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00:00:01,382 --> 00:00:03,190
Peralta, there was a botched B & E
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00:00:03,225 --> 00:00:04,492
at a jewelry store on Atlantic
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that just turned into
a hostage situation.
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They want you to be the negotiator.
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00:00:07,863 --> 00:00:10,197
Oh, my God, my prayers
have finally been answered.
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You prayed for a hostage situation?
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Yes, I did. Every single day.
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I don't understand.
Why isn't ESU handling this?
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Apparently, the hostage-taker
asked for Jake by name.
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Oh, yes, it's getting even cooler.
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Oh, man, I wonder who it is. Ooh!
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Maybe it's the brother
of someone I put away for life.
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Ooh! Or the identical twin of
someone I put away for life.
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- Ooh! Or the fraternal twin of...
- Jake!
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Just get down there! Take Diaz with you.
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Yep. Yep, yep, yep. How do I look?
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It doesn't matter. Let's go negotiate!
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Hey, everyone, I'm here.
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I'm Jake Peralta, the negotiator.
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- Oh, so you're Jake Peralta?
- The negotiator, yes.
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- Who are you?
- Dennis Kole, ESU.
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This was my crime scene
before you bozos got here.
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Nice to meet you too, Dennis.
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I've spent ten years as a negotiator
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and you just took
my first hostage situation.
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All I've done up till now is
talk jumpers off of rooftops.
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But that must be satisfying
in its own way, right?
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Yeah, really satisfying
saving a crazy person's life.
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Whatever. Here's a little advice.
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- I don't like you two.
- Not so much advice
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as it is a hurtful statement
based on limited interaction.
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He wants to talk to you.
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- Get the hell in there.
- Ooh, it says "negotiator" on it.
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This is Jake Peralta.
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I am unarmed
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and I'm approaching the building
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- You wanted to talk to me?
- Keep those hands in the air.
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And wave 'em like you just don't care.
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What?
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I'm just messing with you, Peralta.
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Put your hands down,
give me a hug, baby.
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Judy!
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Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
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Sergeant, a member of
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the Commissioner selection
committee is coming in today
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to tour the precinct
and do some interviews.
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Would you mind speaking with her?
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Of course. Terry loves answering
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the hard questions.
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Oh, here she is.
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I guess you don't have time to take off
those ridiculous suspenders.
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- What?
- Hello, Miss Sumter.
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Hello, Captain.
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I'm excited to speak to you subordinates
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and learn more about
your management style.
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I thought you could talk
to Sergeant Jeffords here.
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Sergeant? Oh, um...
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I'd rather not talk to a supervisor.
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I was hoping to interview
one of your detectives.
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Perhaps, um... him?
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No!
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- Excuse me?
- There was a wasp near me,
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which has since disappeared.
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You can interview Detective Hitchcock
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and I am completely fine with that.
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I gotta admit, man.
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I thought you'd be happy to see me.
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- Why you being so weird.
- Oh, I don't know.
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I didn't sleep well last night,
so I'm probably tired from that.
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Oh, and also,
this is a hostage situation!
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Wow! It's like that.
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Yes, it's like that. What the hell?
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- I thought you went straight?
- I did.
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I'm a high-end car broker now.
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I procure luxury vehicles
for the rich and famous
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and I do it legally.
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Last week I dropped off a Bugatti
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to the kid with the lisp
from "Stranger Things."
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You met Dustin? Was he cool?
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Do him and the rest of the gang
hang out in real life?
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You know what? No.
We are not chatting right now.
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You have three hostages.
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You mean Pam and the two Bobs?
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They not hostages. I prefer to call them
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"collateral friendships."
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I gave 'em each 500 bucks
out of my own pocket.
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- Thanks again, Doug.
- You the man, Doug.
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Actually, I'd rather
still not be a hostage.
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Pam hasn't come around on me yet.
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Tell her I'm a nice person, Jake.
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I'm sorry. Officer, are you
friends with this criminal?
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- No, not really.
- Absolutely, best friends.
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It's a layered relationship, Pam.
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- Best friends.
- Judy, get over here.
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- What is going on, man?
- This isn't my fault.
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Two years ago before I went straight,
I stole a car from a drug dealer.
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- Martin Halloway.
- Oh, no, Judy, he's a bad guy.
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I know. When I realized it was his car,
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I torched it along with the drugs
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that were in the trunk
that I didn't know about.
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Oh, no, Judy. Trunk drugs?
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Millions of dollars of them.
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Halloway just found out it was me.
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Said I had to do a job for him
to pay off my debt.
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But did you tell him you went straight?
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- Did you tell him about Dustin?
- I did.
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He said he doesn't watch
"Stranger Things."
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- Oh, this guy is the worst.
- I know.
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He said he's gonna kill my mom
if I don't do this job.
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He can't do that. I love your mom.
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So do I. That's why I'm here
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stealing this big ole bag of diamonds.
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Jake, you know how dangerous
this dude can be.
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I need you to help me save my mama.
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- Help you how?
- Easy.
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I got a plan that's good for everyone.
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All I need is for you to...
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Let him go so he can arrange
a drop with Halloway.
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We arrest Halloway, save Judy's mom,
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and Judy turns himself in,
and why is that amazing, Rosa?
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- Halloway's a huge crime boss.
- And what else?
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NYPD's been trying
to get Halloway for years.
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- And?
- That's it.
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Yeah, it is. So, since we all agree,
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I'll go tell Judy that the plan is on.
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We don't all agree.
He's trapped and desperate.
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Everything he told you is a lie.
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- Why do you say he's lying?
- That's all negotiating is.
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Two liars lying to each other
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until one liar stands
too close to the window
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and gets shot in the head.
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That can't be all negotiating is.
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It absolutely is. Now, get in there
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and coax him to a window.
Snipers to one.
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The window plan is on. I repeat.
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- The window plan is on.
- No, no, no, no, no!
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Snipers to zero. Snipers take a nap.
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The nap plan is on.
It's nap time, snipers.
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Amy, Gina, you came!
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You think I'd miss
opening day of your food truck?
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00:05:00,356 --> 00:05:02,856
- I'm your biggest fan.
- Also your biggest investor.
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00:05:02,891 --> 00:05:04,958
She was freaking out she was
gonna lose a ton of money.
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I told you that in confidence.
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We don't have that kind of relationship.
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Well, don't worry. I'm feeling good.
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"The One Thing" truck is ready to serve.
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- "The One Thing"?
- Yeah.
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We only serve one thing:
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the perfect meatball sandwich...
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made exactly the way Nana Boyle used to.
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I can't believe this
is finally happening.
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- Ahh!
- Uh, Charles?
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00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,147
Sorry, I'm a bit stressed.
Jason and Jeff,
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the guys I hired to work the truck,
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called in sick so I'm all alone.
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What a fun opportunity.
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Okay, Boyle, stop freaking out.
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I have the day off.
I can step in and help.
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Yeah, me too. I'm not off,
but I come and go as I please.
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It's part of my charm.
I'm like an outdoor cat.
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ESU won't take your deal.
They think you're lying.
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I'm not lying.
I don't wanna be a criminal.
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I love my life as a average citizen.
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I voted for the first time this year.
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- Ed Breakfast for school board.
- Who?
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I don't know. He had a funny name.
He deserves a shot.
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00:05:54,777 --> 00:05:56,310
That's why I voted for Stacy Ladle.
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Anyway, I'm sorry, but
they're not cutting a deal.
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So that's it? I gotta turn myself in
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- and let Halloway kill my mama?
- Actually...
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there might another way
to get this done.
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I've taken your negotiator hostage.
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If you come in here, I will shoot him.
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Just do whatever he says!
My life is in his hands!
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That was so much fun!
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Oh, man, you sounded really scary.
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No, no, it was all you.
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The tremble in your voice sold it.
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- "Just do whatever he wants."
- I just made that up.
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- Ah, I was so in the moment.
- Dude, seriously?
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- You are a great hostage.
- Oh, thanks, Judy.
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You're a great hostage taker. Whoop.
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00:06:34,283 --> 00:06:35,916
Yes, sir.
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I can't believe Peralta
got taken hostage.
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The good news is...
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I'm the negotiator now.
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- Finally.
- Congratulations.
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I've been waiting
for this moment for so long,
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- and...
- I'm ready to negotiate.
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00:06:52,235 --> 00:06:54,674
But I'll only talk to Rosa Diaz.
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00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:56,711
- That's me, Dennis.
- Oh, come on!
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00:06:57,913 --> 00:07:00,447
Okay, I think we're ready
for a practice sandwich.
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00:07:00,482 --> 00:07:02,382
- Sounds good, boss.
- Please call me "chef."
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00:07:02,417 --> 00:07:04,049
That's funny.
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00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,447
- Chef.
- Thank you.
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00:07:07,439 --> 00:07:10,457
Okay, see. The cut is a little slopey.
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00:07:10,492 --> 00:07:12,392
I want you to cut it straight across.
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00:07:12,427 --> 00:07:14,327
No big deal. Again.
199
00:07:14,362 --> 00:07:15,377
Oh.
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00:07:15,997 --> 00:07:17,164
Uhp, slopey.
201
00:07:17,199 --> 00:07:19,102
Don't over think it. Again.
202
00:07:20,569 --> 00:07:22,135
Now you're not thinking enough.
203
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:23,236
Again.
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00:07:23,905 --> 00:07:25,533
Still slopey. Again.
205
00:07:25,807 --> 00:07:26,907
Again!
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00:07:26,942 --> 00:07:28,307
You know what? Why don't we try this:
207
00:07:28,343 --> 00:07:29,543
Why don't you just take that knife,
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00:07:29,578 --> 00:07:30,877
put it to my throat, and finish the job!
209
00:07:30,912 --> 00:07:32,446
- Huh?
- Do I look like Jake to you?
210
00:07:32,481 --> 00:07:33,814
- What?
- Do I look like Jake to you?
211
00:07:33,849 --> 00:07:35,615
- No, not at all.
- Then why are you trying
212
00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:37,617
- to screw me?
- Oh, my God, Charles,
213
00:07:37,652 --> 00:07:39,853
- what is going on with you?
- It's chef.
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00:07:39,888 --> 00:07:41,621
You're not ready for this.
Gina, you're up.
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00:07:41,656 --> 00:07:42,989
Okay, but I'm not calling you chef,
216
00:07:43,024 --> 00:07:45,022
- and you're not yelling at me.
- Mm-hmm.
217
00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:48,462
- There you go.
- Ah, thank you.
218
00:07:48,497 --> 00:07:50,997
No slope! A nice, straight cut!
219
00:07:51,032 --> 00:07:52,532
Thank you.
I felt good 'cause the knife...
220
00:07:52,567 --> 00:07:54,134
But you smushed the bread!
221
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,680
It's too smushy!
222
00:07:56,704 --> 00:07:57,719
Again.
223
00:08:01,476 --> 00:08:04,411
♪ Rosa, Rosa, Rosa ♪
224
00:08:04,446 --> 00:08:06,281
♪ Are you finally single? ♪
225
00:08:06,317 --> 00:08:07,948
- No.
- ♪ I respect that ♪
226
00:08:07,983 --> 00:08:09,783
Now come on in. We gotta talk business.
227
00:08:09,818 --> 00:08:12,472
It's so good to see you. Bring it in.
228
00:08:13,555 --> 00:08:14,854
Doug Judy, you're under arrest.
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00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:16,523
- Wait, Rosa, stop.
- What's going on?
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00:08:16,559 --> 00:08:18,550
All right, look, this is not
really a hostage situation.
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00:08:18,586 --> 00:08:20,219
I mean, Pam and the two Bobs
are definitely being held
232
00:08:20,255 --> 00:08:21,822
against their will,
but not for much longer.
233
00:08:21,858 --> 00:08:23,461
Jake is helping me take down Halloway.
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00:08:23,497 --> 00:08:25,472
- We can't do it without you.
- Seriously, man?
235
00:08:25,508 --> 00:08:27,600
This is like that story my dad
told me as a little kid.
236
00:08:27,636 --> 00:08:28,969
You're the frog and he's a scorpion.
237
00:08:29,004 --> 00:08:30,504
You're gonna help him across the river.
238
00:08:30,539 --> 00:08:32,244
And in the end, he'll sting you,
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00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:34,900
- and then you'll both drown.
- Wow, that's dark.
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00:08:34,936 --> 00:08:36,403
My parents didn't read to me at all.
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00:08:36,439 --> 00:08:37,881
I just watched cartoons
till I fell asleep.
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00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,117
Do you think that our childhoods shape
243
00:08:39,153 --> 00:08:40,547
- the adults we become?
- They do.
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00:08:40,582 --> 00:08:41,982
And cartoons shaped you
into a naive little frog.
245
00:08:42,017 --> 00:08:43,717
Okay, first, little frogs are adorable,
246
00:08:43,752 --> 00:08:45,519
and second, he's not
that kind of scorpion anymore.
247
00:08:45,554 --> 00:08:46,887
I'm a changed bug.
248
00:08:46,922 --> 00:08:48,154
Actually, scorpions are arthropods.
249
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:49,589
Amy made me watch a documentary.
250
00:08:49,624 --> 00:08:51,729
Look, I know he used to be a criminal
and he's fooled me in the past,
251
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,693
and he is currently engaged
in criminal activity.
252
00:08:53,728 --> 00:08:55,262
Innocent until proved guilty.
253
00:08:55,297 --> 00:08:57,297
- But I am doing it.
- Rosa, his mother is in danger
254
00:08:57,332 --> 00:08:59,032
and we have to help her.
255
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,834
Plus, he agreed to turn himself
in when this is all over.
256
00:09:00,869 --> 00:09:02,707
- Right, Judy?
- I promise.
257
00:09:03,827 --> 00:09:04,949
All right.
258
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,087
What do you need from me?
259
00:09:07,123 --> 00:09:08,423
We have an airtight plan.
260
00:09:08,459 --> 00:09:10,243
All we demand is pizza.
261
00:09:10,278 --> 00:09:13,013
Hitchcock, there's a woman
here interviewing detectives
262
00:09:13,048 --> 00:09:14,981
a part of the
Commissioner selection process.
263
00:09:15,016 --> 00:09:16,650
All right, I'll go hide
in the janitor's closet
264
00:09:16,685 --> 00:09:18,476
until this is all over.
Thanks for the heads up.
265
00:09:18,512 --> 00:09:20,620
No, it's too late for that.
She wants to talk to you.
266
00:09:20,655 --> 00:09:22,656
What? No! How could you let this happen?
267
00:09:22,691 --> 00:09:24,758
- I'm nuts!
- Hey, calm down, man.
268
00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:26,393
We just took her
on a tour of the precinct
269
00:09:26,428 --> 00:09:29,062
and how she's at lunch.
That means we have one hour
270
00:09:29,097 --> 00:09:31,598
to teach you how to behave like a human.
271
00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:33,642
Oh, I see.
272
00:09:33,678 --> 00:09:36,336
- You're gonna "My Bare Lady" me.
- "My Bare Lady"?
273
00:09:36,371 --> 00:09:39,551
I'm assuming it's
a "My Fair Lady" porn parody.
274
00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:42,742
Oh, my. We've got our work
cutout for us.
275
00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:44,544
Here's our list of words to avoid:
276
00:09:44,579 --> 00:09:46,813
Chick, foxy, Jew, throb.
277
00:09:46,848 --> 00:09:48,448
Is grundle on the table?
278
00:09:48,483 --> 00:09:50,716
No, it's not on the table.
279
00:09:50,752 --> 00:09:52,118
Practice introducing yourself.
280
00:09:52,153 --> 00:09:54,654
Hello, I'm Detective Michael Hitchcock.
281
00:09:54,689 --> 00:09:56,156
Nice job.
282
00:09:56,191 --> 00:09:58,325
- But why are your hands so wet?
- Trick question.
283
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,794
The answers disgusting,
so I shouldn't tell her.
284
00:10:00,829 --> 00:10:02,729
Just don't have wet hands, man.
285
00:10:02,942 --> 00:10:05,109
Hitchcock, come out.
286
00:10:05,145 --> 00:10:07,078
It's time.
287
00:10:09,337 --> 00:10:11,638
You look incredible.
288
00:10:11,674 --> 00:10:12,733
You bet I do.
289
00:10:12,769 --> 00:10:14,577
These pants really flatter my dong.
290
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,334
What? Dong wasn't on the list.
291
00:10:17,946 --> 00:10:19,179
I cannot believe I didn't know
292
00:10:19,214 --> 00:10:20,513
you and Amy were getting married.
293
00:10:20,548 --> 00:10:22,015
Yeah, well, you're not exactly
294
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,883
- an easy person to find.
- Right, right, right.
295
00:10:23,918 --> 00:10:25,217
I am elusive as hell.
296
00:10:25,253 --> 00:10:28,139
So, is there a La Creuset pot
297
00:10:28,175 --> 00:10:30,123
- on your registry, by chance?
- Of course.
298
00:10:30,158 --> 00:10:31,825
You can cook and serve in them.
299
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:33,827
And it looks amazing on your shelf.
300
00:10:33,862 --> 00:10:35,562
What's your color of preference?
301
00:10:35,597 --> 00:10:36,997
French grey or mineral blue?
302
00:10:37,032 --> 00:10:38,865
Oh, you really do know your Le Creuset.
303
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,133
French grey.
304
00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:41,968
Mineral Blue makes me want to barf.
305
00:10:42,003 --> 00:10:45,005
Consider it gifted.
Also, it would me my honor,
306
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,606
- to sing at your wedding.
- Yeah, I don't think
307
00:10:46,641 --> 00:10:48,575
- that's gonna be possible.
- Oh, I get it.
308
00:10:48,610 --> 00:10:49,876
You're afraid when I open my mouth.
309
00:10:49,911 --> 00:10:51,745
Everyone's gonna
start smushing on sight.
310
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,747
No, I more meant that your
probably still gonna be in jail.
311
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:56,075
Damn, that's right.
I almost forgot. Tell you what.
312
00:10:56,111 --> 00:10:57,417
I'll record you some songs.
313
00:10:57,452 --> 00:10:59,719
"Kiss From a Rose"
really exploits my range.
314
00:10:59,754 --> 00:11:01,434
We have your food.
315
00:11:02,157 --> 00:11:04,424
Why are we sending him in?
One of my men should do it.
316
00:11:04,459 --> 00:11:06,760
It would take two of
your people three trips each
317
00:11:06,795 --> 00:11:08,395
to hold this much food. My guy's a pro.
318
00:11:08,430 --> 00:11:11,161
I've been carrying takeout
since before you were born, son.
319
00:11:11,197 --> 00:11:13,260
Fine, but I wanna know
what's going on in there.
320
00:11:13,568 --> 00:11:15,326
We're putting a camera on him.
321
00:11:18,073 --> 00:11:19,773
You're on camera. No audio.
322
00:11:19,808 --> 00:11:21,207
Thought so. That's why I'm tied up.
323
00:11:21,242 --> 00:11:22,942
Scully, where the pepper flakes?
324
00:11:22,977 --> 00:11:24,878
Will you calm down?
The food's a diversion.
325
00:11:24,913 --> 00:11:26,179
Although, Scully, it is crazy
326
00:11:26,214 --> 00:11:27,647
that you forgot the pepper flakes.
327
00:11:27,682 --> 00:11:28,848
Anyways, you know what to do now.
328
00:11:28,884 --> 00:11:30,864
What I do best. Turn my heart off.
329
00:11:35,223 --> 00:11:37,390
- What just happened?
- Looks like Scully collapsed.
330
00:11:37,425 --> 00:11:38,758
What the hell?
331
00:11:38,793 --> 00:11:40,293
Your man just had a heart attack!
332
00:11:40,328 --> 00:11:41,343
Send an ambulance!
333
00:11:41,996 --> 00:11:43,628
We're coming out.
334
00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:47,000
Something doesn't feel right.
335
00:11:47,035 --> 00:11:48,635
Why is there a sheet over his head?
336
00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:50,203
Because that's not our guy.
337
00:11:50,238 --> 00:11:51,770
- Judy's trying to escape.
- There's no way he could...
338
00:11:51,806 --> 00:11:53,206
All units move on the ambulance now!
339
00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:55,341
- All units...
- Move, move, move!
340
00:11:55,376 --> 00:11:57,042
Nice try, Judy.
341
00:11:58,113 --> 00:11:59,512
- Hi, there.
- Nice work, Dennis,
342
00:11:59,547 --> 00:12:01,815
you just caught a man
having a medical emergency.
343
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,450
Why was there a sheet over his head?
344
00:12:03,485 --> 00:12:06,119
- Couldn't find his pulse.
- Yeah, it's super weak.
345
00:12:06,154 --> 00:12:08,288
We got movement.
Hostages are coming out.
346
00:12:08,323 --> 00:12:09,756
Hostages are coming out!
347
00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:10,924
What the hell is going on?
348
00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:12,726
Does anyone have eyes on Judy?
349
00:12:12,761 --> 00:12:14,494
Where is Doug Judy?
350
00:12:14,529 --> 00:12:17,163
So glad Scully put the
uniforms in with the pizza.
351
00:12:17,198 --> 00:12:18,832
I keep finding hidden pepperonis.
352
00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:21,134
Oh, man, all I got was
a pocket full of lettuce.
353
00:12:21,169 --> 00:12:23,036
Jake, I got you.
354
00:12:23,071 --> 00:12:25,046
Ooh, a garlic knot.
355
00:12:25,363 --> 00:12:26,719
Okay, let's ride.
356
00:12:32,023 --> 00:12:33,041
We'll be safe here.
357
00:12:33,077 --> 00:12:34,791
I know the owner. He'd never turn me in.
358
00:12:34,827 --> 00:12:37,150
Yeah, I have the exact same
relationship with the guy who runs
359
00:12:37,185 --> 00:12:39,218
the laser tag place I love.
I mean, gun range.
360
00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:41,988
Peralta, who you
out here stuntin' for, huh?
361
00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:44,957
I love laser-T.
We gotta go sometime, man.
362
00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:46,392
I was hoping you'd say that.
363
00:12:46,427 --> 00:12:47,927
- I wasn't stunting.
- A little bit.
364
00:12:47,962 --> 00:12:49,262
- A little stunting.
- You stunted.
365
00:12:49,297 --> 00:12:50,996
A little bit.
All right, let's text Halloway
366
00:12:51,032 --> 00:12:53,200
- and set up the drop.
- Okay, yeah.
367
00:12:53,301 --> 00:12:55,434
Got the diamonds. Let's meet.
368
00:12:55,469 --> 00:12:56,836
Done.
369
00:12:56,871 --> 00:12:58,104
Okay, now we wait.
370
00:12:58,139 --> 00:12:59,803
Now we wait.
371
00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:11,517
Kind of weird, sitting silently
372
00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:13,886
in a private karaoke room, not singing.
373
00:13:13,921 --> 00:13:15,054
Yeah, but we're on a mission,
374
00:13:15,089 --> 00:13:16,422
so, you know, gotta stay focused.
375
00:13:16,457 --> 00:13:19,992
True, true, true, true, true, true.
376
00:13:20,027 --> 00:13:21,827
♪ So I wake in the morning ♪
377
00:13:21,862 --> 00:13:23,329
♪ And I step outside ♪
378
00:13:23,364 --> 00:13:25,164
♪ And I take a deep breath ♪
379
00:13:25,199 --> 00:13:27,033
♪ And I get real high ♪
380
00:13:27,068 --> 00:13:29,835
♪ And I scream at the top of my lungs ♪
381
00:13:29,871 --> 00:13:32,372
♪ What's going on? ♪
382
00:13:32,408 --> 00:13:33,836
Uh-oh.
383
00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:35,605
- Halloway.
- Yeah.
384
00:13:35,641 --> 00:13:37,274
The drop is set for 5:00 p.m.
385
00:13:37,511 --> 00:13:39,406
- Let's do this.
- Totally.
386
00:13:39,747 --> 00:13:42,448
Although... that is
an hour and a half from now.
387
00:13:42,483 --> 00:13:44,417
And the drop point is
actually pretty close to here.
388
00:13:44,452 --> 00:13:46,519
So...
389
00:13:46,554 --> 00:13:51,190
♪ And I said hey yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
390
00:13:51,465 --> 00:13:52,848
Order up, chef.
391
00:13:53,116 --> 00:13:54,760
What is this? Why are you making
392
00:13:54,795 --> 00:13:56,762
- six sandwiches at once?
- It's more efficient.
393
00:13:56,797 --> 00:13:58,431
Now we're ready
for the next five customers.
394
00:13:58,466 --> 00:14:00,499
Who gives a hump about efficiency?
395
00:14:00,534 --> 00:14:02,168
The perfect meatball sandwich
396
00:14:02,203 --> 00:14:05,304
is sauced exactly 70 seconds
before being served
397
00:14:05,339 --> 00:14:06,519
to maintain bread integrity.
398
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,741
So sandwich number one will be fine,
399
00:14:08,776 --> 00:14:11,275
but sandwich number six
will be a soggy turd.
400
00:14:11,744 --> 00:14:14,738
Change in menu.
We're serving soggy turds now!
401
00:14:14,774 --> 00:14:16,898
- Get 'em while they're wet.
- Okay, I quit.
402
00:14:17,251 --> 00:14:18,684
Me too. You're insane.
403
00:14:18,719 --> 00:14:21,020
Fine, quit just like Jeff and Jason did.
404
00:14:21,055 --> 00:14:22,555
You told us they got sick.
405
00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:24,690
They got sick of hard work
just like you two!
406
00:14:24,725 --> 00:14:26,626
Get out! You'll never cook
in this town again!
407
00:14:26,661 --> 00:14:28,694
- We're not chefs!
- And you never will be.
408
00:14:30,364 --> 00:14:32,053
Is Hitchcock doing okay?
409
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,433
I think so. Wait.
410
00:14:34,468 --> 00:14:36,379
He's bringing his hand to his face.
411
00:14:36,415 --> 00:14:38,804
Don't pick your teeth.
Don't pick your nose.
412
00:14:38,839 --> 00:14:41,807
Oh, dear, he's going to lick
something off his fingers.
413
00:14:41,842 --> 00:14:44,522
Oh, no, he's stroking his chin.
414
00:14:44,558 --> 00:14:46,008
As if in thought.
415
00:14:46,249 --> 00:14:47,515
Not as if.
416
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:49,088
He is in thought.
417
00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:50,916
Oop, they're looking at us. Act natural.
418
00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:52,985
- Spreadsheet, spreadsheet.
- Crime, crime.
419
00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:54,887
- Precinct, precinct.
- Yeah.
420
00:14:54,922 --> 00:14:56,155
We swept the area.
421
00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:58,024
No sign of Doug Judy or Peralta.
422
00:14:58,059 --> 00:14:59,825
I can't believe that idiot thought
423
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:01,961
he could just waltz in here
and do my job.
424
00:15:01,996 --> 00:15:03,829
It's hard to be a negotiator!
425
00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:06,932
My first 50 jumpers, 49 died.
426
00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:08,433
You only talked down one person?
427
00:15:08,469 --> 00:15:11,223
No, he jumped too, but he landed
on this woman who broke his fall.
428
00:15:11,259 --> 00:15:13,372
She died, but you can't
count that against me.
429
00:15:13,407 --> 00:15:15,308
- I definitely can.
- Yeah, well, save it.
430
00:15:15,343 --> 00:15:17,376
Peralta's the one
who got himself taken hostage.
431
00:15:17,411 --> 00:15:18,778
I don't think he was a hostage.
432
00:15:18,813 --> 00:15:20,913
He's pretty good friends
with that Doug guy.
433
00:15:20,948 --> 00:15:21,942
What?
434
00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:24,463
Diaz, what the hell is going on?
435
00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:26,519
First, a jeweler will come out
and inspect the diamonds.
436
00:15:26,554 --> 00:15:27,853
Then, when he gives the okay,
437
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:28,954
Halloway will come and get them.
438
00:15:28,989 --> 00:15:30,290
And then I'll take him down.
439
00:15:31,092 --> 00:15:33,200
All right, that's the signal.
Here we go.
440
00:15:36,864 --> 00:15:38,197
What's up, dude?
441
00:15:42,436 --> 00:15:43,669
Anybody ever tell you, you look like
442
00:15:43,704 --> 00:15:45,466
the most interesting man in the world?
443
00:15:46,027 --> 00:15:47,265
You get that a lot?
444
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:50,905
Jeez, I get it. We're not friends.
445
00:15:50,941 --> 00:15:52,941
I'll find another bocce ball partner.
446
00:15:53,214 --> 00:15:56,315
There he is. ♪ Halloway, it's your day ♪
447
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:57,616
What's up, Mr. Halloway. How you doing?
448
00:15:57,651 --> 00:15:59,618
Shut up. Give me the diamonds.
449
00:15:59,653 --> 00:16:01,620
Man, I guess the no-small-talk policy
450
00:16:01,655 --> 00:16:03,789
- starts at the top.
- Come on, come on, come on.
451
00:16:03,824 --> 00:16:06,058
- Peralta!
- No, no, no, not now.
452
00:16:06,093 --> 00:16:07,360
I tracked your phone, idiot.
453
00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:08,693
Judy wasn't lying.
454
00:16:08,729 --> 00:16:10,195
That's Halloway. We gotta arrest him.
455
00:16:10,231 --> 00:16:11,764
- Jake, he's running.
- Come on, man.
456
00:16:11,799 --> 00:16:13,566
Only if I get the collar
and 100% of the credit.
457
00:16:13,601 --> 00:16:15,033
Are you negotiating right now?
458
00:16:15,069 --> 00:16:16,502
Always.
459
00:16:16,538 --> 00:16:18,236
Okay, that was actually
a really cool thing to say.
460
00:16:18,272 --> 00:16:20,061
All right, let's do it. Judy, stay here.
461
00:16:20,097 --> 00:16:21,222
Okay.
462
00:16:22,533 --> 00:16:23,632
Stop!
463
00:16:26,414 --> 00:16:28,247
Sorry I ran out on you
at the jewelry store.
464
00:16:28,282 --> 00:16:29,482
I just couldn't let this guys get away.
465
00:16:29,517 --> 00:16:30,850
Look, man, I'm fine with it.
466
00:16:30,885 --> 00:16:32,952
Arresting Halloway's
gonna get me a promotion,
467
00:16:32,987 --> 00:16:35,254
and at the end of the day,
that's what this is all about.
468
00:16:35,289 --> 00:16:38,023
Right, well, that and getting
a major drug lord off the streets.
469
00:16:38,058 --> 00:16:40,393
Let me give you some advice.
I don't care about that.
470
00:16:40,428 --> 00:16:41,861
You know, you should really
look up the word advice.
471
00:16:41,896 --> 00:16:43,328
I think you might be surprised
what you see.
472
00:16:43,431 --> 00:16:45,097
All right, let's bring in Doug Judy.
473
00:16:45,132 --> 00:16:46,532
Oh, no!
474
00:16:47,234 --> 00:16:48,601
Where is he? Doug?
475
00:16:48,636 --> 00:16:50,136
Don't worry. We'll get him.
476
00:16:50,171 --> 00:16:51,337
At least we have Halloway
and the diamonds.
477
00:16:51,372 --> 00:16:52,605
- Doug!
- Wait, why are you
478
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,573
- still calling for him?
- Doug!
479
00:16:54,608 --> 00:16:57,176
Oh, my God, he has
the diamonds, doesn't he?
480
00:16:57,211 --> 00:17:00,312
Doug!
481
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,247
I'm sure Judy didn't run off
with the diamonds.
482
00:17:06,282 --> 00:17:07,782
I bet he's looking for us right now.
483
00:17:07,817 --> 00:17:09,317
You know what, I bet he's
worried that we're in trouble.
484
00:17:09,352 --> 00:17:10,818
I'll just call him
and put his mind at ease.
485
00:17:10,853 --> 00:17:12,994
Dude, he's already gone.
He's not picking up.
486
00:17:13,322 --> 00:17:15,022
- What's up, Peralta.
- Ha!
487
00:17:15,057 --> 00:17:16,357
He did pick up. In your...
488
00:17:16,392 --> 00:17:18,292
- This is good-bye forever.
- No!
489
00:17:18,327 --> 00:17:20,595
Ugh, I can't believe you deceived me.
490
00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:22,230
I can't believe you used
my love for your mother
491
00:17:22,265 --> 00:17:23,765
- against me.
- I love that you love her.
492
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,500
Of course I do. She's a living saint.
493
00:17:25,535 --> 00:17:27,502
Amen. Look, I wasn't lying though.
494
00:17:27,537 --> 00:17:29,597
Halloway was gonna hurt her
and you saved her life,
495
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,372
but then I was all alone
with the diamonds,
496
00:17:31,407 --> 00:17:33,274
next thing I know, I'm hot
wiring a car and driving away.
497
00:17:33,309 --> 00:17:35,510
Oh, but I thought you liked
being a good citizen?
498
00:17:35,545 --> 00:17:37,245
You voted Ed Breakfast for school board.
499
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,480
And he immediately had a sex scandal.
500
00:17:39,515 --> 00:17:41,215
- It was very disillusioning.
- For sure.
501
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,618
Our democracy is crumbling.
But what about your job?
502
00:17:43,653 --> 00:17:45,083
What about Dustin
from "Stranger Things"?
503
00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:46,419
Famous kids are monsters.
504
00:17:46,455 --> 00:17:47,835
You do not wanna meet Young Sheldon.
505
00:17:48,011 --> 00:17:50,701
Really? Ah, that's disappointing.
He was so good in "Big Little Lies."
506
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,593
Wait, no, we are not
talking about this right now!
507
00:17:52,628 --> 00:17:54,162
They could take my badge, Judy!
508
00:17:54,197 --> 00:17:56,384
I guess Rosa was right. I'm scorpion.
509
00:17:56,662 --> 00:17:58,162
Scorpion's gonna scorp.
510
00:17:58,401 --> 00:18:00,168
I'm sorry I can't be the man
you want me to be.
511
00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:01,769
Damn it, stop being so romantic.
512
00:18:01,805 --> 00:18:04,206
Now turn around
and come back to me, you fool?
513
00:18:04,242 --> 00:18:05,730
Hello? Hello?
514
00:18:05,766 --> 00:18:06,948
He's gone.
515
00:18:07,205 --> 00:18:08,651
He broke my heart.
516
00:18:09,645 --> 00:18:11,846
Now's the time where you tell
me everything's gonna be okay.
517
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:14,422
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- You don't know that, Rosa!
518
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,518
Ah, Hitchcock, I just got off
the phone with Anne Sumter.
519
00:18:17,553 --> 00:18:19,487
She said you really helped my candidacy.
520
00:18:19,522 --> 00:18:21,956
- Oh, it's my pleasure, sir.
- You were so professional.
521
00:18:21,991 --> 00:18:24,118
I know. I didn't even fart once.
522
00:18:24,154 --> 00:18:25,715
You're right. I can hold it.
523
00:18:25,751 --> 00:18:27,695
You know, if you can
change for an interview,
524
00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:30,364
- you can change for good.
- Nah, too much work.
525
00:18:30,399 --> 00:18:32,567
But that's not how "My Fair Lady" ends.
526
00:18:32,602 --> 00:18:35,073
Eliza Doolittle doesn't
go back to her old life.
527
00:18:35,109 --> 00:18:36,876
She falls in love with Henry Higgins.
528
00:18:36,912 --> 00:18:39,040
Well, "My Bare Lady,"
is a little different.
529
00:18:39,075 --> 00:18:41,175
It's not Eliza Doolittle
and Henry Higgins.
530
00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:43,845
It's Eliza DooEverybody and Leroy Pipe.
531
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,213
And in the end, they rub...
532
00:18:45,248 --> 00:18:46,814
Nope. We don't need a recap.
533
00:18:46,849 --> 00:18:48,934
- Thank you for your help today.
- Anytime, Captain.
534
00:18:51,187 --> 00:18:52,753
Hey, guys. Uh, can we talk?
535
00:18:52,788 --> 00:18:54,522
Let me guess, you got overwhelmed
536
00:18:54,557 --> 00:18:56,290
and had to use
our six-sandwich technique.
537
00:18:56,325 --> 00:18:58,326
No, my one at a time system
worked perfectly.
538
00:18:58,361 --> 00:18:59,660
- Oh.
- It's just,
539
00:18:59,695 --> 00:19:01,529
making Nana Boyle's meatball recipe
540
00:19:01,564 --> 00:19:03,631
got me thinking a lot about her...
541
00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:05,867
And let me guess,
you realized she'd be ashamed
542
00:19:05,902 --> 00:19:08,336
- of how you acted?
- No, Nana Boyle was a monster.
543
00:19:08,371 --> 00:19:10,071
She once yelled at me so loud,
I fainted.
544
00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:11,288
She was a hateful witch.
545
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:12,807
- She died with no friends.
- And let me guess,
546
00:19:12,842 --> 00:19:15,822
you realized you were acting
just like her and you felt terrible.
547
00:19:16,345 --> 00:19:17,378
- Yes.
- You see, Amy?
548
00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:19,213
You don't do "and let me guess"
549
00:19:19,248 --> 00:19:20,615
until you're sure you're right.
550
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,516
Can you guys forgive me? Please?
551
00:19:22,551 --> 00:19:23,885
Of course, Charles.
552
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,586
But we will never work for you again.
553
00:19:25,621 --> 00:19:28,022
Yeah, that's a smart move.
It's like Jekyll and Hyde.
554
00:19:28,057 --> 00:19:29,657
I can't control when Nana comes out.
555
00:19:29,692 --> 00:19:31,092
Just got off the phone with the brass.
556
00:19:31,127 --> 00:19:32,460
It doesn't look good.
557
00:19:32,495 --> 00:19:33,828
They're still trying to decide
on a punishment
558
00:19:33,863 --> 00:19:35,263
- for your actions.
- Well, did you tell them
559
00:19:35,298 --> 00:19:36,497
I feel so bad I have a tummy ache?
560
00:19:36,532 --> 00:19:37,899
I did. They were unaffected.
561
00:19:37,934 --> 00:19:39,600
They said they could have
justified your tactics
562
00:19:39,635 --> 00:19:41,636
if you'd come away
with Halloway and the diamonds,
563
00:19:41,671 --> 00:19:43,604
but as things stand,
there are no diamonds.
564
00:19:43,639 --> 00:19:45,239
Well, there are some diamonds.
565
00:19:45,274 --> 00:19:46,874
You know, the tops of engagement rings,
566
00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:48,709
diamond mines, but, yes,
I see what you're saying
567
00:19:48,744 --> 00:19:50,945
in regards to these diamonds
and it ruining my career.
568
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,713
You're looking at
a suspension, maybe worse.
569
00:19:52,748 --> 00:19:54,351
Unless you can track down Doug Judy
570
00:19:54,387 --> 00:19:56,684
- and recover those diamonds.
- Can they wait 12 months?
571
00:19:56,719 --> 00:19:58,475
I usually run into him
about once a year.
572
00:19:58,754 --> 00:20:01,515
Wait a minute. What have we here?
573
00:20:02,238 --> 00:20:04,415
I've got this coupon for a private room.
574
00:20:05,628 --> 00:20:07,530
Yes. Right this way.
575
00:20:08,864 --> 00:20:10,887
We already have a song cued up for you.
576
00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:13,901
Judy.
577
00:20:13,936 --> 00:20:16,804
What's up, Peralta?
Thank you so much for coming.
578
00:20:16,839 --> 00:20:20,441
Look, I thought about it
and I did you dirty.
579
00:20:20,476 --> 00:20:22,143
I never meant to cause you any trouble.
580
00:20:22,178 --> 00:20:23,544
Yeah, well, you caused me a lot.
581
00:20:23,579 --> 00:20:25,206
You're talking to a pre-recorded video,
582
00:20:25,242 --> 00:20:27,048
but it's cool.
I know what you're saying.
583
00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:29,183
- I hear you in my heart.
- What am I doing here?
584
00:20:29,218 --> 00:20:31,986
I feel the same way.
You my best friend too.
585
00:20:32,021 --> 00:20:33,587
Look, I'm not coming back.
586
00:20:33,622 --> 00:20:35,222
I started a new life here in San Diego.
587
00:20:35,257 --> 00:20:36,757
Stupid telling me where you are.
588
00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:38,659
Come on, man,
I ain't in no damn San Diego.
589
00:20:38,694 --> 00:20:40,561
Everybody knows that place sucks!
590
00:20:40,597 --> 00:20:41,888
Here's what I wanna say, though:
591
00:20:41,924 --> 00:20:43,965
I'm sorry I won't be at your wedding.
592
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:48,736
But I did record you a CD
of original smush jams
593
00:20:48,771 --> 00:20:50,738
that will consummate the marriage.
594
00:20:50,773 --> 00:20:52,406
It's on the table next to you
595
00:20:52,441 --> 00:20:54,044
along with a little something else.
596
00:20:57,179 --> 00:20:59,013
A French grey Le Creuset pot.
597
00:20:59,048 --> 00:21:00,769
Now look inside it.
598
00:21:00,917 --> 00:21:03,284
The diamonds.
599
00:21:03,319 --> 00:21:05,653
Yes! I cannot believe you actually
600
00:21:05,688 --> 00:21:08,122
- brought them back...
- The diamonds!
601
00:21:08,157 --> 00:21:10,458
- Yeah, mistimed that one.
- No, you're the best.
602
00:21:10,493 --> 00:21:12,593
Look, even though I am a scorpion,
603
00:21:12,628 --> 00:21:16,097
I will never drown
your adorable little frog ass.
604
00:21:16,133 --> 00:21:17,565
So that's what I had to say.
605
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,368
I'm sure I'll see you again
at some point.
606
00:21:20,403 --> 00:21:21,869
Now that coupon you got there,
607
00:21:21,904 --> 00:21:24,024
that's for a full hour
in a private room.
608
00:21:24,540 --> 00:21:27,708
- so...
- So...
609
00:21:27,743 --> 00:21:28,976
♪ I said hey ♪
610
00:21:30,246 --> 00:21:33,147
♪ What's going on? ♪
611
00:21:33,261 --> 00:21:36,261
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