1 00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,606 - Just eating butter like a popsicle, huh, Boyle? 2 00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,109 - Yeah, I know, I'm spoiling myself, 3 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,078 but I'm depressed. Or have you forgotten 4 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,046 that Jake, my best friend, is in prison? 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,514 - Wait, Jake's in prison? - Yeah! 6 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,117 He and Rosa were framed for a bunch of bank robberies 7 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,318 by Lieutenant Hawkins. 8 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,387 - Oh, right. And where's Gina? 9 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,589 - On maternity leave! We were all at her baby shower 10 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,191 last week. - Okay. 11 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,625 And why am I bleeding? 12 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,327 - I don't know, Hitchcock. 13 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,196 - Oh, so you don't have all the answers. 14 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,630 I'm bleeding because my piece-of-crap 15 00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,199 son-in-law bit me. 16 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,566 - Look, we all miss Jake and Rosa, 17 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,335 which is why we have to keep working the case. 18 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,204 There has to be some way to exonerate them. 19 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,072 - I've been looking, but I can't find anything 20 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:39,673 and I don't know what to do. - "I can't find anything 21 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,475 and I don't know what to do": 22 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:44,312 title of your sex tape. - What is happening 23 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:45,546 right now?! - They caught Hawkins 24 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:46,680 trying to flee the country. 25 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,349 She confessed to everything, 26 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,151 and they let me out. - Oh, my God, 27 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,552 Jake, is it really you? Are you really here? 28 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,221 - You know it, baby. - [sighs dreamily] 29 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,489 - But first... I gotta hug my best friend. 30 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:56,524 - Yeah. - What? 31 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,092 - Welcome back, Peralta. 32 00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,427 I just heard from the mayor. 33 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,861 To apologize for what happened to you, 34 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,230 they're sending you to Disney World. 35 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,598 You and one male guest. 36 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:07,135 - As long as I don't have to go on any of the scary rides. 37 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,570 - I'd just go for the shows. - Yeah! [laughs] 38 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,106 all: [chanting] Boyle, Boyle, Boyle! 39 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,142 Boyle, Boyle, Boyle! 40 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,376 - Boyle! 41 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,677 Were you dreaming about Jake again? 42 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,312 - Why did you wake me up?! 43 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:20,214 I told you never to wake me up! 44 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:23,217 [upbeat music] 45 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:30,258 * 46 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:42,203 [Western guitar chords] 47 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,704 * 48 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:47,175 - Wake up! Rise and shine! 49 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,643 [buzzer sounding] 50 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:52,180 - [sighs pleasantly] Good morning, Caleb. 51 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,282 - You woke up happy for once. 52 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:57,151 - You're damn right I did. It's visiting day. 53 00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:58,386 [upbeat whistling music] 54 00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:01,155 It's visiting day! 55 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,523 Happy visiting day. 56 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,425 Happy visiting day, Tommy. You excited 57 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,627 for the family to come? Tino, is Maria on her way? 58 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,662 Miguel, happy visiting day-- 59 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:11,432 and he hung himself. Oh, my God. 60 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,567 Guard! Guard! 61 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,203 - Hi, hey. - Hi. 62 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,638 Oh, man, three weeks is way too long 63 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:20,374 between visits. - I know, I'm so sorry. 64 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,243 It's been so hard to get down to South Carolina between 65 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,412 work and spending every free minute on your case. 66 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,347 - All right, that's enough touching. 67 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,748 - [whispering] You used all the touching time, Amy. 68 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,417 I get 100% of the goodbye touching time. 69 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,385 100%. - So, Charles, I gotta ask: 70 00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:33,387 what's going on with your hair? - Well, it turned white 71 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,456 from the stress, but I didn't want you to worry, 72 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,358 so I dyed it back to my normal color 73 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,727 with a splash of Batali. Do you like it? 74 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,763 - So, how's my case going? Have you found anything 75 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,398 on Hawkins? I've been working it in here. 76 00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:45,633 You know, when no one's watching. 77 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,301 In my cell. At night. In the dark. 78 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,602 I guess I've been mostly thinking about it. 79 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,504 - We're tracking her 24/7. 80 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,540 You know, watching her men, combing her old files, 81 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,342 but she's done a great job at covering her tracks. 82 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,709 - We will find something, babe. 83 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:58,212 I swear. Don't give up hope, okay? 84 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,513 How are they treating you? Are you safe? 85 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,349 - Yeah, I'm in protective custody 86 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,683 because everyone in gen pop hates cops. 87 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,285 I'm not really sure why. Something about us 88 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,519 locking them in cages 89 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:06,654 and letting the world pass them by. 90 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,656 [laughs] - So, it sounds 91 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,424 like you're isolated and haven't had any chance 92 00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,293 to make new friends. - Well, my cellmate, 93 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,228 Caleb, is okay. - Just remember he's in prison. 94 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,364 No matter how small the crime, people don't change 95 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,698 and don't deserve second chances. 96 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,000 - Charles, relax. I'm not gonna replace you. 97 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,502 Trust me, all I've been thinking about 98 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,803 is when you guys are gonna get down here. 99 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,339 And now you are, and we can finally talk. 100 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:26,707 [buzzer sounds] - There's an incident 101 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,576 in the yard. We're going into lockdown. 102 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,010 Inmates, line up. - No. 103 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,579 No, no, no, no, no. 104 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,314 I have 50 more minutes. I need this. 105 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,583 - Back to your cells right now. - No! 106 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,318 My touching time. 107 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,587 * 108 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:42,623 - Sarge, Captain. Oh, you guys brought Hitchcock. 109 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,459 - Uh, no, we just bumped into him in the lobby. 110 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,728 We don't know why he's here. - Jenny, baby! 111 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:51,265 I love what prison's doing to your figure. 112 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:57,037 - Okay. So, how's prison? 113 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,739 - Nobody likes cops in here, so I had to earn their respect 114 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,708 by starting a bunch of riots. Got thrown in solitary 115 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,776 for a week. What's going on with your face? 116 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,346 - I hate seeing you like this, so I'm flexing my eyes 117 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,047 real hard to keep from crying. 118 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,417 It's okay, we can still have a normal conversation. 119 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,419 So...how's the food? 120 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,722 - Pay no attention to him, Rosa. He's very emotional, Rosa. 121 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,624 - Why are you saying my first name? 122 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,792 - Well, Rosa, I read an article in a medical journal 123 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:20,761 that said one destabilizing aspect 124 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,764 of incarceration is the constant dehumanization, 125 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,566 Rosa. You need to be reminded 126 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,635 that you're more than just a number, Rosa. 127 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,504 You are Rosa...Rosa. 128 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,506 - Yup, that fixes prison. - Is there anything we can do 129 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:33,907 to help you? Anything you need done 130 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,709 on the outside? - No, I'm good. 131 00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,345 - It's not a problem. - Rosa. 132 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,579 - We're here for you. - Rosa. 133 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,315 - Whatever you need. - Rosa. 134 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,386 - Okay, I'll come up with a list. 135 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,521 - The alarm went off before we could even talk. 136 00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,089 - Aw, that's too bad, bud. 137 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,591 But at least you have people that wanna come 138 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,493 and visit you. My family hasn't been 139 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,928 to see my since my trial. You eat nine people 140 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,464 and all of the sudden they "don't know 141 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,831 who you are anymore." 142 00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,601 - Wait...what? 143 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,737 Did you say "eat people"? Are you a cannibal, Caleb? 144 00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,407 - Well, that's not how I would define myself. 145 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,808 If we're going by what I'm most passionate about, 146 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,543 I would say that I'm a woodworker. 147 00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,545 Why did you think I was in protective custody? 148 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,547 - I don't know, I guess I hoped you were another cop 149 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,416 wrongly convicted of crimes you didn't commit. 150 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,685 - Nope, I did all my stuff and more. 151 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,520 There's tons they can't even trace to me. 152 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,355 The secret is eating the evidence. 153 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,624 - Okay, this is just great. I don't see anyone 154 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,393 from the outside for another three weeks 155 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,694 and my only friend here is a cannibal. 156 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,696 - Woodworker. Look, if you really wanna 157 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,464 talk to people on the outside, 158 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,832 just get a cell phone. - Yeah, that'd be great, 159 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,567 but it's illegal, right? - There's this guy 160 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,703 in gen pop--Romero. He can smuggle anything 161 00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:38,439 into this place: phones, drugs, 162 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,441 big bag of hair. - Why would you want that? 163 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:41,842 You know what? Don't tell me. 164 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,377 The less I know about you, the better. 165 00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:45,413 Okay, let's find this Romero guy. 166 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,847 - Right now? I really wanna chomp down 167 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,916 on this meat. - Caleb... 168 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,818 - This is scary. 169 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,486 I don't like being so near gen pop. 170 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,921 - It's fine. It's not like they're 171 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,856 all waiting for an opportunity to kill us. 172 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,525 I'm sure some of them are actually nice, 173 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,393 like this gentle giant here. 174 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:00,861 Hello, sir, what brings you to the fence today? 175 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,530 - Just here to stab you if you get too close. 176 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,166 - Neat. Caleb, remind me 177 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,501 not to stand too close to the fence. 178 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,870 - Will do. Oh, here's Romero. 179 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,705 - So, what's up? You need another bag of hair? 180 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:13,006 - Yeah. - No. 181 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,775 - We'll talk later. Same order, though. 182 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,477 - I hear you're the man to talk to 183 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,446 about getting a cell phone. - I am. 184 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,514 But it'll cost you. Phone's 100. 185 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,716 - $100? That's no problem. - [scoffs] I got no use 186 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,553 for cash. I want 100 soups. 187 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,820 - Soups? - Yeah, ramen. 188 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,188 They're like a major currency in here. 189 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,657 - Really? That is very surprising. 190 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,891 - You can't smoke anymore, 191 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,826 so ramen has replaced cigarettes. 192 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,762 NPR did a big thing on it. - I thought they sold ramen 193 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,997 at the prison commissary. - I don't want commissary soups, 194 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,032 you stupid little bitch boy. - Okay, that's fair. 195 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,634 I deserve that. - I want flavors 196 00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:42,035 you can only get on the outside-- 197 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,438 chili-lime shrimp, southwestern chicken-- 198 00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,507 street flavors. - Picante beef. 199 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,642 Oh, that's my favorite. 200 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,779 - Get me picante beef, bitch boy. 201 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,683 - Okay, so I just get some ramen 202 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,918 and then I get a cell phone. Prison is easy. 203 00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,788 [screams] - You stood too close 204 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,790 to the fence. - Yeah, I know, Caleb! 205 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,492 * 206 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,594 - Captain, Diaz sent us a list of favors 207 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,662 she needs us to do for her. She didn't hold back. 208 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,831 First, she wants us to move all her furniture 209 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,533 into storage. - Okay. 210 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,934 - Then file her taxes for her. - Really? 211 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,470 - And then she wants us to type up and email 212 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,006 these letters to Pimento in Argentina. 213 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,742 - Are they sexual in nature? - Crazy sexual. 214 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,944 But we can't say no. She's behind bars 215 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,580 and we made a promise. - Right. You're right. 216 00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:29,249 - Oh, also, she's worried about her motorcycle 217 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,918 sitting idle, so she wants us to take it out 218 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,953 once a day. Here. 219 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,556 - I think you should do this. You're more the biker type. 220 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,024 I've seen you use a toothpick in public. 221 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,992 - Motorcycles are death machines. 222 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:41,061 I have three kids. I'm not risking it. 223 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,030 - Are you saying my life matters less 224 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,832 because I don't conform 225 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,535 to society's heteronormative, child-centric ideals? 226 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,837 - Are you really playing the gay card right now? 227 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,972 - [in blank tone] Yas, queen. 228 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,273 [snaps] 229 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,775 - Thanks for coming down again. 230 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,276 What's going on at work? - Not much. 231 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,646 I'm investigating a big-time money launderer. 232 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,782 Moves tons of cash... under the table. 233 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,585 [upbeat music] 234 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,587 It was stressful, because the brass got involved, 235 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,989 so there were a lot of eyes on the operation. 236 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,525 * 237 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:12,993 But in the end, they gave us room to work. 238 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:17,297 - Well, sounds like it was a very successful operation. 239 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:21,134 * 240 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,004 - Here you go, bro. 241 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:27,875 105 picante beef. - Great. 242 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,610 I'll keep five packs for myself. 243 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,144 - What do you want me to do with the rest? 244 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,547 - Thanks for the soups. Here's your cell phone. 245 00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:35,148 - Thank you. And by the way, 246 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,017 as someone who's eaten a lot of ramen in his life, 247 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,886 here's a tip: leave a few noodles uncooked 248 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,655 and then sprinkle them on top afterwards like a garnish. 249 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:45,793 Gives you an extra little fun bonus crunch. 250 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:46,860 - [grunts] - Ha-ha! 251 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,929 Saw you coming that time. 252 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,665 Like who's got prison all figured-- 253 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:52,900 [shouts] He threw the shiv. 254 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,902 You can't do that! 255 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,837 [sighs happily] I can't believe I'm hearing your voice. 256 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,739 - I know. It's so amazing. 257 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,574 - And now every day can be like visiting day, 258 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,175 and we can just talk about whatever, whenever-- 259 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,144 - Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake-Jake-Jake-Jake-Jake. 260 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,680 - I gotta go. - Jake? 261 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,048 - Hey, warden. What's up? 262 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,783 - What the hell are these? I found them 263 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,085 doing a sweep of your bunks. - Oh, uh... 264 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,187 we got those at the commissary. - Picante beef. 265 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,789 - You think I don't know 266 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,124 that picante beef is a street flavor? 267 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,026 I was being kind to you by putting you two 268 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,828 in protective custody, but if you're gonna 269 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:23,797 bring contraband into my prison and flaunt my rules, 270 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,065 pack your bags. 271 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,967 You're going to gen pop. - Gen pop? 272 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,836 But my tough prison beard hasn't fully grown in yet. 273 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,003 Just give me six or seven more years. 274 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,308 [buzzer sounds] 275 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,177 - I can't believe we're going to gen pop. 276 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,747 A cop and a cannibal? 277 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,615 Everybody's gonna be trying to kill us. 278 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,216 - I know. What are we gonna do? 279 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,718 - You're a psychopath. You can protect us in there, 280 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:46,353 right? I mean, you killed and ate 281 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,088 a bunch of people. - They were children, Jake. 282 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,624 Weak little children. One conk on the head 283 00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,392 was all it took. - Damn it. 284 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,062 I can't believe I'm friends with a cowardly cannibal. 285 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,230 - Here she comes. Big smiles. 286 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,301 - Hey, Rosa. - Hey. How's my bike? 287 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,070 - Great. It actually was a lot of fun 288 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,005 to ride--once I got the hang of it. 289 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,674 [screaming] 290 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,742 [cars honking] 291 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,778 - And you were able to finish everything on my list? 292 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,279 It wasn't too much, was it? 293 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,081 - No. - Not at all. 294 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,650 - If anything, you didn't ask enough of us. 295 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:19,019 - Great, 'cause I thought of a few more things. 296 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,221 Oh, were you able to send that email to Adrian? 297 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,389 - Oh, yes, he wrote back right away. 298 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,391 It wasn't as graphic as I feared. 299 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:27,227 He wrote the number eight... 300 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,330 equal sign, equal sign, equal sign, equal sign, 301 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:36,103 equal sign, equal sign, equal sign, capital D... 302 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,105 oh. I see what this is. 303 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,372 This is a-- - Yup. 304 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,308 - [sighs] Cream turkey. 305 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,243 You know, what I could really go for is-- 306 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,345 - People potpie? - First of all, Jake, 307 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,380 great alliteration. Second of all, 308 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,149 just because I was arrested for cannibalism 309 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,151 doesn't mean that all I like to eat is people. 310 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,821 I was gonna say "a chicken burrito." 311 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:58,125 Man, my cousin was so tasty. - Oh, come on. 312 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,027 Oop--hello. 313 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,029 - You're gonna die in here, cop. 314 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,732 [dramatic music] 315 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,300 What's up, Caleb? - 'Sup, Chico? 316 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,803 It's so crazy. They hate you so much, 317 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:14,041 they don't even care about me. - Yeah, congratulations. 318 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,843 I think I'm gonna need to join a gang. 319 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,745 And that way I'll have protection 320 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,412 and no one will mess with me. - I don't know, man. 321 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,414 Joining a gang is not that easy. - It would be for me. 322 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,117 I once took a seminar on how to ace job interviews, 323 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,286 and I'm really good at them. - Really? 324 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:29,289 This I've gotta see. - Hey, everyone, I'm Jake. 325 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,324 Thank you so much for sitting down with me. 326 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,160 I just need a moment of your time, 327 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,228 and then you can get back to watching your stories. 328 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,897 What can I tell you about myself? 329 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,299 Well, I'm hardworking, incredibly motivated. 330 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,434 I can make a shiv out of anything. 331 00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:44,171 I am deceptively athletic. I'm not sure if your gang likes 332 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,774 to play B-ball out in the yard, but I can dunk. 333 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,341 Oakley... [sighs] 334 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,778 And I'm just super excited to join-- 335 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,213 what are you guys called again? - ISIS. 336 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,348 - ISIS... 337 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,784 cool. 338 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,819 Well, I am excited to join... 339 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,353 ISIS. 340 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,824 - I can't believe I went 0 for 16. 341 00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,326 I got rejected by my safety gang. 342 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,195 I'm gonna die in here. 343 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,830 - Well, there is one more option, 344 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,531 but it's a long shot. Remember that guy Romero 345 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,533 who you got the cell phone from? If you got in good 346 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,203 with his crew, nobody would dare touch you. 347 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,471 But he is real scary and crazy. 348 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,373 - Okay, and how anti-Semitic is he? 349 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,277 - Average? - Then let's give it a shot! 350 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:27,514 - So, Picante Beef, I hear you wanna be 351 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,549 part of my crew. - Not ideally the nickname 352 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,284 I would've chosen for myself, but yes, 353 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,886 I think I could be of help to you. 354 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,955 - Do you know how long I've been in this prison? 355 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:38,125 17 years! 356 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,860 - Well, you look great. - And not once, 357 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,395 in all of that time, Beefy... - It's just "Beefy" now? 358 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,565 - Have I ever seen anything as disrespectful 359 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:49,136 as a cop coming into my prison 360 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,238 telling me how to eat my soups! 361 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,408 But damn! 362 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,345 Crumbling the noodle on top gives it an extra 363 00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,546 little crispity-snap! 364 00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,849 I was blown away. Wasn't I, Tank? 365 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,550 - Hasn't stopped talking about it. 366 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,819 - Come here, Beef Baby! - [chuckles] 367 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,357 Great. So, does this mean 368 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,160 that I'm part of the crew? - Nobody can touch you now. 369 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,362 - Wow, guess all it took was the ramen tip. 370 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:16,930 - Actually, you gotta do one more thing for me 371 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,866 to close the deal. - Absolutely no problem. 372 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,868 Actually, I have a great idea for a ramen dessert. 373 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:24,504 You make it with Jell-O mix. - I need you to kill a guard. 374 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,907 - [strained] Oh...okay. Great. 375 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,508 Cool-cool-cool-cool, cool-cool-cool. 376 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,244 Beef Baby's out for blood. [laughs] 377 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,345 So... 378 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,851 - Okay... this guard you're gonna kill, Wilson-- 379 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,219 - Oh, I'd rather not know his name. 380 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,021 - It's Alan Wilson. He's got a three-year-old, 381 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,289 Dexter. They call him Dex. 382 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,091 - Cool. I'm not worried at all 383 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,592 about little Dex. I'm sure he'll be fine. 384 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,127 I mean, I grew up without a dad. - Yeah? 385 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,896 Me too. - So did I. 386 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,030 - See? And we're all doing great. 387 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,631 Can I ask what this Wilson did 388 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,166 to deserve this? - He beat the crap out of me. 389 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,902 - How? - More importantly, he keeps 390 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,037 interfering with my business interests. 391 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,305 - But it's about my thing too, right? 392 00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,606 - Of course. 393 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,308 [mouths word] 394 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,611 How are you gonna do it? Shiv him, shank him, stab him? 395 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,947 - Are those different? 396 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,216 - Oh, boy. Should I be asking 397 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,184 someone else to do this? - No, no, no, no. 398 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,920 It's fine. I'm gonna prove myself to you. 399 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,889 But what if instead of killing Wilson, 400 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,424 we get him fired? That way, you don't have 401 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,959 another man's death on your conscience. 402 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,227 - Yeah, that doesn't bother me. 403 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,929 - No, of course not. Why would it? 404 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,430 But if we murder him, there's gonna be 405 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:25,132 an investigation, and that could bring a lot of heat 406 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,934 down on you, you know? - I can see that. 407 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,201 But that's not how we usually do things around here. 408 00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,937 - Sure, but you know what else 409 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,438 you didn't used to do around here... 410 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,406 Sprinkle uncooked noodles on top of your ramen. 411 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,347 - You're right. You're right. 412 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,449 You've earned the benefit of the doubt. 413 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,417 You have 24 hours, Beef Baby. 414 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,954 - Jake. - Beef Baby. 415 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,088 - Jake. - Beef Baby. 416 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,222 - Jake. - Beef Baby. 417 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,357 - Jake. - Beef Baby. 418 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,192 - Jake. - Beef. Baby! 419 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,695 - Beef Baby. 420 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,097 [whispering] Okay, here's the plan. 421 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,932 Tank said Wilson beats up inmates, 422 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,367 so all I have to do is get him to attack me 423 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,202 and then file a complaint with the prison board. 424 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,371 - Sure, but whenever the bulls attack us-- 425 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,940 which happens all the time-- the security cameras 426 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,375 are conveniently not working that day, 427 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,677 so it's just your word against theirs. 428 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:13,213 - Well, lucky for me, I have my own camera. 429 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,315 It's the perfect plan. Hey, I've never 430 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,950 been beaten up by a prison guard before. 431 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,385 They don't use that baton, do they? 432 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,120 - You seem pretty committed to this plan, 433 00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,989 so there's no real benefit to me answering. 434 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,156 - Sounds good. 435 00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,524 - So, you painted my apartment? 436 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,994 - Walls in "White Wisp," trim in "Honeymilk." 437 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,361 - And you filed my taxes. - You're getting 438 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,163 your maximum refund. - And picked up 439 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,032 my abuela at the airport? - Yes, I went and got her 440 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,234 at the Philadelphia International Airport in... 441 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,069 Pennsylvania. - And you broke the news to her 442 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,537 about how I got sent to prison and she'll probably die 443 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,239 before I get out? - Mm-hmm, had that 444 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,707 fun conversation. - But it was all worth it 445 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,343 for you, you poor little caged bird. 446 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,145 - Great, because I have another favor to ask. 447 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,446 - Another? - Yeah, I need you 448 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,947 to cancel my cable. 449 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,517 - That's it? 450 00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:54,287 That's easy. 451 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,989 I've been on the phone for six hours 452 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,991 and I just wanna cancel an account. 453 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,292 Yes, you've mentioned the bundles 454 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,161 and I don't want home phone service. 455 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,496 No, do not transfer me, Rodrigo--no, no! 456 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,333 No, Rodrigo! 457 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,035 - All right, there's Wilson. 458 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,070 I'll go make him mad. When he attacks me, 459 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,005 you film it. Then afterwards, 460 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,540 we'll meet up in the bathroom. - Okay, great. 461 00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:14,741 What are you gonna do to get him angry? 462 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,209 - Well, I don't know him, 463 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:17,444 so I'm not sure what buttons to push, 464 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,346 but I'm sure if I try enough things, 465 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:22,015 something will set him off. 466 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,516 Excuse me, can I ask you a question? 467 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:25,418 - Get back to your table. - Yeah, you know, I would, 468 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,454 except for... [grunts] 469 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,289 Oh, my God, that's all it took? - I told you 470 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,024 to get back to your table! 471 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,526 [thwacking, grunting] 472 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,362 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 473 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,197 What hurts the most is knowing 474 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,598 that prisoners are treated this way every day 475 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:40,233 in our penal system... also, he kicked me 476 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,069 in the wiener a bunch. - Mm. 477 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,470 - Show me the video. I'll send it to Charles, 478 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,372 he'll say he got it anonymously, and then... 479 00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,574 [grunting, shouting] Oh, my God, that's all it took? 480 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,277 Caleb, is this it? Did you film yourself 481 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,511 the whole time? - Okay, look, I've been 482 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,580 in prison for 15 years. I'm not good 483 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,448 with new technology. - [sighs] 484 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,084 - You want somebody to lure a kid to a park 485 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,419 using a Lycos chatroom, I'm your man. 486 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,321 - Look, just press this button 487 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,157 and make it front-facing. Come on, let's try it again. 488 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,592 Hey, Wilson... 489 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:09,329 - [grunts] - [shouting] 490 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,630 Please tell me you were pointed 491 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,232 in the right direction that time. 492 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,634 - Yes, but there was a different issue. 493 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,237 [shouting, grunting] 494 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,107 - Caleb! You added the fiesta filter? 495 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,375 - I'm doing the best I can. - Tell that to my wiener! 496 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:25,178 - I'm doing the-- - No, don't really--gosh... 497 00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:26,546 [thwacking, screaming] 498 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:29,416 Okay, how'd you screw it up this time? 499 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,251 - I didn't. I got everything. 500 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,120 I even zoomed in for some close-ups. 501 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,122 - Oh, thank God. 502 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,190 I was so sure that something was gonna go wrong. 503 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,558 - Hey there, Peralta. 504 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:42,095 Oh, I'll take that phone now. - [sighs] 505 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,667 - I heard an inmate and a guard were having a fight, 506 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,536 so I go to do what I normally do: 507 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,704 turn off the security cameras. - Yup, cool policy. 508 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,506 This place is great. - And that's when I noticed 509 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,775 your cannibal pal taping the whole fight 510 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,810 with an illegal cell phone. And what were you planning 511 00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,213 on doing with this? Blackmailing Wilson? 512 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:01,814 - No, I was trying to save his life. 513 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:03,516 - Ah, come on. - Honestly. 514 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,851 I was ordered by this guy, Romero. 515 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,586 I don't know his first name. - Jeff? 516 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:07,887 - Really? Romero's first name is Jeff? 517 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,756 - Yeah. - Anyway, Jeff ordered me 518 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,258 to kill Wilson, but I convinced him to let 519 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,160 your guy live if I got him fired instead. 520 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,894 - Why do you want him to lose his job? 521 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,863 He's a good man with a family. - I mean, he did stomp 522 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,132 on my head a bunch of times. - Those were warning stomps. 523 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,234 What are you, part of Romero's crew now? 524 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,603 - No, I was trying to get in. That's what the video was for, 525 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,205 but obviously, it didn't work. - All right. 526 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,542 I'll fire Wilson. - Really? 527 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,278 Why? - Romero's responsible 528 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,146 for most of the illegal stuff that goes on in this prison. 529 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,747 I've always wanted a man on the inside. 530 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,716 - Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 531 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,718 The only people less popular in here than cops are snitches. 532 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,220 - Well, let's be honest, 533 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,588 it's not great in here for trans people. 534 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,922 - That is so true. - I know. 535 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,292 They have a hard time. - It's a problem. 536 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,727 Regardless, I won't snitch, okay? 537 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,596 It's too dangerous. I'll find some other way 538 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,697 to stay alive. - All right. 539 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:51,831 Good luck with that. 540 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,267 * 541 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,604 - [sighs] Wait. 542 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,839 I'll do what you want... 543 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,741 if you let me keep my phone. 544 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:04,211 - So, were you able to cancel my cable? 545 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,678 - Of course. It was easy. 546 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,847 - Good, because I have something else. 547 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,782 I need you to take my dog to Argentina 548 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,651 to be with Adrian on his ranch. Now, I know what you're gonna 549 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:12,919 ask me, and the answer is no, 550 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,321 I don't have a map of the booby traps, 551 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,555 but I can tell you how he thinks. 552 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,190 - Enough! 553 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,891 I'm sorry. I hate to say this, 554 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:22,829 but you're asking too much of us. 555 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,297 - Is that how you feel too, Sarge? 556 00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,934 - Yeah, Rosa, damn. - Good, finally. 557 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,637 - What? - Look, prison is awful. 558 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,739 I hate it here. I'm lonely, I'm scared. 559 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,641 I just wanna be back home, and I was happy 560 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,343 you guys were coming to visit, but then you started 561 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,245 calling me by my first name, and you kept making 562 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,247 that crazy crying face. The only one that is acting 563 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,915 like himself is Hitchcock. - You! 564 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:46,253 Shirt back on! - Stop being such a prude. 565 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:47,987 - If I'm gonna get through this, I need to feel like 566 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,358 my old life isn't gone. I need normal interactions. 567 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,859 So, I need you guys to fight with me, 568 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,561 and be honest with me, and tell me no 569 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,596 when I'm being unreasonable. 570 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,566 - Okay, I promise: no more crying face. 571 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,368 - [sighs] - And no more pity...Diaz. 572 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,669 - Thank you. I can't believe it took 573 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,936 that long. I really thought 574 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,605 the cable company was gonna break you. 575 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,307 - It did. But the good news is, 576 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,376 you now have Epix, plus some channel 577 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,744 called "Tunez," with a Z. 578 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:12,945 Two-year commitment. 579 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,683 - What else? Oh, you're never gonna 580 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,285 believe this. I've been reading. 581 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,420 - Reading? Like, books by real authors? 582 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,589 - I don't know, is Philip Roth a real author? 583 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,957 - Oh, my goodness! 584 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,759 I wish you had gone to prison years ago. 585 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,828 I'm kidding. Obviously, I'm not 586 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:30,763 more attracted to you now than before. 587 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,699 [laughing nervously] 588 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:33,866 So, what else have you been reading? 589 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,436 - Oh, hang on one sec. 590 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,705 Hey, boss, what's up? - I saw you got Wilson fired. 591 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,640 Nice work. Welcome aboard. 592 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:41,974 - Thank you. I promise you, 593 00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,776 you won't regret it. 594 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:44,777 [grunts] 595 00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,379 [tense music] 596 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,647 - Just one more thing. 597 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,350 I know you used to be a cop. 598 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,386 If you screw me over, I will cut your testicles off 599 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,987 and watch you bleed to death in the dirt. 600 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:57,790 You got that? 601 00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,426 Can I trust you? 602 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,329 - Yeah. I got nothing to hide. 603 00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,697 I'm your Beef Baby. 604 00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:08,768 * 605 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,872 Hey, sorry about that. 606 00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,742 Where were we? - Jake, that sounded really bad. 607 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,344 Is everything okay? - Yeah. 608 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:20,780 Everything's fine. I'm talking to you.