1
00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:11,185
Oh, my God!
2
00:00:11,186 --> 00:00:13,344
Rosa's wearing pink!
Rosa's wearing pink!
3
00:00:13,345 --> 00:00:17,122
***
4
00:00:17,123 --> 00:00:19,287
Maybe it wasn't her.
If he had a twin sister...
5
00:00:19,288 --> 00:00:20,956
If Rosa had a twin,
6
00:00:20,957 --> 00:00:22,724
she would have eaten her
in the womb.
7
00:00:22,725 --> 00:00:24,292
Wait. Hold it. Stop.
8
00:00:24,293 --> 00:00:25,861
How come none of you
teased her about it?
9
00:00:25,862 --> 00:00:27,562
It's Rosa.
She's scary.
10
00:00:27,597 --> 00:00:29,264
You guys are unbelievable.
11
00:00:29,265 --> 00:00:31,299
I once wore a tie
with a splash of purple.
12
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,368
You guys called me Mr. Grapes
for two years.
13
00:00:33,369 --> 00:00:35,537
Oh, Mr. Grapes.
14
00:00:35,538 --> 00:00:37,239
I forgot about Mr. Grapes.
15
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,741
If I wore a pink shirt,
you'd tear me to shreds.
16
00:00:39,742 --> 00:00:42,511
Well, yeah, but you'd look like
a My Little Pony with a gun.
17
00:00:42,545 --> 00:00:43,745
Let me guess.
18
00:00:43,779 --> 00:00:45,614
Your theater club
is putting on Grease,
19
00:00:45,615 --> 00:00:47,082
and you're playing
a pink lady.
20
00:00:48,551 --> 00:00:49,751
What are you guys
laughing at?
21
00:00:49,752 --> 00:00:51,253
If Boyle was wearing
a pink shirt.
22
00:00:51,254 --> 00:00:52,754
I get it.
That's hilarious.
23
00:00:52,755 --> 00:00:53,755
What's happening?
24
00:00:53,756 --> 00:00:55,524
Rosa is the one wearing pink.
25
00:00:56,592 --> 00:00:58,026
And?
26
00:00:58,027 --> 00:00:59,227
It's gorgeous.
27
00:00:59,228 --> 00:01:00,595
I wish I could pull that off
28
00:01:00,596 --> 00:01:01,930
Dream on,
Strawberry Shortcake.
29
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,932
Yeah, nice try, Mr. Grapes.
30
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,801
Mr. Grapes.
31
00:01:06,802 --> 00:01:08,770
Mr. Grapes!
32
00:01:08,771 --> 00:01:12,566
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
Resync by GoldenBeard
www.addic7ed.com/
33
00:01:28,791 --> 00:01:31,026
Last night, several masked men
robbed a number
34
00:01:31,027 --> 00:01:33,061
of check cashing locations
in our precinct.
35
00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:35,163
They also hit several locations
in the Nine-Three,
36
00:01:35,164 --> 00:01:37,165
so this will be
a joint investigation.
37
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:39,634
Detective David Majors
is already on the case.
38
00:01:39,669 --> 00:01:41,703
Whoa, Dave Majors?
39
00:01:41,704 --> 00:01:42,704
Seriously?
40
00:01:42,705 --> 00:01:44,206
Who's that?
41
00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:46,675
He's The best detective in
the NYPD, myself included.
42
00:01:46,709 --> 00:01:48,810
His arrest numbers
are staggering.
43
00:01:48,811 --> 00:01:51,179
His conviction rate
is magnificent.
44
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:53,315
He is blotter dynamite.
45
00:01:53,349 --> 00:01:54,816
I mean, I'm cool.
46
00:01:54,817 --> 00:01:56,218
I'm just hanging out
with you guys.
47
00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:58,353
Great,
but what's his body like
48
00:01:58,354 --> 00:02:00,388
on a scale from Charles
to Terry?
49
00:02:00,423 --> 00:02:01,790
Sorry, buddy.
50
00:02:01,791 --> 00:02:02,824
What?
51
00:02:02,825 --> 00:02:04,226
I'm the ten.
52
00:02:04,227 --> 00:02:05,227
Sure you are.
53
00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:07,162
Majors does just fine.
54
00:02:07,163 --> 00:02:09,564
His girlfriend is the weather
lady from channel five.
55
00:02:09,565 --> 00:02:11,833
You know, the one who's always
reaching for Cooperstown?
56
00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:13,201
Love her.
57
00:02:13,202 --> 00:02:14,569
Well, I need someone
to partner up with him.
58
00:02:14,570 --> 00:02:16,138
- Ooh, me, me, me, me, me.
- Oh, I'll do it.
59
00:02:16,139 --> 00:02:17,572
Sir, with all due respect,
I'm the obvious choice.
60
00:02:17,607 --> 00:02:20,375
I mean, look at me.
I'm not in profile.
61
00:02:20,376 --> 00:02:21,843
Sir, please let the record show
62
00:02:21,844 --> 00:02:23,945
that the sauce on his face
is from yesterday.
63
00:02:23,946 --> 00:02:25,380
And it is that level
of eagle-eyed observation
64
00:02:25,381 --> 00:02:26,615
that I plan to bring to...
65
00:02:26,616 --> 00:02:28,817
Enough.
You can both work the case.
66
00:02:28,851 --> 00:02:30,485
Three heads are better
than two.
67
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,987
Also,
I fear any other decision I make
68
00:02:31,988 --> 00:02:33,155
will just result
in further noise.
69
00:02:33,156 --> 00:02:34,322
Good call, sir.
70
00:02:34,323 --> 00:02:36,158
I was about to start chanting,
"Vote for Jake."
71
00:02:36,159 --> 00:02:37,359
Let's do it anyway.
72
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,361
Vote for Jake.
Vote for Jake.
73
00:02:39,362 --> 00:02:41,863
- Dismissed.
- Yeah.
74
00:02:41,898 --> 00:02:43,098
Code Chartreuse.
75
00:02:43,099 --> 00:02:44,599
I repeat, Code Chartreuse.
76
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:45,634
Gina, for the last time,
77
00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:47,369
please limit your alerts
to ROY-G-BIV.
78
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:48,537
Disappointing.
79
00:02:48,538 --> 00:02:50,138
"Code Chartreuse" means
"the recruiter
80
00:02:50,139 --> 00:02:52,340
from Copperhead Security,
Gary Shaw, is here."
81
00:02:52,341 --> 00:02:54,543
Gary Shaw has attempted
to pry me away
82
00:02:54,544 --> 00:02:56,678
from the NYPD for eight years.
83
00:02:56,679 --> 00:02:59,548
When he makes his offer,
I know just what I'll say:
84
00:02:59,582 --> 00:03:03,051
Never is not just a crater
on Mars.
85
00:03:03,085 --> 00:03:04,405
Of course,
it is a crater on Mars.
86
00:03:04,420 --> 00:03:05,520
That's hilarious.
87
00:03:05,521 --> 00:03:06,855
It's not meant to be funny,
Boyle.
88
00:03:06,856 --> 00:03:08,356
It's meant to be devastating.
89
00:03:08,357 --> 00:03:10,659
Captain Holt,
good to see you.
90
00:03:10,693 --> 00:03:13,662
Mr. Shaw,
let's just cut to the chase:
91
00:03:13,663 --> 00:03:16,565
Never is not just a crater
on Mars.
92
00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:22,037
Of course,
it is a crater on Mars.
93
00:03:22,038 --> 00:03:23,839
Well, actually,
I'm not here for you.
94
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,907
A member of your squad
reached out to me,
95
00:03:25,908 --> 00:03:27,742
a Sergeant Terry Jeffords.
96
00:03:27,777 --> 00:03:29,845
Oh.
97
00:03:29,846 --> 00:03:30,912
Oh, I see.
98
00:03:30,913 --> 00:03:34,015
Well,
Sergeant Jeffords is out there.
99
00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:35,250
Thank you, Captain.
100
00:03:35,284 --> 00:03:38,286
There's my guy
Terry the tank.
101
00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:41,323
What? Guys. What? Guys.
102
00:03:41,324 --> 00:03:43,258
Terry called him?
He's shaking Terry's hand.
103
00:03:43,259 --> 00:03:45,460
Now I'm just describing
everything that's happening?
104
00:03:45,461 --> 00:03:46,762
What the hell is going on?
105
00:03:46,763 --> 00:03:47,996
I do not know.
106
00:03:47,997 --> 00:03:50,232
And now Captain Holt
doesn't know.
107
00:03:56,706 --> 00:04:00,142
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
108
00:04:00,176 --> 00:04:01,843
Oh, Majors isn't here yet?
109
00:04:01,844 --> 00:04:04,379
I wasted all that coolness
on a bunch of nobodies.
110
00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:05,580
I'm just gonna reset.
111
00:04:08,484 --> 00:04:10,452
Jake, he's a
highly decorated detective.
112
00:04:10,453 --> 00:04:12,954
He's not gonna be impressed
by your sunglass choreography.
113
00:04:12,989 --> 00:04:16,124
He's gonna be too distracted
by my notebook flip.
114
00:04:16,159 --> 00:04:18,827
Shut up. Shut up.
He's here.
115
00:04:18,861 --> 00:04:20,328
Hey,
you must be the Nine-Nine.
116
00:04:20,329 --> 00:04:21,696
- I'm Majors.
- Hey. Peralta.
117
00:04:21,731 --> 00:04:24,065
This is Santiago.
118
00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:26,768
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
119
00:04:26,769 --> 00:04:28,870
You mean here in my notebook?
120
00:04:28,905 --> 00:04:30,972
I looked into the baby masks
the perps were wearing,
121
00:04:30,973 --> 00:04:33,075
and no stores
in the tri-state area sell them.
122
00:04:33,076 --> 00:04:35,210
Reminds me of a murder I worked
a few years back.
123
00:04:35,244 --> 00:04:36,745
Perp always wore
these weird masks
124
00:04:36,779 --> 00:04:38,499
We couldn't figure out
where he bought them.
125
00:04:38,514 --> 00:04:39,981
Turns out he was making
his own masks
126
00:04:39,982 --> 00:04:41,716
from human skin.
127
00:04:41,751 --> 00:04:43,251
No.
128
00:04:43,252 --> 00:04:44,886
That is so awesome.
129
00:04:44,887 --> 00:04:46,755
Really, Amy?
For whom?
130
00:04:46,756 --> 00:04:48,256
Sounds to me like those
face masks
131
00:04:48,257 --> 00:04:51,059
were once somebody's face...
faces.
132
00:04:51,094 --> 00:04:52,294
That's true, Peralta.
133
00:04:52,295 --> 00:04:53,695
I think about that every day.
134
00:04:53,730 --> 00:04:56,431
You and me both.
Ahh.
135
00:04:56,466 --> 00:04:59,301
Okay, I'm gonna look around,
take a few statements.
136
00:04:59,302 --> 00:05:00,335
Juicy. Juicy.
137
00:05:00,336 --> 00:05:01,870
- Good call. Good call.
- Yep, yep, yep.
138
00:05:01,871 --> 00:05:03,271
Tight, tight, tight,
tight, tight.
139
00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:05,774
Well, looks like round one
goes to Peralta.
140
00:05:05,775 --> 00:05:07,542
And don't worry;
I'm just getting warmed up.
141
00:05:07,543 --> 00:05:08,910
I still have eight
sunglass moves
142
00:05:08,911 --> 00:05:09,945
locked and loaded.
143
00:05:09,979 --> 00:05:12,681
Make that nine.
144
00:05:12,682 --> 00:05:14,516
A-whee.
145
00:05:20,556 --> 00:05:23,492
So how was lunch?
146
00:05:23,493 --> 00:05:24,659
It was good.
147
00:05:24,694 --> 00:05:26,128
I had the T-bone with...
148
00:05:26,129 --> 00:05:27,562
I don't give a crap
about the food.
149
00:05:27,563 --> 00:05:29,097
Just email me
about that later.
150
00:05:29,098 --> 00:05:30,098
What happened with Gary?
151
00:05:30,099 --> 00:05:31,933
He gave me the hard sell.
152
00:05:31,934 --> 00:05:34,836
Look at all this swag I got:
153
00:05:34,837 --> 00:05:37,239
Puffy vest, carabiner...
154
00:05:37,273 --> 00:05:38,573
Terry, carabiners suck.
155
00:05:38,574 --> 00:05:40,175
You want free stuff?
156
00:05:40,176 --> 00:05:41,576
Here you go.
All right?
157
00:05:41,577 --> 00:05:43,111
You can have anything
you want from Amy's desk.
158
00:05:43,112 --> 00:05:44,112
Yeah.
159
00:05:44,113 --> 00:05:46,481
Gary made me an offer:
160
00:05:46,482 --> 00:05:50,285
Better hours, great benefits,
a serious pay raise,
161
00:05:50,286 --> 00:05:52,821
my own office...
with walls.
162
00:05:52,855 --> 00:05:54,890
Did you tell him Terry
doesn't love walls?
163
00:05:54,891 --> 00:05:56,558
No, Terry loves walls.
164
00:05:56,592 --> 00:05:58,960
I'm seriously considering
saying yes
165
00:05:58,961 --> 00:06:00,862
Look, I have another kid
on the way.
166
00:06:00,863 --> 00:06:02,831
Do you know how much
diapers cost?
167
00:06:02,865 --> 00:06:04,900
Yes.
168
00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:09,004
The point is,
169
00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:11,506
I'm trying to do what's best
for my family.
170
00:06:11,507 --> 00:06:13,508
- It's not just about me.
- Exactly.
171
00:06:13,543 --> 00:06:18,113
It's about me and how you are
abandoning me to these squares.
172
00:06:19,449 --> 00:06:20,549
Yikes.
173
00:06:20,550 --> 00:06:22,250
Look at all these baby masks.
174
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,553
Looks like someone's due
for a spanking from Papa Law.
175
00:06:24,554 --> 00:06:25,821
Nice.
176
00:06:25,822 --> 00:06:27,923
So the van was stolen
from a rental lot
177
00:06:27,924 --> 00:06:30,892
three weeks ago
and dumped here yesterday.
178
00:06:30,893 --> 00:06:34,363
Talk about
a curbside drop-off.
179
00:06:34,364 --> 00:06:37,165
We're working a case here, Amy.
It's not Showtime at the Apollo.
180
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,501
Great point.
Thank you so much, Jake.
181
00:06:39,535 --> 00:06:43,038
Well, I'm going to go sign
the van over to forensics.
182
00:06:44,807 --> 00:06:47,509
Hey, listen, I'm a member
of this invite-only speakeasy
183
00:06:47,543 --> 00:06:48,543
called The Keychain.
184
00:06:48,544 --> 00:06:49,911
Want to get
a drink there later?
185
00:06:49,912 --> 00:06:52,147
I'd ask Amy also,
but I can only bring one guest.
186
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:54,416
Nah, it's cool; I'm sure
she's busy tonight anyway.
187
00:06:54,417 --> 00:06:55,884
Taxes are due
in eight months.
188
00:06:55,918 --> 00:06:57,452
Actually, they were due
two weeks ago.
189
00:06:57,453 --> 00:07:00,155
Well,
that is a horrible surprise.
190
00:07:00,156 --> 00:07:03,225
But the point is,
drink sounds good.
191
00:07:12,735 --> 00:07:13,902
Password?
192
00:07:13,936 --> 00:07:15,470
Tropical.
193
00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:23,979
Oh, my gah.
194
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:26,114
This place is amazing.
195
00:07:26,115 --> 00:07:28,517
Yeah, I come here
after ever case I solve,
196
00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:29,751
which means I'm here a lot.
197
00:07:29,786 --> 00:07:31,219
Oh, nice.
198
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:32,721
Every time I solve one,
I go get a steak dinner.
199
00:07:32,722 --> 00:07:34,356
My cholesterol is uh-terrible.
200
00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:36,358
Milo,
this is my friend Jake.
201
00:07:36,359 --> 00:07:37,659
We're working a case together.
202
00:07:37,660 --> 00:07:39,461
Yeah, and this is
my friend Dave.
203
00:07:39,462 --> 00:07:41,029
We're friends.
I'll have a...
204
00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:42,364
Oh no.
You don't order here.
205
00:07:42,398 --> 00:07:44,766
Milo makes you a drink
he knows you'll love,
206
00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:45,901
and then you love it.
207
00:07:45,935 --> 00:07:47,269
Really?
Interesting.
208
00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:50,906
Barrel Proof bourbon, neat
orange stood a chaser.
209
00:07:50,907 --> 00:07:52,441
Well, to the first
of many hangs.
210
00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:53,875
Yeah, totally.
211
00:07:53,876 --> 00:07:56,244
Listen, the reason
I brought you here is,
212
00:07:56,245 --> 00:07:58,880
I want to ask you,
what's the deal with Santiago?
213
00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:00,115
Amy?
Oh, no.
214
00:08:00,116 --> 00:08:01,250
Did she do something weird?
215
00:08:01,284 --> 00:08:02,818
No, no, she's great.
216
00:08:02,819 --> 00:08:04,553
I just want to know if there's
something going on with you two.
217
00:08:04,554 --> 00:08:05,887
You know, are you together...
218
00:08:05,922 --> 00:08:07,723
Oh, no, no.
219
00:08:07,757 --> 00:08:09,258
Cool, when this case is over,
220
00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,259
I'm gonna ask her out.
221
00:08:10,293 --> 00:08:12,094
Oh.
222
00:08:12,095 --> 00:08:15,030
You're gonna ask out Amy
when the case ends.
223
00:08:15,031 --> 00:08:17,065
Perfect.
224
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,634
Oh.
225
00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:19,901
Yeah,
that's a sippin' whiskey.
226
00:08:21,838 --> 00:08:23,179
So it is.
227
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:33,979
Seems about right.
228
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,347
What's wrong with you?
229
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,951
You and Majors have too much fun
last night at "The Keychain?"
230
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,453
Okay, it's a private bar,
not a haunted motel.
231
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,522
And no,
I did not have a good time.
232
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,324
Turns out he didn't want
to be best bros at all.
233
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,992
He just wanted to know
if I was cool with him
234
00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:48,394
asking Amy out
when the case ended.
235
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,795
I thought he was dating
that weather girl.
236
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:50,996
No, he dumped her because she
blamed Hurricane Sandy
237
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,364
on gay marriage.
238
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,666
Anyways,
now when the case ends,
239
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,101
Amy is gonna marry
Detective "Blotter Dynamite."
240
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,169
Why do you even care?
241
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,537
You still like her?
242
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,673
I don't know.
I mean, we're friends.
243
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,841
And things have been
kind of flirty lately.
244
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,044
Plus, we had this weird
romantic moment thing-y
245
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,679
at Charles and Gina's
parents' wedding.
246
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,414
Ugh, just say you like her.
247
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,149
All right, fine,
I still like her.
248
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,817
Look, I've been thinking
about asking her out
249
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,319
for the last couple of weeks,
but it's hard.
250
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,087
There's so much buildup now,
you know?
251
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,221
Not really.
I don't ask people out.
252
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,623
I just tell them
where we're going.
253
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,325
Great, well,
it doesn't matter now anyway,
254
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:20,526
'cause I told Dave
to go for it.
255
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:21,527
That was crazy stupid.
256
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,562
Sorry.
That was normal stupid.
257
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,997
You should have told him
to back off.
258
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,832
I can't go around telling guys
not to ask Amy out
259
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,101
because I like her and I'm too
dumb to do anything about it.
260
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,569
I can't make
a woman's choice for her.
261
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,271
I stand with Wendy.
Did I do that right?
262
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,339
- No.
- Oh.
263
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,241
Look, If you want to give her
a real choice,
264
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,877
you've got to let her know
that you an option.
265
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:40,346
I think you know
what you've got to do.
266
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,680
Yeah.
267
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:43,249
Ask her out before
the case ends, right?
268
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,683
I just want to be
extra clear.
269
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,019
The stakes for me are through
the roof for me on this one.
270
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:50,956
You wanted to see us?
271
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,725
What are these
requisition forms?
272
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,961
We are throwing Terry
a "please stay" party.
273
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:59,665
My vision is a frozen yogurt
machine operated by Pam Grier.
274
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:03,302
Sir, we think Sarge is going
to accept Copperhead's offer.
275
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,837
I never thought
I'd say these words:
276
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,139
You have to put Gina in touch
with Pam Grier.
277
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,074
No, Sergeant Jeffords
can make up his mind
278
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:11,810
without the influence
of Foxy Brown or cold yogurt.
279
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,912
He is a grown man.
280
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,180
Oh,
I see what's going on here
281
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,116
You're upset that Terry
would even consider
282
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,550
leaving the Nine-Nine.
283
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:22,354
I'd expect this pettiness from
a spineless amoeba like Charles,
284
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:23,475
but not you, Sir.
285
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,690
I'm not spineless.
286
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:25,691
Come on, Charles.
287
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:26,692
Yep.
288
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,628
Ahh, look who's finally here.
289
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,196
We already solved the case
without you.
290
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,565
What?
You did?
291
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:33,866
Kidding.
292
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,367
Oliver was actually giving us
some pretty bad news.
293
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,902
Carry on, Oliver.
294
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,404
So we swabbed the whole van.
295
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,905
We didn't find anything.
296
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,907
No hairs, no fibers, no semen.
297
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,543
And a rental van is usually
a frickin' Jackson Pollock.
298
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:45,578
All right.
299
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:46,679
They also wiped
down the masks
300
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,447
with some sort of
bleach solution.
301
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,216
They were really
covering their tracks.
302
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,784
Check it out.
303
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,419
Well,
that wasn't very helpful.
304
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,955
Although, I did learn I should
never rent a van again.
305
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:58,023
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second privately?
306
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,892
Sure.
Oh, wait.
307
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,594
This isn't gonna be that thing
where you pretend you got
308
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:02,928
an important text from Holt,
309
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,430
and it's just that video
of screaming sheep.
310
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:07,066
I promise you it's not,
but I do stand by that prank.
311
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,970
So what's up?
312
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:15,007
Okay, I almost feel
weird saying this,
313
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,376
but I wanted to ask you...
314
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,078
wow, those pictures
are not helping.
315
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,512
Oh, my God.
316
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,281
They're really gonna
have to re-grout.
317
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,916
Ugh, finding a contractor.
318
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,251
You are so consistent.
319
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,253
Anyways, the question I wanted
to ask you is...
320
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,054
So I got the results
on that feces.
321
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:32,157
It's human,
but it's not all human.
322
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,359
You're not Dr. Gassner.
323
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,393
We are not.
324
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,561
- Can you give us a sec?
- Sure.
325
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,896
Real quick,
what was the other...
326
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,130
Dog and bear.
327
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,431
Wow.
328
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,433
I thought you'd really
be into that feces puzzle.
329
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,868
Normally, yes.
330
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,037
But I want to talk to you
about something else right now.
331
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,338
More specifically...
332
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,340
- Guys, dispatch called.
- Great, Dave's here now.
333
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,042
The check-cashing babies
just struck on Flatbush.
334
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,043
We've got to go.
335
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,411
Lead the way.
336
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,079
What did you want to tell me?
337
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:58,017
Oh, Captain Holt sent
a very important text.
338
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,118
Oh.
339
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:09,461
What's that smell?
340
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:12,331
That's lavender.
Terry loves lavender.
341
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,500
A little homemade
honey yogurt
342
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:17,636
infused with
lavender and love.
343
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:21,106
Mmm, that is delicious.
344
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,641
Hold it.
345
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,044
This isn't some weird breast
milk or something is it, Boyle?
346
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,179
I mean, technically
it's from a sheep's breast.
347
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,481
Hey, Terry,
got any new baby pics?
348
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,283
You hate looking at
pictures of my twins.
349
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,718
You said since they
were identical,
350
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,453
I didn't need to take
photos of both.
351
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,355
That doesn't sound
like Auntie Gina.
352
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,290
I love your baby pics
353
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:41,227
and your stories about
the twins' sleep schedules.
354
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:44,063
Okay, I know what
you two are doing.
355
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,631
This is your weird way
of trying
356
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,967
to make me stay
at the Nine-Nine.
357
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,469
Well, I am loving it.
358
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,140
You know, the funny thing is,
Cagney naps better,
359
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,675
but at night,
that's Lacey's time to shine.
360
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,077
One time,
she went 8-to-8.
361
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,178
- Dang.
- Wow.
362
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,546
I know.
363
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,882
Jeffords, I need you to digitize
all your case files
364
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,918
from 1995 to 1999 inclusive
by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
365
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,686
But it's already 1:00.
366
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,688
I told Sharon
we'd have dinner tonight.
367
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,624
I was gonna have
a cup of coffee
368
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,460
so that I could stay up
and... kiss.
369
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,929
I suggest putting that
caffeine towards something
370
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:20,566
more productive
than "kissing."
371
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,735
Sir, what are you doing?
372
00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:24,804
Making sure that Jeffords'
case files are digitized
373
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,806
by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
374
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,341
I thought I was
perfectly clear.
375
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:32,745
I've got to call my wife,
tell her date night is off.
376
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:36,182
I sent her all those kiss-face
emojis for no damn reason.
377
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,750
Oh, no.
378
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,785
Despite what I've been
saying for years,
379
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:42,555
that ass just might quit.
380
00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:43,956
I don't get it.
381
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,458
There's no rhyme or reason
to the locations they hit.
382
00:13:45,459 --> 00:13:47,092
This place was so
well-guarded.
383
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:48,561
And why not hit the one
down the street
384
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:49,895
that just has an old man
out front?
385
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:52,398
It just seems so random.
386
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:55,868
Yeah, it's like...
oh, that feels great.
387
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,169
I don't think it's random.
388
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,904
These guys are too good,
you know.
389
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,473
We'll crack it.
390
00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:01,874
I'm gonna go grab
some coffee.
391
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,442
Great.
392
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,144
Mm.
393
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,079
Hey, now that it's just us,
394
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,749
there's a thing
I wanted to...
395
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:12,418
to say a-da-za you.
396
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:13,686
Why doesn't your mouth work?
397
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,287
Why doesn't your mouth work?
Title of our sex tape.
398
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,255
- What?
- Your sex tape.
399
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,623
What?
No.
400
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:21,527
Look,
here's what I wanted to say.
401
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,395
Oh, no.
I figured it out.
402
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,131
- Huh?
- Here, look.
403
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:27,500
The trash cans, the van,
the jumpsuit,
404
00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:29,268
they all say
"Johnny's Janitorial."
405
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,302
Not random.
406
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,204
They cased each location
as cleaners.
407
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,039
No wonder the van
was so spotless.
408
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,174
Hey, what did I miss?
409
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,675
Jake just solved the case.
410
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,744
Holy crap.
That's awesome.
411
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:40,980
All right.
412
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,983
I mean, but, you know,
it's not totally done yet.
413
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,618
You know,
still a long way to go.
414
00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:47,787
Tons of paperwork,
and a case is never truly done
415
00:14:47,788 --> 00:14:49,121
until the trial is complete
416
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:51,657
and the sentence is served
completely to its fruition
417
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:52,892
in prison.
418
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,560
Jake, just celebrate.
419
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,429
Okay.
420
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:58,197
Wow.
421
00:15:00,951 --> 00:15:02,285
Why the long face?
422
00:15:02,286 --> 00:15:04,287
That Mexican candy
giving you nerve damage again?
423
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,322
Probably, but who even cares?
424
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,590
Why did I solve the case?
425
00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,092
Why couldn't I have just
let those guys continue
426
00:15:09,093 --> 00:15:10,627
to terrorize Brooklyn
until I built up the nerve
427
00:15:10,628 --> 00:15:11,628
to ask out a girl?
428
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:12,729
You're a good cop.
429
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,090
Do not beat yourself up
about that.
430
00:15:14,098 --> 00:15:15,565
I'm not a good cop.
I'm an amazing cop.
431
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,185
And I'll never
forgive myself.
432
00:15:17,201 --> 00:15:19,035
The case is over,
Amy and Majors are on their way
433
00:15:19,036 --> 00:15:20,170
to The Keychain right now.
434
00:15:20,171 --> 00:15:21,171
It's too late.
435
00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:22,472
Has she done
the double tuck yet?
436
00:15:22,473 --> 00:15:24,040
When Amy really likes a guy,
437
00:15:24,041 --> 00:15:25,442
she gets nervous
and tucks her hair
438
00:15:25,443 --> 00:15:27,711
behind both ears
at the same time.
439
00:15:29,814 --> 00:15:31,614
Well, I can never unsee that,
440
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,249
but no,
she has not done that yet.
441
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,284
Then there's still time.
442
00:15:34,318 --> 00:15:36,586
Get in there
and bust up her date.
443
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:37,687
Show her you care.
444
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:38,922
Ruin her night.
445
00:15:38,956 --> 00:15:40,990
You really have
a unique take on love.
446
00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:49,232
Ugh, I've only gotten through
September of 1995.
447
00:15:49,266 --> 00:15:50,466
What are you guys doing here?
448
00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:52,301
Blowing your stupid mind.
449
00:15:52,302 --> 00:15:53,836
We did the rest
of the files for you.
450
00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:55,772
Seriously?
451
00:15:55,773 --> 00:15:57,640
I'm gonna text my wife.
452
00:15:57,641 --> 00:16:00,143
Now there's time for dinner
and a movie.
453
00:16:00,144 --> 00:16:02,078
And none of that
"on demand" crap.
454
00:16:02,079 --> 00:16:05,848
Tonight I'm gonna fall asleep
in a real movie theater.
455
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:08,318
Yeah, that's how we do it
in the Nine-Nine.
456
00:16:08,319 --> 00:16:09,686
We got each others' backs.
457
00:16:09,687 --> 00:16:10,753
Damn right.
458
00:16:10,754 --> 00:16:13,022
Charles, make your own point.
459
00:16:13,023 --> 00:16:14,457
Don't just pile onto mine.
460
00:16:14,458 --> 00:16:15,825
Gina, where have you been?
461
00:16:15,859 --> 00:16:17,126
You left your cell phone
on your desk,
462
00:16:17,127 --> 00:16:18,261
and I assumed you were dead.
463
00:16:18,295 --> 00:16:20,596
Mm, I would clearly be
buried with my phone.
464
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:24,600
Sir, these guys already
digitized all my files for me.
465
00:16:24,601 --> 00:16:26,369
- Isn't that amazing?
- What?
466
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,438
Why did you snatch up
Sergeant Jeffords' task?
467
00:16:28,472 --> 00:16:30,039
Because we're trying
to get him to stay.
468
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,708
Well, that's not your job.
469
00:16:31,709 --> 00:16:33,343
Jeffords, you can
stay here and digitize
470
00:16:33,344 --> 00:16:35,778
2000 through 2005 inclusive.
471
00:16:35,779 --> 00:16:37,146
I expect it done
by the morning.
472
00:16:40,484 --> 00:16:41,517
Great.
473
00:16:41,518 --> 00:16:43,119
Now I have to re-cancel
on Sharon.
474
00:16:43,153 --> 00:16:46,222
If I worked at Copperhead,
I'd be home by now
475
00:16:46,223 --> 00:16:47,991
swimming in a pool
of gold coins,
476
00:16:47,992 --> 00:16:49,959
like my boy, Scrooge McDuck.
477
00:16:54,164 --> 00:16:55,531
Password?
478
00:16:55,566 --> 00:16:57,200
- Tropical.
- Mm-mm.
479
00:16:57,234 --> 00:16:59,268
That's an old password.
480
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,336
It changes every night.
481
00:17:00,371 --> 00:17:04,007
All right, fine.
Tropical one?
482
00:17:04,041 --> 00:17:05,475
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Augh!
483
00:17:05,509 --> 00:17:07,443
Ahh!
484
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:10,013
Ha-ha.
Not cool, okay?
485
00:17:10,014 --> 00:17:12,448
Look, just ask Milo
the bartender, all right?
486
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,584
He knows me.
Tell him Orange Soda is back.
487
00:17:14,585 --> 00:17:15,918
I don't know no Milo.
488
00:17:15,953 --> 00:17:18,488
The bartenders also change
their names every night.
489
00:17:18,522 --> 00:17:22,659
And get out of here until
you know the password, man.
490
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:25,428
Damn it.
This place is so cool.
491
00:17:27,431 --> 00:17:28,431
Come on, strangers.
492
00:17:28,432 --> 00:17:30,733
Show me your lips.
493
00:17:30,768 --> 00:17:32,135
There you go.
494
00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:33,603
Got it.
495
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,411
Pepper.
496
00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:42,412
Pooper.
497
00:17:45,883 --> 00:17:47,950
Popcorn.
498
00:17:49,687 --> 00:17:51,521
Plor-pa-pa.
499
00:17:51,522 --> 00:17:52,855
Plorp.
500
00:17:52,856 --> 00:17:53,856
Pa-aark.
501
00:17:53,857 --> 00:17:55,158
Parked.
502
00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:56,993
Okay.
503
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,767
Yeah.
504
00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:07,937
Nooorse.
505
00:18:11,775 --> 00:18:12,875
Bull's-eye.
506
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:17,814
Oh, no, the double tuck.
507
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,684
Oh, hey.
508
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,987
You wouldn't kick out a hopeless
romantic who's only here
509
00:18:23,988 --> 00:18:25,288
in the name of love,
would you?
510
00:18:25,289 --> 00:18:27,290
Ooh, you would.
511
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,877
Terry!
512
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,545
So what happened at breakfast
with Gary?
513
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,280
Are you leaving us
for Copperhead?
514
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,949
Because I'm prepared to light
Charles on fire in protest.
515
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,384
Relax.
516
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:42,187
I declined the offer,
told them I wasn't interested.
517
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:43,188
Eat it, Gary.
518
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,623
I gave him back all his swag,
519
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:49,094
except the puffy vest,
which I, uh, lost.
520
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,503
I'm staying
at the Nine-Nine!
521
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,507
Great news, Sergeant.
522
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:03,709
Really?
523
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:06,278
So you're done trying
to push him out, Yoko?
524
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:09,014
Whoa, don't give
Captain Holt a hard time.
525
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,382
He's the reason I'm staying.
526
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,984
I don't know what
you're talking about.
527
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,653
You're an adult, and you came
to your own decision.
528
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,989
Look at me.
I can't keep a straight face.
529
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,924
I played you like a fiddle.
530
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,125
Yeah, you did.
531
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,127
Digitizing those old files
reminded me
532
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:25,564
of all the cases I worked and
all the good we do in community.
533
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:28,600
What's best for my family
is that they grow up with a dad
534
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,035
who's proud of what he does.
535
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,603
Thank you, Captain.
536
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,171
Look at you.
537
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:37,175
You're like the wise old owl
from those lollipop commercials.
538
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,777
Terry's back!
539
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,614
Hey, buddy, sorry I'm late.
540
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,583
I had to get this dumb medal
from the commissioner
541
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,151
for a double-murder
I solved last year.
542
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,152
Been there.
543
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,753
I had a pretty crazy
morning myself.
544
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,789
Jake, your taquitos exploded
in the toaster oven.
545
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,024
Thanks, Rosa.
10-4. Copy that.
546
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,459
So how did it go
with Santiago?
547
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,894
Actually, she wasn't into it.
548
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:56,895
Swing and a miss.
549
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:57,896
You're kidding.
550
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,064
Yeah, it was really weird.
551
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:00,498
I've never been
turned down before,
552
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,033
so unexpected.
553
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,136
I'm excited to see
what happens to me next.
554
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,137
Okay.
555
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,742
So... Blotter Dynamite
struck out, huh?
556
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,043
I know, but why?
557
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,878
What does it mean,
and why did she double tuck?
558
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,247
And how come she
turned him down?
559
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:16,381
Do you think it has
something to do with me?
560
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,382
- Rosa, what is she thinking?
- Jake.
561
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,683
Yeah,
I should ask her myself.
562
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,987
Hey, you just missed Majors.
563
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,922
I've got to say, he was looking
a little bit rough,
564
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:26,524
almost like he was up all night
crying or something.
565
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:27,659
Ha-ha, Jake.
566
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,994
I'm sure he's fine.
567
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,496
So...
what happened?
568
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,164
Well, I thought
we were getting a drink
569
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,399
to celebrate
closing the case.
570
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,534
But apparently,
he thought it was a date.
571
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,003
Right, and you were
not into that,
572
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,672
because he's so muscular
and in command of his finances?
573
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:44,376
He's great, but after everything
that happened with Teddy
574
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,344
and all the cops I know
who go out and break up
575
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:47,846
and then still have
to work together,
576
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,281
it's just too messy.
577
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,283
I've got a new rule:
I don't date cops.
578
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,785
Cool. Cool.
579
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,854
Yeah, actually, that's funny.
I have the same rule.
580
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,255
No more cops.
581
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,391
From this point on,
it's strictly dating criminals.
582
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,959
If you break up with them,
583
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,561
you can always send them
to jail forever.
584
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,229
Exactly, nice and clean.
585
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,431
- Mm-hmm.
- So...
586
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,433
Hey, I got an email
from the commissioner's office
587
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,467
about our case.
588
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:10,535
What did they say?
589
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:14,439
Ahh!
Ahh. Ah-ha.
590
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,540
You got me with my thing.
591
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:16,541
- Mm-hmm.
- Great.
592
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,576
Oh!
593
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:28,153
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
Resync by GoldenBeard
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