WEBVTT 1 00:00:01,392 --> 00:00:01,610 . 2 00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:03,612 [bright tone] 3 00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:07,181 - Gentlemen, may I present to you the Suicide Squad. 4 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:09,009 - Hang on there, genius. You want us, your enemies, 5 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,836 to help you bring down Commissioner Kelly? 6 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,142 - You guys consider me your enemy? 7 00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:13,665 You're some of my best friends. 8 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,319 - We haven't talked to you in, like, three years, C.J. 9 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,060 - Wait, yeah. I'm thinking of different guys. 10 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,106 - Oh, Raymond, that you came to me to ask for help 11 00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:20,411 shows how much you've matured. 12 00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:21,804 You know what else shows how much you've matured? 13 00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:23,327 Your withered face. 14 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,503 - Now I know why you refer to this as a Suicide Squad, 15 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:28,332 Peralta, because I already want to kill myself. 16 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:30,334 - Why don't you wait a week? You'll probably die of old age. 17 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:31,683 - The only way I'm going to die 18 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:33,511 is if you touch me with one of your bony fingers 19 00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:36,732 and drag me across the River Styx, you reaper. 20 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:38,342 - Ah, wonderful. Very creative. 21 00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:40,649 Look, John Kelly has to be stopped. 22 00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:41,954 He's spying on civilians. 23 00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,695 It's unconstitutional and it's wrong. 24 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,088 - Please. Do you think any one 25 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,916 of these jackals cares about what's right or wrong? 26 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:48,178 - [whistles] I'll help. - See, sir? 27 00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:49,658 There is good in every person. 28 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:50,963 - But I want it to be known it's for selfish reasons. 29 00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:52,095 - Why would you want that to be known? 30 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,270 - 'Cause I've never met C.J. before 31 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:54,663 and I want him to think that I'm cool. 32 00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,012 - It's working. 33 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,318 I mean, I love how you're taking over the room. 34 00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:58,493 - Like that? Yeah, it's awesome. 35 00:00:58,536 --> 00:00:59,885 - You know, I actually wouldn't mind 36 00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:01,104 getting rid of John Kelly either. 37 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,366 That guy makes up so many dumb rules. 38 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:03,933 He told me I couldn't eat raw chicken. 39 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,500 - And you think a new commissioner will-- 40 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:07,284 - Yeah, he's already on board, so yes, a new commissioner 41 00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:09,504 would let you eat raw chicken for whatever reason. 42 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:10,983 - It's healthier. - It sure is, Ceej. 43 00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,507 - And what do you hope to get out of this, Madeline? 44 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:13,725 Let me guess-- 45 00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,075 revenge on Dorothy for killing your sister? 46 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,424 - I want the same as you, Raymond-- 47 00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,774 I think what John Kelly is doing is terrible. 48 00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,080 - Yes, well said, Wuntch. 49 00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:22,256 So, we're all on board. This is exciting! 50 00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:25,128 Let's bring it in, huh? "Suicide Squad" on three. 51 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,087 Ready? One, two-- 52 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,305 - I don't touch other dudes' hands. 53 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:29,698 - Whose hand is sticky? - It might be me. 54 00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,569 I ate a popsicle earlier. - It's probably Madeline. 55 00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:33,571 Cockroaches release a mucus-like secretion. 56 00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:36,008 - You would know about roaches, you roach. 57 00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:38,098 - And three! Suicide Squad! 58 00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:41,101 [upbeat music] 59 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:48,369 ♪ 60 00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,902 - Sorry. Sorry I'm late. 61 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,296 - Why is Santiago here? We agreed to keep this secret. 62 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:03,645 - Well, it's hard to keep secrets 63 00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:05,255 when you're married to an ace detective. 64 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,604 - He told me as soon as he got home. 65 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,519 - I did. I'm so excited about the Suicide Squad. 66 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,130 - Oh, I love seeing these glimpses 67 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,783 of domestic Peraltiago. 68 00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,133 Now kiss. - No. 69 00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,438 - You don't do it enough. - We do it all the time, 70 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,092 just not in front of you. - It's been a year! 71 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,398 - We don't have time for this. 72 00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,182 Now, Kelly's stingrays can steal cell phone data 73 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,662 from anyone, including us, so I procured 74 00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:22,925 special equipment for us to communicate with. 75 00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,535 - Extremely old beepers? 76 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,581 - Yeah, they're analog, so the stingrays can't detect them. 77 00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:29,105 - I had one of these in high school, and it was so cool. 78 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,846 You're just sitting in math class, 79 00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:32,195 and you feel that buzz, 80 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,154 and it's your dad saying he loves you. 81 00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:36,286 The rest of the day, you're just walking on air. 82 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,810 [smooch] Did you guys just kiss? 83 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:39,985 both: Hm? - Did I miss it? 84 00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:41,161 - Yes. It was very unprofessional. 85 00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,640 - Oh, come on! - I don't like this. 86 00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,338 I wouldn't wish working with Madeline Wuntch 87 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,296 on my worst enemy, and my worst enemy 88 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:47,993 is Madeline Wuntch, whom I hate. 89 00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,343 - Look, if you wanna stop Kelly, 90 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,171 she's the key to my entire plan. 91 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:52,650 So, either you get over it, 92 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:55,566 or we walk away from this thing right now. 93 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,177 - Ugh, fine. 94 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,048 I will learn to trust Madeline Wuntch. 95 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,355 I will never trust Madeline Wuntch. 96 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:03,487 She's a venomous snake waiting to strike, 97 00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:04,749 and you know what we do to snakes. 98 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:06,360 - Chop their heads off. Remove the skin. 99 00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:07,578 Turn them into boots. - Don't be absurd. 100 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,189 Who would want Trollskin boots? 101 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,190 - You just said she was a snake. 102 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,452 - The devil comes in many forms. 103 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:14,194 No, what I meant was I want you to follow her 104 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:16,108 and make sure she doesn't betray us. 105 00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,762 And, uh, don't tell Peralta. 106 00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,329 - Count me in. I got nothing else going on. 107 00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:20,504 - Aren't you supposed to be getting ready 108 00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,027 to transfer to Staten Island? 109 00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:24,291 - Eh, that's not real. - It was pretty real last week. 110 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:27,511 - That's before I decided to pretend it wasn't. 111 00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,600 I'm in denial. - Most people who are in denial 112 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,211 don't usually say they're in denial. 113 00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:32,777 - That's because they're in denial 114 00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,431 about being in denial. 115 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,216 But I'm not in denial. 116 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,521 I'm in denial. 117 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,567 - Is Jeffords' brain okay for this mission? 118 00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:42,657 - Yes, sir--for this and all future Nine-Nine missions, 119 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,702 which I'll definitely be a part of. 120 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,051 But let's go. 121 00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:47,488 - So, this apartment will be our base 122 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:48,663 for the duration of the mission. 123 00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,360 Thank you to The Vulture for procuring it. 124 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,970 - Hey, don't thank me. Thank my boy, Billy. 125 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:54,059 He said the place was mine while he's still in prison. 126 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,539 That's not what it sounds like. 127 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:58,281 His only crime was planning a kickass music festival. 128 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,152 - Are you friends with the Fyre Festival guy? 129 00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,632 - Best friends. He got a bum rap. 130 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,939 You can learn about it when my documentary comes out. 131 00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,942 It points all the blame where it clearly belongs-- 132 00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,160 with the island people. 133 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,032 - Wow, so many levels of terrible there. 134 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:11,512 All right, we need to catch Kelly 135 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,253 in the act of illegally spying, so here's the plan. 136 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,298 We commit a fake crime so serious 137 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,734 that he's forced to deploy the stingray. 138 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,780 - What kind of crime? - We're gonna kidnap a cop. 139 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:21,086 But not just any cop-- it needs to be someone 140 00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:22,392 so high-ranking that it sends shockwaves 141 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,002 through the system, but not important enough 142 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:27,310 that their absence negatively impacts the NYPD in any way. 143 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,315 - Who you guys thinking? 144 00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,099 - We're clearly all looking at you. 145 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:35,318 - Oh, God. Am I in charge of the meeting? 146 00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,450 Dismissed. Dismissed. 147 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,929 - No. You're getting kidnapped, C.J. 148 00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,801 Amy, Charles, and I will be the kidnappers. 149 00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:42,412 Captain Holt is the driver. Here's how it'll go down. 150 00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:43,935 - Approaching the target. - All right, let's do this. 151 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,459 Masks on. 152 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,374 Actually, scratch that. We're not gonna use ski masks. 153 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:48,940 We'll use cool rubber masks. 154 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,855 - Ooh, we should be the ladies of "The First Wives Club." 155 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,161 I call Keaton. 156 00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,336 - We're not gonna do "First Wives Club" masks. 157 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,685 - Just because you can't be Keaton? 158 00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,861 Grow up, Jake! - No, because they don't exist. 159 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,123 And also, yeah, 160 00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,734 Keaton is clearly the coolest one and 161 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,779 I don't think it's really fair that you just "called her." 162 00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,564 Forget it. We'll wear scary gorilla masks. 163 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,130 - Approaching the target. - Okay, let's do this. 164 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,480 Masks on. 165 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:07,959 When C.J. goes to get his morning coffee, 166 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,439 we will arrive and grab him. [tires screech] 167 00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:10,614 He will pretend to struggle 168 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,181 just enough to attract attention. 169 00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:13,791 - Help! Help! 170 00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:15,271 [tires screech] 171 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,012 - I'm gonna write this down so I remember my lines. 172 00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:18,622 - I can see that you already have the word "milk" 173 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,363 written on your hand. I know where this is going. 174 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,973 - Milk! Milk! 175 00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:23,453 - Don't do that. - Too risky. 176 00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,368 What if you leave DNA evidence at the scene? 177 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,196 - Well, luckily, it's a missing person's case, 178 00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,459 so the lead detective will be The Vulture. 179 00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:30,634 He will arrive and-- 180 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,070 - No, no, no, no, no. Hold on, Peralta. 181 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,116 You forgot to say that I ride in on my motorcycle. 182 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:37,206 - Okay, The Vulture who rode in on his motorcycle... 183 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:38,816 - Kobe. 184 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,209 - Will take charge and eliminate any evidence 185 00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:41,689 we left behind. 186 00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,473 - There's nothing here. - Make sure the other people 187 00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,040 working with you are your worst detectives. 188 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,172 - I got just the guys for you. I mean, they're real duds. 189 00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:49,349 - I wouldn't even trust those two to get coffee for me. 190 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,394 - Gerard, tell him where we're at. 191 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:52,874 - Brooklyn. 192 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,354 - You know, you guys take off, all right? I got this. 193 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,530 - All right. - Hey, you. Come here. 194 00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:57,661 You wanna tell me what you saw? 195 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,184 - I'll tell you what I'd like to see. 196 00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,360 Your big-- - Stop. 197 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,665 I'm the one describing the plan. 198 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:02,884 - What, so there's not gonna be any sex at all? 199 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,276 - No. The point is, 200 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,669 without any good leads, Kelly will give the order 201 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,715 to use the stingray-- an order that we will record 202 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,456 thanks to our very own Madeline Wuntch. 203 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,675 - Not possible. Kelly won't tell me anything. 204 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:14,112 He won't even meet with me. - Perhaps you can sneak in 205 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,592 disguised as an old leather chair. 206 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:18,508 - Will you calm down? She works at One Police Plaza. 207 00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:20,292 All you have to do is "run into him." 208 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:21,511 - Commissioner Kelly. 209 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:22,904 - Oh, Madeline. I didn't see you there. 210 00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,688 I thought you were an old leather chair. 211 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,342 - He's not gonna say that. - He might. 212 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,778 - You're worse than The Vulture. 213 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,737 Anyways, give him a handshake, a pat on the back... 214 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,652 - I heard your app caught a serial killer. 215 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,219 - [chuckles] - HotClues strikes again. 216 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,178 - Yes, indeedy. - And plant the bug. 217 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,571 And that's the plan. 218 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:40,138 That is exactly how tomorrow's gonna go. 219 00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,488 - Got it. 220 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,446 So you do or you don't want me to yell "milk"? 221 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:46,057 . 222 00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,451 - Approaching the target. - Okay, let's do this. 223 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,844 Masks on. 224 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,236 - I thought we were getting rubber masks. 225 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,238 - Yeah, I couldn't find any. It's not Halloween. 226 00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,544 - These look like they're from "Fifty Shades of Grey." 227 00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,198 - Yeah, I got them from a sex shop, Amy, 228 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,026 and we're lucky to have them. There were only three left. 229 00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:00,202 - At least you're not wearing a gimp mask. 230 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:01,464 - Look, there weren't a lot of options. 231 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,161 It was a very awkward retail interaction. 232 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,903 Can we please just kidnap C.J. now? 233 00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,905 [tires screech] 234 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,254 [upbeat music] 235 00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:11,169 - [screams] Leave me alone! 236 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,433 Leave me alone! - What the [bleep]? 237 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,696 - You'll never get me alive! Help! 238 00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,393 Help! Somebody call the police! 239 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,265 Here, take her. Take her instead of me. 240 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,311 [grunts] No, don't hurt me. 241 00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:24,052 Don't hurt me. 242 00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,010 Oh, it's you. - Yeah, it's us. 243 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:27,708 Now, get in the van. 244 00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,274 - Oh, okay. 245 00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,537 Help! 246 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,756 [screams] 247 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,806 Hey, could we stop and get a Slushee? 248 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:41,025 It's just that you guys kinda made me drop it back there. 249 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,288 - What the hell was that, C.J.? - I'm sorry! 250 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,551 I didn't know it was you. 251 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,074 You were supposed to be in gorilla masks. 252 00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:47,379 - Okay, so, let me get this straight. 253 00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,207 You thought that we were real kidnappers 254 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,774 who showed up at the exact time 255 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,167 that we planned a fake kidnapping? 256 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,951 - Exactly. You get it. He gets it. 257 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,257 - Nobody is following us. 258 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,432 I'm headed back to the apartment. 259 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,129 - Okay, look, that didn't go great, 260 00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,175 but we got away, and on the plus side, 261 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,698 no more of the plan hinges on C.J. 262 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:02,873 - Oh, thank God. 263 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,135 - He pulled off your mask, Jake. 264 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,310 What if someone saw you? 265 00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,617 - That's why we have The Vulture. 266 00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:08,966 - Kobe. - Ow. 267 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,186 - [grunts] 268 00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:12,535 - Captain Pembroke, what do you have there? 269 00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,363 - Did you find a hair? - Nice work. 270 00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:16,800 - Let's bag it. Let's get it to the lab. 271 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,149 - They have my hair? 272 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:19,847 I thought you put your two worst guys on this. 273 00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,152 - These are my worst guys, all right? 274 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:22,893 They're real dorks. They both wear glasses. 275 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,199 One of them's even a woman. - Ugh. 276 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:25,809 You said you didn't trust them to get coffee. 277 00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,811 - Look, if you can't tell what "coffee" is code for by now, 278 00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,900 then you and I shouldn't be talking about this, Jake. 279 00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,075 - Oh, my God. 280 00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:32,599 He put his best detectives on the case. 281 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,731 - Hey, my two best detectives are Sticky and Boner, 282 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,820 and they definitely know how to order "coffee." 283 00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,213 Extra cream. Wink, wink. 284 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:40,215 - Guys, stop fighting. We did it. 285 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,999 Let's just chill and play some "Madden." 286 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,305 - No one's playing "Madden" with you, C.J. 287 00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:44,698 - [sighs] - You know what, Peralta? 288 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,309 This is all your fault. A witness saw your face 289 00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,267 and now there's a police sketch of you being sent around. 290 00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:51,052 - Oh, please. That doesn't even look like me. 291 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,488 The only thing that got right is my little curl, 292 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,576 and I can just get rid of that. 293 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,012 - Jake, you can't. - You're right. 294 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,058 It's worth the risk to keep it. - This is bad. 295 00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,625 Our plan is collapsing. - No, it's not. 296 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,192 John Kelly's gonna authorize the stingray within the hour 297 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:02,367 and everything'll be fine-- 298 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:04,065 assuming Wuntch gets the bug in place. 299 00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:06,720 [funky music] 300 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,896 - She's still standing there. - Oh, since we got time, 301 00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,071 you wanna talk about your good-bye party? 302 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,333 Will you eat a cake, or does it have to be 303 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:12,682 boneless chicken breast? - Sure. 304 00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,641 70-year-old Terry can eat whatever he wants. 305 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,599 You are talking about my retirement party, right? 306 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:17,861 20 years from now. 307 00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,428 - Dude, you know I'm not talking about that. 308 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,082 What do you think is gonna happen at the end of the week? 309 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,214 - I don't know, but I do know what's gonna happen right now. 310 00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,389 Topic change. 311 00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,914 You ever wonder where wind starts? 312 00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:28,480 I have. Wind is crazy. 313 00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,395 - You need to face facts. - About wind? 314 00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,136 I'm trying, but you won't engage. 315 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,008 Why you in denial about wind, Rosa? 316 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:35,400 - Commissioner Kelly. 317 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,663 - Something's going on with Wuntch. 318 00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,403 - I heard your app caught a serial killer. 319 00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,754 - [chuckles] - HotClues strikes again. 320 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,843 - Yes, indeedy. 321 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:45,454 ♪ 322 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,587 - What the hell, Raymond? You were following me? 323 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,892 - I don't know what you're talking about. 324 00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:50,633 I've been here the whole time. - My mistake. 325 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,766 These two goons were carrying a dirty old mop 326 00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,289 that looked exactly like you. 327 00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:55,464 - What did you do? - She's up to something. 328 00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:56,770 [phone dings] I'm sure of it. 329 00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:58,293 - Hey, it's Kimble and Gerard. 330 00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:00,034 Those nerds found DNA all over the scene. 331 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,209 - Take care of it. 332 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,384 - Now? - Yes! 333 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,690 - You know, I know I just got here, 334 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:04,908 but it feels like everything's falling apart. 335 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,344 - No, everything's going great, Rosa. 336 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,129 - Hey, cool. I'm not the only one 337 00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:09,565 that's in denial. It's catching on. 338 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,175 - I'm not in denial. We've had a few hiccups, 339 00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,525 but all that matters is that Wuntch planted the bug on Kelly. 340 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,658 - No. I didn't. - What's that now? 341 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,660 - You don't trust me, I don't trust you. 342 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,749 The mission is off. Here's your bug back. 343 00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:22,360 It's not an actual bug, so don't eat it, you lizard. 344 00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,798 - Ha! You didn't specify the subspecies of lizard. 345 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,147 I won that round! 346 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,714 - Oh, my God. Will you give it a rest? 347 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:30,760 . 348 00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,675 - Oh, man. I can't believe this wild ride's over. 349 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:33,894 We've changed so much. 350 00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:35,547 You know, when we started out, we were just 351 00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:37,854 Charles the jock, Amy the rebel, 352 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:40,596 Captain Silly Pants, Talky-talky Rosa, 353 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,860 Terry the stoner, and C.J. the ringleader. 354 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,166 - I'm not sure you're nailing these. 355 00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:47,559 - Okay, I smoothed things over with Madeline, 356 00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:49,387 and she's agreed to rejoin the Suicide Squad. 357 00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:52,564 - Oh, goody gumdrops. But do we even need her? 358 00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:53,870 What does she bring to the table? 359 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,046 - 30 years of police experience. - I have 33. 360 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,526 - I earned a Police Combat Cross. 361 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,701 - I have a Medal of Honor. 362 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,877 - I own the record for most arrests 363 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:02,531 as a uniformed officer in NYPD history. 364 00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:05,012 - You got me there--of course, I never spent much time in 365 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:08,624 uniform because I was promoted to detective after one month. 366 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,321 - They're not allowed to do that. It's against the rules. 367 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,584 - It's also against the rules to let a pile of worms 368 00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,238 wear a uniform, and yet here you stand. 369 00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,327 - Okay, just stop. Look, sir, I've explained this. 370 00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,678 Wuntch is the only one that can get close to Kelly. 371 00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,418 We need her. - Okay. 372 00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,029 The worm pile stays. - Great. 373 00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:24,684 - That was our last obstacle-- except for one other thing, 374 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:25,902 I promised her that you would apologize 375 00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,121 for everything you've ever done to her. 376 00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,210 - Including the Michelle Obama incident? 377 00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,690 - Yes, she mentioned that specifically. 378 00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,952 I'm very curious what happened there. 379 00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,476 - Oh, it's nothing. But fine. 380 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:38,001 I'm sorry, Madeline, for everything. 381 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:41,396 - Hey. - Especially for... 382 00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:42,745 Pushing you into Michelle Obama 383 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,268 from behind and then running away. 384 00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,487 - What? - Sir! 385 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,750 - It was very funny. - Apology accepted. 386 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:48,925 There's a Policeman's Ball tonight. 387 00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:50,927 I can plant the bug on Kelly there. 388 00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,842 And since you don't trust me, you can be my plus one. 389 00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:55,410 - Oh, please. Everyone knows we're enemies. 390 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,107 It would raise suspicions. - Don't worry. 391 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,066 I know just what to tell people. 392 00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:02,634 - Madeline and I are now... 393 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,201 lovers. 394 00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:06,377 - So, we can assume Kelly authorized stingray surveillance 395 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,771 and we missed it, but if we ratchet up the pressure on him, 396 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,381 we might get another chance. 397 00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:11,948 - How do we ratchet up pressure more than we already have? 398 00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:14,124 - By making him believe that the "kidnappers" are serious, 399 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,647 and that C.J. is in real danger. 400 00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:18,650 - Ooh, what if we send Kelly a severed finger in a box? 401 00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,304 - No way! I need all my fingers. 402 00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:22,132 How else am I gonna do the hang ten sign? 403 00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:23,655 - Nobody's cutting off your fingers. 404 00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:25,309 I meant we would get one from the morgue. 405 00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:26,876 - From the morgue? 406 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,139 Man, we are always getting into the craziest situations. 407 00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:31,446 If I were leaving this squad, I'd miss these moments, 408 00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:32,752 but I'm not, so I won't. 409 00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,231 - Okay, seriously. What's going on with him? 410 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,319 - It's a whole thing. - Is it gonna screw up the plan? 411 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,668 - It's more quietly self-destructive. 412 00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:38,801 - Sounds good. Terry, do you. - I have an idea. 413 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,672 So when my dad lost his flower shop, my Aunt Bruce-- 414 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,326 - Charles, we don't have time for a weird Boyle story 415 00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,719 right now. Just tell us your idea. 416 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,025 - We make a scary hostage video 417 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,200 where it looks like we're gonna kill C.J. 418 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,375 - Ooh, I love that. Wait a minute. 419 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,768 Your dad did that to save his flower shop? 420 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:49,899 Was your aunt the hostage? What happened? 421 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,248 - You said we didn't have time. 422 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:52,510 - I didn't know it was the coolest story ever. 423 00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:54,034 - Oh, it is. 424 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,644 - Well then, tell the whole thing and spare no detail. 425 00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:56,819 - Okay, so you know how Aunt Bruce can lactate on command? 426 00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,342 - Of course. - Guys. 427 00:12:58,386 --> 00:12:59,996 - Yeah, sorry. All right. So we'll make a hostage video, 428 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,563 but I don't think we should do it here. 429 00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,043 It's too nice. 430 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,045 Do we know anyone with, like, a real creepy basement? 431 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,742 - Yeah, it's just got one exposed light bulb 432 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,048 and a couple of spent mattresses. 433 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,614 - "Spent"? Oh, yeah. 434 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,007 That sounds perfect. - Oh, wait. 435 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,314 Before we decide--Scully, what's your basement like? 436 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:14,837 - Bunch of old Victorian wallpaper 437 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,970 that came with the house. I tried to peel it off, 438 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,362 but the wall underneath was covered with 439 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,669 fingernail scratches. both: Ooh. 440 00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,192 - Hitchcock, can you top it? 441 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,759 - Mine has mother's hospital bed. 442 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,239 - Okay, Scully? - Uh-huh, yeah. 443 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,937 - I got this one red door I've never been able to open 444 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:30,244 and I hear screams behind it sometimes. 445 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:33,813 [ominous music] But it's probably just the wind. 446 00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,336 - Okay, that's actually too scary. 447 00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:37,033 Hitchcock's it is. 448 00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:39,383 - How do we get close enough without attracting attention? 449 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,559 - Could dance. You must know some moves. 450 00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:43,910 You were mentioned by name in the "Monster Mash." 451 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,347 - Fine, but on two conditions-- we stay at least 452 00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,784 4 inches apart at all times, and you tuck your tail 453 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,742 back into your pants so I don't trip on it. 454 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,875 - Deal. 455 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,747 - My name is Captain Jason Stentley. 456 00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,924 It's Friday night--I think. 457 00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,274 There's no windows in here. 458 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,972 This morning, I was kidnapped for real-- 459 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:03,973 - Stop. - What? 460 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,235 What was wrong with that? 461 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,846 - You said you were kidnapped "for real." 462 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,108 - Well, I don't want people to think I was fake kidnapped. 463 00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:09,283 You know? I'm selling it. [laughs] 464 00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,850 - Okay, let's just do it again. 465 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,895 Say you were kidnapped and nothing else. 466 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,028 - Now he's gonna add "nothing else." 467 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,768 - She's right. - Okay, fine, one more time. 468 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,596 Take 12. Just say kidnapped. 469 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,076 - Okay. 470 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,339 Kidnapped. - [groans] 471 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:23,514 - You move well. 472 00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:26,082 Must be all the extra legs, you crab. 473 00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,605 - Don't you find this exhausting? 474 00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,042 - Thinking of fresh insults? 475 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,783 Not at all, you coffin cave mold beetle. 476 00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:33,089 [dramatic tango music playing] 477 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,830 - I meant our relationship. 478 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,266 Aren't you tired of the rivalry? 479 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:39,095 We fight and we fight, and nothing changes. 480 00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,662 But we're really not so different. 481 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,142 - I suppose we were close once. 482 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:44,187 Remember Brighton Beach? 483 00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:47,451 - 1,200 kilos of heroin in an abandoned subway tunnel. 484 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,800 How could I forget? 485 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:51,238 - The largest drug bust in NYPD history 486 00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:53,240 pulled off by a most unlikely duo. 487 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,633 - A woman, and a gay, black detective. 488 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:59,724 - No, I meant a human and a rotted jack-o'-lantern. 489 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:00,900 [piano flourish] 490 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,249 - Don't be so hard on yourself. 491 00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:05,556 You weren't all the way rotted back then. 492 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,949 [gasps] There's John Kelly. 493 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,733 Twirl me into him, and I'll place the bug. 494 00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,300 ♪ 495 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:13,086 Hello, John. - Right on time, Madeline. 496 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,958 Did Raymond buy it? Did he think you were bonding? 497 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,091 - He was smiling at me like an idiot. 498 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:22,095 - You've betrayed us, you coffin cave mole beetle! 499 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,835 - Okay, one more take. 500 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:26,142 Please stop saying, "Don't forget to like and subscribe." 501 00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,492 - Sure, but how we gonna get followers on this thing then? 502 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,059 - [sighs] - NYPD! 503 00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,495 NYPD! - What's going on? 504 00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:32,888 - What's going on is you're under arrest 505 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,890 for the kidnapping of Jason Stentley. 506 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,936 Kobe. 507 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,503 - But Kobe never passed. 508 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,115 . 509 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,682 - I can't go to prison. I couldn't even get through 510 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:45,596 the scary parts of the musical, "Chicago." 511 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,771 - Does anyone have a good lawyer? 512 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,164 - I got a divorce guy, an alimony guy, 513 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,384 a slip and fall guy, a pizza's too hot guy-- 514 00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:53,300 - Everybody just relax. We're not gonna go to prison. 515 00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:54,954 It's all gonna work out in the end. 516 00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,694 Should we play Celebrity? - Come on, man. 517 00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,131 - Yeah, come on, Terry. No one wants to play Celebrity-- 518 00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,046 the best game ever made-- but he does have a point. 519 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,612 Nothing bad is gonna happen to us. 520 00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:02,787 - Wrong! 521 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:03,963 You turds are about to get flushed. 522 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,703 Come on, Peralta. You're up first. 523 00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,053 Let's go. - Oh, cool. 524 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:09,577 So, I'm the first turd to be flushed. 525 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,318 Bye, you guys. What are you doing? 526 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,363 You were gonna get promoted out of Missing Persons. 527 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,712 - Your plan went to hell, tough guy. 528 00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,584 Wuntch--she came to me with a much better one. 529 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,542 Guess what she's giving me for betraying you? 530 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:19,935 My dream job-- captain of the-- 531 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,197 - 69th precinct. - Bingo. 532 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,764 - Look, you're not gonna get away with this. 533 00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,026 You were a part of the whole thing. 534 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,462 - First of all, Jake, there's no records 535 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:26,811 that you and I teamed up together 536 00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,465 because you insisted that we only communicate 537 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,250 through a beeper. - Stupid beepers. 538 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,903 We're right to be addicted to our phones. 539 00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,036 - Eyewitness saw you. The DNA's all over the scene. 540 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,126 And I caught you red-handed making a hostage video. 541 00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,519 Your [bleep] is cooked. 542 00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:39,824 - That's not a saying. It's "goose." 543 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,000 - Who cares about a goose? 544 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,436 I'm talking about cooking a penis. 545 00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:43,654 - All right, this is pointless. 546 00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,047 C.J. will just tell everyone the truth. 547 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,657 - No, he won't. I bought him off. 548 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,050 All I gotta do is play "Madden" with him. 549 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,834 - Come on, C.J. - Hey, you know what? 550 00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,227 I just beefed hard, so I'm gonna let you 551 00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,969 stew in here for a little while. I am loving it. 552 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,972 [laughs] Such a loser. 553 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,843 [door slams] - And this is rock bottom. 554 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,715 - Oh, Raymond. This is sad. 555 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,325 He's the one you think of like a son, right? 556 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,806 Or are you closer to Santiago? Not that it matters. 557 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,112 They're both equally going to prison. 558 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:08,853 - Oh, come on, Madeline. There's no need to gloat. 559 00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:10,725 [laughing] Though, it does feel good. 560 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:11,987 Gloaty, gloat, gloat. 561 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,989 - I knew I never should have trusted you. 562 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,036 - Yes, obviously not, you dum-dum. 563 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,863 John, you're gonna wanna remember this. 564 00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:20,300 Why don't you snap a photo of him? 565 00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,084 - Oh, yeah. 566 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,694 [shutter clicks] Yeah...[laughs] 567 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:24,826 - Why don't you get in there with him? 568 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,088 - Oh, why the heck not? 569 00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:28,047 My kids just got me a digital picture frame. 570 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,527 - All right, everybody say, "Nine-Nine." 571 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,833 - Nine-Nine. - Mm. 572 00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,965 Raymond, I love the scowl, 573 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,880 but could you slump your shoulders a bit more? 574 00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:38,927 Remember--you're a man who just lost everything. 575 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:41,756 And done. [phone jingles] 576 00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,629 We got it, Peralta. - Boom! 577 00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,066 Are they totally shocked? 578 00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,893 Is Kelly like, what just happened? 579 00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:51,070 - What just happened? - You've been had, John. 580 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:53,289 You see, when you handed me your own locked phone 581 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,856 just now to snap that photo, 582 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:56,727 I cloned it to a secure network server. 583 00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,251 - When you handed Wuntch your locked phone-- 584 00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,035 - Yeah, yeah. I already said that part. 585 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,863 - Sorry. I can't see or hear anything. 586 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,169 I'll just be quiet from now on. 587 00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:04,561 I might chime in with a, "Yeah!" here and there 588 00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,085 to stay in the mix. - Great. 589 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,782 The only way to get you to trust me is if you thought 590 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,479 I was betraying Holt. - Yeah! 591 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:12,134 - And now I have access to all your personal correspondence... 592 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,309 - All right! 593 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,919 - Including all stingray authorizations. 594 00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:17,096 It's over, Kelly. You're done. 595 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,227 - Okay. 596 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,924 You may have won this round, Madeline, 597 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,752 but you're gonna live to regret it. 598 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,233 You are both so gonna live to regret it. 599 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:26,105 - I agree with what was just said. 600 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,845 - Hey, Jake? I'm just gonna hold this down. 601 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:28,933 - Yeah, sounds good. Thank you. 602 00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,500 - When did you hatch this plan? 603 00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,241 - Peralta thought of it when I tried to quit the mission. 604 00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,069 - Hey, what's Holt's expression right now? 605 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,940 Would you describe it as, proud daddy? 606 00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:37,464 - It's hard to tell. 607 00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,030 He's still piecing it together. This could take a while. 608 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,946 - Why didn't you just tell me what was actually happening? 609 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,296 - I wanted to, sir, 610 00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:45,254 but it involved trusting Madeline Wuntch, 611 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,256 and I just didn't think you could handle it. 612 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,607 But I'm sorry that I lied to you. 613 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,740 Sir? Sir? 614 00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:53,915 Oh, no. Is he mad? 615 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:56,004 I can't see anything. Did he storm out? 616 00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,660 - No, I stormed in-- to tell you it was a great plan. 617 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:01,096 Nice work, Peralta. 618 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,968 - And there it is-- the proud daddy. 619 00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,754 - Well, well, well. Commissioner. 620 00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,277 - Still not used to hearing that. 621 00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,887 Of course, I'm only acting commissioner 622 00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,411 until they choose someone permanent. 623 00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:12,586 - Might well be you. 624 00:19:12,629 --> 00:19:14,762 After all, you brought down John Kelly. 625 00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:16,372 Wonder what he's doing now. 626 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,331 - He's got a much higher-paying job in the private sector. 627 00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:20,768 - Yes, the world is horrible. - Mm. 628 00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,813 - But then again, sometimes, it surprises you. 629 00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:26,034 This whole time, I thought you were up to something, 630 00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:28,819 but really, you just wanted what was right for the NYPD. 631 00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:30,604 - I did. 632 00:19:30,647 --> 00:19:33,998 But also, I was up to something. 633 00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,696 - Could I have everyone's attention? 634 00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,176 I know it's my last day, 635 00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:40,440 and I've been in denial about it all week. 636 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:41,832 And I still am. 637 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,660 So, I'm giving this toast for no reason. 638 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:44,879 Here's to nothing! [laughs] 639 00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,054 - You okay there, Ter? 640 00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:48,143 - It's just that, if I wasn't in denial, 641 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,971 I would be so depressed right now 642 00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:51,973 at the thought of leaving all of you. 643 00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:54,149 - Yeah, we'd be depressed too-- 644 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,760 if anything was happening, which it isn't. 645 00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:58,849 - Right, and I'm not gonna say that 646 00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:01,330 no matter what precinct number is on your uniform, 647 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,332 you will always be part of the Nine-Nine. 648 00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,856 - It means so much to me you aren't saying that right now. 649 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,902 - And I wanna say I'm not gonna miss you at all, 650 00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:09,425 you piece of crap. Good riddance. 651 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,210 - Pretty sure you're misreading the game here, Charles. 652 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:12,602 - Yeah. I see that now. 653 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,256 - To nothing. all: To nothing! 654 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,216 - Thanks, guys, but this sucks. - Terry, come on. 655 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,739 We're still gonna see you all the time. 656 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:19,914 I promise. 657 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,698 - You'll come visit me in Staten Island? 658 00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:24,135 - Yeah! Or, you know, 659 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:26,442 you can come to Brooklyn. There's seven of us, one of you, 660 00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,052 but we can iron out the details later. 661 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:29,271 - Nobody's going to Staten Island. 662 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,186 - Okay, damn, I get it. I'll come to you. 663 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,275 - No, you're staying here at the Nine-Nine. 664 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,929 I just talked to Madeline Wuntch. 665 00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:36,322 She's making a personnel change, 666 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,888 which frees up some room in the budget. 667 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,847 - Really? - What kind of personnel change? 668 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,849 - I told her that I'd only spent a month 669 00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,633 as a patrolman before I made detective. 670 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:45,069 She said that's against regulations 671 00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:48,899 and has decided to rectify the situation. 672 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,814 - Rectify it how? 673 00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:53,817 [whistle blowing] 674 00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:56,820 [Frank Sinatra's "That's Life"] 675 00:20:56,864 --> 00:21:02,913 ♪ 676 00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:06,003 - ♪ That's life - ♪ That's life 677 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:08,571 - ♪ That's what all the people say ♪ 678 00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:10,399 ♪ 679 00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,576 ♪ You're riding high in April ♪ 680 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:16,144 ♪ Shot down in May 681 00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:19,452 ♪ But I know I'm gonna change ♪ 682 00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:22,281 ♪ That tune 683 00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:23,760 ♪ When I... - Not a doctor. 684 00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:24,935 Shh. 685 00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:27,242 - Fremulon.