1
00:00:00,399 --> 00:00:02,424
Good morning, Diaz, Peralta.
2
00:00:02,459 --> 00:00:04,861
Captain.
You're smiling.
3
00:00:04,862 --> 00:00:07,629
It's very weird, like seeing
a turtle out of its shell.
4
00:00:07,664 --> 00:00:08,898
I'm happy.
5
00:00:08,899 --> 00:00:10,499
Our drug task force
was a success,
6
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,902
and today, I get to watch
my Nemesis, Madeline Wuntch,
7
00:00:12,903 --> 00:00:14,803
drape a medal around my neck.
8
00:00:14,838 --> 00:00:16,338
Also, we cleaned up the streets.
9
00:00:16,373 --> 00:00:17,573
Yeah, sure.
That's good too.
10
00:00:17,574 --> 00:00:19,542
So I've been planning
how to zing Madeline
11
00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:20,842
when she puts the medal on.
12
00:00:20,878 --> 00:00:22,110
I have the perfect line.
13
00:00:22,145 --> 00:00:23,879
"Wuntch-time is over."
14
00:00:26,183 --> 00:00:28,016
It's a...
It's a play on "lunch time."
15
00:00:28,051 --> 00:00:29,685
Yes, devastating burn, sir.
16
00:00:29,686 --> 00:00:31,420
But you know what would
really show her
17
00:00:31,421 --> 00:00:32,821
is if you said nothing at all.
18
00:00:32,856 --> 00:00:34,523
Oh, interesting. Interesting.
19
00:00:34,524 --> 00:00:36,058
Let Madeline know
she's not even worth
20
00:00:36,059 --> 00:00:37,459
my staying up all night
crafting zingers.
21
00:00:37,494 --> 00:00:38,960
"Wuntch-time" took you
all night?
22
00:00:38,996 --> 00:00:41,364
Trust me.
Turn the other cheek.
23
00:00:41,365 --> 00:00:44,533
Which I recently learned
is about faces and not butts,
24
00:00:44,534 --> 00:00:45,700
but works either way.
25
00:00:45,736 --> 00:00:46,968
Yes.
26
00:00:47,004 --> 00:00:48,337
I should be the bigger person.
27
00:00:48,338 --> 00:00:49,739
That shouldn't be hard,
given that
28
00:00:49,740 --> 00:00:52,807
Madeline's not technically
a person.
29
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:57,079
For meritorious service, the
NYPD bestows this award
30
00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:00,215
on detectives Rosa Diaz,
Jake Peralta,
31
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,451
and Captain...
32
00:01:02,452 --> 00:01:04,019
Raymond Holt.
33
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,559
Raymond.
Madeline.
34
00:01:11,595 --> 00:01:12,895
You won.
35
00:01:12,896 --> 00:01:14,829
Go ahead and gloat, you toad.
36
00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:18,667
Thank you for this honor,
deputy chief.
37
00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:23,839
Oh.
Okay.
38
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,974
You're welcome.
39
00:01:25,975 --> 00:01:27,076
Wuntch-time is over.
40
00:01:27,077 --> 00:01:28,611
Boom! Did it!
41
00:01:28,612 --> 00:01:29,946
Had it both ways.
42
00:01:29,947 --> 00:01:31,447
No regrets.
43
00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:35,238
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
44
00:01:52,736 --> 00:01:53,735
Listen up, gang.
45
00:01:53,737 --> 00:01:58,474
We have intel on a drop
house used by Alexei Bisko,
46
00:01:58,475 --> 00:01:59,908
a Captain
in the Ukrainian mafia.
47
00:01:59,943 --> 00:02:01,077
Oh, he should be psyched.
48
00:02:01,078 --> 00:02:03,044
That's a very
up-and-coming mafia.
49
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,447
His soldiers use the site
50
00:02:04,448 --> 00:02:06,215
to drop off money
and pick up weapons.
51
00:02:06,216 --> 00:02:08,783
We need a couple of teams
to do long-term stakeouts.
52
00:02:08,819 --> 00:02:09,819
I'm out.
53
00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:10,920
Four hours is the most
54
00:02:10,921 --> 00:02:12,054
I've ever spent alone
with any human.
55
00:02:12,055 --> 00:02:13,388
It was the worst experience
of my life.
56
00:02:13,423 --> 00:02:15,458
What about that time we drove
out to Boston together?
57
00:02:15,459 --> 00:02:17,760
That was about four hours.
58
00:02:17,761 --> 00:02:19,294
Oh, I see what just happened.
59
00:02:19,329 --> 00:02:21,664
The only decent vantage
is this condemned hotel
60
00:02:21,665 --> 00:02:22,664
across the street.
61
00:02:22,666 --> 00:02:24,266
We can go in as exterminators,
62
00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,635
but too much movement
will look suspicious.
63
00:02:26,636 --> 00:02:29,304
It's an eight-day op, so two
teams will do four days each.
64
00:02:29,339 --> 00:02:30,372
Boyle and I are in.
65
00:02:30,407 --> 00:02:32,341
Okay, that's one team.
66
00:02:32,342 --> 00:02:33,308
Who wants to relieve them?
67
00:02:33,343 --> 00:02:34,477
If extraction is a risk,
68
00:02:34,478 --> 00:02:36,078
the two of us
can do the full eight days.
69
00:02:36,079 --> 00:02:37,379
A Hanukkah miracle.
70
00:02:37,414 --> 00:02:40,649
No, that is too long to be
holed up together like that.
71
00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:42,284
I did a six-day stakeout once.
72
00:02:42,285 --> 00:02:43,985
Did not go well.
73
00:02:44,021 --> 00:02:45,688
Well, that's not gonna be
a problem for us.
74
00:02:45,689 --> 00:02:47,256
The only time
I ever yelled at Charles
75
00:02:47,257 --> 00:02:49,392
was cheering him on at
his roller boogie competition.
76
00:02:49,393 --> 00:02:50,393
We never fight.
77
00:02:50,394 --> 00:02:52,994
It won't be a stakeout,
it'll be a stake-cation.
78
00:02:53,030 --> 00:02:55,564
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
79
00:02:55,565 --> 00:02:59,502
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch this guy ♪
80
00:02:59,503 --> 00:03:00,902
We already have a theme song.
81
00:03:00,937 --> 00:03:02,270
That concludes this meeting.
82
00:03:03,306 --> 00:03:05,006
Ooh, what's this?
83
00:03:05,042 --> 00:03:06,776
None of your business.
84
00:03:06,777 --> 00:03:08,143
"None of your business"?
85
00:03:08,178 --> 00:03:11,347
The most enticing words
a person can say.
86
00:03:11,348 --> 00:03:13,416
Terry, I will not leave
your side
87
00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:15,617
until there are no secrets
between us.
88
00:03:15,652 --> 00:03:16,652
Fine.
89
00:03:16,653 --> 00:03:19,187
I'm making my twins a picture
book for their birthday.
90
00:03:19,222 --> 00:03:22,558
It's called june bug
Adventure girls.
91
00:03:22,559 --> 00:03:24,826
Whoa, this one looks
just like you, Gina.
92
00:03:24,861 --> 00:03:26,262
Yes.
93
00:03:26,263 --> 00:03:28,830
She is straight-up gorgeous.
94
00:03:28,865 --> 00:03:30,166
And this one's definitely you.
95
00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:32,000
Look how masculine
the clothes are.
96
00:03:32,035 --> 00:03:33,969
It's a suit of armor.
97
00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:35,537
Pantsuit of armor.
98
00:03:35,572 --> 00:03:37,106
The drawings look like you two,
99
00:03:37,107 --> 00:03:40,509
but only because it's easier
for me to draw from real life.
100
00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:41,810
The whole squad's in here.
101
00:03:41,845 --> 00:03:45,748
Tiny squirrel is Charles,
the walrus is Captain Holt,
102
00:03:45,749 --> 00:03:47,416
and the hippo with heads
on both ends,
103
00:03:47,417 --> 00:03:48,716
that's Hitchcock and Scully.
104
00:03:48,752 --> 00:03:49,751
How do they defecate?
105
00:03:49,753 --> 00:03:52,655
It's a kid's book, Santiago!
106
00:03:52,656 --> 00:03:56,092
This is why I didn't want
to show it to people.
107
00:03:56,093 --> 00:03:57,625
Pickin' it apart.
108
00:04:07,671 --> 00:04:09,538
Oh.
109
00:04:09,539 --> 00:04:11,873
Oh, my God, did you carry us
up here like suitcases?
110
00:04:11,908 --> 00:04:13,008
No, man.
111
00:04:13,009 --> 00:04:14,076
This is real life.
112
00:04:14,077 --> 00:04:15,243
I rolled you in on the cart.
113
00:04:15,278 --> 00:04:16,278
Boo!
114
00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,646
Terry sucks!
Terry sucks!
115
00:04:18,682 --> 00:04:19,915
Terry's great.
Terry's great.
116
00:04:19,916 --> 00:04:20,882
Where do you want the food?
117
00:04:20,917 --> 00:04:22,451
And does braided herring
118
00:04:22,452 --> 00:04:24,687
and jellied starfish
count as food?
119
00:04:24,688 --> 00:04:26,388
Oh, indeed it does.
120
00:04:26,389 --> 00:04:27,923
I may be stuck in a tiny room,
121
00:04:27,924 --> 00:04:29,859
but my palate
will travel the world.
122
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:30,859
Listen up.
123
00:04:30,861 --> 00:04:32,261
This is a real small room.
124
00:04:32,262 --> 00:04:34,029
If you start getting on
each other's nerves,
125
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:35,230
do what I do with my babies:
126
00:04:35,265 --> 00:04:37,065
Go to separate corners.
127
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:38,733
We call it "alone zones."
128
00:04:38,768 --> 00:04:41,269
All due respect, sarge,
but we don't need "alone zones."
129
00:04:41,304 --> 00:04:42,805
No, we do not.
130
00:04:42,806 --> 00:04:44,572
But let me ask you a question.
131
00:04:44,608 --> 00:04:46,742
How do we feel
about scone zones?
132
00:04:46,743 --> 00:04:48,176
I feel great about it.
133
00:04:48,211 --> 00:04:49,210
Me too.
134
00:04:49,246 --> 00:04:50,246
Sarge?
135
00:04:50,247 --> 00:04:51,547
I'm a muffin guy.
136
00:04:51,548 --> 00:04:53,585
Boo!
Boo!
137
00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:56,718
Great news, my friend.
138
00:04:56,753 --> 00:04:58,888
We have a bathroom pet.
139
00:04:58,889 --> 00:05:01,190
His name is Horace,
and he's either a small rat
140
00:05:01,191 --> 00:05:04,526
or a large cockroach, and
he's either sleeping or dead.
141
00:05:04,561 --> 00:05:06,162
Here's the schedule:
142
00:05:06,163 --> 00:05:07,729
Eight hours both on watch;
143
00:05:07,764 --> 00:05:09,064
Eight hours I sleep, you watch;
144
00:05:09,065 --> 00:05:10,566
Eight hours you sleep, I watch.
145
00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:11,766
I set an alarm.
146
00:05:11,801 --> 00:05:13,202
I made the perfect ringtone.
147
00:05:13,203 --> 00:05:14,470
Listen.
148
00:05:14,471 --> 00:05:16,271
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
149
00:05:16,306 --> 00:05:19,407
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch the guy ♪
150
00:05:19,442 --> 00:05:20,442
I love it.
151
00:05:20,443 --> 00:05:22,210
All right, we got binocs,
152
00:05:22,245 --> 00:05:25,346
camera, night vision goggles,
computer, and...
153
00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:29,284
Mini-basketball.
154
00:05:29,319 --> 00:05:31,487
Oh, my God, I love that.
155
00:05:31,488 --> 00:05:34,990
My whole problem with basketball
was big ball, tiny hands.
156
00:05:34,991 --> 00:05:36,458
Tiny ball, problem solved.
157
00:05:36,459 --> 00:05:37,458
Oop me.
158
00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:39,862
Ready? Ooping.
One, two, three!
159
00:05:42,199 --> 00:05:43,479
Did that look
as cool as it felt?
160
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:44,599
How cool did it feel?
161
00:05:44,634 --> 00:05:45,834
Mm.
162
00:05:45,835 --> 00:05:47,735
Everyone,
this is my nephew Marcus.
163
00:05:47,771 --> 00:05:49,404
He's new in town.
164
00:05:49,439 --> 00:05:51,140
He's staying with me
until he finds a place.
165
00:05:51,141 --> 00:05:52,240
He is 31.
166
00:05:52,275 --> 00:05:53,641
You're a terrible hype-man.
167
00:05:53,677 --> 00:05:55,910
And you must be Gina.
168
00:05:55,946 --> 00:05:57,246
I heard a lot about everyone.
169
00:05:57,247 --> 00:06:01,984
I take it you're
Amy, Rosa, Terry...
170
00:06:01,985 --> 00:06:04,520
I'm Jake.
We're both Jake.
171
00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:06,488
Scully and Hitchcock.
172
00:06:06,489 --> 00:06:08,923
Hey, well, I just came to get
the keys from my uncle Ray.
173
00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:10,858
Let everybody get back to work.
174
00:06:10,894 --> 00:06:12,328
Nice meeting you.
Pleasure.
175
00:06:12,329 --> 00:06:13,361
Bye.
176
00:06:13,396 --> 00:06:15,664
Holy Moses.
177
00:06:15,665 --> 00:06:16,932
"Bye"?
What?
178
00:06:16,933 --> 00:06:19,101
For you, that's basically
walking up to him
179
00:06:19,102 --> 00:06:21,169
and jamming your tongue
down his throat.
180
00:06:21,204 --> 00:06:22,204
Shut up.
181
00:06:22,205 --> 00:06:23,304
Yes, Gina, that's enough.
182
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,740
You're right.
Sorry.
183
00:06:24,741 --> 00:06:27,309
Too far.
184
00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:30,045
But let me just add
one little thing off topic.
185
00:06:30,046 --> 00:06:31,813
Rosa wants to bone your nephew.
186
00:06:37,187 --> 00:06:39,021
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
187
00:06:39,022 --> 00:06:40,888
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch this guy ♪
188
00:06:45,328 --> 00:06:46,528
Wow.
189
00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:48,663
That sleep apnea mask
is something else, huh?
190
00:06:49,699 --> 00:06:50,699
I got to say,
191
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,534
ever since I got her...
Her?
192
00:06:52,535 --> 00:06:53,702
She touches my lips, Jake.
193
00:06:53,703 --> 00:06:55,037
She's a her.
194
00:06:55,038 --> 00:06:57,139
And since she took up residence
on my face,
195
00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:58,440
I sleep like a baby.
196
00:06:58,441 --> 00:06:59,836
Okay.
197
00:06:59,843 --> 00:07:00,976
Well, while you slept,
198
00:07:00,977 --> 00:07:02,497
there was some action
at the drop site.
199
00:07:02,512 --> 00:07:03,879
A blue sedan pulled up.
200
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,048
I got the plates
and the driver's face.
201
00:07:06,049 --> 00:07:08,851
Also, this is the guy
who runs the drop house.
202
00:07:08,852 --> 00:07:11,387
I call him "the beach umbrella"
because he looks so shady.
203
00:07:11,388 --> 00:07:12,387
Oh.
204
00:07:14,224 --> 00:07:16,191
Hey, this is a kind of
weird request,
205
00:07:16,192 --> 00:07:18,560
but would you maybe mind
chewing your nortfluskers
206
00:07:18,561 --> 00:07:19,728
with your mouth closed?
207
00:07:19,729 --> 00:07:23,065
I can't, and I'm excited
to tell you why.
208
00:07:23,066 --> 00:07:24,365
I have a new eating method.
209
00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:27,936
I realized that open mouths
oxygenate the food,
210
00:07:27,937 --> 00:07:30,204
so it's kind of like
wine tasting.
211
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:31,240
And I hear you, buddy.
212
00:07:31,241 --> 00:07:32,241
I really do.
213
00:07:32,242 --> 00:07:34,076
It's just...
It's pretty gross,
214
00:07:34,077 --> 00:07:36,378
so maybe just while
we're together,
215
00:07:36,379 --> 00:07:39,113
you could keep
the old chewer shut?
216
00:07:39,149 --> 00:07:42,885
Okay, but I don't complain
about how gross your meal is.
217
00:07:42,886 --> 00:07:45,119
What's gross about pancakes
with butter and maple syrup?
218
00:07:45,155 --> 00:07:47,056
You've completely abandoned
the pancake part.
219
00:07:47,057 --> 00:07:48,556
Now you're just eating
butter with syrup on it.
220
00:07:48,591 --> 00:07:49,958
Yeah, I cut out the carbs.
221
00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:51,393
This is me being healthy.
222
00:07:51,394 --> 00:07:53,928
Okay, well, maybe we just eat
in separate corners of the room.
223
00:07:53,963 --> 00:07:55,296
Great.
I love that plan.
224
00:07:55,332 --> 00:07:58,032
Wait!
That's alone zones.
225
00:07:58,068 --> 00:07:59,168
We don't need alone zones.
226
00:07:59,169 --> 00:08:00,435
We're fine.
We're not fighting.
227
00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:01,969
We're great.
Eat your butter-syrup.
228
00:08:02,005 --> 00:08:04,238
Yeah, keep that chew hole open.
229
00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:08,357
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
230
00:08:08,358 --> 00:08:09,892
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch this guy ♪
231
00:08:09,893 --> 00:08:11,994
It's a shift.
Love this song.
232
00:08:11,995 --> 00:08:13,995
I can't even remember
the original lyrics anymore.
233
00:08:14,031 --> 00:08:15,130
Hmm.
234
00:08:16,233 --> 00:08:18,433
Black SUV, female driver.
235
00:08:18,468 --> 00:08:20,168
She's wearing a lot
of drab colors,
236
00:08:20,203 --> 00:08:22,371
so we'll call her Mrs. peacock.
237
00:08:22,372 --> 00:08:24,640
Male peacocks are
the colorful dressers.
238
00:08:24,641 --> 00:08:27,475
God, how did humans
get it so backwards?
239
00:08:27,511 --> 00:08:28,676
We may never know.
Mm-hmm.
240
00:08:29,913 --> 00:08:33,581
Hey, listen, about
our alone zone close call...
241
00:08:33,617 --> 00:08:34,817
Oh, that...
It's not a big deal.
242
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,484
We're not gonna start fighting.
We never fight.
243
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,520
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
244
00:08:37,521 --> 00:08:39,121
That's what I was thinking.
245
00:08:39,122 --> 00:08:41,590
But just to be safe,
we could write down
246
00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:43,192
some of each other's
annoying behaviors
247
00:08:43,193 --> 00:08:45,561
that we want to be
off-limits, you know?
248
00:08:45,562 --> 00:08:46,995
We could call it
"the no-no list."
249
00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:49,998
Oh, I love it.
250
00:08:50,033 --> 00:08:52,867
Okay, so here's
what I've got for you.
251
00:08:52,903 --> 00:08:54,269
No eating with your mouth open.
252
00:08:54,304 --> 00:08:55,304
We knew that.
253
00:08:55,305 --> 00:08:58,340
No rasta-man voice,
no reciting poetry,
254
00:08:58,341 --> 00:09:02,311
no ballroom dancing, no bird
calls, and no male kegels.
255
00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:04,346
Can I do my kegels secretly?
Watch this.
256
00:09:04,347 --> 00:09:06,848
You'll never know
I'm doing them.
257
00:09:06,883 --> 00:09:08,484
I can definitely tell.
258
00:09:08,485 --> 00:09:10,018
All right, give me my no-no's.
259
00:09:10,053 --> 00:09:13,889
Okay, no butter-syrup, no
talking about Die Hard...
260
00:09:13,890 --> 00:09:15,391
Okay.
I can do that.
261
00:09:15,392 --> 00:09:17,026
Or Die Hard two
or Die Hard three.
262
00:09:17,027 --> 00:09:18,194
What?
Come on.
263
00:09:18,195 --> 00:09:19,994
So you just want me
to talk about the fourth one?
264
00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:21,563
There's a fourth one?
Charles!
265
00:09:21,598 --> 00:09:23,318
No judging me
for not knowing the Die Hards.
266
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,732
All right, fine. What else?
Okay.
267
00:09:24,768 --> 00:09:26,869
No eating mayonnaise
straight from the jar,
268
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,069
no using my toothbrush.
269
00:09:28,105 --> 00:09:29,305
And that's it.
270
00:09:29,306 --> 00:09:32,007
Jake, this no-no list,
it's a slam dunk.
271
00:09:32,008 --> 00:09:33,007
Oop me.
272
00:09:33,009 --> 00:09:35,144
Ooping.
273
00:09:37,714 --> 00:09:38,913
I'm getting better.
274
00:09:38,949 --> 00:09:40,014
Yeah, you are.
275
00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:41,716
You wanted to see me, sir?
276
00:09:41,751 --> 00:09:43,985
Have a seat, Diaz.
277
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:47,857
You remember my nephew Marcus?
The 31-year-old?
278
00:09:47,858 --> 00:09:49,925
He asked me to ask you
if you are single.
279
00:09:49,926 --> 00:09:52,128
I'm told him I'm not
a third-grade girl
280
00:09:52,129 --> 00:09:53,995
with pigtails
passing love notes.
281
00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:55,697
Yeah, it's so immature.
282
00:09:55,732 --> 00:09:57,198
Precisely.
It's embarrassing.
283
00:09:57,234 --> 00:09:58,901
Agreed.
284
00:09:58,902 --> 00:09:59,901
I am single.
285
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,537
Oh.
286
00:10:01,538 --> 00:10:02,537
I see.
287
00:10:02,539 --> 00:10:06,274
But if Marcus wants my number,
he can ask me for it.
288
00:10:09,613 --> 00:10:13,414
But who will tell him that?
289
00:10:15,819 --> 00:10:17,186
Um, yeah.
290
00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:18,620
You took the last danish.
291
00:10:18,655 --> 00:10:20,021
Oh, sorry.
292
00:10:20,056 --> 00:10:22,491
Did you read Terry's book
about us?
293
00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:24,659
No.
He said not to read it.
294
00:10:26,429 --> 00:10:27,595
Okay, fine, I read it.
295
00:10:27,631 --> 00:10:30,232
My character, cricket,
is such a pushover.
296
00:10:30,233 --> 00:10:31,600
She just lets
all the forest folk
297
00:10:31,601 --> 00:10:33,201
take her magic moose wishes.
298
00:10:33,236 --> 00:10:35,738
Well, june bug
is a stone-cold bitch.
299
00:10:35,739 --> 00:10:39,808
She told all the baby platy-pups
they had weird feet.
300
00:10:39,809 --> 00:10:41,242
Is that how people see us?
301
00:10:41,278 --> 00:10:43,512
Well, you did just steal
that danish out of my hand
302
00:10:43,513 --> 00:10:44,880
and start eating it.
303
00:10:44,881 --> 00:10:46,282
And I let you.
304
00:10:46,283 --> 00:10:47,783
And apologized.
305
00:10:47,784 --> 00:10:49,284
Classic cricket move.
306
00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:52,788
Hey, can I just scootch
in there to the coffee?
307
00:10:52,789 --> 00:10:56,224
You can scootch your ass
back in line.
308
00:10:56,259 --> 00:10:59,827
My coffee needs
are just as important as yours.
309
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,299
What was that all about?
310
00:11:04,301 --> 00:11:07,468
Terry, I try not to judge
people, so I wouldn't know.
311
00:11:07,504 --> 00:11:09,471
Maybe I should
go check on little Amy
312
00:11:09,472 --> 00:11:11,507
and give her
the greatest gift of all...
313
00:11:11,508 --> 00:11:12,907
A hug.
314
00:11:14,511 --> 00:11:16,110
Come on.
315
00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:19,013
Someone use the drop house.
316
00:11:19,049 --> 00:11:20,849
The drop house.
317
00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:23,052
Perfect name
for a porta-potty company.
318
00:11:23,053 --> 00:11:24,320
As soon as we get out of here,
319
00:11:24,321 --> 00:11:26,588
I am taking that
straight to shark tank.
320
00:11:26,623 --> 00:11:28,857
How great is this no-no list?
321
00:11:28,858 --> 00:11:32,260
I mean, we've made it impossible
to annoy each other.
322
00:11:32,295 --> 00:11:35,029
We're gonna make out
with this stakeout.
323
00:11:35,065 --> 00:11:37,766
Mm.
324
00:11:37,767 --> 00:11:40,034
Hey, bud, is rhyming
on your no-no list?
325
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:41,135
No.
326
00:11:41,171 --> 00:11:43,405
Cool, cool.
327
00:11:43,406 --> 00:11:46,975
Just seems pretty close
to reciting poetry.
328
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,776
Yeah, yeah.
But it's different.
329
00:11:48,812 --> 00:11:50,346
Yeah.
It's different.
330
00:11:50,347 --> 00:11:51,547
It's different.
331
00:11:53,683 --> 00:11:55,883
I'm just gonna add it.
332
00:11:55,919 --> 00:11:58,219
Oh, so we can add things now?
333
00:11:58,255 --> 00:11:59,555
Yeah, why not, right?
334
00:11:59,556 --> 00:12:01,456
I mean, we got the time,
and we got the ink.
335
00:12:01,491 --> 00:12:02,790
Everything but the kitchen sink.
336
00:12:02,826 --> 00:12:04,025
What did I just say?
337
00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:05,561
Okay.
That is under Charles.
338
00:12:05,562 --> 00:12:07,096
Sure, sure, sure.
Cool, cool, cool...
339
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:12,033
Good. To the window.
340
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,368
Get back in the window.
341
00:12:16,439 --> 00:12:17,839
What is happening?
342
00:12:17,874 --> 00:12:20,475
I got to do this or the bullet
holes in my butt stiffen up.
343
00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:22,110
No talking about
your butt holes.
344
00:12:24,514 --> 00:12:28,284
Two...
345
00:12:28,285 --> 00:12:29,651
Three...
346
00:12:29,686 --> 00:12:30,752
No pull-ups.
347
00:12:32,822 --> 00:12:33,888
No yoga.
348
00:12:36,426 --> 00:12:37,425
No beatboxing.
349
00:12:37,427 --> 00:12:41,429
No letting it mellow.
350
00:12:41,464 --> 00:12:44,198
No sister act.
351
00:12:44,234 --> 00:12:45,700
No life hacks.
352
00:12:45,735 --> 00:12:48,470
No multi-level
marketing schemes.
353
00:12:48,471 --> 00:12:51,273
No calling legitimate
business ideas "schemes."
354
00:12:51,274 --> 00:12:53,574
No licking fingers
before turning pages.
355
00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:54,609
No impressions.
356
00:12:54,611 --> 00:12:55,710
No tea ceremonies.
357
00:12:55,745 --> 00:12:56,744
No cabbage patch.
358
00:12:56,746 --> 00:12:57,779
No parkour.
359
00:12:57,814 --> 00:12:59,580
No running man...
Movie or the dance.
360
00:12:59,616 --> 00:13:00,682
No unrequested lullaby.
361
00:13:00,717 --> 00:13:03,518
No lady-style towels.
362
00:13:11,498 --> 00:13:13,815
Hey.
No nose hair trimming.
363
00:13:13,816 --> 00:13:15,316
We're here for eight days, Jake.
364
00:13:15,351 --> 00:13:17,084
I don't care.
It's on the list.
365
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,353
Well, I hope you like
nostril bush.
366
00:13:19,389 --> 00:13:21,122
Nostril bush?
367
00:13:21,157 --> 00:13:22,357
All right, no more talking.
368
00:13:22,358 --> 00:13:23,792
No more talking at all.
369
00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:25,460
Fine, I'm putting that
on your list too.
370
00:13:25,461 --> 00:13:26,827
That was talking.
371
00:13:26,863 --> 00:13:27,862
So was that.
372
00:13:27,864 --> 00:13:30,165
Okay, fine.
In three, two, one.
373
00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:31,499
No talking.
Zip it.
374
00:13:44,013 --> 00:13:45,379
Hey, Captain.
375
00:13:45,415 --> 00:13:46,614
How's the operation going?
376
00:13:46,649 --> 00:13:49,150
Great, the beach umbrella
has had nonstop visitors.
377
00:13:49,185 --> 00:13:50,618
"The beach umbrella"?
378
00:13:50,653 --> 00:13:52,853
Bisko's lieutenant
who runs the drop site.
379
00:13:52,889 --> 00:13:54,789
We came up with fun little
nicknames for everyone.
380
00:13:54,824 --> 00:13:56,625
I'm glad you're amusing
yourselves.
381
00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:58,859
People thought you'd be
at each other's throats by now.
382
00:14:00,029 --> 00:14:01,029
Do you need a relief team?
383
00:14:01,030 --> 00:14:03,131
What?
Nuh-uh-uh!
384
00:14:03,132 --> 00:14:04,666
No sassy "nuh-uh-uhs."
385
00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:05,667
What was that?
386
00:14:05,668 --> 00:14:06,834
Uh, nothing.
387
00:14:06,869 --> 00:14:08,403
I just said we don't need
a relief team.
388
00:14:08,404 --> 00:14:09,704
Everything's going great.
Right, Boyle?
389
00:14:09,739 --> 00:14:10,772
Right. So great.
390
00:14:10,773 --> 00:14:12,873
Good.
See you in a couple of days.
391
00:14:12,909 --> 00:14:14,142
Okay, sounds good.
Okay, bye.
392
00:14:14,143 --> 00:14:15,344
Bye-bye now.
Bye. I love you.
393
00:14:15,345 --> 00:14:16,577
What?
394
00:14:23,019 --> 00:14:24,018
Hold the door.
395
00:14:24,020 --> 00:14:25,020
Sorry, sarge.
396
00:14:25,021 --> 00:14:26,154
Maybe if you did more cardio
397
00:14:26,155 --> 00:14:27,623
and less weights,
you'd move faster.
398
00:14:27,624 --> 00:14:28,889
No, no, no, Amy.
399
00:14:28,925 --> 00:14:30,993
We need to be the change
we want to see in the elevator.
400
00:14:30,994 --> 00:14:32,194
Uh-uh.
Door open. Door open.
401
00:14:32,195 --> 00:14:34,762
Door close. Door close.
Door open. Door open.
402
00:14:34,797 --> 00:14:36,497
What is going on with you two?
403
00:14:36,532 --> 00:14:38,599
What's going on with you?
Love.
404
00:14:38,635 --> 00:14:39,701
That's it.
405
00:14:39,702 --> 00:14:42,638
Time for an emergency
stop and talk.
406
00:14:42,639 --> 00:14:43,638
Okay, fine.
407
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,007
You want to know
what's going on?
408
00:14:45,008 --> 00:14:46,441
We read your book.
409
00:14:46,442 --> 00:14:49,177
And you should know
I'm not a pushover.
410
00:14:49,178 --> 00:14:51,613
And I'm not a stone-cold bitch.
411
00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:54,015
I'm a natural,
beautiful presence.
412
00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:57,653
Okay, I'm sorry
these characters look like you,
413
00:14:57,654 --> 00:15:00,422
but that's where
the resemblance stops.
414
00:15:00,423 --> 00:15:03,625
Sure, june bug is a meanie
to the platy-pups,
415
00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:06,060
but she's a sweetheart
to the socktopus.
416
00:15:06,095 --> 00:15:08,163
And cricket is a pushover
417
00:15:08,164 --> 00:15:09,931
when it comes to
magic moose wishes,
418
00:15:09,932 --> 00:15:13,868
but she's very brave
in the dolphin wars.
419
00:15:13,903 --> 00:15:18,807
I guess what I'm saying is,
these stories are nonsense.
420
00:15:18,808 --> 00:15:20,208
I love you guys,
421
00:15:20,209 --> 00:15:22,277
but if you're bringing
something more to my book,
422
00:15:22,278 --> 00:15:24,413
that's on you.
423
00:15:26,315 --> 00:15:27,949
If you hadn't stopped
the elevator,
424
00:15:27,950 --> 00:15:31,219
you could have walked off
after your great speech.
425
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:33,087
Now we all got to sit in it.
426
00:15:34,957 --> 00:15:36,825
Marcus, you leaving?
427
00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:38,059
Come, have breakfast with us.
428
00:15:38,094 --> 00:15:39,928
You're up early.
429
00:15:39,929 --> 00:15:41,228
Okay.
430
00:15:43,966 --> 00:15:47,735
And Detective Diaz is here
as well.
431
00:15:47,770 --> 00:15:49,771
Hey.
432
00:15:49,772 --> 00:15:50,771
Hello, Kevin.
433
00:15:50,807 --> 00:15:52,339
Rosa. Marcus.
434
00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:53,641
Kevin. Uncle Ray.
435
00:15:53,676 --> 00:15:55,711
Marcus.
And cheddar.
436
00:15:55,712 --> 00:15:57,278
Cheddar is also here.
437
00:15:57,313 --> 00:15:58,480
Uh, would you care to join us?
438
00:15:58,481 --> 00:15:59,480
Sure.
439
00:15:59,482 --> 00:16:01,983
Shall we sit?
440
00:16:01,984 --> 00:16:03,651
I don't think...
Sit.
441
00:16:03,686 --> 00:16:06,888
Good, then feel no obligation
to stay, Rosa.
442
00:16:06,889 --> 00:16:08,490
Detective Diaz.
443
00:16:08,491 --> 00:16:11,692
Detective Rosa Diaz
is in my breakfast nook.
444
00:16:11,728 --> 00:16:13,095
So who would like french toast?
445
00:16:13,096 --> 00:16:14,762
I can put a bacon smile on it.
446
00:16:14,797 --> 00:16:16,464
My being here is weird.
447
00:16:16,499 --> 00:16:17,631
This was a bad idea.
448
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:20,535
We shouldn't
see each other again.
449
00:16:21,904 --> 00:16:25,240
Well, Detective Rosa Diaz
has left.
450
00:16:25,241 --> 00:16:26,674
Hmm.
451
00:16:29,712 --> 00:16:31,113
The only food left
in the whole room
452
00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:32,213
is your stupid herring.
453
00:16:32,248 --> 00:16:33,881
Oh, so we're talking now?
454
00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:36,151
Well, I guess so,
since words came out of my mouth
455
00:16:36,152 --> 00:16:37,151
and you heard them.
456
00:16:37,153 --> 00:16:38,687
That's glib.
No being glib.
457
00:16:38,688 --> 00:16:39,687
It's on the list.
458
00:16:39,689 --> 00:16:41,156
I'm so sick of the list.
459
00:16:41,157 --> 00:16:42,723
I don't even know
what "glib" means.
460
00:16:42,759 --> 00:16:43,892
Ask yourself this.
461
00:16:43,893 --> 00:16:45,761
Is it something you can hear
Garfield saying?
462
00:16:45,762 --> 00:16:47,394
If so, it's glib.
463
00:16:47,430 --> 00:16:48,597
So what, you want me
464
00:16:48,598 --> 00:16:50,732
to just be Garfield's owner,
Jon Arbuckle?
465
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:51,967
Think about what you're saying.
466
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,567
He's spineless and bland.
467
00:16:53,603 --> 00:16:55,169
And by the way,
me keeping things light
468
00:16:55,204 --> 00:16:58,172
and being "Garfeldian" is
the only reason we don't fight.
469
00:16:59,675 --> 00:17:00,675
Wrong, baby.
470
00:17:00,676 --> 00:17:02,043
The only reason we don't fight
471
00:17:02,044 --> 00:17:04,613
is because I never say anything
when you annoy me,
472
00:17:04,614 --> 00:17:06,480
which is constantly, baby.
473
00:17:06,516 --> 00:17:07,815
I just let it roll off.
474
00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:09,583
I'm a duck's back, baby.
475
00:17:09,619 --> 00:17:10,885
Stop saying "baby."
476
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:12,554
Charles Boyle
calls people "baby"
477
00:17:12,555 --> 00:17:13,555
when he gets angry.
478
00:17:13,556 --> 00:17:14,755
That's who I am.
479
00:17:14,791 --> 00:17:16,625
And all this is who I am.
480
00:17:16,626 --> 00:17:18,226
And if you don't like
this stuff,
481
00:17:18,227 --> 00:17:19,660
then we shouldn't be friends.
482
00:17:19,695 --> 00:17:20,996
Great.
'Cause guess what?
483
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:22,664
We're not friends.
484
00:17:22,665 --> 00:17:25,367
That's fine with me, baby.
485
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:33,207
Uh-oh.
486
00:17:37,313 --> 00:17:40,215
Well, the operation is blown.
487
00:17:40,216 --> 00:17:42,050
♪ Stake me out tonight ♪
488
00:17:42,051 --> 00:17:43,851
♪ I don't want to let you go
till we catch the guy ♪
489
00:17:43,852 --> 00:17:46,554
Oh, I hate this song.
I stand by it.
490
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,469
Well, I'm gonna
check this stuff back in.
491
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,470
Great. Do it.
492
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,871
Okay.
493
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:53,871
Then we're done.
494
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,006
Yeah, then we're done.
495
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:57,709
Well, well, well.
496
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:01,079
Looks like Boyle's out
and Hitchcock's in.
497
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,247
What do you want to do tonight?
498
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,248
Go to a strip club?
499
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,749
Have dinner with my wife?
500
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:05,984
Are those separate options,
501
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,418
or does she live
at the strip club?
502
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,220
You want to know, you got to go.
503
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,656
Okay.
504
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:13,458
Peralta, thanks to
your basketball mishap,
505
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:14,793
the drop site
has been abandoned,
506
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,694
and Alexei Bisko's
gone to ground.
507
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,196
We told you eight days
was too long for a stakeout.
508
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:21,433
With all due respect, sir,
it wasn't the amount of time.
509
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,701
It's who I was stuck there with.
510
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,602
I could easily have done it
with Scully.
511
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,837
Really?
512
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,706
You would've applied
that cream to his back?
513
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,007
No, I would've put it
on the floor
514
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,108
and let him roll around in it.
515
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,509
This isn't my first rodeo.
516
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:32,611
You need to find Bisko.
517
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,912
You can start
by doing door duty,
518
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,147
see if anyone knows where he is.
519
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,180
Take Boyle.
520
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:39,585
Sir, I'd like to request
a new partner.
521
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:40,652
I can't work with Charles.
522
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,852
We're not friends anymore.
523
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:42,888
"Friends?"
524
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,089
I don't care if you're friends.
525
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,090
This is not a playdate.
526
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:47,792
This is your commanding officer
ordering you to do your job.
527
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,228
Fine, but I hope you
can live with the fact
528
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:52,230
that you're forcing people
to spend time together
529
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:53,865
who would rather not.
530
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,666
I'm fine with that.
531
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,137
Sarge, I need to talk to you
about the kid's book.
532
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:01,173
Seriously?
533
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:03,208
I'm wrapping it right
now, and I need to focus.
534
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,177
Look, I know the story
is nonsense
535
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:08,713
and I'm not a forest nymph
who wears armor pantsuits,
536
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,817
but I think it bothered me
because sometimes
537
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,186
I can be too much of a pushover.
538
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:17,288
To be honest, it felt nice to
stand up for myself this week.
539
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,889
Good for you, Santiago.
540
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,959
I also learned a valuable lesson
from your stupid book.
541
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,795
I learned I'm perfect
the way I am,
542
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,463
and I should never change.
543
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:30,068
This is a symbolic gesture.
544
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:32,971
I'm speaking to you as a
friend, not a Captain.
545
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:36,975
And as your friend, I
have this brassiere
546
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,377
you left behind in Marcus' room.
547
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:47,152
Also, I just wanted you to know,
548
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:50,222
um, I think Marcus
is great, and...
549
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,257
And you're great,
550
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:55,827
and I hope the fact
that you and I work together
551
00:19:55,828 --> 00:20:00,631
won't prevent you from dating
if that's what you want to do.
552
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,701
I might.
553
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,203
But I don't want to
talk to you about it.
554
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:08,472
Perfect, because I'm not
comfortable knowing about it.
555
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:11,809
Great, then let's
never talk about it.
556
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,178
Let's never talk about anything.
557
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,311
Done.
558
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:16,381
This is Bisko's aunt's
apartment.
559
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,616
Maybe she's seen something.
560
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,350
Let's just get this over with.
561
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:25,724
Yes?
562
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:26,991
It's Bisko. Fire escape.
563
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,092
I'll cut him off at the back.
564
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,065
Police! NYPD!
565
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,640
♪ Fatty had it made ♪
566
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:44,009
♪ Like a blade in the sun,
like a push in the bush ♪
567
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,510
Hey!
568
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:46,945
♪ When you got none ♪
569
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,380
♪ Ping pong ♪
570
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:55,654
Alexei Bisko,
you're under arrest.
571
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,122
You okay?
572
00:20:58,124 --> 00:20:59,790
Yeah.
573
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:00,926
Thanks for having my back.
574
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,561
You don't have to thank me.
575
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,796
I've always got your back.
576
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,697
Look, this whole thing
has been so stupid.
577
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,300
Right?
578
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,301
Are we friends again?
579
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,301
No.
580
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,405
We're brothers.
581
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:14,673
Gah, that was terrifying!
582
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:16,073
Don't pause like that.
583
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,643
Look, brothers fight, but
at the end of the day,
584
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:20,044
they're always there
for each other.
585
00:21:20,599 --> 00:21:22,426
My brother had sex with my wife,
586
00:21:22,427 --> 00:21:24,751
and then he ran
to the Florida keys.
587
00:21:24,752 --> 00:21:26,540
One day I'll finish him.
588
00:21:26,541 --> 00:21:28,484
Just be arrested, man.
589
00:21:28,485 --> 00:21:29,934
We're trying to have
a moment here.
590
00:21:29,935 --> 00:21:35,915
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/