1
00:00:01,736 --> 00:00:03,402
- Hey, Jakey, the
place on the corner
2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:05,337
is serving lemonade, and
you get to keep the jar.
3
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,538
It's pretty cool.
4
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,508
- Yes, that's very cool, Scully.
5
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,509
- Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,610
- Will you excuse me
just one moment?
7
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,145
- Oh, sure.
8
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,147
- Guys, guys, guys!
9
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:17,282
Scully has a mason jar
full of lemonade.
10
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,268
- You called us in here
to tell us that?
11
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,253
- No, I called you in here
to change your lives!
12
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,155
For, you see, a
mere five minutes ago,
13
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,156
Hitchcock introduced me
14
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,391
to his new goldfish,
who lives in...
15
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:26,392
- [gasps]
16
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:27,426
An identical
mason jar!
17
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,395
- Oh, this isn't
gonna end well.
18
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:31,030
- There are
two possible outcomes,
19
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:32,598
and we're going to bet on
which one happens first.
20
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,166
So, will Hitchcock
put fish food
21
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,167
in Scully's lemonade,
22
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,169
or will Scully drink
Hitchcock's goldfish?
23
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,203
Now, you would think that
24
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,505
putting fish food
into lemonade--
25
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,140
- Hitchcock just drank
his own fish.
26
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,141
- What?
27
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,511
Nooo!
28
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:48,514
[upbeat music]
29
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:56,555
♪ ♪
30
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,499
♪ ♪
31
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,334
- Ames, you're
two minutes late.
32
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,536
I called
all the emergency rooms.
33
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:11,603
- I know.
34
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,272
I went home from your place
to shower,
35
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,473
and I'm so tired
that I fell asleep
36
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,607
while shaving my legs.
37
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,675
- But we went to bed so early.
38
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,444
"Property Brothers"
was over at 10:00.
39
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,412
I mean...sex.
40
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,580
We do it.
41
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,215
She's tired
from all the doing it.
42
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:24,683
- Who are you talking to?
- Precinct.
43
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:25,684
- Come on, man.
- Yeah.
44
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,319
- No, I was up all night
45
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:29,488
because your dumb, lumpy
mattress is so uncomfortable.
46
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,090
- What?
But I gave you the good lump.
47
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,224
- Ugh, please stop talking
48
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,226
till I finish eating my coffee.
49
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:37,096
- [with British accent]
Ooh, a lover's quarrel.
50
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,397
- No, I'm just tired.
51
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,498
- I didn't ask
for part two.
52
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,666
- Never fear, Amy,
53
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,668
for I have the solution
to all of your problems:
54
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,603
highly potent liquid speed.
55
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,205
- Oh, you gonna
love that stuff.
56
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,506
- Devon, we're cops.
Read the room.
57
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,109
But I know you'll be excited,
because I busted Devon here
58
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,444
with four vials of this,
which is a new drug called...
59
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,113
- Taxi!
You actually found some?
60
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,114
- Yup.
Your CI was right.
61
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,315
It's popping up
on the corners.
62
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:57,649
- Man, my snitches
are the best.
63
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,219
The key is to always send them
handwritten thank-you notes.
64
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,553
- Oh. So what do you say?
65
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,289
Shall we take this partnership
from the sheets to the streets?
66
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,391
- Ooh, our first case
as a couple.
67
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,127
- Why not?
- Hey, guys.
68
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:09,661
I just discovered
a new drug too.
69
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,697
It's called "your relationship,"
and I'm high on it.
70
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,665
- Charles, I'm gonna need you
to back off, man.
71
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,134
- Roger that.
- Yeah.
72
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,302
- All right.
I'll take one.
73
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,304
Now, go sell your candy
to everyone else, stupid.
74
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,473
- Hey, hey, hey.
You can't call a kid stupid.
75
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,674
What if he's really stupid?
76
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,343
- Terry, this is Sam,
my little brother
77
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,377
from Brooklyn's Big Brothers.
78
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,379
- I think it's funny
when she calls me stupid.
79
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,481
- No one cares, stupid.
- Screw you, Rosa.
80
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,650
- Sam's selling candy to pay
for his basketball uniforms.
81
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,752
He's a forward.
I taught him how to elbow.
82
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,287
- Cool?
83
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,156
- Now, go home
and do all your homework,
84
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,423
or I will end you.
85
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,691
- Don't let Rosa fool you.
86
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:40,759
She's not that scary.
87
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,361
She used to do ballet.
88
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,428
- No way.
89
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,696
- Which gave me
the physical skills I need
90
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,697
to strangle you with my feet.
91
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,332
Now scram.
92
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,402
[sighs]
93
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,204
I love being a mentor.
94
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,707
- It's called "taxi"
because it's yellow,
95
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,776
and it takes you
where you need to be.
96
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,678
- Drug dealers have gotten
so creative.
97
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,780
It used to just be "crack,"
and then they'd be like,
98
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,782
"Hey, we got a new one.
What are we gonna call this?"
99
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,450
And they'd go,
"I don't know, crank?"
100
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,286
- This is certainly worth
following up on.
101
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,754
Santiago, take Boyle,
and work the case.
102
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,657
- Oh, but Jake--
I mean, Detective Peralta
103
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,325
brought in the perp, so--
104
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,393
- Good point.
105
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,661
Peralta and Boyle
can work the case.
106
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,596
- Actually, sir, I think
we were kind of hoping
107
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:18,764
we could work
the case together.
108
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,599
- Oh, are you two
no longer...
109
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,367
- Smooshing booties?
110
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,502
- Yes, that's exactly
111
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:24,770
how I was gonna
finish my sentence.
112
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,371
- Figured.
- We are still dating.
113
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,472
It's all above board.
114
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,124
HR gets daily updates
115
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,775
and are BCC'd on
all our emails to each other.
116
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,744
- That's why HR Jim
keeps high-fiving me.
117
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:36,582
- As a rule, I don't put couples
in the field together,
118
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,517
but you are two
of my best detectives,
119
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,352
so I will allow it.
120
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,620
Just don't let
any personal issues
121
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,688
distract you from your work.
122
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:43,755
- You have nothing
to worry about.
123
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,357
There's no personal issues here.
124
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,725
We've never even had a fight.
- It's true.
125
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,227
Our only close call
126
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:49,695
was when Jake didn't know
who Will Shortz was.
127
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,796
- Really?
128
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,533
Never heard of the Puzzlemaster?
129
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,603
This is who
you want to be with?
130
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,339
I shouldn't get involved.
131
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,573
Good luck with the case.
132
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,508
- Thank you.
133
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,777
♪ ♪
134
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:08,280
- Whoa, what's up with you,
Furiosa?
135
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,381
- I'm in a huff,
that's what,
136
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,350
because of what just happened
in the garage.
137
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:15,854
♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪
138
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,656
What?
Nuh-uh.
139
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:20,659
How am I supposed to--
come on!
140
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,595
Some clown clown-parked
his clown car
141
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,398
in Captain Holt's spot
and halfway into mine.
142
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,399
What a clown!
143
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,300
- Sporty?
- Mm-hmm.
144
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,269
- Convertible?
- Yeah, that's the one.
145
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:32,304
Oh, I hate people
who drive sports cars.
146
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,806
You're not Gloria Estefan,
and this isn't Miami.
147
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,541
- Charles.
- Hey, Captain.
148
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:37,809
Get ready to join me
in the huff zone.
149
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,345
- No.
- Some creep had the gall--
150
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,281
- I saw you drove Gertie
to work this morning,
151
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,682
huh, Captain?
- Oh, yes.
152
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,684
Kevin and I finally brought her
up from the country.
153
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,885
Gertie is our convertible.
154
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,320
I think you'd like her.
155
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,788
She's a real peppy broad.
156
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,657
- Oh, I didn't realize
that was your car.
157
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:52,791
- My car?
158
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,493
Oh, "Raymond Holt"
may be on the title,
159
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,795
but no man can own her spirit.
160
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,697
Anyway, I'm sorry, Bole.
I interrupted you.
161
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,366
You were saying something
about some creep.
162
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:04,469
- Just some strangler
that I was--arrested.
163
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,505
I was talking about some
strangler that I arrested.
164
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,373
- Well, good job.
Put the paperwork on my desk.
165
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,841
- Thank you.
166
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:10,676
Great.
167
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:13,445
Now I have to go
find a strangler.
168
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,848
- Hey.
- Hey.
169
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:17,916
So I marked all the corners
170
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,584
where taxi has been
spotted on this map.
171
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:20,852
You'll probably notice
right away
172
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,421
that it makes
the shape of a boob.
173
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,488
- This looks great.
174
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,723
Confirms Devon's story.
175
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,591
He says his dealer
hangs out here,
176
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:27,693
in the underboob.
177
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:28,894
He said he'll
point him out to us.
178
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,595
So you approach on foot
from the south,
179
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,497
and me and Devon
will be in an unmarked car here.
180
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,733
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
181
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,401
"Me and Devon"?
182
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,503
Didn't you mean
"Devon and I"?
183
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,838
- Oh, God.
- I corrected your grammar!
184
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,839
[gasps]
185
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:41,840
Are you so proud of me?
186
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:42,841
Are you horrified?
187
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:43,875
Are you super horny?
188
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,744
- I'm just really tired.
Leave me alone.
189
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,346
- Don't you mean
leave "I" alone?
190
00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:48,447
No, that one felt wrong.
191
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,748
I guess we're equally
bad at grammar.
192
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,416
- I'm not bad at grammar.
193
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,685
I'm exhausted because you refuse
to get a new mattress!
194
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,822
- All right, why don't you
just get a new back?
195
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:57,856
I didn't mean that.
196
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,358
We're not fighting.
197
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:00,826
We can totally work together.
We're fine.
198
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,861
- Yeah, that wasn't a fight.
199
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,397
That was just sexy
workplace banter.
200
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:06,398
- Exactly.
201
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,632
I mean, mattresses
are also sexy
202
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:08,517
'cause that's where you do it.
203
00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:09,401
- Yeah.
204
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:10,969
And grammar is
a system of language
205
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,438
involving syntax
and semantics.
206
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,540
Also sexy.
207
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,576
- Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
208
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,777
Point is, we're good.
- Yeah.
209
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:22,848
- All right.
You're almost to the corner.
210
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,516
You sure you're not
gonna be spotted?
211
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,517
- Absolutely.
212
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,486
My cover makes me invisible.
213
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,754
Excuse me, ma'am.
214
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,756
Do you have two minutes
to talk about the environment?
215
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,790
Nailed it.
216
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,759
Now no one will make eye contact
with me.
217
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:34,726
- I think it's cute.
218
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,795
You're like an idealistic
grad student.
219
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:37,929
- Ah, you like that?
220
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,698
You want me to tell you
about the time
221
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,466
that I backpacked
through the Netherlands?
222
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:43,702
- Ooh, did you fold all
your stuff up really small
223
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:44,936
to fit into one carry-on?
224
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:47,639
- Is that what you want me
to have done?
225
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,508
- Hey, there's my dealer.
226
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,943
- Jake, grey jacket. 6:00.
227
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,578
- Excuse me, sir.
228
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,414
Do you have two minutes
to talk about the environment?
229
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:56,047
NYPD! Freeze!
230
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,482
We got a rabbit!
231
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,650
- He's headed for the building.
232
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:00,786
- I'll just stay here.
233
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,789
[lively music]
234
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,426
♪ ♪
235
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,561
- All right; let's split up
and meet around back.
236
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:14,633
♪ ♪
237
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:15,967
- NYPD! Freeze!
238
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,803
Jake, he's coming your way!
239
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:21,606
♪ ♪
240
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,842
- Ooh!
- Ugh!
241
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,710
- Nice takedown.
- Thanks.
242
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,446
- Oh, my God.
- What?
243
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,548
- Nothing, nothing.
Let's just take this guy in.
244
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,582
- No. What is it?
245
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,684
- It's just...this mattress
246
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,453
looks just like
your mattress at home.
247
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:35,720
- What?
No, it doesn't.
248
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,856
I mean, sure, there are
a couple of similarities, but...
249
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:38,857
oh, man.
250
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:39,858
It's the exact same one.
251
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,827
Ugh!
I have a dumpster mattress!
252
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:42,928
All right. That settles it.
253
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,463
We're going mattress shopping.
254
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:45,464
- Seriously?
255
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,598
Oh, this is the best.
256
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,966
I'm so proud of you.
257
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,601
You know, once we get it,
258
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,769
we'll have to break it in.
259
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,737
- Oh, I hear what you're saying:
260
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,005
mattress trampoline.
261
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,640
Wait, no.
You were talking about sex.
262
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,075
- Yeah.
- Then mattress trampoline.
263
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,910
- Sure.
- Okay.
264
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,781
- Diaz, your friend
Sam is here.
265
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:03,949
- Nice.
266
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,884
That little dum-dum
finished his homework early.
267
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:06,918
Where is he?
268
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,587
- Before I answer,
269
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,590
maybe we could brew a pot
of nice, relaxing kava tea,
270
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:12,691
and then--
- Spit it out.
271
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,593
- Sam was brought in
for shoplifting a phone.
272
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,563
I also have chamomile!
273
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:19,831
That might calm us down.
274
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,567
- Oh, if you want calm,
there's some ludes in evidence,
275
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:23,969
if anybody would ever
let me get them out.
276
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:24,970
- Hey!
277
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,571
What were you thinking?
278
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:27,205
- I made a mistake!
279
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,773
The phones were
just lying there,
280
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,041
and I didn't
think things through.
281
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,676
I'm sorry, Rosa.
282
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,645
- Rosa is your friend
from before you were a criminal.
283
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,046
You are dealing
with Detective Diaz now,
284
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,648
and she is gonna make sure
you rot in juvie
285
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,799
for the rest of your life.
286
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:38,949
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
287
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,519
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
288
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,558
It feels like you're being
a little harsh.
289
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,726
- Thanks. Good note.
290
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:50,829
I was going for extremely harsh.
I'll turn it up.
291
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:51,662
- Diaz, he's just a kid.
292
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,064
Can't you just let him off
with a warning?
293
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,100
Sometimes,
being as tough as possible
294
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,801
doesn't lead
to the best outcome.
295
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:59,638
- This isn't Cagney
calling Lacey a poopy-head.
296
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,840
I'm not just gonna
give him a time-out.
297
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:02,874
- Time-out?
298
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,075
Are you kidding?
299
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:07,779
"Poopy-head" means
no "Doc McStuffins" for a week!
300
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,814
Terry hates bathroom talk.
301
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,616
- Gina.
302
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,685
Gina.
303
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,120
Gina, I screwed up, big time.
304
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:18,557
- Charles, given your
daily life experiences,
305
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,559
you're gonna have to
be more specific.
306
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,693
- Gertie!
307
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:22,994
♪ ♪
308
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,563
[scraping]
309
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,964
Gertie!
310
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,132
There's only one option for me:
311
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,800
burn my face off with acid
and disappear forever.
312
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:31,102
- Yes, you should do that,
313
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,805
or you could just
tell him what happened.
314
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,607
I mean, he parked in two spots.
315
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:36,775
It's kind of his fault.
316
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,009
Just have some B-bone, Boyle.
317
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,844
- You know
that's my smallest bone.
318
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:41,179
- Come on. It's just a car.
319
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,814
He's not gonna be that mad.
320
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,883
- Son of a bitch!
321
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,818
- Okay. I misjudged that one.
322
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,587
- Oh, what did
he do to you, Gertie?
323
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,621
What did he do?
324
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:50,922
- It was an accident, sir.
325
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,592
- Yes, an accident:
the buffoon's apology.
326
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:54,926
This is your fault, mister.
327
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,028
- Interesting.
Charles?
328
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,630
Do you feel that's the case?
329
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:01,967
- Um, your car
is pretty far over the line.
330
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:02,801
- Mm.
331
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,737
- So it's kind of
your fault too.
332
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,072
- Pass the blame.
333
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,907
The buffoonery is endless.
334
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,775
You're gonna pay
for what you've done.
335
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,811
And it won't be cheap.
336
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,680
They'll have to custom-mix
the color
337
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:20,185
because they no longer make
raspberry sherbet.
338
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,153
- [sighs]
339
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,722
They're all so beautiful.
340
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,724
- And they're all
about to be tested...
341
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,025
bouncy-styles.
342
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,159
[Lil Jon's "Get Low" playing]
343
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,160
- ♪ Three, six, nine ♪
344
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,762
♪ Damn, she fine ♪
345
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,864
♪ Hoping she can sock it to me
one more time ♪
346
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,449
♪ Get low, get low,
get low, get low ♪
347
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:36,033
- ♪ To the window ♪
348
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,168
- ♪ To the window ♪
349
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,970
- ♪ To the wall ♪
350
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,639
- I love this mattress.
351
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,774
- And it loves
having you in it.
352
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:43,775
- God?
353
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,644
- It's Brian.
- Oh.
354
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,746
- And I'm obsessed with
giving you a good night's sleep.
355
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:48,780
- Hello, Brian.
356
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,715
Coming on a little
strong there, buddy...
357
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:51,349
and I'm digging it.
358
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,717
How much to take
this bad boy home?
359
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,120
- Actually, that's one of our
more reasonable models.
360
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,921
- Oh. Holy Moses!
361
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,923
That is much too much money.
362
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,258
- Well, you spent twice that
363
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,160
for Mr. Met to come
to your birthday party.
364
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,895
- Yeah, and it was worth it.
365
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,797
Mr. Met used my bathroom.
Number two.
366
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,999
That's a memory
I will cherish forever.
367
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,235
- Look, mattresses
are expensive,
368
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,202
but they're an investment.
369
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,238
It's gonna be in your life
for a long time.
370
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,174
- True, but it's also
still just a mattress, you know?
371
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,976
It's a lot of money
to spend on a rectangle
372
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,811
that's filled with springs
and goose hair.
373
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,112
- You know it's feathers.
- I didn't.
374
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,981
- And it would be
money well spent,
375
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,250
because it would allow me
to actually sleep in your bed.
376
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,785
- But I already have
a mattress.
377
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:27,986
It just doesn't seem worth it.
378
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,988
- Okay, well, to me,
379
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,057
it sounds like you're saying
I'm not worth it.
380
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,726
So I'm gonna go sleep
in my grown-up mattress
381
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:35,860
that I bought this century,
382
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,095
and you're not invited.
383
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,966
- You know, she's right about
mattresses being an investment.
384
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:42,967
- Back off, Brian.
385
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,372
♪ ♪
386
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,406
- Morning.
387
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,109
You look well-rested.
388
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:54,179
- Yes, because I slept
in my own bed.
389
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,313
- I was tossing
and turning.
390
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,481
Jake told me
about your fight,
391
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,249
and I'm so worried
about you two.
392
00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,250
- Thank you, Charles.
393
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,251
- What do I have to do,
394
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,252
buy the mattress myself?
395
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,253
Done.
396
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,254
- Problem solved.
- No.
397
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,322
- It would make him
so happy.
398
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,924
- Good job on the bust
yesterday.
399
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:07,926
How was it, working together
as a couple?
400
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:08,993
- So good.
- So great.
401
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,195
- Yeah.
- Super mellow and chill.
402
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,262
- Yeah.
403
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,597
- She slapped my butt once.
- Mm-hmm.
404
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:13,931
- We're definitely
falling in love.
405
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,266
- All right.
- Good, good, good.
406
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,335
We found something strange
on the dealer you brought in:
407
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,070
two matchbooks
from the same hotel.
408
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,039
He's refusing to give up
his supplier,
409
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,474
but this could be something.
410
00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:24,075
- That's weird.
Look at this.
411
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,277
The same two matches
are missing from both books:
412
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,379
third one on the bottom row,
and fifth one from the top.
413
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:29,948
- Coincidence?
- No way.
414
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,516
No one would
take matches out like that.
415
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,418
Trust me; I smoked
four cigarettes in college.
416
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,419
One to completion.
417
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,987
That's a code.
418
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:36,988
- A code?
419
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,123
Exciting.
420
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,058
I'll go get my pencil case.
421
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,192
- I bet it's a room number.
422
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,360
Third floor, fifth room.
423
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,394
Room 305.
424
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,130
- That's definitely it.
- Well, great.
425
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,131
Great, great.
426
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,967
Santiago has solved it.
427
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,301
I want you two
to go undercover
428
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,103
as a couple
to stake out the room.
429
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,271
You should be
very convincing,
430
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,372
given that you're currently--
431
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,974
what was it?
432
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,108
"Smooshing booties."
433
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,444
- Great, and thank you
for saying it that way.
434
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,346
It made us both
feel very comfortable.
435
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,281
- Sure did.
436
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,183
♪ ♪
437
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,085
- Hey, I've been
looking for you.
438
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,120
Before you decide
what to do with Sam,
439
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,289
there's someone I think
you should talk to.
440
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,260
- Ms. Miriam.
441
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,494
- Surprise!
442
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,530
I tracked down
your old ballet coach.
443
00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:21,266
I brought her in
to remind you of the effect
444
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:25,270
a kind, nurturing presence
can have on a young life.
445
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,571
- Hello, dear.
446
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,173
Have you continued to dance?
447
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,407
- No, Ms. Miriam.
448
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,009
- Well, there's
no surprise in that.
449
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,310
You always were a lazy ox.
450
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,412
- What's this now?
- Look at your posture.
451
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,415
You look as if you should be
ringing the bells at Notre Dame.
452
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,818
- Ms. Miriam was not
nurturing at all.
453
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,152
- All right, ox.
454
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,287
Let's see what you've got.
455
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,290
Five, six, seven, eight.
456
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:47,125
Eyes up.
457
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,194
Shoulders down.
458
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,029
Well, that wasn't terrible.
459
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,030
- See, Sarge?
460
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,298
Tough love works.
461
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,299
- Damn it!
462
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,434
Terry proved the wrong point.
463
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,304
- Aw, Chuckles.
464
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,539
You're looking even more
broken than usual.
465
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,174
- Yeah, I should have never
466
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,410
have tried to stand up
to Captain Holt.
467
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,212
Why didn't I just beg for mercy?
468
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,546
It's my signature move:
469
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,148
"The Charles."
470
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,550
- No, you are actually
in the right in this sitch.
471
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,452
The captain
is being irrational.
472
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:17,322
But he's about to learn
himself a lesson.
473
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,457
Right about...
474
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:24,329
Nah...
475
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,330
- Oh, my!
476
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,331
- Ow.
477
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,432
Timed it perfectly.
478
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,334
- What?
479
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,437
- What did you do
to my cupcake?
480
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,605
- This is yours?
481
00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:36,140
Why on Earth is your cupcake
on my chair?
482
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,408
- Because it's very
special to me,
483
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,611
so I can put it
wherever I want.
484
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:41,346
This is your fault.
485
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,214
Now you have to buy me
a new cupcake.
486
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,215
- This is outrageous.
487
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,184
You expect me to avoid--
488
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,219
oh, I see.
489
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,221
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you do.
490
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,223
The cupcake was Gertie.
- Yes.
491
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,259
- Your butt was Charles's car.
- Yes.
492
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,493
- The chair
was the parking space.
493
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:56,527
- Yes, I get it.
494
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,562
- Your office was the garage.
495
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,631
- Yes, I'm telling you
I understand the lesson.
496
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:03,501
- And I was the brilliant
Gina Linetti in both scenarios.
497
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,136
- All right.
We're done here.
498
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,271
- 'Kay.
499
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,507
- You're a great captain.
500
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,144
- Jake, why don't you
just sit down?
501
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,212
- No, thank you.
502
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,480
I can see the feed better
from here.
503
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,348
- It's really comfortable.
504
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,550
- All right.
I'll sit.
505
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,287
[sighs]
506
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,122
Nope, my butt
hates expensive things.
507
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,123
- No.
508
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,257
You know what your butt hates?
509
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,293
Making any sort of
sacrifice for us,
510
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,428
because it's not serious
about this relationship.
511
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,664
- Okay, first of all,
my butt is so serious
512
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:34,299
it should be wearing
spectacles.
513
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,533
And second, your butt
is the butt
514
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,435
that is not serious
about this relationship.
515
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,436
- [scoffs]
516
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,438
My butt is totally serious.
517
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,206
I've made all kinds of changes.
518
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,142
I bought orange soda for you.
519
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,276
- Okay!
520
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,544
For the last time,
521
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,580
Orangina is not orange soda.
522
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,549
- Yeah, because it's better.
523
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,952
- Uh, okay, now you're
just being crazy.
524
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,220
- Ugh, you're not even taking
this argument seriously.
525
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,388
- All right.
You want to get serious?
526
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,691
How come you haven't told
your mom that we're dating?
527
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,259
Yeah, that's right.
528
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:02,694
I saw the text she sent you
about setting you up
529
00:16:02,696 --> 00:16:03,695
with some dude named Gary.
530
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:05,163
- You read my texts?
531
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,531
- It buzzed when you were
in the bathroom.
532
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,499
Who doesn't bring their phone
with them into the bathroom?
533
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,201
That's, like, the whole reason
to go in there.
534
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,236
- I haven't told her because
I haven't had the chance.
535
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,271
- What?
536
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,306
You talk to her, like,
every week.
537
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,340
You basically stalk her.
538
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:16,507
Why don't you just admit
539
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,142
that you don't want
to tell her about me?
540
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,445
- Jake, it's not about you.
541
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,214
Look; the minute I tell her
that I'm dating someone,
542
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,649
she's gonna call me
all the time
543
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,185
and ask me a million
annoying questions.
544
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,454
- Wow, it sounds like
such a huge drag.
545
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,456
I guess I'm just not
"worth it."
546
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,857
Boom--used the thing
you said to me
547
00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:34,257
in a different argument
in this argument.
548
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:35,259
I win the argument.
549
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,728
- Oh, no, no, no.
This is bad.
550
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,463
- Well, you started it...
or I did.
551
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,264
I can't remember at this point.
- No, Jake.
552
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:41,599
Look at the screen.
553
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,468
- Oh, no.
554
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:47,605
For the last time,
Orangina is not orange soda.
555
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,440
- Yeah, because it's better.
556
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,510
- Uh, okay, now you're just
being crazy.
557
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,612
- You're not even
taking this--
558
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,481
- You do have to admit,
it was a pretty good point
559
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:57,749
about Orangina, though.
560
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:05,323
♪ ♪
561
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,624
- Your turn, Peralta.
562
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,526
- Thank you, Santiago.
563
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,629
Okay.
564
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:15,400
I know you're mad,
but before you say anything,
565
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:16,768
yes, we screwed up.
566
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:18,536
And yes, you warned us.
567
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,772
And yes, I don't know
where I'm going with this.
568
00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:22,607
But I do know this:
569
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:24,642
I have reached
the end of my sentence.
570
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:27,612
Oh, my God. Did that work?
571
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,180
- Not at all.
- Oh.
572
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:31,682
I can't believe
you let a personal argument
573
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,584
derail your investigation.
574
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,186
- I would characterize it more
575
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,188
as a professional
police disagreement.
576
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,556
- I listened to the tape.
- Oh, no.
577
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,558
Yeah, well, then you know
that it was a straight-up
578
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,726
crazy bitch fight.
579
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,795
Look; I know we screwed up
the case, and I'm sorry.
580
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:45,396
But if it's any consolation,
581
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,732
I think we also screwed up
our relationship.
582
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,333
- Peralta, have a seat.
583
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:51,302
I believe this might help.
584
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,271
When Kevin and I
first started dating,
585
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,239
he taught at a small
college upstate.
586
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,475
It was two hours away
by train or bus,
587
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,410
but only 30 minutes by car.
588
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,745
- Is this another one
of your riddles?
589
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,547
You rode to work
on his shoulders.
590
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,482
One set of footprints. No?
591
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,817
- No.
- Okay.
592
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,418
- Neither of us owned a car,
593
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,353
and I didn't want to buy one
because that would mean
594
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:10,755
admitting that
I cared for Kevin.
595
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,357
He had the same fear,
and so visits were rare,
596
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,525
and I was miserable.
597
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,328
Then one spring day,
Kevin showed up at my door
598
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,297
having purchased Gertie.
599
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:22,333
He took the leap,
and I'm so grateful that he did.
600
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:25,536
I only regret that I didn't
do it first.
601
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,305
Do you understand?
602
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,340
- Absolutely.
603
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,441
100%.
604
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,509
- The train is your
old mattress.
605
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:32,643
- Yeah.
- The car is your new mattress.
606
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:33,644
- I got it.
- Kevin is you.
607
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:34,779
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm Santiago.
608
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,714
- Loud and clear.
100%.
609
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,383
[clangs]
610
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:40,451
- So I took care of Sam.
611
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,452
- Uh-oh.
612
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,320
That sounds ominous,
613
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,755
like you went
all Ms. Miriam on him.
614
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,290
- I let him off with a warning.
615
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,458
See, thing about Ms. Miriam
616
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,494
is she made me a good dancer,
617
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,863
but she ruined
my childhood.
618
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:54,432
She was constantly riding me
about my posture
619
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,267
and my technique
and my pink hair.
620
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,468
- Pink hair.
- Never speak of that.
621
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,636
- Copy.
622
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,538
- She's the reason
I quit ballet,
623
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,706
and I sure as hell
don't want Sam
624
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,442
to quit the Big Brother program
'cause of me.
625
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,444
- This is totally
626
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:10,414
how I thought this Ms. Miriam
thing was gonna go.
627
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,284
Another flawless Terry plan.
628
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,685
- Boyle, I thought
you should know.
629
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,554
I just got Gertie back
from the garage.
630
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,422
She looks as good as new.
631
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:19,790
Better, even,
because after 12 years,
632
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,592
they finally got
the Annie Lennox cassette
633
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,593
out of the tape player.
634
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,895
- Oh, I love her.
635
00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:25,630
Here's a check
for the full amount.
636
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,433
- You don't owe me anything.
637
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,903
It was my fault,
and I behaved poorly,
638
00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:34,539
as Gina made abundantly clear.
639
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:35,806
- Oh, speaking of,
640
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,709
you still owe me $14
for that cupcake.
641
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,444
- Hey.
- Hey.
642
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:41,579
- What's up?
643
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,580
- Two things.
644
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:43,848
I ran the footage
from the hotel
645
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,350
through facial recognition
software and got a match:
646
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,785
Grady Lamont.
647
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,687
This is his current address.
648
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,688
- That's good, I guess.
649
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,889
- Yeah, it's six years old.
650
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,925
- Well, druggies are lazy?
651
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:55,359
- He deals in uppers.
652
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,460
- We're screwed.
- Yup.
653
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,429
- What's the second thing?
654
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,897
- Well, the Captain and I
were jamming
655
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,600
on some personal issues,
just going back and forth.
656
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:05,336
I honestly think I helped him
more than he helped me.
657
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,837
- I'm not buying any of that.
- No.
658
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,374
[sighs]
659
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,476
Amy Santiago...
660
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:13,911
I want to change mattresses
for you.
661
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,481
- That's the best thing
I've ever heard.
662
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,350
- I'm sorry I didn't
do it sooner.
663
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:22,353
I think I was just scared
that you were gonna realize
664
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,688
you're way better than me.
665
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:27,358
Like, you're Orangina,
and I'm orange soda.
666
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,492
- Are you kidding?
667
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:29,660
You're Orangina.
668
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,661
- Ugh.
669
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,762
Don't say that.
670
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,598
- Look.
671
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,633
I was scared too.
672
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:36,834
I'm gonna call my mom tonight.
673
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,505
- Okay.
674
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,507
Let's buy this baby.
675
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,643
Calling up the website,
676
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,511
finding the mattress,
677
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:48,980
adding to cart,
678
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:50,648
signing in as "guest"...
679
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,483
That is not an option.
680
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,784
Creating an account...
681
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,620
- You don't have to buy it
right this second.
682
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,388
- Nope, this is a big
romantic gesture,
683
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,589
and I'm nailing it.
684
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,392
Shipping address--
not the same as billing address.
685
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,793
Got to enter both of those.
686
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:04,695
- Jake, Jake, look!
There's our guy.
687
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:05,930
- Oh, perfect timing.
688
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:06,998
Submit order.
689
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,499
Province? Oh, no.
690
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:09,600
We're on the Canadian website.
691
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,701
Click on the American flag.
692
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:11,736
- Jake!
- Yeah.
693
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:12,770
We'll do this later.
Let's go!
694
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,472
- Not a doctor. Shh!
695
00:21:14,772 --> 00:21:15,472
Fixed & Synced by MoUsTaFa ZaKi