1 00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:03,802 Gobble! Gobble! 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,338 Tommy Gobbler's back and he wants to hear 3 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,707 what you turkeys are thankful for. 4 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,424 - Charles, you gotta stop. - Nah. 5 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,034 I don't gobble understand people. 6 00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,102 - But, Charles... - Gobble. 7 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,197 - Dude. - Gobble. 8 00:00:14,233 --> 00:00:16,617 Gobble, gobble, your tail feather is caught in the gobble door. 9 00:00:16,653 --> 00:00:18,358 Thank you. Gobble... wait, what? 10 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:19,960 (screeches) 11 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:21,753 - Ow. - (groans) 12 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,689 I think your feathers are ripping. 13 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,557 - (fabric ripping) - Gobble. 14 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,359 Gobble. 15 00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:30,329 (upbeat music) 16 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:37,369 (♪♪♪) 17 00:00:42,682 --> 00:00:46,682 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 18 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,090 All right, you know the drill. 19 00:00:49,126 --> 00:00:51,249 We've been living and breathing this operation for years. 20 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,685 It goes down today and we only get one shot. 21 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,998 Thanksgiving 2017, the meeting of the parents. 22 00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:59,268 Our objective is clear. Our parents will laugh, 23 00:00:59,304 --> 00:01:02,072 they will bond, and then when the time is right, 24 00:01:02,108 --> 00:01:03,862 our fathers will share a hug good-bye... 25 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,272 and it will be weird, but in the good way. 26 00:01:06,308 --> 00:01:08,166 Oh, my God. What is that photo? 27 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,801 I did an image search for dad's hugging. 28 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,436 I didn't have a lot of time to put this board together. 29 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,837 Now then, let's review our targets, shall we? 30 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:15,841 First we have the Santiagos: Camila and Victor. 31 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,342 They are traditional, reserved, 32 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:18,810 and like their daughter, controlling. 33 00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,379 I wouldn't say I'm controlling. 34 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,703 I would say I'm Type A. 35 00:01:21,739 --> 00:01:23,473 You should write Type A there instead of controlling. 36 00:01:23,509 --> 00:01:24,983 Vivid example of what we're up against. 37 00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:26,918 Now then, on the other side, we have the Peraltas: 38 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:30,098 Karen and Roger. They are perfectly normal, no known flaws. 39 00:01:30,496 --> 00:01:32,658 All right, fine. My dad's a selfish drunken slut 40 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,009 - and my mom's a flighty weirdo. - This is gonna be a disaster. 41 00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:38,397 I knew you'd say that, which is why we have this. 42 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,898 A list of things they have in common. 43 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,533 We can use it to grease the conversation. 44 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,935 Ooh, convo grease. 45 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,580 This is perfect. 46 00:01:45,616 --> 00:01:48,306 Okay, our dads both golf. Our mom's both paint. 47 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,242 All four of them have hair. 48 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,476 Yeah, but that's bottom of the barrel stuff. 49 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:52,911 We're not gonna have to use that. 50 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,680 Oh, you did a lot of work on this. 51 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,682 - I'm really impressed. - Oh, well, you know, 52 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,950 it's really important to me. I feel like it's a chance 53 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,919 for me to finally have the big family Thanksgiving 54 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,155 - I never got as a kid. - Oh, babe. 55 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:04,489 It's gonna be amazing. 56 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,260 (squeaking) 57 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,828 Are you erasing the word controlling behind my back 58 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,297 - while we kiss? - Mm-hmm. 59 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:14,599 We can keep it in my office until it's time to leave. 60 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,368 What do you have in the pastry box, sir? Brownies? 61 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,860 No, you hold brownies from the side. 62 00:02:17,896 --> 00:02:19,095 He's holding it from the bottom. 63 00:02:19,131 --> 00:02:20,639 True. Maybe it s a cheesecake. 64 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,507 But there's no condensation on the box. 65 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:24,276 - It's room temperature. - Look at the finger spread, 66 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,610 tensing in the shoulders. 67 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,813 He's supporting something dense. 68 00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,449 - (together) It's a pie. - It is a pie. 69 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,585 - Damn, that was impressive. - But this is not just any pie. 70 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,587 It's an English walnut pie from the Cottage Inn 71 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,522 - in Saratoga Springs. - Raymond and I drive 72 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,224 all the way upstate for it every year. 73 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:40,525 It's the finest sweet treat on earth. 74 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,227 Even better than a plain scone. 75 00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:43,479 Wow, that good, huh? 76 00:02:43,515 --> 00:02:45,415 We're bringing it to Kevin's parents' house tonight. 77 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,533 Can't wait. What do you all have planned for Turkey day? 78 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,136 Well, I've got a great Thanksgiving planned. 79 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,304 Nikolaj has taken to food just like his papa, 80 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,640 so I'm making an exotic spread. 81 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,310 If it can fly or swim, we're eating its eggs. 82 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,579 Well, at the Jefford's house, it's not just Thanksgiving, 83 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:03,515 it's also Ava's birthday, so we do it up huge. 84 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,217 I got her a Perry the Parrot. 85 00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:08,419 That's a hot toy. Terry tried ten toy stores. 86 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,255 I guess I'm only one doing this holiday right. 87 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,890 Hitting the open road with my bike. 88 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,593 No family, no friends, no dinner. 89 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,862 - That sounds really dark. - Thank you. 90 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,897 Well, everyone's plans seem lovely. 91 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,532 Oh, Hitchcock and I didn't say ours. 92 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,745 How unfortunate. 93 00:03:22,597 --> 00:03:24,569 Okay, the house is all clean. 94 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:25,871 The wine is in the fridge. 95 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,472 What is this pitcher of gray water? 96 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:30,575 I read an article that said when you wash vegetables, 97 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,644 all the nutrients leech into the water... 98 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,814 and then you can drink it. They call it a super water. 99 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,649 Oh. Well, that's neat. 100 00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,851 I am gonna just hide it right over here. 101 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,286 Dad, you almost ready? 102 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:42,900 The Santiago's are very punctual? 103 00:03:42,936 --> 00:03:44,869 I'm already out of the shower. 104 00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:46,458 - Chill, bro. - Don't call me bro. 105 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,226 - I'm your son. - Okay, dude. 106 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,861 - Dude is not an improvement. - (doorbell rings) 107 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,730 - Oh, boy, they're here. - Oh, now, honey, 108 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,366 I know you're nervous, but it's gonna be fine. 109 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,867 We can handle ourselves. 110 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,837 Hola. Feliz Thanksgiving. 111 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,739 Jake told me you were Cuban. 112 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,541 Yes, I did, and I regret it. Come on in. 113 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,876 So nice to finally meet you. I'm Victor. 114 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,912 - And I'm Camila. - Oh. 115 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,880 - And you brought a turkey? - Sure did. 116 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,649 Even though I told her that you were making the turkey, 117 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,517 and all she needed to bring was stuffing. 118 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,387 The stuffing's inside it and now we have two turkeys, 119 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,856 - just in case. - In case of what? 120 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,724 I don't know. (laughs awkwardly) 121 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,726 Anyway, it was in the car when she picked me up. 122 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,728 - Isn't that fun? - The most fun. 123 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,297 Why don't we just get comfortable. 124 00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,332 - My dad is just... - Hey, Kare-bear, 125 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:28,767 - which pants do you think... - Dad! 126 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,636 - Honey. - The Santiagos are here. 127 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:34,762 Feliz Thanksgiving. How was the trip in? 128 00:04:34,798 --> 00:04:36,107 The flight must have been awful. 129 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,642 - Hey, Dad? - This holiday is the worst. 130 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,344 Could we just press pause on that and maybe get some pants? 131 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,179 Fine. I'll put on some pants. 132 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:42,437 Thanks. 133 00:04:43,037 --> 00:04:45,249 Squad, bullpen, now. 134 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,252 - Is everything okay, sir? - No, it is not. 135 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,222 I went to a meeting and when I returned, 136 00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:51,523 my pie was gone. Which one of you took it? 137 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,758 Calm down, there's no need to point fingers. 138 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,175 At us. It was clearly Hitchcock and Scully. 139 00:04:56,211 --> 00:04:58,153 How dare you. You have no proof. 140 00:04:58,189 --> 00:04:59,669 There's crumbs all over your desks. 141 00:04:59,705 --> 00:05:01,399 Well, these aren't pie crumbs. 142 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:04,135 Bread, cookie, pizza, sandwich, blintz, 143 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,605 and one good old fashioned potato chip. 144 00:05:07,427 --> 00:05:09,861 No pie here. I just humiliated you. 145 00:05:09,897 --> 00:05:11,597 Look, this doesn't have to be a big deal. 146 00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:13,245 Whoever took that pie, come forward... 147 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,942 and all will be forgiven. 148 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,516 Smart. You knew I would never forgive you. 149 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:21,486 But you're dumb if you think I won't get to the bottom of this. 150 00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:24,289 Everyone here is a suspect. 151 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,690 Okay, not off to a great start. 152 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,459 My mom brought a passive-aggressive turkey 153 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,160 and we all saw your dad's penis through his undies. 154 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,852 What? You did? Why were you looking? 155 00:05:30,888 --> 00:05:32,904 No, I wasn't. It all happened so fast. 156 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:35,467 Hey, everyone, I'm sorry for not being "dressed." 157 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,669 I didn't think you guys were gonna be so early. 158 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,467 We arrived at the agreed upon time. 159 00:05:39,503 --> 00:05:41,831 Right. So, like, super early. 160 00:05:41,867 --> 00:05:43,408 Convo grease. Convo grease them right now. 161 00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,943 Yes. Mrs. Peralta, 162 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:48,280 I love this new ceramic that you painted. 163 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,681 You know, my mom paints as well. 164 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,283 - Really? - Yes. 165 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,418 - I paint on canvases though. - Oh. 166 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,287 - And that's different? - Very. 167 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,188 - Completely. - I just always found canvas 168 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,590 to be too restricting. 169 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:02,327 For me with bowls and vases and furniture, 170 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,762 the world is my canvas. 171 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,398 Yes, and for me, with canvas, 172 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,366 the canvas is my canvas. 173 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,869 - She said "canvas" so much. - Who wants to hear a joke? 174 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,804 Do you mean like a riddle? 'Cause I love riddles. 175 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:16,105 No, I mean like a joke joke, where I say it and you laugh. 176 00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:17,240 No, then I'm not interested. 177 00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:19,644 Oh. Well... golf. 178 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,580 Yes, golf. Anyone hit the links lately? 179 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,505 - I don't play golf. - What are you talking about? 180 00:06:24,541 --> 00:06:25,917 You played it all the time when I was a kid. 181 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,486 - Never played golf in my life. - Jake, your remembering 182 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,255 when he used to pretend to golf 183 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,324 so that he could spend his Sunday's cheating on me. 184 00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:34,459 - Ah. - Oh, yeah. 185 00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:36,261 - Oops. - But it's okay now. 186 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,929 We're happy, we're back together... 187 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,464 - We're cool. - And, you know, 188 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,333 all relationships have rough patches. 189 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,250 - Right, Camila? - No. 190 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,758 - Jake. - Hair. 191 00:06:47,487 --> 00:06:50,375 We all have hair. 192 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,443 Mm. 193 00:06:54,919 --> 00:06:55,953 Okay, this is bad. 194 00:06:55,989 --> 00:06:57,238 None of the convo grease worked. 195 00:06:57,273 --> 00:06:59,173 We need a new plan. There's gotta be some way 196 00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:00,841 - to make them get along. - Maybe we could play a game. 197 00:07:00,877 --> 00:07:03,599 No. No games. My dad gets super competitive. 198 00:07:03,635 --> 00:07:06,414 He used to flip out on me when I beat him at Adult Clue. 199 00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:08,318 It was the only board game he had at his condo. 200 00:07:08,354 --> 00:07:09,833 All the murder weapons were sex toys. 201 00:07:09,869 --> 00:07:11,299 Oh, okay. You know what? 202 00:07:11,335 --> 00:07:13,413 Actually, my dad is super competitive too. 203 00:07:13,449 --> 00:07:16,267 It's bad. He got kicked off a bird watching tour once. 204 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,417 - Look a kingfisher. - No, no, no, no, no. 205 00:07:18,453 --> 00:07:20,449 That's the same bird I saw earlier. 206 00:07:20,485 --> 00:07:21,725 That doesn't count. 207 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:25,632 Yikes. All right, so it's agreed. We steer clear of all competition. 208 00:07:25,668 --> 00:07:27,153 Why can't there be some magic potion 209 00:07:27,189 --> 00:07:29,639 that makes everyone happy and have fun all the time?? 210 00:07:31,193 --> 00:07:33,536 Who wants some alcohol? 211 00:07:33,981 --> 00:07:35,775 - (camera clicks) - Thank you very much, David. 212 00:07:35,811 --> 00:07:36,868 That'll be all. 213 00:07:39,214 --> 00:07:41,408 There are no prints on the box, no DNA evidence, 214 00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:43,633 and the security camera in my office was obscured, 215 00:07:43,668 --> 00:07:45,335 which means whoever took my pie 216 00:07:45,370 --> 00:07:46,936 thought it through. And that means... 217 00:07:46,972 --> 00:07:48,204 It wasn't Hitchcock and Scully. 218 00:07:48,239 --> 00:07:49,238 Exactly. 219 00:07:49,274 --> 00:07:51,274 Now, as for you three, 220 00:07:51,309 --> 00:07:53,276 I think it's time we had a little chat. 221 00:07:53,311 --> 00:07:54,877 How long you been planning this? 222 00:07:54,913 --> 00:07:57,213 A day? A week? A year? 223 00:07:57,248 --> 00:07:59,649 Or is this the only reason you joined the force to begin with? 224 00:07:59,684 --> 00:08:02,785 So you think I became a cop just so I can steal your pie? 225 00:08:02,821 --> 00:08:05,188 Your words not mine. 226 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,456 No, don't tell me why you did it. 227 00:08:06,491 --> 00:08:08,725 - Tell him. - You want me to talk to 228 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,660 this picture of your husband? 229 00:08:10,695 --> 00:08:12,762 Look him in the eye and tell him what you did. 230 00:08:12,797 --> 00:08:15,598 - I didn't do it, Kevin. - Don't you say his name. 231 00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:17,166 No, Terry, I'm not mad at you. 232 00:08:17,202 --> 00:08:18,368 I know you didn't mean to do it. 233 00:08:18,403 --> 00:08:20,203 You just got hungry, 234 00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:21,671 and that's the most natural thing in the world. 235 00:08:21,706 --> 00:08:24,440 - I didn't take your pie. - You're lying! 236 00:08:24,476 --> 00:08:26,376 If you're so innocent, where were you 237 00:08:26,411 --> 00:08:28,344 - when the pie went missing? - I was at the grocery store 238 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:30,179 buying goose feet for Nikolaj's dinner. 239 00:08:30,215 --> 00:08:32,148 I was getting the oil changed in my bike. 240 00:08:32,183 --> 00:08:33,750 Preparing for my solo Thanksgiving ride. 241 00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:35,017 I was at the gym. 242 00:08:35,053 --> 00:08:38,621 Ava's birthday/Thanksgiving dinner's a high-caloric affair. 243 00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:40,356 Terry needs to earn that feast. 244 00:08:40,392 --> 00:08:43,526 Everybody has an alibi. How convenient. 245 00:08:43,561 --> 00:08:47,363 So I hope you're comfortable because I will keep you in here 246 00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:49,799 - all day if necessary! - (knocks on door) 247 00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:51,534 We need the room to question someone 248 00:08:51,569 --> 00:08:53,302 - about the Red Hook homicide. - Oh, no problem. 249 00:08:53,338 --> 00:08:56,639 - We'll be right out. - Okay, we are one glass in. 250 00:08:56,674 --> 00:08:58,408 My mom's telling a story about my birth... 251 00:08:58,443 --> 00:09:00,443 and your parents are not recoiling. 252 00:09:00,478 --> 00:09:02,946 Good. Let's keep it going. I think we need to top 'em off. 253 00:09:03,181 --> 00:09:04,414 A-top them off. 254 00:09:04,449 --> 00:09:06,282 Every night I'm told what to do 255 00:09:06,317 --> 00:09:08,184 and every morning I do what I'm told, 256 00:09:08,219 --> 00:09:10,420 but yet I cannot escape your scold. 257 00:09:10,455 --> 00:09:13,289 What am I? An alarm clock. 258 00:09:13,324 --> 00:09:16,592 Oh, I get it. So a riddle is just like a fact 259 00:09:16,628 --> 00:09:18,294 that's told in a really confusing way. 260 00:09:18,329 --> 00:09:20,696 - Exactly. - Hey, I used to fly 261 00:09:20,732 --> 00:09:23,599 - with Sully Sullenberger. - What he did was amazing. 262 00:09:23,635 --> 00:09:26,269 Between us, I could have landed that plane on the ground 263 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:29,172 at the destination without killing any of those birds. 264 00:09:29,207 --> 00:09:30,807 (laughter) 265 00:09:30,842 --> 00:09:32,875 - (scatting) - Is my dad playing piano? 266 00:09:32,911 --> 00:09:34,544 And is my dad scatting? 267 00:09:34,579 --> 00:09:36,746 (scatting continues) 268 00:09:36,781 --> 00:09:38,314 - This is amazing. - Oh, my. 269 00:09:38,349 --> 00:09:39,882 Who wants more wine? 270 00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:41,651 No, no, no, no, no more for me. 271 00:09:41,687 --> 00:09:43,871 In fact, I think everyone here has had enough. 272 00:09:43,907 --> 00:09:45,321 - We have? - Yes. 273 00:09:45,356 --> 00:09:48,091 - (paper crinkling) - Now we're drinking this. 274 00:09:48,660 --> 00:09:50,359 Rum from Cuba. 275 00:09:50,395 --> 00:09:53,429 - (cheers and applause) - Rum from Cuba! 276 00:09:53,465 --> 00:09:55,264 I saw what you did this morning 277 00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,333 when you deduced the contents of my bakery box. 278 00:09:57,368 --> 00:09:59,836 Impressive. Now I need to use your skills 279 00:09:59,871 --> 00:10:01,504 to find my pie. 280 00:10:01,539 --> 00:10:03,172 It's about time you came to us. 281 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:05,485 Here's what we need from you. A list of the pie's ingredients. 282 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,043 We're looking for anything that might linger 283 00:10:07,079 --> 00:10:09,260 - on someone's breath. - We need surveillance footage 284 00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:11,689 from the water fountain, the crumb consistency was dry. 285 00:10:11,725 --> 00:10:12,986 Whoever ate it's gonna be thirsty. 286 00:10:13,022 --> 00:10:14,650 Now what kind of crimped edge are we dealing with here? 287 00:10:14,686 --> 00:10:16,686 - U-shaped or V? - I don't know. 288 00:10:16,721 --> 00:10:18,588 Well, then get on the damned phone 289 00:10:18,623 --> 00:10:20,399 and find out. 290 00:10:21,593 --> 00:10:22,892 (laughter) 291 00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:24,861 Babe, our parents are vibing hard. 292 00:10:24,896 --> 00:10:27,515 Drinking just makes people get along better. 293 00:10:27,551 --> 00:10:29,606 Do you think if I got my parents drunk every day when I was a kid 294 00:10:29,642 --> 00:10:31,434 they would have stayed together and we would have had a happy family? 295 00:10:31,469 --> 00:10:33,202 - Probably. Yeah. - Right. Yeah. 296 00:10:33,238 --> 00:10:35,172 - (chimes glass) - I'd like to say a few words. 297 00:10:35,208 --> 00:10:38,760 Camila and I thrilled to welcome you into our family, 298 00:10:38,796 --> 00:10:42,778 so allow me to be the first to bless this union with a toast. 299 00:10:42,814 --> 00:10:45,815 - To Jake and Amy. - ALL: To Jake and Amy. 300 00:10:45,850 --> 00:10:47,583 Aww, thanks, Dad. That was really sweet. 301 00:10:47,619 --> 00:10:49,552 - I have a toast too. - Oh. 302 00:10:49,587 --> 00:10:53,356 Karen and I would like to welcome you into our family. 303 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:57,560 And allow me to be the first to say that we love you. 304 00:10:57,595 --> 00:10:59,428 To Jake and Amy. Congratulations. 305 00:10:59,464 --> 00:11:00,897 ALL: To Jake and Amy. 306 00:11:00,932 --> 00:11:02,465 - Thanks, Dad. - I'd like to go again. 307 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,866 Uh-oh, they're getting competitive. 308 00:11:03,902 --> 00:11:05,635 It goes without saying, I love you both. 309 00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:08,171 - But you didn't say it. - I'd just like to add, 310 00:11:08,206 --> 00:11:10,173 if there's anything you ever need, 311 00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:11,908 the Santiago's are here for you. 312 00:11:11,976 --> 00:11:13,843 - To Jake and Amy. - Round two. 313 00:11:13,878 --> 00:11:15,578 Oh, that seems like plenty, Dad. 314 00:11:15,613 --> 00:11:16,746 No, if Victor gets two toasts, 315 00:11:16,781 --> 00:11:18,548 - then I do too. - (sighs) 316 00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:20,683 I would like to go one step further and say that 317 00:11:20,718 --> 00:11:24,287 if there is anything that you need or want 318 00:11:24,722 --> 00:11:26,455 the Peralta's are there for you. 319 00:11:26,491 --> 00:11:28,191 That doesn't sound like a better offer than mine. 320 00:11:28,259 --> 00:11:29,725 Yeah, it is. 321 00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:31,260 (stammers) It's a lot better than yours. 322 00:11:31,296 --> 00:11:32,390 Jake... 323 00:11:33,432 --> 00:11:35,531 I'll give you my grandfather's watch. 324 00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:37,200 You are now a Santiago. 325 00:11:37,235 --> 00:11:38,734 I would like to pay for the wedding. 326 00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:40,403 Amy, you are now my daughter. 327 00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:41,804 - ALL: What? - I win. 328 00:11:41,839 --> 00:11:43,472 To Jake and Amy. 329 00:11:43,508 --> 00:11:45,841 Oh, no. There are downsides to alcohol. 330 00:11:49,255 --> 00:11:52,700 Well, that was a lovely series of toasts, 331 00:11:52,736 --> 00:11:54,903 Now who can I interest in 12 cups of coffee? 332 00:11:54,939 --> 00:11:57,297 No, I'd like to know what Roger meant 333 00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:58,707 when he said he would pay for the wedding. 334 00:11:58,743 --> 00:12:00,313 How much are you willing to give them? 335 00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:02,282 - Whatever they need. - You know it's tradition 336 00:12:02,318 --> 00:12:04,146 - for the bride's family to pay. - It's also tradition 337 00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:05,648 for the host to make the turkey. 338 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,750 - Okay, guys... - Bottom line is, 339 00:12:07,785 --> 00:12:09,852 we appreciate the offer, but we're paying. 340 00:12:09,887 --> 00:12:12,221 No, you gave him the watch. That was your gift. 341 00:12:12,256 --> 00:12:13,974 Maybe we should just split the wedding. 342 00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,376 It's a great idea, Mom. 343 00:12:15,412 --> 00:12:17,159 Given your financial situation. 344 00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,061 - No. - What's that supposed to mean? 345 00:12:19,096 --> 00:12:20,996 Our financial "situation"? 346 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,798 You know, I think we probably all had 347 00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:24,767 just about enough of this delicious rum. 348 00:12:24,802 --> 00:12:26,135 I'm gonna dump it out into this plant. 349 00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:27,836 - (gasps) - That's a $600 bottle. 350 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,506 $527. I looked it up online. 351 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:33,742 If you paid $600, you're making some bad choices, my friend. 352 00:12:33,778 --> 00:12:37,780 All right, it's dinner time. Everybody go wash your hands. 353 00:12:37,815 --> 00:12:39,748 I'd never said that before. Amy, you come with me. 354 00:12:39,784 --> 00:12:41,550 (exhales sharply) This is a nightmare. 355 00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,552 This is worse than my sixth birthday party 356 00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,220 when I caught my dad making out with a female clown... 357 00:12:45,256 --> 00:12:47,222 in the bounce house. Oh, my dad is the worst. 358 00:12:47,258 --> 00:12:49,124 I know. He's ruining the whole day. 359 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,144 (sighs) Yeah, but, you know, 360 00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:53,462 don't just blame my dad. 361 00:12:53,497 --> 00:12:54,797 You literally just said he's the worst. 362 00:12:54,832 --> 00:12:56,253 I know. It's okay when I say it. 363 00:12:56,289 --> 00:12:57,998 You have to pretend like he's cool. Those are the rules. 364 00:12:58,034 --> 00:12:59,027 Plus, you gotta admit, 365 00:12:59,063 --> 00:13:01,203 your parents were being a little condescending. 366 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,105 Why? Because they asked what was in the dip 367 00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:05,107 - that seemed to be just mayo? - All dip is just mayo. 368 00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:07,576 Yes, but no, what I was referring to was the fact that 369 00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:09,612 your mom brought her own hand towels. 370 00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:11,080 As if my mom wouldn't have washed hers knowing 371 00:13:11,115 --> 00:13:12,781 - they had guests coming over? - Did she? 372 00:13:12,817 --> 00:13:14,516 No, you don't have to. 373 00:13:14,552 --> 00:13:15,818 They're only touched by freshly cleaned hands. 374 00:13:15,853 --> 00:13:17,252 - They never get dirty. - Wow. 375 00:13:17,288 --> 00:13:18,721 The unhygienic apple doesn't fall far... 376 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,122 from the unhygienic tree. 377 00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:21,590 Did you just call my mom a tree? 378 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:22,825 I called her an unhygienic tree. 379 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,544 Wow. Wow. 380 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,919 All right, you know what? 381 00:13:27,665 --> 00:13:29,031 Let's just go back in there 382 00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:30,966 and enjoy our joyous Thanksgiving 383 00:13:31,002 --> 00:13:33,469 and hopefully no one's parents will ruin it. 384 00:13:33,504 --> 00:13:34,970 Fine. Well, I know that my parents 385 00:13:35,006 --> 00:13:36,572 aren't gonna ruin any joyousness. 386 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,173 In fact, they're gonna be joyous as hell. 387 00:13:38,209 --> 00:13:40,716 Not nearly as joyous as my parents. 388 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,078 Thank you, all, for joining me. 389 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,513 I checked into your alibis. 390 00:13:44,548 --> 00:13:46,015 Or should I say... 391 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:47,816 alib-lies! 392 00:13:47,852 --> 00:13:49,885 Diaz, if you were changing the oil in your bike 393 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,887 for your big ride up the coast, then tell me, 394 00:13:51,922 --> 00:13:54,456 why is your tank only half full? 395 00:13:54,492 --> 00:13:57,159 - You dipsticked my bike? - That's not all I dipsticked. 396 00:13:57,194 --> 00:13:59,628 Mr. Fit, or should I call you by your real name? 397 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:02,097 Mr. Fib. I find it quite odd... 398 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,799 that you were building up an appetite at the gym 399 00:14:03,834 --> 00:14:06,702 when your gym is closed on Thanksgiving. 400 00:14:06,737 --> 00:14:08,704 And, Boyle, out buying goose feet 401 00:14:08,739 --> 00:14:10,105 - for Nickolaj? - Nikolaj. 402 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,107 I found your grocery store receipt. 403 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,877 No feet of any kind. But there was one purchase, 404 00:14:14,912 --> 00:14:17,780 a beverage that pairs perfectly with pie. 405 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:20,149 One gallon of milk! 406 00:14:20,184 --> 00:14:21,917 This heist took three people. 407 00:14:21,952 --> 00:14:25,220 Lady Dipstick, Mr. Fib, and the Milk Man. 408 00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:28,524 The jig is up. Confess. 409 00:14:28,852 --> 00:14:30,217 - Okay, I lied. - Thank you. 410 00:14:30,253 --> 00:14:31,794 Not about the pie. About my Thanksgiving. 411 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,929 I'm not spending it alone. I'm spending it with my family. 412 00:14:33,964 --> 00:14:36,145 We're seeing the new "Minions" musical on Broadway. 413 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,734 And I wasn't putting oil in my bike. 414 00:14:38,769 --> 00:14:41,670 I was picking up these matching T-shirts for my whole family. 415 00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:43,472 - (gasps) - I missed my family a lot 416 00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:45,400 when I was in prison and we've gotten really close again. 417 00:14:45,436 --> 00:14:47,302 I was embarrassed about how pumped I am to see them. 418 00:14:47,338 --> 00:14:48,977 The T-shirts were my idea. 419 00:14:49,319 --> 00:14:51,753 Okay. It was a two-man job. 420 00:14:51,789 --> 00:14:53,722 No, I didn't steal your pie either. 421 00:14:53,758 --> 00:14:56,552 I lied about the gym because I was still trying to find 422 00:14:56,587 --> 00:14:58,386 a Perry the Parrot for Ava. 423 00:14:58,422 --> 00:15:00,055 I forgot it was her birthday coming up 424 00:15:00,091 --> 00:15:03,395 and by the time I realized, the dumb toy was all sold out. 425 00:15:03,627 --> 00:15:05,594 I just didn't want you guys to know 426 00:15:05,629 --> 00:15:07,796 what a horrible dad I really am. 427 00:15:07,832 --> 00:15:09,631 Well, now we do. Boyle? 428 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:11,580 (crying) Nikolaj is a picky eater! 429 00:15:11,616 --> 00:15:14,870 I lied about his pallet. All he drinks is milk. 430 00:15:14,905 --> 00:15:17,439 All he eats is buttered noodles. 431 00:15:17,475 --> 00:15:19,541 - And perhaps my walnut pie? - I wish. 432 00:15:19,577 --> 00:15:23,011 He hates nuts. My son is a basic bitch. 433 00:15:23,412 --> 00:15:25,112 So none of you took my pie. 434 00:15:25,148 --> 00:15:27,216 Captain, you're gonna wanna see this. 435 00:15:27,251 --> 00:15:29,051 Their desks were clean, 436 00:15:29,086 --> 00:15:31,687 so we expanded the search radius. 437 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:32,988 Take a look. 438 00:15:33,023 --> 00:15:34,923 My pie, and it wasn't even eaten. 439 00:15:34,959 --> 00:15:37,860 Just thrown away like common street trash. 440 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,596 Makes me sick. Spend your life on the force, 441 00:15:40,631 --> 00:15:42,464 and it never gets easier. 442 00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:44,967 Wow, Mom, what a delightful dinner. 443 00:15:45,002 --> 00:15:46,802 I mean, these have gotta be the most joyous green beans 444 00:15:46,837 --> 00:15:49,505 - I've ever seen. - Oh, thanks, honey. 445 00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:51,507 - They're pre-made from a can. - Great. 446 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,609 Shall we carve the turkey? Get this dinner started? 447 00:15:53,644 --> 00:15:56,443 I'm an excellent carver. Allow me. 448 00:15:56,479 --> 00:15:57,549 I think I can carve the turkey. 449 00:15:57,585 --> 00:15:58,884 After all, it is my house 450 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,582 and sitting right here in front of me. 451 00:16:00,618 --> 00:16:02,417 We have two turkeys. 452 00:16:02,453 --> 00:16:05,087 - You can both carve one. - Yes, thank goodness 453 00:16:05,122 --> 00:16:07,856 for the second turkey, a very normal thing to have brought. 454 00:16:07,892 --> 00:16:10,492 This is actually very good because now everybody could see 455 00:16:10,528 --> 00:16:13,020 - who cuts the turkey better. - You're on. 456 00:16:13,631 --> 00:16:15,764 - Wow. Really mature. - You're just saying that 457 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,214 because you know my dad's gonna win. 458 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,117 - As if. - Hey, Roger, 459 00:16:19,153 --> 00:16:20,996 You like jokes. Here's one. 460 00:16:21,032 --> 00:16:23,035 I'd hate to be a passenger on one of your flights 461 00:16:23,071 --> 00:16:24,963 if you fly as slow as you cut a turkey. 462 00:16:24,999 --> 00:16:27,557 Riddle me this, Victor. Who sucks at carving turkey, 463 00:16:27,593 --> 00:16:29,437 thinks their rum is good when it's bad? 464 00:16:29,473 --> 00:16:31,227 You. Up top, Jake. 465 00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:32,881 - Joyous. - Uh, Camila, 466 00:16:32,917 --> 00:16:34,883 did you put your stuffing in my ceramic? 467 00:16:34,919 --> 00:16:37,486 - I thought it was a bowl. - It's art. 468 00:16:37,522 --> 00:16:39,481 - (speaking Spanish) - What does that mean? 469 00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:41,367 - What did she say? - She said it was a bowl. 470 00:16:41,403 --> 00:16:42,951 Bet you didn't know I understood Spanish. 471 00:16:42,987 --> 00:16:45,594 Very impressive. You learn that from one of your mistresses? 472 00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:48,412 Yeah. As a matter of fact, I did. Sounds like someone's jealous. 473 00:16:48,448 --> 00:16:51,234 - I bet you never even had sex. - Oh, I've had sex. 474 00:16:51,270 --> 00:16:53,210 And I'm actually pretty good. Camila? 475 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,099 - The best. - What is happening right now? 476 00:16:55,135 --> 00:16:57,001 Roger's really good at sex too. 477 00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:59,435 - Ha, ha, I'm so grossed out. - You know what? 478 00:16:59,471 --> 00:17:03,338 I'm sick of you looking down your nose at us. 479 00:17:03,374 --> 00:17:05,026 I know the Peralta's aren't perfect, 480 00:17:05,062 --> 00:17:06,899 but we don't look down on other people. 481 00:17:06,935 --> 00:17:09,347 I mean, you come into our home and you act like we're idiots. 482 00:17:09,383 --> 00:17:11,011 Well, we're not idiots. In fact... 483 00:17:11,047 --> 00:17:12,920 - I just cut my thumb off. - What? 484 00:17:12,956 --> 00:17:14,355 I just cut my thumb off. 485 00:17:14,391 --> 00:17:15,858 (all scream) 486 00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:17,860 - Oh, my God! - (shouting weakly) 487 00:17:17,895 --> 00:17:21,009 I think it's... It's bad. 488 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:25,882 Excuse me, my father cut his thumb off. 489 00:17:25,918 --> 00:17:27,722 - We need help right now. - Do you have the thumb? 490 00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:28,873 Yeah, I got it right here. 491 00:17:28,909 --> 00:17:30,459 It's in a plastic baggy. 492 00:17:30,494 --> 00:17:31,503 It's not just sitting on the ice cream. 493 00:17:31,539 --> 00:17:32,980 Okay, just fill out these forms. 494 00:17:33,016 --> 00:17:34,448 Someone will be with you in a bit. 495 00:17:34,484 --> 00:17:36,364 I think this might be it for me, little man. 496 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,099 There's something you gotta know, Jake. 497 00:17:38,135 --> 00:17:40,153 - You have three half-sisters. - What? 498 00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:41,558 One in Atlanta, one in Newark, 499 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,324 one in Dallas Fort Worth. All the hubs. 500 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,126 Okay, we have to get him help right now. 501 00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:46,793 He can't die. I've gotta hear more about this. 502 00:17:46,829 --> 00:17:49,528 It's a holiday, we're understaffed, we'll get to your father eventually. 503 00:17:49,564 --> 00:17:51,330 He needs help now! 504 00:17:51,366 --> 00:17:53,649 You know who this man is? Captain Roger Peralta. 505 00:17:53,684 --> 00:17:55,317 He taught Sully Sullenberger how to fly. 506 00:17:55,352 --> 00:17:57,115 It's just that we're understaffed. 507 00:17:57,151 --> 00:17:59,053 No excuses. You're going to take this man 508 00:17:59,089 --> 00:18:01,492 to the OR right now or I'm gonna sue you 509 00:18:01,528 --> 00:18:03,625 - and everybody in this hospital. - (groans) 510 00:18:03,912 --> 00:18:05,244 Uh, go with him. 511 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,763 - I love you, buddy. - Oh. 512 00:18:07,831 --> 00:18:09,998 - Thanks, that's nice. - I love you, nurse. 513 00:18:10,209 --> 00:18:12,252 I love you lady in the scarf. 514 00:18:12,288 --> 00:18:13,635 Significantly less meaningful. 515 00:18:13,671 --> 00:18:16,386 - I love you candy machine. - Victor, that was amazing. 516 00:18:16,422 --> 00:18:17,973 - Thank you so much for coming. - Of course. 517 00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:19,900 Your mom and Camila are on the way. 518 00:18:19,936 --> 00:18:21,702 They're still cleaning up all the blood. 519 00:18:21,738 --> 00:18:23,512 Yeah, there was so much. They might have to move. 520 00:18:23,547 --> 00:18:26,315 Babe, I'm really sorry about all the things I said. 521 00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:28,517 - You know, I didn't mean it. - Yeah, me neither. 522 00:18:28,552 --> 00:18:30,018 And, look, this is all my fault. 523 00:18:30,351 --> 00:18:34,523 I just wanted a big family Thanksgiving, and I forced it, so it's on me. 524 00:18:34,558 --> 00:18:35,891 But, look, I love you, and... 525 00:18:35,926 --> 00:18:37,392 Is that still your dad's thumb? 526 00:18:37,428 --> 00:18:39,761 Oh, my God, yes. He needs this. Nurse? 527 00:18:39,797 --> 00:18:42,037 Hello, Raymond. Ready to go to dinner? 528 00:18:42,073 --> 00:18:45,267 Yes, but I have some unfortunate news about our pie. 529 00:18:45,302 --> 00:18:46,966 - It was thrown away. - No. 530 00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:48,658 - Are you serious? - Mm-hmm. 531 00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,567 - And I know who did it. - Who? 532 00:18:50,603 --> 00:18:54,006 You all bragged about your Thanksgiving plans. 533 00:18:54,042 --> 00:18:57,734 Why? You were overcompensating. 534 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,100 Trying to cover up your dark secrets, 535 00:19:01,136 --> 00:19:04,861 but there was one other person who was also overcompensating. 536 00:19:04,897 --> 00:19:06,697 (snaps) You. Kevin. 537 00:19:06,733 --> 00:19:08,341 Even better than a plain scone. 538 00:19:08,377 --> 00:19:10,292 (slo-mo) Plain scone. Plain scone. 539 00:19:10,327 --> 00:19:11,827 I should have known you were lying. 540 00:19:11,863 --> 00:19:14,279 There's nothing better than a plain scone. 541 00:19:14,315 --> 00:19:16,331 - This is ridiculous. - Is it? 542 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:18,184 Look how the pie was disposed of. 543 00:19:18,220 --> 00:19:20,402 Placed gently with two hands inside the bin. 544 00:19:20,437 --> 00:19:22,437 That's exactly how you always throw away garbage. 545 00:19:22,473 --> 00:19:23,939 - It is? - There's only one thing 546 00:19:23,974 --> 00:19:26,145 I still can't figure out. 547 00:19:26,181 --> 00:19:28,679 - Why'd you do it? - Because it's disgusting. 548 00:19:28,715 --> 00:19:30,281 - Oh, my. - That pie is an abomination. 549 00:19:30,317 --> 00:19:32,573 It has beef suet and apple seeds in it. 550 00:19:32,609 --> 00:19:34,313 Why? It's a walnut pie. 551 00:19:34,349 --> 00:19:36,733 If we brought that to my family's house, hey would have said something. 552 00:19:36,769 --> 00:19:40,069 - I was trying to protect you. - Why didn't you just tell me the truth? 553 00:19:40,105 --> 00:19:42,424 (sighs) Because I love our annual trips 554 00:19:42,459 --> 00:19:43,892 to Saratoga Springs. 555 00:19:43,927 --> 00:19:45,627 The two of us driving in silence, 556 00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,772 looking at the barren trees. It's perfect. 557 00:19:47,808 --> 00:19:50,454 I... I didn't wanna lose that. 558 00:19:51,402 --> 00:19:53,335 - I'm sorry. - I don't know why we can't 559 00:19:53,370 --> 00:19:55,470 still make the drive next year. 560 00:19:55,506 --> 00:19:57,734 We just don't have to buy the pie. 561 00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:59,508 A trip with no purpose? 562 00:19:59,543 --> 00:20:01,520 (chuckles) Raymond... 563 00:20:02,379 --> 00:20:04,379 - Hey, Dad, how's it going? - I'm fine. 564 00:20:04,415 --> 00:20:06,439 They reattached my thumb. 565 00:20:06,475 --> 00:20:08,909 Oh, that's great. So you'll be able to fly again? 566 00:20:08,945 --> 00:20:10,378 Yeah, that was never in doubt. 567 00:20:10,414 --> 00:20:13,014 You don't need thumbs to fly anymore. You just hit one button. 568 00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:14,375 The plane takes care of the rest. 569 00:20:14,411 --> 00:20:15,791 I have to believe that's not true. 570 00:20:15,826 --> 00:20:17,759 Oh, looks like Mom's already tuckered out. 571 00:20:17,795 --> 00:20:19,694 Yeah, you know how tired she gets when she drinks. 572 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:21,996 - She won't be up for 12 hours. - Hey, Jake, 573 00:20:22,032 --> 00:20:23,398 you know how you said you always wanted to have 574 00:20:23,434 --> 00:20:25,767 a big family Thanksgiving? I had five brothers, 575 00:20:25,803 --> 00:20:28,437 three sisters, four aunts, and 12 cousins 576 00:20:28,472 --> 00:20:30,672 who spent every holiday together. 577 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,641 I had the kind of family that you dream of. 578 00:20:32,676 --> 00:20:35,709 (chuckles) Oh, are you done? 579 00:20:35,745 --> 00:20:37,073 That seemed like a really mean place to stop, 580 00:20:37,109 --> 00:20:38,346 but you're taking a long pause. 581 00:20:38,382 --> 00:20:39,381 - When we all were together... - Ah. 582 00:20:39,416 --> 00:20:40,749 Huge mess. I can't tell you 583 00:20:40,784 --> 00:20:42,651 how many holidays I spent in an ER. 584 00:20:42,686 --> 00:20:43,819 - (chuckles) - But that's what it means 585 00:20:43,854 --> 00:20:45,487 to have a big family. 586 00:20:45,522 --> 00:20:46,922 Like this one. 587 00:20:46,957 --> 00:20:49,608 Oh. Well, thank you, Victor. 588 00:20:49,644 --> 00:20:51,577 And apparently my family's a lot bigger than I thought. 589 00:20:51,613 --> 00:20:53,270 How many half sisters did you say I have, Dad? 590 00:20:53,306 --> 00:20:54,709 I only told you about the sisters? 591 00:20:54,745 --> 00:20:56,769 - Come on. - Roger, I want to apologize 592 00:20:56,805 --> 00:20:57,949 to you for being so defensive 593 00:20:57,985 --> 00:20:59,395 about you wanting to pay for the wedding. 594 00:20:59,431 --> 00:21:01,369 I'm sorry too. It was stupid. 595 00:21:01,405 --> 00:21:02,871 I was just feeling insecure because... 596 00:21:02,906 --> 00:21:04,539 'Cause I gave Jake the watch? 597 00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:06,942 I was gonna say because you saw my penis through my underpants, 598 00:21:06,977 --> 00:21:08,677 but the watch, yeah, sure. 599 00:21:08,712 --> 00:21:10,946 I was thinking, if you wanna pay for the wedding, 600 00:21:10,981 --> 00:21:13,915 it would be fine, but we can split it. 601 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,617 It's up to you. 602 00:21:15,966 --> 00:21:17,486 That seems fair. 603 00:21:17,772 --> 00:21:20,606 You're a good dude. Come here, give me a hug. 604 00:21:20,642 --> 00:21:22,733 Give me a... hug me. Hug me. 605 00:21:22,769 --> 00:21:25,660 - Bring it in. - Oh, Jake, it's happening. 606 00:21:25,696 --> 00:21:27,395 The weird but good dad hug. 607 00:21:27,431 --> 00:21:28,930 Oh, it's magical. 608 00:21:28,966 --> 00:21:30,866 - Best Thanksgiving ever. - (sighs) 609 00:21:30,901 --> 00:21:32,862 Yep, Dad, your gown's riding up. 610 00:21:32,898 --> 00:21:34,197 - Oh. - It's out. 611 00:21:34,233 --> 00:21:35,682 - Ooh, I... - It's out.