:21:48,694
I look like a bank robber to you, ma'am?
305
00:21:48,778 --> 00:21:53,699
Funny, there's something about you that
reminds me of a certain bank robber.
306
00:21:54,325 --> 00:21:56,244
His name was Frank Stockburn.
307
00:21:57,620 --> 00:21:59,705
You know Frank Stockburn?
308
00:21:59,789 --> 00:22:01,875
"Know"? Like, in the biblical sense?
309
00:22:01,958 --> 00:22:05,378
No, ma'am.
You've met him before is what I'm asking.
310
00:22:05,461 --> 00:22:07,838
Yes, I met him.
311
00:22:07,923 --> 00:22:09,382
Then, 20 minutes later,
312
00:22:09,465 --> 00:22:12,928
I knew him in the biblical sense
on that bed, right there.
313
00:22:13,011 --> 00:22:14,012
Oh.
314
00:22:14,095 --> 00:22:18,975
And, I knew him, in the biblical sense,
twice on this railing.
315
00:22:19,059 --> 00:22:20,060
Uh-huh.
316
00:22:20,143 --> 00:22:24,480
And then, while doing a handstand
on that dresser you're leaning against.
317
00:22:26,816 --> 00:22:30,278
Did he happen to mention
a singing windmill?
318
00:22:30,361 --> 00:22:33,198
He did mention a singing windmill.
319
00:22:33,281 --> 00:22:36,159
He said it sounded like a choir of angels.
320
00:22:36,242 --> 00:22:37,953
Where'd he say it was?
321
00:22:38,036 --> 00:22:43,041
He said that it was in a place
where he made his biggest score.
322
00:22:43,124 --> 00:22:45,168
Whatever that was.
323
00:22:45,251 --> 00:22:46,502
And then he laughed.
324
00:22:46,586 --> 00:22:48,796
He liked to laugh...
325
00:22:48,879 --> 00:22:50,881
and have handstand sex.
326
00:22:50,966 --> 00:22:52,842
Yeah, we gotta get past that.
327
00:22:52,925 --> 00:22:54,177
I miss him.
328
00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:56,221
But he did leave me something
to remember him by.
329
00:22:56,304 --> 00:22:57,680
What's this?
330
00:22:57,763 --> 00:23:01,184
A niño, Ramon.
331
00:23:02,352 --> 00:23:04,395
I have a brother?
332
00:23:04,479 --> 00:23:08,441
Oh, Burro, we had many adventures
together, you and me.
333
00:23:08,524 --> 00:23:10,026
We're not getting any younger.
334
00:23:11,486 --> 00:23:14,197
At least we have our memories.
335
00:23:16,032 --> 00:23:19,995
Remember the two girls,
the sisters, in Deadwood?
336
00:23:20,078 --> 00:23:21,371
You liked the fat one.
337
00:23:23,123 --> 00:23:24,707
You know it's true.
338
00:23:24,790 --> 00:23:26,292
Ramon Lopez?
339
00:23:27,335 --> 00:23:28,628
Sí.
340
00:23:29,545 --> 00:23:34,425
I just came from conversating
with your mother, Esmerelda.
341
00:23:35,426 --> 00:23:39,430
We stumbled upon the fact that
your dad and my dad...
342
00:23:41,057 --> 00:23:42,767
are the same fella.
343
00:23:43,434 --> 00:23:44,935
Oh, that's neat.
344
00:23:45,561 --> 00:23:46,687
Yeah.
345
00:23:46,771 --> 00:23:48,981
Same father.
346
00:23:49,065 --> 00:23:51,151
Half-brothers.
347
00:23:51,234 --> 00:23:53,194
What do you think about that, Burro?
348
00:23:55,530 --> 00:23:56,906
So, how is Dad?
349
00:23:56,989 --> 00:24:00,076
Well, he went and got himself kidnapped,
350
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,996
and I need to come up with $50,000
to save his life.
351
00:24:04,872 --> 00:24:06,457
That's a lot of pesos.
352
00:24:06,541 --> 00:24:07,667
Sure is.
353
00:24:08,584 --> 00:24:11,962
That's why I'm fixin'
to rob the bank here in town.
354
00:24:13,131 --> 00:24:14,299
Hang on.
355
00:24:15,466 --> 00:24:17,968
My father is in trouble.
356
00:24:18,053 --> 00:24:20,971
My brother, he needs my help.
357
00:24:22,598 --> 00:24:24,684
I'll rob the bank with you.
358
00:24:24,767 --> 00:24:26,686
I must do this alone.
359
00:24:29,522 --> 00:24:31,316
What's happening right now?
360
00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:35,320
Ever since I'm pequeño,
361
00:24:35,403 --> 00:24:40,158
I dream about spending
one magical day with mi padre,
362
00:24:40,241 --> 00:24:44,120
sharing meals,
introducing him to the burro.
363
00:24:46,247 --> 00:24:50,000
I will not let go of you
until you say I can help you.
364
00:24:56,382 --> 00:24:59,719
Will you stop brushing me
if I say yes?
365
00:24:59,802 --> 00:25:00,886
Yes.
366
00:25:02,847 --> 00:25:04,307
Then you can help.
367
00:25:17,695 --> 00:25:19,864
That means he likes you.
368
00:25:37,923 --> 00:25:40,801
That's a good amount of money
you want us to lend you.
369
00:25:40,885 --> 00:25:43,929
Now, normally, we would require
two forms of identification, madam,
370
00:25:44,013 --> 00:25:46,974
but that won't be necessary in your case.
371
00:25:47,057 --> 00:25:49,977
I feel kinda guilty about this, Burro,
372
00:25:50,060 --> 00:25:51,896
taking money from nice people.
373
00:25:51,979 --> 00:25:54,315
I mean, it's not like
you're some greasy Mexican.
374
00:25:56,234 --> 00:25:57,693
I feel less guilty now.
375
00:25:59,612 --> 00:26:01,489
What are you doing?
376
00:26:01,572 --> 00:26:03,491
This is a bank!
377
00:26:03,574 --> 00:26:05,326
Get that donkey out of here!
378
00:26:05,410 --> 00:26:07,119
It is a burro, señor.
379
00:26:07,203 --> 00:26:09,997
I don't care, "señor."
Get it out!
380
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,832
All right.
Vámonos.
381
00:26:14,169 --> 00:26:15,711
The burro don't want to vámonos.
382
00:26:15,795 --> 00:26:19,674
Well, I don't really care
what the burro wants.
383
00:26:22,593 --> 00:26:25,638
Get out of my bank, you beast!
384
00:26:25,721 --> 00:26:28,183
I know what you're thinking,
but not yet.
385
00:26:28,266 --> 00:26:29,559
Hold it.
386
00:26:29,642 --> 00:26:31,561
Move!
387
00:26:43,030 --> 00:26:45,575
How is this jackass stuck?
388
00:26:45,658 --> 00:26:48,453
If it got in here,
it can certainly get out!
389
00:26:48,536 --> 00:26:51,247
It doesn't make sense,
it's not logical.
390
00:26:52,540 --> 00:26:54,250
They got it locked up good,
do they?
391
00:26:54,334 --> 00:26:57,670
Oh! You are leaving!
392
00:27:01,299 --> 00:27:04,219
Gall dang,
he felled on his pooper!
393
00:27:17,815 --> 00:27:20,150
- That makes no sense!
- I apologize.
394
00:27:20,235 --> 00:27:22,570
- I don't know how many times I could...
- Hey, friend.
395
00:27:22,653 --> 00:27:24,489
Need any help gettin' her out?
396
00:27:25,155 --> 00:27:27,199
She's not
really stuck, amigo.
397
00:27:27,283 --> 00:27:28,868
She's just a diversion.
398
00:27:28,951 --> 00:27:31,078
She's a virgin?
399
00:27:31,161 --> 00:27:33,248
I'm a virgin, too...
400
00:27:33,331 --> 00:27:35,291
unless you count canty-loupes.
401
00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:38,378
I believe that,
but she's a diversion
402
00:27:38,461 --> 00:27:40,045
to keep the banker busy
403
00:27:40,129 --> 00:27:42,798
so that my brother has time
to rob the bank.
404
00:27:42,882 --> 00:27:44,967
You're robbin' the bank?
405
00:27:45,050 --> 00:27:46,761
- Gall dang!
- Shh, shh.
406
00:27:46,844 --> 00:27:49,347
Gall dang.
Gall dang. Gall dang.
407
00:27:58,773 --> 00:28:00,149
Oh, no. Oh, no.
408
00:28:02,610 --> 00:28:04,987
No! Virgil! Virgil, the key!
409
00:28:07,823 --> 00:28:09,325
I'm Lil Pete.
410
00:28:09,409 --> 00:28:11,035
So, is your father, like, Big Pete?
411
00:28:11,118 --> 00:28:13,120
I didn't know my pa.
412
00:28:13,203 --> 00:28:16,541
But he was a bank robber like y'all!
His name was Frank.
413
00:28:17,333 --> 00:28:19,460
- Stockburn?
- How'd you know?
414
00:28:20,878 --> 00:28:22,212
Are you a wizard?
415
00:28:25,925 --> 00:28:27,552
Hey, Johnny Law.
416
00:28:27,635 --> 00:28:31,389
We'll be waiting for you
up at Jawbone Falls.
417
00:28:31,472 --> 00:28:32,973
Frank Stockburn.
418
00:28:33,641 --> 00:28:34,642
What?
419
00:28:34,725 --> 00:28:35,851
Robbery!
420
00:28:35,935 --> 00:28:38,187
We're being burgled!
421
00:28:38,979 --> 00:28:41,691
You! Horse-water-drinker!
422
00:28:41,774 --> 00:28:43,108
You are caught, sir!
423
00:28:53,953 --> 00:28:55,120
Oh!
424
00:28:55,204 --> 00:28:56,872
What are you?
425
00:28:57,540 --> 00:29:00,668
Hey, Tommy, guess what?
We got ourselves a little brother.
426
00:29:00,751 --> 00:29:03,879
Yeah! All our moms got porked
by the same outlaw.
427
00:29:03,963 --> 00:29:05,840
- Ain't that a pip?
- Yeah, that's something.
428
00:29:05,923 --> 00:29:08,718
Hey! Those bandidos just robbed the bank!
429
00:29:11,637 --> 00:29:14,014
Taste my bullets,
you dirty foreigners!
430
00:29:14,098 --> 00:29:15,558
Now!
431
00:29:20,020 --> 00:29:21,356
- Nice one, Burro.
- Wow!
432
00:29:21,439 --> 00:29:22,732
- There they are!
- We better make tracks.
433
00:29:22,815 --> 00:29:24,317
Can I come with?
I got a wagon.
434
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,276
All right, that ain't a bad idea,
let's go.
435
00:29:26,361 --> 00:29:27,862
Vámonos. Come on!
436
00:29:28,904 --> 00:29:30,615
So, if you guys are
my brothers,
437
00:29:30,698 --> 00:29:32,450
you must got three nipples, too.
438
00:29:32,533 --> 00:29:33,743
I only got two.
439
00:29:33,826 --> 00:29:35,370
Yeah, just got the two.
440
00:29:35,453 --> 00:29:37,663
Oh, must be
from my mama's side.
441
00:29:37,747 --> 00:29:39,624
Forget I tolded you that, okay?
442
00:29:39,707 --> 00:29:40,791
Will do.
443
00:29:42,668 --> 00:29:44,086
Are you ready, Clem?
444
00:29:45,295 --> 00:29:47,673
Yep, yep. I'm... I'm ready.
445
00:29:53,846 --> 00:29:55,055
Spoon.
446
00:29:56,807 --> 00:29:58,100
Damn sharp.
447
00:30:03,564 --> 00:30:09,194
Look, fellas, I wanna hunt
this white Injun down same as you.
448
00:30:09,278 --> 00:30:11,030
But, uh... I...
449
00:30:12,281 --> 00:30:14,367
I have some problems with my eyes.
450
00:30:14,450 --> 00:30:18,454
You wanna join the Left-Eye Gang,
that right eye has gotta come out.
451
00:30:18,538 --> 00:30:20,540
It'll only hurt for a second.
452
00:30:20,623 --> 00:30:23,208
Yeah, like a hundred seconds.
453
00:30:23,292 --> 00:30:26,170
- Then you're one of us.
- For life.
454
00:30:27,129 --> 00:30:29,214
Okay, that makes sense.
455
00:30:31,216 --> 00:30:35,012
Is it okay if I scoop this left eye out?
456
00:30:35,095 --> 00:30:36,847
This is... I'm basically blind here.
457
00:30:36,931 --> 00:30:39,099
This right one sees like an eagle.
458
00:30:39,183 --> 00:30:42,102
Yeah, it just seems
like a waste that I'd...
459
00:30:42,186 --> 00:30:45,523
I understand your predicament,
but rules is rules.
460
00:30:45,606 --> 00:30:48,108
Yeah, guess it... makes sense.
461
00:30:53,573 --> 00:30:55,032
Oh, God!
462
00:30:55,115 --> 00:30:57,493
Hell, no!
463
00:30:57,577 --> 00:31:00,287
That ain't right!
464
00:31:01,205 --> 00:31:02,707
Damn!
465
00:31:02,790 --> 00:31:04,124
It's half way.
466
00:31:04,208 --> 00:31:06,001
- It's dangling by a vein!
- Whoo! Oh, man!
467
00:31:06,085 --> 00:31:08,378
It's crazy,
I can still see out of it!
468
00:31:08,463 --> 00:31:09,880
- Goddamn, it hurts!
- I think I'm gonna puke.
469
00:31:09,964 --> 00:31:13,258
It's just going round and round like
a tassel on a stripper's titty!
470
00:31:13,342 --> 00:31:14,927
Okay, gotta get it, gotta get it!
471
00:31:15,010 --> 00:31:16,554
I'm getting dizzy!
472
00:31:16,637 --> 00:31:18,305
Got it, got it, got it!
473
00:31:18,388 --> 00:31:19,389
Yeah!
474
00:31:19,474 --> 00:31:21,183
Ah!
475
00:31:21,266 --> 00:31:24,144
Oh, Lord! Holy shit.
476
00:31:25,229 --> 00:31:29,024
You done it, partner.
Welcome to the Left-Eye Gang.
477
00:31:29,108 --> 00:31:30,150
Whoo!
478
00:31:30,234 --> 00:31:31,486
I did it!
479
00:31:31,569 --> 00:31:34,655
I'm glad that's done.
480
00:31:34,739 --> 00:31:37,617
Let's just go get that
Injun-loving son of a bitch, huh?
481
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:38,743
Yeah.
482
00:31:38,826 --> 00:31:40,911
- Yeah! Let's get him.
- Yeah.
483
00:31:40,995 --> 00:31:43,205
Like, so...
484
00:31:43,288 --> 00:31:45,374
Oh, I touched the hole.
I touched the hole!
485
00:31:47,877 --> 00:31:50,254
Got me a patch!
486
00:31:53,340 --> 00:31:56,135
Dear Mama,
you may be wondering
487
00:31:56,218 --> 00:32:00,389
why I have not returned
from my trip to the ice cream store.
488
00:32:00,473 --> 00:32:04,852
It's because I met my brothers,
Ramon and Tommy.
489
00:32:04,935 --> 00:32:07,104
And we're trying to steal money.
490
00:32:07,187 --> 00:32:10,733
We need the money
to give to the bad men
491
00:32:10,816 --> 00:32:15,655
who took Pa away
to the land of the singing windmill.
492
00:32:15,738 --> 00:32:20,618
Tommy says it's not okay
to take money from decent folks.
493
00:32:20,701 --> 00:32:21,702
I got the money!
494
00:32:21,786 --> 00:32:24,539
Luckily, there's a lot of bad people
here in the West.
495
00:32:24,622 --> 00:32:26,206
Yee-haw!
496
00:32:26,290 --> 00:32:27,500
Let's ride!
497
00:32:30,503 --> 00:32:33,005
Eat it! You know you like it.
498
00:32:33,088 --> 00:32:34,799
You know you like it.
499
00:32:35,424 --> 00:32:36,676
Good God!
500
00:32:36,759 --> 00:32:39,261
Good burro!
501
00:32:39,344 --> 00:32:40,596
That's right.
502
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:41,681
Enjoy it!
503
00:32:42,682 --> 00:32:45,184
- That's just wrong.
- Yeah, yeah.
504
00:32:45,267 --> 00:32:46,268
Is it?
505
00:33:01,116 --> 00:33:04,453
This is so much better
than the cantaloupe.
506
00:33:08,666 --> 00:33:10,543
Good burro!
507
00:33:10,626 --> 00:33:13,378
Slowly, but surely,
508
00:33:13,462 --> 00:33:18,217
we're chippin' away
at the $50,000 we need to save Pa.
509
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:20,720
That's a lot of money,
isn't it, Mama?
510
00:33:22,387 --> 00:33:23,430
Mama?
511
00:33:25,182 --> 00:33:29,562
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm writing you a letter.
512
00:33:30,688 --> 00:33:34,900
Anyways, I can't wait
to actually meet my pa.
513
00:33:34,984 --> 00:33:37,527
I want him to teach me
how you make babies.
514
00:33:37,612 --> 00:33:41,073
And how the lady poops 'em out.
515
00:33:41,156 --> 00:33:43,618
Be home quick as I can.
516
00:33:43,701 --> 00:33:46,912
Your loving son, Lil Pete.
517
00:34:11,228 --> 00:34:12,479
Tommy?
518
00:34:12,562 --> 00:34:14,356
Yeah, Lil Pete?
519
00:34:15,274 --> 00:34:17,192
Where's the singing windmill?
520
00:34:17,276 --> 00:34:19,820
It's where dad made
his biggest score.
521
00:34:21,238 --> 00:34:23,991
Maybe we'll get another clue
up at Jawbone Falls.
522
00:34:24,074 --> 00:34:27,494
That's where he used to hide out
when he was an outlaw.
523
00:34:27,577 --> 00:34:30,706
Oh, cool beans.
524
00:34:34,376 --> 00:34:35,628
Tommy?
525
00:34:35,711 --> 00:34:37,630
Yeah, Lil Pete?
526
00:34:38,588 --> 00:34:40,590
If we get caught stealing...
527
00:34:41,258 --> 00:34:42,968
would we be in trouble?
528
00:34:46,096 --> 00:34:47,556
I reckon we'll hang.
529
00:34:50,851 --> 00:34:53,478
Well... that's no bother.
530
00:34:54,563 --> 00:34:56,481
I got a real strong neck.
531
00:34:56,565 --> 00:35:00,527
Mama makes me pull the plow with my head
if I don't finish my schoolwork.
532
00:35:01,611 --> 00:35:03,280
Which occurs regularilly.
533
00:35:05,282 --> 00:35:07,910
Strong neck might come in handy.
534
00:35:07,993 --> 00:35:10,871
Okay, let's get our rest.
535
00:35:12,414 --> 00:35:14,333
Good night, Tommy.
536
00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:17,086
Good night, Lil Pete.
537
00:35:17,169 --> 00:35:19,588
Good night, Ramon.
538
00:35:19,672 --> 00:35:21,090
Good night, brothers.
539
00:35:22,091 --> 00:35:23,258
Good night, Burro.
540
00:35:27,512 --> 00:35:29,223
That's a dry one.
541
00:35:29,306 --> 00:35:31,266
We will have good dry weather tomorrow.
542
00:35:44,989 --> 00:35:46,531
Shoo, fly!
543
00:35:46,615 --> 00:35:47,742
Shoo!
544
00:35:50,244 --> 00:35:53,372
Oh, come on, fly, vámonos!
We need our sleep.
545
00:35:57,167 --> 00:35:59,378
Let me take care of this.
546
00:35:59,461 --> 00:36:01,213
How can you see a fly in the dark?
547
00:36:01,296 --> 00:36:04,549
A true hunter sees
with all his senses.
548
00:36:09,930 --> 00:36:12,057
That was some mystical shit, man.
549
00:36:15,519 --> 00:36:16,603
Uh-oh.
550
00:36:16,686 --> 00:36:19,064
I think you just nicked his biscuits off.
551
00:36:19,148 --> 00:36:21,316
That's what I was aiming for.
552
00:36:22,317 --> 00:36:24,069
He didn't deserve to die.
553
00:36:24,862 --> 00:36:27,656
He deserved to know
he was not welcome here.
554
00:36:27,740 --> 00:36:30,617
Raised by Indians, huh?
555
00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:32,787
That had some impact on you.
556
00:36:35,956 --> 00:36:37,833
Well, let me get this one.
557
00:36:46,008 --> 00:36:47,927
Sounded like a horse fly.
558
00:36:48,010 --> 00:36:50,805
That wasn't a horse fly,
that was my horse!
559
00:36:50,888 --> 00:36:52,347
Peanut?
560
00:36:52,431 --> 00:36:54,224
Oh, Peanut!
561
00:36:55,725 --> 00:36:58,520
Oh, the burro's gonna be pissed.
562
00:36:59,729 --> 00:37:01,273
You're doing bueno, Burro!
563
00:37:01,356 --> 00:37:04,234
Don't be intimidated by the horse,
you're just as good as him.
564
00:37:04,318 --> 00:37:06,236
I'm so hungry.
565
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,447
There's breakfast all around.
566
00:37:08,530 --> 00:37:13,327
Nuts, berries, bark,
different kinds of mud.
567
00:37:13,410 --> 00:37:15,579
I wish there were taco trees.
568
00:37:15,662 --> 00:37:17,122
What's a taco?
569
00:37:17,206 --> 00:37:18,623
They're the best.
570
00:37:18,707 --> 00:37:22,336
Meat and cheese and tomatoes
in a crispy shell.
571
00:37:22,419 --> 00:37:23,838
You'd love it, man.
572
00:37:23,921 --> 00:37:26,340
Ooh, I want one.
I want 50.
573
00:37:26,423 --> 00:37:29,093
Hate to put an end
to this fascinating conversation,
574
00:37:29,176 --> 00:37:30,177
but we're here.
575
00:37:30,260 --> 00:37:32,847
Jawbone Falls.
576
00:37:35,015 --> 00:37:37,559
And there's a mansion next to it!
577
00:37:45,317 --> 00:37:46,776
Should we just go in?
578
00:37:47,862 --> 00:37:49,696
I reckon.
579
00:37:59,206 --> 00:38:00,249
Hello?
580
00:38:02,709 --> 00:38:03,752
Hola.
581
00:38:07,131 --> 00:38:10,384
Well, this is cozy.
582
00:38:17,141 --> 00:38:18,225
Hello?
583
00:38:27,734 --> 00:38:29,403
Hold on!
584
00:38:29,486 --> 00:38:31,238
Tommy!
585
00:38:39,079 --> 00:38:41,999
Stop! Leave my brother alone!
586
00:38:42,082 --> 00:38:44,168
No, no, no!
587
00:38:44,251 --> 00:38:46,461
Simon says, "Stop!"
588
00:38:46,545 --> 00:38:49,089
Don't hurt my brother!
589
00:38:50,215 --> 00:38:51,300
- Stop!
- Huh?
590
00:38:57,389 --> 00:38:58,723
Good thinking, Tommy.
591
00:38:58,807 --> 00:38:59,808
All right.
592
00:38:59,892 --> 00:39:02,102
Not for me, but good one, Tommy.
593
00:39:04,229 --> 00:39:06,856
Settle, settle, watch it...
594
00:39:06,941 --> 00:39:08,901
It's all right, it's all right...
595
00:39:10,860 --> 00:39:12,029
We don't mean no harm.
596
00:39:12,112 --> 00:39:15,240
- We're just looking for our dad.
- Sí.
597
00:39:15,324 --> 00:39:16,825
Is this your place?
598
00:39:18,327 --> 00:39:19,619
Whose place is it?
599
00:39:24,124 --> 00:39:25,292
Your mother?
600
00:39:25,375 --> 00:39:27,836
Oh, is she here right now?
601
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,216
Oh, she's dead.
602
00:39:33,842 --> 00:39:36,053
I'm so sorry,
I'm sure she was a good woman.
603
00:39:37,512 --> 00:39:38,763
She died three years ago?
604
00:39:39,974 --> 00:39:41,016
Three months ago?
605
00:39:42,977 --> 00:39:45,645
Oh, your mama has three nipples?
606
00:39:45,729 --> 00:39:46,855
Huh?
607
00:39:49,733 --> 00:39:52,486
Yeah, there's three of us.
608
00:39:52,569 --> 00:39:54,821
- Three of us, sí.
- Okay. Okay.
609
00:39:54,904 --> 00:39:56,698
Claro, tres. Sí. Sí.
610
00:39:58,700 --> 00:39:59,701
Whoo-hoo!
611
00:39:59,784 --> 00:40:02,454
You and your mom were making
moonshine up here, huh?
612
00:40:02,537 --> 00:40:04,206
Much obliged.
613
00:40:04,914 --> 00:40:05,915
Gracias.
614
00:40:07,084 --> 00:40:10,462
Making moonshine for Frank Stockburn?
615
00:40:10,545 --> 00:40:12,089
You know Frank Stockburn?
616
00:40:15,092 --> 00:40:16,343
He slept here?
617
00:40:18,012 --> 00:40:19,179
With your mama?
618
00:40:25,435 --> 00:40:26,436
Okay.
619
00:40:32,484 --> 00:40:35,820
Your mama was an owl.
620
00:40:35,904 --> 00:40:39,158
No, our dad made his mom
make owl noises.
621
00:40:39,241 --> 00:40:40,534
Huh?
622
00:40:40,617 --> 00:40:44,871
Yeah, that's right, friend.
We're your brothers.
623
00:40:46,165 --> 00:40:47,957
Gall dang!
624
00:40:55,632 --> 00:40:56,633
Okay.
625
00:40:56,716 --> 00:40:59,011
- Down the hatch, boys!
- Salud. Salud.
626
00:41:01,430 --> 00:41:03,057
What's your name, anyways?
627
00:41:10,855 --> 00:41:15,360
H... R... M...
628
00:41:16,403 --> 00:41:19,281
Squiggly line, asterisk.
629
00:41:21,741 --> 00:41:23,285
How 'bout we just call you Herm?
630
00:41:24,953 --> 00:41:26,996
Herm, so you know,
631
00:41:27,081 --> 00:41:30,625
our dad was kidnapped
by some bad muchachos.
632
00:41:30,709 --> 00:41:32,127
Yeah,
633
00:41:32,211 --> 00:41:34,588
we need money to get him back.
634
00:41:34,671 --> 00:41:36,631
So we're going to steal the money.
635
00:41:39,093 --> 00:41:42,221
No, we're only stealing the money
from folks what are bad.
636
00:41:42,304 --> 00:41:43,722
Hmm...
637
00:41:45,099 --> 00:41:49,853
So do you know of any place where we could
steal a lot of money from some bad folks?
638
00:41:49,936 --> 00:41:51,563
Mmm...
639
00:41:53,273 --> 00:41:54,441
He's got something.
640
00:41:58,153 --> 00:42:00,864
The Gold Nugget Saloon, huh?
641
00:42:01,990 --> 00:42:03,325
I reckon you're coming with us?
642
00:42:07,912 --> 00:42:10,249
Smoking Fox
so worried about White Knife.
643
00:42:10,332 --> 00:42:12,292
We must get her to eat something.
644
00:42:12,376 --> 00:42:15,587
Oh, we having a little picnic here, huh?
645
00:42:15,670 --> 00:42:17,714
You have no right to be here!
This Apache land!
646
00:42:17,797 --> 00:42:20,384
And what you gonna do about it,
beaver breath?
647
00:42:20,467 --> 00:42:22,177
How he know my name?
648
00:42:22,261 --> 00:42:24,721
That's really her name!
649
00:42:27,641 --> 00:42:30,352
Yeah, I think you also could have
gone with "Face Like Witch."
650
00:42:30,435 --> 00:42:32,104
Or "Eats Like Pig."
651
00:42:32,187 --> 00:42:33,897
Or "Hit In Face With Diarrhea Stick."
652
00:42:35,690 --> 00:42:38,735
That's it? Nobody else?
Babyface? Stumbles?
653
00:42:38,818 --> 00:42:41,863
Hey, boss! Look what I got here!
654
00:42:41,946 --> 00:42:44,991
He ain't gonna be
happy about this.
655
00:42:45,074 --> 00:42:48,245
Well, well, well.
656
00:42:54,709 --> 00:42:57,587
Yep, used to be a prosperous town.
657
00:42:57,671 --> 00:43:02,301
Then the gold mine dried up
and the train stopped stopping.
658
00:43:02,384 --> 00:43:05,887
The saloon's the only place left that
still does a good business.
659
00:43:05,970 --> 00:43:10,267
Open day and night since they built it.
Ain't even a lock on the front door.
660
00:43:10,350 --> 00:43:11,601
It never closes.
661
00:43:13,478 --> 00:43:15,939
They got a big ol' golden nugget
hanging above the fireplace.
662
00:43:16,022 --> 00:43:18,024
Folks come from all over
just to take a look.
663
00:43:18,107 --> 00:43:21,110
They say it's worth about $20,000, easy.
664
00:43:22,571 --> 00:43:23,655
All right.
665
00:43:27,951 --> 00:43:31,746
I'm surprised no one's ever tried
to stolen that nugget.
666
00:43:31,830 --> 00:43:33,623
Oh, folks have tried.
667
00:43:33,707 --> 00:43:36,918
If you go in there, you see their thumbs
hanging above the bar.
668
00:43:37,001 --> 00:43:39,087
Smiley Harris, the owner,
bit them clean off.
669
00:43:39,171 --> 00:43:40,922
So nobody messes with Smiley.
670
00:43:45,594 --> 00:43:47,179
That sort of tickled.
671
00:43:47,262 --> 00:43:49,973
What we got going over here, friend?
672
00:43:50,056 --> 00:43:52,309
Just open your robe, please.
673
00:43:54,519 --> 00:43:56,020
Ooh...
674
00:43:56,104 --> 00:43:58,815
I have never seen that big of a rash...
675
00:43:58,898 --> 00:44:00,609
or infection
676
00:44:00,692 --> 00:44:03,903
or whatever this green bubble is.
677
00:44:03,987 --> 00:44:05,489
Hmm.
678
00:44:05,572 --> 00:44:06,656
All right.
679
00:44:09,201 --> 00:44:10,202
Yeah.
680
00:44:14,331 --> 00:44:17,667
Now, son, I would simply recommend
that you stop doing
681
00:44:17,751 --> 00:44:20,003
whatever it is you've been doing,
682
00:44:20,086 --> 00:44:22,256
with whoever...
683
00:44:22,339 --> 00:44:24,841
or whatever you've been doing it with.
684
00:44:33,392 --> 00:44:35,269
Yep, now they call him Smiley,
685
00:44:35,352 --> 00:44:39,398
'cause even when committing
the most unspeakable atrocities,
686
00:44:39,481 --> 00:44:42,526
a cheerful grin never leaves his face.
687
00:44:44,486 --> 00:44:46,738
All right, just lift your tail
for me, please.
688
00:44:48,282 --> 00:44:50,409
Now, he's why that nugget
has never been stolen.
689
00:44:51,535 --> 00:44:53,453
And never will be stolen.
690
00:44:58,458 --> 00:45:00,335
This'll prevent infection.
691
00:45:04,881 --> 00:45:06,633
It tastes good, too.
692
00:45:06,716 --> 00:45:11,971
This Smiley fella, sounds more like
a hooligan than a barkeep.
693
00:45:12,055 --> 00:45:13,307
You're not far off.
694
00:45:13,390 --> 00:45:15,058
Rumor has it that back in the old days
695
00:45:15,141 --> 00:45:17,185
he used to run
with the Frank Stockburn Gang.
696
00:45:18,853 --> 00:45:20,229
Lip balm?
697
00:45:20,314 --> 00:45:22,441
I reckon I'm good.
698
00:45:31,032 --> 00:45:34,328
♪ For breakfast
My baby bakes my biscuits ♪
699
00:45:34,411 --> 00:45:37,456
♪ At lunchtime
She puts honey in my tea ♪
700
00:45:37,539 --> 00:45:38,873
Come on, champ!
701
00:45:38,957 --> 00:45:42,711
♪ For supper
She butters up my corn cob ♪
702
00:45:42,794 --> 00:45:45,547
♪ And for dessert
She gives that pudding to me ♪
703
00:45:46,756 --> 00:45:49,801
♪ My baby knows my eggs are over easy ♪
704
00:45:50,885 --> 00:45:53,805
♪ She lets me cut her coffee
with my cream ♪
705
00:45:54,556 --> 00:45:58,352
♪ I've got a hankering
for some cherry pie ♪
706
00:45:58,435 --> 00:46:02,146
♪ My baby always licks the ladle clean ♪
707
00:46:05,692 --> 00:46:08,737
That Smiley fellow,
he don't joke around.
708
00:46:08,820 --> 00:46:10,364
Oh... I joke around...
709
00:46:11,072 --> 00:46:12,782
but never when it comes to my business.
710
00:46:12,866 --> 00:46:15,243
Welcome to the Gold Nugget, gentlemen.
711
00:46:15,326 --> 00:46:18,580
Mr. Harris,
it's quite a nice spread you got here.
712
00:46:18,663 --> 00:46:20,624
So what brings you gentlemen to town?
713
00:46:20,707 --> 00:46:25,169
Actually, we wanted to ask you
about something, Mr. Harris.
714
00:46:25,253 --> 00:46:26,671
Excuse me.
715
00:46:27,506 --> 00:46:31,300
I am conversing with these gentlemen, sir.
I shall be with you in a moment.
716
00:46:31,385 --> 00:46:34,388
I need to talk to you about
Frank Stockburn.
717
00:46:38,850 --> 00:46:41,227
I haven't heard that name in many a year.
718
00:46:41,310 --> 00:46:42,396
You know him.
719
00:46:42,479 --> 00:46:45,314
Mr. Stockburn and I
were business partners.
720
00:46:45,399 --> 00:46:47,526
I got a photograph.
721
00:46:47,609 --> 00:46:51,821
You see, that there's him...
and that's you.
722
00:46:51,905 --> 00:46:53,615
You rode in his gang.
723
00:46:53,698 --> 00:46:57,368
To be precise...
it was our gang.
724
00:46:57,452 --> 00:47:00,121
He went on to a criminal career
of some renown,
725
00:47:00,204 --> 00:47:03,625
while I achieved great success
in the legitimate business world.
726
00:47:03,708 --> 00:47:05,084
Please help me.
727
00:47:05,168 --> 00:47:07,128
Sir, you are becoming a nuisance.
728
00:47:07,211 --> 00:47:09,673
I just need to tell him what I've done.
729
00:47:36,199 --> 00:47:38,993
I think he's had enough, boss.
730
00:47:41,538 --> 00:47:43,540
Yes.
731
00:47:43,623 --> 00:47:46,292
My apologies, gentlemen.
732
00:47:46,375 --> 00:47:48,503
Not my favorite subject.
733
00:47:48,587 --> 00:47:50,714
A round on the house.
734
00:47:52,131 --> 00:47:55,594
And, Chico, if you ever
grab my arm like that again,
735
00:47:55,677 --> 00:47:57,512
I'll put six bullets in your head.
736
00:47:59,931 --> 00:48:01,182
That's quite a beating.
737
00:48:01,265 --> 00:48:03,810
Hope you and your drink are okay.
738
00:48:04,728 --> 00:48:07,647
Why do you want to meet
this Frank Stockburn so badly, huh?
739
00:48:07,731 --> 00:48:09,816
Frank Stockburn's my father.
740
00:48:11,943 --> 00:48:15,530
If Frank Stockburn is your father,
raise your hand.
741
00:48:17,991 --> 00:48:19,576
Gall dang!
742
00:48:29,085 --> 00:48:32,589
Chico's right.
Getting late, starting to thin out.
743
00:48:34,716 --> 00:48:36,425
Can I tell you guys something?
744
00:48:36,510 --> 00:48:38,887
Because I don't wanna have
no secrets between us.
745
00:48:38,970 --> 00:48:40,096
Of course.
746
00:48:40,179 --> 00:48:42,140
- Yeah, we're brothers.
- Yeah.
747
00:48:42,223 --> 00:48:46,520
Now, I know Dad is a white man,
but my mother...
748
00:48:46,603 --> 00:48:48,312
was actually black.
749
00:48:48,396 --> 00:48:52,108
So that, technically,
makes me half-black.
750
00:48:52,191 --> 00:48:53,985
Is that right?
751
00:48:54,068 --> 00:48:55,628
Well, I didn't wanna hide that from you
752
00:48:55,695 --> 00:48:58,489
in case you guys slipped up
and made some racial slurs
753
00:48:58,573 --> 00:49:01,868
- not knowing I wasn't 100% white.
- Hmm.
754
00:49:01,951 --> 00:49:04,328
I mean, I knew she must've
been really muscular,
755
00:49:04,412 --> 00:49:06,706
but I had no idea she was black.
756
00:49:06,790 --> 00:49:07,832
Yeah, I mean, I guess,
757
00:49:07,916 --> 00:49:09,876
now that you mention it,
I see it a little bit.
758
00:49:11,210 --> 00:49:13,755
My mother's Swedish.
759
00:49:13,838 --> 00:49:16,675
I don't think so.
I reckon she's Mexican.
760
00:49:18,176 --> 00:49:20,136
Lying bitch!
761
00:49:21,220 --> 00:49:23,973
So do you new brothers
have any special skills
762
00:49:24,057 --> 00:49:26,100
that could help us out here tonight?
763
00:49:26,184 --> 00:49:27,185
Like what?
764
00:49:27,268 --> 00:49:29,646
Like, you know,
Tommy's good with knives.
765
00:49:29,729 --> 00:49:32,106
Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple.
766
00:49:32,190 --> 00:49:33,775
I got a burro.
767
00:49:35,526 --> 00:49:37,696
Herm is good at strangling.
768
00:49:37,779 --> 00:49:41,449
- Huh?
- I can hold my breath for six minutes.
769
00:49:41,532 --> 00:49:44,202
Well, I can play the piano with my dick.
770
00:49:44,285 --> 00:49:47,413
Well, we're unstoppable then.
771
00:49:47,496 --> 00:49:52,043
Anyways, any of you handsome brothers
ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?
772
00:49:52,126 --> 00:49:54,087
- I'm ready.
- I'm hungry.
773
00:49:54,170 --> 00:49:55,672
- I'm drunk.
- And I'm Lil Pete.
774
00:49:57,006 --> 00:49:59,092
Let's get that nugget then.
775
00:50:40,549 --> 00:50:42,135
Oh...
776
00:50:42,218 --> 00:50:45,722
You've got some pair of huevos
coming into my place, son.
777
00:50:45,805 --> 00:50:48,599
I sure am sorry
about what happened, Mr. Harris.
778
00:50:48,683 --> 00:50:51,185
In fact, I'd like to buy you a drink...
779
00:50:51,269 --> 00:50:53,938
of the good stuff,
if that's okay?
780
00:50:54,648 --> 00:50:58,735
Barkeep, you got any scotch,
real scotch, from scotch-land?
781
00:51:01,863 --> 00:51:05,408
We keep the imported stuff in the back.
I'll go and fetch it for you.
782
00:51:05,491 --> 00:51:06,826
That's wonderful.
783
00:51:23,217 --> 00:51:24,886
Now, I didn't hear that,
did you?
784
00:51:24,969 --> 00:51:26,345
I did.
785
00:51:49,285 --> 00:51:50,954
I don't know,
maybe I'm turned round.
786
00:51:51,037 --> 00:51:53,957
I thought that, like,
tonight was gonna be Fajita Friday
787
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,000
or line dancing or something.
788
00:51:56,084 --> 00:51:59,462
It just seems quiet, but y'all be good.
Stay warm.
789
00:51:59,545 --> 00:52:02,090
- Hey, he's got the thumbs!
- They came with the pants!
790
00:52:06,677 --> 00:52:08,763
Right on the rocks,
right on the rocks.
791
00:52:08,847 --> 00:52:11,390
Oh, you're gaining on me!
You're gaining on me!
792
00:52:11,474 --> 00:52:14,268
You don't even understand
what we're gonna do to...
793
00:52:18,732 --> 00:52:21,025
Teach them not to mess
with the Stockburn brothers!
794
00:52:31,745 --> 00:52:34,998
Smiley...
795
00:52:44,548 --> 00:52:47,301
I'm watching you!
796
00:52:47,385 --> 00:52:48,887
Who's that?
797
00:52:52,473 --> 00:52:53,933
Ladies.
798
00:52:57,395 --> 00:53:01,649
What's behind door number three?
799
00:53:07,655 --> 00:53:11,700
Okay, ladies, take your clothes off
and start punching me in the face.
800
00:53:11,785 --> 00:53:12,827
Sorry, carry on.
801
00:53:12,911 --> 00:53:14,788
Hallelujah!
802
00:53:17,290 --> 00:53:22,336
Smiley,
why don't you visit your grandma...
803
00:53:22,420 --> 00:53:24,088
In hell!
804
00:53:44,275 --> 00:53:46,152
Smiley.
805
00:53:46,235 --> 00:53:50,531
You cannot
escape me, Smiley!
806
00:53:55,619 --> 00:53:58,789
Give me my thumbs back.
807
00:54:05,671 --> 00:54:07,798
It's too big, Lil Pete!
808
00:54:07,882 --> 00:54:09,050
What's too big?
809
00:54:09,884 --> 00:54:12,178
Uh... plan B's too big?
810
00:54:12,261 --> 00:54:13,762
What the hell is plan B?
811
00:54:13,847 --> 00:54:15,473
Let me show you.
812
00:54:16,224 --> 00:54:17,308
Plan B!
813
00:54:38,829 --> 00:54:41,624
Yeah, works better if you have knives.
814
00:54:41,707 --> 00:54:44,627
Yeah, that makes sense.
815
00:54:44,710 --> 00:54:45,962
Come on.
816
00:54:48,089 --> 00:54:49,673
You can take 'em!
Come on!
817
00:54:49,757 --> 00:54:52,218
I got the nugget! I got the nugget!
What do we do?
818
00:54:52,301 --> 00:54:53,970
- He's shooting like a madman!
- Come on!
819
00:54:54,053 --> 00:54:56,097
- Big bullets! Big bullets!
- Come on! Come on!
820
00:55:00,059 --> 00:55:02,353
Next man who moves will die!
821
00:55:06,357 --> 00:55:08,359
Who are you people?
822
00:55:15,408 --> 00:55:17,701
We are the Stockburn brothers.
823
00:55:17,785 --> 00:55:19,662
Frank's kids?
824
00:55:23,249 --> 00:55:28,004
Well... this is interesting.
825
00:55:28,087 --> 00:55:31,507
You know, the last time
I saw your father was in Utah.
826
00:55:31,590 --> 00:55:33,884
Just rang up our biggest score.
827
00:55:35,053 --> 00:55:36,720
But when we was dividing it up,
828
00:55:36,804 --> 00:55:39,723
we started having trouble
with the arithmetic.
829
00:55:39,807 --> 00:55:43,978
And somehow I ended up
abandoned beside a windmill,
830
00:55:44,062 --> 00:55:48,691
knife stuck in my guts,
left to die like a dog.
831
00:55:48,774 --> 00:55:51,110
Frank had taken it all.
832
00:55:51,194 --> 00:55:54,280
But now, I get to take something.
833
00:55:54,363 --> 00:55:58,576
The lives of his five ridiculous sons.
834
00:56:02,371 --> 00:56:03,789
Don't forget about número seis!
835
00:56:08,294 --> 00:56:10,379
Holy moly!
836
00:56:10,463 --> 00:56:12,006
No! Hell, no!
837
00:56:28,272 --> 00:56:31,900
He's giving himself
six bullets to the head!
838
00:56:31,985 --> 00:56:34,153
And he's still smiling!
839
00:56:45,456 --> 00:56:47,416
I was just trying to knock him out.
840
00:56:48,459 --> 00:56:51,087
Well, you succeeded.
841
00:56:51,170 --> 00:56:53,006
I don't think he's waking up
from that one.
842
00:56:53,089 --> 00:56:54,965
You done a number on him, Ramon.
843
00:56:55,049 --> 00:56:56,509
You did!
You did a number there.
844
00:56:56,592 --> 00:56:58,844
- Yeah, you did!
- Hey! Hey!
845
00:57:12,941 --> 00:57:15,903
Plan B was officially insane!
846
00:57:19,865 --> 00:57:23,202
Here you are, Danny.
It's an old Apache remedy.
847
00:57:25,163 --> 00:57:28,291
Clears your head after too much firewater.
848
00:57:28,374 --> 00:57:32,211
You know everything, Tommy.
Where'd you learn all this stuff?
849
00:57:32,295 --> 00:57:34,213
My father taught me.
850
00:57:34,297 --> 00:57:37,550
Dad? I thought you just met him last week.
851
00:57:37,633 --> 00:57:40,844
Not our father. Screaming Eagle.
852
00:57:40,928 --> 00:57:42,763
He raised me since I was a kid.
853
00:57:42,846 --> 00:57:46,934
He's the kindest...
wisest man I've ever known.
854
00:57:47,018 --> 00:57:48,102
Wow...
855
00:57:49,187 --> 00:57:51,230
must've been nice to have a dad.
856
00:57:51,314 --> 00:57:54,608
Oh, yeah, someone to wrastle with
857
00:57:54,692 --> 00:57:56,944
and teach you how
to cut up your panny-cakes.
858
00:57:57,028 --> 00:58:01,615
Someone to give you advice
when you screwed up real, real bad.
859
00:58:02,866 --> 00:58:04,410
Well, we do got a dad.
860
00:58:05,828 --> 00:58:07,955
And we're gonna see him real soon.
861
00:58:10,374 --> 00:58:12,668
Yeah... I can't wait.
862
00:58:14,253 --> 00:58:15,546
Yeah.
863
00:58:15,629 --> 00:58:19,342
♪ When I meet Dad
I must insist ♪
864
00:58:19,425 --> 00:58:22,803
♪ On making up
for all the time we missed ♪
865
00:58:22,886 --> 00:58:25,056
♪ We'll talk and drink ♪
866
00:58:25,139 --> 00:58:27,058
♪ And he'll bounce me on his knee ♪
867
00:58:27,141 --> 00:58:32,188
♪ Then we'll search hand in hand
for the taco tree ♪
868
00:58:33,439 --> 00:58:37,151
♪ When I meet Dad
I'm gonna ask him why ♪
869
00:58:37,235 --> 00:58:41,655
♪ Did he pork my mother
then say goodbye ♪
870
00:58:41,739 --> 00:58:45,409
♪ We're gonna be just like
birds of a feather ♪
871
00:58:45,493 --> 00:58:49,122
♪ Playing piano with our dicks together ♪
872
00:58:51,457 --> 00:58:53,041
♪ When I meet Dad ♪
873
00:58:53,126 --> 00:58:54,877
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
874
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:56,962
♪ He'll take away my sad ♪
875
00:58:57,045 --> 00:59:00,549
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
876
00:59:02,593 --> 00:59:04,011
♪ When I see Pa ♪
877
00:59:04,095 --> 00:59:06,305
♪ I'm gonna scream, "Gall dang!" ♪
878
00:59:06,389 --> 00:59:10,476
♪ You're the handsomest man
and you're really, really good ♪
879
00:59:10,559 --> 00:59:14,522
♪ I love you, Pa
And I'm glad you're my pa ♪
880
00:59:14,605 --> 00:59:17,691
♪ Why do I have three nipples? ♪
881
00:59:20,153 --> 00:59:22,405
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
882
00:59:22,488 --> 00:59:24,198
♪ When we meet Dad ♪
883
00:59:24,282 --> 00:59:26,242
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
884
00:59:26,325 --> 00:59:29,203
♪ Why does he have three nipples? ♪
885
00:59:38,212 --> 00:59:39,463
Hit it, Herm!
886
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:49,140
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
887
00:59:49,223 --> 00:59:51,099
♪ It's fun to have brothers ♪
888
00:59:51,184 --> 00:59:53,101
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
889
00:59:53,186 --> 00:59:56,189
♪ All from different mothers ♪
890
00:59:58,023 --> 01:00:02,986
♪ Well, I had a dad
And now I have two ♪
891
01:00:03,070 --> 01:00:07,658
♪ But one thing I never had
was a mother like you ♪
892
01:00:07,741 --> 01:00:12,913
♪ She lost her life 'cause of me
and I miss her every day ♪
893
01:00:12,996 --> 01:00:17,125
♪ Why, oh, why did that evil man ♪
894
01:00:17,210 --> 01:00:21,088
♪ Take my mama away? ♪
895
01:00:26,134 --> 01:00:28,095
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
896
01:00:28,179 --> 01:00:30,055
♪ I think I'm gonna cry ♪
897
01:00:30,138 --> 01:00:32,057
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
898
01:00:32,140 --> 01:00:35,769
♪ Quick, Herm, do the headless guy ♪
899
01:01:04,298 --> 01:01:05,424
What the...
900
01:01:07,635 --> 01:01:09,094
Okay, boys.
901
01:01:10,178 --> 01:01:11,847
I'm gonna check this out.
902
01:01:14,892 --> 01:01:18,186
The ball is in your hand,
twist the leg, then you let it go!
903
01:01:18,271 --> 01:01:20,022
Now, let me see.
Ready, men?
904
01:01:21,232 --> 01:01:23,526
No, no, no!
905
01:01:23,609 --> 01:01:26,237
You're not listening to me, Hung Shin!
906
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:29,072
You have to be very precise.
907
01:01:29,156 --> 01:01:31,617
Precise...
908
01:01:31,700 --> 01:01:33,118
I say!
909
01:01:33,201 --> 01:01:34,370
You there!
910
01:01:34,453 --> 01:01:37,540
I have a proposition.
911
01:01:37,623 --> 01:01:41,001
How would you men like to participate
912
01:01:41,084 --> 01:01:44,171
in the birth of something extraordinary?
913
01:01:44,255 --> 01:01:48,342
Well, we ain't got time for that,
but you can have your brown thing back.
914
01:01:49,718 --> 01:01:51,804
What's so damnably important
915
01:01:51,887 --> 01:01:54,265
that you need to miss
your rendezvous with history?
916
01:01:54,348 --> 01:01:57,225
We gotta save our daddy,
Frank Stockburn.
917
01:01:57,310 --> 01:01:58,769
Frank Stockburn, the outlaw?
918
01:01:58,852 --> 01:02:01,188
- You know our dad?
- Without a doubt.
919
01:02:01,272 --> 01:02:03,857
One of the best poker players
I've ever played against.
920
01:02:03,941 --> 01:02:08,946
I played him in Ezekiel Grant's
annual Valentine's Day game down in Yuma.
921
01:02:09,029 --> 01:02:13,909
Thousands of dollars on the table,
but Stockburn doesn't bat an eyelash.
922
01:02:13,992 --> 01:02:17,830
He happen to mention anything
about what his biggest score was?
923
01:02:17,913 --> 01:02:21,249
Over in Utah?
A guy named Smiley Harris?
924
01:02:22,250 --> 01:02:23,752
I'll make you a deal.
925
01:02:23,836 --> 01:02:27,840
Help me out a bit
and I'll tell you all I know.
926
01:02:27,923 --> 01:02:30,593
Deal. Tommy Dunson.
927
01:02:30,676 --> 01:02:34,305
Abner Doubleday.
Let's play ball.
928
01:02:40,519 --> 01:02:45,483
Welcome, my friends, to the first ever
playing of a new sport.
929
01:02:45,566 --> 01:02:49,445
A sport of my own devising.
930
01:02:49,528 --> 01:02:55,743
On this field, two ten-person teams
will engage in a battle of...
931
01:02:55,826 --> 01:02:57,285
Yes, Qi?
932
01:02:57,370 --> 01:03:00,122
Only 18 people here.
933
01:03:01,248 --> 01:03:07,630
Two nine-person teams will engage in
a battle of strength, speed, and strategy.
934
01:03:07,713 --> 01:03:12,426
One team will go out onto
the field to play defense
935
01:03:12,510 --> 01:03:17,139
while the other team
will take turns hitting this ball...
936
01:03:18,641 --> 01:03:20,058
with a stickie.
937
01:03:20,142 --> 01:03:22,227
What are you gonna call this game?
938
01:03:22,310 --> 01:03:23,562
What else?
939
01:03:23,646 --> 01:03:26,314
Stickie McSchnickens.
940
01:03:28,567 --> 01:03:33,489
Now your goal, ball thrower,
is to get the ball past me two times
941
01:03:33,572 --> 01:03:35,157
without my hitting it.
942
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:38,326
Fire when ready.
943
01:03:41,705 --> 01:03:45,250
I didn't know you were going
to toss it quite so hard, ball thrower.
944
01:03:45,333 --> 01:03:46,334
All right.
945
01:03:51,882 --> 01:03:55,093
Okay, that's two past ya.
So you're done, right?
946
01:03:55,177 --> 01:03:57,262
No, no, I said three times.
947
01:03:57,345 --> 01:03:59,097
No, you said two.
948
01:03:59,181 --> 01:04:01,975
I said three!
Three strikes and I'm out.
949
01:04:02,059 --> 01:04:04,895
I know what I said, shortstop.
950
01:04:06,271 --> 01:04:09,149
That's your new name.
Short Stop, that's right.
951
01:04:09,232 --> 01:04:10,984
Now and forever.
Forever and ever!
952
01:04:11,068 --> 01:04:13,070
Short Stop.
Short Stop, Short Stop.
953
01:04:13,153 --> 01:04:14,196
Short Stop.
954
01:04:16,281 --> 01:04:17,658
Yes, all right.
955
01:04:19,410 --> 01:04:21,078
Strike three!
You're out!
956
01:04:21,161 --> 01:04:25,290
No, no, the ball was... too low.
957
01:04:25,373 --> 01:04:30,421
In order for it to count as a strike,
it has to pass through the...
958
01:04:30,504 --> 01:04:31,755
strike zone.
959
01:04:31,839 --> 01:04:33,507
- Strike zone?
- That's right.
960
01:04:33,591 --> 01:04:38,011
And if you don't get the ball past me,
between my knees and my titties,
961
01:04:38,095 --> 01:04:39,262
it's not a strike.
962
01:04:39,346 --> 01:04:40,848
It's a non-strike.
963
01:04:40,931 --> 01:04:42,558
And if you throw me four non-strikes,
964
01:04:42,641 --> 01:04:45,686
I get an express ticket to first base
without my even hitting it.
965
01:04:46,186 --> 01:04:47,480
Oh.
966
01:04:47,563 --> 01:04:48,981
All right, are we ready?
967
01:04:53,611 --> 01:04:56,739
That also gets me to first base...
as well.
968
01:05:08,041 --> 01:05:09,292
Where you going?
Nobody hit it.
969
01:05:09,376 --> 01:05:12,588
I stole the base.
You weren't looking, so I stole it.
970
01:05:12,671 --> 01:05:15,799
You said you could only advance
after you hit the ball!
971
01:05:15,883 --> 01:05:18,093
Not when you're stealing.
972
01:05:18,176 --> 01:05:19,803
That's bullshit.
973
01:05:19,887 --> 01:05:21,138
Okay, Short Stop.
974
01:05:38,989 --> 01:05:40,073
He's moving!
975
01:05:42,660 --> 01:05:43,744
Safe!
976
01:05:50,793 --> 01:05:51,794
Gall dang, I don't know.
977
01:05:51,877 --> 01:05:54,880
- That was a tie.
- Yes, and tie goes to the runner!
978
01:05:54,963 --> 01:05:56,549
Why's that?
979
01:05:56,632 --> 01:06:00,969
Because those are the rules
of Stickie McSchnickens, that's why.
980
01:06:04,056 --> 01:06:05,724
All right, it's all mine,
I've got it!
981
01:06:05,808 --> 01:06:09,019
No! No, you can't run.
You cannot run.
982
01:06:09,102 --> 01:06:13,023
Infield fly rule... in full effect.
983
01:06:15,776 --> 01:06:16,819
You're out.
984
01:06:18,696 --> 01:06:20,296
- Here we go, Herm.
- Okay, Herm!
985
01:06:20,363 --> 01:06:21,406
Yeah.
986
01:06:26,620 --> 01:06:27,705
Oh!
987
01:06:27,788 --> 01:06:29,582
Oh, I'm not getting that.
988
01:06:29,665 --> 01:06:30,791
Yeah, bueno!
989
01:06:30,874 --> 01:06:34,878
You can just run all the way home.
A home runner.
990
01:06:36,296 --> 01:06:38,006
I need a cold drink.
991
01:06:38,090 --> 01:06:41,802
Let's take a five-minute stretch
and then start the second half.
992
01:06:41,885 --> 01:06:43,596
Mr. Doubleday, we're done.
993
01:06:43,679 --> 01:06:45,723
But we've only played nine innings.
994
01:06:45,806 --> 01:06:49,560
Nine innings is enough.
Tell us about Dad's biggest score.
995
01:06:49,643 --> 01:06:51,228
Fine.
996
01:06:51,311 --> 01:06:57,693
Your father and his gang knocked off
an entire cavalry regiment, 120 men,
997
01:06:57,776 --> 01:07:00,237
five trunks filled with Yankee money.
998
01:07:01,572 --> 01:07:02,698
Where'd that happen?
999
01:07:02,781 --> 01:07:05,701
Up at Sweet Hog Rock...
1000
01:07:05,784 --> 01:07:07,661
100 miles due north.
1001
01:07:07,745 --> 01:07:09,496
You'll know it when you see it.
1002
01:07:09,580 --> 01:07:11,331
Well, fellas,
1003
01:07:11,414 --> 01:07:15,418
looks like we're going to Sweet Hog Rock
to find ourselves a singing windmill.
1004
01:07:15,502 --> 01:07:17,212
But we still need another 10,000 bucks.
1005
01:07:17,295 --> 01:07:19,632
I reckon we'll make a quick stop, then.
1006
01:07:19,715 --> 01:07:21,466
Before you go...
1007
01:07:21,549 --> 01:07:24,511
do you wanna line up and shake hands
and say "good game" to each other?
1008
01:07:25,137 --> 01:07:26,138
No.
1009
01:07:27,598 --> 01:07:29,642
Them boys were nice fellers.
1010
01:07:29,725 --> 01:07:33,020
Paid in cash.
Kept the profanity to a minimum.
1011
01:07:33,103 --> 01:07:37,024
And the Mexican brother knocked
this hard-ass' head off with a shovel?
1012
01:07:37,107 --> 01:07:40,861
Dang thing flew nearly 40 feet!
And still a-smilin'.
1013
01:07:40,944 --> 01:07:41,945
Oh! Man!
1014
01:07:42,029 --> 01:07:44,447
And hasn't stopped yet.
1015
01:07:48,285 --> 01:07:53,206
Oh, hell, no!
My man gluing on heads and shit!
1016
01:07:53,290 --> 01:07:55,793
Wish he'd glue the head back on my pecker.
1017
01:07:55,876 --> 01:07:57,335
What happened to your pecker?
1018
01:07:57,419 --> 01:08:00,673
I was part of another gang
before I joined up with y'all.
1019
01:08:00,756 --> 01:08:01,840
Texas Stubbies.
1020
01:08:01,924 --> 01:08:05,177
Okay,
never mind all that. Okay?
1021
01:08:05,260 --> 01:08:09,890
Now, Doc, you know which way
them there Ridiculous 6 rode off to?
1022
01:08:09,973 --> 01:08:12,559
We're traveling
with a friend of theirs who, uh...
1023
01:08:12,643 --> 01:08:14,728
will be real excited to see them.
1024
01:08:14,812 --> 01:08:17,189
Well, they headed up north
to the Turquoise Trail.
1025
01:08:18,315 --> 01:08:19,900
I can show you on the map over here.
1026
01:08:21,985 --> 01:08:24,738
Looking forward to seeing
your man beg for his life?
1027
01:08:25,948 --> 01:08:28,158
'Cause that's what's gonna happen,
Smoking Fox.
1028
01:08:28,241 --> 01:08:30,786
Chicken pox!
1029
01:08:30,869 --> 01:08:33,789
We're gaining on his
Injun-loving ass every day.
1030
01:08:33,872 --> 01:08:35,415
He messed with the Left-Eye Gang!
1031
01:08:35,498 --> 01:08:36,667
He's gonna be like,
1032
01:08:36,750 --> 01:08:43,340
"Wait, how did you find me, and where...
How did you get my girl?"
1033
01:08:43,423 --> 01:08:47,552
And then old Dumb Knife's gonna realize
that he's in way over his head.
1034
01:08:50,597 --> 01:08:54,517
See, when George Washington
invented America...
1035
01:09:12,202 --> 01:09:13,871
Excuse me, Sheriff.
1036
01:09:13,954 --> 01:09:15,748
Is there a church in this town?
1037
01:09:15,831 --> 01:09:19,001
This is Rattler's Gulch, you halfwit.
1038
01:09:19,084 --> 01:09:22,838
The meanest, crookedest,
most hellacious town in the West.
1039
01:09:22,921 --> 01:09:26,508
We don't need no preacher telling us
what we can and cannot do.
1040
01:09:26,591 --> 01:09:29,344
So it's all right
if I do this to your wife?
1041
01:09:50,407 --> 01:09:54,161
I can't wait to see all you nice people
when I'm dangling!
1042
01:09:54,244 --> 01:09:55,703
You sick bastard.
1043
01:09:55,788 --> 01:09:57,330
Get this over with.
1044
01:09:57,414 --> 01:10:01,209
You're in for a real treat today.
This is gonna be so much fun.
1045
01:10:10,052 --> 01:10:12,304
I'm just messing with y'all.
I'm fine!
1046
01:10:14,347 --> 01:10:16,224
I call this one Fish Out of Water.
1047
01:10:26,151 --> 01:10:29,737
♪ He flies through the air
with the greatest of ease ♪
1048
01:10:29,822 --> 01:10:33,616
♪ That daring young man
on the flying trapeze ♪
1049
01:10:33,700 --> 01:10:35,285
Yeah!
1050
01:10:42,209 --> 01:10:43,251
Yeah!
1051
01:10:43,877 --> 01:10:46,546
Herm, put the hookers back.
1052
01:10:48,298 --> 01:10:49,674
Come on!
1053
01:10:53,178 --> 01:10:56,974
Yeah, you can't catch me!
1054
01:10:59,935 --> 01:11:02,938
He ain't dying, Billy!
He's making a fool of you!
1055
01:11:03,021 --> 01:11:04,564
Whoo-hoo!
1056
01:11:04,647 --> 01:11:05,648
All right, that's it!
1057
01:11:05,732 --> 01:11:07,525
We'll shoot the son of a bitch!
1058
01:11:07,609 --> 01:11:09,236
On my command!
1059
01:11:09,319 --> 01:11:11,404
Ready...
1060
01:11:11,488 --> 01:11:12,780
Aim...
1061
01:11:13,365 --> 01:11:15,158
Fire!
1062
01:11:21,623 --> 01:11:24,877
Wind took him, Tommy.
Came damn close.
1063
01:11:24,960 --> 01:11:27,170
I'm okay!
1064
01:11:27,254 --> 01:11:29,464
Come on, Billy!
Get him!
1065
01:11:29,547 --> 01:11:31,091
We did it!
1066
01:11:33,969 --> 01:11:37,222
I told ya
I got a strong neck!
1067
01:11:39,141 --> 01:11:40,558
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
1068
01:11:40,642 --> 01:11:42,394
♪ Won't be so sad ♪
1069
01:11:42,477 --> 01:11:44,312
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
1070
01:11:44,396 --> 01:11:46,606
♪ We're gonna save Dad ♪
1071
01:11:50,652 --> 01:11:53,530
We still gotta get to Sweet Hog Rock
before they do.
1072
01:11:53,613 --> 01:11:56,116
Gotta find that singing windmill,
so it ain't over yet.
1073
01:11:56,199 --> 01:11:57,409
We got the money!
1074
01:11:57,492 --> 01:12:00,578
- The Ridiculous 6 got all the money!
- Yeah!
1075
01:12:00,662 --> 01:12:01,746
Yeah!
1076
01:12:04,041 --> 01:12:07,085
Tommy! Tommy! What's Dad like?
Is he funny?
1077
01:12:07,169 --> 01:12:08,753
Yeah, is he a good listener?
1078
01:12:08,836 --> 01:12:10,255
Is he strong?
1079
01:12:14,759 --> 01:12:18,138
All great questions.
I'll tell you this.
1080
01:12:18,221 --> 01:12:20,140
I think you guys are gonna love him.
1081
01:12:21,183 --> 01:12:24,227
But I'm sure he's gonna love you guys.
1082
01:12:26,521 --> 01:12:29,274
So sorry to interrupt
such a tender moment.
1083
01:12:29,357 --> 01:12:32,444
Looks like we stumbled
on bath day, boys!
1084
01:12:34,196 --> 01:12:36,823
I heard you picked up some brothers
along the way, tough guy.
1085
01:12:36,907 --> 01:12:38,909
But I don't see no resemblance.
1086
01:12:38,992 --> 01:12:42,579
I do, they all look like my butthole.
1087
01:12:45,832 --> 01:12:47,750
So guess what time it is, boys?
1088
01:12:47,834 --> 01:12:49,127
Payback time!
1089
01:12:49,211 --> 01:12:52,589
Any last words,
No Knife?
1090
01:12:59,596 --> 01:13:01,056
I told ya I could hold my breath good.
1091
01:13:01,139 --> 01:13:02,349
Yeah, Danny boy!
1092
01:13:02,432 --> 01:13:05,143
What are you doing, man?
We gotta go!
1093
01:13:07,770 --> 01:13:10,190
- Oh, jackpot, boys!
- No!
1094
01:13:11,399 --> 01:13:13,193
- That's ours!
- Hyah!
1095
01:13:17,364 --> 01:13:18,490
Rusty!
1096
01:13:18,573 --> 01:13:20,908
Rusty, no, come back!
1097
01:13:20,993 --> 01:13:22,035
No.
1098
01:13:33,921 --> 01:13:37,968
How are we gonna save him?
We're startin' all over.
1099
01:13:38,051 --> 01:13:40,387
Is there any more good places
we can rob?
1100
01:13:40,470 --> 01:13:44,182
You know like a burro-grooming place
or a shoe store for burros?
1101
01:13:44,849 --> 01:13:47,602
Half the lawmen in the West
are already looking for us.
1102
01:13:47,685 --> 01:13:50,355
So what?
Look, we can't stop.
1103
01:13:50,438 --> 01:13:51,689
They're going to kill him!
1104
01:13:51,773 --> 01:13:54,151
Ain't no difference.
He's dying anyways.
1105
01:13:58,196 --> 01:13:59,864
Dad's sick.
1106
01:14:01,033 --> 01:14:02,659
I'm sorry I didn't tell y'all.
1107
01:14:03,535 --> 01:14:05,996
There's a good chance
he's dead already.
1108
01:14:08,831 --> 01:14:12,710
But there's a chance he's not.
You got to meet him, Tommy.
1109
01:14:12,794 --> 01:14:14,712
The rest of us...
1110
01:14:14,796 --> 01:14:17,299
Even if it was just for five minutes,
it'd be worth it.
1111
01:14:17,382 --> 01:14:23,180
If I don't talk to Dad, I'll die with this
dirty secret burnin' a hole in my guts.
1112
01:14:23,263 --> 01:14:27,934
Danito, whatever it is you did,
you have to forgive yourself, man.
1113
01:14:28,018 --> 01:14:30,353
You wouldn't say that if you know
what I done.
1114
01:14:30,437 --> 01:14:32,897
- Everybody's got secrets, Danny.
- Yeah.
1115
01:14:32,980 --> 01:14:35,358
You guys are the first people
I told I was black.
1116
01:14:35,442 --> 01:14:37,902
You know how good that made me feel?
1117
01:14:37,985 --> 01:14:40,072
We're your brothers.
1118
01:14:40,155 --> 01:14:42,157
You can tell us anything.
1119
01:14:43,908 --> 01:14:45,035
I, uh...
1120
01:14:48,371 --> 01:14:51,124
I used to work
for the President of the United States.
1121
01:14:52,917 --> 01:14:54,919
I was his personal bodyguard.
1122
01:14:55,920 --> 01:14:57,172
One of the best.
1123
01:14:58,090 --> 01:14:59,966
Till one night...
1124
01:15:05,012 --> 01:15:08,266
Mr. President, say, I'm gonna go
hit the little boys' room.
1125
01:15:08,350 --> 01:15:10,602
Are you shitting me?
1126
01:15:10,685 --> 01:15:12,937
Come on!
You'll be fine, superstar.
1127
01:15:13,020 --> 01:15:16,274
Can I get ya something on the way back?
Agua? Brewski?
1128
01:15:16,358 --> 01:15:17,484
No!
1129
01:15:17,567 --> 01:15:20,778
Mrs. Lincoln, how about one of them
big pretzels or a little pillow?
1130
01:15:20,862 --> 01:15:22,780
I hear this play's kind of a long one.
1131
01:15:23,906 --> 01:15:26,409
All right, fair enough.
I'll be back in two.
1132
01:15:33,541 --> 01:15:35,377
Where's the president's box?
1133
01:15:35,460 --> 01:15:38,088
- John Wilkes Booth, the actor?
- Yeah.
1134
01:15:38,171 --> 01:15:40,923
No way, man! Big fan!
1135
01:15:41,007 --> 01:15:42,842
- You wanna say hi to the president?
- Yeah.
1136
01:15:42,925 --> 01:15:45,553
He'd get a real kick out of that.
Last door on the left.
1137
01:15:45,637 --> 01:15:47,639
- Thank you.
- Really cool.
1138
01:15:47,722 --> 01:15:50,142
Wow! Love that guy!
1139
01:15:55,647 --> 01:15:59,651
Abe!
1140
01:16:04,030 --> 01:16:08,535
How can you go on living your life
knowing you harmed so many people?
1141
01:16:08,618 --> 01:16:10,453
That's what I wanna ask Dad.
1142
01:16:10,537 --> 01:16:13,915
Hey, you ain't the one
who pulled that trigger.
1143
01:16:13,998 --> 01:16:16,959
But if Dad's gotta be
the one who tells you that...
1144
01:16:19,129 --> 01:16:20,880
then let's go get that money.
1145
01:16:20,963 --> 01:16:23,466
I just wish I knew how.
1146
01:16:27,094 --> 01:16:28,346
Herm's got an idea.
1147
01:16:29,722 --> 01:16:31,141
He just can't express it.
1148
01:16:32,767 --> 01:16:34,852
I just wish somebody here
could speak Herm.
1149
01:16:41,526 --> 01:16:43,820
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.
1150
01:16:43,903 --> 01:16:48,450
That's when Ezekiel Grant has his annual
high-stakes poker game.
1151
01:16:48,533 --> 01:16:52,287
There'll be oodles of money there.
Oodles, I say.
1152
01:16:52,370 --> 01:16:53,830
Ooh.
1153
01:16:53,913 --> 01:16:56,916
- I don't know. That sounds risky.
- What's risky?
1154
01:16:56,999 --> 01:17:01,213
He's suggesting we...
knock off Ezekiel Grant's poker game.
1155
01:17:01,296 --> 01:17:02,547
It's in Yuma tomorrow night.
1156
01:17:02,630 --> 01:17:04,882
Yuma's less than a day's walk from here.
1157
01:17:04,966 --> 01:17:08,720
That poker game, there's practically
gonna be an army protectin' it.
1158
01:17:08,803 --> 01:17:12,974
If Tommy says we can beat 'em,
I'll believe him.
1159
01:17:13,057 --> 01:17:16,018
We all will.
1160
01:17:18,271 --> 01:17:19,606
We can beat 'em...
1161
01:17:20,940 --> 01:17:22,024
for Dad.
1162
01:17:22,108 --> 01:17:23,735
For Dad!
1163
01:17:38,750 --> 01:17:42,712
I hope you like the gift I'm giving you
for Valentine's Day, Ezekiel.
1164
01:17:42,795 --> 01:17:47,133
I'll give you a hint.
One-hour massage, no charge.
1165
01:17:47,217 --> 01:17:49,511
Oh, Susannah.
1166
01:17:49,594 --> 01:17:51,471
You know what gift I'd really love?
1167
01:17:51,554 --> 01:17:54,224
If you would just shut up!
1168
01:17:54,849 --> 01:17:57,644
Nothing ruins a good poker game more...
1169
01:17:57,727 --> 01:18:01,523
than a lady jabbering on and on...
1170
01:18:01,606 --> 01:18:03,816
How romantic.
1171
01:18:06,736 --> 01:18:07,737
- Hello!
- Hello!
1172
01:18:07,820 --> 01:18:10,197
Well, General Custer!
1173
01:18:10,282 --> 01:18:11,616
Yes, at your service.
1174
01:18:11,699 --> 01:18:13,243
Mr. Mark Twain.
1175
01:18:13,326 --> 01:18:15,370
- Word up!
- Gentlemen, do come in.
1176
01:18:15,453 --> 01:18:20,041
Yo, Zeke, big boy, I was just going off
to the General here about my new book.
1177
01:18:20,124 --> 01:18:22,335
- It's a sequel to Tom Sawyer.
- Ooh.
1178
01:18:22,419 --> 01:18:25,297
It's about Sawyer's home slice,
Huckleberry Finn.
1179
01:18:25,380 --> 01:18:29,216
White boy goes raftin' with a brother.
People gonna lose their shit!
1180
01:18:30,385 --> 01:18:34,639
And, General Custer, I see you've let
your dashing blond hair grow out.
1181
01:18:34,722 --> 01:18:37,892
Well, yes, the barber down at
the regiment is just awful,
1182
01:18:37,975 --> 01:18:41,646
so I had two choices,
either let it grow or get scalped.
1183
01:18:41,729 --> 01:18:44,441
And I ain't gonna let that happen.
1184
01:18:44,524 --> 01:18:47,402
Now, will our old friend
from Tombstone be joining us?
1185
01:18:47,485 --> 01:18:48,528
Late as usual.
1186
01:18:48,611 --> 01:18:53,991
But we have a new player,
a wealthy Mexican coffee bean rancher.
1187
01:18:54,075 --> 01:18:55,159
Am I tardy-o?
1188
01:18:55,242 --> 01:18:58,204
Oh. Sneaky little Mexican.
1189
01:18:59,539 --> 01:19:01,666
May I present Don Don Diego.
1190
01:19:04,544 --> 01:19:07,254
We run a gentleman's game here, Mr. Diego.
1191
01:19:07,339 --> 01:19:10,883
Your, uh, two bodyguards
are completely unnecessary.
1192
01:19:10,967 --> 01:19:12,802
Bodyguards?
1193
01:19:13,803 --> 01:19:15,430
You're mistaken, General.
1194
01:19:15,513 --> 01:19:17,432
This is, um...
1195
01:19:17,515 --> 01:19:21,561
Chimichanga... my loyal manservant.
1196
01:19:23,355 --> 01:19:24,397
God bless you.
1197
01:19:24,981 --> 01:19:25,982
And, um...
1198
01:19:28,025 --> 01:19:29,694
Blanco Beardio.
1199
01:19:30,862 --> 01:19:33,823
He'll be providing the entertainment
for this afternoon's festivities.
1200
01:19:33,906 --> 01:19:35,408
Well, drop me a beat.
1201
01:19:41,414 --> 01:19:42,415
Okay.
1202
01:19:44,125 --> 01:19:45,167
All right.
1203
01:19:47,211 --> 01:19:48,755
Here we go now.
1204
01:19:55,387 --> 01:19:58,723
Gentlemen, the buy-in is $15,000.
1205
01:19:58,806 --> 01:20:00,224
Fifteen large?
1206
01:20:00,307 --> 01:20:02,059
Are you sure General Custard
can swing that?
1207
01:20:02,143 --> 01:20:06,606
It's Custer, not "Custard."
There is no "D." I'm not a dessert.
1208
01:20:06,689 --> 01:20:09,526
Boom, I just dropped some satire
on your ass, General!
1209
01:20:11,152 --> 01:20:12,194
You got me!
1210
01:20:13,738 --> 01:20:16,323
Hey! Now, when Ramon gives
the signal that the time is right,
1211
01:20:16,408 --> 01:20:17,825
that's when we move in.
1212
01:20:17,909 --> 01:20:19,369
You remember the signal, right?
1213
01:20:25,291 --> 01:20:27,669
- Gentlemen.
- You know where to go, Marshal.
1214
01:20:28,252 --> 01:20:29,712
Oh, hell, no!
1215
01:20:29,796 --> 01:20:31,631
That's Wyatt Earp!
1216
01:20:31,714 --> 01:20:34,050
The fastest gun in the West?
1217
01:20:36,678 --> 01:20:38,054
All right, all right, all right!
1218
01:20:38,137 --> 01:20:41,516
- Oh, Wyatt Earp, as I live and breathe!
- Wyatt Earp.
1219
01:20:41,599 --> 01:20:43,309
- You're here!
- Wyatt Earp.
1220
01:20:43,393 --> 01:20:44,811
Sorry I'm late, everybody.
1221
01:20:44,894 --> 01:20:49,106
But apparently, there's some new gang
out there robbing everybody blind.
1222
01:20:49,190 --> 01:20:50,900
Oh, they call themselves
the Ridiculous 6.
1223
01:20:50,983 --> 01:20:54,529
I swear, a man can't ride
five miles in this territory
1224
01:20:54,612 --> 01:20:58,074
without running into outlaws,
rattlesnakes, Injuns and...
1225
01:20:58,157 --> 01:21:01,035
Hey! Why don't you let me
worry about the Injuns?
1226
01:21:01,118 --> 01:21:03,370
Will do, General.
1227
01:21:05,915 --> 01:21:07,124
What's shakin', Twain?
1228
01:21:07,208 --> 01:21:09,794
Hey, I'm good on anything.
Just like gravy, baby.
1229
01:21:09,877 --> 01:21:11,671
- Good to see you, my man.
- You too, man.
1230
01:21:11,754 --> 01:21:14,424
Hey! I finally read Prince and the Pauper.
1231
01:21:14,507 --> 01:21:15,758
Oh, is that right?
1232
01:21:15,842 --> 01:21:17,093
Didn't get it.
1233
01:21:18,094 --> 01:21:19,178
For reals?
1234
01:21:20,304 --> 01:21:23,182
Satire! Boom! I got ya!
1235
01:21:23,265 --> 01:21:26,185
- I'm just pulling your leg.
- Oh, man.
1236
01:21:26,268 --> 01:21:27,729
I can't read.
1237
01:21:30,773 --> 01:21:32,942
Good one with the... satire.
1238
01:21:33,025 --> 01:21:34,777
Funny.
1239
01:21:37,071 --> 01:21:38,114
Who's this idiot?
1240
01:21:40,366 --> 01:21:42,660
Um... I am Don...
1241
01:21:42,744 --> 01:21:44,370
Don Don Diego.
1242
01:21:45,705 --> 01:21:47,707
Well, Don, I'm Wyatt...
1243
01:21:47,790 --> 01:21:49,000
Wyatt Wyatt Earp.
1244
01:21:54,005 --> 01:21:55,673
Got him.
1245
01:21:55,757 --> 01:22:00,470
Now let's play
some cards!
1246
01:22:07,018 --> 01:22:08,853
♪ Say, say Tom Sawyer ♪
1247
01:22:08,936 --> 01:22:09,979
♪ Tom Sawyer ♪
1248
01:22:10,062 --> 01:22:11,063
♪ Say Tom Sawyer ♪
1249
01:22:11,147 --> 01:22:12,607
♪ Tom Sawyer ♪
1250
01:22:12,690 --> 01:22:14,776
♪ Say the blacks and the whites
are getting along ♪
1251
01:22:14,859 --> 01:22:16,778
♪ The blacks and the whites
are getting along ♪
1252
01:22:16,861 --> 01:22:18,070
♪ I can't read ♪
1253
01:22:18,154 --> 01:22:19,238
♪ I can't read ♪
1254
01:22:20,573 --> 01:22:22,492
Please calm yourself!
1255
01:22:23,618 --> 01:22:26,913
Let's get inside before this Wyatt Earp
ruins our plan.
1256
01:22:26,996 --> 01:22:29,415
But there's no way for you to sneak
past them guys, Tommy.
1257
01:22:29,499 --> 01:22:32,752
There's no rocks, no trees,
no nothing to hide behind.
1258
01:22:32,835 --> 01:22:37,298
No need to hide, brother,
when you are friends with the wind.
1259
01:22:37,381 --> 01:22:40,092
I'm telling you, down there,
they don't call it "Mexico."
1260
01:22:40,176 --> 01:22:45,306
It's "Mehico." The "X" is an "H."
I'm presuming Texas is "Tehas."
1261
01:22:47,058 --> 01:22:49,185
Now, what's this?
1262
01:22:49,268 --> 01:22:51,813
Just a tumbleweed,
you jumpy bastard.
1263
01:23:08,120 --> 01:23:10,957
That is some mystical shit.
1264
01:23:14,752 --> 01:23:18,798
I wish to move the dresser
in my bedroom closer to the window,
1265
01:23:18,881 --> 01:23:22,134
but I haven't the strength
to do it myself.
1266
01:23:22,218 --> 01:23:25,972
I'd love to help, ma'am, but I really
should keep playing the piano.
1267
01:23:27,557 --> 01:23:30,810
No one will even know you're gone.
1268
01:23:36,065 --> 01:23:38,901
- Gentlemen, cough up your buy-ins.
- All right!
1269
01:23:38,985 --> 01:23:40,277
Make it rain like Twain.
1270
01:23:40,361 --> 01:23:42,071
- Take that and that.
- Yeah!
1271
01:23:42,154 --> 01:23:45,366
Sure is some good hooch there, Zeke.
Where'd you find that?
1272
01:23:45,449 --> 01:23:49,912
Oh, I got that from a case
about, uh, 20 years ago.
1273
01:23:49,996 --> 01:23:53,457
In fact, uh, you know that shack
up by Jawbone Falls?
1274
01:23:53,540 --> 01:23:56,085
- Yeah.
- There was a lady living there.
1275
01:23:56,168 --> 01:23:58,755
It was one of Frank Stockburn's
many paramours.
1276
01:23:58,838 --> 01:24:03,509
Now this was one of the ugliest ladies
I've ever seen in my life.
1277
01:24:03,593 --> 01:24:05,552
Sounds like a real bucket of turds.
1278
01:24:05,637 --> 01:24:09,724
But she was a very talented
distiller of alcohol.
1279
01:24:09,807 --> 01:24:12,226
So, while she...
1280
01:24:12,309 --> 01:24:15,688
While she's loading up my coach,
her young boy comes out,
1281
01:24:15,772 --> 01:24:21,318
this big shambling oaf,
mute, filthy as a hog,
1282
01:24:21,402 --> 01:24:24,822
and he starts doing
this horrible little tap dance
1283
01:24:24,906 --> 01:24:27,867
whilst singing "The Star-Spangled Banner."
1284
01:24:27,950 --> 01:24:31,245
Well, not singing it, really,
but grunting it, like a caveman!
1285
01:24:31,328 --> 01:24:34,373
? Oh, say can you see?
1286
01:24:36,250 --> 01:24:37,919
You know,
he wants me to throw him some pennies,
1287
01:24:38,002 --> 01:24:39,962
so I fished a coin out of my pocket
1288
01:24:40,046 --> 01:24:42,048
and I guess I don't know my own strength.
1289
01:24:42,131 --> 01:24:45,760
I tossed it, hit him in the mouth,
and knocked his tooth out!
1290
01:24:48,095 --> 01:24:49,513
What an asshole!
1291
01:24:51,098 --> 01:24:52,099
Mama.
1292
01:24:52,725 --> 01:24:56,938
In any event, I still have
one bottle left from that case.
1293
01:24:57,021 --> 01:25:01,651
I'll go fetch it and we can drink a toast
to that awful woman and her hideous son.
1294
01:25:03,069 --> 01:25:06,280
Oh, she was ugly!
You wouldn't even sleep with her.
1295
01:25:10,451 --> 01:25:13,329
Say, Don Don Diego...
1296
01:25:13,412 --> 01:25:14,706
where's your buy-in?
1297
01:25:14,789 --> 01:25:16,582
I thought it was 15 grand a man.
1298
01:25:16,666 --> 01:25:17,834
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1299
01:25:17,917 --> 01:25:19,126
Uh...
1300
01:25:28,177 --> 01:25:29,846
Let's see. Ah!
1301
01:25:43,693 --> 01:25:44,694
It's you!
1302
01:25:44,777 --> 01:25:45,903
Uh-huh.
1303
01:25:55,913 --> 01:25:57,081
What?
1304
01:25:57,790 --> 01:25:59,709
What "what"?
1305
01:25:59,792 --> 01:26:01,668
What are you so surprised about?
1306
01:26:01,753 --> 01:26:06,507
Just so surprised at all the...
the fun that we're having here,
1307
01:26:06,590 --> 01:26:08,885
with the card and the money
and the booze and...
1308
01:26:11,053 --> 01:26:14,140
You know, I make that same face when
I put my cologne on in the morning,
1309
01:26:14,223 --> 01:26:16,308
especially when I'm home alone.
1310
01:26:16,392 --> 01:26:17,643
You know what I think?
1311
01:26:17,727 --> 01:26:21,438
I think Don Don Diego isn't really
a coffee bean rancher at all.
1312
01:26:21,522 --> 01:26:25,192
And his true purpose here is to rob us.
1313
01:26:27,486 --> 01:26:30,197
Don't make me kill you, Mr. Earp.
1314
01:26:30,281 --> 01:26:31,949
Hands up high.
1315
01:26:32,033 --> 01:26:34,994
Oh, snap!
You got the drop on Wyatt Earp?
1316
01:26:35,077 --> 01:26:38,622
It's mi hermano.
He's one bad hombre.
1317
01:26:41,876 --> 01:26:43,294
No disrespect, fellas.
1318
01:26:43,377 --> 01:26:46,756
We're gonna have to tie you up,
and we'll have to borrow your horses.
1319
01:26:47,965 --> 01:26:49,591
Ooh, what'd I miss?
1320
01:26:51,218 --> 01:26:54,263
Sweet Hog Rock,
here we come!
1321
01:26:57,683 --> 01:26:59,852
Giddy up, Burro.
1322
01:26:59,936 --> 01:27:01,145
Come on, Ramon!
1323
01:27:14,992 --> 01:27:16,618
Right behind you, Tommy!
1324
01:27:17,619 --> 01:27:20,122
Hurry up, Burro!
Move your ass!
1325
01:27:26,170 --> 01:27:28,010
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
1326
01:27:30,925 --> 01:27:32,969
Yeah, I think we found it.
1327
01:27:33,052 --> 01:27:37,181
That is one sweet hog right there.
1328
01:27:37,264 --> 01:27:40,977
That is a sweet, majestic hog.
1329
01:27:41,060 --> 01:27:43,395
Yeah, that's a sweet one for sure.
1330
01:27:44,355 --> 01:27:45,481
It's all right.
1331
01:27:47,149 --> 01:27:51,153
I'm confused.
I don't see a hog or a pig anywhere.
1332
01:27:51,237 --> 01:27:54,824
All I see is the big old rock
that looks like a weenie pee-pee.
1333
01:27:59,120 --> 01:28:01,873
- Oh, you guys call a pee-pee a "hog."
- Yeah.
1334
01:28:01,956 --> 01:28:04,750
- That's weird. I like it, though.
- Yeah. Okay.
1335
01:28:04,834 --> 01:28:07,544
Problem is, I don't see
no singing windmill anywhere.
1336
01:28:07,628 --> 01:28:09,505
Wait...
1337
01:28:09,588 --> 01:28:10,672
I hear it.
1338
01:28:11,924 --> 01:28:13,592
Yeah, it's coming from over there.
1339
01:28:13,675 --> 01:28:16,762
Ah! Daddy! Daddy!
1340
01:28:17,429 --> 01:28:19,598
Daddy!
Huh?
1341
01:28:19,681 --> 01:28:20,766
Whoa...
1342
01:28:21,893 --> 01:28:24,896
We're saved! We're saved!
1343
01:28:26,522 --> 01:28:30,026
Oh, it's just these assholes.
1344
01:28:30,109 --> 01:28:31,818
What the hell happened to you guys?
1345
01:28:31,903 --> 01:28:38,284
We was headed west to Frisco
after we absconded with your loot.
1346
01:28:40,369 --> 01:28:42,914
But we ran into these real bad characters.
1347
01:28:42,997 --> 01:28:46,625
It was Cicero something
and his crazy-ass gang.
1348
01:28:47,877 --> 01:28:50,421
Cicero was here?
Then he left?
1349
01:28:50,504 --> 01:28:54,175
He left us in the dirt for fun.
1350
01:28:54,258 --> 01:28:55,801
Ow! Ow, ow!
1351
01:28:56,510 --> 01:28:57,553
Who does that?
1352
01:28:57,636 --> 01:28:59,972
Sicko!
1353
01:29:01,682 --> 01:29:04,894
If this is where the singing windmill is,
then why would they just up and leave?
1354
01:29:04,977 --> 01:29:08,397
Maybe that Stickie McSchnickens guy
was just pulling our leg.
1355
01:29:08,480 --> 01:29:11,692
They went north...
about two hours ago.
1356
01:29:11,775 --> 01:29:12,985
Oh, yeah! Tommy can track 'em.
1357
01:29:13,069 --> 01:29:14,987
Let's saddle up.
We're burning daylight.
1358
01:29:15,071 --> 01:29:16,113
Wait!
1359
01:29:16,197 --> 01:29:18,657
You can't just leave us here,
you gotta get us out!
1360
01:29:18,740 --> 01:29:20,201
You don't need to... Hey, hey, hey!
1361
01:29:20,284 --> 01:29:21,452
We still got the money!
1362
01:29:21,535 --> 01:29:24,455
Yeah, I hid it in my pants.
We'll give it back to ya!
1363
01:29:24,538 --> 01:29:25,998
We don't need no more.
Let's go!
1364
01:29:28,084 --> 01:29:30,627
Hey! Can you at least
help me pick these ants
1365
01:29:30,711 --> 01:29:33,339
out of my beard before you head out?
1366
01:29:33,422 --> 01:29:34,673
Please?
1367
01:29:34,756 --> 01:29:37,259
Tell you what,
we'll dig you up on one condition.
1368
01:29:37,343 --> 01:29:39,678
You say it, we'll do it!
1369
01:29:39,761 --> 01:29:42,098
That you give up your lives of crime
1370
01:29:42,181 --> 01:29:45,476
and take this second chance to start
doing good by people.
1371
01:29:45,559 --> 01:29:47,936
- I'd rather die!
- Hell, no! I ain't doing that!
1372
01:29:48,020 --> 01:29:50,397
No way! Dumb Indian half!
1373
01:29:51,357 --> 01:29:52,691
That was a joke!
That was a joke!
1374
01:29:52,774 --> 01:29:55,069
I'll be a good boy!
I'll be a good boy, Daddy!
1375
01:30:03,494 --> 01:30:05,496
Now what?
East or west?
1376
01:30:05,579 --> 01:30:06,663
Whoa.
1377
01:30:19,218 --> 01:30:21,178
Late in the day.
1378
01:30:21,262 --> 01:30:23,847
Lot of traffic been going through here.
1379
01:30:23,930 --> 01:30:25,516
It's going to take a minute.
1380
01:30:25,599 --> 01:30:28,644
Well, we must be getting mighty close.
1381
01:30:28,727 --> 01:30:31,813
They'd better be treating Dad well,
or they're gonna have to answer to us.
1382
01:30:31,897 --> 01:30:33,649
There he is.
1383
01:30:33,732 --> 01:30:35,026
There's the man himself.
1384
01:30:35,109 --> 01:30:36,985
- Look at that handsome hombre.
- Yeah.
1385
01:30:37,069 --> 01:30:39,196
That's where we get our good looks.
1386
01:30:39,280 --> 01:30:41,448
Let me see ol' Pop.
1387
01:30:54,045 --> 01:30:56,088
Does he still
look like that, Tommy?
1388
01:30:57,173 --> 01:30:58,257
Tommy?
1389
01:30:59,216 --> 01:31:00,717
Yeah, he does.
1390
01:31:01,885 --> 01:31:04,513
Let's set up camp tonight.
Right out there.
1391
01:31:04,596 --> 01:31:05,931
But we can't waste any time.
1392
01:31:06,014 --> 01:31:09,185
Chico... I can't figure it out right now.
1393
01:31:09,268 --> 01:31:10,436
I gotta...
1394
01:31:10,519 --> 01:31:12,521
Just give me till sunrise.
Let me think.
1395
01:31:42,426 --> 01:31:43,760
Dear brothers,
1396
01:31:43,844 --> 01:31:48,140
by the time you read this,
I will have caught up with Dad.
1397
01:31:48,224 --> 01:31:52,018
And I'm sure you're sore at me
for sneaking out on you.
1398
01:31:52,103 --> 01:31:57,858
But this fellow, Cicero, who took Pa,
also took my mother's life,
1399
01:31:57,941 --> 01:32:00,986
and I mean to make him pay for that.
1400
01:32:01,069 --> 01:32:03,029
Things might get messy.
1401
01:32:03,114 --> 01:32:06,325
I can live
with all the bad stuff we've done,
1402
01:32:06,408 --> 01:32:11,872
the hold-ups, the burglaries,
the accidental decapitation,
1403
01:32:11,955 --> 01:32:16,335
but I couldn't live with myself
if something happened to one of you.
1404
01:32:16,418 --> 01:32:21,590
So stay put and I'll be back with Dad
as soon as I can.
1405
01:32:21,673 --> 01:32:23,550
And if I don't come back,
1406
01:32:23,634 --> 01:32:27,763
know that I love you boys
with all my heart.
1407
01:32:27,846 --> 01:32:30,349
Your brother, Tommy.
1408
01:32:44,988 --> 01:32:46,323
Whoa.
1409
01:32:55,416 --> 01:32:57,459
Down at Silver Canyon...
1410
01:32:57,543 --> 01:33:00,003
Meeting Betty Dunson...
1411
01:33:00,086 --> 01:33:03,299
was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.
1412
01:33:05,467 --> 01:33:07,511
Mom was his biggest score.
1413
01:33:09,180 --> 01:33:10,181
Hyah.
1414
01:33:18,272 --> 01:33:19,273
Here we are.
1415
01:33:19,356 --> 01:33:21,650
We'd better not have come
all this way for nothing.
1416
01:33:21,733 --> 01:33:24,653
- I want the money, Frank.
- I know what you want.
1417
01:33:25,612 --> 01:33:27,406
There's your money.
1418
01:33:27,489 --> 01:33:28,657
Count it.
1419
01:33:28,740 --> 01:33:30,492
Tommy!
1420
01:33:30,576 --> 01:33:31,868
Oh, look who showed up.
1421
01:33:31,952 --> 01:33:35,372
I didn't know if somebody
dug up what you buried, Pa,
1422
01:33:35,456 --> 01:33:38,041
so I wanted to make sure
you were covered either way.
1423
01:33:38,124 --> 01:33:39,960
Thank you, son.
1424
01:33:40,043 --> 01:33:41,753
Well, ain't that a good boy.
1425
01:33:41,837 --> 01:33:43,464
That's my boy.
1426
01:33:43,547 --> 01:33:45,966
Well, it's been a pleasure, Frank.
1427
01:33:46,049 --> 01:33:47,801
But, uh...
1428
01:33:47,884 --> 01:33:49,135
we'll be on our way.
1429
01:33:49,220 --> 01:33:50,971
Not so fast.
1430
01:33:51,054 --> 01:33:54,099
You and me got some unfinished business.
1431
01:33:54,182 --> 01:33:56,393
No, our business is done.
1432
01:33:56,477 --> 01:34:00,231
Pa... you remember how I told you Ma died?
1433
01:34:00,314 --> 01:34:01,315
Yeah.
1434
01:34:01,398 --> 01:34:05,151
Well, the son of a bitch who shot her...
1435
01:34:05,236 --> 01:34:07,363
had a tattoo on his hand...
1436
01:34:09,531 --> 01:34:11,575
just like Cicero here.
1437
01:34:12,493 --> 01:34:14,745
What, you mean...
1438
01:34:14,828 --> 01:34:16,538
my little horseshoe?
1439
01:34:16,622 --> 01:34:18,832
That's always brought me luck.
1440
01:34:19,416 --> 01:34:21,877
Especially when I was shooting somebody.
1441
01:34:21,960 --> 01:34:25,171
Well, killer, your luck just ran out.
1442
01:34:26,340 --> 01:34:28,884
Your hand touch that knife, boy,
1443
01:34:28,967 --> 01:34:31,345
it'll be the last thing you ever touch.
1444
01:34:31,428 --> 01:34:33,764
Oh, I ain't using these knives.
1445
01:34:34,640 --> 01:34:36,517
No.
1446
01:34:36,600 --> 01:34:38,810
Not for my mama.
1447
01:34:38,894 --> 01:34:43,064
I saved a special one just for you.
1448
01:34:57,413 --> 01:34:59,581
Now you die, Injun-lover.
1449
01:35:02,709 --> 01:35:04,670
He dies, you die.
1450
01:35:07,381 --> 01:35:11,385
Fourteen of us, six of you.
Doesn't seem quite fair, does it?
1451
01:35:11,468 --> 01:35:13,804
Make that twelve of us.
1452
01:35:18,475 --> 01:35:19,476
Twelve of us!
1453
01:35:23,980 --> 01:35:26,358
I ain't sign up for this shit.
1454
01:35:59,015 --> 01:36:00,225
You seeing this?
1455
01:36:00,308 --> 01:36:01,935
- It's not working.
- What are you doing?
1456
01:36:02,018 --> 01:36:03,895
Don't look like a tumbleweed at all, Herm.
1457
01:36:03,979 --> 01:36:05,313
Herm, come back!
Come back, Herm.
1458
01:36:06,773 --> 01:36:09,568
All right, all right.
Now, everybody just calm down.
1459
01:36:09,651 --> 01:36:13,780
A man's entitled...
to kill his mother's killer.
1460
01:36:13,864 --> 01:36:19,536
Plus... that's one less guy
you've got to split the money with!
1461
01:36:19,620 --> 01:36:22,373
Good thinking, Frank.
Let's ride!
1462
01:36:22,456 --> 01:36:24,708
- Yeah!
- Yeah, get on out of here!
1463
01:36:27,419 --> 01:36:31,507
Good job, son.
I'm really proud of you.
1464
01:36:31,590 --> 01:36:35,594
And getting your friends to come
all the way out here with you, brilliant.
1465
01:36:35,677 --> 01:36:40,641
Well, sir...
they ain't just my friends, they, uh...
1466
01:36:40,724 --> 01:36:41,767
They're my brothers.
1467
01:36:48,690 --> 01:36:49,941
Five?
1468
01:36:50,025 --> 01:36:52,110
You had fun, didn't you, sir?
1469
01:36:54,696 --> 01:36:57,699
Well, I'm gonna introduce myself.
1470
01:36:57,783 --> 01:36:59,951
I think they'd like that.
1471
01:37:05,081 --> 01:37:08,710
Frank Stockburn, your dad.
1472
01:37:10,712 --> 01:37:13,840
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
1473
01:37:13,924 --> 01:37:15,717
- Father.
- Son.
1474
01:37:18,011 --> 01:37:20,055
This is my burro.
1475
01:37:20,138 --> 01:37:22,140
Proud to know you, Burro.
1476
01:37:24,059 --> 01:37:25,351
He's proud.
1477
01:37:25,436 --> 01:37:28,772
You must be, uh,
Saint Louis, right?
1478
01:37:28,855 --> 01:37:30,106
Chico.
1479
01:37:30,190 --> 01:37:33,359
Boy, you got your mom's muscles.
1480
01:37:34,611 --> 01:37:36,029
You a prizefighter?
1481
01:37:37,405 --> 01:37:40,366
No, actually, I'm a...
piano player.
1482
01:37:40,451 --> 01:37:42,077
Oh, well, I'll be!
1483
01:37:42,160 --> 01:37:45,997
You know, I've been known
to tickle the ivories myself.
1484
01:37:46,081 --> 01:37:48,083
Now and then, you know.
1485
01:37:48,166 --> 01:37:50,418
We should play together sometime.
1486
01:37:52,337 --> 01:37:54,172
I'd like that, Dad.
1487
01:37:54,255 --> 01:37:56,091
I'd like that a lot.
1488
01:37:56,174 --> 01:37:57,759
Yeah, son, we'll do that.
1489
01:38:08,394 --> 01:38:10,814
You must be Delilah's boy.
1490
01:38:12,858 --> 01:38:16,444
Boy, she made some fine,
fine whiskey.
1491
01:38:16,528 --> 01:38:17,738
Ooh, yeah.
1492
01:38:19,490 --> 01:38:23,577
She must've been really hitting it hard
when she was pregnant with you.
1493
01:38:33,336 --> 01:38:35,130
Atta boy, atta boy.
1494
01:38:35,839 --> 01:38:38,008
Da-da.
1495
01:38:38,091 --> 01:38:40,135
And, uh... you are?
1496
01:38:40,218 --> 01:38:44,055
I'm Lil Pete. I'm your son!
I love you so much, Dad!
1497
01:38:44,139 --> 01:38:45,974
- I have three nipples.
- Yeah, well...
1498
01:38:46,057 --> 01:38:47,976
It's always good to have a spare.
1499
01:38:49,853 --> 01:38:52,272
- Gall dang, you have one, too?
- Yeah.
1500
01:38:52,355 --> 01:38:54,107
Do you like to play with the extra one?
1501
01:38:54,190 --> 01:38:55,651
Oh, you betcha.
1502
01:38:55,734 --> 01:38:58,319
Oh, Pa, I have a question for you.
1503
01:38:58,403 --> 01:38:59,821
Yeah.
1504
01:38:59,905 --> 01:39:02,824
Where do babies come from?
1505
01:39:02,908 --> 01:39:06,537
Well, son, the mom just poops 'em out.
1506
01:39:06,620 --> 01:39:10,081
I knewed it!
I knewed it, Dad!
1507
01:39:11,583 --> 01:39:13,877
Well, look at this handsome devil.
1508
01:39:13,960 --> 01:39:16,421
Sir, I'm Danny.
1509
01:39:16,504 --> 01:39:18,549
It's awful nice to finally meet ya.
1510
01:39:18,632 --> 01:39:21,176
Could you help me with a problem?
1511
01:39:21,259 --> 01:39:23,219
I did a real stupid thing
1512
01:39:23,303 --> 01:39:27,891
that inadvertently led to the death
of a United States President,
1513
01:39:27,974 --> 01:39:32,020
and I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.
1514
01:39:33,689 --> 01:39:36,024
Well, son...
1515
01:39:36,107 --> 01:39:37,568
look in my eyes.
1516
01:39:39,861 --> 01:39:41,738
Shit happens.
1517
01:39:43,031 --> 01:39:44,783
Yeah.
1518
01:39:44,866 --> 01:39:47,118
Yeah, right.
1519
01:39:47,202 --> 01:39:49,495
Thanks. Thank you, sir.
1520
01:39:49,580 --> 01:39:50,956
You're welcome.
1521
01:39:51,039 --> 01:39:54,167
So, where to now, huh?
1522
01:39:54,250 --> 01:39:57,796
Well, sir, Smoking Fox and me
are getting married in a few days,
1523
01:39:57,879 --> 01:40:01,132
and Screaming Eagle's
walking her down the aisle,
1524
01:40:01,216 --> 01:40:04,385
and I was hoping...
1525
01:40:04,469 --> 01:40:06,847
you could be there, next to me.
1526
01:40:06,930 --> 01:40:09,641
Oh, you mean your best man?
1527
01:40:09,725 --> 01:40:11,142
Yes, sir.
1528
01:40:11,226 --> 01:40:13,019
Oh, Tommy...
1529
01:40:13,103 --> 01:40:15,731
You know, that's...
that's quite an honor.
1530
01:40:15,814 --> 01:40:18,358
- It would be my honor, sir.
- Yeah. Well, uh...
1531
01:40:21,527 --> 01:40:24,530
But unfortunately, I...
1532
01:40:24,615 --> 01:40:27,993
I got some business up north
that I gotta attend to.
1533
01:40:28,076 --> 01:40:31,121
I gotta collect some gambling debts and...
1534
01:40:31,204 --> 01:40:34,916
You know,
just to pay the doctors and such.
1535
01:40:35,000 --> 01:40:38,461
Say, Dad. You don't ever gotta worry
about money ever again.
1536
01:40:38,544 --> 01:40:41,256
We had to conjure up 50 grand twice!
1537
01:40:41,339 --> 01:40:43,299
So we ended up with 100!
1538
01:40:44,425 --> 01:40:45,665
- A hundred?
- Yes, sir.
1539
01:40:45,719 --> 01:40:47,929
There's another 50 grand?
1540
01:40:48,013 --> 01:40:49,765
Yes, sir.
1541
01:40:49,848 --> 01:40:52,684
Right here,
in the burro's saddlebag.
1542
01:40:53,226 --> 01:40:57,898
So that business can wait up north,
can't it... best man?
1543
01:40:58,940 --> 01:41:03,779
Well, now that you mention it,
maybe I should change my plans.
1544
01:41:03,862 --> 01:41:06,531
- Bueno. Bueno.
- Yeah.
1545
01:41:12,120 --> 01:41:14,205
Hey! What are they doing back?
1546
01:41:20,378 --> 01:41:21,880
What is this?
1547
01:41:22,798 --> 01:41:25,550
I guess it's time you kids
1548
01:41:25,633 --> 01:41:30,263
learned the truth
about your dear old dad, huh?
1549
01:41:30,346 --> 01:41:33,809
I'm just too famous.
1550
01:41:33,892 --> 01:41:37,020
I can't walk into any town
west of the Rockies
1551
01:41:37,103 --> 01:41:39,856
without someone calling the law.
1552
01:41:39,940 --> 01:41:44,319
So, I came up with a way
we could make 50 grand
1553
01:41:44,402 --> 01:41:46,487
without lifting a finger.
1554
01:41:46,571 --> 01:41:50,450
And you rascals brought us double!
1555
01:41:50,533 --> 01:41:52,869
Are these my kids or what?
1556
01:41:54,162 --> 01:41:55,413
Son of a bitch!
1557
01:41:56,790 --> 01:41:59,375
If our two gangs joined forces,
1558
01:41:59,459 --> 01:42:03,379
there's not a lawman in the West
that would stand up against us.
1559
01:42:03,463 --> 01:42:06,216
What makes you think we'd turn
to a life of crime?
1560
01:42:06,299 --> 01:42:08,218
'Cause it's in your blood.
1561
01:42:08,301 --> 01:42:10,261
Answer me something.
1562
01:42:10,345 --> 01:42:15,892
Were you ever great at anything
in your life besides stealing?
1563
01:42:17,728 --> 01:42:19,270
No. No.
1564
01:42:19,354 --> 01:42:23,191
You apples didn't fall far from this tree.
1565
01:42:23,274 --> 01:42:25,610
Don't deny who you are.
1566
01:42:25,693 --> 01:42:28,363
If you knew who we really were,
1567
01:42:28,446 --> 01:42:31,074
you'd be very scared right now.
1568
01:42:33,659 --> 01:42:36,287
Don't overplay your hand, son.
1569
01:42:37,873 --> 01:42:40,125
I'm still holding an ace.
1570
01:42:49,509 --> 01:42:51,677
I found her. I...
1571
01:42:51,762 --> 01:42:53,221
I told you I'd find her.
1572
01:42:57,517 --> 01:43:02,022
This little beauty stumbled into our camp
a few days ago.
1573
01:43:04,690 --> 01:43:07,193
She actually tried to rescue me.
1574
01:43:07,277 --> 01:43:12,157
I'm guessing this means you don't want
me to be your best man no more, huh?
1575
01:43:15,076 --> 01:43:18,121
Well, I'm gonna make this
real simple for you.
1576
01:43:19,414 --> 01:43:25,586
Hand over the other 50 grand...
in that stupid ass' saddlebag,
1577
01:43:25,670 --> 01:43:31,009
or I put a bullet
in her pretty Apache head.
1578
01:43:33,929 --> 01:43:35,180
That ain't gonna happen.
1579
01:43:35,889 --> 01:43:37,223
Oh, it ain't?
1580
01:43:37,307 --> 01:43:38,599
No, sir.
1581
01:43:39,559 --> 01:43:40,811
Why's that?
1582
01:43:40,894 --> 01:43:43,771
Mmm... kind of a secret.
1583
01:43:43,855 --> 01:43:47,943
Well, you can tell your old man,
can't ya?
1584
01:43:50,904 --> 01:43:52,864
You know that bag...
1585
01:43:52,948 --> 01:43:55,366
- your boy's holding?
- Uh-huh.
1586
01:43:56,034 --> 01:43:57,828
It was meant for Cicero.
1587
01:43:57,911 --> 01:44:00,914
So there's something special in there.
1588
01:44:00,997 --> 01:44:03,458
- Plan B.
- Plan B?
1589
01:44:03,541 --> 01:44:04,709
Plan B.
1590
01:44:04,792 --> 01:44:06,544
Give me that bag.
1591
01:44:14,302 --> 01:44:15,803
Oh, shit!
1592
01:44:30,526 --> 01:44:31,806
Where is she?
1593
01:44:42,455 --> 01:44:44,457
Smoking Fox.
1594
01:44:56,094 --> 01:44:57,845
Nighty-night, son.
1595
01:45:05,770 --> 01:45:09,065
Danny, are you all right?
1596
01:45:10,858 --> 01:45:13,778
You done good, Daniel.
You saved me.
1597
01:45:15,530 --> 01:45:17,949
It's my duty, Mr. President.
1598
01:45:21,619 --> 01:45:23,079
Mrs. Lincoln.
1599
01:45:24,539 --> 01:45:26,707
Come on! Come on!
Come here.
1600
01:45:31,712 --> 01:45:32,755
Get in.
1601
01:45:53,901 --> 01:45:55,028
I got one!
1602
01:45:55,111 --> 01:45:56,696
Clem, you almost shot me!
1603
01:45:56,779 --> 01:45:58,239
Come on, get the horses!
1604
01:45:58,323 --> 01:46:01,117
My ass! My ass!
1605
01:46:04,245 --> 01:46:05,746
Hey!
1606
01:46:05,830 --> 01:46:09,292
Is this here still valid,
or is it too burnt up?
1607
01:46:09,375 --> 01:46:10,918
Let me take a look here.
1608
01:46:11,002 --> 01:46:13,088
Uh, that looks good to me.
I mean, this looks good.
1609
01:46:13,171 --> 01:46:14,172
What in the hell?
1610
01:46:14,255 --> 01:46:16,716
You didn't scoop yours out,
did you?
1611
01:46:19,927 --> 01:46:21,221
What was the question again?
1612
01:46:21,304 --> 01:46:23,306
What?
1613
01:46:23,389 --> 01:46:25,433
Did any of you really do it?
1614
01:46:30,563 --> 01:46:33,024
Well, then whose eyes are in that jar?
1615
01:46:33,108 --> 01:46:34,317
Uh...
1616
01:46:34,400 --> 01:46:37,820
Well, Babyface found some rocks,
and, uh, painted them.
1617
01:46:37,903 --> 01:46:39,697
Surprise?
1618
01:46:53,336 --> 01:46:56,631
Hey, Tom,
you wanna play a game
1619
01:46:56,714 --> 01:47:01,219
to make up for all the father-son time
we missed?
1620
01:47:01,302 --> 01:47:02,887
Peek-a-boo.
1621
01:47:09,685 --> 01:47:11,521
Hey, come over here!
1622
01:47:11,604 --> 01:47:13,398
No, come over there!
1623
01:47:19,195 --> 01:47:21,906
You could have had everything, son.
1624
01:47:21,989 --> 01:47:24,659
But you had to do the right thing.
1625
01:47:27,495 --> 01:47:31,499
Let me leave you
with a bit of fatherly advice.
1626
01:47:32,792 --> 01:47:38,005
Never bring a knife to a gunfight.
1627
01:47:38,089 --> 01:47:41,092
One day,
there will be too many, my love.
1628
01:47:41,176 --> 01:47:42,385
But not today.
1629
01:47:57,442 --> 01:48:00,070
That was some mystical shit.
1630
01:48:05,450 --> 01:48:06,951
Tommy.
1631
01:48:07,034 --> 01:48:10,413
You knew Cicero killed my mother.
1632
01:48:10,496 --> 01:48:12,332
No!
1633
01:48:12,415 --> 01:48:13,749
No, I didn't know that.
1634
01:48:13,833 --> 01:48:15,460
No more lies!
1635
01:48:16,294 --> 01:48:18,671
Yeah, I knew. I knew.
1636
01:48:18,754 --> 01:48:20,673
Your mother insisted on telling.
1637
01:48:20,756 --> 01:48:24,177
She was going to rat the whole gang out,
and I tried to convince her...
1638
01:48:25,803 --> 01:48:29,056
Tommy, look, I'm your father,
for God's sake.
1639
01:48:29,140 --> 01:48:31,267
You don't kill your father, Tommy.
1640
01:48:37,440 --> 01:48:40,276
His name is White Knife.
1641
01:48:46,741 --> 01:48:48,784
I ain't gonna kill you.
1642
01:48:50,995 --> 01:48:54,749
'Cause my true father taught me otherwise.
1643
01:49:08,263 --> 01:49:10,306
You can't leave me like this!
1644
01:49:13,143 --> 01:49:14,269
Tommy!
1645
01:49:16,020 --> 01:49:18,063
You can't leave me here alone!
1646
01:49:51,472 --> 01:49:55,476
Dear Mama, so much has changed
since my last letter.
1647
01:49:55,560 --> 01:49:57,478
I scarcely know where to begin.
1648
01:49:57,562 --> 01:50:02,775
First off, it turns out our daddy
is a bad, bad man,
1649
01:50:02,858 --> 01:50:05,069
and he got thrown in jail.
1650
01:50:09,532 --> 01:50:14,495
But it's okay, 'cause Screaming Eagle,
the Indian chief who raised Tommy,
1651
01:50:14,579 --> 01:50:16,914
said he'd be all our dads, too.
1652
01:50:24,880 --> 01:50:27,592
I really like it here in this village.
1653
01:50:27,675 --> 01:50:31,262
Our new brothers and sisters
love to have fun
1654
01:50:31,346 --> 01:50:34,557
and have been so nice to all of us.
1655
01:50:34,640 --> 01:50:37,727
These white guys cannot dance.
1656
01:50:38,894 --> 01:50:40,896
Danny don't drink
whiskey no more.
1657
01:50:40,980 --> 01:50:42,482
- No.
- Yee-haw!
1658
01:50:43,233 --> 01:50:46,861
And Ramon and Herm
are trying to learn Indian ways.
1659
01:51:01,208 --> 01:51:03,753
Oh, and big news...
1660
01:51:03,836 --> 01:51:06,005
I finally have a girlfriend,
1661
01:51:06,088 --> 01:51:09,300
and she's much prettier
than a canty-loupe.
1662
01:51:09,384 --> 01:51:11,927
Come on, you two!
You're missing all the fun.
1663
01:51:12,011 --> 01:51:16,140
Anyways, Mama, thanks for raising me.
1664
01:51:16,223 --> 01:51:19,477
Your loving son, Lil Pete,
1665
01:51:19,560 --> 01:51:23,606
proud member of the Ridiculous 6.
1666
01:58:48,133 --> 01:58:49,134
Before you go...
1667
01:58:49,218 --> 01:58:52,262
Two, four, six, eight.
1668
01:58:52,346 --> 01:58:54,556
Who do we appreciate?
1669
01:58:54,639 --> 01:58:57,392
The Stockburns! The Stockburns!
1670
01:58:57,476 --> 01:59:00,062
Yeah! The Stockburns!
1671
01:59:00,086 --> 01:59:16,086
Hope it helped -> bozxphd