1
00:00:01,809 --> 00:00:04,010
We've busted murderers,
we've taken down cartels.
2
00:00:05,111 --> 00:00:07,946
But today we face the worst
New York has to offer...
3
00:00:07,981 --> 00:00:11,717
The fire department.
4
00:00:11,751 --> 00:00:13,819
Fire marshal Boone, we meet again.
5
00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:15,721
Detective Peralta, your fly's down.
6
00:00:15,722 --> 00:00:17,389
I made you look.
I didn't look.
7
00:00:17,390 --> 00:00:19,358
And I'm wearing shorts, there is no fly.
8
00:00:19,392 --> 00:00:20,425
That's not what your mom said.
9
00:00:20,426 --> 00:00:21,560
You make no sense.
10
00:00:21,561 --> 00:00:23,195
And now I'm inside your head.
11
00:00:23,229 --> 00:00:25,030
Prepare to die.
12
00:00:25,064 --> 00:00:26,531
Blue 52. Hut.
13
00:00:31,738 --> 00:00:33,071
Yeah!
14
00:00:34,907 --> 00:00:37,075
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
15
00:00:37,076 --> 00:00:40,445
♪ You're the best around
16
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You don't have to dance every time.
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00:00:49,489 --> 00:00:52,758
True, but I choose to dance every time.
18
00:00:54,293 --> 00:00:55,293
Whoo!
19
00:00:55,294 --> 00:00:56,428
You have one play.
20
00:00:56,429 --> 00:00:57,596
You give the ball to Jeffords,
21
00:00:57,597 --> 00:00:58,964
and he runs it in.
22
00:00:58,965 --> 00:01:01,133
I-I'd like to see
you score one.
23
00:01:01,167 --> 00:01:02,501
Good, 'cause you're about to see it.
24
00:01:02,502 --> 00:01:06,238
You're about to see it straight to hell.
25
00:01:06,272 --> 00:01:07,639
Hut, hut.
26
00:01:07,674 --> 00:01:08,840
♪ You're the best
27
00:01:08,841 --> 00:01:11,009
now, Terry.
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♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
29
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Yeah!
30
00:01:15,014 --> 00:01:17,182
I did it.
I did it alone.
31
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I'm the King of the world!
Whoo!
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Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
web dl sync snarry/
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♪ Cream in my coffee and rock and roll ♪
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Peralta.
35
00:01:44,177 --> 00:01:45,243
Captain Holt.
36
00:01:45,244 --> 00:01:47,312
You look very... sad?
37
00:01:47,313 --> 00:01:48,513
I can never tell.
38
00:01:48,548 --> 00:01:50,182
Do you have a murder suspect to question?
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00:01:50,183 --> 00:01:52,217
He is in the interrogation room
as we speak,
40
00:01:52,218 --> 00:01:54,720
sitting and, I assume, stewing.
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00:01:54,721 --> 00:01:56,388
I put on a song that I think
42
00:01:56,389 --> 00:01:58,023
sums up his situation nicely.
43
00:01:59,926 --> 00:02:02,461
♪ I got you, babe
44
00:02:02,495 --> 00:02:03,829
because, you see...
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00:02:03,863 --> 00:02:05,363
You got him, babe.
46
00:02:05,364 --> 00:02:07,032
I understood the wordplay, yes.
47
00:02:07,033 --> 00:02:09,267
Oh. I've been chasing this guy
for three months.
48
00:02:09,268 --> 00:02:10,769
I've got him dead to rights.
49
00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:13,138
Fingerprints, witnesses, it's in the bag.
50
00:02:13,172 --> 00:02:16,074
So I'm just gonna grab
a healthy breakfast...
51
00:02:16,109 --> 00:02:19,377
Are those gummy bears
wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
52
00:02:19,378 --> 00:02:21,413
Breakfast burrito, but yeah.
53
00:02:21,447 --> 00:02:23,115
I pity your dentist.
54
00:02:23,116 --> 00:02:25,417
Joke's on you.
I don't have a dentist.
55
00:02:25,418 --> 00:02:27,352
Jake, Jake.
56
00:02:27,353 --> 00:02:28,587
Oh, this can't be good.
57
00:02:28,588 --> 00:02:30,856
Major crimes division just called.
58
00:02:30,890 --> 00:02:32,591
They're taking over your murder case.
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00:02:32,592 --> 00:02:35,494
The vulture is on his way here now.
60
00:02:35,528 --> 00:02:36,762
No! Doesn't that guy
61
00:02:36,763 --> 00:02:38,196
get tired of stealing our cases?
62
00:02:38,197 --> 00:02:40,398
He took one from me and Rosa last week.
63
00:02:40,399 --> 00:02:42,503
NYPD. Stop!
64
00:02:42,535 --> 00:02:43,769
You made us run up
ten flights of stairs.
65
00:02:43,770 --> 00:02:45,047
It's over.
66
00:02:45,071 --> 00:02:48,874
Thanks, guys.
I got it from here.
67
00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:51,470
Don't worry, we can stall him
until you get the confession.
68
00:02:51,477 --> 00:02:53,712
We rehearsed this, you guys.
This isn't a drill.
69
00:02:53,713 --> 00:02:55,614
Everyone know their assignments?
70
00:02:55,615 --> 00:02:57,149
All right, hands in.
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00:02:57,150 --> 00:02:58,850
Commence operation:
Broken feather.
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00:02:58,885 --> 00:03:01,019
And go!
73
00:03:01,053 --> 00:03:02,454
Okay, Gus,
74
00:03:02,455 --> 00:03:03,789
I don't have a lot of time.
75
00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:05,957
I need your full, signed confession.
76
00:03:05,992 --> 00:03:07,893
We have four minutes.
We can do this.
77
00:03:07,927 --> 00:03:10,228
But I'm not guilty.
Listen to me, Gus.
78
00:03:10,229 --> 00:03:12,964
We can do this, son.
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00:03:12,999 --> 00:03:16,234
Yo, is this a police station or a toilet?
80
00:03:16,235 --> 00:03:18,664
'Cause all I see is turds.
81
00:03:18,671 --> 00:03:20,405
Oh, Detective Pembroke.
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00:03:23,843 --> 00:03:25,110
Oh, no.
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00:03:25,111 --> 00:03:26,711
I spilled coffee on you by accident.
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00:03:26,746 --> 00:03:28,847
Lucky for you, this wipes off quickly.
85
00:03:28,848 --> 00:03:30,549
This coat's made out of whale skin.
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00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:33,512
The vulture still flies.
The vulture still flies.
87
00:03:34,821 --> 00:03:36,454
Hey, Pembroke.
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00:03:36,455 --> 00:03:37,956
What do you say we go talk
about a case in the break room?
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00:03:37,990 --> 00:03:39,324
Oh, yeah?
What case is that?
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00:03:39,358 --> 00:03:41,259
The case of how you got so damn sexy.
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00:03:41,294 --> 00:03:42,627
God owed me a favor.
92
00:03:42,628 --> 00:03:44,429
Case solved.
93
00:03:44,463 --> 00:03:46,364
I told you, I didn't know the guy.
94
00:03:46,365 --> 00:03:48,633
You're lying.
We have pictures of you two.
95
00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:50,335
Come on, we only have three minutes.
96
00:03:50,336 --> 00:03:52,030
It's like you're not even
trying to confess!
97
00:03:52,038 --> 00:03:53,238
The vulture is coming.
98
00:03:53,272 --> 00:03:54,372
We need more time.
99
00:03:54,373 --> 00:03:55,407
Someone do something.
100
00:03:55,441 --> 00:03:58,043
I got it.
Tear gas.
101
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:02,848
Scully, Scully,
102
00:04:02,882 --> 00:04:04,716
wrap my shirt around your face.
103
00:04:07,053 --> 00:04:10,288
And out of the tear gas rises the Phoenix.
104
00:04:11,791 --> 00:04:13,658
Hey, Peralta.
105
00:04:13,659 --> 00:04:14,659
I got it from here.
106
00:04:14,694 --> 00:04:16,928
All right, fine.
107
00:04:16,963 --> 00:04:18,797
I'll just go then...
108
00:04:18,831 --> 00:04:21,366
With this fully signed confession.
109
00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:23,301
We did it, Gus!
Whoo!
110
00:04:23,302 --> 00:04:24,636
Suck it, vulture.
111
00:04:24,637 --> 00:04:26,204
I killed that guy and his neighbor,
112
00:04:26,205 --> 00:04:27,939
but you were too late.
113
00:04:27,974 --> 00:04:31,076
Whoo!
Wait, you killed his neighbor?
114
00:04:31,077 --> 00:04:33,211
Amy, check it out.
115
00:04:33,212 --> 00:04:35,714
Nice, you got it framed?
Of course.
116
00:04:35,748 --> 00:04:37,582
It commemorates our victory
over the vulture,
117
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the greatest day in human history.
118
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Sorry the tear gas made you look like
119
00:04:41,087 --> 00:04:42,915
a demon dog at the end of ghostbusters.
120
00:04:42,922 --> 00:04:45,357
Brief me on the hotel robberies.
121
00:04:45,391 --> 00:04:47,592
Helpful hint to the scientists
that programmed you,
122
00:04:47,593 --> 00:04:48,727
most humans say "hello"
123
00:04:48,728 --> 00:04:50,328
at the beginning of a conversation.
124
00:04:50,363 --> 00:04:52,230
Manager at the Prentiss hotel told us that
125
00:04:52,265 --> 00:04:53,598
someone's been breaking into the rooms,
126
00:04:53,599 --> 00:04:55,367
stolen over $100,000 in jewelry.
127
00:04:55,368 --> 00:04:56,735
We're heading over there now.
128
00:04:56,769 --> 00:04:59,170
Keep me updated.
Another helpful hint...
129
00:04:59,205 --> 00:05:01,940
Good-bye. It's learning.
130
00:05:01,941 --> 00:05:03,477
What?
131
00:05:05,344 --> 00:05:07,312
Man, an hour of footage,
and we've got nothing.
132
00:05:07,346 --> 00:05:09,983
I have to admit, I do love
a thorough vacuumer.
133
00:05:10,016 --> 00:05:11,583
I'm a little O.C.D.
134
00:05:11,617 --> 00:05:14,452
What? No, you're not.
135
00:05:14,453 --> 00:05:15,587
Whoop.
136
00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:18,556
I can leave it there.
137
00:05:18,591 --> 00:05:20,392
Totally.
It doesn't bother me.
138
00:05:20,426 --> 00:05:22,193
I know.
139
00:05:23,362 --> 00:05:24,896
There it is.
140
00:05:24,897 --> 00:05:26,598
All right, let's get started.
141
00:05:26,632 --> 00:05:28,833
So we have good news,
and we have bad news.
142
00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:30,302
My Nana always said, "bad news first,
143
00:05:30,303 --> 00:05:32,470
because the good news
is probably a lie."
144
00:05:32,471 --> 00:05:34,606
Fun fact, she made me cry a lot.
145
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,207
Good news is, the sting we set up
146
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:37,876
to catch deadbeats went great.
147
00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:40,545
Name's Bill Voss,
just got this thing in the mail,
148
00:05:40,546 --> 00:05:42,614
said I won a free Bahamas cruise!
149
00:05:42,648 --> 00:05:44,115
Congratulations, Bill.
150
00:05:44,116 --> 00:05:47,352
You have six outstanding
warrants for credit fraud.
151
00:05:47,386 --> 00:05:50,288
Oh, man, can't it wait till
I get back from the Bahamas?
152
00:05:50,289 --> 00:05:51,923
I won a cruise.
153
00:05:51,924 --> 00:05:53,491
You're not very bright, are you, Bill?
154
00:05:53,492 --> 00:05:55,160
Now I know you'd all prefer
to go to a bar,
155
00:05:55,161 --> 00:05:58,163
drink beer, and eat chips
of various textures.
156
00:05:58,164 --> 00:06:00,632
But our compstat numbers
are due tomorrow morning,
157
00:06:00,633 --> 00:06:04,736
so I need these arrests
on the books today.
158
00:06:04,737 --> 00:06:06,671
Darn it. I had
a belly dancing class.
159
00:06:06,672 --> 00:06:08,440
Tonight was Egyptian undulation.
160
00:06:08,474 --> 00:06:10,108
Oh, show us some moves.
161
00:06:10,142 --> 00:06:12,610
Sure. Dismissed.
162
00:06:14,347 --> 00:06:17,782
First batch of arrest files
is done-zo Washington.
163
00:06:17,817 --> 00:06:19,017
There's only three files here.
164
00:06:19,018 --> 00:06:20,819
It's been an hour.
Yeah, I know.
165
00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:22,764
It has not been a productive morning.
166
00:06:22,788 --> 00:06:24,255
For example, somebody
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00:06:24,256 --> 00:06:26,184
used the toaster in front of Boyle.
168
00:06:26,192 --> 00:06:28,395
No. No, no, no, no.
Tommy?
169
00:06:28,427 --> 00:06:30,762
And then Boyle spent 30 minutes
170
00:06:30,763 --> 00:06:34,599
lecturing him on how to make a sandwich.
171
00:06:34,633 --> 00:06:36,201
I'd describe the work flow today
172
00:06:36,202 --> 00:06:39,471
as dismal with a tiny,
little splash of pathetic.
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00:06:41,474 --> 00:06:42,993
Get me out of here, man.
174
00:06:43,009 --> 00:06:44,642
I'm worried.
175
00:06:44,643 --> 00:06:46,144
The compstat numbers are due
tomorrow at 9:00 A.M.,
176
00:06:46,145 --> 00:06:47,979
but at this rate, we won't be finished
177
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:50,000
until your daughters
are grown and married.
178
00:06:50,016 --> 00:06:51,182
I may have a solution.
179
00:06:51,217 --> 00:06:53,585
We need to compstat the office.
180
00:06:53,619 --> 00:06:54,652
What is compstat?
181
00:06:54,687 --> 00:06:56,054
It's just using data
182
00:06:56,055 --> 00:06:58,623
to identify problem spots
in the neighborhood.
183
00:06:58,657 --> 00:07:01,459
Now, I have been taking notes
184
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:04,431
on points of friction
in this office for years.
185
00:07:04,463 --> 00:07:07,399
The red areas are places
where no work gets done.
186
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,300
If we can fix these problems
187
00:07:09,301 --> 00:07:11,569
without anyone knowing what we're doing,
188
00:07:11,570 --> 00:07:13,440
we will finish on time.
189
00:07:13,472 --> 00:07:15,573
Are you saying you want
to secretly perform
190
00:07:15,574 --> 00:07:17,475
scientific experiments on your friends
191
00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:20,211
and coworkers to increase efficiency?
192
00:07:20,246 --> 00:07:22,580
Yes.
193
00:07:22,581 --> 00:07:24,516
Sounds fun, let's do it.
194
00:07:24,517 --> 00:07:26,818
Hey, hand me some peanuts.
I'm snacky.
195
00:07:26,852 --> 00:07:28,720
I have something I need
to talk to you about.
196
00:07:28,754 --> 00:07:31,723
I might get a promotion to major crimes.
197
00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:34,059
They asked me to come in
and interview for a job.
198
00:07:34,093 --> 00:07:35,627
What?
199
00:07:35,661 --> 00:07:37,295
You're gonna go work for the vulture?
200
00:07:37,329 --> 00:07:39,197
Have you forgotten how awful he is?
201
00:07:40,766 --> 00:07:42,594
The Vladimir putin collection?
202
00:07:42,601 --> 00:07:44,402
Yeah, 70 bucks a pair.
203
00:07:44,403 --> 00:07:46,204
And they only increase in value.
204
00:07:48,841 --> 00:07:51,342
I guess that's your new
best friend now, Santiago.
205
00:07:51,343 --> 00:07:53,939
Emphasis on "iago," backstabber.
206
00:07:53,946 --> 00:07:55,513
I'm surprised you've read othello.
207
00:07:55,548 --> 00:07:57,082
What the hell's othello?
208
00:07:57,083 --> 00:07:58,450
I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
209
00:07:58,451 --> 00:08:00,351
I wouldn't be working for the vulture.
210
00:08:00,352 --> 00:08:03,254
I'd be working with him in data analysis.
211
00:08:03,289 --> 00:08:06,191
Oh, it's just a lousy desk job?
212
00:08:06,192 --> 00:08:08,760
Okay, never mind.
You're not gonna do that.
213
00:08:08,761 --> 00:08:10,361
You love working cases too much.
214
00:08:10,362 --> 00:08:12,530
Here's the plan:
We're gonna catch this perp.
215
00:08:12,531 --> 00:08:14,032
You're gonna remember how much
you love your job.
216
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:15,200
You're gonna skip that interview.
217
00:08:15,201 --> 00:08:16,835
And that's a Peralta guarantee.
218
00:08:16,869 --> 00:08:18,236
Your last Peralta guarantee was that
219
00:08:18,237 --> 00:08:19,938
you could dunk a basketball.
220
00:08:19,939 --> 00:08:21,639
I never said I couldn't use a ladder.
221
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,908
Peralta guarantee achieved.
222
00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:26,478
Aah!
223
00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:28,113
The subtext of the guarantee was that
224
00:08:28,114 --> 00:08:30,142
you would be entertained, and you were.
225
00:08:30,149 --> 00:08:31,749
Let's go!
226
00:08:32,939 --> 00:08:34,826
Okay, so I've already taken care
227
00:08:34,827 --> 00:08:36,294
of a few obvious problems.
228
00:08:36,295 --> 00:08:37,695
I moved the toaster to the break room,
229
00:08:37,696 --> 00:08:39,330
far away from Boyle.
230
00:08:39,331 --> 00:08:40,331
Good.
What's this red area here,
231
00:08:40,366 --> 00:08:42,300
the Diaz triangle?
232
00:08:42,301 --> 00:08:44,803
Right, so you know
about Rosa's anger incidents.
233
00:08:44,804 --> 00:08:47,539
It's my birthday.
I hate birthdays.
234
00:08:47,573 --> 00:08:49,374
If you wish me a Happy Birthday,
235
00:08:49,408 --> 00:08:50,809
I will punch you.
236
00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:52,143
You're a funny little bird, Diaz.
237
00:08:52,144 --> 00:08:54,045
Happy Birthday.
238
00:08:54,079 --> 00:08:56,047
Any time mt. Diaz erupts,
239
00:08:56,048 --> 00:08:57,782
everyone on the squad avoids her.
240
00:08:57,817 --> 00:08:59,684
Mt. Diaz.
Humorous, yes.
241
00:08:59,718 --> 00:09:01,653
Tell me, what room is just
242
00:09:01,654 --> 00:09:03,488
down the hall from her desk?
243
00:09:03,489 --> 00:09:05,890
The bathroom.
244
00:09:05,925 --> 00:09:08,426
If people are afraid to walk by Diaz,
245
00:09:08,427 --> 00:09:12,197
bathroom breaks would be to a minimum.
246
00:09:12,231 --> 00:09:14,599
Hey, Diaz, I just need
247
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,436
to make sure I've got
the details right in this file.
248
00:09:18,437 --> 00:09:20,271
Yeah, guy was passing bad checks.
249
00:09:20,272 --> 00:09:22,073
But is this the same guy?
250
00:09:22,074 --> 00:09:25,176
Yeah, the name here
is the same name on the checks.
251
00:09:25,177 --> 00:09:26,711
Ca-caw!
252
00:09:26,712 --> 00:09:28,613
Okay, all right, thank you,
thank you. Ca-caw!
253
00:09:28,614 --> 00:09:30,949
Got it.
254
00:09:32,685 --> 00:09:33,918
Come on!
255
00:09:33,953 --> 00:09:36,488
I'm so sick of these sucky computers.
256
00:09:36,522 --> 00:09:39,057
Aah!
257
00:09:42,528 --> 00:09:45,029
One more step and you're next.
258
00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:49,400
NYPD.
259
00:09:52,271 --> 00:09:53,304
Oh, boy.
260
00:09:53,305 --> 00:09:54,572
NYPD, sir.
261
00:09:54,573 --> 00:09:56,441
Have you seen anything unusual today?
262
00:09:56,442 --> 00:09:59,244
Oh, no.
263
00:09:59,245 --> 00:10:00,245
This was nice, thank you.
264
00:10:00,246 --> 00:10:02,146
Wait, wait, wait.
265
00:10:02,147 --> 00:10:03,681
What is this music?
266
00:10:03,716 --> 00:10:06,885
Oh, this is from my country:
Leirkrakeegovnia.
267
00:10:06,886 --> 00:10:09,087
Do you like it?
I weirdly do.
268
00:10:09,121 --> 00:10:11,656
♪ meil on fun ♪
269
00:10:11,657 --> 00:10:15,226
♪ Me teeme asju mis on ponev ♪
270
00:10:15,261 --> 00:10:18,363
♪ Olemme sobrad kasu ♪
271
00:10:18,397 --> 00:10:20,398
See, Amy, fun thing about working cases,
272
00:10:20,399 --> 00:10:22,567
you meet people from all over the world.
273
00:10:22,568 --> 00:10:24,168
This song is a celebration song
274
00:10:24,169 --> 00:10:26,337
from when a dog loses its virginity.
275
00:10:26,338 --> 00:10:28,206
Who checks that?
276
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,675
I was having a smoke, and I saw a bellboy
277
00:10:30,676 --> 00:10:32,777
take his jacket off
and throw it in the dumpster,
278
00:10:32,778 --> 00:10:34,445
then go back inside.
279
00:10:34,446 --> 00:10:35,747
Well, that's unusual.
280
00:10:35,748 --> 00:10:37,081
Yeah, that's why I'm telling you.
281
00:10:37,082 --> 00:10:39,284
Looks like we are going dumpster diving.
282
00:10:39,285 --> 00:10:40,685
Great.
283
00:10:40,686 --> 00:10:43,588
♪ Come with me, Amy, to the dumpster ♪
284
00:10:43,589 --> 00:10:46,324
♪ Me and Amy going diving
in the dumpster ♪
285
00:10:46,358 --> 00:10:47,825
I can't believe you would ever
286
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,160
consider leaving this job.
287
00:10:49,194 --> 00:10:51,362
This is real police work, and you love it.
288
00:10:51,363 --> 00:10:52,931
Remember that time you had
to shove your hand
289
00:10:52,932 --> 00:10:54,732
down that woman's throat
to get her car keys?
290
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:57,969
Why do you even care if I leave?
291
00:10:58,003 --> 00:10:59,971
Because the vulture is the worst.
292
00:10:59,972 --> 00:11:01,606
That whole division is the worst.
293
00:11:01,607 --> 00:11:04,108
They steal cases.
It's the lowest of the low.
294
00:11:04,143 --> 00:11:05,176
So if I transferred somewhere else,
295
00:11:05,177 --> 00:11:06,177
you wouldn't care at all?
296
00:11:06,178 --> 00:11:08,479
No, of course not.
297
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,816
Do whatever you want,
you know, it's your life.
298
00:11:13,118 --> 00:11:15,486
Aha!
The jacket.
299
00:11:15,521 --> 00:11:16,821
This case is heating up.
300
00:11:16,822 --> 00:11:18,456
Ooh, receipt in the pocket.
301
00:11:18,457 --> 00:11:20,325
Dust it for prints.
And send a scan to Boyle.
302
00:11:20,359 --> 00:11:23,194
Yes. You're feeling it now.
Whoo!
303
00:11:23,195 --> 00:11:25,663
The thief's name is Benjamin Disanto.
304
00:11:25,698 --> 00:11:26,831
Here's an old mug shot.
305
00:11:26,832 --> 00:11:28,466
He's surprisingly photogenic.
306
00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:29,867
A lot of criminals are, strangely.
307
00:11:29,902 --> 00:11:31,302
He doesn't work here.
308
00:11:31,303 --> 00:11:33,137
Must have stolen the bellhop uniform.
309
00:11:33,138 --> 00:11:34,472
Receptionist just spotted Disanto
310
00:11:34,473 --> 00:11:35,740
entering the Salieri ballroom.
311
00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:37,008
What's going on in there?
312
00:11:37,009 --> 00:11:38,543
An auction of Greek antiquities.
313
00:11:38,544 --> 00:11:41,145
I believe it's
pronounced "antiques."
314
00:11:41,146 --> 00:11:43,648
I'm sorry about my partner.
He's never been to a museum.
315
00:11:43,649 --> 00:11:45,850
Have so.
Wax museums don't count.
316
00:11:45,851 --> 00:11:47,251
Then why are they called museums?
317
00:11:47,252 --> 00:11:48,252
It's right there in the name.
318
00:11:48,253 --> 00:11:49,554
Oh, my God.
Come on.
319
00:11:49,555 --> 00:11:51,823
It's going really well, sir.
320
00:11:51,824 --> 00:11:54,392
We've gone from 10 cases
per hour to almost 20.
321
00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:56,260
It's good, but we can do better.
322
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:59,597
Tell me about
the Boyle-linetti reaction.
323
00:11:59,598 --> 00:12:00,898
Boyle gets cold a lot
324
00:12:00,899 --> 00:12:02,567
because of what he calls his...
325
00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:04,547
Medically diagnosed thin skin.
326
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,537
So he goes to the lost and found,
327
00:12:06,538 --> 00:12:09,841
and he grabs something
that's usually unflattering.
328
00:12:09,842 --> 00:12:12,543
That's when Gina gets involved.
329
00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:15,680
Sweet sweater, Charles.
330
00:12:15,681 --> 00:12:17,548
You look like you're starring
in an Albanian remake
331
00:12:17,549 --> 00:12:19,050
of the cosby show.
332
00:12:19,084 --> 00:12:22,120
Dr. Huxtable, Dr. Huxtable.
333
00:12:22,121 --> 00:12:24,522
Gina is completely useless
334
00:12:24,523 --> 00:12:26,691
when Boyle is wearing
lost-and-found clothes.
335
00:12:26,725 --> 00:12:28,693
Well, I really can't blame her
on this one.
336
00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:31,362
Maybe we should just,
empty lost and found.
337
00:12:31,397 --> 00:12:32,697
Already done, sir.
338
00:12:33,966 --> 00:12:36,434
Good lord.
Where did he get that?
339
00:12:36,468 --> 00:12:39,404
Oh, my God, we're doomed.
Boyle looks like a lesbian.
340
00:12:39,438 --> 00:12:40,638
He must have gotten it
341
00:12:40,639 --> 00:12:42,373
from the evidence locker or something.
342
00:12:42,374 --> 00:12:43,373
Don't worry.
343
00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:45,376
I had a backup plan.
344
00:12:45,377 --> 00:12:47,879
I distracted her with a mirror.
345
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,214
She's like a cockatiel, sir...
346
00:12:50,249 --> 00:12:52,750
Fascinated by her own reflection.
347
00:12:52,785 --> 00:12:55,753
Hello, sexy,
how are you?
348
00:12:55,754 --> 00:12:57,221
Right back at ya.
349
00:12:57,256 --> 00:12:58,656
Well done.
350
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:03,728
Good afternoon, sir,
I'm Detective Peralta.
351
00:13:03,729 --> 00:13:05,263
This is Detective
always-stays-loyal.
352
00:13:05,264 --> 00:13:07,231
She's named after her father
Alvin stays-loyal.
353
00:13:07,232 --> 00:13:08,566
We're tracking a thief that's stolen
354
00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,134
thousands of dollars worth of jewelry.
355
00:13:10,169 --> 00:13:11,769
We think he's scouting auction winners,
356
00:13:11,804 --> 00:13:13,171
so he can rob their rooms.
357
00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:15,807
We called for backup,
but we need to move now.
358
00:13:15,808 --> 00:13:16,968
And we have to keep it quiet.
359
00:13:16,975 --> 00:13:18,342
What can I do to help?
360
00:13:18,343 --> 00:13:19,711
Well, there's too many people in here.
361
00:13:19,745 --> 00:13:21,112
I need a better vantage point.
362
00:13:21,113 --> 00:13:22,947
Any way I can get up onstage
by the podium?
363
00:13:22,948 --> 00:13:24,482
You'll blow our cover if you go up there.
364
00:13:24,483 --> 00:13:25,950
You don't exactly blend in.
365
00:13:25,951 --> 00:13:28,753
Yeah.
366
00:13:28,754 --> 00:13:30,755
Irwin, how would you
like to have the honor
367
00:13:30,756 --> 00:13:32,023
of being the first man to undress
368
00:13:32,024 --> 00:13:35,226
in front of Amy Santiago?
Okay.
369
00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:40,304
Here we go.
370
00:13:40,305 --> 00:13:41,472
Hello, everyone.
371
00:13:41,473 --> 00:13:43,407
My name is Roger Strikewell,
372
00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:45,843
and I will be your guest
auctioneer this evening.
373
00:13:45,844 --> 00:13:48,412
So many faces to look at.
374
00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:49,913
I won a radio contest,
375
00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:51,482
and I'm so excited to be here tonight
376
00:13:51,483 --> 00:13:54,385
to sell you all of
these cool, old, Greek things.
377
00:13:54,419 --> 00:13:58,522
Our first item up for bid
is lot number 344.
378
00:13:58,523 --> 00:14:02,326
It is this old "vase,"
"vahs" if you're nasty.
379
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:06,330
It was made
in the year... five
380
00:14:06,331 --> 00:14:10,701
and depicts the classic Greek fable:
381
00:14:10,702 --> 00:14:13,437
Boy meets girl, boy has goat legs.
382
00:14:13,438 --> 00:14:16,173
And on the back,
just a whole bunch of wheat.
383
00:14:16,174 --> 00:14:19,109
So let's start the bidding at $10.
384
00:14:20,178 --> 00:14:22,312
Okay, started it way too low.
385
00:14:24,015 --> 00:14:25,449
We've done it, sir.
386
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,550
If we stay on this pace,
387
00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:28,252
I think we'll finish on time.
388
00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:29,453
I think we should keep going,
389
00:14:29,487 --> 00:14:32,156
make the office even more efficient.
390
00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:34,992
Sir, are you familiar
with the story of icarus?
391
00:14:34,993 --> 00:14:36,560
He didn't know when to quit.
392
00:14:36,561 --> 00:14:38,662
He flew too close to the sun,
393
00:14:38,663 --> 00:14:41,365
and his wax wings melted, and he died.
394
00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:43,701
Are you familiar
with the story of Moneyball?
395
00:14:43,702 --> 00:14:45,803
A man uses statistics and logic
396
00:14:45,804 --> 00:14:47,204
to win several baseball games.
397
00:14:47,205 --> 00:14:48,605
It's my favorite film.
398
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,674
The statistical analysis...
399
00:14:50,675 --> 00:14:54,049
It's so beautiful.
400
00:14:54,079 --> 00:14:55,813
This office is becoming a powerhouse
401
00:14:55,814 --> 00:14:57,347
of paperwork processing.
402
00:14:57,348 --> 00:14:59,183
I'm flying high, sergeant,
403
00:14:59,184 --> 00:15:02,219
and I'm never coming down.
404
00:15:04,389 --> 00:15:06,023
I have 85.
Do I have 90?
405
00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:10,060
I have 90 from the man
with the face at table four.
406
00:15:10,095 --> 00:15:12,730
This is terrible... you don't know
what you're doing.
407
00:15:12,731 --> 00:15:14,498
Adam Sandier?
Yeah, that's right.
408
00:15:14,499 --> 00:15:17,668
I collect antiquities.
I'm a serious person.
409
00:15:17,669 --> 00:15:20,237
I'm writing a movie right now
about the Russian revolution.
410
00:15:20,271 --> 00:15:22,339
Oh, really?
Who does Kevin James play in it?
411
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,908
Ha, ha.
It's a serious movie.
412
00:15:24,909 --> 00:15:26,977
Trotsky.
There it is.
413
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:29,179
But he's got a wife who never wears a bra.
414
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:31,081
I think you're gonna like it.
415
00:15:31,082 --> 00:15:32,443
Thanks for dressing up, by the way.
416
00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:33,951
All right, back to this plate.
417
00:15:33,952 --> 00:15:36,220
I think you could use it
for a variety of things.
418
00:15:36,221 --> 00:15:37,621
New item up there.
How much you guys
419
00:15:37,622 --> 00:15:39,022
wanna pay for me to stick my socks
420
00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:40,791
in this moron's mouth?
I will.
421
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:42,392
Did football legend Joe Theismann
422
00:15:42,393 --> 00:15:44,394
just bid $1,000 to put a sock in my mouth?
423
00:15:44,429 --> 00:15:46,563
You bet. Okay, but let's get
it going a little higher.
424
00:15:46,564 --> 00:15:48,432
Seriously, back to the porno plate...
425
00:15:48,433 --> 00:15:51,034
1,200 bucks, sock in the mouth?
426
00:15:51,069 --> 00:15:53,103
Boom, okay, the idiot
gets the sock in the mouth.
427
00:15:53,104 --> 00:15:55,139
I'd say 1,300 would be even better.
428
00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,406
1,300!
429
00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:58,375
Joe Theismann coming in strong.
430
00:15:58,376 --> 00:15:59,710
I got 1,300.
25,000 from...
431
00:15:59,711 --> 00:16:00,878
and a one and a two and a...
432
00:16:00,912 --> 00:16:03,947
Boom, sold to Joey Theismann!
433
00:16:03,982 --> 00:16:05,949
Congratulations, you're getting
a sock in your mouth,
434
00:16:05,984 --> 00:16:07,518
1,300 bucks, Joe Theismann.
435
00:16:07,552 --> 00:16:08,919
Can I stick the sock in his mouth?
436
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,120
I'll pay extra.
437
00:16:10,121 --> 00:16:11,421
Yes, you may, because I just
438
00:16:11,422 --> 00:16:13,590
sold my item to the man
439
00:16:13,591 --> 00:16:15,159
in the gray shirt at table 18.
440
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,227
NYPD. You're under arrest.
441
00:16:17,228 --> 00:16:18,295
Heading your way.
442
00:16:26,137 --> 00:16:27,504
Gotcha!
443
00:16:27,505 --> 00:16:30,007
My leg! My leg!
444
00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:33,076
You broke my other leg.
445
00:16:33,077 --> 00:16:35,913
Oh, this was supposed to be a safe event.
446
00:16:35,914 --> 00:16:36,914
Nothing to see here.
447
00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:38,682
Except for the bone,
448
00:16:38,683 --> 00:16:40,551
sticking out of the leg.
449
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:42,820
Joe, I video'd it!
450
00:16:42,854 --> 00:16:44,454
What a day?
451
00:16:44,455 --> 00:16:46,623
Met Adam Sandier,
broke Joe Theismann's leg,
452
00:16:46,624 --> 00:16:48,292
and solved an awesome case together.
453
00:16:48,293 --> 00:16:49,593
Yeah, good day.
454
00:16:49,594 --> 00:16:50,761
Hell yeah, it is.
455
00:16:50,762 --> 00:16:52,095
Drinks are on me.
456
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:53,831
Jake, I'm still doing the interview.
457
00:16:53,832 --> 00:16:55,432
What?
458
00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:57,167
No.
459
00:16:57,168 --> 00:16:58,602
Don't do that.
460
00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:00,270
We still have to process the perp.
461
00:17:00,271 --> 00:17:01,839
You love processing...
It's your favorite thing,
462
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,140
after organizing your emails
463
00:17:03,141 --> 00:17:04,842
and replacing toilet paper rolls.
464
00:17:04,843 --> 00:17:07,444
This job would be
a great opportunity for me.
465
00:17:07,445 --> 00:17:09,713
Okay, whatever.
You know what?
466
00:17:09,714 --> 00:17:11,381
You're being a bad partner.
467
00:17:11,382 --> 00:17:13,317
You're joining forces with the enemy.
468
00:17:13,318 --> 00:17:15,552
And from now on, I'm gonna
call you "the cheetah."
469
00:17:15,553 --> 00:17:17,454
They're scavengers, just like vultures.
470
00:17:17,455 --> 00:17:18,622
And I kinda wish I hadn't said it,
471
00:17:18,623 --> 00:17:19,957
'cause they're pretty cool.
472
00:17:19,958 --> 00:17:22,559
Come on, jewel thief.
473
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,895
You're my only friend now.
474
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:30,376
Scully, what are you doing at my desk?
475
00:17:30,377 --> 00:17:31,544
And working?
476
00:17:31,578 --> 00:17:32,974
What is going on today?
477
00:17:32,980 --> 00:17:34,580
The Captain put me here.
478
00:17:34,581 --> 00:17:36,582
Says I waste time
when I sit next to Hitchcock.
479
00:17:39,253 --> 00:17:43,022
Okay, well, go work in the break room.
480
00:17:43,057 --> 00:17:44,257
Hello, Peralta.
481
00:17:44,258 --> 00:17:45,758
A human greeting, nicely done.
482
00:17:45,759 --> 00:17:47,093
Updates on the case?
483
00:17:47,094 --> 00:17:48,428
Well, you're gonna love this one.
484
00:17:48,429 --> 00:17:49,796
We busted the guy for grand larceny.
485
00:17:49,797 --> 00:17:51,164
And to celebrate, Santiago is taking
486
00:17:51,165 --> 00:17:52,932
a job interview at major crimes.
487
00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:54,037
Can you believe that?
488
00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:56,002
Yes, she told me yesterday.
What?
489
00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:57,970
Why didn't you try and talk her out of it?
490
00:17:57,971 --> 00:17:59,238
She would literally shave her head
491
00:17:59,239 --> 00:18:00,506
if you asked her to.
492
00:18:00,507 --> 00:18:02,108
Which, by the way, is a great idea
493
00:18:02,109 --> 00:18:03,409
for a prank, if you're
looking to prank her.
494
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,345
Santiago wants to make Captain one day.
495
00:18:05,346 --> 00:18:06,946
I know, because I've frequently caught her
496
00:18:06,947 --> 00:18:09,015
wearing my hat and looking into a mirror.
497
00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:11,951
Dismissed.
498
00:18:13,654 --> 00:18:16,089
I support her decision.
499
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:17,523
That's what good detectives do.
500
00:18:17,524 --> 00:18:21,397
They have each other's back,
no matter what.
501
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,700
All right, let's move on
502
00:18:27,701 --> 00:18:30,436
to your unpaid parking tickets.
503
00:18:30,471 --> 00:18:32,538
Dude. Dude, fire.
504
00:18:32,539 --> 00:18:34,273
Oh, my. Fire.
505
00:18:34,274 --> 00:18:36,676
Hey! Fire!
506
00:18:36,677 --> 00:18:38,478
Oh, I-I got it, okay.
507
00:18:38,512 --> 00:18:39,512
Here we go.
Here we go, Boyle.
508
00:18:39,546 --> 00:18:42,682
I got it.
509
00:18:42,683 --> 00:18:44,150
What happened, Scully?
510
00:18:44,184 --> 00:18:45,485
I didn't know there was a toaster there.
511
00:18:45,486 --> 00:18:46,786
Why is the toaster there?
512
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,020
oh.
Aah!
513
00:18:48,021 --> 00:18:49,055
My fringe!
514
00:18:49,056 --> 00:18:50,223
My beautiful fringe!
515
00:18:50,224 --> 00:18:51,657
Boyle's on fire!
516
00:18:54,061 --> 00:18:55,194
Icarus.
517
00:18:55,195 --> 00:18:57,330
Extinguisher's empty, morons.
518
00:18:57,331 --> 00:19:00,466
Aah!
519
00:19:01,902 --> 00:19:05,805
Back to the drawing board.
520
00:19:05,806 --> 00:19:08,374
Sir, I'm begging you,
please, we have to stop.
521
00:19:08,375 --> 00:19:10,209
Boyle is still smoldering.
522
00:19:10,244 --> 00:19:12,512
The problem is, we didn't
take Peralta into account.
523
00:19:12,513 --> 00:19:14,013
In our next trial...
524
00:19:17,684 --> 00:19:20,686
Hello, boys.
Welcome to your own office.
525
00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:23,756
I hear you're trying to make
the precinct more efficient.
526
00:19:23,757 --> 00:19:25,425
Gina, what are you doing
in the Captain's chair?
527
00:19:25,426 --> 00:19:27,960
Please, I'm open to any ideas
about efficiency.
528
00:19:27,995 --> 00:19:31,164
I've narrowed the problem
down to one location:
529
00:19:31,165 --> 00:19:33,699
The Holt-Jeffords vortex.
530
00:19:33,734 --> 00:19:35,735
Things would go a lot faster
if the two of you
531
00:19:35,769 --> 00:19:38,371
did less experimenting and more working.
532
00:19:38,372 --> 00:19:41,340
And I'm not the only one who thinks that.
533
00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:45,244
You melted my fringe.
534
00:19:45,245 --> 00:19:46,612
You think I have an anger problem?
535
00:19:46,613 --> 00:19:49,048
I don't.
You are both dead to me.
536
00:19:49,082 --> 00:19:51,384
Well, I suppose it's possible
537
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:52,952
we may have been a tad enthusiastic
538
00:19:52,953 --> 00:19:54,587
in our pursuit of efficiency...
539
00:19:54,621 --> 00:19:57,089
Really?
A tad, icarus?
540
00:19:57,090 --> 00:20:00,126
Fine, message received.
541
00:20:00,127 --> 00:20:02,261
Jeffords and I will get right to work.
542
00:20:02,296 --> 00:20:05,031
Great, that will be all.
Thank you.
543
00:20:05,065 --> 00:20:06,632
Get the hell out of my chair.
544
00:20:06,633 --> 00:20:08,434
All right, I pushed it
a little bit on that one.
545
00:20:08,469 --> 00:20:10,970
Okay, bye.
546
00:20:12,639 --> 00:20:14,607
Santiago.
547
00:20:14,641 --> 00:20:16,943
Before you go in there,
there's something I have to say.
548
00:20:16,944 --> 00:20:18,544
I'm sorry I said you were a bad partner.
549
00:20:18,545 --> 00:20:20,179
I was the bad partner.
550
00:20:20,214 --> 00:20:22,582
The truth is, our job isn't always great.
551
00:20:22,583 --> 00:20:23,950
I mean, sometimes it sucks.
552
00:20:23,951 --> 00:20:26,052
But it sucks a little less
553
00:20:26,053 --> 00:20:27,453
when I get to do it with you.
554
00:20:27,454 --> 00:20:29,989
So when you said you were gonna leave,
555
00:20:29,990 --> 00:20:31,257
I freaked out, and that was dumb.
556
00:20:31,258 --> 00:20:33,793
I should've been more supportive.
557
00:20:33,827 --> 00:20:35,094
You're a great Detective,
558
00:20:35,095 --> 00:20:36,963
and they'd be lucky to have you.
559
00:20:36,964 --> 00:20:39,265
In fact, if it helps,
560
00:20:39,266 --> 00:20:41,634
I wrote you a letter of recommendation,
561
00:20:41,635 --> 00:20:43,369
which is riddled with
spelling errors, I might add.
562
00:20:43,403 --> 00:20:45,638
Including the word, "recommendation,"
563
00:20:45,639 --> 00:20:48,140
which is just... I don't have
to tell you about that.
564
00:20:48,141 --> 00:20:49,976
There's no way there's four "M" s
in that word, right?
565
00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:51,644
I already turned down the job.
566
00:20:51,678 --> 00:20:53,379
Seriously?
567
00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:55,982
In the end, you were right.
I don't wanna sit at a desk.
568
00:20:55,983 --> 00:20:59,085
And right now, I like where I am.
569
00:21:00,587 --> 00:21:02,588
But thanks
for thinking I'm great.
570
00:21:02,589 --> 00:21:04,657
No, I take back all
of the things I just said.
571
00:21:04,691 --> 00:21:07,026
You said
I was a good Detective,
572
00:21:07,027 --> 00:21:09,061
and you were nice.
573
00:21:09,096 --> 00:21:10,663
This is my nightmare.
574
00:21:10,664 --> 00:21:12,265
Lookee, lookee.
575
00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:14,433
I thought I saw your big,
white ass lumbering around.
576
00:21:14,434 --> 00:21:16,536
As for you, Santiago,
well, now you certainly
577
00:21:16,537 --> 00:21:18,170
showed your true colors, didn't you?
578
00:21:18,171 --> 00:21:20,406
And they're a shade of pink
called "loser."
579
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,008
All right, everybody just calm down.
580
00:21:22,009 --> 00:21:23,809
There's no reason we can't be friends.
581
00:21:23,810 --> 00:21:26,379
Here, I brought you a peace offering.
582
00:21:26,380 --> 00:21:28,147
Run!
583
00:21:28,148 --> 00:21:31,050
Oh.
584
00:21:31,051 --> 00:21:35,899
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
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