1 00:00:01,446 --> 00:00:03,079 [Knocks] Hey, cap'n, got a second? 2 00:00:03,113 --> 00:00:05,848 - It's "Captain." - What did I say? 3 00:00:05,849 --> 00:00:08,483 "Cap'n," like cap'n crunch. 4 00:00:08,517 --> 00:00:09,818 All right, but to be fair, 5 00:00:09,819 --> 00:00:11,352 cap'n crunch was a war hero 6 00:00:11,353 --> 00:00:12,954 and the primary male role model 7 00:00:12,955 --> 00:00:15,890 in my house, growing up, so... 8 00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:18,259 Anyways, cap-tain, you know 9 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:19,927 that jewelry store robbery down by grand army Plaza? 10 00:00:19,961 --> 00:00:22,596 - Mm-hmm. - I know who did it... Dustin Whitman. 11 00:00:22,597 --> 00:00:24,265 I put him in Rikers two years ago. 12 00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:25,566 He just got out, and the crime scene 13 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,368 matches his M.O. perfectly. 14 00:00:27,369 --> 00:00:29,303 [Siren wails] (Jake) Okay, what do we got? 15 00:00:29,338 --> 00:00:32,707 Well, security cam shows a male suspect, 5'9"... 16 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,309 Wearing a black ski mask. 17 00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:35,877 He bypassed the McConnell alarm 18 00:00:35,878 --> 00:00:37,445 by using the magnetic kill switch. 19 00:00:37,446 --> 00:00:39,748 And he only stole diamonds, nothing over two carats. 20 00:00:39,782 --> 00:00:41,349 Yeah, exactly. How'd you know? 21 00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:44,385 I'm a Detective. It's what I do. 22 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,455 I'm just kidding. I need a lot more information. 23 00:00:47,456 --> 00:00:49,123 But that would've been a great exit line, right? 24 00:00:49,157 --> 00:00:50,424 The crime techs aren't done yet, 25 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:51,892 but I'm 100% sure it's Whitman. 26 00:00:51,893 --> 00:00:53,327 Well, let's see what kind of physical evidence 27 00:00:53,328 --> 00:00:55,395 they turn up, and then we can talk arrest. 28 00:00:55,396 --> 00:00:58,232 Actually, hilarious story. 29 00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:01,435 (Jake) So that is Dustin Whitman. 30 00:01:01,469 --> 00:01:04,604 You already arrested him? With insufficient evidence? 31 00:01:06,039 --> 00:01:08,440 By law, we have 48 hours to find that evidence, 32 00:01:08,441 --> 00:01:10,108 or we have to let him go. 33 00:01:10,142 --> 00:01:11,576 You just started the clock. 34 00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:17,680 What's up with this emergency meeting? 35 00:01:17,681 --> 00:01:20,581 Whoa, Detective Santiago. 36 00:01:20,615 --> 00:01:22,415 Big date tonight. How do I look? 37 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,317 Well, I think you look... 38 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,986 [Donkey braying] 39 00:01:25,987 --> 00:01:28,254 Sorry, that was supposed to be a catcall. 40 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,789 I don't know how this works. 41 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,858 Hey, is this why you were getting makeup tips 42 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,727 from the prostitute in the holding cell? 43 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,929 I just wanted to know how she got such smoky eyes. 44 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,665 Turns out it was an std rash. 45 00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:39,700 Detective Peralta has made a collar 46 00:01:39,701 --> 00:01:41,068 in the jewelry store heist. 47 00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,703 - Way to go, jakey. - Ah, that's okay. 48 00:01:42,704 --> 00:01:44,104 No. He didn't get sufficient evidence 49 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,405 to make it stick, so we have 50 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,641 the next 48 hours to fix his mistake. 51 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,209 [All groaning] Damn it, Jake. 52 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:52,012 What evidence did you have when you arrested this guy? 53 00:01:52,013 --> 00:01:53,580 Some pretty ironclad stuff. 54 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:56,216 Dustin, it's been a while. 55 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,152 Mind if I ask you a few questions? 56 00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:01,522 Well, well, well, if it isn't joke Peralta. 57 00:02:01,523 --> 00:02:03,582 - [Laughs] - That's it, you're under arrest. 58 00:02:03,592 --> 00:02:04,858 Case closed? 59 00:02:04,893 --> 00:02:07,060 If we don't find something conclusive, 60 00:02:07,095 --> 00:02:08,261 it jeopardizes the case 61 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,963 and opens the department up to a lawsuit. 62 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,298 So cancel your plans. 63 00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:12,600 We're here until this is over. 64 00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:14,935 - Damn it, Peralta. - Ow! 65 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,270 I know everyone's mad at Peralta 66 00:02:16,271 --> 00:02:19,606 for ruining their weekend. 67 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:20,640 But? 68 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,808 That was it. 69 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:22,942 I was just demonstrating 70 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,846 for Detective Peralta what a fact is. 71 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,611 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 72 00:02:29,612 --> 00:02:35,611 ♪ 73 00:02:46,829 --> 00:02:48,095 Terry, you just pulled two doubles. 74 00:02:48,096 --> 00:02:49,697 You must be tired. 75 00:02:49,698 --> 00:02:51,132 I'll stay for this Whitman debacle. 76 00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,767 - You go home. - I'm not tired. 77 00:02:52,768 --> 00:02:54,668 Why would you think I was tired? 78 00:02:54,669 --> 00:02:58,139 [Grunting] 79 00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:01,208 [Snoring] 80 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:05,393 [Snoring] 81 00:03:05,414 --> 00:03:06,781 I ended up doing 25 minutes 82 00:03:06,782 --> 00:03:10,484 of sleep chin-ups on muscle memory alone. 83 00:03:10,519 --> 00:03:11,685 Tired Terry still gets after it, 84 00:03:11,686 --> 00:03:13,487 that's all I'm saying. 85 00:03:13,521 --> 00:03:14,721 (Rosa) Hey, Gina, can you 86 00:03:14,722 --> 00:03:16,355 order food for us at the flatbush diner? 87 00:03:16,356 --> 00:03:17,757 They make the best pies in New York City. 88 00:03:17,791 --> 00:03:19,992 Oopsie, you said something super dumb. 89 00:03:19,993 --> 00:03:22,662 The best pie in the city's at crust. 90 00:03:22,696 --> 00:03:23,929 Wrong. Ignorant and wrong. 91 00:03:23,930 --> 00:03:26,198 Uh, you think you can just bully people, 92 00:03:26,199 --> 00:03:28,768 but you can't. It's not okay. 93 00:03:28,769 --> 00:03:31,237 I'm the bully around here, ask anyone. 94 00:03:31,271 --> 00:03:34,374 Boyle, you're always blogging on that foodie website. 95 00:03:34,408 --> 00:03:35,742 Which pie's better? 96 00:03:35,743 --> 00:03:37,444 Yeah, whose do you like better, mine or Rosa's? 97 00:03:37,445 --> 00:03:39,880 Oh, uh, you know, I-I haven't 98 00:03:39,881 --> 00:03:42,716 been to either place yet. 99 00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,050 Why is your eye twitching? 100 00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:46,820 [Scoffs] Wouldn't you like to know? 101 00:03:46,821 --> 00:03:49,022 Could I see you for a second in the evidence lockup? 102 00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:51,191 Charles, I know what's going on. 103 00:03:51,225 --> 00:03:52,659 You've tried both pies. 104 00:03:52,693 --> 00:03:54,461 You know mine is better. 105 00:03:54,462 --> 00:03:56,296 But you're scared to tell Rosa, 106 00:03:56,297 --> 00:03:57,731 'cause you're into her. 107 00:03:57,766 --> 00:03:59,066 What? 108 00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:02,904 [Laughs nervously] That is not true, okay? 109 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,873 I-I-I don't even like food. 110 00:04:04,907 --> 00:04:06,942 - What? - Who's Rosa? 111 00:04:06,976 --> 00:04:08,911 Y-you're the scared one. 112 00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:11,580 [Door shuts] 113 00:04:11,615 --> 00:04:13,182 Planning your strategy? 114 00:04:13,216 --> 00:04:16,218 No, I'm just making funny faces at him. 115 00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:18,387 This mirrored glass is awesome. 116 00:04:18,421 --> 00:04:20,723 It straight-up works. 117 00:04:20,757 --> 00:04:22,558 An effective use of your limited time. 118 00:04:22,592 --> 00:04:25,060 It is, actually. That's how I got him last time. 119 00:04:25,061 --> 00:04:27,230 Let him stew for a little bit, got in his head, 120 00:04:27,231 --> 00:04:28,431 and he confessed. 121 00:04:28,465 --> 00:04:31,201 - You better be right. - I am. 122 00:04:31,202 --> 00:04:33,436 Hey, make some funny faces while I'm in there. 123 00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:36,139 I wanna see if I can tell. 124 00:04:38,775 --> 00:04:40,410 I didn't do anything, joke. 125 00:04:40,444 --> 00:04:42,445 [Mouthing] 126 00:04:43,681 --> 00:04:45,382 That's funny. 127 00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:47,617 You said the exact same thing last time. 128 00:04:47,652 --> 00:04:49,553 And how'd that work out for you? 129 00:04:49,588 --> 00:04:51,155 Let's take a look. 130 00:04:51,189 --> 00:04:54,525 Okay. Here's you at your trial. 131 00:04:54,526 --> 00:04:56,160 You in prison. 132 00:04:56,161 --> 00:04:58,095 Me meeting Regis philbin. 133 00:04:58,096 --> 00:04:59,963 That was fun. 134 00:04:59,998 --> 00:05:01,465 You still in prison. 135 00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:04,502 Me at splash mountain, just pepper these in here. 136 00:05:04,503 --> 00:05:06,070 You in prison, you in prison, 137 00:05:06,071 --> 00:05:07,238 you in prison, you get it. 138 00:05:07,272 --> 00:05:09,273 - You got the wrong guy. - All right. 139 00:05:09,307 --> 00:05:11,175 Not ready to confess? 140 00:05:11,176 --> 00:05:13,443 Fine by me. 141 00:05:13,444 --> 00:05:16,280 I got all the time in the world. 142 00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:19,183 No, you actually have 48 hours. 143 00:05:19,184 --> 00:05:21,419 I know the law. 144 00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:23,922 Nuh-uh. 145 00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:27,392 So looks like we're gonna be here for a while. 146 00:05:27,426 --> 00:05:30,128 Should someone do a coffee run? 147 00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,999 You know what? Coffee's on me. 148 00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:35,500 Oh, but no froofy frappuccinos or anything, 149 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,302 I've only got, like, 10 bucks. 150 00:05:37,303 --> 00:05:38,636 Okay. 151 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:44,209 Rise and shine, detectives, rise and shine. 152 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,211 Peralta, I want you to bring everyone up to speed. 153 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:48,279 You slept in your office, and you look 154 00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,016 exactly the same. How? 155 00:05:50,048 --> 00:05:51,916 What are you talking about? My hair is a mess. 156 00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:54,452 Oh, yeah. Briefing room, five minutes. 157 00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:56,754 How long were we asleep? 158 00:05:56,755 --> 00:05:59,691 Just long enough for me to squeeze in quick workout. 159 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:02,060 So, like, three hours. 160 00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,495 - Morning. - (Jake) Ugh. 161 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,130 I can't believe you live nearby 162 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:06,732 and you won't let anyone crash at your place. 163 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:09,001 You people already know too much about me. 164 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,702 I know exactly three facts about you, 165 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,037 and one of them is that you won't 166 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,772 let any of us crash at your place. 167 00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:14,973 Is that a nightgown? 168 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,042 (Terry) That's mine. 169 00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:18,276 It's a t-shirt from my fat phase. 170 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,878 "If at first you don't secede, 171 00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:22,613 try try again." 172 00:06:22,614 --> 00:06:25,116 (Terry) When you're that big, you buy anything that fits. 173 00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:27,719 A lot of fat guy clothes have racist overtones. 174 00:06:27,753 --> 00:06:29,721 (Jake) Okay, a couple of quick announcements. 175 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,191 First, I met our night janitor Ronald. 176 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,528 If any of you are missing hand sanitizer, he drank it. 177 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,064 Second, our warrants finally went through. 178 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,000 We gotta place Whitman at the scene and prove 179 00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:42,302 that he either possessed or sold those diamonds. 180 00:06:42,303 --> 00:06:43,536 I know you're all tired, 181 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,938 but don't forget why we're here. 182 00:06:44,939 --> 00:06:46,673 Because we're dedicated detectives. 183 00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,274 - Because Peralta jumped the gun. - Yep. 184 00:06:48,309 --> 00:06:50,877 Get to work. 185 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,612 So we both had good answers. 186 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,814 This isn't a joke. You're ruining our weekend. 187 00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:57,117 Okay, I'm sorry you had to cancel dinner with your dad. 188 00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:58,919 Date. I had a date. 189 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,088 Hey, if Jake says the guy did it, 190 00:07:01,089 --> 00:07:02,923 that usually means the guy did it. 191 00:07:02,957 --> 00:07:04,558 Thank you. Everyone listen to Rosa. 192 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,592 No, I'm still furious at you. 193 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:06,793 Okay, no one listen to Rosa. 194 00:07:06,828 --> 00:07:08,762 She's clearly an accomplice to this crime. 195 00:07:08,763 --> 00:07:10,731 I'm gonna go take another crack at Whitman. 196 00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:12,032 You've been in there, like, five times. 197 00:07:12,033 --> 00:07:13,100 What are you gonna do? 198 00:07:13,101 --> 00:07:14,134 Annoy him into talking? 199 00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:15,635 Ha, ha. 200 00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:17,270 Two, three, four. 201 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:20,807 [Strumming guitar out of tune] 202 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,275 Aah! 203 00:07:22,310 --> 00:07:26,980 [Shrieking] 204 00:07:27,015 --> 00:07:28,716 Didn't work. 205 00:07:28,717 --> 00:07:30,384 Thank you. Did not work. 206 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,819 Hey, Captain. 207 00:07:34,853 --> 00:07:36,186 Will you please let everyone else go? 208 00:07:36,187 --> 00:07:37,721 I feel bad that I ruined their weekend, 209 00:07:37,722 --> 00:07:39,290 and I can tell they're pissed at me. 210 00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:41,625 I mean, Charles hasn't tried to high-five me all morning. 211 00:07:41,659 --> 00:07:43,060 Yes, I've taken the brunt of that. 212 00:07:43,061 --> 00:07:45,729 Kitchen buds. 213 00:07:45,730 --> 00:07:47,364 Are you sure Whitman did it? 214 00:07:47,399 --> 00:07:48,799 Yes, I'm positive. 215 00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:50,201 Then the whole team stays. 216 00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:52,403 We have a better shot with everyone on it. 217 00:07:52,404 --> 00:07:54,238 Fine, will you at least tell Hitchcock to go home? 218 00:07:54,273 --> 00:07:56,540 His mouth smells like rotten trout milk. 219 00:07:56,575 --> 00:07:57,708 Is there such a thing? 220 00:07:57,742 --> 00:07:59,042 I'm just telling you what it smells like. 221 00:07:59,077 --> 00:08:00,511 Get out. 222 00:08:00,545 --> 00:08:03,313 - Do you have the bank records? - Mm-hmm. 223 00:08:03,314 --> 00:08:05,549 Good thing I didn't reschedule my date for tonight. 224 00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,350 We're never leaving here. 225 00:08:07,385 --> 00:08:08,885 Well, maybe that's a good thing, you know? 226 00:08:08,886 --> 00:08:10,820 Saved you from another lame Internet date 227 00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:15,792 with some lame guy named dirk or mar... garine. 228 00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,494 He's not lame, okay? 229 00:08:17,495 --> 00:08:18,895 He works with a friend of mine. 230 00:08:18,896 --> 00:08:20,263 He has a human name. 231 00:08:20,264 --> 00:08:21,698 And I'm not telling you what it is, 232 00:08:21,699 --> 00:08:23,367 because you'll look him up and make fun of him. 233 00:08:23,368 --> 00:08:25,635 I can't believe you think so little of me 234 00:08:25,636 --> 00:08:27,837 that you would just automatically assume... 235 00:08:27,838 --> 00:08:29,372 Is it Luke Mueller? 236 00:08:29,373 --> 00:08:30,807 How did you do that? 237 00:08:30,808 --> 00:08:32,809 Well, you only have one friend... Kylie. 238 00:08:32,810 --> 00:08:34,277 And she has seven male coworkers. 239 00:08:34,311 --> 00:08:36,245 Goatee, goatee, jaunty fedora, 240 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,214 profile pic is a sunset, 241 00:08:38,215 --> 00:08:40,650 tasmanian devil tattoo, goatee. 242 00:08:40,651 --> 00:08:43,586 Leaving Luke as the only viable option. 243 00:08:43,621 --> 00:08:44,787 Well, he's nice, 244 00:08:44,788 --> 00:08:47,323 and he uses proper punctuation in texts. 245 00:08:47,358 --> 00:08:49,092 - Dreamboat. - And I wanted to go out with him. 246 00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:50,760 All right. You know what? Reschedule for tonight. 247 00:08:50,761 --> 00:08:52,495 I promise I will get us out of here in time. 248 00:08:52,529 --> 00:08:54,230 Fine. I'm holding you to that. 249 00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:55,498 Where's he taking you? 250 00:08:55,532 --> 00:08:57,266 Terrific, let's get everyone involved. 251 00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:59,134 Dinner and a movie. 252 00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:00,669 [Farting noise] 253 00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,938 Dinner and a movie is the perfect first date. 254 00:09:02,939 --> 00:09:04,840 I think the perfect first date doesn't feel like 255 00:09:04,841 --> 00:09:06,975 a first date at all, because you've known each other 256 00:09:06,976 --> 00:09:09,377 for a few years, maybe even work together. 257 00:09:09,411 --> 00:09:11,412 And one night you're laughing, 258 00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:13,414 and then all of a sudden, it's just like blammo! 259 00:09:13,415 --> 00:09:15,216 Kissing. 260 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:18,752 For me: Cheap dinner, watch basketball, bone down. 261 00:09:18,787 --> 00:09:22,189 So pretty much the same as what I said. 262 00:09:23,424 --> 00:09:25,492 None of the partials match Whitman. 263 00:09:25,493 --> 00:09:27,194 If he did it, he didn't leave any prints. 264 00:09:27,228 --> 00:09:29,096 Maybe he doesn't have any. 265 00:09:29,097 --> 00:09:30,430 Interesting fact about me... 266 00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:32,466 I once burnt my fingerprints off on a wok. 267 00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:35,135 Hi, hello. 268 00:09:35,169 --> 00:09:36,436 What are you doing? 269 00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:37,804 Holt said you didn't have to come in here. 270 00:09:37,805 --> 00:09:39,406 You don't come in on days you're supposed to work. 271 00:09:39,407 --> 00:09:42,309 Because I'm so nice, I brought two pies. 272 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:44,144 One is from crust. 273 00:09:44,145 --> 00:09:47,648 And one's also from flatbush diner. 274 00:09:47,649 --> 00:09:49,883 Hey, you know what might be fun? 275 00:09:49,918 --> 00:09:52,319 Charles could try them and tell us which one is better. 276 00:09:52,354 --> 00:09:53,587 How fun is that? 277 00:09:53,588 --> 00:09:55,889 - So fun. - Yay! 278 00:09:55,890 --> 00:09:58,092 Yum, yum, yum. Yummy. 279 00:09:58,126 --> 00:10:00,094 You got a second, Captain? 280 00:10:00,095 --> 00:10:04,299 I've got these overtime forms for you to s... 281 00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:07,736 Are you stifling a yawn? 282 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,805 - No, sir. - Go home, sergeant. 283 00:10:09,806 --> 00:10:11,006 I'm fine. 284 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,609 And I filled this out. I just need you to... 285 00:10:20,282 --> 00:10:21,649 Permission to yawn, sir. 286 00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:24,318 Go home. 287 00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:31,425 Please, I'm begging you. 288 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:34,294 - [Sniffs] Oh, fair enough. - Yeah. 289 00:10:34,295 --> 00:10:36,363 [Chuckckle] That's for women. 290 00:10:38,366 --> 00:10:40,901 - These your glasses? - Mm-hmm. 291 00:10:40,936 --> 00:10:41,935 They're gigantic. 292 00:10:41,936 --> 00:10:43,704 My contacts dried out, thanks to you. 293 00:10:43,705 --> 00:10:46,306 And they're cool. No, they're not. 294 00:10:46,307 --> 00:10:48,609 Wow, you are blind blind. 295 00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:50,678 - Yeah. - You're a blind cop. 296 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:52,246 How has there not been a made-for-TV movie 297 00:10:52,247 --> 00:10:54,115 about your struggles? Give those back. 298 00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:56,717 Yeah, okay. 299 00:10:56,718 --> 00:10:58,853 Wait a minute. 300 00:10:58,887 --> 00:11:00,354 I did it. 301 00:11:00,389 --> 00:11:01,956 I got Whitman, dead to rights. 302 00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:04,092 I can still make my date? As I promised. 303 00:11:04,093 --> 00:11:05,593 Go get changed. 304 00:11:05,594 --> 00:11:06,861 And by that, of course I mean 305 00:11:06,862 --> 00:11:08,129 throw your glasses in the garbage, 306 00:11:08,130 --> 00:11:09,597 then get laser surgery, 307 00:11:09,632 --> 00:11:12,067 then recuperate... And she left the room. 308 00:11:14,303 --> 00:11:16,271 It's all right. 6 out of 12. 309 00:11:16,305 --> 00:11:17,505 Out of 12? Why? 310 00:11:17,506 --> 00:11:19,540 For the 12 components of food satisfaction: 311 00:11:19,541 --> 00:11:23,178 Salty, sweet, sour, bitter, umami, odor, sound... 312 00:11:23,179 --> 00:11:25,013 Sound? Come on, Charles. 313 00:11:25,014 --> 00:11:27,715 Try her nasty pie. 314 00:11:31,453 --> 00:11:33,120 Oh, wow. 315 00:11:33,121 --> 00:11:34,721 That's the best pie I ever had. 316 00:11:34,755 --> 00:11:36,823 [Laughs] No, no. 317 00:11:36,824 --> 00:11:38,224 - No, no, no. - What's this? 318 00:11:38,259 --> 00:11:40,727 We were running calls to pawn shops 319 00:11:40,728 --> 00:11:42,029 and then waiting for them to call back. 320 00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:43,964 I didn't ask what you were doing. 321 00:11:43,965 --> 00:11:45,899 I asked what you are doing. 322 00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:48,435 Pie taste test, it's over. I won. 323 00:11:48,436 --> 00:11:49,769 That's unacceptable. 324 00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:52,538 If you wanna know which restaurant has better pies, 325 00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:56,175 you can't just have one guy try one pie from each place. 326 00:11:56,176 --> 00:11:58,377 Everybody needs to try 327 00:11:58,378 --> 00:12:01,514 all the pies from both places. 328 00:12:01,548 --> 00:12:05,184 We gonna be here awhile. 329 00:12:05,185 --> 00:12:06,953 Debit card statement. 330 00:12:06,954 --> 00:12:08,121 You were at a parking meter 331 00:12:08,122 --> 00:12:09,355 two blocks from the jewelry store 332 00:12:09,356 --> 00:12:11,324 an hour before the robbery. 333 00:12:11,325 --> 00:12:15,595 Oh, no, you found out... About my wife. 334 00:12:15,596 --> 00:12:17,997 We both have cards, because we share a joint account, 335 00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:19,332 because we love each other. 336 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,233 You're incapable of love, and I'll prove it! 337 00:12:21,234 --> 00:12:22,434 Oh, I'm very tired. 338 00:12:22,435 --> 00:12:24,270 I want my lawyer, now. 339 00:12:24,304 --> 00:12:26,873 Ugh! 340 00:12:26,908 --> 00:12:28,008 You have changed. 341 00:12:28,009 --> 00:12:29,843 You used to go straight to prison! 342 00:12:29,877 --> 00:12:31,711 Did Whitman talk? 343 00:12:31,745 --> 00:12:33,780 Oh, he talked all right. 344 00:12:33,781 --> 00:12:35,115 He asked for his lawyer. 345 00:12:35,149 --> 00:12:38,885 By using words, which is technically talking. 346 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,320 We can't ask him any more questions 347 00:12:40,321 --> 00:12:41,455 till we find his lawyer, 348 00:12:41,489 --> 00:12:42,956 and we can't find his lawyer anywhere. 349 00:12:42,957 --> 00:12:44,725 I'm sorry. 350 00:12:44,726 --> 00:12:46,093 Aah, come on. 351 00:12:46,094 --> 00:12:47,794 Why is there pie here? 352 00:12:47,795 --> 00:12:50,063 (Jake) That's not good. 353 00:12:50,097 --> 00:12:51,298 I think the world of you, 354 00:12:51,332 --> 00:12:52,600 as a colleague and friend. 355 00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:53,901 - Shut up, Peralta. - (Jake) Yep. 356 00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:58,027 - Yes! - Another one for crust. 357 00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,230 It's not looking good for flatbush diner. 358 00:13:00,231 --> 00:13:01,965 Ah, come on! 359 00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:03,033 You went home and showered? 360 00:13:03,034 --> 00:13:04,434 That's so unfair. 361 00:13:04,468 --> 00:13:06,836 I'm just glad I keep a toothbrush here. Oh, cool. 362 00:13:06,871 --> 00:13:08,138 Hey, can I borrow it? 363 00:13:08,172 --> 00:13:10,040 Uh, why do you wanna borrow the toothbrush? 364 00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:11,041 What possible answer could he give 365 00:13:11,042 --> 00:13:12,275 that would make you say yes? 366 00:13:12,276 --> 00:13:13,343 I wanna brush my teeth. 367 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:14,978 Jake, it's been in my mouth. 368 00:13:15,012 --> 00:13:16,346 That's the grossest thing I've ever heard. 369 00:13:16,347 --> 00:13:17,414 That's the grossest thing you've ever heard? 370 00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:18,682 You caught a guy on the subway 371 00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:20,417 with a bag of human ears. 372 00:13:20,452 --> 00:13:21,652 Your thing's grosser. 373 00:13:21,686 --> 00:13:22,853 Bring out the meringues. 374 00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:25,556 I brought a few more. That's so many. 375 00:13:27,492 --> 00:13:28,532 You wanted something, sir? 376 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,428 Look, it's impossible to make you leave. 377 00:13:30,429 --> 00:13:33,364 But you do have to sleep, and that's an order. 378 00:13:33,365 --> 00:13:36,001 Sir, this is not necessary. 379 00:13:36,035 --> 00:13:39,104 Also, can't sleep without my whale songs. 380 00:13:39,105 --> 00:13:40,672 Terry, I've seen this before. 381 00:13:40,706 --> 00:13:43,441 Problems at home, so you stay late at the job, 382 00:13:43,442 --> 00:13:44,976 but that only makes it worse. 383 00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:47,145 Everything's great with my wife. 384 00:13:47,146 --> 00:13:49,014 It's just, my brother-in-law's in town, 385 00:13:49,015 --> 00:13:51,850 and we do not get along. 386 00:13:51,851 --> 00:13:54,419 - He thinks I'm a weakling. - You? 387 00:13:56,055 --> 00:13:57,823 Let me get that for you. 388 00:13:57,824 --> 00:14:00,258 I can do it. 389 00:14:00,259 --> 00:14:04,128 Tiny Terry loves his pickles. 390 00:14:04,129 --> 00:14:06,030 He makes me feel so small. 391 00:14:06,065 --> 00:14:07,732 Who cares what he thinks? 392 00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:10,535 You're a police sergeant. You're a grown man. 393 00:14:10,536 --> 00:14:12,170 Now take your nap. 394 00:14:12,171 --> 00:14:13,405 And if I see the lights on in here, 395 00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:16,241 I'm gonna be very disappointed in you. 396 00:14:19,112 --> 00:14:20,979 Are you the idiot that made a Friday night arrest? 397 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:22,581 I was in the poconos with my wife. 398 00:14:22,582 --> 00:14:23,882 You ruined my entire weekend. 399 00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:26,752 Get in line, because that's their attitude. 400 00:14:26,753 --> 00:14:28,354 Get your own attitude. 401 00:14:28,355 --> 00:14:31,424 He has an alibi, geniuses. He was at torque. 402 00:14:31,425 --> 00:14:33,966 It's a nightclub in cape may, New Jersey, all night. 403 00:14:33,967 --> 00:14:34,994 Nice try. 404 00:14:35,028 --> 00:14:36,362 You think I'm gonna waste six hours 405 00:14:36,363 --> 00:14:38,931 driving to the Jersey Shore and back on some fake alibi? 406 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,232 It's up to you. 407 00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:43,468 But in ten hours, he walks. 408 00:14:44,703 --> 00:14:48,507 More like in ten hours, he walks into prison, 409 00:14:48,508 --> 00:14:49,708 when we bust him. 410 00:14:49,742 --> 00:14:51,210 Let's follow up on his alibi. 411 00:14:51,211 --> 00:14:53,479 - Yep, you heard him, Scully, hit the road. - No. 412 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,713 You should've looked into this 413 00:14:54,714 --> 00:14:56,715 before you made the arrest. You go. 414 00:14:56,716 --> 00:14:57,816 (Scully) Oh, Captain, I'm happy to go. 415 00:14:57,851 --> 00:14:59,252 I love the saltwater taffy down there. 416 00:14:59,286 --> 00:15:00,586 Scully loves the saltwater taffy down there. 417 00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:02,955 No, Peralta's going. Go, Peralta. 418 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,257 Look, I know I caused this problem, but I can fix it. 419 00:15:05,258 --> 00:15:06,926 We just got some new security footage in. 420 00:15:06,927 --> 00:15:08,288 Let me stay here and go through it. 421 00:15:08,295 --> 00:15:10,429 I'm gonna prove that Whitman was at the scene of the crime, 422 00:15:10,463 --> 00:15:12,298 even if it kills me. 423 00:15:12,332 --> 00:15:14,200 This is killing me. 424 00:15:14,201 --> 00:15:16,768 - Good. Die. - [Sighs] 425 00:15:16,769 --> 00:15:19,838 You know, if it does come to that, 426 00:15:19,839 --> 00:15:23,576 I have but one wish before I go. 427 00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:25,111 Can I please put your glasses on my penis? 428 00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:28,181 I just think that would be really funny. 429 00:15:28,215 --> 00:15:30,416 Hey, can you make copies 430 00:15:30,417 --> 00:15:31,617 of these warrant requests for me? 431 00:15:31,652 --> 00:15:33,252 I'm not your secretary. 432 00:15:33,287 --> 00:15:34,887 You're everyone's secretary. 433 00:15:34,888 --> 00:15:36,656 That's literally your job. 434 00:15:36,657 --> 00:15:39,058 And your job is lying about your taste buds? 435 00:15:39,092 --> 00:15:40,359 [Sighs] 436 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,861 I'm sorry about the whole pie blowup thing. 437 00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:42,962 You're right. 438 00:15:42,963 --> 00:15:44,797 The flatbush diner pie is awful. 439 00:15:44,831 --> 00:15:48,168 - Thank you. - It's just... 440 00:15:48,169 --> 00:15:49,836 I want Rosa to like me. 441 00:15:49,871 --> 00:15:52,106 All right, do whatever you want, 442 00:15:52,107 --> 00:15:54,242 but most women don't really like it 443 00:15:54,243 --> 00:15:56,945 when dudes lie to them. 444 00:15:56,979 --> 00:15:59,181 Except for me, but I'm wired 445 00:15:59,182 --> 00:16:02,084 to thrive on dysfunction. 446 00:16:02,118 --> 00:16:04,619 Nothing. 447 00:16:04,654 --> 00:16:07,521 Wait, wait, wait. This guy... 5'9 " or 5'10", 448 00:16:07,522 --> 00:16:08,689 black knit cap. 449 00:16:08,723 --> 00:16:10,177 Come on, come on, come on. 450 00:16:10,192 --> 00:16:11,846 (Jake) Gotcha! 451 00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:15,229 Ugh, it's not him. 452 00:16:15,264 --> 00:16:18,499 Let's just arrest this guy. Who even cares anymore? 453 00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:21,002 So how'd my new best friend Luke take it 454 00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:22,203 when you cancelled on him again? 455 00:16:22,237 --> 00:16:25,539 Don't know, hasn't called me back. 456 00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:26,907 Which is what always happens, 457 00:16:26,908 --> 00:16:29,944 because it's impossible to be a cop and date. 458 00:16:29,978 --> 00:16:33,147 Amy, look. There is a guy out there 459 00:16:33,148 --> 00:16:35,015 with incredibly low standards 460 00:16:35,016 --> 00:16:37,385 and a super weird soul patch, 461 00:16:37,419 --> 00:16:39,387 and he is waiting for you. 462 00:16:39,421 --> 00:16:43,491 Amy, my patch tingles for you. 463 00:16:43,525 --> 00:16:46,494 We will wed on the isle of New Jersey. 464 00:16:46,528 --> 00:16:48,629 Our first dance will be to jessie's girl, 465 00:16:48,630 --> 00:16:51,331 because my name is definitely jessie. 466 00:16:51,332 --> 00:16:52,700 - It's so romantic. - Hey, guys. 467 00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:53,934 Hey. 468 00:16:53,935 --> 00:16:56,270 Yeah, there's good news, and there's bad news. 469 00:16:56,304 --> 00:16:59,940 The bad news is my saltwater taffy place was closed. 470 00:16:59,941 --> 00:17:01,240 And the good news? 471 00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:02,741 Whitman's alibi checked out. 472 00:17:02,776 --> 00:17:05,711 Security footage from torque shows he was there. 473 00:17:05,712 --> 00:17:07,380 That's not good news. 474 00:17:07,414 --> 00:17:10,516 - That's bad news. - Right. That is bad news. 475 00:17:10,517 --> 00:17:12,618 Sorry, it's on me. 476 00:17:12,619 --> 00:17:14,486 No, Detective Scully, it's on Peralta. 477 00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:18,290 No, Captain, that's on Santiago. 478 00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:20,358 It's on me. It's still on me. 479 00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:23,895 (Terry) This is such a disaster. 480 00:17:23,929 --> 00:17:26,297 It's not good. D.A.'s furious. 481 00:17:26,298 --> 00:17:28,033 Whitman and his lawyer are in my office right now, 482 00:17:28,034 --> 00:17:30,502 gunning for a lawsuit. No, not that. 483 00:17:30,536 --> 00:17:32,771 My brother-in-law is coming to have dinner with me 484 00:17:32,772 --> 00:17:35,440 on his way to jfk. 485 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:41,480 But also the botched investigation, that's bad too. 486 00:17:43,983 --> 00:17:45,283 Okay, what can I do? 487 00:17:45,318 --> 00:17:48,453 Oh, your services will not be necessary, 488 00:17:48,454 --> 00:17:50,822 because you need to go home and change for your date. 489 00:17:50,823 --> 00:17:52,757 - What? - I called handsome Luke. 490 00:17:52,758 --> 00:17:54,326 I explained the weekend was entirely 491 00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:55,660 my fault, partially. 492 00:17:55,661 --> 00:17:57,062 And he wants to go out with you tonight. 493 00:17:57,096 --> 00:17:59,665 - Thanks, Peralta. - You're welcome. 494 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:00,800 Just promise me you won't use the condoms 495 00:18:00,801 --> 00:18:02,234 in the secret pocket of your purse, okay? 496 00:18:02,235 --> 00:18:04,203 - They're expired. - How do you know what's in my purse? 497 00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:06,005 I needed concealer for a zit. 498 00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:09,341 Plus, you know, we spend so much time together here, 499 00:18:09,342 --> 00:18:11,343 I know everything about everyone. 500 00:18:11,344 --> 00:18:14,146 I know Hitchcock went bald at 15. 501 00:18:14,147 --> 00:18:16,214 Scully used to date Hitchcock's wife. 502 00:18:16,215 --> 00:18:18,450 Charles has a bike with a little basket on the front. 503 00:18:18,451 --> 00:18:20,051 How else would you carry baguettes? 504 00:18:20,052 --> 00:18:22,621 And Rosa has a shower in her apartment, I think. 505 00:18:22,622 --> 00:18:24,089 I got nothing on her. 506 00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,223 Good. 507 00:18:25,258 --> 00:18:27,459 Well, I guess we did just spend 48 hours 508 00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:30,396 locked in here together. 509 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:34,600 Holy crap. 510 00:18:34,601 --> 00:18:36,402 - What? - Locked in here together. 511 00:18:36,436 --> 00:18:38,471 So we will be filing a wrongful arrest suit 512 00:18:38,472 --> 00:18:40,272 against the NYPD. 513 00:18:40,307 --> 00:18:43,709 And when I win, I'm gonna buy club torque, 514 00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:44,810 put a statue of Jake Peralta 515 00:18:44,811 --> 00:18:46,212 right in the middle of the dance floor. 516 00:18:46,213 --> 00:18:48,314 First off, that's a terrible threat. 517 00:18:48,315 --> 00:18:49,749 I would love to have a statue of myself 518 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,083 in the middle of a dance club. 519 00:18:51,084 --> 00:18:52,384 Second... [Clears throat] 520 00:18:52,385 --> 00:18:53,819 Do me a favor, take a look at this picture, 521 00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:55,020 and tell me what you see. 522 00:18:55,055 --> 00:18:56,923 You and Regis philbin. 523 00:18:56,957 --> 00:18:58,124 (Jake) Awesome, right? 524 00:18:58,125 --> 00:18:59,459 Surprisingly down-to-earth guy 525 00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,227 and definitely not the picture I meant to show you. 526 00:19:01,228 --> 00:19:02,796 But take a look at this. 527 00:19:02,797 --> 00:19:06,033 That's right, it's you and your old cell mate Marcus Cole. 528 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:09,270 And here he is again outside the jewelry store. 529 00:19:09,304 --> 00:19:11,005 The two of you planned this together in prison. 530 00:19:11,006 --> 00:19:12,407 You taught him your m.O, 531 00:19:12,408 --> 00:19:13,741 he pulled off the robbery, 532 00:19:13,742 --> 00:19:16,511 you got yourself an alibi, and you split the loot. 533 00:19:16,545 --> 00:19:19,180 Oh, man, I can't believe he caught us. 534 00:19:19,181 --> 00:19:20,415 [As Regis philbin] Of course he did, 535 00:19:20,416 --> 00:19:21,616 Peralta is the best! 536 00:19:21,617 --> 00:19:23,384 Aw, thanks, reg. That's enough. 537 00:19:23,385 --> 00:19:24,652 Yeah, I gotta work on my Regis. 538 00:19:24,653 --> 00:19:25,987 Anyway, see ya in jail, Whitman. 539 00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:28,456 You got anything else to say? 540 00:19:29,792 --> 00:19:32,828 Hey, Rosa, the flatbush diner's pie is terrible. 541 00:19:32,829 --> 00:19:34,096 It's inedible. 542 00:19:34,097 --> 00:19:35,564 Food is supposed to be edible. 543 00:19:35,599 --> 00:19:36,699 So you were lying? 544 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,135 - What the hell, Boyle? - [Giggles] 545 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,471 Put it in the suck-it bucket. 546 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,539 Crust isn't any better. 547 00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:46,275 It's fancier, but it's all bells and whistles. 548 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,811 Desserts don't need to be clever. 549 00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:50,580 They just need to be good. 550 00:19:50,581 --> 00:19:54,317 This is the best pie in New York City... 551 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:59,356 Apple from argos bakery, founded 1910. 552 00:19:59,357 --> 00:20:02,526 Recipe unchanged. Taste it. 553 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,965 Damn, it is amazing. 554 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,766 This pie is so good, I hate it. 555 00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:11,568 You just graduated pie school, bitches. 556 00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:14,171 Sorry I said "bitches," I'm just really worked up. 557 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,073 Yow! Mmm, what is that? 558 00:20:16,108 --> 00:20:19,076 Sorry for screwing up everyone's weekend. 559 00:20:19,111 --> 00:20:22,780 Hey, uh, drinks on me. Who's in? 560 00:20:22,781 --> 00:20:24,248 Oh, no way. No, I got the date. I gotta change. 561 00:20:24,283 --> 00:20:26,651 - Come on. - Everyone's tired, Peralta. 562 00:20:26,652 --> 00:20:28,019 They just wanna go home. 563 00:20:28,053 --> 00:20:29,720 Yeah, but I have to prove I'm not selfish, 564 00:20:29,721 --> 00:20:30,922 so I don't care what they want. 565 00:20:30,923 --> 00:20:33,124 That sounded bad. 566 00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,027 And to make up for what I did, I'll cover 567 00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,061 one shift each for all of you. 568 00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:39,363 [Laughs] No kidding? 569 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:40,798 - Except Santiago. - What? 570 00:20:40,799 --> 00:20:41,999 (Jake) I got you your date back. 571 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,169 One nice thing from me is all you get. 572 00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:47,438 So this is my desk. 573 00:20:47,439 --> 00:20:48,739 Desk jockey, huh? 574 00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:51,142 You just sit here, eat your pickles, 575 00:20:51,176 --> 00:20:52,877 wait for the criminals to turn themselves in. 576 00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:54,412 Actually, I don't like pickles that much. 577 00:20:54,413 --> 00:20:55,913 (Holt) Terry, I'm glad I found you. 578 00:20:55,948 --> 00:20:58,015 There's been a development in the Russian mob case. 579 00:20:58,016 --> 00:20:59,417 Oh? Yeah, our killer 580 00:20:59,451 --> 00:21:00,651 has been spotted in the warehouse 581 00:21:00,652 --> 00:21:02,319 down by the canal. Get your gear. 582 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,321 So you want me first through the door, sir? 583 00:21:04,322 --> 00:21:05,490 Oh, it's just you. 584 00:21:05,491 --> 00:21:07,225 The SWAT team is on another call, 585 00:21:07,259 --> 00:21:09,427 so you'll have to do it alone. 586 00:21:09,428 --> 00:21:11,530 Hey, I'm not gonna be able to make dinner tonight. 587 00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:13,699 Hey, no, do your thing, do your thing. 588 00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:16,034 Go, Terry. 589 00:21:16,035 --> 00:21:18,505 You can crash on my couch. 590 00:21:18,506 --> 00:21:21,265 I even downloaded you some whale songs. 591 00:21:21,266 --> 00:21:23,854 Thank you, sir. I'll never forget it. 592 00:21:27,545 --> 00:21:29,517 Good night, Terry. 593 00:21:30,496 --> 00:21:34,505 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/