1 00:00:01,187 --> 00:00:03,612 Hey, Charles, can we talk in the briefing room for a sec? 2 00:00:03,648 --> 00:00:05,412 - There's a question I gotta ask you. - Mm-hmm. 3 00:00:08,243 --> 00:00:10,219 It's happening. 4 00:00:10,255 --> 00:00:11,750 Jake is gonna pop the question. 5 00:00:11,786 --> 00:00:13,885 - He's gonna ask me to be his BM. - No. 6 00:00:13,921 --> 00:00:15,816 BM, best man, is a common abbreviation. 7 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,785 No one but you has ever used it. 8 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,322 I am so relieved. 9 00:00:19,358 --> 00:00:21,394 I thought maybe he was gonna ask one of Amy's brothers 10 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,698 or, ugh, Sarge. 11 00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:24,525 - Hey, man, come on. - Charles! 12 00:00:27,981 --> 00:00:31,199 Okay, so I know this is a lot to ask... 13 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,500 No, it's not. I want to do it. 14 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,086 You want to cover my shift this weekend 15 00:00:34,122 --> 00:00:35,472 so I can go to the White Plains Mall 16 00:00:35,508 --> 00:00:37,550 and meet Darryl Strawberry at the opening of a cellphone store? 17 00:00:38,315 --> 00:00:39,407 Yes. 18 00:00:39,674 --> 00:00:41,474 It's exactly what I was hoping you'd ask. 19 00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:43,644 Great. Thanks. You sure it's okay? 20 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,446 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,776 I'm very happy about it. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. 22 00:00:47,812 --> 00:00:50,165 Uh, look at my smile. Have to go now. 23 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,321 Surprise! 24 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,289 Oh, my God! 25 00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,137 - Jake! - What do you say, bud? 26 00:00:57,173 --> 00:01:00,738 - Will you be my BM? - Yes! Yes, a million times, yes! 27 00:01:01,082 --> 00:01:02,569 In your face, Terry! 28 00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:04,119 What? I'm holding a sparkler for you. 29 00:01:04,155 --> 00:01:05,633 I helped organize a lot of this. 30 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,413 Well, you can stick that sparkler up your butt. 31 00:01:07,449 --> 00:01:08,950 I'm the best man! 32 00:01:24,349 --> 00:01:28,349 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 33 00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,159 Captain, allow me to introduce you 34 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:34,462 to major East Coast arms dealer Dan "Daniel" Valdano. 35 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,702 That's right, his nickname is longer than his actual name. 36 00:01:36,738 --> 00:01:38,773 - Why's that, Terry? - 'Cause he's a dick. 37 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,700 We got a warrant to bug him, but his house is a fortress 38 00:01:41,736 --> 00:01:43,270 and he never goes anywhere in public. 39 00:01:43,306 --> 00:01:45,259 Luckily, CI just gave us a break. 40 00:01:45,295 --> 00:01:47,524 Valdano's gonna actually leave his house 41 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,810 to go to a high stakes poker game this Friday. 42 00:01:49,846 --> 00:01:53,191 If we can get a seat at that table, we can lose this watch to him. 43 00:01:53,227 --> 00:01:54,542 And guess what. It's... 44 00:01:54,578 --> 00:01:56,502 - Bugged! - Yes, it's bugged. 45 00:01:56,538 --> 00:01:57,654 Good guess, Captain. 46 00:01:57,690 --> 00:01:59,734 The plan is, we go to the club tonight, 47 00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:03,037 show off our poker skills, and get an invite to the high stakes game. 48 00:02:03,073 --> 00:02:05,342 All we need is $15,000 to get in the door. 49 00:02:05,378 --> 00:02:06,872 That's a lot of money. How are your poker skills? 50 00:02:06,908 --> 00:02:08,435 A'ight. 51 00:02:08,471 --> 00:02:09,490 - Good. - A'ight. 52 00:02:09,526 --> 00:02:10,531 - Hecka good. - A'ight. 53 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,342 - So good. - Perhaps I should see for myself. 54 00:02:12,378 --> 00:02:14,566 - Oh. Do you play? - I am... 55 00:02:14,905 --> 00:02:17,119 - A'ight. - Damn, Cap. 56 00:02:17,155 --> 00:02:19,624 - Are you secretly cool? - Well, poker is just math, 57 00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:21,175 so I guess it depends on if you consider 58 00:02:21,211 --> 00:02:24,657 the mathematician Carl Friedrich Gauss cool. 59 00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:26,380 I do not. 60 00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:28,148 All right, let's play some cards. 61 00:02:28,184 --> 00:02:30,065 Sarge asked me to help you guys with some filing. 62 00:02:30,101 --> 00:02:31,966 Holy crap, this is gonna take all day. 63 00:02:32,002 --> 00:02:34,105 Yup, it's what we call an all-dayer. 64 00:02:34,141 --> 00:02:35,599 How long did it take you two to come up with that? 65 00:02:35,635 --> 00:02:38,192 - That was a two-dayer. - Okay, well, hand me some files. 66 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,431 You're not gonna bother actually walking? 67 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,426 Why should we? We can work from down here. 68 00:02:45,462 --> 00:02:47,257 I'm sitting down as long as I can. 69 00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,537 I'm not getting out of the chair till it's time to go home. 70 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:52,273 - Ugh. - Oh, typical standing elite. 71 00:02:52,497 --> 00:02:54,533 You couldn't sit all day if you tried. 72 00:02:54,569 --> 00:02:58,005 What? You don't think I could outlast you turds in a chair? 73 00:02:58,041 --> 00:03:00,298 Honey, you don't have the ass for it. 74 00:03:01,396 --> 00:03:02,876 Let's talk terms. 75 00:03:02,912 --> 00:03:05,253 Both cheeks on the cushion at all times. 76 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,692 Obviously. Bathroom breaks? 77 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,136 Two and a half minutes every three hours. 78 00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:10,054 But you gotta roll the chair fully into the stall. 79 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,760 - Obviously. - Okay. 80 00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:17,779 - Let's do this. - Welcome to the Buttlympics. 81 00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:21,313 I call to order the meeting of investors 82 00:03:21,349 --> 00:03:24,308 in the forthcoming Charles Boyle owned-and-operated 83 00:03:24,344 --> 00:03:25,967 food truck venture. 84 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,976 I know I'm the only investor, but is it cool if I take minutes? 85 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,438 Yes. Put this down: we got a truck. 86 00:03:31,474 --> 00:03:33,447 What? Really? That's huge. 87 00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:34,482 Take a look. 88 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,984 Is that the NYPD police auction site? 89 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,452 Yeah, that's how I found out about it. 90 00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,721 And there's our baby. Isn't she a... 91 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,142 Murder truck? 92 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,325 That's the truck from the Tinga Time Taco murders! 93 00:03:44,361 --> 00:03:46,204 Yes, two brothers were using a taco truck 94 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,148 to move heroin and then were killed by the cartel 95 00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:50,062 - that supplied them. - Not just killed, Boyle. 96 00:03:50,098 --> 00:03:51,933 Dismembered. Right in the truck. 97 00:03:51,969 --> 00:03:54,848 Right in our truck. That's why it was such bargain. 98 00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:58,000 Everyone else was like, "Ooh, there's a knee in the fryer. 99 00:03:58,036 --> 00:04:00,126 I don't want to sell food out of this." 100 00:04:00,162 --> 00:04:02,730 - They found a knee in the fryer? - Exactly. You get it. 101 00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:04,661 Well, now I get to go pick it up. 102 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,515 Oh, almost forgot my hazmat suit. 103 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,805 And... I win again. 104 00:04:11,841 --> 00:04:15,084 Which is not surprising, given how you are both terrible. 105 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,650 You don't even know the terminology. 106 00:04:16,686 --> 00:04:19,140 - What are you talking about? "Hit me." - That is blackjack. 107 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,264 - Snake-eyes. - Craps. 108 00:04:20,313 --> 00:04:21,726 - Go Fish. - And I believe that is 109 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,902 - Go Fish. - Fine. 110 00:04:22,938 --> 00:04:24,368 Jake stinks, but I can play. 111 00:04:24,404 --> 00:04:26,944 Yes, but you have a rather unfortunate tell: 112 00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:28,120 your right breast. 113 00:04:28,592 --> 00:04:31,027 Oh, no. My cards are terrible. 114 00:04:31,225 --> 00:04:32,540 Sure they are. 115 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,131 Dammit, Eugene, you sold me out! 116 00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:35,377 Captain, do I have a tell? 117 00:04:35,413 --> 00:04:36,866 No, you don't understand the game well enough 118 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,316 - to have a tell. - Yeah, that makes sense. 119 00:04:38,352 --> 00:04:39,734 What about you? What's your tell? 120 00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:41,917 It is subtle. You will never discern it. 121 00:04:41,953 --> 00:04:44,518 Oh, really? Well, challenge accepted. 122 00:04:44,856 --> 00:04:46,090 Tell me a lie. 123 00:04:46,321 --> 00:04:47,455 You're both great at poker 124 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:48,693 and I'm not gonna cancel the mission. 125 00:04:48,729 --> 00:04:50,464 Nope, I couldn't see it. Wait, what? 126 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:51,934 You're cancelling the mission? You can't do that. 127 00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:53,706 This is our only shot at catching Valdano. 128 00:04:53,742 --> 00:04:55,244 It's a foolish plan. Neither of you have any chance 129 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,873 of making it to the VIP table. 130 00:04:56,909 --> 00:04:58,544 But maybe you could. What if you played? 131 00:04:58,580 --> 00:04:59,947 No, I don't gamble anymore. 132 00:04:59,983 --> 00:05:01,802 A few years back I had a minor addiction, 133 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,688 specifically involving... 134 00:05:04,274 --> 00:05:05,409 the ponies. 135 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,808 I'd like to bet $20,000 on... 136 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:11,679 Yabba Dabba Doo. 137 00:05:11,865 --> 00:05:13,767 Sadly, Yabba Dabba Doo stumbled 138 00:05:13,803 --> 00:05:15,616 and had to be put down in front all of us. 139 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,385 - Oh. That's fun. - Wait. 140 00:05:17,637 --> 00:05:19,806 What if I never went inside the casino? 141 00:05:19,842 --> 00:05:21,355 I could be outside in a surveillance van, 142 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,457 telling Peralta what to do. 143 00:05:23,493 --> 00:05:25,288 Smart. That way you never technically gamble. 144 00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,727 - Right. - I don't know. 145 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,762 Addiction is nothing to fool around with. 146 00:05:28,798 --> 00:05:31,404 I had food issues. I ate a crate of hams once. 147 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:32,700 Yeah, and look at you now. 148 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,104 You're like a super-jacked He-man guy, right? 149 00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:37,221 It's settled; we'll go with the captain's plan. 150 00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:41,281 Here's your persona: you're Billy "Big Time" Jankowski. 151 00:05:41,317 --> 00:05:44,229 You wear sunglasses, headphones, and an unwashed hoodie. 152 00:05:44,393 --> 00:05:46,072 You normally gamble online, 153 00:05:46,108 --> 00:05:47,870 from your mother's basement, where you live. 154 00:05:47,906 --> 00:05:49,417 Seems unnecessary. 155 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,419 The hoodie hides your sunglass-camera's electronics. 156 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:54,040 I more meant the living in my mom's basement virgin vibe. 157 00:05:54,076 --> 00:05:57,509 You added the virgin, but I like it. It's part of your backstory now. 158 00:05:57,545 --> 00:05:59,322 - But... - You're a virgin. That's an order. 159 00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,093 But I don't want to be a virgin again. 160 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,553 Okay, I'm approaching the table. 161 00:06:03,748 --> 00:06:06,178 Evening, gentlemen. Let's play some cards. 162 00:06:06,248 --> 00:06:07,782 And now, Peralta, say the following... 163 00:06:07,818 --> 00:06:10,738 I'm coming in under the gun, and I've 15k behind. 164 00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:12,522 Okay. 165 00:06:12,947 --> 00:06:14,282 Action's on you. 166 00:06:15,728 --> 00:06:17,896 Mmm, tasty. Raise it 500. 167 00:06:17,932 --> 00:06:19,447 Raise it 5-hundo. 168 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,614 - Made up my own. - What? 169 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:21,889 I'm just talking to myself. 170 00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:23,653 I'm used to playing online, so it's not weird. 171 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:28,889 Well, well, well. 172 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,892 You flopped the absolute nuts, Peralta. Go all in. 173 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,935 Are you sure? On the first hand, Captain? 174 00:06:33,971 --> 00:06:35,696 It's what the math dictates. 175 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,699 At this moment there are no two cards that can beat Peralta. 176 00:06:38,735 --> 00:06:40,501 - I'm all in. - And now they all fold 177 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,887 like so much recently dried linen. 178 00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,291 - I'll call. - What an idiot. 179 00:06:44,327 --> 00:06:45,362 Two players. 180 00:06:48,788 --> 00:06:50,724 - What? - Full house wins. 181 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,757 - Yes! - No, he won; not you. 182 00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:54,150 You're out of chips. 183 00:06:54,186 --> 00:06:55,483 Oh, well, that sucks. 184 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,451 Guess I'll just head back to my mom's basement. 185 00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:58,519 I'm a virgin. 186 00:07:01,873 --> 00:07:04,558 All clear. No poopers. Repeat: No poopers. 187 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,959 That was a disaster. 188 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,844 I thought Holt was supposed to be great at this. 189 00:07:09,148 --> 00:07:10,850 - Any poopers? - All clear. 190 00:07:10,886 --> 00:07:12,098 What happened, Captain? 191 00:07:12,134 --> 00:07:13,667 That imbecile in the trucker hat 192 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:16,167 hit both his runners and sucked out on the river. 193 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,571 Yeah, he did. What does that mean? 194 00:07:17,607 --> 00:07:20,774 Not to worry. The odds of that happening again are infinitesimal. 195 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,810 Not that it matters. Since we're out of money. 196 00:07:22,846 --> 00:07:24,828 Oh, but we're not. 197 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,987 - Where'd this come from? - It's my money. 198 00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:29,657 There are 25 ATMs in this place. 199 00:07:29,693 --> 00:07:31,018 Even the fire exit has one. 200 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,887 You want us to use your own money? You sure that's a good idea? 201 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,564 I haven't placed a bet or touched a card. 202 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,734 I'm fine. 203 00:07:37,776 --> 00:07:39,212 Technically that is true. 204 00:07:39,248 --> 00:07:41,248 Trust me; the math is in our favor. 205 00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:44,632 All right, let's get back in there and suck out two runners 206 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:45,999 down by the river. 207 00:07:46,414 --> 00:07:48,082 - Did I say that right? - Not even close. 208 00:07:48,118 --> 00:07:49,169 Yeah, I didn't think so. 209 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,704 Still, let's get in there and suck 'em out. 210 00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:51,924 No time like the present. 211 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,538 And no place to do it like the men's bathroom, 212 00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,176 to leave from here to go do what we're talking about. 213 00:07:56,735 --> 00:07:59,661 Ugh. Nine hours and 55 minutes. 214 00:07:59,697 --> 00:08:01,449 Is it? I feel like I just sat down. 215 00:08:01,485 --> 00:08:04,079 I have no feeling down there whatsoever. 216 00:08:05,232 --> 00:08:07,467 I haven't in years. 217 00:08:07,503 --> 00:08:09,344 I'm doing great too. This has been a piece of ca... 218 00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:11,512 Oh, butt cramp. Butt cramp! 219 00:08:11,548 --> 00:08:12,726 That sounds painful. 220 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,501 I bet you could use some electrolytes. 221 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,466 - Give me that! That's mine. - Come get it. 222 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,866 You'll never catch me! 223 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,124 Oh, won't I? 224 00:08:20,344 --> 00:08:21,479 Oh! 225 00:08:26,066 --> 00:08:28,175 Cramp over. 226 00:08:28,589 --> 00:08:30,007 And so is our shift. 227 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,579 Ha. And you thought I couldn't... Wait, what are you doing? 228 00:08:32,615 --> 00:08:34,662 You thought we were done just because our shift was over? 229 00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:36,049 - Amateur. - Oh. 230 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,651 So you wanna take this thing into overtime? 231 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,693 Fine. I got no place to be. 232 00:08:39,729 --> 00:08:41,297 Neither do I. I never do. 233 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:43,724 Then it's agreed. The games continue. 234 00:08:44,264 --> 00:08:46,049 And now you're going to... 235 00:08:46,797 --> 00:08:48,118 - Fold. - Fold. 236 00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:50,534 - Fold. - Fold. 237 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:51,899 - Fold. - Fold. 238 00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,834 Should we consider cutting our losses? 239 00:08:53,870 --> 00:08:56,066 Hush, Sergeant. Our cards are coming. 240 00:08:56,338 --> 00:08:59,671 And there she is. 241 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:00,789 - You won. - I won. 242 00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,033 - You won! - Won again. 243 00:09:02,069 --> 00:09:03,435 - That's our straight. - And again, again. 244 00:09:03,471 --> 00:09:04,800 Hot damn! 245 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,219 Peralta, say "hot damn." 246 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,017 - Hot damn! - Now you say it. 247 00:09:08,203 --> 00:09:10,005 - Hot damn! - Full house. 248 00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:11,051 Eights over threes. 249 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,248 Good. Now say to the dealer... 250 00:09:13,284 --> 00:09:15,220 Well, this has been fun. 251 00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:17,057 But I'm sick of playing with... 252 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,026 wittle wittle babies. 253 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,236 Is there a table for people who wear big boy pants? 254 00:09:23,557 --> 00:09:25,766 Actually, there's a private game on Friday 255 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,041 I think you might like. 256 00:09:29,576 --> 00:09:30,830 Much obliged. 257 00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:33,941 - Hey, there, bud. - Hey. 258 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,076 Can we talk about the murder truck we just purchased 259 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,881 with our very hard-earned money? 260 00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:40,016 Oh, Amy, wait till you see her. 261 00:09:40,052 --> 00:09:42,378 I spent all night pressure-washing her, 262 00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:44,007 and she is spotless. 263 00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:46,165 Yeah, it's just, what if word gets out 264 00:09:46,201 --> 00:09:48,303 that our food truck was the site of a double homicide? 265 00:09:48,342 --> 00:09:49,640 What if word gets out? 266 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:52,047 It's in the "Our Story" section of the menu. 267 00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:53,545 We're calling it Murder Truck! 268 00:09:53,581 --> 00:09:54,803 - We are? - Yeah! 269 00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:57,748 - It was your idea. - No, it was my greatest fear. 270 00:09:57,784 --> 00:10:00,250 I can't believe you're leaning into the murder thing. 271 00:10:00,286 --> 00:10:02,805 Well, it'll get people talking. Check out the menu. 272 00:10:02,841 --> 00:10:04,851 It's printed on a crime scene photo. 273 00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:06,315 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 274 00:10:06,351 --> 00:10:08,225 Charles, we're gonna lose all of our money. 275 00:10:08,261 --> 00:10:09,810 Are you worried? 276 00:10:10,047 --> 00:10:12,433 Oh, okay, I see what's happening. 277 00:10:12,469 --> 00:10:14,748 Starting a business is very scary. 278 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:17,963 But I promise you, once you see our truck, 279 00:10:18,266 --> 00:10:20,144 you'll feel a lot better. Come on. 280 00:10:21,444 --> 00:10:24,689 No, no, no, no, no! My truck! My beautiful truck! 281 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:25,993 Someone killed ripped her apart! 282 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,483 Charles, please tell me you got insurance. 283 00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:28,996 - I did. - Okay, thank God. 284 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,922 Coverage starts tomorrow. 285 00:10:32,683 --> 00:10:34,494 Well, Valdano's gonna be there tonight, 286 00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:37,098 and the recording device in the watch is transmitting. 287 00:10:37,134 --> 00:10:39,168 I feel like Bond. Terry Bond. 288 00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:41,174 Well, technically I'm the one wearing the watch, 289 00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:42,843 so that would make you Q at best. 290 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,891 - Terry Q. - Yeah. Way to roll with it. 291 00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:46,983 Come on, let's tell Holt we're prepped for tonight. 292 00:10:47,019 --> 00:10:48,818 I gotta say, I was wrong about him. 293 00:10:48,854 --> 00:10:51,118 He had no problem walking away last night. 294 00:10:51,545 --> 00:10:53,236 He left a lot of hams in that crate. 295 00:10:53,272 --> 00:10:54,354 Juicy. 296 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,168 Spiral-cut, honey-sweet but salty... 297 00:10:57,204 --> 00:10:58,910 - Sarge, come back to me. - What? 298 00:10:58,946 --> 00:11:00,429 You're the one that brought up ham. 299 00:11:00,465 --> 00:11:03,314 - That was you. - Yes, yes, come to papa. 300 00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:06,166 Raise it a grand! Call. Raise. 301 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,502 A pair of candy canes. I'm all in, baby. 302 00:11:08,538 --> 00:11:10,137 - What are you doing, sir? - Working the case. 303 00:11:10,173 --> 00:11:11,803 Sharpening my poker skills for Valdano. 304 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,875 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and why are you watching this children's beauty pageant? 305 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,844 For fun, obviously. 306 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,312 No, Jayla, don't drop the baton. 307 00:11:19,632 --> 00:11:22,068 No, I had so much riding on you! 308 00:11:22,104 --> 00:11:24,640 Oh no. He is deep in the ham crate. 309 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,189 - Are you sure about this? - Yes. 310 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,163 Captain Holt's been in his office gambling for hours. 311 00:11:31,199 --> 00:11:32,879 Our only choice is to cut off his internet. 312 00:11:32,915 --> 00:11:34,925 No, I mean, are you sure you know how to do that? 313 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,549 Of course. I just have to pull this... 314 00:11:36,585 --> 00:11:37,603 Oh! 315 00:11:39,119 --> 00:11:40,611 - Gah. - Wrong wire. 316 00:11:40,647 --> 00:11:42,735 Yep, we'll... we'll fix that later. 317 00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:44,171 And... 318 00:11:44,548 --> 00:11:46,555 - What the hell? - Got it. 319 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,518 Having trouble with your internet, sir? 320 00:11:48,554 --> 00:11:50,749 He's not here. Where'd he go? 321 00:11:50,785 --> 00:11:51,920 Roof. 322 00:11:51,956 --> 00:11:53,413 What are you doing? 323 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:55,529 Trying to pick up a Wi-Fi signal from across the street. 324 00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:58,351 I've got $8,000 riding on little Jayla. 325 00:11:58,387 --> 00:12:00,447 Don't you think you have a bit of a problem here, sir? 326 00:12:00,483 --> 00:12:02,023 I'm in complete control. 327 00:12:02,059 --> 00:12:04,487 Now, Terry, come over here and dangle me off the edge of this building. 328 00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:07,394 Sir, I am not going to dangle you off the side of this building. 329 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,829 You're fired. Peralta, let me climb onto your shoulders. 330 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,063 - I can't... - You're fired. 331 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,462 No one works here anymore. 332 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,753 Look, we need to have a real talk about your gambling. 333 00:12:13,789 --> 00:12:16,011 Relapsing is nothing to be ashamed of. 334 00:12:16,047 --> 00:12:18,514 A couple years ago on my birthday I treated myself 335 00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:20,073 to one piece of pizza. 336 00:12:20,109 --> 00:12:23,718 I woke up the next morning in a Sbarro on the Jersey Turnpike. 337 00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:24,937 It wasn't even open! 338 00:12:24,973 --> 00:12:26,346 That's not what's happening here. 339 00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,815 I'm not weak like you. I can stop whenever I want. 340 00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:31,404 - Then stop. - I don't want. 341 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,678 Now if you'll excuse me, 342 00:12:32,714 --> 00:12:34,837 I'm heading to the acai bowl internet café. 343 00:12:34,873 --> 00:12:38,027 Got a lot of money riding on the NLCS, whatever the hell that is. 344 00:12:38,063 --> 00:12:39,705 We can't let you do that. 345 00:12:39,741 --> 00:12:42,795 And how exactly will you stop me? 346 00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:45,517 We'll call your husband. 347 00:12:46,792 --> 00:12:47,945 No. 348 00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:51,240 No, I can't put Kevin through this, not again. 349 00:12:51,849 --> 00:12:53,534 You're right. I've lost control, 350 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,678 and I'm taking myself off this case. 351 00:12:55,912 --> 00:13:00,072 And I'm not going anywhere near gambling again. 352 00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:04,596 - You promise? - From the bottom of my heart. 353 00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:05,972 It's a dead issue. 354 00:13:06,354 --> 00:13:07,729 I'm proud of you, sir. 355 00:13:07,852 --> 00:13:09,256 So am I, Captain. 356 00:13:10,031 --> 00:13:12,682 So I'm sorry. Terry, you went to Jersey for pizza? 357 00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:15,128 - I had a problem, man! - Right, sorry. 358 00:13:15,457 --> 00:13:18,716 Ugh, how long have we been sitting? My butt's lost track of time. 359 00:13:18,752 --> 00:13:21,693 - Coming up on 32 hours. - I miss the little things. 360 00:13:22,037 --> 00:13:24,371 Showers. Feeling my feet. 361 00:13:24,958 --> 00:13:26,893 - Standing. - I miss my home chair. 362 00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:28,013 You miss a chair? 363 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:30,164 I just want walk up to the hot dog stand out front 364 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,488 and get a fresh wiener. 365 00:13:31,524 --> 00:13:33,643 Oh, man. Why did you say that? Now I want one. 366 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,329 - So you should go get one. - Oh, and let you win? 367 00:13:35,365 --> 00:13:37,003 You're just trying to get us to stand up. 368 00:13:37,039 --> 00:13:39,501 No. We should all go get one... 369 00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,690 - in our chairs. - She's right. 370 00:13:41,726 --> 00:13:43,961 The only thing holding us back is society. 371 00:13:53,846 --> 00:13:55,784 Mmm. So good. 372 00:13:56,762 --> 00:13:58,664 I got it. No. 373 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,033 - My ass. - It left the chair. 374 00:14:01,069 --> 00:14:02,667 I'm sorry, man. 375 00:14:02,941 --> 00:14:06,079 No. It was my time. 376 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,331 It's our time too. 377 00:14:08,367 --> 00:14:10,941 We've been through hell together. Now we stand together. 378 00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,268 Nope. Legs are dead. 379 00:14:14,304 --> 00:14:15,483 Going down. 380 00:14:17,384 --> 00:14:18,642 Charles, what are you doing? 381 00:14:18,681 --> 00:14:20,193 I know having our truck smashed to bits 382 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:23,123 was a bit of a setback, but don't worry; I have an idea. 383 00:14:23,159 --> 00:14:25,999 The truck was deconstructed so we do... 384 00:14:26,722 --> 00:14:28,256 Not have a business anymore? 385 00:14:28,292 --> 00:14:30,848 No. We do deconstructed food. 386 00:14:30,884 --> 00:14:33,296 For instance, a deconstructed meatball sub: 387 00:14:33,332 --> 00:14:35,745 a meatball, rolled in breadcrumbs 388 00:14:35,781 --> 00:14:38,278 with a caramelized tomato sauce drizzle. 389 00:14:38,927 --> 00:14:40,309 - Taste it. - Charles, 390 00:14:40,345 --> 00:14:42,532 I appreciate that you're trying to fix this situation, 391 00:14:42,568 --> 00:14:43,747 but you don't have to. 392 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,084 I have great news. 393 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,201 I know who robbed us. 394 00:14:46,237 --> 00:14:48,251 The cartel who did the taco truck murders 395 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,991 ripped apart the truck, because there was heroin still inside it. 396 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,213 We found opioid traces behind the fridge. 397 00:14:53,249 --> 00:14:55,397 I had forensics scour the truck for DNA 398 00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:58,296 and we got a match: a cartel enforcer. 399 00:14:58,453 --> 00:14:59,653 Do you know what this means? 400 00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,268 The truck becomes a crime scene again. 401 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,744 Yes! It's been impounded. We get our money back! 402 00:15:04,806 --> 00:15:05,847 Great. 403 00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:07,819 I'm glad you get your money back. 404 00:15:08,197 --> 00:15:11,241 You can invest it in something you actually believe in instead of... 405 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:12,747 My balls. 406 00:15:12,783 --> 00:15:15,353 Now if you'll excuse me, I have 50 pounds of meat 407 00:15:15,389 --> 00:15:17,819 I have to return before it goes rotten. 408 00:15:18,868 --> 00:15:20,289 Like my dreams. 409 00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,733 There's Valdano. The watch is transmitting. 410 00:15:25,769 --> 00:15:27,670 All you have to do is lose it to him. 411 00:15:27,706 --> 00:15:29,774 - Worst of luck to you. - Don't worry, Terry. 412 00:15:29,810 --> 00:15:32,032 I'm about to crap the bed. 413 00:15:32,386 --> 00:15:34,738 Evening, gentlemen. Ready for some poker? 414 00:15:34,774 --> 00:15:37,406 - That's why we're here. - Good one, stranger. 415 00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:38,929 I'll take 150. 416 00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:40,779 Hot damn! 417 00:15:40,931 --> 00:15:42,091 Four queens. 418 00:15:42,127 --> 00:15:44,921 I call this hand the Golden Girls. 419 00:15:44,957 --> 00:15:47,666 Damn it. Oh, you would look at that. 420 00:15:47,702 --> 00:15:50,562 My mom's calling me. She's flipping her lid 421 00:15:50,598 --> 00:15:52,339 because she found all my nudie mags in the basement. 422 00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:53,709 Anyways, BRB. 423 00:15:55,703 --> 00:15:58,386 What happened to not wanting to gamble anymore for Kevin? 424 00:15:58,422 --> 00:16:01,144 Sir, you are spiraling. You lied straight to our faces. 425 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:02,295 Well, that's on you. 426 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,618 If you could spot my tell, you would've known. 427 00:16:04,654 --> 00:16:05,859 Fine. What's your tell? 428 00:16:05,895 --> 00:16:07,525 Let's just say, I'm doing it right now. 429 00:16:07,561 --> 00:16:09,225 I'm doing it at this very moment. 430 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:11,375 - Is it standing up? - I've just done it again. 431 00:16:11,411 --> 00:16:13,144 Whoops, there's another time. 432 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,269 I don't understand. Even if you wanted to gamble, 433 00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:17,032 why come here, where we'd be? 434 00:16:17,068 --> 00:16:19,899 I lost some money on lame little Jayla, 435 00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,998 and I realized that's because I've been gambling 436 00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:25,440 instead of being down here doing what I'm good at... math. 437 00:16:25,476 --> 00:16:27,911 Now go get Valdano before you blow your covers. 438 00:16:27,947 --> 00:16:31,352 I'm off duty; what I do on my own time is my own business. 439 00:16:31,388 --> 00:16:33,710 Unlike you two who are still on the clock 440 00:16:33,746 --> 00:16:35,331 and are now being bad cops. 441 00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:37,989 Wow, listen to you talking all smooth. 442 00:16:38,025 --> 00:16:39,785 But you can't fool us, sir. 443 00:16:39,821 --> 00:16:41,427 You might as well face it. 444 00:16:41,482 --> 00:16:43,869 You're addicted to math. Robert Palmer. 445 00:16:43,905 --> 00:16:45,391 Come on, Sarge. Let's go. 446 00:16:50,287 --> 00:16:52,055 So you're a cop. 447 00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:56,045 There was a pooper. 448 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:58,776 Sorry about that. 449 00:16:58,812 --> 00:17:01,054 Crisis averted: I told her I read the magazines 450 00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,926 for the articles. She totally bought it. 451 00:17:02,962 --> 00:17:05,525 - Wait a sec, where are you going? - Got called away on business. 452 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,966 Come back next Friday; I'll take your money from you then. 453 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:12,565 Well, we'll just see about that, Mr. Cool Voice. 454 00:17:13,506 --> 00:17:15,034 His voice is really cool. 455 00:17:21,694 --> 00:17:23,869 So I understand you're a cop 456 00:17:23,905 --> 00:17:25,714 who's trying to bring me down. 457 00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:27,547 Why don't we take a little drive? 458 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:31,418 Why did you stay at the table so long after Valdano was already gone? 459 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,534 It would've been suspicious if I left right after he did, 460 00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:34,913 so I played a couple hands. 461 00:17:34,949 --> 00:17:36,507 Come on, let's grab Holt and get out of here. 462 00:17:36,679 --> 00:17:38,220 Wait. Where's Holt? 463 00:17:39,468 --> 00:17:41,635 So what was your plan, cop? 464 00:17:41,671 --> 00:17:44,836 Does it matter? We failed and now you know we're onto you. 465 00:17:44,872 --> 00:17:46,627 You get to come out ahead tonight, 466 00:17:46,663 --> 00:17:48,790 provided you don't do anything dumb right now. 467 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,526 My colleagues are calling, probably wondering where I am. 468 00:17:53,562 --> 00:17:55,295 Then put their minds at ease. 469 00:17:57,220 --> 00:17:58,388 - Yes? - Captain. 470 00:17:58,424 --> 00:17:59,479 We're leaving. Where are you? 471 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,798 I've already left. I don't enjoy being judged, 472 00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:04,032 so I'm on my way to Atlantic City for the weekend. 473 00:18:04,068 --> 00:18:05,104 I'll be gambling. 474 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:07,642 No, sir, please just come back, okay? 475 00:18:07,678 --> 00:18:09,218 Terry and I will keep you company. 476 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:10,434 We'll go to a museum. 477 00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:12,336 One of the boring ones with no dinosaurs. 478 00:18:12,372 --> 00:18:14,207 Forget it. I shouldn't've answered. 479 00:18:19,937 --> 00:18:21,671 Bye-bye "Toxic." 480 00:18:21,707 --> 00:18:23,578 Bye-bye "Party in the USA." 481 00:18:23,614 --> 00:18:25,016 Hey, Charles. What are you doing? 482 00:18:25,052 --> 00:18:27,749 I'm deleting all the upbeat music off my computer. 483 00:18:27,785 --> 00:18:28,939 I know you're down, but... 484 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,919 Bye-bye "Swish Swish Bish." 485 00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:33,223 Look, I feel really bad about the way I treated you. 486 00:18:33,259 --> 00:18:34,364 Well, you shouldn't. 487 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,778 You're the only one who saw that my dream was stupid 488 00:18:36,814 --> 00:18:38,330 and then you got me all my money back. 489 00:18:38,366 --> 00:18:41,489 Well, after you left, I tried one of your meatballs 490 00:18:41,525 --> 00:18:42,693 and then another. 491 00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:44,686 And another. I couldn't stop 492 00:18:44,722 --> 00:18:46,760 because they were so damn good. 493 00:18:46,796 --> 00:18:48,321 Really? You liked them? 494 00:18:48,357 --> 00:18:51,433 I loved them. I should have tried them earlier. 495 00:18:51,469 --> 00:18:53,439 I lost track of the fact that this whole thing 496 00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:55,803 was supposed to be about your food. 497 00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:57,310 I think we should buy another food truck. 498 00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:58,647 - You do? - Yes. 499 00:18:58,835 --> 00:19:00,494 But I have some conditions: 500 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,829 1, it cannot be a crime scene; 501 00:19:02,865 --> 00:19:05,724 2, you have to get insurance on day one; 502 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,869 3, you have to keep dreaming up amazing things to cook. 503 00:19:09,279 --> 00:19:10,991 You're so good, Boyle. 504 00:19:11,163 --> 00:19:13,168 Deal! We're gonna buy a food truck! 505 00:19:13,204 --> 00:19:15,086 We're gonna get a food truck! Yes! 506 00:19:15,122 --> 00:19:16,613 Stop! 507 00:19:17,662 --> 00:19:19,164 I ate too many meatballs. 508 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,193 Oh. 509 00:19:21,074 --> 00:19:22,952 - Where we going? - Atlantic City. 510 00:19:22,988 --> 00:19:24,621 That's where you told your friends you'd be, 511 00:19:24,657 --> 00:19:26,096 so that's where they'll find your body. 512 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,357 I'm a captain in the NYPD. 513 00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:31,121 Yeah, and you're also a known gambling addict. 514 00:19:31,157 --> 00:19:33,193 You lost all your money in A.C. 515 00:19:33,229 --> 00:19:35,948 and then drowned yourself in the ocean. 516 00:19:38,447 --> 00:19:40,889 Stay down! 517 00:19:40,925 --> 00:19:42,682 NYPD! Keep your hands on the wheel. 518 00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:45,796 Hey there, Captain Holt. 519 00:19:45,832 --> 00:19:47,471 We just saved your big ol' butt. 520 00:19:47,507 --> 00:19:49,796 Hello, Dan "Daniel" Valdano. 521 00:19:49,832 --> 00:19:52,044 - Guess what. - You're a dick! 522 00:19:52,396 --> 00:19:53,618 Yeah. 523 00:19:53,654 --> 00:19:54,915 How did you find me? 524 00:19:54,951 --> 00:19:56,945 We traced your phone and tracked down the limo. 525 00:19:56,981 --> 00:19:59,451 Wait. How did you even know I was in trouble? 526 00:19:59,487 --> 00:20:01,287 I figured out your tell. 527 00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:04,200 When you're lying, you use contractions. Lots of 'em. 528 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:06,242 I've lost control. I'm taking myself off the case. 529 00:20:06,278 --> 00:20:09,503 I've just done it again. Whoops. There's another time. 530 00:20:09,539 --> 00:20:11,542 I shouldn't've have answered. Shouldn't've answered. 531 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:12,679 Shouldn't've... 532 00:20:12,997 --> 00:20:15,648 It was the "shouldn't've" that finally tipped me off. 533 00:20:15,684 --> 00:20:18,270 I've never heard you use a double contraction before. 534 00:20:18,306 --> 00:20:20,453 And you never will again. 535 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,277 I was at rock bottom. 536 00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:26,663 I feel so embarrassed. 537 00:20:26,699 --> 00:20:28,389 I understand. I've been there. 538 00:20:28,425 --> 00:20:31,035 I once ate a box of uncooked rice in a movie theater. 539 00:20:31,079 --> 00:20:32,317 Wow, really? 540 00:20:32,534 --> 00:20:34,029 - Jake. - I'm sorry. 541 00:20:34,065 --> 00:20:37,427 I owe you two a tremendous debt of gratitude. 542 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:41,541 I was overwhelmed by my addiction and you were there for me. 543 00:20:42,559 --> 00:20:45,211 Of course, sir. We'd do anything for you. 544 00:20:45,247 --> 00:20:48,639 Perhaps you two would take me to a meeting of Gambler's Anonymous. 545 00:20:48,675 --> 00:20:51,200 - Absolutely. - And, Jake, before we go, 546 00:20:51,908 --> 00:20:54,325 - I need to admit one more thing. - Of course, anything. 547 00:20:54,361 --> 00:20:56,123 When I made you tell that table 548 00:20:56,159 --> 00:20:57,507 that you were living in your mother's basement, 549 00:20:57,543 --> 00:20:58,917 it wasn't for the case. 550 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,798 I was just messing with you. 551 00:21:00,834 --> 00:21:03,155 Oh, well played, sir. 552 00:21:03,191 --> 00:21:04,458 But the joke's on you. 553 00:21:04,494 --> 00:21:06,469 My mother has a fantastic basement. 554 00:21:06,505 --> 00:21:07,907 Title of your sex tape. Too soon? 555 00:21:07,943 --> 00:21:09,001 All right, let's go. 556 00:21:10,137 --> 00:21:11,972 Hey, standing desk. 557 00:21:12,008 --> 00:21:13,645 Look who's taking care of herself. 558 00:21:13,681 --> 00:21:16,008 - Someone's not sitting down on the job. - Hey. 559 00:21:16,933 --> 00:21:18,601 Sitting down on the job is damned hard work, 560 00:21:18,637 --> 00:21:20,697 and those heroes prove it every day. 561 00:21:20,733 --> 00:21:22,154 Mad respect. 562 00:21:23,163 --> 00:21:25,585 Okay. Sorry. 563 00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:28,229 Seriously, you guys should stand up once in a while. 564 00:21:28,265 --> 00:21:29,644 You know, for your hearts. 565 00:21:32,955 --> 00:21:36,955 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com