1
00:00:00,534 --> 00:00:03,023
For you.
2
00:00:03,024 --> 00:00:04,057
And you.
3
00:00:04,092 --> 00:00:05,559
And you.
4
00:00:05,594 --> 00:00:06,694
What are these?
5
00:00:06,728 --> 00:00:08,328
These, madam,
6
00:00:08,363 --> 00:00:11,399
are STDs.
7
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,633
What are you talking
about, buddy?
8
00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:16,169
STDs. Save the dates.
For Vivian and my wedding.
9
00:00:16,170 --> 00:00:18,005
Ah, yes.
10
00:00:18,039 --> 00:00:19,305
Hey, just out of curiosity,
11
00:00:19,306 --> 00:00:21,040
how many people
have you given STDs to?
12
00:00:21,074 --> 00:00:22,909
Lots. Like 100.
13
00:00:24,512 --> 00:00:25,745
What's going on?
14
00:00:25,746 --> 00:00:29,181
Uh... oh, okay. I get it.
"STD" has another meaning.
15
00:00:29,216 --> 00:00:30,683
You're gross.
16
00:00:30,718 --> 00:00:32,385
No one else
is gonna think that.
17
00:00:32,386 --> 00:00:34,153
Everyone
is going to think that.
18
00:00:34,154 --> 00:00:35,788
But it's sweet that your mind
didn't go there.
19
00:00:35,789 --> 00:00:37,589
Thank you.
It is kinda sweet.
20
00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:39,991
Will your first dance
be to you give me fever?
21
00:00:40,026 --> 00:00:41,660
Will you be serving crabs
at the reception?
22
00:00:41,661 --> 00:00:42,994
Do you have herpes?
23
00:00:43,029 --> 00:00:45,564
Guys, this is my wedding.
This is important to me.
24
00:00:45,565 --> 00:00:46,998
No more jokes.
25
00:00:47,033 --> 00:00:48,400
You're right,
and we're sorry.
26
00:00:48,401 --> 00:00:50,668
We love you, buddy.
Warts and all.
27
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,336
Sorry, I made
a rash decision.
28
00:00:52,337 --> 00:00:55,406
I was itching to say it. Okay, I'm done.
29
00:00:55,407 --> 00:00:58,910
I have an STD.
30
00:00:58,944 --> 00:01:00,578
So just RSVP, or...
31
00:01:00,612 --> 00:01:01,879
Yeah, the number's
right on there...
32
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:02,879
Great. Thank you.
33
00:01:02,881 --> 00:01:06,601
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.Com/
34
00:01:22,934 --> 00:01:24,200
Whoo!
35
00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:25,868
Happy Tactical
Village Day.
36
00:01:25,902 --> 00:01:27,170
Happy Tactical
Village Day.
37
00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:29,572
Happy Tactical Village Day.
38
00:01:29,573 --> 00:01:30,873
Peralta,
I'm surprised to see you
39
00:01:30,907 --> 00:01:33,576
so excited about departmentally
mandated training exercises.
40
00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:35,644
It's the most fun day
of the year.
41
00:01:35,645 --> 00:01:36,946
Something you
wouldn't understand,
42
00:01:36,947 --> 00:01:39,014
because you're not
programmed to feel joy.
43
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,916
Yes, but my software is due
for an exuberance upgrade.
44
00:01:41,951 --> 00:01:43,651
You know, when you play along
with the robot jokes
45
00:01:43,652 --> 00:01:45,354
it kind of ruins
my enjoyment of them.
46
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,155
Yes, I know.
47
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,424
Anyways, Tactical Village Day
is awesome.
48
00:01:49,425 --> 00:01:51,693
We get to field test a bunch
of cool, new weapons,
49
00:01:51,727 --> 00:01:53,362
and there's always
a new training situation.
50
00:01:53,396 --> 00:01:54,996
Last year's was prison break.
51
00:01:54,997 --> 00:01:57,531
It got super violent.
52
00:02:01,436 --> 00:02:03,371
It's like being
in an action movie.
53
00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:05,139
It's also a good
opportunity for us
54
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:07,308
to let off steam
and bond as a unit.
55
00:02:07,309 --> 00:02:08,609
Everybody gets into it.
56
00:02:26,227 --> 00:02:29,361
Needless to say, the nine-nine
has never had a perfect run.
57
00:02:29,362 --> 00:02:30,562
True, but Jake has been
58
00:02:30,563 --> 00:02:32,964
the finalist for coolest kill
two years in a row.
59
00:02:32,999 --> 00:02:34,799
That's every precinct
sending around
60
00:02:34,834 --> 00:02:36,335
their footage
and all the cops voting.
61
00:02:36,336 --> 00:02:38,003
It's not that
big of a deal.
62
00:02:38,004 --> 00:02:41,440
All you win is a children's
karate trophy, so...
63
00:02:41,474 --> 00:02:43,008
You desperately want it,
don't you?
64
00:02:43,009 --> 00:02:45,443
So badly. I will stop at nothing
to get that trophy.
65
00:02:45,444 --> 00:02:48,746
I'll shoot you all
in the face if I have to!
66
00:02:48,747 --> 00:02:50,381
Go team.
67
00:02:50,382 --> 00:02:52,583
Gina, the D.A. needs copies
68
00:02:52,584 --> 00:02:54,752
of our interrogation transcripts
from the Adams case.
69
00:02:54,786 --> 00:02:56,720
Gina?
70
00:02:56,721 --> 00:02:58,089
Gina.
71
00:03:03,761 --> 00:03:05,429
Gina.
72
00:03:05,463 --> 00:03:07,897
Sorry. I was playing
Kwazy Cupcakes.
73
00:03:07,898 --> 00:03:09,699
Crazy cupcakes?
74
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,868
"Kwazy" with a "w."
A backwards "w."
75
00:03:11,869 --> 00:03:13,036
No such thing
as a backwards "w."
76
00:03:13,071 --> 00:03:17,139
Yeah, there is. See?
77
00:03:17,174 --> 00:03:18,907
Okay, how you play...
You just line up three cupcakes
78
00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:22,244
with the same color frosting...
Ka-bam.
79
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,446
And this little
game of yours,
80
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,200
it's more interesting to you
than your work?
81
00:03:25,215 --> 00:03:29,051
Yeah. Kwazy Cupcakes is a lot
more interesting than this.
82
00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,719
Stop saying "kwazy."
83
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,621
And stop playing this inane
garbage. It's embarrassing.
84
00:03:33,655 --> 00:03:35,590
Say it to my face.
85
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:36,724
I did.
You were looking at your phone.
86
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,926
Oh, cool. My B.
87
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,130
Great news,
I think I figured out my persona
88
00:03:41,131 --> 00:03:42,564
for this year'
tactical villa..
89
00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:45,233
Introducing Rex Buckingham
90
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:48,302
British secret agent,
ballistics expert,
91
00:03:48,336 --> 00:03:50,304
and ladies' man.
92
00:03:50,338 --> 00:03:52,339
Yeah, 'cause what woman
doesn't love a guy
93
00:03:52,340 --> 00:03:53,707
who's super into
make-believe?
94
00:03:53,741 --> 00:03:55,942
This whole training simulation
is make-believe.
95
00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:58,545
We shoot paint at fake bad guys.
It's called acting.
96
00:03:58,546 --> 00:04:00,614
Tell me how I'm any different
than George Clooney.
97
00:04:00,648 --> 00:04:01,681
He has a sexy voice.
98
00:04:01,716 --> 00:04:03,149
I have a sexy voice.
99
00:04:03,150 --> 00:04:06,785
Champagne.
Mountain range. Hugs.
100
00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:08,621
"Mountain range"?
101
00:04:08,655 --> 00:04:10,055
I couldn't think
of anything sexy to say.
102
00:04:10,056 --> 00:04:12,858
What? Mountain range, it's
the sexiest geological feature.
103
00:04:12,859 --> 00:04:15,861
No, wait, sorry.
Deep sea trench.
104
00:04:15,895 --> 00:04:18,498
I think I'm gonna
go talk to Rosa.
105
00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:20,298
You try to think
of some sexier words.
106
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:22,800
Jesuit. Horticulture.
107
00:04:22,835 --> 00:04:25,903
Lam-buh.
108
00:04:25,904 --> 00:04:28,173
What is going on
with you two?
109
00:04:28,207 --> 00:04:29,941
Come on, Boyle,
not this again.
110
00:04:29,975 --> 00:04:31,476
You gotta admit
there's a spark.
111
00:04:31,511 --> 00:04:33,044
How many times do I have to
say it? She's like a sister.
112
00:04:33,078 --> 00:04:35,079
That's what Luke
said about Leia.
113
00:04:35,114 --> 00:04:37,981
Hey, Luke didn't know!
No one knew!
114
00:04:39,851 --> 00:04:42,386
Okay, Stella. All right.
Oh, no, no problem.
115
00:04:42,387 --> 00:04:44,188
Okay, all right, bye.
116
00:04:44,189 --> 00:04:45,656
Damn!
117
00:04:45,657 --> 00:04:47,724
Our babysitter's busy
the night of Boyle's wedding.
118
00:04:47,759 --> 00:04:50,161
She's gonna be in
her High School talent show.
119
00:04:50,195 --> 00:04:51,661
Which she's gonna lose,
unless her talent is leaving
120
00:04:51,662 --> 00:04:53,829
potato chip crumbs
all over Terry's couch.
121
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:55,231
Wait, Boyle set
a date already?
122
00:04:55,232 --> 00:04:57,800
Yeah, he gave out
save the dates yesterday.
123
00:04:57,801 --> 00:04:59,269
He didn't give you one?
124
00:04:59,303 --> 00:05:02,938
I think he's been
avoiding me.
125
00:05:02,939 --> 00:05:05,542
Hey.
126
00:05:05,543 --> 00:05:07,709
Uh-oh, I hate pizza!
127
00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:08,810
He didn't invite me
to his wedding,
128
00:05:08,811 --> 00:05:10,979
and he's scared
like a little bitch.
129
00:05:11,013 --> 00:05:13,482
Well, maybe Vivian was
uncomfortable with you coming.
130
00:05:13,516 --> 00:05:15,817
Look, Boyle was in love with you
until a few weeks ago.
131
00:05:15,851 --> 00:05:18,487
Oh, don't be angry.
132
00:05:18,521 --> 00:05:21,790
I'm not angry.
I think it's funny.
133
00:05:28,163 --> 00:05:32,533
One hot pile of boring
coming in.
134
00:05:32,568 --> 00:05:35,035
Thank you, Gina.
Dismissed.
135
00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:36,170
You're dismissed.
136
00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,438
What you doing in here?
137
00:05:37,472 --> 00:05:39,673
Nothing.
138
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,575
Okay, cool, can I just
see your phone for a second?
139
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,743
I may have been playing...
140
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,345
Crazy cupcakes.
141
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,380
Okay, Captain,
I think we're past the point
142
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:49,782
of you being too proud to say the "w."
Fine.
143
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:54,221
I might have been
playing...
144
00:05:54,255 --> 00:05:55,721
Kwazy Cupcakes.
145
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:56,855
It's so addictive, right?
146
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:58,724
I play so much that when
I close my eyes at night,
147
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,126
I just see cupcakes now,
148
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:04,496
instead of my normal dizzying
array of flashing lights.
149
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,766
Yes, well, I have a tremendous
amount of self-control.
150
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,201
I don't think I'll
have any problem
151
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,469
resisting this silly game.
152
00:06:11,503 --> 00:06:13,338
As a matter of fact,
153
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,473
I've deleted
the application.
154
00:06:15,507 --> 00:06:17,808
There. Hmm.
155
00:06:17,809 --> 00:06:19,677
Does this mean
I've lost my progress?
156
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:23,814
Well, doesn't matter,
because I'm done.
157
00:06:23,849 --> 00:06:26,984
The nine-nine
is in the village.
158
00:06:26,985 --> 00:06:28,485
Nine-nine!
159
00:06:28,486 --> 00:06:29,686
Hey, Ronnie.
160
00:06:29,721 --> 00:06:30,954
They upgraded you
from bystander to perp.
161
00:06:30,988 --> 00:06:32,222
That's great, man.
162
00:06:32,257 --> 00:06:33,423
Thank you.
163
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:35,825
I'm gonna blow
your brains out.
164
00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,927
Amy Santiago.
165
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:38,995
Teddy!
166
00:06:39,029 --> 00:06:41,030
Hey.
Oh, my God.
167
00:06:41,031 --> 00:06:42,866
It's been so long.
What are you doing here?
168
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:45,635
I'm with the eight-two now.
We're paired with you today.
169
00:06:45,669 --> 00:06:48,404
Yeah. Quick. 10-54L.
170
00:06:48,438 --> 00:06:51,206
Ambulance case.
Severed limb.
171
00:06:52,208 --> 00:06:54,410
What is going on here?
172
00:06:54,411 --> 00:06:56,178
Teddy and I met at code camp.
173
00:06:56,179 --> 00:06:59,481
It was a voluntary refresher
course on police codes.
174
00:06:59,515 --> 00:07:01,583
Some long nights
of intense memorizing.
175
00:07:01,584 --> 00:07:03,318
It was pretty dope.
176
00:07:03,352 --> 00:07:04,486
Sounds dope.
177
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,721
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
178
00:07:06,722 --> 00:07:07,689
Well, I'm gonna go sign in,
but we should catch up later.
179
00:07:07,723 --> 00:07:10,024
Yeah.
Great seeing you.
180
00:07:10,058 --> 00:07:11,693
You too.
181
00:07:11,727 --> 00:07:13,495
Who's that guy?
182
00:07:13,529 --> 00:07:17,631
Uh, that was Teddy. We went on,
like, five dates last year.
183
00:07:17,666 --> 00:07:19,199
I liked him, but he was
stationed out in Queens,
184
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,835
so I never got to see him,
and it sort of fizzled.
185
00:07:21,869 --> 00:07:23,937
Right, that's the guy you said
the lame stuff about.
186
00:07:23,971 --> 00:07:25,278
Like "he's a good listener."
187
00:07:25,307 --> 00:07:27,841
I'm sorry, what do you
look for in a guy?
188
00:07:27,875 --> 00:07:28,909
I don't know, real stuff.
189
00:07:28,910 --> 00:07:32,044
Shape of his ass.
190
00:07:32,045 --> 00:07:34,447
All right.
191
00:07:34,481 --> 00:07:36,416
So weird that Amy
dated that guy.
192
00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:38,384
What do you care so much?
193
00:07:38,385 --> 00:07:39,485
Okay, first of all,
194
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,521
your insinuating voice
is way too high.
195
00:07:41,555 --> 00:07:43,756
It's creepy. And second,
I don't care.
196
00:07:43,791 --> 00:07:45,925
I'm just curious
why she would like him.
197
00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:47,159
Whatever you say.
198
00:07:47,194 --> 00:07:48,627
Oh, yeah, no,
I hear it now.
199
00:07:48,628 --> 00:07:51,062
Yeah, I sound like Meryl Streep
from Mamma Mia.
200
00:07:53,903 --> 00:07:57,472
Oh, this is so cool.
You can shoot around corners.
201
00:07:57,473 --> 00:08:00,174
I love guns. I'm gonna
make such a good dad.
202
00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:01,375
Not even gonna touch that.
203
00:08:01,410 --> 00:08:04,144
The Amy Santiago story.
204
00:08:04,145 --> 00:08:06,346
Santiago.
Got one for ya.
205
00:08:06,347 --> 00:08:07,815
10-51.
206
00:08:07,816 --> 00:08:10,350
Roving gang, specify direction
of travel and number in group.
207
00:08:10,351 --> 00:08:12,152
At least make me work for it.
208
00:08:12,153 --> 00:08:15,055
Hey, I got one.
How 'bout 10-69?
209
00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:16,356
That's easy.
Message received.
210
00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:19,192
And simultaneously given.
Am I right? Up top.
211
00:08:19,226 --> 00:08:20,693
69.
212
00:08:20,694 --> 00:08:22,294
Got it.
Yeah.
213
00:08:22,329 --> 00:08:24,649
So they got the new handguns in.
You want to check 'em out?
214
00:08:24,665 --> 00:08:25,665
Totally.
Of course.
215
00:08:25,666 --> 00:08:28,000
Oh, I see what happened.
216
00:08:28,034 --> 00:08:29,669
I thought he was
talking to me.
217
00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:32,438
And he clearly was.
Chop chop, Ted. Let's roll.
218
00:08:32,473 --> 00:08:33,573
Hold down the fort.
219
00:08:33,574 --> 00:08:35,341
Uh...
220
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:38,042
That's a P.U.W.
221
00:08:38,077 --> 00:08:39,744
Or a portable
ultrasonic weapon.
222
00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:42,514
It emits a focused beam of sound
which can disorient
223
00:08:42,515 --> 00:08:44,483
and even
incapacitate a perp.
224
00:08:44,484 --> 00:08:46,117
So it shoots sound?
Mm-hmm.
225
00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:47,953
Is this the trigger?
226
00:08:47,954 --> 00:08:50,154
Yes, but you want to be
careful with that.
227
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,356
Ahh... ah...
228
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:53,757
Thought it would be louder.
229
00:08:53,758 --> 00:08:55,258
It's highly directional.
230
00:08:55,259 --> 00:08:57,361
If it were pointed at you, you'd
be in incredible pain right now.
231
00:08:57,395 --> 00:08:58,762
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
232
00:08:58,797 --> 00:09:00,598
Oh! Oh! Oh...
233
00:09:00,632 --> 00:09:02,332
Why is this happening?
234
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:05,435
I can taste my thoughts!
235
00:09:05,436 --> 00:09:06,804
Enough, Diaz.
236
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:09,438
Oh, my God...
237
00:09:09,439 --> 00:09:12,141
That's pretty cool.
238
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,348
Captain Holt?
239
00:09:17,381 --> 00:09:19,115
Have you seen Captain Holt?
240
00:09:19,116 --> 00:09:22,619
Tall, handsome gentleman
dressed like an airline pilot?
241
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:25,988
No.
Okay.
242
00:09:30,693 --> 00:09:33,562
Your pants are up.
I'm coming in.
243
00:09:33,596 --> 00:09:35,664
Captain...
244
00:09:35,698 --> 00:09:38,299
Think you might have a little
bit of a problem here, boo.
245
00:09:38,334 --> 00:09:40,535
I have this under control.
246
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:43,203
You should leave.
This is the men's room.
247
00:09:43,204 --> 00:09:47,074
This is no longer a men's room.
It is now a liar's den.
248
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:50,745
I am Captain of this precinct,
and you are my assistant.
249
00:09:50,779 --> 00:09:52,547
I have given you
a direct order to leave.
250
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,782
I do not have a problem!
251
00:09:54,816 --> 00:09:56,182
If I want to play
Kwazy Cupcakes,
252
00:09:56,183 --> 00:09:59,218
I will play Kwazy Cupcakes!
253
00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:02,488
"Kwazy" is a difficult word
to say in anger,
254
00:10:02,489 --> 00:10:05,563
I think I've made
my feelings clear.
255
00:10:08,328 --> 00:10:09,462
Nice.
256
00:10:09,463 --> 00:10:11,297
Have you noticed
they moved the trigger?
257
00:10:11,331 --> 00:10:12,698
Real exciting finger feel.
258
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,833
"Finger feel"?
Really?
259
00:10:16,002 --> 00:10:18,136
Nice!
Two to the chest.
260
00:10:18,171 --> 00:10:19,337
Textbook shooting.
261
00:10:19,338 --> 00:10:21,339
Yeah, and his
overalls fell down.
262
00:10:21,374 --> 00:10:22,875
I can't believe
you would kill a farmer,
263
00:10:22,876 --> 00:10:25,010
the backbone
of our nation's economy.
264
00:10:25,045 --> 00:10:26,445
May I?
265
00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:27,679
When it comes
to shooting patterns,
266
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,682
I like to go PB&J.
Penis, brain, jaw.
267
00:10:31,784 --> 00:10:34,151
Nice shooting, man,
268
00:10:34,186 --> 00:10:35,720
but do you think the penis
is an effective target?
269
00:10:35,721 --> 00:10:38,656
A man can run
half a mile with no genitals.
270
00:10:38,691 --> 00:10:42,517
That's a weird thing
to know a lot about.
271
00:10:42,527 --> 00:10:43,594
Hey, hey.
272
00:10:43,595 --> 00:10:46,096
Okay, so I know
you're pissed at Boyle.
273
00:10:46,097 --> 00:10:47,698
I told you, shooting him
274
00:10:47,732 --> 00:10:49,432
with that sonic cannon
was an accident.
275
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,367
It's not just that.
276
00:10:53,838 --> 00:10:54,838
Aah!
277
00:10:54,839 --> 00:10:57,007
Oh! Ahh! Oh!
278
00:10:57,041 --> 00:10:59,109
Whoops. Sorry. Net gun.
279
00:10:59,143 --> 00:11:01,010
My cafe con leche!
280
00:11:01,011 --> 00:11:02,144
Aah!
281
00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:04,346
Sorry. Misfire.
282
00:11:06,349 --> 00:11:08,584
Right in my breasts!
283
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,052
So many accidents.
284
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:12,588
Look, I get it if Vivian
doesn't want me to come.
285
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:13,923
But Boyle should've
said something.
286
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:15,825
We're supposed
to be friends.
287
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:16,825
We're finally
getting along.
288
00:11:16,859 --> 00:11:20,054
Talk to him.
That's what friends do.
289
00:11:20,062 --> 00:11:21,997
Nope, I'm gonna wait till
I'm on my deathbed,
290
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:23,766
get in the last word,
and then die immediately.
291
00:11:23,799 --> 00:11:25,367
That's your plan
for dealing with this?
292
00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:26,735
That's my plan for dealing
with everything.
293
00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:28,970
I have 77 arguments
I'm gonna win that way.
294
00:11:28,971 --> 00:11:30,805
Seems like a bad plan.
295
00:11:30,806 --> 00:11:34,775
Now I have 78.
296
00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:41,249
Rex Buckingham at your service.
297
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:42,650
That was majestic.
298
00:11:42,684 --> 00:11:44,852
Custom kneepads to help me
win coolest kill.
299
00:11:44,886 --> 00:11:46,420
What, don't tell me
old Buckingham
300
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:49,292
is the only chap here
with a signature move.
301
00:11:49,323 --> 00:11:52,759
Uh, no. I'm working on a thing
where when I'm out of ammo
302
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,728
I release my mag and dropkick it
straight into someone's throat.
303
00:11:55,763 --> 00:11:58,064
Oh! My buttholes!
304
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,332
Ooh...
305
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,635
Okay, I know you have
two bullet wounds in your butt,
306
00:12:01,636 --> 00:12:04,140
but you've gotta stop
calling them your "buttholes."
307
00:12:04,171 --> 00:12:07,173
You know how people hold their
guns sideways to look cool?
308
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:11,243
It got me thinking. What if you
held your gun upside-down?
309
00:12:11,244 --> 00:12:12,344
You can use that.
310
00:12:12,379 --> 00:12:14,012
That will never happen,
my American friend.
311
00:12:15,048 --> 00:12:16,282
Eight-two's done.
Heads up.
312
00:12:16,316 --> 00:12:18,884
Hey. How'd it go?
313
00:12:18,918 --> 00:12:20,218
It went well.
314
00:12:20,252 --> 00:12:21,686
We had a perfect run.
315
00:12:21,687 --> 00:12:22,887
And not to brag,
but I think we just set
316
00:12:22,888 --> 00:12:24,422
an NYPD course record
for time.
317
00:12:24,456 --> 00:12:26,123
Definitely a brag.
318
00:12:26,158 --> 00:12:28,426
A course record?
That is so cool.
319
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:29,627
Oh, thanks. I'm psyched.
320
00:12:29,662 --> 00:12:30,662
Hey, good luck in there.
321
00:12:30,663 --> 00:12:34,632
Thanks.
All right.
322
00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:38,235
All right, huddle up.
This is how it's going down.
323
00:12:38,269 --> 00:12:39,603
What happened
to your accent, Rex?
324
00:12:39,637 --> 00:12:40,804
Forget that crap.
We're taking this seriously.
325
00:12:40,838 --> 00:12:42,239
All right, on three.
326
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,846
Let's break that course record
and be the best precinct here.
327
00:12:43,874 --> 00:12:45,682
Ready?
One, two, three!
328
00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:48,679
Let's break that course
record and...
329
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,640
Yeah, I agree, it was
too many words. Let's do it!
330
00:12:52,978 --> 00:12:54,945
Okay, I've got the details
for this simulation.
331
00:12:54,946 --> 00:12:56,481
A group of armed men
entered an embassy
332
00:12:56,482 --> 00:12:57,815
and have taken hostages.
333
00:12:57,816 --> 00:13:00,384
Which embassy?
Doesn't matter.
334
00:13:00,418 --> 00:13:02,319
Fine. Canada, then.
335
00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:04,622
So take out the perps, clear the
civilians, rescue the hostages?
336
00:13:04,623 --> 00:13:05,623
Affirmative.
337
00:13:05,624 --> 00:13:06,790
This is an active
shooter situation.
338
00:13:06,791 --> 00:13:08,258
You're cleared
for maximum engagement.
339
00:13:08,259 --> 00:13:09,960
"Maximum engagement"?
340
00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:12,695
What is this,
The ride?
341
00:13:12,696 --> 00:13:13,696
Diaz and Boyle,
perimeter security.
342
00:13:13,697 --> 00:13:14,697
Me and Boyle?
343
00:13:14,698 --> 00:13:16,165
Yeah. Just the two of you.
344
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:17,934
Peralta and Santiago,
you're the assault team.
345
00:13:17,935 --> 00:13:20,870
I'll be in the command center.
346
00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:22,238
Scully, I want you
to do nothing.
347
00:13:22,272 --> 00:13:24,106
Just stand next to me
and say, "yes, sarge."
348
00:13:24,141 --> 00:13:25,141
Okay, sarge.
349
00:13:25,142 --> 00:13:26,142
Come on, man.
350
00:13:26,143 --> 00:13:27,644
All right, focus up.
351
00:13:27,645 --> 00:13:29,978
We got 18 minutes, 41 seconds
to break this record.
352
00:13:29,979 --> 00:13:31,680
No screwing around.
353
00:13:31,681 --> 00:13:33,649
Whoa, you're really
not gonna do a character?
354
00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:36,451
What about Rex "Bookinghame"?
355
00:13:36,452 --> 00:13:37,686
Okay, never, ever
do an accent again.
356
00:13:37,687 --> 00:13:38,787
And I am playing
a character:
357
00:13:38,788 --> 00:13:40,923
A no-nonsense Detective
whose only goal
358
00:13:40,924 --> 00:13:42,457
is to set this course record.
359
00:13:42,458 --> 00:13:43,725
His name is Vic Kovac.
360
00:13:43,726 --> 00:13:44,725
He's an ex-navy seal
361
00:13:44,726 --> 00:13:46,260
who is double-crossed
and left for dead.
362
00:13:46,261 --> 00:13:47,327
I don't have time
for his back-story. Sarge.
363
00:13:47,328 --> 00:13:49,430
Okay, guys, and go!
364
00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:55,970
Captain.
365
00:13:56,004 --> 00:14:00,307
Captain.
366
00:14:02,577 --> 00:14:04,678
Captain.
Sorry.
367
00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:08,347
I'm just about
to enter sprinkle city.
368
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,917
They break the game into
these idiotic worlds
369
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,318
to give you some false
sense of progress.
370
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:15,822
So just stop playing.
371
00:14:15,823 --> 00:14:18,824
But I'm just about
to enter sprinkle city.
372
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:22,094
Gina, I've got a problem.
373
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,495
This game is starting
to affect my work.
374
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,698
Numbers three and four,
switch places.
375
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:31,369
Cupcake match.
376
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,438
I don't understand
why I can't stop.
377
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,407
I've never had a problem
controlling myself.
378
00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:38,309
Do you know I love milk?
379
00:14:38,343 --> 00:14:40,078
Mm, no.
380
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:41,545
Well, I do,
but it hurts my stomach.
381
00:14:41,546 --> 00:14:43,648
So I haven't had milk,
a beverage I love, for 19 years.
382
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,917
19 milkless years I've gone,
383
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:50,453
but for some reason
I can't quit Kwazy Cupcakes?
384
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,989
I know what to do.
385
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:53,156
Hitchcock.
386
00:14:53,157 --> 00:14:55,391
You ever play
Kwazy Cupcakes?
387
00:14:55,392 --> 00:14:57,193
I love that game!
388
00:14:57,194 --> 00:14:58,829
I just got up to sprinkle city.
389
00:14:58,863 --> 00:15:01,331
Oh, my gosh. Interesting.
390
00:15:01,332 --> 00:15:05,300
What level are you on,
Captain Holt?
391
00:15:05,301 --> 00:15:06,301
Sprinkle city.
392
00:15:06,302 --> 00:15:10,940
We have so much in common.
393
00:15:10,974 --> 00:15:14,644
Look at that, I'm cured.
394
00:15:22,251 --> 00:15:23,885
Turn around!
395
00:15:23,886 --> 00:15:25,453
Clear!
396
00:15:30,126 --> 00:15:31,126
Clear.
397
00:15:35,031 --> 00:15:36,664
Clear.
398
00:15:40,101 --> 00:15:41,769
Nice.
399
00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:44,038
Okay, only three
perps left.
400
00:15:44,039 --> 00:15:46,506
We might actually do this.
401
00:15:46,507 --> 00:15:48,676
I like Vic Kovac so much
more than Jake Peralta.
402
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:49,943
Oh, yeah, Kovac.
403
00:15:49,978 --> 00:15:52,412
Let's, uh, find the man
who stabbed my sister
404
00:15:52,413 --> 00:15:54,280
and get revenge for ruining
my life and everything.
405
00:15:54,314 --> 00:15:56,282
You were double-crossed
and left for dead.
406
00:15:56,316 --> 00:15:58,951
I can't believe
you remembered that.
407
00:15:58,986 --> 00:16:00,720
I also can't believe I didn't
go with the sister stabbing.
408
00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:02,021
Emotionally,
that is much richer.
409
00:16:02,022 --> 00:16:03,255
Peralta,
410
00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:05,457
we got intel there's
a hostage in room 409.
411
00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:06,458
Copy that.
412
00:16:08,828 --> 00:16:10,628
I love how it always
smells like fresh paint here.
413
00:16:10,629 --> 00:16:12,597
Reminds me of how often
I moved as a child.
414
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:15,934
No talking.
You'll give away our position.
415
00:16:15,935 --> 00:16:16,935
Look out!
416
00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:19,637
Come on!
417
00:16:19,672 --> 00:16:21,173
That was close.
418
00:16:21,207 --> 00:16:23,508
There's paint in your hair.
419
00:16:23,509 --> 00:16:25,275
Okay, here it goes.
420
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,276
I'm pissed at you.
421
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,945
Oh, boy.
422
00:16:27,979 --> 00:16:29,279
I thought I wanted to do this
on my deathbed, but apparently
423
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,682
I could die randomly
in some hallway somewhere, so...
424
00:16:31,717 --> 00:16:35,452
You didn't invite me to your
wedding and it hurt my feelings.
425
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,787
I thought we were friends.
426
00:16:36,822 --> 00:16:38,889
I'm sorry. It's just...
427
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:40,290
Vivian thought it might
be weird to invite you
428
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:43,059
because I used to be,
you know,
429
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,428
all-consumed by my passionate
love for you or whatever.
430
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,598
It's okay.
I understand.
431
00:16:48,599 --> 00:16:49,999
Hey, thanks for
shooting that guy.
432
00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:52,135
Hey, my pleasure.
433
00:16:52,169 --> 00:16:54,003
Your pleasure?
434
00:16:54,038 --> 00:16:55,872
This was a human being
you just killed.
435
00:16:55,873 --> 00:16:59,341
Bill "perp" had a family.
436
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:00,609
Oh! Whoa!
437
00:17:00,610 --> 00:17:02,177
Hostages are in there.
438
00:17:02,212 --> 00:17:03,478
Intel says there's a couple
439
00:17:03,479 --> 00:17:04,579
of heavily-armed perps
with them.
440
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:06,514
You want to wait for backup?
441
00:17:06,515 --> 00:17:09,517
No time. We only have
a minute 12 to beat the record.
442
00:17:09,518 --> 00:17:10,953
I'm going in.
443
00:17:10,987 --> 00:17:13,621
Don't worry. I have a plan
on how to beat them.
444
00:17:13,622 --> 00:17:14,622
Give up.
445
00:17:14,623 --> 00:17:15,790
What?
446
00:17:15,824 --> 00:17:18,626
Trust me. Or don't.
I'm doing it anyway.
447
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:20,762
NYPD! Don't shoot!
448
00:17:20,796 --> 00:17:22,496
I'm here to surrender.
449
00:17:22,530 --> 00:17:25,032
Let the hostages go
and take me instead.
450
00:17:25,033 --> 00:17:26,067
Not happening.
451
00:17:26,068 --> 00:17:27,334
Drop the weapons!
452
00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:29,636
All right, all right,
my fingers are off the triggers.
453
00:17:29,637 --> 00:17:31,671
I'm just gonna slowly
put them down in front of me.
454
00:17:31,705 --> 00:17:32,705
Slowly put 'em...
455
00:17:33,741 --> 00:17:35,175
Oh! Damn it!
456
00:17:35,209 --> 00:17:36,977
Terry, time!
457
00:17:37,011 --> 00:17:39,780
18 minutes, 28 seconds.
You broke the record!
458
00:17:39,814 --> 00:17:41,314
Yes! Nice!
459
00:17:41,348 --> 00:17:42,715
Well done.
460
00:17:42,716 --> 00:17:44,151
All in a day's work,
elderly lady.
461
00:17:44,185 --> 00:17:47,619
All in a day's work.
462
00:17:47,654 --> 00:17:49,321
Ah, there he is!
463
00:17:49,355 --> 00:17:50,722
Yeah!
464
00:17:50,757 --> 00:17:53,025
The record is ours.
465
00:17:53,026 --> 00:17:54,459
That's so amazing, Jake.
466
00:17:54,494 --> 00:17:57,429
Check it out.
I got us prizes.
467
00:17:57,463 --> 00:17:59,531
Sweet. "Victim."
468
00:17:59,532 --> 00:18:00,599
I can't believe
your final kill
469
00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:01,666
came with Scully's move.
470
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,367
You went upsy-downsies?
471
00:18:03,368 --> 00:18:05,270
That's what I call it, because
you hold the gun upside-down.
472
00:18:05,304 --> 00:18:07,105
Yes, Scully,
I went upsy-downsies.
473
00:18:07,106 --> 00:18:09,073
And none of you will ever
speak of it again.
474
00:18:09,108 --> 00:18:10,975
But I want to speak of it.
You looked really dumb.
475
00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:13,344
Man, I feel so good.
476
00:18:13,345 --> 00:18:14,712
Almost makes me
want to start
477
00:18:14,713 --> 00:18:16,147
taking things seriously
all the time,
478
00:18:16,148 --> 00:18:18,515
but them I'm like,
"boobs, fart, boobs, whatever."
479
00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:20,583
Alright, let's go.
Drinks are on me.
480
00:18:20,618 --> 00:18:24,087
Nice!
Here we go, nine-nine!
481
00:18:24,122 --> 00:18:26,089
Actually, Teddy
asked me to get dinner,
482
00:18:26,090 --> 00:18:27,970
so maybe I can meet up
with you guys afterwards?
483
00:18:27,992 --> 00:18:30,794
Oh. Neat. Yeah.
Of course.
484
00:18:30,829 --> 00:18:31,829
Cool.
485
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:33,963
Boobs. Fart.
Boobs, whatever.
486
00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:39,239
So I just talked to Vivian.
487
00:18:39,273 --> 00:18:40,906
I told her I really want you
to come to the wedding,
488
00:18:40,907 --> 00:18:41,906
and she said okay.
489
00:18:41,908 --> 00:18:43,643
Thanks. I'm excited to go.
490
00:18:43,677 --> 00:18:46,979
Also, "STD" stands for
"sexually transmitted disease."
491
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:48,314
That is correct.
492
00:18:48,315 --> 00:18:50,383
It is, however, very expensive
to reprint those cards,
493
00:18:50,384 --> 00:18:52,185
so we're leaning into it.
494
00:18:52,186 --> 00:18:55,320
Rosie Diaz,
will you accept my STD?
495
00:18:55,321 --> 00:18:57,556
I look forward
to having it forever.
496
00:18:57,557 --> 00:18:59,191
Mm.
497
00:18:59,192 --> 00:19:00,959
Well, congratulations,
everyone, on a perfect run.
498
00:19:00,993 --> 00:19:03,995
And a new course record.
499
00:19:05,532 --> 00:19:07,465
And congratulations to you,
Captain,
500
00:19:07,466 --> 00:19:09,500
on beating your
Kwazy Cupcakes addiction!
501
00:19:09,535 --> 00:19:10,801
Captain Holt!
502
00:19:10,835 --> 00:19:13,971
Okay, I had to tell them.
It's my nature.
503
00:19:14,005 --> 00:19:16,407
You helped me today,
so I'll give you
504
00:19:16,408 --> 00:19:17,841
a pass on
embarrassing me publicly.
505
00:19:17,876 --> 00:19:19,777
Thank you.
506
00:19:19,811 --> 00:19:21,912
I feel that the reason I was
so vulnerable to this game
507
00:19:21,913 --> 00:19:24,147
was because technology
has evolved to the...
508
00:19:24,182 --> 00:19:25,415
Yeah, I don't know.
509
00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:28,017
I think it's just bright
and stupid and fun.
510
00:19:28,052 --> 00:19:29,219
So fun.
511
00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:31,854
So fun.
So fun.
512
00:19:34,225 --> 00:19:37,294
What's going on,
Vic Kovac?
513
00:19:37,295 --> 00:19:39,195
What do you think
Amy sees in Teddy?
514
00:19:39,229 --> 00:19:41,530
So you do like her.
I'm just curious.
515
00:19:41,565 --> 00:19:43,365
I mean, I guess
he's okay-looking.
516
00:19:43,366 --> 00:19:44,633
And he's a good cop.
517
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:45,601
They're both kind of dorky
about police stuff.
518
00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:46,968
Also, he set
the course record,
519
00:19:46,969 --> 00:19:49,438
but that's nothing. I broke it,
like, 20 minutes later.
520
00:19:49,472 --> 00:19:52,308
You want to know why she went
out with him and not you?
521
00:19:52,342 --> 00:19:53,442
Yeah.
522
00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:57,144
Because he actually
asked her out.
523
00:19:58,814 --> 00:20:00,548
Hey, Vivian.
524
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,450
Rosa.
525
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,752
I'm here to celebrate
with the team.
526
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,222
Look, I'm not really
good at this stuff, but...
527
00:20:07,223 --> 00:20:09,257
Thank you for inviting me
to your wedding.
528
00:20:09,258 --> 00:20:10,592
I'm really happy I could come,
529
00:20:10,593 --> 00:20:12,226
and I promise it won't
be weird at all.
530
00:20:12,227 --> 00:20:13,594
Yeah, I'm really happy
you could come too.
531
00:20:13,595 --> 00:20:14,561
'Cause I didn't think
it was gonna happen.
532
00:20:14,596 --> 00:20:16,530
What do you mean?
533
00:20:16,564 --> 00:20:17,564
Well, Chuck told me you were
534
00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:18,898
gonna be out of town
that weekend,
535
00:20:18,899 --> 00:20:21,067
and then, you know, he just told
me that your plans changed,
536
00:20:21,068 --> 00:20:23,002
so, uh... so yeah,
so that's great news.
537
00:20:23,003 --> 00:20:24,238
Why would it be weird?
538
00:20:24,272 --> 00:20:27,806
Um, it'd be weird
'cause I'm weird.
539
00:20:27,841 --> 00:20:28,841
Oh.
540
00:20:28,842 --> 00:20:32,411
Whooo...
541
00:20:32,412 --> 00:20:33,646
I'm leaving.
542
00:20:36,015 --> 00:20:37,750
Night, everyone.
543
00:20:37,784 --> 00:20:40,720
Hey, Amy.
Check it out.
544
00:20:40,754 --> 00:20:42,121
No way, you won coolest kill?
545
00:20:42,155 --> 00:20:43,388
Not even close.
546
00:20:43,389 --> 00:20:44,756
It turns out anyone
can just buy themselves
547
00:20:44,757 --> 00:20:45,995
a children's karate trophy.
548
00:20:46,024 --> 00:20:47,705
Smart.
Yeah.
549
00:20:47,727 --> 00:20:50,666
Hey, before you go,
I wanted to ask you something.
550
00:20:50,696 --> 00:20:52,796
Of course.
551
00:20:52,830 --> 00:20:54,331
I was just wondering...
552
00:20:54,332 --> 00:20:55,366
Are you wearing lipstick?
553
00:20:55,367 --> 00:20:57,801
Yeah, I'm going out
with Teddy again.
554
00:20:57,802 --> 00:20:59,270
Does it look weird?
555
00:20:59,271 --> 00:21:01,104
I called my 13-year-old niece
for makeup tips,
556
00:21:01,105 --> 00:21:02,773
but I don't know
if I trust her.
557
00:21:02,774 --> 00:21:04,241
She is so sexual.
558
00:21:04,276 --> 00:21:05,842
You look great.
559
00:21:05,843 --> 00:21:08,010
Thank you.
560
00:21:08,011 --> 00:21:09,612
So what's up?
561
00:21:09,647 --> 00:21:12,415
Oh. It's not important.
562
00:21:12,449 --> 00:21:13,849
I just had a question
about a work thing.
563
00:21:13,850 --> 00:21:15,318
But have a great date,
and we'll talk tomorrow.
564
00:21:15,319 --> 00:21:17,019
Okay.
565
00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:20,690
Bye.
Bye.
566
00:21:22,326 --> 00:21:25,960
I'll help you with
your work stuff, Jakey.
567
00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:27,244
Perfect.
568
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:33,244
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.Com/