1
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,760
For most people, a burrito
is a delicious meal
2
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,888
wrapped in a tortilla,
but for one NYPD officer,
3
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,933
it turned out to be a mouse
wrapped in a nightmare.
4
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,518
So I order
a grande steak.
5
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,603
I get back to my car,
take a big bite, and crunch.
6
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,563
That's when I see it,
a dead mouse.
7
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,482
A dead mouse
that Frank O'Sullivan,
8
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:24,983
the President
of the Patrolman's Union,
9
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:27,194
says was put there
on purpose.
10
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,530
This was an act
of political violence
11
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,031
organized by a group
12
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,324
of radical anti-cop
13
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:33,909
Antifa anarchists
14
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,702
working out
of The Burrito Haven.
15
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,412
This is bogus.
16
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:40,332
The officer called in a to-go
order under the name Tom.
17
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,251
The restaurant had
no idea he was a cop
18
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,086
when they made the food
or packed the bag.
19
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,004
So, clearly,
he wasn't targeted
20
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,130
for "being
a police officer."
21
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,924
I've always wanted
to try mouse meat.
22
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,051
I hear it's really
tasty. From who?
23
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,178
The union made it up
as a power move.
24
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:54,346
O'Sullivan wants me
to issue
25
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,431
a statement of public
support for the officer,
26
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,141
to give them all
extra hazard pay
27
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,061
and to wear this "Never
Forget Burrito" ribbon.
28
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,771
Weird. It's the exact
same color
29
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,273
as my "Color Blind
Awareness" ribbon.
30
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,357
No, it isn't.
31
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:06,984
I won't give in to
any of their demands.
32
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,443
The union is powerful,
but I'm sure
33
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,654
that most of our uniformed
officers understand
34
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,447
this incident
is nonsense.
35
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,951
It is, as Peralta would say,
"No big whoop."
36
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,452
Oh, I appreciate
the shout-out, sir,
37
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,288
but I actually don't
pronounce the "H" in whoop.
38
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,124
Sir, all the uniformed
officers just left.
39
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,292
They're staging
a walkout.
40
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,461
Well, it seems
I was wrong.
41
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,630
The "whoop"
is big after all.
42
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,507
It is.
43
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,427
Again, though, there's...
There's no "H" in whoop.
44
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,596
It's silent.
"Whoop."
45
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,264
Whoop.
"Whoop."
46
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,849
Am I crazy?
How do you say it?
47
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,809
I say whoop.
Okay.
48
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,081
How is it possible
that every single
49
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,875
uniformed officer
got sick at once?
50
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,168
They're not
actually sick.
51
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,419
They aren't
allowed to strike,
52
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:08,795
so they made up
a medical excuse.
53
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,005
It's called a blue flu.
54
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,215
Without uniforms
on the street, crime's gonna go up.
55
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,842
Do we have to
negotiate with the union?
56
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,053
No. I haven't gone
through decades of hell
57
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,055
to become a captain
in the NYPD
58
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,223
just to cave to a clown
like O'Sullivan.
59
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,142
We can't let him win,
and we won't.
60
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,310
But how?
What are we gonna do?
61
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,187
I'm initiating
Operation Trident.
62
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,064
Cool. Just like
the sugarless gum,
63
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,732
because we're gonna
chew them up.
64
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,401
No, like the famed
weapon of the sea,
65
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,112
forged by the Cyclops
for Poseidon himself.
66
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,781
The trident
has three prongs,
67
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:36,865
like my approach.
68
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,116
Ah, not
to interrupt,
69
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,077
but Aquaman's trident
has five prongs.
70
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,330
That's absurd. The
prefix "tri" means three.
71
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,041
What this aquatic-man carries
is better termed a "pentadent."
72
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,417
No,
it's a trident.
73
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,544
They call it that in the
original theatrical release
74
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,629
and the Snyder Cut.
75
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,172
So you're 100% wrong,
and everyone's laughing at you.
76
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,049
Well, regardless,
Operation Trident
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00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,133
has three prongs.
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00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,843
Prong one,
Boyle and Peralta.
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00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,303
Oh, nice, the most
important prong.
80
00:02:58,387 --> 00:02:59,388
Mmm-hmm.
Wrong.
81
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:00,639
Prong two,
the center prong,
82
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,432
is the most important
prong on a trident.
83
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,892
It's the longest
and straightest
84
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,019
and breaks
the least often.
85
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,938
Are you just mad because I
questioned you about the Aquaman thing?
86
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,482
Yes. The officers
all had doctor's notes.
87
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,817
Prove those notes
are fraudulent,
88
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,360
and they'll be forced
back to work.
89
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,444
We're on it.
Prong two,
90
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,823
Jeffords and Santiago,
your job is to keep crime down.
91
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,492
Figure out how we police
this precinct with no police.
92
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,577
Prong two, baby,
the best prong.
93
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,413
I mean, we're all
in it together.
94
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,123
It's not like this is
a competition between prongs.
95
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,833
Says the prong
who breaks the most.
96
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,085
Prong three is proving
they faked the mouse
97
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,169
in the burrito.
98
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,505
If we can demonstrate
this was a media stunt,
99
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,549
the uniforms will have
to come back to work.
100
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,801
But this investigation
must be done unofficially
101
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,554
with an investigator
from outside the NYPD,
102
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,681
aka Rosa Diaz.
103
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,474
It's a good idea,
but she's not gonna like
104
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,601
being one of those dinky side prongs.
That's a good point.
105
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,311
I'll make hers
the sharpest.
106
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,688
Dismissed.
What? No!
107
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,981
I want to be
a sharp prong!
108
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,149
That's not fair!
109
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,818
All these notes are
from the same doctor.
110
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,154
Everyone got a blood test,
and they all had mono.
111
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,363
That seems
really improbable.
112
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,115
Yeah, nobody gets
mono at this age.
113
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,367
You get it as an eight-year-old,
and then you're immune.
114
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,660
Wait, you get it
as an eight-year-old?
115
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,911
Mono?
The kissing disease?
116
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,121
No, it's the
cousin's disease.
117
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,539
You get it by
kissing your cousins.
118
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,957
Oh, I guess
we're both right.
119
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,417
No.
120
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,669
Wait a minute,
if you're immune,
121
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,588
then you can tell the doctor
you're from the Nine-Nine,
122
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,214
and when he gives you
a mono diagnosis...
123
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:17,716
We'll have proof
that his notes are fake.
124
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,844
Wow. I can't believe all
those lazy childhood afternoons
125
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,846
playing hide the yam
finally paid off.
126
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,477
You see,
you take a yam... I don't want to know!
127
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,561
Prong two update,
128
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,271
I brought in our
night-shift detectives
129
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,355
to handle
the dispatch calls
130
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,399
and respond to major crimes..
.
131
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,944
Sorry. That's
Terry's tummy.
132
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,613
I'm feeling
a little nauseous.
133
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,281
Must've been something
I had for breakfast.
134
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,200
Well, do you have to go home,
or can you tough it out?
135
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,577
So, if Terry goes home,
he's not tough?
136
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,829
Here we go. Lieutenant, we don't
have the time today to make this
137
00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,331
about some
larger insecurity
138
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,916
you have regarding
your toughness.
139
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,460
First of all,
I'm not insecure about my toughness.
140
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:57,297
Secondly, being sick has
nothing to do with being tough.
141
00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,383
Thirdly, if I wasn't tough,
would I be daring Amy
142
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,552
to punch me in the
stomach? Wha...
143
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,513
Come on, Amy!
Give me your best shot!
144
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,306
Fine. Just so that
we can move on.
145
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,771
See? I'm fine.
146
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,272
Now, if you'll
excuse me,
147
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,691
I'm gonna go for a walk
in the fresh air
148
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,944
with my best friend,
the trash can.
149
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,363
I'll be back,
'cause I'm tough!
150
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,240
Let's talk quickly
before he returns
151
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,449
and makes this all
about himself again.
152
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,910
Okay. We can't use
uniforms from other precincts
153
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,286
because they'll
call out sick, too.
154
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,330
So I asked the other
captains in the district
155
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,832
to lend us
some detectives.
156
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,166
Smart. They have
a different union.
157
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,876
And they each sent us
two people.
158
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,336
They said they were
happy to do it.
159
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,879
Huh. That's odd.
160
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,965
I wouldn't be happy
to give up
161
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,758
two of my detectives,
unless...
162
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:42,968
Dear God.
163
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,553
They sent us their
Hitchcock-and-Scullys.
164
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,138
It's a nightmare.
165
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,348
So you've been
feeling fatigued?
166
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,141
Yeah. I think
I have mono.
167
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,935
I'm from
the 99th precinct.
168
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,019
Oh, yeah,
I've heard
169
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,729
they've had some kind of
outbreak there.
Mmm-hmm.
170
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,982
So now that you know
where I'm from,
171
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,316
can you just
write me a note?
172
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,360
Uh, no, actually,
I need to order bloodwork
173
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,279
and do a full exam.
Ah.
174
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,114
Lift up.
Oh, yeah.
175
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,740
Oh. Now, that
is interesting.
176
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,909
Oh, did you find
a sign of mono?
177
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,536
No, it's your testicle.
My what?
178
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,829
The left one
is enormous.
179
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,248
Oh, well, can't one
testicle be larger than the other?
180
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,001
Well, yes,
but it shouldn't be that large.
181
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,462
And also of concern is
the shape and the color...
182
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,589
Yeah, that doesn't
sound good.
183
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,673
...and the texture.
184
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,800
Wow! Oh, that
is ice cold!
185
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,638
So...
So...
186
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,223
You heard all that?
I did.
187
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,850
Even the part where he's
talking about my huge...
188
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,352
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
All the parts.
189
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,062
You okay?
Yeah.
190
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,565
I mean, could be cancer,
might have spread.
191
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,650
But I'm fine.
I can handle this.
192
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,027
You sure about that?
193
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,486
'Cause you're still wearing
your hospital gown there, bud.
194
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,616
So I am.
195
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,701
Ah,
there she is.
196
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,287
My sweet
secret prong three.
197
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,538
What the hell?
Oh, right.
198
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,582
You weren't there when I
explained Operation Trident.
199
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:56,875
So, uh,
what did you find?
200
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,793
Nothing yet,
and if you want me to keep digging,
201
00:06:58,877 --> 00:06:59,920
we need to talk
about my fee.
202
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,213
I need cash. Most of
my other work is pro bono.
203
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,007
This is unofficial.
I can't pay.
204
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,800
Right, but there is
something you can give me,
205
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,802
something just as
valuable as money.
206
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,429
I want to see
your tattoo.
207
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:10,513
That's just as valuable?
208
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,849
It is to Jake. He's offered
a significant reward.
209
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,310
Wow. It is so ridiculous
how much weight
210
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,686
you've all given
to my silly tattoo,
211
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,356
like it's some huge secret
that I'll take to my grave.
212
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,732
I notice you haven't
said yes yet.
213
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,233
'Cause no one
can ever know!
214
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,610
Okay, fine.
215
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,488
If you can prove how that
mouse got into that burrito,
216
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,740
I'll tell you
what my tattoo is.
217
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,325
I need a photo of it.
You're a monster!
218
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,327
Wait. I may not have
to deal with you.
219
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,204
Santiago,
how's prong two looking?
220
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,456
Well, the good news is
the Scully-and-Hitchcocks
221
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,916
actually work
well together.
222
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,000
That is good news.
223
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,336
The bad news is it's at
making a back-scratch circle.
224
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,963
I have always wondered
what it would be like
225
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,589
to have a tight-knit
work family.
226
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,967
Nine-Nine!
Nine-Nine!
227
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,387
Ah, there they are,
prong one,
228
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,138
my most
important prong.
229
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,349
Oh, thank you. Nice of
you to finally recognize
230
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,892
what our prong
brings to this.
231
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,270
Life is a cruel prank
played on the living.
232
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,564
Death mocks us all.
233
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,858
Time to go tell my
son he'll be an orphan...
234
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:05,568
...again.
235
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:08,071
So, yeah. Prong one pretty
much broke immediately.
236
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,990
I'm gonna call HR.
Get ahead of that butt.
237
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,577
Here's where we stand.
The blue flu continues.
238
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,037
O'Sullivan and the union
won't budge
239
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,914
on their
mouse-burrito demands.
240
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,125
Also, arrests are down.
241
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,752
Santiago, Jeffords,
what on earth happened yesterday?
242
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,671
The new detectives
won't do anything I ask.
243
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,131
And I've had
to work solo.
244
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,842
Sorry. I was feeling
a little sick,
245
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,510
but I am much
better now.
246
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,594
You look
like garbage.
247
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,471
Now,
I know you're trying to tough this out,
248
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,807
but I've always believed
that true toughness
249
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,059
means acknowledging
your own limitations.
250
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,311
It's okay, Terry.
Go home.
251
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,188
Thank you, sir.
I'll be back in a jiffy.
252
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,859
I can't believe
he bought that drivel.
253
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,194
True toughness means
working through pain.
254
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,404
Everyone knows that.
255
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,156
Peralta, where are
we with the doctor?
256
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,575
We're gonna tail him and see if he
contacts O'Sullivan.
Smart.
257
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,619
And, uh, what is going on with
Detective Boyle? Is he okay?
258
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,663
Oh,
you mean why is he face-deep in cheese?
259
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:01,082
Yeah, it's made from the
milk of a Balkan donkey,
260
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,459
and apparently
it's quite expensive.
261
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,627
Spent 12 thou
on ass cheese.
262
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:05,837
Also, he's
pretending like
263
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,672
he doesn't know what
ass cheese sounds like.
264
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,132
Are you sure
he should be working?
265
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,633
His doctor said there's
nothing to worry about
266
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,218
until we get the actual
test results back.
267
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,511
And Charles
said that work
268
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,597
is the only thing keeping
him from thinking about death.
269
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,140
Coat's to keep
me warm...
270
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,392
...in my grave.
271
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,688
I mean,
he's not doing great.
272
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,274
Oh, you guys still
have lunch together?
273
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,400
Twice a day, every day.
274
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,194
Look, I need help
figuring out
275
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,904
how to inspire
these new guys.
276
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,280
What motivates you?
277
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,032
Well, I'd do anything
to retire
278
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,534
and spend the rest of my
days with Hitchcock in Brazil.
279
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:37,786
Huh. That's actually
pretty helpful.
280
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:38,995
That's the dream.
281
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,747
Scully and me on the
sex barge I'm building.
282
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,373
Okay. Scully
was already helpful.
283
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,708
You don't have
to keep talking.
284
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,251
These are pedometers,
285
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,462
which will prove that you're
actually walking your beat.
286
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,882
But whoever gets
the most steps in
287
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,843
will receive
seven days of overtime.
288
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:58,264
Therefore,
you'll be one week closer to retirement.
289
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,642
And one week closer
to a couple's massage
290
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,894
with your best friend
on his sex barge.
291
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,441
Sir, guess what.
292
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,984
Lieutenant,
I thought you went home. I did.
293
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,153
But some uniforms heard
that I called out sick,
294
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,030
and they assumed
I was joining the blue flu.
295
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,825
They invited me to a meeting
tomorrow to talk strategy.
296
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:17,992
You could go record them
297
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,537
admitting that they don't
actually have mono.
298
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,455
That is,
if you're up to it. Hell yeah.
299
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,706
Terry's gonna
tough it out.
300
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,376
Terry's also gonna drink
some raspberry leaf tea
301
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,461
that Sharon uses to help
her with menstrual cramps.
302
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,171
Oh, looks like
we're adding a prong.
303
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,800
Operation Trident
is now Operation Fork.
304
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,802
Isn't there a cooler
word than "fork"?
305
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,011
I mean, something more
like "trident."
306
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,055
Oh, no. Did everyone assume
I was trying to be cool?
307
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,932
Is that why things
are going so poorly?
308
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,101
Damn it,
I've got to call Peralta.
309
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,146
No, Operation Fork
is definitely not cool.
310
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:47,814
Uh, yeah, things are
going good here.
311
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,315
We're just staking out
the doctor
312
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,483
and trying to keep
a low profile.
313
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:54,571
And I'll be Your crying...
314
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,031
Sorry about that. Just had
a bit of a noisy neighbor.
315
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,867
I'll be...
316
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,493
You know what,
sir? We have another noisy neighbor.
317
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,328
I'm just gonna
call you back. Bye.
318
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,206
All right, Charles,
I get it. You're scared.
319
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,251
But sometimes it helps
to say our fears out loud.
320
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,669
You know, if you put
words to them,
321
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:10,920
it can take away
some of their power.
322
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,005
So, come on.
323
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,674
Stop bottling up those fears
and get them out in the open.
324
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,178
Okay, well...
325
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,223
I'm scared that
whatever's in my testicle
326
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,350
has spread,
and that I'm gonna die.
327
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,228
And then I'll never get
to see Nikolaj grow up.
328
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,398
And I won't know what
kind of man he becomes.
329
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,443
Also, my time with you
will be cut short.
330
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:37,238
So no more stakeouts,
or drinks after a long shift
331
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:40,325
or midnight calls when you've
had a breakthrough in a case.
332
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,036
I've always had this
image of us in our 90s
333
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,330
hunting down criminals
at the retirement home,
334
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:49,250
but I guess that was
just a dumb fantasy
335
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,961
because soon
I won't be here anymore,
336
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,963
because I'll be
dead and gone
337
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,673
and you won't ever
see me again.
338
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,511
Jake, are you crying?
No.
339
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,805
Yes.
340
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,727
Diaz, why the
hush-hush meeting?
341
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:08,811
Because in one minute,
342
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,480
you're gonna be showing
me your tramp stamp.
343
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,106
I don't have a tramp
stamp. Prove it.
344
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,191
Show me your
lower back.
345
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,945
Hmm. Seems I didn't know
what a tramp stamp was.
346
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,696
But I'm not gonna
show you anything
347
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:19,948
until you've solved
the case.
348
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,074
Surveillance footage
of McCaffery
349
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,076
entering a pet store
and buying a mouse
350
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,036
an hour before he
found it in his burrito.
351
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,579
He set
the whole thing up.
352
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:29,040
Diaz, you did it.
353
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,500
And now...
354
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,418
My payment.
355
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,963
Okay, O'Sullivan,
there's McCaffery
356
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,256
coming out
of Perdue Pet Supplies
357
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,925
with the mouse that
he put in the burrito.
358
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,426
So there's no need
for tactical gear
359
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,429
or a "Never Forget Burrito"
ribbon or any of that.
360
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,181
You need to call off
the blue flu.
361
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,392
Are you crazy?
My guys are under attack.
362
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,435
No, I just proved that it
wasn't an attack. He faked it.
363
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,271
Not that attack,
this attack,
364
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,731
the one where you call
a policeman a liar.
365
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,650
He is a liar. Oh, dear,
my God. You just did it again.
366
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,735
Do you understand the
worst thing you could do
367
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,989
to another person is to
call that person a liar?
368
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,074
You hate cops.
That's a fact.
369
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,575
I just thought
370
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:07,203
the blue flu was about
a mouse in a burrito.
371
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,039
Well, it was,
but now it's about you saying it wasn't.
372
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,749
That doesn't make any sense.
So you're calling me stupid?
373
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,293
That's not what I said!
You're calling me a liar?
374
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,086
I just don't know how to
talk to someone like you.
375
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,629
Someone like me?
376
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,173
Wow. That's racist.
377
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:23,136
Oh, this is a very
frustrating conversation.
378
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,015
The union can't
be reasoned with.
379
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,599
I need an update.
Prong one?
380
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,351
More broken
than ever.
381
00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,228
Ah, well, I never had
any faith in you anyway.
382
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,063
Santiago,
how's prong two doing?
383
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,148
We're killing it.
384
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,274
According to
the pedometers
385
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,442
I put on the
Hitchcock-and-Scullys,
386
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,526
they're out
walking their beat.
387
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:39,819
And it's all thanks
to these guys.
388
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,154
Hey.
Screw you, Amy.
389
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,864
No, I was
complimenting you.
390
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,283
Well, screw you anyway.
Yeah.
391
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,327
As for prong four,
Jeffords is recording
392
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,495
the officers' secret
meeting as we speak.
393
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:52,165
And I expect he'll be bursting
into my office any minute
394
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,500
with the proof we need
to end the blue flu.
395
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:58,296
I got the proof we need
to end the blue flu.
396
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,922
Wait, really?
Why so surprised?
397
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,466
That was the plan.
Yes.
398
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,967
But earlier,
I was talking to the squad,
399
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,178
and I put a lot of pressure
on this moment,
400
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,346
which I then regretted.
401
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,556
I feared I might be
hoist on my own petard.
402
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,308
No petard hoisting here.
403
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,060
They talked about
everything in front of me,
404
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,269
how they planned
the whole thing,
405
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,854
how long they were gonna
pretend to be sick.
406
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,148
And you recorded it all,
despite your own illness.
407
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,192
I must say,
I'm impressed.
408
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,360
Because of how tough
I am, right?
409
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,611
The toughest.
410
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,906
Okay,
first things first. We got to get...
411
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:27,950
What, what is that?
412
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,494
I had the mic
close to my chest,
413
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:32,205
so I guess it must have
picked up my stomach noises,
414
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,082
but I'm sure
it stops eventually.
415
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,667
More stomach.
416
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:38,544
More stomach.
417
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,297
It's all stomach.
And there it is,
418
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,466
the petard.
419
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,886
I need your help. Our
arrests are still way down.
420
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,179
But according
to the pedometers,
421
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,723
our Hitchcock-and-Scullys are
out there logging miles on the beat.
422
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,642
How are they
not seeing any crimes?
423
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,768
How do you know
they're walking?
424
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,396
I just told you, their pedometer
numbers are through the roof.
425
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,356
Oh, poor, simple Amy.
426
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,400
It's like you've never had to
mess with a medical device
427
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,819
in order to trick your
life insurance agent.
428
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:03,903
Watch and learn.
429
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,073
They're just using
the massage chairs
430
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,157
to jiggle
their pedometers?
431
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,951
Life always finds a way.
432
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,035
To do what?
433
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,203
To do nothing.
434
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,832
Dr. Mintleman's just
working his normal job
435
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,500
and not being a criminal.
436
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,794
I can't believe this is how
I'm spending my final days.
437
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,963
Maybe it doesn't have
to be. Screw this case.
438
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,131
What's something
you've always wanted to do?
439
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,257
Do you have
a bucket list?
440
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:25,716
Well, yeah, but, I mean,
it's only one item.
441
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,260
Great. Whatever it is,
we're doing it.
442
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,178
Live to be 110.
Come on!
443
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,513
I thought
I found a loophole!
444
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,764
Okay,
how about this?
445
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,391
We go on a
cross-country road trip,
446
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,268
me on a motorcycle,
you in my sidecar?
447
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,770
Or we enter
a cooking competition,
448
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,939
and you Ratatouille me from
inside of a giant chef's hat?
449
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,525
I track down
Dianne Wiest,
450
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,402
and you finally try
and use your hall pass?
451
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,029
You're smiling,
so I guess that one's it.
452
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,782
Oof, going with Wiest, huh?
I got to be honest, Boyle,
453
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:50,950
I'm not so sure
you can pull that off.
454
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,160
I mean, her career
is red hot.
455
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,369
She just did a movie
with Streep.
456
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,204
No, Jake. That's not
why I'm smiling.
457
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,623
I'm smiling because
you know me so well.
458
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,667
Yeah, we're best friends.
Of course I know you.
459
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,378
Well, as perfect
as all your ideas were,
460
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,589
nothing tops sitting
here with my best friend.
461
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,175
I mean, why would I want to
go to town on Dianne Wiest
462
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:08,968
when I can go to town
with you?
463
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:10,928
What?
464
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,014
Hang out. Go to town
with each other.
465
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,140
It's a common
friendship phrase.
466
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,641
Haven't heard it.
467
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:16,893
Oh.
468
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,645
Oh, God. It's my
biopsy results.
469
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:20,938
What does it say? I don't
know. I'm too nervous.
470
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,106
I can't read it.
471
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,234
It's not cancer.
Not cancer.
472
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,236
It's an infection,
and it's highly treatable.
473
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,696
I'm not gonna die?
You're not gonna die!
474
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,156
Oh, we got
to celebrate.
475
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,575
Does it say if it's safe to ride
a two-person banana boat?
476
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,869
I don't know. Let me
check. It doesn't say.
477
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:35,953
Oh, well.
478
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,663
And also, I think
just figured out
479
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,832
how all those officers
got their fake diagnoses.
480
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,709
Tell us what's
written there.
481
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,795
"Patient's left teste is gnarled
and shows discoloration."
482
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,339
No, not that.
There, at the top.
483
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,216
"ShareChem Medical
Laboratory." Yeah, so?
484
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,759
So we thought it was
the doctor handing out
485
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,927
fake diagnoses,
but he's clean.
486
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,262
However, the officers knew
he used ShareChem Lab,
487
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,348
and that lab is owned
by David Share,
488
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,267
brother of Nine-Nine
officer Michael Share.
489
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,311
The lab faked
the blood results.
490
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,522
None of the officers
are actually sick,
491
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,357
which means they have
no excuse to miss work.
492
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,608
Well, unfortunately,
that is...
493
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,318
Stop. I know you're gonna
twist my words
494
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,987
into some vicious attack
on you and the NYPD.
495
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:12,073
So, before you do that,
I'd like the pleasure
496
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,491
of making the vicious
attack myself.
497
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,034
Sir, your insults
are kind of known
498
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,036
to be little too think-y,
maybe you should just let...
499
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,914
O'Sullivan,
you are a
500
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,040
And I hope your
501
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,834
Get shoved right
into your .
502
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,379
Wow. Well, that was
definitely not too think-y.
503
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,422
Okay, okay, okay.
You got me.
504
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,466
The men didn't have mono.
They weren't sick.
505
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,968
Damn right.
But they are now.
506
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,636
What? It seems
they had a meeting,
507
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,888
and somebody showed up
with a very bad stomach bug
508
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,056
and gave it
to everyone there.
509
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,308
I believe the officer's name was a,
uh,
510
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,601
Lieutenant Jeffords.
511
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,353
The petard.
512
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,482
It just won't
stop hoisting.
513
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,318
Hey there, sir.
514
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,695
You missed
the morning briefing.
515
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,363
And I see you found
Charles' cheese.
516
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,491
Mmm, it pairs well
with despair
517
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:59,245
and also this 1976
Château Haut-Brion.
518
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,872
Doesn't seem like the kind of
bottle you're supposed to chug.
519
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,457
I bought it the day
I joined the force
520
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,668
with the intent to open it
when I became commissioner.
521
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,211
Oh, my gosh,
this is big news.
522
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,629
Congratulations, sir.
523
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,923
No, he's not becoming
commissioner, Scully.
524
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,092
We can still fight
the blue flu.
525
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,719
It's over, Lieutenant.
526
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,638
I have to cave
to O'Sullivan's demands.
527
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,182
Sir, you can't give up on all your
hard work because of one setback.
528
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,267
I'm a realist.
529
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,353
I knew I wouldn't be able
to fix every problem,
530
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,523
though I always imagined
I could fix some of them.
531
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,067
But as a realist,
I can now see
532
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,611
I haven't fixed
a damn thing.
533
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:34,155
The NYPD will
never change.
534
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,574
Sir, if I may,
when I thought I was dying,
535
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:40,036
all I could think about was what a
disappointment my life had been.
536
00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,371
But then Jake
went to town with me.
537
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,748
Common friendship phrase.
538
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,125
And it helped me realize
you can't focus
539
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,627
on the things
you didn't do.
540
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,420
Focus on
what you did do.
541
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:52,757
And, more importantly,
focus on who you did it with.
542
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,384
Boyle, you're
absolutely right.
543
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,011
I am? My speech turned
your life around?
544
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,180
No, I found it trite
and uninspiring,
545
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,765
but something
you said resonated.
546
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,601
Focus on the things
you didn't do.
547
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,144
I said not to focus on
the things you didn't do.
548
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,395
Again, your speech
meant nothing.
549
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,147
I'm just picking out
individual words.
550
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,231
Sure, sure, yeah.
551
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,192
Hot damn.
552
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,444
I know how to end
the blue flu.
553
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,655
I found a fifth prong.
554
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,115
So I gather you're ready
to cave to my demands.
555
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,408
Why would I do that?
Give me a break.
556
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,785
Your arrests are way down,
557
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,244
and your CompStat numbers
are terrible.
558
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,412
I think those numbers
look great.
559
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,915
No, you don't. Well,
not those numbers.
560
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,417
Obviously, they make it look like
we haven't done much at all this week.
561
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,419
But a friend of mine
told me something
562
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,754
unintentionally
interesting,
563
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,047
focus on what
you didn't do.
564
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,633
So here's what
we didn't do this week.
565
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,010
With fewer officers
at our disposal
566
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,429
and none of them trying
to hit CompStat numbers,
567
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,515
we made fewer bad arrests.
568
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:45,601
Number of complaints against officers,
down 32%.
569
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,812
Number of cases
thrown out at arraignment
570
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,980
for insufficient evidence,
down 34%.
571
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,108
And here's the most
important thing we didn't do.
572
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,819
We didn't make
the community less safe.
573
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,696
Rates of major
and violent crime,
574
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,322
what actually matters,
stayed the same.
575
00:19:58,572 --> 00:19:59,699
What are you saying?
576
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:02,159
I'm saying the Nine-Nine
just became a case study
577
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,452
for how a police force
578
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,830
can work better
with fewer police.
579
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,373
Are you actually talking
about laying off cops?
580
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,709
If these numbers persist,
I may have no choice.
581
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,919
Then I'll just end the blue
flu. Great. That's what I want.
582
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,921
Then I won't end the blue
flu. Great. Fewer cops.
583
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,923
That's what I want.
You just said that...
584
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,595
This is a very frustrating
conversation.
585
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,097
I'd like
to officially announce
586
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,890
that the blue flu
is over.
587
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,892
The uniformed officers
are at work,
588
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,561
and we sent
the Hitchcock-and-Scullys
589
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,645
back to their
home precincts.
590
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,147
So everything's
back to normal?
591
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,314
No, the opposite.
592
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,899
We're gonna use what
we learned this week
593
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,527
to change the way the
NYPD polices our streets.
594
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,112
Okay, awesome.
Very inspiring.
595
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,697
Now, onto
more important things.
596
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,533
I have obtained from
Rosa a photograph...
597
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,453
...of Captain
Holt's tattoo.
598
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:46,912
Bup-bup-bup!
599
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,706
I'm sorry, Captain,
but there's nothing you can do
600
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,166
that will stop me
from revealing
601
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,502
that your secret and
embarrassing tattoo is...
602
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,380
A dot?
Huh?
603
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,175
It's a decimal point.
604
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,719
Ah, what a first-thought
mathematical symbol.
605
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:02,887
Might as well
have gotten
606
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,014
a greater-than
or equal-to sign.
607
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,141
I can't believe I spent
$2,000 on a dot.
608
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,059
You did?
I know, Amy!
609
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,228
We're both upset
about the same thing!
610
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,688
I got to call Rosa.
611
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,487
Thank you for giving Peralta
the doctored photo.
612
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,197
My allegiances are
to the highest bidder.
613
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,531
And you'll never
tell anyone what you saw?
614
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,699
They wouldn't
believe me if I did.
615
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,868
I mean, come on, sir.
It's a picture of...