1
00:00:00,964 --> 00:00:02,297
Listen up, everyone.
2
00:00:02,298 --> 00:00:04,332
While Captain Holt's out of town
at his conference,
3
00:00:04,333 --> 00:00:06,635
I'm in charge,
which means, Jake,
4
00:00:06,636 --> 00:00:08,337
I order you to throw out
that gingerbread house.
5
00:00:08,338 --> 00:00:09,805
- It's from Christmas.
- Fine
6
00:00:09,806 --> 00:00:12,107
But you're gonna be leaving
a lot of ants with no home.
7
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:15,610
Check it out, losers.
Guess who got their dealer!
8
00:00:15,645 --> 00:00:17,212
Nice!
How'd it go down?
9
00:00:17,246 --> 00:00:18,614
We chased him
through a subway tunnel,
10
00:00:18,648 --> 00:00:20,890
back up through the storm drain,
Adrian and I got engaged,
11
00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:24,853
and then we busted him with a
half kilo of coke in his sock.
12
00:00:24,854 --> 00:00:26,455
Wait, wait, wait.
13
00:00:26,456 --> 00:00:28,357
- What'd you just say?
- It was in his sock.
14
00:00:28,358 --> 00:00:31,735
These dummies, they never think
we're gonna check their socks.
15
00:00:31,761 --> 00:00:34,571
No, before that, weirdo.
The getting engaged part?
16
00:00:34,597 --> 00:00:35,664
Oh, yeah.
We got engaged.
17
00:00:35,698 --> 00:00:37,265
- Engaged engaged?
- Yeah.
18
00:00:37,266 --> 00:00:38,600
- As in, to be wed?
- Yeah.
19
00:00:38,635 --> 00:00:39,901
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
20
00:00:39,902 --> 00:00:41,970
Amazing!
We wants deets.
21
00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:43,872
Tell us everything!
22
00:00:43,873 --> 00:00:45,273
I don't want to toot
my own horn or anything,
23
00:00:45,308 --> 00:00:47,909
but it was super romantic.
24
00:00:52,215 --> 00:00:53,798
You follow.
I'll cut him off in the alley.
25
00:00:53,816 --> 00:00:55,250
Okay, wait.
You want to get married?
26
00:00:55,285 --> 00:00:56,476
Yep.
27
00:00:56,477 --> 00:01:00,209
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
28
00:01:17,006 --> 00:01:19,574
Jake, can I talk to you about
my wedding for a second?
29
00:01:19,575 --> 00:01:20,876
Need help choosing a dress?
30
00:01:20,877 --> 00:01:22,778
Big puffy bow in the back,
can't go wrong.
31
00:01:22,812 --> 00:01:24,146
No to all of that.
32
00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:25,981
Look, Adrian is about to ask you
to be his best man.
33
00:01:25,982 --> 00:01:28,317
I need you to say yes
and I need you to act surprised.
34
00:01:28,318 --> 00:01:31,019
No problem.
Check this out.
35
00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:34,656
What? What?
36
00:01:34,691 --> 00:01:36,458
Best... best man?
37
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:38,026
- All right, I'll work on it.
- Okay.
38
00:01:38,061 --> 00:01:40,028
Sarge does not approve
of the wedding,
39
00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:41,513
and honestly, it is killing me.
40
00:01:41,531 --> 00:01:42,864
I'm sure you're just
reading into it.
41
00:01:42,865 --> 00:01:44,232
No.
42
00:01:44,233 --> 00:01:45,267
What are you doing?
43
00:01:45,268 --> 00:01:46,601
Pimento is nuts!
44
00:01:46,636 --> 00:01:48,704
Ah, so not
reading into it at all.
45
00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:50,606
He thinks we're rushing
into things, but we're not.
46
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:51,873
I love Adrian.
47
00:01:51,874 --> 00:01:53,875
Every time I see him,
my heart just explodes.
48
00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:56,178
Wow, that's, like, some
Lionel Ritchie-grade love stuff.
49
00:01:56,212 --> 00:01:57,679
Anyway, I think Sarge
would like him
50
00:01:57,714 --> 00:01:59,681
if he actually got to know him,
so during the bachelor party,
51
00:01:59,716 --> 00:02:01,658
I need you to show him
the real Adrian.
52
00:02:01,684 --> 00:02:03,518
Rosa Diaz, I promise you this.
53
00:02:03,519 --> 00:02:05,153
I will make sure
Sarge loves him.
54
00:02:05,188 --> 00:02:07,022
Great.
Crap, here comes Adrian.
55
00:02:07,023 --> 00:02:08,323
- You never saw me.
- All right.
56
00:02:08,324 --> 00:02:09,625
Act surprised.
57
00:02:09,659 --> 00:02:12,194
Hey, Jake, come here.
I got a question for you.
58
00:02:12,195 --> 00:02:13,895
Sure.
59
00:02:13,896 --> 00:02:15,364
Oh, that's very close
for a question.
60
00:02:15,365 --> 00:02:20,335
Jake Peralta, will you do me
the honor of being my best man?
61
00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:21,770
Best man?
62
00:02:21,771 --> 00:02:24,639
Adrian, this is all so sudden!
63
00:02:24,641 --> 00:02:26,108
- Rosa told you?
- Yeah.
64
00:02:26,109 --> 00:02:28,143
- But I would be honored.
- Thank God.
65
00:02:28,144 --> 00:02:29,645
- I'm gonna kiss you now.
- Oh, you don't have to.
66
00:02:29,679 --> 00:02:31,580
- Already did it.
- That seals it.
67
00:02:31,614 --> 00:02:33,415
So who you thinking about
inviting to the bachelor party?
68
00:02:33,416 --> 00:02:36,852
Maybe, like, Terry,
or, I don't know, Terry's great.
69
00:02:36,853 --> 00:02:39,621
Or probably Terry is available,
we could ask him.
70
00:02:39,656 --> 00:02:41,156
Sure, nah, I was thinking
all the guys from work.
71
00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:43,358
Except Chuck.
Rosa called dibs on him.
72
00:02:43,393 --> 00:02:47,062
Maid of honor?
Yes, a million times, yes!
73
00:02:47,096 --> 00:02:48,764
It would be an honor.
74
00:02:48,765 --> 00:02:51,433
Oh, my God,
that's why they call it that.
75
00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:53,835
Great, but I specifically
said, "co-maid-of-honor,"
76
00:02:53,836 --> 00:02:57,739
because I am also asking
Amy and Gina.
77
00:02:57,740 --> 00:02:59,107
I guess that's okay,
78
00:02:59,142 --> 00:03:00,876
if you want to water down
your Charles Boyle
79
00:03:00,877 --> 00:03:02,411
with a couple of ice cubes.
80
00:03:02,445 --> 00:03:05,113
Count me in as long
as I get eight plus-ones.
81
00:03:05,114 --> 00:03:07,583
Guys, focus.
We need to start planning.
82
00:03:07,584 --> 00:03:08,951
So when's the wedding?
83
00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:10,819
Next summer,
next fall, next winter?
84
00:03:10,853 --> 00:03:11,820
Next week.
85
00:03:11,855 --> 00:03:13,088
- Next what?
- Next week?
86
00:03:13,089 --> 00:03:14,990
That is not enough time
to plan a bridal shower,
87
00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:16,191
an engagement brunch,
88
00:03:16,192 --> 00:03:18,560
a papier-mâché sculpture
of you two kissing.
89
00:03:18,595 --> 00:03:19,962
Don't worry about that stuff.
90
00:03:19,963 --> 00:03:22,631
The one dumb wedding thing
I've always wanted
91
00:03:22,665 --> 00:03:24,032
was a bachelorette party.
92
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:25,467
Ah, so, cool, cool, cool.
93
00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:28,136
All the pressure's on that one
event, cool, cool, very cool.
94
00:03:28,171 --> 00:03:30,439
Super excited for the big night.
95
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,241
Well, I'm happy she's excited.
96
00:03:32,275 --> 00:03:34,810
I'm not sleeping
for the next 24 hours.
97
00:03:34,811 --> 00:03:37,779
Amen, sister.
Amen.
98
00:03:37,814 --> 00:03:39,214
All right, gents,
99
00:03:39,215 --> 00:03:41,283
Pimento's bachelor party
is tomorrow night.
100
00:03:41,317 --> 00:03:42,684
I've gotten us a party bus,
101
00:03:42,685 --> 00:03:45,220
reservations
at a delightful steakhouse,
102
00:03:45,255 --> 00:03:48,891
and a DVD copy of "American
Beauty" to watch at midnight.
103
00:03:48,892 --> 00:03:50,726
That last thing
was his only request.
104
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,127
I'm not sure
if it's his favorite movie
105
00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:53,462
or if he's just never seen it.
106
00:03:53,488 --> 00:03:55,438
I'm surprised he didn't
want us all to get drunk
107
00:03:55,465 --> 00:03:56,999
and slash each other
with machetes.
108
00:03:57,033 --> 00:03:59,134
He's not exactly stable.
109
00:03:59,135 --> 00:04:01,303
Die, bug!
110
00:04:01,337 --> 00:04:05,440
Oh, no, he's dead.
Oh, what have I done?
111
00:04:05,475 --> 00:04:06,908
That was 18 days ago.
112
00:04:06,943 --> 00:04:08,310
He's getting saner
by the minute.
113
00:04:08,311 --> 00:04:10,245
In a month, he'll basically
just be Frasier.
114
00:04:10,246 --> 00:04:11,813
Don't use Frasier's name
in vain.
115
00:04:11,848 --> 00:04:13,148
- Copy that.
- Yeah, Sarge.
116
00:04:13,149 --> 00:04:15,117
If Jake wants to pay for us
to have a fun night out,
117
00:04:15,118 --> 00:04:16,385
let's not stop him.
118
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,753
I'm not paying for it.
We're splitting it.
119
00:04:17,754 --> 00:04:19,462
Well, then, I'm with Terry.
This wedding's a sham.
120
00:04:19,489 --> 00:04:20,964
I'm looking out for Rosa,
121
00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:22,891
like I'd look out for
anyone in my squad.
122
00:04:22,926 --> 00:04:24,126
I get it, but you're
just saying that
123
00:04:24,127 --> 00:04:25,761
'cause you don't know
the real Adrian.
124
00:04:25,762 --> 00:04:27,930
And this bachelor party
is gonna change all that.
125
00:04:27,964 --> 00:04:30,098
We're gonna eat steaks,
we're gonna smoke cigars.
126
00:04:30,099 --> 00:04:31,333
We're gonna look
at naked ladies.
127
00:04:31,334 --> 00:04:33,142
No, Hitchcock,
we're keeping it classy.
128
00:04:33,169 --> 00:04:35,671
- Right, just their boobs.
- No, no boobs.
129
00:04:35,672 --> 00:04:38,206
Look, Sarge, Rosa loves him.
130
00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:39,983
Will you at least promise me
you'll keep an open mind?
131
00:04:40,009 --> 00:04:41,443
Fine, mind open.
132
00:04:41,444 --> 00:04:42,678
But for the record,
133
00:04:42,679 --> 00:04:44,012
I think they're making
a mistake,
134
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:46,156
and this whole thing
is gonna blow up.
135
00:04:46,182 --> 00:04:49,051
Fun attitude.
Save it for the party bus.
136
00:04:49,085 --> 00:04:52,621
Rosa, we could really use your
input on the bachelorette party.
137
00:04:52,622 --> 00:04:56,325
See, we all have different ideas
and no one is compromising.
138
00:04:56,359 --> 00:04:59,669
I would compromise,
but I refuse to not do mine.
139
00:04:59,696 --> 00:05:01,964
- Whose idea is best?
- Excellent question.
140
00:05:01,998 --> 00:05:05,934
Here's a rundown of mine, the
"elevator pitch," if you will.
141
00:05:05,969 --> 00:05:07,469
Has this ever happened to you?
142
00:05:07,503 --> 00:05:08,704
You show up at
a bachelorette party...
143
00:05:08,705 --> 00:05:10,639
Ding, the elevator doors closed.
144
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,675
No one can hear you.
We cannot hear you.
145
00:05:13,676 --> 00:05:17,913
Now before I tell you my idea,
are you allergic to dolphins?
146
00:05:17,914 --> 00:05:19,548
Why don't we just do
all three parties?
147
00:05:19,582 --> 00:05:21,884
Oh, and then you pick
your favorite at the end.
148
00:05:21,885 --> 00:05:23,218
I.E., mine.
149
00:05:23,253 --> 00:05:24,720
- Sounds good.
- Sounds great.
150
00:05:24,754 --> 00:05:27,530
May the best maid win.
151
00:05:27,557 --> 00:05:29,925
Wow, how cool is this?
152
00:05:29,926 --> 00:05:32,535
A TV on a bus?
I never thought I'd see that.
153
00:05:32,562 --> 00:05:33,762
Where's the groom already?
154
00:05:33,763 --> 00:05:35,831
Who doesn't show up on time
for their own party?
155
00:05:35,832 --> 00:05:37,132
You mean, besides Gina?
156
00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:39,568
Every year without fail.
Yeah.
157
00:05:39,602 --> 00:05:41,837
Look, you said you'd keep
an open mind for Pimento.
158
00:05:41,838 --> 00:05:43,272
He'll show.
Just give him a shot.
159
00:05:43,273 --> 00:05:44,573
Is everybody comfortable
back there?
160
00:05:44,607 --> 00:05:46,508
Does anybody need any...
aah!
161
00:05:46,509 --> 00:05:47,976
Sir, are you okay?
162
00:05:47,977 --> 00:05:49,311
Hello?
163
00:05:49,312 --> 00:05:51,046
We need to go now!
164
00:05:51,047 --> 00:05:52,915
Okay, just keep that mind open.
165
00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:56,084
I'm sure there's a perfectly
stable explanation for this.
166
00:05:56,119 --> 00:05:57,560
Someone's trying to kill me!
167
00:05:57,587 --> 00:06:00,022
Mind closed, Jake!
Mind closed.
168
00:06:01,591 --> 00:06:02,899
Yep.
169
00:06:11,055 --> 00:06:12,221
Look, I know you're upset
170
00:06:12,222 --> 00:06:14,023
because Pimento seems
a little amped up...
171
00:06:14,058 --> 00:06:16,025
We were going 90
with the headlights off!
172
00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:18,294
But please just give him
a chance to explain
173
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,464
before getting all angry
and yelling, "Hey, man!"
174
00:06:21,498 --> 00:06:24,000
Hey, man!
What the hell were you doing?
175
00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:26,402
Great, Sarge, can I just talk
to you outside for one moment?
176
00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:28,171
BRB. BRB.
BRB.
177
00:06:28,172 --> 00:06:29,906
Sarge, he's a good cop.
178
00:06:29,907 --> 00:06:32,375
IF you ask him in a supportive,
non-confrontational manner,
179
00:06:32,376 --> 00:06:34,410
he'll give you
a calm, logical answer.
180
00:06:34,411 --> 00:06:36,379
Fine.
181
00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:37,447
Why do you want to know?
182
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:38,948
Who are you working for?
183
00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:41,417
I will cut you, little man.
184
00:06:41,418 --> 00:06:42,752
Cool.
Hey, uh, Adrian?
185
00:06:42,753 --> 00:06:44,053
Can I borrow you for one sec?
186
00:06:44,088 --> 00:06:45,942
Look, we're all on your side
here, Pimento.
187
00:06:45,956 --> 00:06:48,291
We all want to believe that
you're about to be murdered.
188
00:06:48,292 --> 00:06:49,359
Thanks, man.
189
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:50,660
But you gotta lay out some facts
190
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,462
and you gotta do it calmly.
191
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:54,163
Okay, here's everything I know.
192
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,065
- It all started...
- Jake, a word, please.
193
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,500
- What?
- I don't know.
194
00:06:57,534 --> 00:06:59,068
Everybody else
got to go outside.
195
00:06:59,103 --> 00:07:00,803
Get back on the bus!
196
00:07:00,804 --> 00:07:02,839
Sorry.
Adrian, you were saying?
197
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,641
Someone's been following me
for two days.
198
00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:07,443
White guy, svelte,
thick brown hair,
199
00:07:07,444 --> 00:07:09,779
piercing blue eyes.
200
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,347
I don't know,
I guess you'd consider him
201
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,016
classically handsome.
202
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,250
- Is that weird to say?
- No.
203
00:07:14,251 --> 00:07:16,352
I mean, is it?
No, I don't think so.
204
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,322
Anyway, this morning I turned
the tables, followed him home.
205
00:07:19,323 --> 00:07:21,924
We need to go there now,
so we can get the drop on him.
206
00:07:21,925 --> 00:07:24,594
Smart, sane, rational.
Sarge, what do you think?
207
00:07:24,628 --> 00:07:26,296
Fine, we can go.
208
00:07:26,297 --> 00:07:28,484
But only to prove
he's making this all up.
209
00:07:28,499 --> 00:07:29,599
Okay, okay.
210
00:07:29,633 --> 00:07:31,234
The important thing is,
you agreed we can go
211
00:07:31,235 --> 00:07:32,488
and you and Pimento
are best friends now.
212
00:07:32,503 --> 00:07:34,304
Let's do it!
213
00:07:34,338 --> 00:07:36,539
All right, who's up first?
214
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:40,288
Party number one will be
brought to you by Gina Linetti.
215
00:07:40,311 --> 00:07:42,498
And good times.
216
00:07:42,513 --> 00:07:44,180
Where exactly
are these good times?
217
00:07:44,181 --> 00:07:45,682
Because so far,
218
00:07:45,683 --> 00:07:47,584
the first six seconds of your
party are a big old snooze.
219
00:07:47,618 --> 00:07:49,919
Tonight we will be attending
220
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,822
my nephew Anthony's
13th birthday party.
221
00:07:52,823 --> 00:07:55,358
Sounds awful.
Teenage boys are the worst.
222
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,993
But shooting them
with paintballs
223
00:07:57,027 --> 00:07:59,829
in the behind is the best,
224
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:00,997
which is what we're gonna do.
225
00:08:01,031 --> 00:08:02,185
It's a paintball party.
226
00:08:02,194 --> 00:08:04,437
- Nice.
- Let's go shoot my nephew.
227
00:08:04,468 --> 00:08:07,303
Gina, do you have any idea
what you're getting into?
228
00:08:07,304 --> 00:08:09,439
We play in a league.
229
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,873
A league.
230
00:08:10,874 --> 00:08:12,475
- Ow!
- Oops.
231
00:08:15,379 --> 00:08:17,981
You're all gonna die tonight!
232
00:08:21,218 --> 00:08:22,552
Unleash hell.
233
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:26,322
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow!
234
00:08:26,323 --> 00:08:28,961
Well, well, well,
guess I nailed it.
235
00:08:28,993 --> 00:08:30,259
Pressure's on, guys.
236
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,696
Good.
Pressure's my jab.
237
00:08:33,697 --> 00:08:35,531
- Ow!
- I'm engaged!
238
00:08:39,231 --> 00:08:42,372
Okay, now the guy's
in that building right there.
239
00:08:42,373 --> 00:08:45,575
If Figgis hired him,
that means he's highly trained,
240
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,710
armed, and very dangerous.
241
00:08:47,711 --> 00:08:49,412
The only problem is,
none of us are packing.
242
00:08:49,413 --> 00:08:50,483
Oh, not a problem.
243
00:08:50,514 --> 00:08:52,151
I've got an arsenal in my pants.
244
00:08:55,853 --> 00:08:56,953
Damn!
245
00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,655
Guys, game faces on.
246
00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:00,323
I don't know what's on
the other side of that door,
247
00:09:00,324 --> 00:09:01,869
but I know it's gonna be brutal.
248
00:09:01,892 --> 00:09:03,329
And it's empty.
249
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,794
No one's been in here for years.
250
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,363
- I can't believe I was wrong.
- I can.
251
00:09:07,398 --> 00:09:10,400
Okay, look, this was maybe
a weird way to start the night,
252
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:11,768
but the good news is,
253
00:09:11,769 --> 00:09:14,337
we can still make our dinner
reservation and no one got hurt.
254
00:09:14,338 --> 00:09:17,009
Actually, I cut myself real bad.
255
00:09:17,041 --> 00:09:18,511
Of course you did.
256
00:09:18,542 --> 00:09:21,411
the quiz.
257
00:09:21,412 --> 00:09:23,850
Winner gets
a question mark crown.
258
00:09:23,881 --> 00:09:25,148
So cool.
259
00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:28,218
Um, I'll take
Lonely Arts and Crafts for 800.
260
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:31,321
First of all, I've made many
friends through arts and crafts.
261
00:09:31,355 --> 00:09:33,443
And how many of them
are googly eyes?
262
00:09:33,452 --> 00:09:36,426
And secondly,
it's a drinking game.
263
00:09:36,427 --> 00:09:38,739
Get a question wrong, do a shot.
264
00:09:38,762 --> 00:09:41,164
Oh, and the questions?
They're all about Rosa.
265
00:09:41,198 --> 00:09:43,035
But none of us know
anything about Rosa.
266
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:45,134
Everyone's about to get
real hammered.
267
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,469
What is my favorite soup?
268
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,937
Chicken noodle.
269
00:09:47,972 --> 00:09:49,372
Potato leek.
270
00:09:49,373 --> 00:09:52,942
Corn frickin' noodle.
I mean, chowder, damn it.
271
00:09:52,977 --> 00:09:54,177
You're all wrong.
I've never had soup.
272
00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,179
Don't bother.
They all suck.
273
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,180
Drink!
274
00:09:59,049 --> 00:10:00,717
Battle axe.
275
00:10:00,718 --> 00:10:02,263
Upper cut.
276
00:10:02,286 --> 00:10:03,386
Disembowelment.
277
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:05,054
Guys, I was a baby.
278
00:10:05,089 --> 00:10:07,643
My first word was "Da-da."
Drink!
279
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:18,101
Wrong!
I can totally do a handstand.
280
00:10:18,135 --> 00:10:19,135
Ooh!
281
00:10:20,137 --> 00:10:22,772
- Oh!
- Told ya.
282
00:10:22,773 --> 00:10:26,204
Good luck following
this party, ya bish.
283
00:10:27,845 --> 00:10:31,614
I'd like to make a toast to
the groom-to-be, Adrian Pimento.
284
00:10:31,649 --> 00:10:33,550
Don't bother, Jake.
Everybody's pissed at me.
285
00:10:33,551 --> 00:10:35,885
No, no, we're not.
We're all supporting you.
286
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,131
We're doing
separate checks, right?
287
00:10:37,154 --> 00:10:38,588
I told you, we're splitting it.
288
00:10:38,589 --> 00:10:41,891
All right, sure, tonight got off
to a weird, rocky start,
289
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:44,360
but you know what else got off
to a weird, rocky start?
290
00:10:44,361 --> 00:10:47,230
America, and we all
love America now, right?
291
00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:48,498
Well, it's no Amsterdam.
292
00:10:48,499 --> 00:10:50,466
And you know who else
we also love?
293
00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:51,734
Rosa Diaz.
294
00:10:51,769 --> 00:10:53,002
Some of us even love her so much
295
00:10:53,003 --> 00:10:55,038
that it makes us act
a little crazy sometimes.
296
00:10:55,039 --> 00:10:56,359
You're talking about me, right?
297
00:10:56,373 --> 00:10:57,373
Yeah!
298
00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:59,195
Ah, I would kill all of you
for her.
299
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:01,211
That's sweet.
Right?
300
00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:03,212
- So let's raise our glass.
- Cheers.
301
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:04,951
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
302
00:11:08,214 --> 00:11:09,652
I'd also like to make a toast.
303
00:11:09,653 --> 00:11:11,958
Easy on the dings, man.
One ding'll do.
304
00:11:11,989 --> 00:11:14,624
Thank you guys
so much for this party.
305
00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:16,426
It means everything to me.
306
00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:19,340
And I'm sorry that earlier
I went a little off the rails,
307
00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:20,730
hijacked the bus,
308
00:11:20,731 --> 00:11:22,802
stole all of your wallets
to double check your identities.
309
00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:23,900
What?
310
00:11:23,901 --> 00:11:25,501
But with friends like you,
311
00:11:25,502 --> 00:11:27,904
I'm finally starting
to feel like...
312
00:11:27,905 --> 00:11:30,139
There he is!
313
00:11:31,876 --> 00:11:33,020
I got him down!
314
00:11:33,043 --> 00:11:34,644
I got him down!
Somebody check his pockets!
315
00:11:34,678 --> 00:11:36,713
What the hell?
Man, this is crazy!
316
00:11:36,714 --> 00:11:39,026
Sarge, look.
317
00:11:39,049 --> 00:11:41,484
A gun and a picture of Pimento.
318
00:11:41,485 --> 00:11:43,019
What do you have to say now?
319
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:46,789
I guess someone's
trying to kill him.
320
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,058
That's right!
In your face!
321
00:11:49,093 --> 00:11:52,395
Someone's trying to kill him!
Whoo!
322
00:11:52,396 --> 00:11:54,097
I mean, a man's life
is in danger.
323
00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:55,670
Probably shouldn't be so pumped.
324
00:11:57,208 --> 00:11:58,608
Look, I'm sorry I doubted you.
325
00:11:58,643 --> 00:12:00,443
I'm also sorry that someone's
trying to kill you,
326
00:12:00,444 --> 00:12:02,646
but I can really only take
ownership for the first part.
327
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,780
It's okay, Sarge.
328
00:12:03,781 --> 00:12:05,048
I would've doubted me too.
329
00:12:05,049 --> 00:12:06,950
I mean, you guys probably
haven't noticed anything,
330
00:12:06,951 --> 00:12:09,386
but I've been acting
pretty unstable lately.
331
00:12:09,387 --> 00:12:13,456
Well, personally, I think
I also deserve an apology.
332
00:12:13,457 --> 00:12:15,158
No?
Okay, that's totally cool.
333
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,826
- So what's our plan?
- Okay.
334
00:12:16,827 --> 00:12:18,395
I'm gonna make this guy talk.
335
00:12:18,396 --> 00:12:20,363
Okay, all I need
is a car battery,
336
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,866
jumper cables, and
unfettered access to his nibs.
337
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,107
As much as I'd like to see that,
338
00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:25,502
I think you might be
a little too close to this.
339
00:12:25,503 --> 00:12:26,936
Maybe I should ask
the questions.
340
00:12:26,937 --> 00:12:29,706
Hey, Jackie, if you're asking
the waiter questions,
341
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,274
find out when the
mashed potatoes are coming.
342
00:12:31,275 --> 00:12:33,610
He's not a real waiter, man!
343
00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:35,312
Hang on,
we don't know that for sure.
344
00:12:35,313 --> 00:12:37,814
- Are you a waiter as well?
- Mm-mm.
345
00:12:37,815 --> 00:12:39,816
- No.
- Yeah, Terry was right.
346
00:12:39,817 --> 00:12:41,339
Yeah.
347
00:12:41,352 --> 00:12:44,587
So, you had a picture
of my friend and a loaded gun.
348
00:12:44,588 --> 00:12:47,724
Can't wait to hear what crazy
story you tell to justify that.
349
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,293
I'm a contract killer who was
hired to kill Adrian Pimento.
350
00:12:50,294 --> 00:12:51,628
Oh.
351
00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:53,863
That went much easier
than I was expecting.
352
00:12:53,864 --> 00:12:54,898
Still gonna brag.
353
00:12:54,932 --> 00:12:56,333
I did it, guys.
354
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,268
- I broke him.
- Who wants me dead?
355
00:12:58,269 --> 00:12:59,970
Someone in Figgis's
organization?
356
00:13:00,004 --> 00:13:01,471
I don't know.
I haven't met the guy.
357
00:13:01,472 --> 00:13:02,639
Once I finish the job,
358
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,441
I'm supposed to text him
a photo of the body.
359
00:13:04,442 --> 00:13:05,742
Then we meet up
and I get the money.
360
00:13:05,776 --> 00:13:06,843
Interesting.
361
00:13:06,877 --> 00:13:08,845
So he has no clue
what you look like.
362
00:13:08,879 --> 00:13:09,846
Mm-mm.
363
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,782
Gentlemen,
I just thought of a plan.
364
00:13:12,817 --> 00:13:15,485
Stage Pimento's death
and go to the meet-up ourselves.
365
00:13:15,486 --> 00:13:17,153
Great plan, Sarge!
366
00:13:17,154 --> 00:13:19,356
No, I was gonna say it first.
367
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:21,191
I thought of it before you did.
368
00:13:21,192 --> 00:13:23,693
You know, whatever, let's just
do Sarge's thing, I guess.
369
00:13:23,694 --> 00:13:25,174
All right, Boyle, you're up.
370
00:13:25,196 --> 00:13:27,297
- Where we goin'?
- A restaurant.
371
00:13:27,298 --> 00:13:30,200
Specifically, Le Petit Colon.
372
00:13:30,201 --> 00:13:33,003
It means small intestine,
'cause that's all they serve.
373
00:13:33,037 --> 00:13:34,771
Oh, man, I was rootin' for you.
374
00:13:34,805 --> 00:13:36,306
I don't think I can eat that.
375
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:39,843
Neither can anyone else,
which is why they shut it down.
376
00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:42,879
We are not eating
at this restaurant.
377
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,949
We are demolishing it.
378
00:13:45,983 --> 00:13:48,618
Damn!
Boyle's playing to win!
379
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:50,320
Yeah!
380
00:13:50,321 --> 00:13:54,224
Madame, may I offer you
the first whack?
381
00:13:56,327 --> 00:13:58,695
I've been dreaming about this
since I was a little girl.
382
00:14:19,517 --> 00:14:22,652
Guys, love is beautiful.
383
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:26,356
Okay, we need to make
my main man Pimento
384
00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:30,493
look super murdered, like
Tarantino disgusting murdered.
385
00:14:30,528 --> 00:14:32,362
- You ready?
- Murder me, bro.
386
00:14:32,363 --> 00:14:34,577
Sarge, blood.
387
00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:36,266
Headshot.
388
00:14:40,037 --> 00:14:41,671
Damn, it feels good
to be creative again.
389
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:44,241
And here comes the brains.
390
00:14:46,390 --> 00:14:47,510
All right,
now all you need to do
391
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,678
is put some water on my crotch.
392
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:50,146
What?
Why?
393
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,948
Obviously because everybody
who gets shot pees them self.
394
00:14:51,949 --> 00:14:53,283
No, they don't.
That's not true.
395
00:14:53,284 --> 00:14:55,185
Actually, he's right.
Every single time.
396
00:14:55,219 --> 00:14:57,220
I'm just gonna take the photo
from the waist up, okay?
397
00:14:57,255 --> 00:15:00,056
Fine, but for the record,
I think I should've peed myself.
398
00:15:00,057 --> 00:15:01,312
All right, noted.
399
00:15:01,325 --> 00:15:04,194
Photo taken...
400
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:06,496
and sent.
401
00:15:06,497 --> 00:15:07,464
Nice.
402
00:15:08,499 --> 00:15:10,133
Wow, that was a quick response.
403
00:15:10,134 --> 00:15:12,469
Someone's a bit
of a thirsty gangster.
404
00:15:12,503 --> 00:15:13,970
He wants to meet up.
405
00:15:14,005 --> 00:15:15,906
And he wants me to bring him
your tongue.
406
00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:18,108
Ah, how did I not
see this coming?
407
00:15:18,109 --> 00:15:19,743
That's what Figgis does
to snitches.
408
00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:21,624
Well, game over, guys.
409
00:15:21,646 --> 00:15:22,879
I mean, where are we gonna get
a tongue?
410
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,482
Relax, I'm just gonna
text Boyle.
411
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:28,952
He's always eating weird stuff
like tongues and chicken faces.
412
00:15:28,953 --> 00:15:31,054
Oh, and he's already
texted me back
413
00:15:31,088 --> 00:15:33,290
with a top-ten list.
414
00:15:33,291 --> 00:15:36,393
Well, the groomsmen
are having a great time.
415
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,062
Jake just texted me about
where to get a veal tongue.
416
00:15:39,096 --> 00:15:41,264
- Hmm?
- Tonight was amazing,
417
00:15:41,265 --> 00:15:43,466
which I didn't think
was possible with you guys.
418
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:45,168
I don't know why
we were competing.
419
00:15:45,203 --> 00:15:47,270
If you ask me,
what we're doing right now,
420
00:15:47,271 --> 00:15:48,972
just hanging out,
421
00:15:48,973 --> 00:15:50,273
is the best part
of the whole night.
422
00:15:50,274 --> 00:15:51,942
- I don't even care who won.
- Charles won.
423
00:15:51,943 --> 00:15:53,243
- What?
- Huh?
424
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,344
Yeah, he had the best party.
425
00:15:54,345 --> 00:15:55,579
We broke so much stuff!
426
00:15:55,613 --> 00:15:56,746
Whoo!
427
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,883
You guys, I cannot wait
428
00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:03,053
to spend the rest of my life
with Adrian Pimento.
429
00:16:03,054 --> 00:16:05,088
My heart is so full.
430
00:16:05,122 --> 00:16:07,586
Mama Mia!
431
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:10,961
To Rosa and Pimento!
432
00:16:10,962 --> 00:16:13,330
Rosa and Pimento!
433
00:16:13,331 --> 00:16:16,666
Guys, I really don't want
to hold this tongue much longer.
434
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,001
It's weirdly heavy.
435
00:16:18,035 --> 00:16:19,636
You're in luck.
Car just pulled in.
436
00:16:19,637 --> 00:16:21,638
- I think it's our guy.
- Copy that.
437
00:16:29,180 --> 00:16:32,282
Oh, same ski mask.
That's awkward.
438
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,351
Don't worry about it.
Happens all the time.
439
00:16:34,352 --> 00:16:35,585
You have the tongue?
440
00:16:35,586 --> 00:16:38,188
Yeah, this guy won't be
snitching in heaven.
441
00:16:38,189 --> 00:16:39,823
I mean, hell, obviously,
he's going to hell.
442
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:42,292
We all are; we're bad guys.
Anyway, here's his tongue.
443
00:16:42,326 --> 00:16:44,456
It's all there.
444
00:16:47,999 --> 00:16:49,933
Jimmy Figgis thanks you.
445
00:16:53,671 --> 00:16:55,939
Yeah, he's on the move.
I'm coming to you.
446
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,310
Where's this sicko
leading us now?
447
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,412
Lightbulb Hut?
All About the Bagel?
448
00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,047
- Bill's Pools?
- Stop reading signs.
449
00:17:04,048 --> 00:17:05,182
Can't.
I'm too amped up.
450
00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:06,616
I didn't recognize this guy.
451
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,151
If he works for Figgis,
he's new.
452
00:17:08,186 --> 00:17:09,486
In fairness, there's probably
453
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,720
a lot of turnover
in his line of work,
454
00:17:10,721 --> 00:17:12,556
what with the constant death
and everything.
455
00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:14,724
Where's he going now?
456
00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:16,947
Oh, what the hell?
457
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,829
That's the FBI building.
458
00:17:23,935 --> 00:17:25,869
He's an agent.
459
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:29,919
Oh, Adrian.
Your bachelor party sucks butt.
460
00:17:30,679 --> 00:17:33,223
Ah, I'm freaking out, man.
I'm freaking out!
461
00:17:33,224 --> 00:17:35,792
Just stay calm
and be methodical.
462
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,260
Right?
What do we know?
463
00:17:37,261 --> 00:17:39,362
Jimmy "The Butcher" Figgis
has a man in the FBI.
464
00:17:39,363 --> 00:17:40,964
And he tried
to have Pimento killed.
465
00:17:40,998 --> 00:17:42,732
And I cut my other cheek.
466
00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:44,933
How?
I took the knife away from you.
467
00:17:44,935 --> 00:17:46,536
Oh, man.
468
00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:48,805
That's it.
I-I gotta completely disappear.
469
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:50,039
It's not safe for me here.
470
00:17:50,074 --> 00:17:51,875
And what if Rosa gets caught
in the crossfire?
471
00:17:51,876 --> 00:17:53,209
No, no, no.
Listen.
472
00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:54,410
We're gonna protect you guys,
473
00:17:54,411 --> 00:17:56,546
and we're gonna
take these guys down.
474
00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:57,981
- Right, Sarge?
- Absolutely.
475
00:17:58,015 --> 00:17:59,949
No, no, no, don't you see?
476
00:17:59,984 --> 00:18:01,851
Right now, they think I'm dead.
477
00:18:01,852 --> 00:18:03,820
This is my only chance
to get away safe.
478
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:07,457
Jake... I need you to tell Rosa
that I love her.
479
00:18:07,491 --> 00:18:09,125
Okay?
Do that for me.
480
00:18:09,126 --> 00:18:12,495
Also, tell her this.
481
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:13,963
Oh.
482
00:18:13,998 --> 00:18:16,065
Oh my.
483
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,168
Ew.
484
00:18:18,169 --> 00:18:20,436
That is very graphic, Adrian.
485
00:18:20,437 --> 00:18:21,738
Got it?
486
00:18:21,739 --> 00:18:23,640
I don't think I can say
any of that to Rosa.
487
00:18:23,641 --> 00:18:26,176
And also, you can't leave
without saying good-bye to her.
488
00:18:26,177 --> 00:18:27,410
You owe her that much.
489
00:18:27,411 --> 00:18:29,345
No can do.
490
00:18:29,346 --> 00:18:32,182
It's just... too dangerous.
491
00:18:34,652 --> 00:18:36,286
Good-bye, Nine-Nine.
492
00:18:36,287 --> 00:18:39,289
And with that, I left.
493
00:18:44,586 --> 00:18:47,363
Oh, sweet, sweet coffee.
494
00:18:47,364 --> 00:18:48,598
Come to mama.
495
00:18:48,599 --> 00:18:50,633
Shut your loud mouth, Amy.
496
00:18:50,634 --> 00:18:52,235
Some of us have a hangover.
497
00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:55,038
Man, last night was dope.
498
00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:57,340
Wait, did Gina really
go to Puerto Rico
499
00:18:57,341 --> 00:18:58,942
with that drug store cashier?
500
00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:01,644
Yeah.
They seemed really happy.
501
00:19:01,645 --> 00:19:03,680
- They really did.
- Yeah.
502
00:19:03,681 --> 00:19:05,281
Huh.
503
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,765
Hey, man.
How'd it go last night?
504
00:19:06,784 --> 00:19:08,151
Sarge cool with Adrian now?
505
00:19:08,152 --> 00:19:10,587
Oh, so you haven't
seen him, huh?
506
00:19:10,588 --> 00:19:11,855
No.
507
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:13,489
I figured he just passed out
at your place or something.
508
00:19:13,490 --> 00:19:14,557
Why?
What's going on?
509
00:19:14,558 --> 00:19:17,060
Oh, man.
510
00:19:17,061 --> 00:19:18,795
Let's go for a walk.
511
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,634
He wanted me to tell you
that he loves you.
512
00:19:24,635 --> 00:19:26,536
Is that it?
Did he say anything else?
513
00:19:26,537 --> 00:19:27,670
Um...
514
00:19:27,671 --> 00:19:30,206
May the lord be with you.
515
00:19:30,207 --> 00:19:33,009
- Adrian.
- Oh, thank God.
516
00:19:37,055 --> 00:19:39,048
You scared me.
I thought you left.
517
00:19:39,049 --> 00:19:40,550
I did.
518
00:19:40,551 --> 00:19:43,887
I was burning my fingerprints
off in a gas station bathroom
519
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:45,522
when I thought about
what Jake said.
520
00:19:45,523 --> 00:19:48,424
I couldn't leave without
seeing you one last time.
521
00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:52,996
I want to lick your whole body
clean like a kitty cat.
522
00:19:52,997 --> 00:19:56,065
And I'm gonna give you two
a little space.
523
00:19:56,066 --> 00:19:57,834
I have to go.
524
00:19:57,835 --> 00:19:59,109
But I'll be back for you.
525
00:19:59,136 --> 00:20:00,637
I'll wait.
526
00:20:00,638 --> 00:20:03,606
And while I'm waiting,
I will find that FBI agent
527
00:20:03,607 --> 00:20:06,376
and I will rip his head off
with my bare hands.
528
00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:09,145
That is the sweetest thing
anybody's ever said to me.
529
00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:10,146
I love you.
530
00:20:10,181 --> 00:20:12,081
I love you.
531
00:20:25,854 --> 00:20:26,996
You okay?
532
00:20:26,997 --> 00:20:29,532
Yeah, I will be.
533
00:20:29,533 --> 00:20:31,401
I watched you guys kiss.
I didn't know where to look.
534
00:20:31,402 --> 00:20:34,637
- All right, let's go inside.
- Okay.
535
00:20:34,672 --> 00:20:37,140
Sergeant Jeffords briefed me
about the Pimento situation.
536
00:20:37,174 --> 00:20:39,107
Sounds like I missed
a hell of a week.
537
00:20:39,110 --> 00:20:40,944
We need to bring Figgis
to justice
538
00:20:40,945 --> 00:20:43,079
and find whoever is
helping him in the FBI.
539
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,614
As of right now, we have
very little to go on.
540
00:20:45,616 --> 00:20:46,950
Yeah, the guy was wearing
a ski mask,
541
00:20:46,951 --> 00:20:49,886
but he had a large scar
on his right palm.
542
00:20:52,590 --> 00:20:54,791
I have a similar scar
on my back.
543
00:20:54,792 --> 00:20:56,359
Banged into Amy's
kitchen cabinet.
544
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,560
No big deal.
Continue.
545
00:20:57,561 --> 00:20:58,895
This mission is top secret.
546
00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:00,864
No one can know
what we're doing.
547
00:21:00,865 --> 00:21:03,600
Detective Pimento's a good man
and he's one of us.
548
00:21:03,601 --> 00:21:07,370
So let's catch these
bastards for him and Rosa.
549
00:21:07,371 --> 00:21:09,939
- Nine-Nine!
- Discretely, Jacob.
550
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:11,074
Nine-Nine.
551
00:21:11,108 --> 00:21:12,266
Nine-Nine!
552
00:21:12,267 --> 00:21:14,227
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/