1 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,304 Great, big, nasty penises! 2 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,348 [Happy] Happily on previous... 3 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,184 -No one believes in me. -[all] We believe in you. 4 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,645 -[Angel] You're shot. -It's the heart attack I just had 5 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:24,023 that's got my attention. I got to join a spin class, eat more kale. 6 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:28,653 -Amanda, it's me. Where are you? -[Amanda] He's got her. It's him. 7 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,739 -Who has her? -[Amanda] Sonny Shine! 8 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:34,993 Amanda's a goddamn pit bull. She can take care of herself. 9 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,786 [screams] 10 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:40,457 The guy you're looking for... reminds me of a fellow we all knew, 11 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,208 ended up hanging himself. 12 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,962 He had a kid, that one, wound up institutionalized. 13 00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:50,175 I wonder some nights, where's that little boy now? 14 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:54,763 I know who's naughty and who's nice. You want to stay with me, don't you? 15 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,389 With my other nice kids? 16 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:59,017 You can't touch me, unless you believe in me. 17 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,393 [gulps and grunts] 18 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:04,439 What the hell am I? I'm an errand boy for psychopaths. 19 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:07,734 But once I get that password, those days are over. 20 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,986 We get Blue, we get your kid. 21 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:13,948 Maybe this is the moment I can stand for something other than just my own skin. 22 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,241 [Happy] Nick! Hurry! 23 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,036 -Hailey! -[Happy] Too late. She's gone. 24 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:24,000 [director] All right, Monkey Pants callbacks, August 16th. 25 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:25,460 All right, go ahead, slate it. 26 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:30,882 Uh, Benji Peters, ATP. I'm 5'4" and I'm auditioning for... 27 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:34,385 Really? You think we should put on our Monkey Pants? 28 00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:39,390 That sounds fun. You know what it means when we put on our Monkey Pants? 29 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:42,143 It means it's time to Monkey Dance! 30 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,855 [chuckles] Yeah! 31 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:50,360 Lenny Donnelly, 5' 6", I'm auditioning for... 32 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:53,613 It means it's time to Monkey Dance! 33 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:55,365 Oh! Oh! Oh! 34 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,242 Stop! Monkey time! 35 00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,035 [imitates monkey] 36 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,997 [director] Uh, excuse me, and you are? 37 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,333 Sheinberg, Louis J. 38 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,294 [director] I don't see you on our... 39 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,171 Excuse me, who are you repped by? 40 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,632 [exhales and inhales] 41 00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,300 [director] Mr. Sheinberg, is it? 42 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,510 [Sonny exhales deeply] 43 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,721 [glam rock music plays] 44 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:29,524 ♪ Ow! Don't wet your bed Take all your meds ♪ 45 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:33,194 ♪ Look, a woozy wainbow Inside your pretty heads ♪ 46 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,114 ♪ No more monkey pants I'll put you in a trance ♪ 47 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:39,868 ♪ Let's have some joie de vivre Just like they do in Paris, France ♪ 48 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:41,870 [director] Security! 49 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,832 [whoops manically] 50 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,542 No, no, no! Hey! 51 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:48,751 [laughs hysterically] 52 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:54,173 Choke on my pearls, you swine! This is the future! 53 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,218 I am... I am the future! 54 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,556 [phone vibrates] 55 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,984 [man] The kids are gone, Mr. Shine. 56 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,070 -All of them? -All of them. 57 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:24,913 [grunts angrily] 58 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:29,083 [Tazer, screams in pain] 59 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:34,088 Aw. Listen to you sing. You're a regular little Bitch Perfect. 60 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:40,553 ♪ Jingle Bells, knife your mother's guts Twist it all the way! Hey! ♪ 61 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,430 What was that? Hm? 62 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:46,351 [groans] I'll kill her, Merry. You're going to watch her die. 63 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,435 [Blue groans] 64 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,812 [chuckles] Oh, I don't think so. 65 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,397 [groans and chuckles] 66 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,941 But I'll tell you what. 67 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:56,611 I'll make sure to send an invite for her funeral to your cell at Riker's. 68 00:03:56,694 --> 00:04:00,531 You won't be unable to attend, of course, but feel free to send flowers. 69 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,743 Mm-hm. That's right. 70 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:09,249 Your leverage over me is resting peacefully in a body bag at County. 71 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,793 Worst Christmas ever, huh? 72 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,796 [screams in pain] 73 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:36,192 It is my fault. She believed in me and I failed. 74 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:41,698 Look at me, I'm fading away. My color, my coat... 75 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:45,535 I used to be as blue as a blueberry snow cone and now... 76 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,287 You're still very blue. 77 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,500 Holy shit! 78 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,253 [grunts and pants] 79 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:56,963 Can we make this quick? 80 00:04:57,046 --> 00:05:03,094 I plan on being at home in front of a crackling fire by Christmas morning. 81 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,555 [grunting] 82 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,725 -Where is he? -Saint Nick! 83 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:11,686 [grunting] 84 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,356 [groans] 85 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,485 Psycho Claus. Now, you're going to tell me where he is, or I'm going treat you like 86 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,739 my Christmas Day turkey, complete with lead pudding. 87 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,408 Oh, he took her, didn't he? 88 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,704 Well, he is a collector. I've known that for years. 89 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:33,124 You probably got a lifetime of psycho-sexual therapy bills 90 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:37,545 headed your way. That is... if she survives. 91 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,131 [grunts] 92 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,341 Nick, no, no. 93 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,511 Nick, I got something! I think I know how to find Santa! 94 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,765 -But, Nick, my plan involves torture. -[approaching siren] 95 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:55,188 [Happy] There once was a lonely little boy that talked to a sock... 96 00:05:55,980 --> 00:06:02,028 and an imaginary friend was born, but you left that little boy. Why? 97 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:06,240 I don't know what you're talking about. You're wasting your time. 98 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,326 -[Happy] Am I? -[turns on radio] 99 00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:11,579 [music: "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel] 100 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,689 Please! No! 101 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,943 I'm looking at you, I'm thinking... 102 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,987 footsies are just about the most ticklish things ever. 103 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,616 I wonder if that goes for stinky socks, too. 104 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,745 Sweet baby Jesus! 105 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,998 [giggles] Oh, no, no, please! Wait! 106 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:59,252 [giggles hysterically] 107 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:01,796 Please! 108 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:04,549 Was that as good for you as it was for me? 109 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,884 What kind of monster are you? 110 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,886 I'm an imaginary friend. 111 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,848 We're all imaginary friends, 112 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,435 a brother-and-sisterhood of strawberry frosting and dreams. 113 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:20,022 -And you've been a very bad sock. -No! 114 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:23,109 You abandoned your friend when he needed you the most. 115 00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:26,112 You left him alone with nothing but a little yarn, 116 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:31,200 a few buttons and the wackadoodle thoughts inside his head, didn't you? 117 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:42,211 I'm so ashamed! He saw things... 118 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,548 things no child should ever see. 119 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:49,510 They drugged him, locked him away. 120 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,929 I was all he had. 121 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,432 But he didn't stay locked up forever. 122 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:59,103 I kept thinking: "He'll grow up. He'll leave me behind." 123 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,189 But it never happened. 124 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:05,693 He didn't want to grow up... ever. 125 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,572 And then he started to hurt people. 126 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:14,076 I couldn't bear to watch what he did to them. 127 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,330 [exhales] So I ran. I ran away. 128 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:19,749 [sobs] 129 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:24,879 I know you all feel scared and abandoned. 130 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:28,216 The day always comes when our friends don't need us anymore. 131 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,385 But right now someone does need you. 132 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:35,389 This is your chance to do something, to have a purpose for maybe the last time! 133 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,518 We may have lost our friends, but we found each other! 134 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:43,773 Together, we can do things no one ever imagined. 135 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,983 We just have to believe. 136 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,902 We believe in you, Happy. 137 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,695 [all] We believe in you. 138 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:55,243 Now, tell us where he is. 139 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,244 [gulps] 140 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:11,884 [exhales] 141 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:19,976 Well, this has turned into a hot little mess, now, hasn't it? 142 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,145 [breathes heavily] 143 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:27,358 There is going to be some very unhappy goddamn campers, 144 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:30,319 when those packages don't show up on Christmas morning. 145 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,656 Hope you're pleased with yourself. 146 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,536 And, really? What's your daughter? 147 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,205 What's one little girl? 148 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,208 There'll be thousands more just like her in the audience tonight. 149 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,294 I mean, is it really worth all this? 150 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,590 I guess it's just a matter of perspective. 151 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:52,883 [breathes heavily] 152 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,552 You'll be erased. 153 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,555 This is the future and you're not a part of it. 154 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,891 I'm the future. 155 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,610 [breathes heavily] 156 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,988 [pants] Chi... 157 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,865 Children... [laughs] 158 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:20,536 "Chi... Children are the future." That's very good. [chuckles] 159 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,079 That's... Touché. 160 00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,582 Yeah, you're on a roll. 161 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:29,879 And soon to be in a hole. 162 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:33,799 Bam! 163 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:37,678 Mm. 164 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,977 Oh, it's a gift from the Sultan of something. 165 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,522 I'm going to go get dressed. 166 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,983 Remember? It's the Wishtacular. 167 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:56,238 It's tonight. At least one of us has something to look forward to. 168 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,786 I can clean up all this ugly stuff. 169 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:04,705 ["O, Tannenbaum" plays on radio] 170 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,750 They want you to look all grown up, but you're not grown up. 171 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,586 You're little. 172 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:14,757 Like you should be. Yeah. 173 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,468 Grownups... 174 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:23,516 They try to steal everything... that makes you special. 175 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,101 It makes me so mad. 176 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,312 -It makes... It makes me want to... -[groans] 177 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,482 Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 178 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,527 I'm sorry. 179 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,115 [inhales deeply and distant bang] 180 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,701 We have to go. 181 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,964 And here we are again. 182 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,841 [Happy] Come on, Nick! This way! 183 00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:01,095 I want to remind you we're here on the word of a sock puppet. I mean... 184 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,933 This whole thing just seems a little sketchy to me. 185 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,353 What I'm saying is this, uh... 186 00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:14,483 so-called intel source of yours... you sure he's on the level 187 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,694 and not blowing powdered sugar up your ass? 188 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:19,447 [Happy] Trust me, Nick. He was highly motivated. 189 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,491 -Ah. -This is it. 190 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,160 Mm. 191 00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,914 [sighs] All right. Show 'em to me. 192 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:34,503 So, you're telling me that this door leads to a dark subterranean lair... 193 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:38,048 [inhales] right underneath Gimbel Brothers, where shitty pants Santa, 194 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,802 whose neck I'm going to break when I find that son of a bitch, took my kid 195 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,930 and I am fully aware that I am talking to a unicorn, 196 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,767 but I got to tell you, even my credulity has its limits. 197 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,895 [creaking] 198 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,196 All right, then. 199 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,157 [sleigh bells jingle] 200 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,994 [exhales deeply] 201 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:13,083 [raucous laugh] 202 00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,129 [Hailey] Where are we going? 203 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,508 [grunts] 204 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,594 [breathes heavily] 205 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,554 Toyland. 206 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,685 Toyland. 207 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,480 [chuckles] 208 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,193 [grunts] 209 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,034 [grunts] 210 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,999 [music: "Toyland" plays] 211 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:57,920 Look. [chuckles] 212 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:03,592 ♪ Toyland, Toyland Little girl and boy land ♪ 213 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:09,306 ♪ Once you dwell within it You are ever happy then within it ♪ 214 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:13,060 ♪ Toyland, joy land ♪ 215 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,186 [chuckles] 216 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:18,023 ♪ Mystic, merry Toyland ♪ 217 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:23,779 ♪ Once you cross its borders You can never go back again ♪ 218 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,698 [chuckles] 219 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,871 [inhales and exhales] 220 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:41,130 [grunts and mumbles] 221 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,217 [grunts and pants] 222 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,387 [grunts and exhales] 223 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,689 I used to have a pretend friend. 224 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,569 Like you. 225 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,572 ["Toyland" plays] 226 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,657 [chuckles manically] 227 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,828 But now I have new friends. 228 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,498 So many friends. 229 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,062 [screams] 230 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,532 -[Merry] Mr. Shine. -Oh! God! 231 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:54,328 You look like a cruise ship got torpedoed with Liberace's corpse. 232 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,080 I don't know who you are. 233 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,876 But I'm not interested. Who let you in here? 234 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,336 [Merry] Backstage pass. 235 00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:07,341 [Sonny] Oh, you're a cop. I've been meaning to get to those parking tickets. 236 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,927 Just came from your studio, Sheinberg. 237 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:13,222 Don't have to tell you what we found there. 238 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,849 I have facilities all over. 239 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,852 I rent them out when I'm not in production, which I'm not. 240 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:23,899 [inhales] Russians, Chinese, Saudis. 241 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,152 God only knows what they do on those stages. 242 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:38,330 I've had cops before... sexually, I mean. 243 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:42,126 -It's over. -Excuse me? 244 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:46,714 All this. The Man Who Made Christmas, The Three Wishes Guy. 245 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:48,841 I'm bringing you down. 246 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,511 How cute. 247 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,056 Is there anything else I can help you with? 248 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,517 Yeah. Amanda Hansen. 249 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:04,690 [grunts] Is this about that delusional woman who showed up at my office today? 250 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:11,280 Yeah, she seemed to be suffering from some sort of... paranoid schizophrenic episode. 251 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,657 Probably something she saw on T.V. 252 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,992 Oh! 253 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,160 [grunts and giggles] 254 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,663 I'm no doctor. [mouths] 255 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:20,956 Where is she? 256 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,044 [grunts] 257 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,337 I get it. 258 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:30,132 You're untouchable. 259 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:33,635 You probably got the bad dirty on everyone who's anyone 260 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:37,848 all the way up the chain. You're like a nuclear reactor. 261 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:40,184 You go down, you bring everyone down with you. 262 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,644 I've got to be on stage in a few minutes. 263 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:50,694 It's the Sonny Shine Wishtacular. I'm sure you've heard of it. 264 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,155 We raise millions for disadvantaged children. 265 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,991 You can go on stage, wiggle your ass 266 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,244 and twinkle your toes for all of your adoring fans. 267 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:03,874 And then I'm going to drag you off in cuffs on live television. 268 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,586 It'll be as shitty as you looking right into those cameras 269 00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:10,339 and telling the whole world there ain't no Santa Claus. 270 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,592 I know you'll be out before the ink dries on your arrest report, 271 00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:19,181 but you'll be walking out to a wasteland formerly known as your career. 272 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,059 Hm. 273 00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:26,063 This Hansen woman, is this all you're asking for? Really? 274 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:27,940 For now. 275 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,984 You should stop by my tower. 276 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,988 You might find her there. I can't speak to her frame of mind. 277 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:40,828 Okay, you found your way in, now find your way out. 278 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,040 [blows] 279 00:18:58,929 --> 00:18:59,930 Shit. 280 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,351 [grunts] 281 00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:07,104 -Uh, Nick? -I got this. I got this. 282 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:09,940 [grunts] 283 00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,275 -Nick! -What? 284 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,359 Look! 285 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:21,743 Good eyes. 286 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,667 Nick! Look! 287 00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,465 It's hers! We're going in the right... 288 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,054 What the...? 289 00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,515 -It's a toy, Nick. -I know what it is. 290 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,976 Oh, he wants to play. 291 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:48,645 [chuckles] 292 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:51,356 [music: "The Little Boy that Santa Clause Forgot"] 293 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,025 [laughs manically] 294 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:59,156 [Happy] That's the biggest kid I ever saw. 295 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,699 That ain't no kid. 296 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,912 Man, see a dentist. 297 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,039 [slap of ball bouncing] 298 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:33,357 This is going to pinch... just a little. 299 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:36,860 You can be little forever... 300 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,656 like my other friends. 301 00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,712 [whirs] 302 00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,680 [grunts] 303 00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,598 [Hailey screams] 304 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,642 [yells angrily] 305 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,317 [screams softly] 306 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:18,902 Oh! 307 00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:22,447 [groans in pain] 308 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,700 Nick! Nick! 309 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:27,661 Hailey... [breathes heavily] 310 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:28,996 Find Hailey. 311 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,332 [breathes heavily and groans] 312 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:40,173 Oh, fuck. 313 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,259 [breathes heavily] 314 00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:46,888 No, thanks. 315 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,936 [breathes heavily and grunts] 316 00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:59,818 You can't do this to people! 317 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:00,861 [grunts] 318 00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:03,322 -Amanda, you all right? -[breathes heavily] 319 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,781 This is evil! 320 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,369 -Merry, they... -I know. 321 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,663 -They can't get away with this. -They can. 322 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:15,292 But not forever. 323 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:18,837 Nick's found Hailey. 324 00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:21,465 Come on. 325 00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:25,927 [grunts] 326 00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:30,182 [grunts] 327 00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:34,102 [Happy] Why don't you pick on someone your own size? 328 00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:43,153 Happy! You came back! 329 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:48,075 [snarls] 330 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,160 [roars] 331 00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:53,538 [Santa grunts] 332 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:56,541 [grunts and yells] 333 00:22:58,335 --> 00:22:59,544 Run! 334 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:02,714 [Santa grunts and yells] 335 00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,049 Hey! 336 00:23:06,093 --> 00:23:06,968 Fuck! 337 00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,347 [gasps and grunts] 338 00:23:12,432 --> 00:23:15,602 Oh, I just keep discovering bold new frontiers of suck. 339 00:23:15,685 --> 00:23:18,063 [inhales and grunts] 340 00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:20,273 God! 341 00:23:23,401 --> 00:23:24,653 [yells in pain] 342 00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:27,906 [grunting and groaning] 343 00:23:27,989 --> 00:23:29,241 No, no, no, no! 344 00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:31,701 [muffled grunts] 345 00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,541 [muffled yells] 346 00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:58,019 [pants] 347 00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,105 [clunking and whir of elevator] 348 00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:03,024 [Hailey screams] 349 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:06,278 [grunts] Argh! 350 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,911 -[grunts] -Stop! No! 351 00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:17,956 [grunts and roars] 352 00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:22,169 [evil cackle] 353 00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,382 [evil cackle] 354 00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:35,599 [yells manically] 355 00:24:35,682 --> 00:24:36,683 [grunts] 356 00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:38,476 [groans] 357 00:24:39,477 --> 00:24:41,479 [Hailey screams in distance] 358 00:24:44,399 --> 00:24:46,985 [breathes heavily and roars] 359 00:24:48,695 --> 00:24:50,322 [manic chuckles] 360 00:24:50,405 --> 00:24:52,240 [Hailey] Leave me alone! 361 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:56,077 [grunts and yells] 362 00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:04,502 Hm, minty. 363 00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:06,671 [Santa yells in distance] 364 00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:28,443 [sirens blare in distance] 365 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:43,500 [blaring sirens approaching] 366 00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:47,879 Help! Please! He's coming! Help! 367 00:25:49,589 --> 00:25:50,882 Help! 368 00:25:51,758 --> 00:25:53,134 Help! 369 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,638 Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. 370 00:25:57,389 --> 00:26:00,267 [wind whistles] 371 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,148 When my daddy went away... 372 00:26:08,858 --> 00:26:10,360 they made me grow up. 373 00:26:13,321 --> 00:26:14,739 Gave me medicine. 374 00:26:17,575 --> 00:26:19,411 I didn't want... I didn't want to... 375 00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,417 I didn't want to be scary. 376 00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:28,878 You don't have to be. 377 00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:32,215 No, but it's too late. 378 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:41,433 But I can save you. I can save you. [sniffles] 379 00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:45,228 I had to grow up, but you don't have to. 380 00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:48,481 [softly] You don't have to ever grow up. 381 00:26:55,071 --> 00:26:57,282 [breathes heavily] 382 00:26:58,199 --> 00:26:59,409 Hold my hand... 383 00:27:02,412 --> 00:27:05,707 and we will fly away together... 384 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:11,087 before the police get here. 385 00:27:12,547 --> 00:27:14,424 Before they see what I did. 386 00:27:16,217 --> 00:27:18,887 Come on. Take my hand. 387 00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:23,683 -Take my... -[distant bang] 388 00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:30,273 -[Hailey squeals] -[cop] No! 389 00:27:31,232 --> 00:27:32,817 [grunts] 390 00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:49,250 [wind whistles] 391 00:28:04,474 --> 00:28:05,517 Uh... 392 00:28:09,687 --> 00:28:11,106 Uh... It's all right. 393 00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:15,443 Um... I'm, uh... 394 00:28:18,154 --> 00:28:20,156 Well, I'm, uh... 395 00:28:21,324 --> 00:28:22,575 Uh... 396 00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:24,285 Happy sent me. 397 00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:26,329 Daddy? 398 00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:34,629 -Daddy! -[grunts] 399 00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:36,339 [both grunt] 400 00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:40,552 -[grunting] -What the... 401 00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:45,765 [grunting] 402 00:28:47,225 --> 00:28:49,227 I'm the spirit of Christmas. 403 00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,145 [grunting] 404 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,106 I've walked these rooftops for a long time! 405 00:28:53,189 --> 00:28:54,315 [grunting] 406 00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:57,527 The only thing that can hurt me is magic. 407 00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:04,617 [grunts] 408 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:08,121 -[grunts] -Hocus pocus, motherfucker. 409 00:29:08,204 --> 00:29:10,331 [grunting] 410 00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:16,755 [groans] Not now! 411 00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:18,506 Oh, not again! 412 00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:20,008 [Sax groans] 413 00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:23,261 [grunting] 414 00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:29,559 [grunting and gasping] 415 00:29:31,519 --> 00:29:34,564 You're not magic. They'll see. 416 00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:37,358 You can't even fly. 417 00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:39,736 Maybe not, but I can. 418 00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:50,079 And I brought friends. 419 00:29:58,588 --> 00:30:00,215 Cut him, Twig. 420 00:30:03,051 --> 00:30:04,177 [groans] 421 00:30:06,554 --> 00:30:08,848 Let's re-gift this fruitcake! 422 00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:11,309 [imaginary friends yell] 423 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,395 [grunting] 424 00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,147 [yelling and grunting] 425 00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:27,033 Daddy, are you okay? 426 00:30:27,116 --> 00:30:28,117 [groans] 427 00:30:28,201 --> 00:30:31,663 Pills, pocket, pills. 428 00:30:34,165 --> 00:30:35,041 [all yelling] 429 00:30:35,124 --> 00:30:37,335 [Happy] Hey! Hey, no, look out! 430 00:30:37,418 --> 00:30:39,420 -Look out! Look out! No! -[crunch] 431 00:30:45,802 --> 00:30:47,846 [grunting and yelling] 432 00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:51,224 Oh. Watch out! No! God! 433 00:30:52,892 --> 00:30:53,768 [Happy] No! 434 00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:02,861 [yelling and grunting] 435 00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:07,031 [snarls] 436 00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:08,825 Santa's coming! Santa's coming! 437 00:31:09,784 --> 00:31:13,246 I don't want to ruin Christmas for you, but there comes a time 438 00:31:13,329 --> 00:31:16,082 -when every kid has to face the truth. -[grunts] 439 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:19,127 There ain't no fuckin' Santa Claus. 440 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:20,211 [gunshot] 441 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:22,964 [music: "I'll Be Home For Christmas by Bing Crosby] 442 00:32:03,546 --> 00:32:04,756 [clears throat] 443 00:32:10,803 --> 00:32:12,180 [Sax grunts] 444 00:32:12,263 --> 00:32:13,848 [Hailey sobs softly] 445 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:17,685 I told Sonny Shine I only wanted one wish. 446 00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:18,853 [sobs] 447 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,897 I wanted to meet my dad. 448 00:32:24,567 --> 00:32:25,610 [sighs] 449 00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:41,626 [Sax grunts and breathes heavily] 450 00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:51,094 [Sax grunts and groans] 451 00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:55,807 Hailey! Hailey! 452 00:32:55,890 --> 00:32:59,811 -Mommy! -Oh, God. [sobs] Oh! 453 00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:00,979 Are you okay? 454 00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:07,402 [chattering on police radio in background] 455 00:33:10,196 --> 00:33:11,614 You were right. 456 00:33:15,201 --> 00:33:17,412 Another stocking on the mantle. 457 00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:20,164 You were right. 458 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:29,382 Maybe one weekend... 459 00:33:31,968 --> 00:33:33,428 We'll talk about it. 460 00:33:36,514 --> 00:33:37,724 That'd make me happy. 461 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,490 [Happy] You definitely deserve a nap, buddy. 462 00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:57,618 We did it, Nick! I never stopped believing in you. 463 00:33:57,702 --> 00:33:59,078 [breathes heavily] 464 00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:01,497 Likewise. 465 00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:08,880 But this ain't no nap. This is bye-bye. 466 00:34:09,589 --> 00:34:13,259 What do you mean? No! Nick! Nick, we won! 467 00:34:13,342 --> 00:34:14,844 Yeah, we did. 468 00:34:18,431 --> 00:34:19,515 Thanks to you... 469 00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:22,727 partner. 470 00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:28,983 Cue the music. 471 00:34:31,694 --> 00:34:33,112 And... 472 00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:37,492 fade to black. 473 00:34:47,293 --> 00:34:48,294 [soft grunt] 474 00:34:54,425 --> 00:34:57,095 [Merry] I was starting to get used to you being dead. 475 00:34:57,762 --> 00:35:01,891 Yeah, I always thought I'd prefer it, but now... 476 00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:06,604 I may just stick around, see how it plays out. 477 00:35:07,438 --> 00:35:10,608 -Got some good news for you and the fam. -Yeah? 478 00:35:10,691 --> 00:35:12,902 Word on the street is when Nick Sax died, 479 00:35:12,985 --> 00:35:15,196 he took Blue's so-called password with him. 480 00:35:17,698 --> 00:35:19,033 Word on the street? 481 00:35:19,617 --> 00:35:21,994 Your heart stopped for eight minutes. 482 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,080 Mm. That's impressive. 483 00:35:25,331 --> 00:35:26,415 I thought I... 484 00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:29,919 I thought I finally got rid of you. 485 00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:35,925 Anyway... you know, if I were you, I would take advantage of my new reputation, 486 00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:37,635 lay low for a while. 487 00:35:37,718 --> 00:35:40,763 -I hear California's nice. -California? 488 00:35:41,347 --> 00:35:45,184 It's not my kind of dirty. Besides, I hate avocados. 489 00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:48,563 How's your kid holding up? 490 00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:55,653 She's going to be all right. She's tough... like her mom. 491 00:35:56,737 --> 00:36:00,950 [inhales and sighs] You know, this world may not be all glitter and tinsel, 492 00:36:01,033 --> 00:36:03,619 but there are a few people in it that make it work. 493 00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:07,331 [sighs] 494 00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:09,834 You're one of 'em. 495 00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:14,046 You know what you did, right? 496 00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:27,101 You gave me my daughter, Mer. 497 00:36:31,939 --> 00:36:33,149 You're my hero. 498 00:36:38,779 --> 00:36:41,157 -You don't get to take that one back. -I don't want it. 499 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:42,867 -Good, I'm keeping it. -Keep it. 500 00:36:42,950 --> 00:36:44,076 I will. 501 00:36:46,245 --> 00:36:47,288 [grunts softly] 502 00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:51,834 All right, see you round the block. 503 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,422 -Where are you going? -Uh, I got a date. 504 00:36:56,505 --> 00:36:58,216 -Oh? -I'm going to... 505 00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:03,346 I don't know, go out to Coney Island, grab some ice cream. 506 00:37:03,429 --> 00:37:06,891 -It's winter. -Yeah, I'm new to this. What do I know? 507 00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:10,144 If that's the case, you might want to slap a little aftershave on. 508 00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:11,896 You smell like you murdered a hooker. 509 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,106 [sniffs] That obvious? 510 00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:16,317 Thanks. 511 00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:22,657 [sighs] Nick was right. I look completely ridiculous. 512 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,325 Is my nose really that big? 513 00:37:24,408 --> 00:37:26,994 It's the cutest, funniest nose I ever saw. 514 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:31,249 I just wanted to say, 515 00:37:31,332 --> 00:37:35,169 I'm so glad I got the chance to be your imaginary friend, Hailey. 516 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:39,215 I had no idea it would be so much fun! And scary too! 517 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:42,677 Happy, you look different. 518 00:37:43,886 --> 00:37:45,888 How come I can see through you? 519 00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:52,853 It's because... Well, you're growing up and you have your daddy now. 520 00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:57,108 And someday you'll forget all about that silly horse. 521 00:37:57,191 --> 00:38:01,237 But you're my best friend... even if you are imaginary. 522 00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:03,739 Why do you have to go? 523 00:38:03,823 --> 00:38:06,409 Well, that's how it is with imaginary friends. 524 00:38:06,492 --> 00:38:08,077 We can't stay forever. 525 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:12,290 Otherwise, it can get a bit, you know, creepy. 526 00:38:12,873 --> 00:38:17,003 Where will you go... if nobody needs you anymore? 527 00:38:17,086 --> 00:38:20,256 Oh, I don't know. Somewhere fun. I hope! I... 528 00:38:20,339 --> 00:38:23,342 And who knows, maybe there is someone who needs me somewhere! 529 00:38:23,926 --> 00:38:27,138 Come to think of it, I'd better practice my song. 530 00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:32,435 ♪ I'm Happy, the happy horse, horse, horse ♪ 531 00:38:32,518 --> 00:38:34,562 ♪ So full of fun, of course, of course ♪ 532 00:38:35,062 --> 00:38:37,857 ♪ It's plain to see It's fun to be happy ♪ 533 00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:39,608 [Hailey] Happy! 534 00:38:39,692 --> 00:38:44,113 ♪ The happy horse, horse, horse So full of, full of love, of... course ♪ 535 00:38:44,196 --> 00:38:45,573 ♪ Of course ♪ 536 00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:56,667 I'll never forget you. 537 00:38:59,211 --> 00:39:02,465 Come on, sweetheart. Let's go meet your dad. 538 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,395 [breathes heavily] 539 00:39:16,479 --> 00:39:18,481 Come on, Sax. You got this. 540 00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:24,820 It's a movie. You just... sit down. 541 00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:28,074 You don't even have to talk. 542 00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,368 Oh, boy, this is worse than I thought. 543 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:33,204 -What the hell? -Talking to yourself, buddy? 544 00:39:33,287 --> 00:39:35,956 -People are gonna think you're cray-cray. -Why are you here? 545 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,459 Nick, I can't abandon you in your darkest hour! 546 00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:40,294 What kind of partner is that? 547 00:39:42,171 --> 00:39:45,341 What are you talk...? [chuckles] 548 00:39:45,424 --> 00:39:48,886 What... My darkest hour? You said it yourself, we won. 549 00:39:48,969 --> 00:39:52,681 We killed the bad guy. We saved the kid. You been nipping at the cough syrup? 550 00:39:52,765 --> 00:39:56,143 I've never felt so solid in all my life. I'm a... 551 00:39:56,685 --> 00:40:02,316 I'm a goddamn royal flush. I'm a... I'm the white knight. 552 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,653 I'm... I'm the hero that she always thought I was. 553 00:40:05,736 --> 00:40:07,530 I'm... I'm terrified, man. 554 00:40:07,613 --> 00:40:10,574 I don't know what I'm... I don't know what I'm doing! 555 00:40:10,658 --> 00:40:14,245 -I don't even know how to talk to her! -There, there, buddy. I got you. 556 00:40:14,328 --> 00:40:17,039 I know everything about Hailey, all her secret hopes, dreams. 557 00:40:17,123 --> 00:40:20,167 You know everything. You know everything. I don't know nothing! 558 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:23,629 I'm... I know nothing about being a dad. 559 00:40:23,712 --> 00:40:26,424 You're just going to do what comes naturally. 560 00:40:28,217 --> 00:40:31,846 What comes... What comes naturally. Well... [breathes heavily] 561 00:40:31,929 --> 00:40:34,807 Dismemberment comes naturally to me! What are you doing? 562 00:40:34,890 --> 00:40:38,144 You're Hailey's little buddy! Go bother her. 563 00:40:38,227 --> 00:40:41,605 -But... Well, about that, see... -Whoa, man. 564 00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:44,859 See, the thing about imaginary friends is, 565 00:40:44,942 --> 00:40:48,112 we're kind of supposed to help out the person who needs us the most. 566 00:40:48,195 --> 00:40:49,196 [sighs] 567 00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:53,367 What? You... [grunts softly] 568 00:40:55,327 --> 00:40:56,328 Uh... 569 00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:58,706 Uh... Did... 570 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:02,042 Did... Did... Did... 571 00:41:02,918 --> 00:41:06,088 Did you... Are you saying what I think you're saying? 572 00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:08,757 -Here it comes! -Yeah, it is. 573 00:41:08,841 --> 00:41:10,426 Here comes the fun! 574 00:41:10,509 --> 00:41:12,470 -Oh, boy, here it comes. -Are you ready? 575 00:41:12,553 --> 00:41:13,762 [vomits] 576 00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:17,057 I think someone needs a little shot of liquid courage, 577 00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:20,352 or maybe a bump of booger sugar, right? 578 00:42:07,024 --> 00:42:12,112 Michelangelo... I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see you again. 579 00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:15,157 Blue. 580 00:42:15,241 --> 00:42:16,617 Mm-hm. 581 00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:22,540 Now, have you finally brought me that which is mine? 582 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:34,134 [exhales deeply] 583 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,019 [grunts] 584 00:42:44,103 --> 00:42:47,439 [screaming and groaning] 585 00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:50,442 [grunts and groans] 586 00:42:52,486 --> 00:42:56,699 [groans in pain] 587 00:42:56,782 --> 00:42:59,618 [exhales deeply] 588 00:42:59,702 --> 00:43:00,828 Mr. Scaramucci? 589 00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:04,331 You all right? 590 00:43:08,002 --> 00:43:09,962 [pants softly] 591 00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:13,799 I'm hungry.