1
00:00:00,346 --> 00:00:02,267
Happily on previous...
2
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:03,485
[REVERSED AUDIO]
3
00:00:03,487 --> 00:00:05,531
[SHRIEKING]
4
00:00:05,533 --> 00:00:07,359
[ALL SHRIEKING]
5
00:00:07,361 --> 00:00:08,925
I wanna know about the big announcement
6
00:00:08,927 --> 00:00:11,102
that your show is being canceled.
7
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This is not an end!
8
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The show will go on!
9
00:00:16,544 --> 00:00:17,891
[VIDEO REWINDING]
10
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:20,111
- [GROANS]
- Bingo!
11
00:00:20,113 --> 00:00:23,157
I really wish things were
the way they used to be.
12
00:00:23,159 --> 00:00:25,159
Yeah, I'm back.
13
00:00:25,161 --> 00:00:27,944
[SCREAMING]
14
00:00:27,946 --> 00:00:30,469
Where's our fucking daughter?
15
00:00:30,471 --> 00:00:31,687
Penis.
16
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BOTH: ♪ Put on a happy, happy, happy ♪
17
00:00:33,865 --> 00:00:35,952
- [CHILDREN CHEERING]
- Sonny!
18
00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:37,258
[HOLLERING]
19
00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:38,651
What do I know?
20
00:00:38,653 --> 00:00:41,697
Except exactly where Hailey is.
21
00:00:41,699 --> 00:00:43,830
- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]
22
00:00:43,832 --> 00:00:45,745
Here's daddy destruction.
23
00:00:45,747 --> 00:00:47,877
[YELLING]
24
00:00:47,879 --> 00:00:51,794
You can never get back
what was stolen from you,
25
00:00:51,796 --> 00:00:55,885
but you can make the world more correct.
26
00:00:55,887 --> 00:00:58,366
- [MOANING]
- Later, sucker.
27
00:00:58,368 --> 00:00:59,715
[SLOW-MOTION YELLING]
28
00:00:59,717 --> 00:01:01,413
You want me to inject him?
29
00:01:01,415 --> 00:01:03,676
In the buttocks, please.
30
00:01:03,678 --> 00:01:06,635
The world is not correct.
31
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[GROOVY MUSIC]
32
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[MOANING]
33
00:01:10,554 --> 00:01:14,295
We both know this doesn't
end until one of us is dead.
34
00:01:14,297 --> 00:01:16,645
Absolutely.
35
00:01:16,647 --> 00:01:19,866
But there are much
worse things than dead.
36
00:01:19,868 --> 00:01:25,567
♪ I'll have a blue ♪
37
00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:27,917
♪ Christmas ♪
38
00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:32,531
♪ Without you ♪
39
00:01:32,533 --> 00:01:37,231
♪ I'll be so blue ♪
40
00:01:37,233 --> 00:01:42,932
♪ Just thinking about you ♪
41
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:45,935
Buy you another?
42
00:01:45,937 --> 00:01:47,894
Your glory hole is somewhere else, pal.
43
00:01:47,896 --> 00:01:49,330
I don't swallow.
44
00:01:49,332 --> 00:01:50,679
Oh.
45
00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:52,507
I'm sorry, you're
clearly not the Nick Sax
46
00:01:52,509 --> 00:01:55,684
that I've heard of, then.
47
00:01:55,686 --> 00:01:58,513
- Blue Scaramu...
- I know who you are.
48
00:01:58,515 --> 00:02:00,341
♪ ♪
49
00:02:00,343 --> 00:02:02,300
I just don't want what you're selling.
50
00:02:02,302 --> 00:02:04,824
Wise not to trust anyone.
51
00:02:04,826 --> 00:02:08,480
Oh, they set you up good, Sax.
52
00:02:08,482 --> 00:02:12,875
Cops going cannibal on cops.
53
00:02:12,877 --> 00:02:15,704
Ain't that a sorry state
of internal affairs?
54
00:02:15,706 --> 00:02:17,358
One for my friend.
55
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,055
Double, please.
56
00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:22,450
Tell my new friend I
don't have any friends.
57
00:02:22,452 --> 00:02:24,974
Just pour his into mine.
58
00:02:24,976 --> 00:02:26,715
Oh...
59
00:02:26,717 --> 00:02:30,023
you know what, give me
a little glass of, um...
60
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:32,547
maraschino cherries.
61
00:02:32,549 --> 00:02:35,811
♪ ♪
62
00:02:35,813 --> 00:02:37,683
"New York's Finest".
63
00:02:37,685 --> 00:02:41,643
Christ, look what they did to you.
64
00:02:41,645 --> 00:02:43,515
You're like a...
65
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:46,387
lonely pube...
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00:02:46,389 --> 00:02:49,608
on the rim of a urinal.
67
00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:53,568
Cast off, forgotten.
68
00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:55,396
Clinging for dear life.
69
00:02:55,398 --> 00:02:56,958
You know, you put those words to music,
70
00:02:56,982 --> 00:02:58,530
you could have yourself a hit there.
71
00:02:58,532 --> 00:03:01,359
Now, as pertaining to
my prior employment,
72
00:03:01,361 --> 00:03:03,970
they didn't do anything to me
that I hadn't already earned
73
00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:05,450
twenty times over.
74
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:08,888
And now they're gonna plant blow?
75
00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:11,282
Good on them.
76
00:03:11,284 --> 00:03:18,291
♪ ♪
77
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[SIGHS]
78
00:03:22,599 --> 00:03:23,946
Okay.
79
00:03:23,948 --> 00:03:26,340
Fedore Pavlov, "The Dog Whisperer".
80
00:03:26,342 --> 00:03:28,473
Yeah, so, besides a
double-digit body count,
81
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:31,432
what did he do, steal your tricycle?
82
00:03:31,434 --> 00:03:33,782
That's one sour cherry.
83
00:03:33,784 --> 00:03:35,610
Well, he's a slippery motherfucker.
84
00:03:35,612 --> 00:03:37,308
We tried to put him away for years.
85
00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:38,961
There's your mistake.
86
00:03:38,963 --> 00:03:43,444
Man like this, one
does not put him away.
87
00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:46,534
One puts him in the ground.
88
00:03:46,536 --> 00:03:48,841
[TCHAIKOVSKY'S "DANCE
OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY"]
89
00:03:48,843 --> 00:03:52,627
And who better than Nick Sax to do so?
90
00:03:52,629 --> 00:03:55,587
You played by their rules long enough.
91
00:03:55,589 --> 00:03:57,632
Now, look.
92
00:03:57,634 --> 00:04:00,331
Look what it's gotten you.
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♪ ♪
94
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Work for me.
95
00:04:12,649 --> 00:04:15,868
Embrace your manifest destiny
96
00:04:15,870 --> 00:04:19,045
as judge, jury...
97
00:04:19,047 --> 00:04:20,829
♪ ♪
98
00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:24,659
And executioner.
99
00:04:24,661 --> 00:04:27,009
And maybe even have a little fun
100
00:04:27,011 --> 00:04:29,664
while you're at it.
101
00:04:29,666 --> 00:04:31,971
♪ ♪
102
00:04:31,973 --> 00:04:34,103
[OMINOUS OVERTONE]
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Nick.
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Nick.
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00:04:37,413 --> 00:04:39,848
- Nick!
- Wake up, Nick!
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00:04:39,850 --> 00:04:44,070
I'm okay, I'm... I'm just a little...
107
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[GRUNTS]
108
00:04:46,379 --> 00:04:48,379
[SINISTER MUSIC]
109
00:04:48,381 --> 00:04:51,425
- Real talk.
- Hmm?
110
00:04:51,427 --> 00:04:54,689
That's some good shit, Smoothie.
111
00:04:54,691 --> 00:04:57,736
♪ ♪
112
00:04:57,738 --> 00:04:59,390
I wouldn't, if I were you.
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I need him alive.
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Not you.
115
00:05:03,396 --> 00:05:07,833
♪ ♪
116
00:05:07,835 --> 00:05:10,052
- Let's go.
- [GROANS]
117
00:05:10,054 --> 00:05:14,492
♪ Ooh-ooh, Sonny ♪
118
00:05:14,494 --> 00:05:18,539
♪ Ooh, Sonny Shine ♪
119
00:05:18,541 --> 00:05:21,542
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
120
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[CHILDREN CHATTERING]
121
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♪ ♪
122
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[SCANNER BEEPING]
123
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[WAND WARBLING]
124
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♪ ♪
125
00:05:49,029 --> 00:05:51,572
This way to your seat, Ms. Hansen.
126
00:05:51,574 --> 00:05:54,575
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
127
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♪ ♪
128
00:06:12,943 --> 00:06:15,944
[ALL LAUGHING]
129
00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:18,949
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER, LAUGHTER]
130
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,520
Ah! [GROANS]
131
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Hey, cool it with the rough stuff.
132
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Hey!
133
00:06:30,308 --> 00:06:32,221
No!
134
00:06:32,223 --> 00:06:34,615
[LOCK CLICKING]
135
00:06:34,617 --> 00:06:37,009
[PANTING]
136
00:06:37,011 --> 00:06:40,012
[FOREBODING MUSIC]
137
00:06:40,014 --> 00:06:43,319
♪ ♪
138
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,626
[GASPS]
139
00:06:45,628 --> 00:06:51,153
♪ ♪
140
00:06:51,155 --> 00:06:54,156
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
141
00:06:54,158 --> 00:07:01,165
♪ ♪
142
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:05,820
What kind...
143
00:07:05,822 --> 00:07:11,826
♪ ♪
144
00:07:11,828 --> 00:07:14,046
What kind of evil...
145
00:07:14,048 --> 00:07:21,055
♪ ♪
146
00:07:38,202 --> 00:07:39,375
Feels great.
147
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:41,334
A teeny bit tight, is all.
148
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,684
I guess the costume was
made for a little guy.
149
00:07:43,686 --> 00:07:45,686
Mm, don't worry about that.
150
00:07:45,688 --> 00:07:47,732
- You've studied the script?
- Yes, sir.
151
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,212
Me good, you evil.
152
00:07:50,214 --> 00:07:52,418
- Blah, blah, blah.
- And then you kick my ass.
153
00:07:52,421 --> 00:07:54,173
Then I kick your ass, correct.
154
00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:56,654
Right, about that part.
155
00:07:56,656 --> 00:07:58,830
We ain't really ever gone over that.
156
00:07:58,832 --> 00:08:00,222
Improv.
157
00:08:00,224 --> 00:08:02,531
I make my entrance, you follow my lead.
158
00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:06,751
I defeat you, I save Easter.
159
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,187
Where is the disconnect?
160
00:08:08,189 --> 00:08:09,928
Uh, the other part.
161
00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:11,582
The part where I gotta, you know.
162
00:08:11,584 --> 00:08:14,018
We've been over this a bazillion times.
163
00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:16,064
I know, but shouldn't
there be some kind of way
164
00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:17,413
we can fake it?
165
00:08:17,415 --> 00:08:19,067
The blood and guts and all?
166
00:08:19,069 --> 00:08:21,722
You know, like some
kind of Hollywood magic?
167
00:08:21,724 --> 00:08:23,898
No.
168
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:26,945
You cornfed...
169
00:08:26,947 --> 00:08:28,337
cornhole.
170
00:08:28,339 --> 00:08:29,904
[TENSE MUSIC]
171
00:08:29,906 --> 00:08:31,297
It has to be real.
172
00:08:31,299 --> 00:08:33,734
That's what people want now. Reality.
173
00:08:33,736 --> 00:08:36,452
But I ain't even skinned a
possum before, Mr. Shine.
174
00:08:38,611 --> 00:08:42,438
You said you would do
anything to succeed.
175
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,225
Right?
176
00:08:46,357 --> 00:08:48,401
A... and then...
177
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,621
the other part, where it says
178
00:08:50,623 --> 00:08:53,449
"the evil dies tonight",
179
00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:55,930
guess that means I ain't coming back.
180
00:08:55,932 --> 00:08:58,454
That's the best part.
181
00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:00,718
Yeah, Evil Bunny... Evil Bunny makes
182
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,111
a death-defying escape
only to fight another day
183
00:09:03,113 --> 00:09:06,027
as Sonny Shine's very big, very bad,
184
00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:07,942
ultra-arch "villy".
185
00:09:07,944 --> 00:09:09,641
- A recurring role!
- [GROWLS]
186
00:09:09,644 --> 00:09:10,989
[DOOR ALARM CHIRPING]
187
00:09:10,991 --> 00:09:14,079
Uh, give... give me a second!
188
00:09:14,081 --> 00:09:17,082
Okay, get out.
189
00:09:17,084 --> 00:09:20,694
Remember, this is our secret.
190
00:09:20,696 --> 00:09:25,046
Our own J.J. Abrams super plot twist.
191
00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:27,179
J.J. Abrams.
192
00:09:27,181 --> 00:09:29,966
[DOOR ALARM CHIRPS]
193
00:09:33,796 --> 00:09:35,100
Sonny.
194
00:09:35,102 --> 00:09:38,407
I'd like you to meet a
very special little girl.
195
00:09:38,409 --> 00:09:41,410
[SINISTER MUSIC]
196
00:09:41,412 --> 00:09:48,419
♪ ♪
197
00:09:57,994 --> 00:10:00,821
Best seats in the house.
198
00:10:00,823 --> 00:10:04,172
Oh, oh.
199
00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:05,783
Look.
200
00:10:05,785 --> 00:10:09,525
For a special occasion.
201
00:10:09,527 --> 00:10:12,790
Oh, oh, oops! [LAUGHING]
202
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:14,835
Maybe I'm getting a little too excited.
203
00:10:14,837 --> 00:10:16,184
- Oh, you thirsty?
- Yes.
204
00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:17,610
Yes, thirsty.
205
00:10:17,613 --> 00:10:19,840
Here we go. Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty?
206
00:10:19,842 --> 00:10:21,233
No, no, no, oh.
207
00:10:21,235 --> 00:10:23,801
Oh, no, you don't.
208
00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:26,760
No, because the alcohol,
209
00:10:26,762 --> 00:10:30,024
it will dilute the drug
running through your system
210
00:10:30,026 --> 00:10:33,158
and we can't have that.
211
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,247
No. [GASPS]
212
00:10:35,249 --> 00:10:37,510
Oops, oh. Oh, boy.
213
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:38,990
Big bottle.
214
00:10:38,992 --> 00:10:40,426
Yes. [GASPS]
215
00:10:40,428 --> 00:10:41,949
[SPLUTTERS]
216
00:10:41,951 --> 00:10:44,517
Look at you.
217
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:48,869
Every fiber of that adorable little face
218
00:10:48,871 --> 00:10:52,090
screaming for murder.
219
00:10:52,092 --> 00:10:53,961
Sonny.
220
00:10:53,963 --> 00:10:57,095
This is your new soloist, Hailey Hansen.
221
00:10:57,097 --> 00:10:58,400
New soloist?
222
00:10:58,402 --> 00:11:01,055
What happened to Tatiana?
223
00:11:01,057 --> 00:11:03,884
She was deported back to Uzbekistan,
224
00:11:03,886 --> 00:11:05,930
but didn't you hear me?
225
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,540
Hailey Hansen.
226
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:11,283
Survivor of the terrible mass
kidnappings last Christmas.
227
00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:12,937
♪ ♪
228
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,504
I see.
229
00:11:15,506 --> 00:11:18,727
Will you excuse us for a moment?
230
00:11:21,469 --> 00:11:25,863
Isn't she the kid of you-know-who?
231
00:11:25,865 --> 00:11:27,778
Mm. [SNIFFS]
232
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,215
You could look at it that way.
233
00:11:30,217 --> 00:11:34,264
Or, she's a celebrity victim.
234
00:11:36,092 --> 00:11:39,224
Put her on a pedestal.
235
00:11:39,226 --> 00:11:42,575
Give her a magical moment.
236
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:47,408
People love a good resurrection story.
237
00:11:49,115 --> 00:11:50,931
Does she know the words to the music?
238
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:53,327
Oh, every octave.
239
00:11:55,545 --> 00:11:57,154
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]
240
00:11:57,157 --> 00:11:59,331
- [CHUCKLES]
- Yes, yes, yes.
241
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:02,290
[CLICKS TONGUE] Let's see.
242
00:12:02,292 --> 00:12:05,467
♪ ♪
243
00:12:05,469 --> 00:12:07,948
Of all the little double-X chromosomes
244
00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:10,342
in all the land,
245
00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:13,475
why do you think you deserve
to be onstage with me?
246
00:12:13,477 --> 00:12:16,609
♪ ♪
247
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,393
If she's gonna freeze up now,
248
00:12:18,395 --> 00:12:21,048
she's gonna piss ice
cubes on that stage.
249
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,572
♪ ♪
250
00:12:23,574 --> 00:12:26,271
It's okay, Hailey.
251
00:12:26,273 --> 00:12:28,012
Now, you tell Sonny Shine
252
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:30,231
why you're saving the real fireworks
253
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,190
for the show tonight.
254
00:12:32,192 --> 00:12:34,496
The big event.
255
00:12:34,498 --> 00:12:40,851
♪ ♪
256
00:12:40,853 --> 00:12:42,417
Mr. Shine?
257
00:12:42,419 --> 00:12:45,943
I've dreamed of this
moment since I was little.
258
00:12:45,945 --> 00:12:48,075
Honestly, this has been the worst year
259
00:12:48,077 --> 00:12:49,598
of my entire life.
260
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,688
Christmas was ruined forever.
261
00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:56,344
But you know who got me through it all?
262
00:12:56,346 --> 00:12:57,606
You.
263
00:12:57,608 --> 00:13:00,305
I made one wish and it came true.
264
00:13:00,307 --> 00:13:02,960
I'm with you, my hero.
265
00:13:02,962 --> 00:13:04,657
Sonny Shine.
266
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:07,181
Any kid would kill to be where I am.
267
00:13:07,183 --> 00:13:09,357
[GENTLE MUSIC]
268
00:13:09,359 --> 00:13:12,056
I want you...
269
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:15,363
to say all of that...
270
00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:17,191
tonight...
271
00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:20,368
on camera...
272
00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:21,717
to the world.
273
00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:23,328
Okay?
274
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:26,113
Absolutely, Mr. Shine.
275
00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:29,377
Paint my pickle.
276
00:13:29,379 --> 00:13:33,077
Hailey Hansen. [SPITS]
277
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:35,383
Welcome aboard.
278
00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:38,084
♪ ♪
279
00:13:39,791 --> 00:13:43,000
[SINISTER MUSIC]
280
00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:46,004
[MUFFLED CHATTERING]
281
00:13:46,006 --> 00:13:49,572
♪ ♪
282
00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:51,923
- [LIGHTS CLICK]
- [CHILDREN SCREAMING]
283
00:13:51,925 --> 00:13:54,534
Coming to living rooms and home theaters
284
00:13:54,536 --> 00:13:57,537
of nearly 100 million
sundrops around the world,
285
00:13:57,539 --> 00:14:00,339
broadcast in 147 different countries,
286
00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:03,891
in 25 languages, including
six dialects of Arabic,
287
00:14:03,893 --> 00:14:06,981
the moment you've been
waiting for all year,
288
00:14:06,983 --> 00:14:10,637
it's Sonny Shine's Easter Eggtacular!
289
00:14:10,639 --> 00:14:12,030
ALL: Sonny! Sonny!
290
00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:14,902
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
291
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:17,992
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
292
00:14:17,994 --> 00:14:25,001
♪ ♪
293
00:14:26,916 --> 00:14:29,917
Are we making Easter great again?
294
00:14:29,919 --> 00:14:30,918
[ALL CHEERING]
295
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,225
Yeah! [LAUGHING]
296
00:14:33,227 --> 00:14:35,724
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
297
00:14:35,727 --> 00:14:37,969
Sundrops!
298
00:14:37,971 --> 00:14:40,580
♪ Sundrops ♪
299
00:14:40,582 --> 00:14:43,235
- I love you all.
- I love you, Sonny!
300
00:14:43,237 --> 00:14:46,499
And why wouldn't you?
301
00:14:46,501 --> 00:14:48,240
Why wouldn't you?
302
00:14:48,242 --> 00:14:52,070
You know, I had planned a
big bump and grind number
303
00:14:52,072 --> 00:14:54,724
for the opening of tonight's show.
304
00:14:54,726 --> 00:14:57,118
Something strange
305
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,599
and darkly sexy.
306
00:14:59,601 --> 00:15:03,820
With my wonderful Wishees, of course.
307
00:15:03,822 --> 00:15:06,823
But then I thought,
308
00:15:06,825 --> 00:15:09,609
this moment's not about me.
309
00:15:09,611 --> 00:15:13,047
This moment is about you!
310
00:15:13,049 --> 00:15:14,614
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
311
00:15:14,616 --> 00:15:18,792
Your voice, not mine!
312
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:21,751
Is there some...
313
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:25,625
special someone out there...
314
00:15:25,627 --> 00:15:27,975
who will give me their voice?
315
00:15:27,977 --> 00:15:30,543
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
316
00:15:30,545 --> 00:15:32,023
Yes!
317
00:15:32,025 --> 00:15:34,199
My, my, my, yes!
318
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,896
Is it you?
319
00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,854
No, it's not you.
320
00:15:37,856 --> 00:15:39,900
Up there in the cheapies?
321
00:15:39,902 --> 00:15:42,120
No.
322
00:15:42,122 --> 00:15:44,992
Absolutely not you.
323
00:15:44,994 --> 00:15:46,515
Me, Sonny! Me!
324
00:15:46,517 --> 00:15:48,648
[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]
325
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:51,423
Oh.
326
00:15:51,426 --> 00:15:53,130
You.
327
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:56,047
You!
328
00:15:56,049 --> 00:15:59,224
Would you like to give me your voice,
329
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,269
Hailey Hansen?
330
00:16:01,272 --> 00:16:03,492
[SILENCE]
331
00:16:09,932 --> 00:16:11,758
Yes!
332
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,848
Come on up! Come on up!
333
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:17,851
You've probably read
about her on your phones.
334
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:20,116
Hailey was the little girl
335
00:16:20,119 --> 00:16:22,771
that was kidnapped last Christmas.
336
00:16:24,337 --> 00:16:28,034
She survived unspeakable terrors.
337
00:16:28,037 --> 00:16:30,081
Hailey!
338
00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:33,606
And maybe part of her died a little.
339
00:16:33,608 --> 00:16:35,086
Can you blame her?
340
00:16:35,088 --> 00:16:38,045
Maybe you're starting to
get it, but let me help you.
341
00:16:38,047 --> 00:16:42,093
Inside that Easter basket
is a 9-millimeter handgun.
342
00:16:42,095 --> 00:16:44,008
She smuggled it into the show tonight.
343
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,313
- No.
- Yes.
344
00:16:45,315 --> 00:16:46,836
No.
345
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:50,275
But now she's back.
346
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,799
Resurrected.
347
00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:55,802
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
348
00:16:55,804 --> 00:16:58,805
[RADIOHEAD'S "BULLET PROOF...
I WISH I WAS" OVER SPEAKERS]
349
00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:05,814
♪ ♪
350
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:12,123
♪ Limb by limb and tooth by tooth ♪
351
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:18,259
♪ Tearing up inside of me ♪
352
00:17:18,261 --> 00:17:24,091
♪ Every day, every hour ♪
353
00:17:24,093 --> 00:17:28,095
♪ Wish that I ♪
354
00:17:28,097 --> 00:17:31,316
♪ ♪
355
00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:35,233
♪ Was bulletproof ♪
356
00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:37,409
[SCREAMING]
357
00:17:37,411 --> 00:17:39,106
Hailey!
358
00:17:39,108 --> 00:17:40,368
I gotta find Nick, Amanda.
359
00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:43,763
Nick will know what
to do, he always does!
360
00:17:43,765 --> 00:17:50,772
♪ ♪
361
00:17:56,908 --> 00:18:00,127
♪ Wax me ♪
362
00:18:00,129 --> 00:18:02,869
I think you know what she's
gonna do with that gun.
363
00:18:02,871 --> 00:18:04,175
No.
364
00:18:04,177 --> 00:18:06,873
She's gonna use it for
what guns are used for.
365
00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:09,223
Like father, like daughter.
366
00:18:09,225 --> 00:18:14,794
♪ You have turned me into this ♪
367
00:18:14,796 --> 00:18:16,012
♪ Just wish that ♪
368
00:18:16,014 --> 00:18:18,145
Don't you see, Sax?
369
00:18:18,147 --> 00:18:20,365
This is how I destroy you.
370
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,976
This is how I undo you.
371
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:29,025
♪ Was bulletproof ♪
372
00:18:29,027 --> 00:18:31,202
No, no, please.
373
00:18:31,204 --> 00:18:33,987
♪ ♪
374
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,032
Why not have a child?
375
00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:39,166
What's the worst thing
that could happen?
376
00:18:39,168 --> 00:18:41,081
Winds up like me?
377
00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:42,114
Please.
378
00:18:42,117 --> 00:18:45,129
Oh, the begging and the pleading.
379
00:18:45,131 --> 00:18:47,914
- No.
- It's like music to my ears.
380
00:18:47,916 --> 00:18:54,486
♪ So pay me money and take a shot ♪
381
00:18:54,488 --> 00:19:00,492
♪ Lead fill the hole in me ♪
382
00:19:00,494 --> 00:19:05,932
♪ I could burst a million bubbles ♪
383
00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:09,196
♪ All surrogate ♪
384
00:19:09,198 --> 00:19:13,331
♪ ♪
385
00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:20,338
♪ And bulletproof ♪
386
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:24,864
♪ ♪
387
00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:28,302
♪ And bulletproof ♪
388
00:19:28,304 --> 00:19:30,217
- [LIGHTS CLICK]
- [MUSIC STOPS]
389
00:19:30,219 --> 00:19:33,351
[CONFUSED CHATTER]
390
00:19:33,353 --> 00:19:34,830
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
391
00:19:34,832 --> 00:19:37,877
[DISTORTED VOICE]
I warned you there would be
392
00:19:37,879 --> 00:19:40,271
no Easter fun this year.
393
00:19:40,273 --> 00:19:43,491
[CHILDREN SCREAMING]
394
00:19:43,493 --> 00:19:46,494
No gaiety, no revelry.
395
00:19:46,496 --> 00:19:50,803
No pastel, pagan Bacchanalia.
396
00:19:50,805 --> 00:19:52,979
But you didn't listen!
397
00:19:52,981 --> 00:19:55,329
[CHILDREN SCREAMING]
398
00:19:55,331 --> 00:19:57,984
"Easter Strong", you said.
399
00:19:57,986 --> 00:20:00,378
Well, we'll see!
400
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:03,772
We'll see!
401
00:20:03,774 --> 00:20:05,992
Sonny, you moron, what the hell?
402
00:20:05,994 --> 00:20:07,950
- Nick!
- [GROANS]
403
00:20:07,952 --> 00:20:10,170
- Happy.
- I found you.
404
00:20:10,172 --> 00:20:13,304
[LAUGHS] Just like our first time.
405
00:20:13,306 --> 00:20:15,044
What can I do, Nick?
406
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:16,872
Sure could use a drink.
407
00:20:16,874 --> 00:20:18,483
♪ ♪
408
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,267
No, no, no.
409
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:23,792
Not that.
410
00:20:23,794 --> 00:20:25,533
Nick, I've been thinking.
411
00:20:25,535 --> 00:20:27,927
You can touch me. No one else can.
412
00:20:27,929 --> 00:20:29,450
[HAPPY SQUEAKS]
413
00:20:29,452 --> 00:20:30,930
[EXPLOSION]
414
00:20:30,932 --> 00:20:33,019
- But why?
- Uh...
415
00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:37,284
I think... I think it's
because you believe in me.
416
00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:39,243
- Fascinating.
- Uh-huh.
417
00:20:39,245 --> 00:20:43,159
Now, believe in this.
418
00:20:43,161 --> 00:20:45,336
[GASPS, LAUGHS]
419
00:20:45,338 --> 00:20:47,381
Oh, sweet Jesus.
420
00:20:47,383 --> 00:20:49,078
Bottom's up, buddy.
421
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,429
- [CAN POPS]
- [BEER GURGLING]
422
00:20:51,431 --> 00:20:53,822
♪ ♪
423
00:20:53,824 --> 00:20:56,303
[GRUNTS, SNIFFS]
424
00:20:56,305 --> 00:20:58,131
[GROWLING]
425
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,481
♪ ♪
426
00:21:00,483 --> 00:21:03,484
Not so fast, you
cotton-tailed terrorist!
427
00:21:03,486 --> 00:21:05,356
[GLASS SHATTERING]
428
00:21:05,358 --> 00:21:07,401
Over here, rodent!
429
00:21:07,403 --> 00:21:09,013
[CHUCKLING]
430
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:12,972
[GLASS SHATTERS]
431
00:21:12,974 --> 00:21:14,495
[LIGHTS CLICK]
432
00:21:14,497 --> 00:21:18,456
Your hippity-hoppity reign
of destruction ends tonight.
433
00:21:18,458 --> 00:21:20,240
[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC]
434
00:21:20,242 --> 00:21:23,199
♪ Mega ♪
435
00:21:23,201 --> 00:21:25,332
[CHILDREN CHEERING]
436
00:21:25,334 --> 00:21:32,298
♪ ♪
437
00:21:37,085 --> 00:21:39,868
[CHEERING]
438
00:21:39,870 --> 00:21:44,177
♪ ♪
439
00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:46,962
[CHUCKLES] Oh, no, no, no.
440
00:21:46,964 --> 00:21:48,660
You're not going anywhere, daddy.
441
00:21:48,663 --> 00:21:51,097
I filled that syringe with a dosage
442
00:21:51,099 --> 00:21:53,273
that would paralyze
a silverback gorilla,
443
00:21:53,275 --> 00:21:56,320
and then doubled it.
444
00:21:56,322 --> 00:21:59,671
Should have tripled it.
445
00:21:59,673 --> 00:22:01,368
[YELLS, GRUNTS]
446
00:22:01,370 --> 00:22:03,979
That was close. [GRUNTS]
447
00:22:03,981 --> 00:22:08,027
♪ ♪
448
00:22:08,029 --> 00:22:10,290
[YELLS]
449
00:22:10,292 --> 00:22:12,117
She's outside. She's
gonna meet us outside.
450
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:13,641
ALL: Sonny! Sonny!
451
00:22:13,643 --> 00:22:15,687
Whoo-hoo! [LAUGHS]
452
00:22:15,689 --> 00:22:18,211
ALL: Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
453
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:20,909
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
454
00:22:20,911 --> 00:22:27,918
♪ ♪
455
00:22:29,659 --> 00:22:32,051
[CHOKING]
456
00:22:32,053 --> 00:22:34,619
[GRUNTS]
457
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:37,622
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
458
00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:43,367
♪ ♪
459
00:22:43,369 --> 00:22:45,281
I... ugh.
460
00:22:45,283 --> 00:22:48,067
[BOTH GRUNTING]
461
00:22:48,069 --> 00:22:51,636
♪ ♪
462
00:22:51,638 --> 00:22:53,333
[GROANS]
463
00:22:53,335 --> 00:22:55,683
- ALL: Sonny! Sonny!
- No one gets out of here!
464
00:22:55,685 --> 00:22:58,469
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
465
00:22:58,471 --> 00:23:00,917
Come on, come on, come on!
Let's get out of here now!
466
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:06,381
♪ ♪
467
00:23:17,098 --> 00:23:18,227
[BONES CRUNCHING]
468
00:23:18,229 --> 00:23:20,012
[GRUNTS]
469
00:23:20,014 --> 00:23:25,583
♪ ♪
470
00:23:25,585 --> 00:23:28,760
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
471
00:23:28,762 --> 00:23:33,286
♪ ♪
472
00:23:33,288 --> 00:23:35,244
[GRUNTS]
473
00:23:35,246 --> 00:23:37,203
♪ ♪
474
00:23:37,205 --> 00:23:40,206
[STRAINING]
475
00:23:40,208 --> 00:23:43,775
♪ ♪
476
00:23:43,777 --> 00:23:45,211
[GROANING]
477
00:23:45,213 --> 00:23:46,604
Don't panic, everyone!
478
00:23:46,606 --> 00:23:50,172
I got this!
479
00:23:50,174 --> 00:23:52,610
No, no! Cut, cut, cut!
480
00:23:52,612 --> 00:23:55,613
[CHEERING]
481
00:23:55,615 --> 00:23:56,657
♪ ♪
482
00:23:56,659 --> 00:23:59,051
Whoo! [LAUGHS]
483
00:23:59,053 --> 00:24:01,314
ALL: Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
484
00:24:01,317 --> 00:24:04,622
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
485
00:24:04,624 --> 00:24:08,277
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
486
00:24:08,279 --> 00:24:11,324
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
487
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:12,717
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
488
00:24:12,719 --> 00:24:16,372
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
489
00:24:16,374 --> 00:24:18,331
[CHILDREN CHEERING]
490
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:21,116
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
491
00:24:21,118 --> 00:24:23,336
♪ ♪
492
00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:25,643
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
493
00:24:25,645 --> 00:24:29,037
Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!
494
00:24:29,039 --> 00:24:31,387
Hailey!
495
00:24:31,389 --> 00:24:36,784
♪ ♪
496
00:24:36,786 --> 00:24:40,039
Hailey, don't do it... [GROANS]
497
00:24:40,042 --> 00:24:41,789
Stop!
498
00:24:41,791 --> 00:24:44,270
Hailey...
499
00:24:44,272 --> 00:24:47,186
♪ ♪
500
00:24:47,188 --> 00:24:48,753
This is what Smoothie wants.
501
00:24:48,755 --> 00:24:51,233
[PANTING]
502
00:24:51,235 --> 00:24:54,410
This is what he's wanted
from the beginning.
503
00:24:54,412 --> 00:25:01,417
♪ ♪
504
00:25:01,419 --> 00:25:03,202
I'm not doing this for him, Dad.
505
00:25:03,204 --> 00:25:06,161
♪ ♪
506
00:25:06,163 --> 00:25:09,643
I'm doing it for me.
507
00:25:09,645 --> 00:25:12,648
[WHOOSHING]
508
00:25:18,698 --> 00:25:19,784
[GRUNTS]
509
00:25:19,786 --> 00:25:21,089
[CROWD SCREAMING]
510
00:25:21,091 --> 00:25:22,613
Nick!
511
00:25:22,615 --> 00:25:29,489
♪ ♪
512
00:25:29,491 --> 00:25:32,492
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
513
00:25:32,494 --> 00:25:39,501
♪ ♪
514
00:25:43,549 --> 00:25:45,592
[GUNSHOT]
515
00:25:45,594 --> 00:25:46,637
[AUDIENCE SCREAMING]
516
00:25:46,639 --> 00:25:48,726
[GUNSHOT]
517
00:25:48,728 --> 00:25:52,468
[SCREAMING, CHATTER]
518
00:25:52,470 --> 00:25:55,384
♪ When Sonny gets blue ♪
519
00:25:55,386 --> 00:25:57,604
♪ Hey eyes get ♪
520
00:25:57,606 --> 00:26:01,260
[GUNSHOT]
521
00:26:01,262 --> 00:26:04,176
♪ Then the rain begins ♪
522
00:26:04,178 --> 00:26:07,614
♪ To fall ♪
523
00:26:07,616 --> 00:26:09,529
[AUDIENCE GASPING]
524
00:26:09,531 --> 00:26:12,401
♪ Pitter, patter, pitter, patter ♪
525
00:26:12,403 --> 00:26:13,707
Sonny, Sonny!
526
00:26:13,709 --> 00:26:18,274
♪ Love is gone so what can matter ♪
527
00:26:18,277 --> 00:26:20,376
♪ No sweet lovin' man ♪
528
00:26:20,379 --> 00:26:22,673
♪ Comes to call ♪
529
00:26:22,675 --> 00:26:24,370
All my little sundrops.
530
00:26:24,372 --> 00:26:26,938
Oh... [LAUGHS, COUGHS]
531
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:29,418
[SNIFFS, GROANS]
532
00:26:29,420 --> 00:26:34,423
♪ She breathes a sigh of sadness ♪
533
00:26:34,425 --> 00:26:37,296
♪ Like the wind that stirs ♪
534
00:26:37,298 --> 00:26:39,559
Boop. [COUGHS]
535
00:26:39,561 --> 00:26:41,692
[SNIFFS] You're not...
536
00:26:41,694 --> 00:26:44,782
You're not the fu...
you're not the future.
537
00:26:44,784 --> 00:26:46,112
No.
538
00:26:46,115 --> 00:26:47,698
- You're not...
- Can I get a selfie?
539
00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:49,743
You're not the future.
540
00:26:49,745 --> 00:26:51,789
♪ ♪
541
00:26:51,791 --> 00:26:54,792
I'm the... I'm the...
542
00:26:54,794 --> 00:26:56,663
I'm the fu...
543
00:26:56,665 --> 00:26:58,182
I'm the future.
544
00:26:58,185 --> 00:26:59,228
I...
545
00:26:59,231 --> 00:27:01,841
♪ People used to love ♪
546
00:27:01,844 --> 00:27:05,454
♪ Hear her laugh, see her smile ♪
547
00:27:05,456 --> 00:27:07,326
[SOMBER CHATTER]
548
00:27:07,328 --> 00:27:10,372
♪ That's how she got her name ♪
549
00:27:10,374 --> 00:27:13,375
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
550
00:27:13,377 --> 00:27:16,291
♪ ♪
551
00:27:16,293 --> 00:27:20,731
This is the NYPD! This
is an active crime scene!
552
00:27:20,733 --> 00:27:23,690
If you remain in this
area, you are in danger.
553
00:27:23,692 --> 00:27:26,388
- Evacuate immediately.
- Huh.
554
00:27:26,390 --> 00:27:28,652
Move calmly and swiftly
to the nearest exit.
555
00:27:28,654 --> 00:27:30,305
Repeat, you are...
556
00:27:30,307 --> 00:27:31,524
- Dad, Dad, Dad.
- Shh.
557
00:27:31,526 --> 00:27:32,917
Dad, I'm... I'm sorry.
558
00:27:32,919 --> 00:27:34,832
Shh, no, no, no.
559
00:27:34,834 --> 00:27:36,672
...calmly and swiftly
to the nearest exit.
560
00:27:36,675 --> 00:27:38,836
It's not your fault. I did this.
561
00:27:38,838 --> 00:27:41,012
I'm sorry I said I
wanted things to go back
562
00:27:41,014 --> 00:27:42,682
to the way the used to be.
563
00:27:42,685 --> 00:27:44,885
I didn't mean it, I didn't.
564
00:27:44,887 --> 00:27:46,539
I know.
565
00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:49,760
It's okay.
566
00:27:49,762 --> 00:27:52,545
You never needed a fake dad anyway.
567
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:54,852
You're not a fake dad.
568
00:27:54,854 --> 00:27:56,636
♪ ♪
569
00:27:56,638 --> 00:27:58,856
You're real...
570
00:27:58,858 --> 00:28:02,250
and I don't want you to go.
571
00:28:02,252 --> 00:28:04,775
[SOMBER MUSIC]
572
00:28:04,777 --> 00:28:07,778
[LABORED BREATHING]
573
00:28:07,780 --> 00:28:09,344
♪ ♪
574
00:28:09,346 --> 00:28:13,044
Move calmly and swiftly
to the nearest exit.
575
00:28:13,046 --> 00:28:17,526
♪ ♪
576
00:28:17,528 --> 00:28:20,747
Drop the weapon! Drop the weapon!
577
00:28:20,749 --> 00:28:23,532
- Any other active shooter?
- Ma'am, drop the weapon.
578
00:28:23,534 --> 00:28:26,369
Hands where I can see
them. Cover the corners!
579
00:28:26,558 --> 00:28:28,746
Sonny's show was the highest-rated
580
00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:30,263
Easter Sunday broadcast ever.
581
00:28:30,265 --> 00:28:31,465
By the time he ate the bullet,
582
00:28:31,489 --> 00:28:33,308
he was doing Super Bowl numbers.
583
00:28:33,311 --> 00:28:35,224
He was right, the show was a hit.
584
00:28:35,226 --> 00:28:36,171
It's ironic.
585
00:28:36,174 --> 00:28:38,311
Poor guy never lived
to see the overnights.
586
00:28:38,314 --> 00:28:41,194
- I always knew it would work.
- What about Brooks?
587
00:28:45,454 --> 00:28:46,627
Replaceable.
588
00:28:46,629 --> 00:28:49,021
No, I mean, shouldn't we say something?
589
00:28:49,023 --> 00:28:51,414
Tell someone? I mean, his family?
590
00:28:51,416 --> 00:28:53,329
Why ruin a great feel-good story?
591
00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:55,114
We should get something
going with the guy.
592
00:28:55,116 --> 00:28:56,419
The one who killed Santa Claus.
593
00:28:56,421 --> 00:28:57,768
Now we're talking.
594
00:28:57,770 --> 00:28:59,422
He's like a real-life John McClane.
595
00:28:59,424 --> 00:29:01,076
Exclusive with Fareed Zakaria.
596
00:29:01,078 --> 00:29:03,780
Screw that. Why not his own show?
597
00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:05,902
Wait, wait, let's don't
get ahead of ourselves.
598
00:29:05,905 --> 00:29:07,474
Didn't he die?
599
00:29:07,476 --> 00:29:10,042
Get him over. Clear.
600
00:29:10,044 --> 00:29:12,000
[ELECTRICITY ZAPPING]
601
00:29:12,002 --> 00:29:13,656
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
602
00:29:14,613 --> 00:29:15,793
Somebody check that.
603
00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:17,703
[MONITOR FLAT-LINING]
604
00:29:20,054 --> 00:29:22,010
Nick. Wake up, Nick.
605
00:29:22,012 --> 00:29:25,100
- Call it.
- Time of death, 9:53 p.m.
606
00:29:25,102 --> 00:29:27,059
All right, that's a wrap.
607
00:29:27,061 --> 00:29:29,160
You wanna grab margaritas at Chili's?
608
00:29:29,163 --> 00:29:31,193
[SIGHS] Nah, "The Voice" is on tonight.
609
00:29:31,195 --> 00:29:34,370
No, you can't just...
this is somebody's father!
610
00:29:34,372 --> 00:29:36,068
Somebody's son!
611
00:29:36,070 --> 00:29:38,070
Somebody's best friend!
612
00:29:38,072 --> 00:29:39,419
Wake him up, Doc!
613
00:29:39,421 --> 00:29:41,464
Use the zappers, come on!
614
00:29:41,466 --> 00:29:43,468
Wait.
615
00:29:44,773 --> 00:29:47,121
Do you feel that?
616
00:29:47,124 --> 00:29:48,689
- That breeze?
- No, uh-uh.
617
00:29:48,691 --> 00:29:51,213
No, no, no, don't start that shit, Doc.
618
00:29:51,215 --> 00:29:53,128
That "you can feel the
spirit leaving them
619
00:29:53,130 --> 00:29:55,478
as they slough off the
motherfucking mortal coil".
620
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:56,941
I'm not having that shit.
621
00:29:56,944 --> 00:29:58,655
I will walk the fuck right out of here
622
00:29:58,657 --> 00:30:01,049
and you will not see my
black ass ever again.
623
00:30:01,051 --> 00:30:02,659
Try me.
624
00:30:02,661 --> 00:30:05,271
Oh, there are millions
of "IFs" out there
625
00:30:05,273 --> 00:30:06,777
just like you, Happy.
626
00:30:06,780 --> 00:30:08,796
Waiting for the moment our young friends
627
00:30:08,798 --> 00:30:11,277
stop believing completely...
628
00:30:11,279 --> 00:30:14,149
And we blink out of existence.
629
00:30:14,151 --> 00:30:16,586
When your friend stops
believing, you disappear.
630
00:30:16,588 --> 00:30:18,153
I die...
631
00:30:18,155 --> 00:30:21,156
if she dies.
632
00:30:21,158 --> 00:30:24,333
Well, I guess this is it, then.
633
00:30:24,335 --> 00:30:26,596
I've lived, I've loved.
634
00:30:26,598 --> 00:30:29,382
I've done things no other
imaginary friend has ever done.
635
00:30:29,384 --> 00:30:31,732
Now it's time for me to go.
636
00:30:31,734 --> 00:30:33,808
The great pineapple pasture in the sky
637
00:30:33,811 --> 00:30:37,520
where IFs frolic forever
under clown-colored clouds.
638
00:30:37,522 --> 00:30:39,653
Goodbye, sweet world.
639
00:30:39,655 --> 00:30:43,178
Goodbye, Hailey, wherever you are.
640
00:30:43,180 --> 00:30:45,530
Goodbye, partner.
641
00:30:53,712 --> 00:30:56,104
I'm...
642
00:30:56,106 --> 00:30:58,195
not dead.
643
00:31:00,371 --> 00:31:02,460
Why the heck ain't I dead?
644
00:31:05,463 --> 00:31:08,377
[ANGELIC CLASSICAL MUSIC]
645
00:31:08,379 --> 00:31:15,386
♪ ♪
646
00:31:24,569 --> 00:31:26,743
Welcome, Nick.
647
00:31:26,745 --> 00:31:30,182
Size doesn't matter here.
648
00:31:30,184 --> 00:31:32,184
♪ ♪
649
00:31:32,186 --> 00:31:34,186
My breasts are filled
650
00:31:34,188 --> 00:31:37,754
with the finest bourbons.
651
00:31:37,756 --> 00:31:41,932
Suckle them for eternity.
652
00:31:41,934 --> 00:31:47,810
♪ ♪
653
00:31:58,429 --> 00:32:00,475
Hello, Nick.
654
00:32:02,868 --> 00:32:04,305
Motherfucker.
655
00:32:04,308 --> 00:32:06,347
If you're gonna cock-block
me for all eternity,
656
00:32:06,350 --> 00:32:07,567
we're gonna have a problem.
657
00:32:07,569 --> 00:32:09,743
No, no, Nick, I just
come here sometimes.
658
00:32:09,745 --> 00:32:12,311
You know, pop into the party.
659
00:32:12,313 --> 00:32:16,532
Which is absolutely fucking bestial.
660
00:32:16,534 --> 00:32:18,839
[LAUGHS] No, but I wanted
661
00:32:18,841 --> 00:32:21,794
to tell you, Nick, it
doesn't have to be this way.
662
00:32:21,797 --> 00:32:23,626
You can turn back.
663
00:32:23,628 --> 00:32:26,281
I don't think you got the memo, asshole.
664
00:32:26,283 --> 00:32:27,888
I flat-lined. Bellied up.
665
00:32:27,891 --> 00:32:29,719
Bagged and tagged.
666
00:32:29,721 --> 00:32:31,591
Man, is it hot in here.
667
00:32:31,594 --> 00:32:33,055
I can still bring you back.
668
00:32:33,058 --> 00:32:34,732
What the fuck would I want that for?
669
00:32:34,735 --> 00:32:37,379
I been dreaming of this
moment my entire life.
670
00:32:37,381 --> 00:32:39,196
[TENSE MUSIC]
671
00:32:39,199 --> 00:32:41,469
What about your little girl?
672
00:32:41,472 --> 00:32:42,950
♪ ♪
673
00:32:42,952 --> 00:32:44,647
Let's face facts.
674
00:32:44,649 --> 00:32:47,389
I think there's one thing
we've all learned here.
675
00:32:47,391 --> 00:32:49,217
♪ ♪
676
00:32:49,219 --> 00:32:51,915
That she's better off without me.
677
00:32:51,917 --> 00:32:55,876
Hmm, difficult point to argue.
678
00:32:55,878 --> 00:32:59,488
Oh, then there is the
small matter of revenge.
679
00:32:59,490 --> 00:33:02,970
♪ ♪
680
00:33:02,972 --> 00:33:04,862
"Revenge"?
681
00:33:04,865 --> 00:33:06,812
I don't have a vengeful bone in my body.
682
00:33:06,815 --> 00:33:09,672
Oh, Nick, don't be
tedious. Of course you do.
683
00:33:09,674 --> 00:33:12,849
Everybody loves revenge.
684
00:33:12,851 --> 00:33:16,331
I mean, can you really shuffle
off to the great beyond
685
00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:18,899
knowing that the man who bested you
686
00:33:18,901 --> 00:33:20,292
is still out there somewhere?
687
00:33:20,294 --> 00:33:21,728
Can you?
688
00:33:21,730 --> 00:33:24,034
You know who I'm talking about.
689
00:33:24,036 --> 00:33:25,732
Tick, tock, time to rock.
690
00:33:25,734 --> 00:33:28,526
I'm going to show you
why they call me...
691
00:33:28,529 --> 00:33:29,779
Smoothie.
692
00:33:29,781 --> 00:33:31,694
Yes.
693
00:33:31,696 --> 00:33:34,958
♪ ♪
694
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,831
But there's the finest bourbon.
695
00:33:37,833 --> 00:33:42,357
♪ ♪
696
00:33:42,359 --> 00:33:43,663
[CHUCKLES]
697
00:33:43,665 --> 00:33:45,969
Why is it so hot in here?
698
00:33:45,971 --> 00:33:47,362
[GAS HISSING]
699
00:33:47,364 --> 00:33:50,713
Death drums his fingers
and waits for us all,
700
00:33:50,715 --> 00:33:52,889
even me.
701
00:33:52,891 --> 00:33:54,951
I think he can wait a little longer.
702
00:33:54,954 --> 00:33:56,545
Don't you?
703
00:33:56,547 --> 00:34:01,507
♪ ♪
704
00:34:01,509 --> 00:34:03,335
Well, maybe just a little bit longer.
705
00:34:03,337 --> 00:34:05,554
Splendid! [LAUGHING]
706
00:34:05,556 --> 00:34:07,643
- Ooh, one small thing.
- Yeah?
707
00:34:07,645 --> 00:34:10,060
If I bring you back, you
belong to me for all time.
708
00:34:10,063 --> 00:34:11,517
- Okay?
- What?
709
00:34:11,519 --> 00:34:14,520
[GAS HISSING]
710
00:34:14,522 --> 00:34:20,961
♪ ♪
711
00:34:20,963 --> 00:34:23,964
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
712
00:34:23,966 --> 00:34:30,973
♪ ♪
713
00:34:34,672 --> 00:34:37,673
[FLAMES ROARING]
714
00:34:37,675 --> 00:34:40,676
[TENSE MUSIC]
715
00:34:40,678 --> 00:34:43,899
♪ ♪
716
00:34:45,509 --> 00:34:47,511
I've woken up worse.
717
00:34:50,028 --> 00:34:51,854
Okay, Hansen.
718
00:34:51,856 --> 00:34:53,943
Your ride's here.
719
00:34:53,945 --> 00:34:55,510
Is it grandma?
720
00:34:55,512 --> 00:34:57,904
No, honey, it's your aunt.
721
00:34:57,906 --> 00:34:59,906
I have an aunt?
722
00:34:59,908 --> 00:35:02,909
[CURIOUS MUSIC]
723
00:35:02,911 --> 00:35:05,999
Nice jacket.
724
00:35:06,001 --> 00:35:08,523
It's supposed to make
me look more normal.
725
00:35:08,525 --> 00:35:10,568
I'm sure you can relate.
726
00:35:10,570 --> 00:35:12,527
It's not working.
727
00:35:12,529 --> 00:35:14,877
♪ ♪
728
00:35:14,879 --> 00:35:17,619
I don't understand.
729
00:35:17,621 --> 00:35:21,536
Well, your mom and dad
listed me as your next of kin.
730
00:35:21,538 --> 00:35:24,974
So, looks like I got a
roommate for a while.
731
00:35:24,976 --> 00:35:26,889
♪ ♪
732
00:35:26,891 --> 00:35:29,022
Why would she put me with you?
733
00:35:29,024 --> 00:35:30,675
Maybe she thought you could use
734
00:35:30,677 --> 00:35:32,941
a good female role model.
735
00:35:41,036 --> 00:35:43,732
What happened to your hand?
736
00:35:43,734 --> 00:35:46,865
Story for another day.
737
00:35:46,867 --> 00:35:49,825
Feet off the dash.
738
00:35:49,827 --> 00:35:51,653
[MR. MISTER'S "BOOK OF LOVE"]
739
00:35:51,655 --> 00:35:53,568
[BARKS, GROWLS]
740
00:35:53,570 --> 00:35:56,049
♪ ♪
741
00:35:56,051 --> 00:35:57,920
Where is everyone?
742
00:35:57,922 --> 00:36:00,836
You live under a mushroom or something?
743
00:36:00,838 --> 00:36:03,795
Not you.
744
00:36:03,797 --> 00:36:06,711
- I don't understand.
- Oh, sorry.
745
00:36:06,713 --> 00:36:10,933
I guess you missed the IF
mass genocide on Sunday.
746
00:36:10,935 --> 00:36:13,196
That Bob's Big Boy-looking
perv all the kids love
747
00:36:13,198 --> 00:36:14,937
got murdered on national television.
748
00:36:14,939 --> 00:36:17,070
No big deal. I'm sure you can DVR it.
749
00:36:17,072 --> 00:36:19,768
Oh, that.
750
00:36:19,770 --> 00:36:21,465
I was there.
751
00:36:21,467 --> 00:36:22,858
Dude.
752
00:36:22,860 --> 00:36:23,946
I'm sorry.
753
00:36:23,948 --> 00:36:25,774
Oh, forget it.
754
00:36:25,776 --> 00:36:27,776
The usual? On the house, man.
755
00:36:27,778 --> 00:36:29,734
No, thanks.
756
00:36:29,736 --> 00:36:31,867
Hey, you haven't seen
Peep around, have you?
757
00:36:31,869 --> 00:36:34,217
Peep? Yeah, she's here.
758
00:36:34,219 --> 00:36:36,219
I let her use the back room.
759
00:36:36,221 --> 00:36:40,267
Hey, wait, you probably
don't want to go back there.
760
00:36:40,269 --> 00:36:41,964
Suit yourself, buddy.
761
00:36:41,966 --> 00:36:44,967
[BOTH MOANING]
762
00:36:44,969 --> 00:36:46,621
Oh, yes, sir!
763
00:36:46,623 --> 00:36:47,638
Yes, sir!
764
00:36:47,641 --> 00:36:49,365
Three bags full!
765
00:36:49,368 --> 00:36:51,581
- Bo?
- [BOTH GASP]
766
00:36:51,584 --> 00:36:54,631
- Ah, crap.
- Oh, uh, hey, Happy.
767
00:36:55,936 --> 00:36:58,981
What's good, man?
768
00:36:58,983 --> 00:37:01,679
- [CHATTERING]
- ♪ The voices sing ♪
769
00:37:01,681 --> 00:37:04,117
♪ The book of love will open up ♪
770
00:37:04,119 --> 00:37:05,988
I was, uh...
771
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:07,642
distraught?
772
00:37:07,644 --> 00:37:10,819
♪ Take these broken wings ♪
773
00:37:10,821 --> 00:37:13,039
♪ You've got to learn to fly ♪
774
00:37:13,041 --> 00:37:15,867
♪ Learn to live, love so free ♪
775
00:37:15,869 --> 00:37:18,174
♪ And when we hear ♪
776
00:37:18,176 --> 00:37:21,569
You'll be all right there for a while.
777
00:37:21,571 --> 00:37:24,748
Merry lost her father, too, you know.
778
00:37:25,792 --> 00:37:27,053
I just want you to know
779
00:37:27,055 --> 00:37:29,838
that none of this is your fault.
780
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,536
We all just did what we had to do.
781
00:37:32,538 --> 00:37:34,103
That's all.
782
00:37:34,105 --> 00:37:37,106
[DARK MUSIC]
783
00:37:37,108 --> 00:37:39,848
♪ ♪
784
00:37:39,850 --> 00:37:42,111
I'm coming for you.
785
00:37:42,113 --> 00:37:43,852
You stay strong, Hailey.
786
00:37:43,854 --> 00:37:45,767
I promise, no matter what it takes,
787
00:37:45,769 --> 00:37:49,858
I will come for you.
788
00:37:49,860 --> 00:37:52,861
No, Mom.
789
00:37:52,863 --> 00:37:55,603
I'll come for you.
790
00:37:55,605 --> 00:37:58,606
[DARK ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
791
00:37:58,608 --> 00:38:02,610
♪ ♪
792
00:38:02,612 --> 00:38:05,613
[CARS HONKING]
793
00:38:05,615 --> 00:38:12,622
♪ ♪
794
00:38:29,204 --> 00:38:30,246
[DOG BARKING]
795
00:38:30,248 --> 00:38:31,682
Hey, hey, hey!
796
00:38:31,684 --> 00:38:33,902
Da-da-da-da, yeah, you.
797
00:38:33,904 --> 00:38:40,911
♪ ♪
798
00:38:43,609 --> 00:38:45,087
Don't look at that!
799
00:38:45,089 --> 00:38:47,133
Look at this!
800
00:38:47,135 --> 00:38:54,142
♪ ♪
801
00:39:00,235 --> 00:39:03,236
[CARS HONKING]
802
00:39:03,238 --> 00:39:05,673
♪ ♪
803
00:39:05,675 --> 00:39:09,285
[GRUMBLES]
804
00:39:09,287 --> 00:39:11,722
[GROANING]
805
00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:13,681
[WHOOSHING]
806
00:39:13,683 --> 00:39:17,600
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
807
00:39:19,167 --> 00:39:21,079
[LABORED BREATHING]
808
00:39:21,081 --> 00:39:23,995
I always thought I knew
what my purpose was,
809
00:39:23,997 --> 00:39:26,433
but that's all gone now.
810
00:39:26,435 --> 00:39:28,174
I don't even know what I am anymore.
811
00:39:28,176 --> 00:39:30,698
What the heck am I?
812
00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:32,134
That's a very good question.
813
00:39:32,136 --> 00:39:34,267
That's a very good question.
814
00:39:34,269 --> 00:39:36,965
You seem to be, like,
a kind of a mash-up
815
00:39:36,967 --> 00:39:40,273
of random images from a child's brain
816
00:39:40,275 --> 00:39:44,407
that's, uh, obtained
some kind of autonomy.
817
00:39:44,409 --> 00:39:46,192
Isn't that wild?
818
00:39:46,194 --> 00:39:47,802
God?
819
00:39:47,804 --> 00:39:51,284
Let's call me, uh, an imaginary friend.
820
00:39:51,286 --> 00:39:55,766
Only, my friend, uh,
happens to be, you know,
821
00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:57,290
a whole civilization.
822
00:39:57,292 --> 00:39:58,838
At this point, thankfully,
823
00:39:58,841 --> 00:40:02,859
an ever-dwindling
portion of civilization.
824
00:40:02,862 --> 00:40:04,471
That's a funny name for it, isn't it?
825
00:40:04,473 --> 00:40:06,124
"Civilization".
826
00:40:06,126 --> 00:40:08,170
Geez, insects are more civilized.
827
00:40:08,172 --> 00:40:10,773
You, an... an imaginary friend?
828
00:40:10,776 --> 00:40:13,697
That's silly, everyone believes in you.
829
00:40:13,699 --> 00:40:15,308
They do?
830
00:40:15,310 --> 00:40:17,353
Really? [SCOFFS]
831
00:40:17,355 --> 00:40:18,441
To tell you the truth,
832
00:40:18,443 --> 00:40:20,095
I got days when I feel just like you.
833
00:40:20,097 --> 00:40:22,460
Like, "What the hell am
I even doing up here?"
834
00:40:22,463 --> 00:40:23,881
I mean, yes, you're right.
835
00:40:23,883 --> 00:40:26,710
People... people talk about me,
836
00:40:26,712 --> 00:40:29,757
but they don't really believe.
837
00:40:29,759 --> 00:40:32,238
I mean, they pretend to.
838
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,283
But look at them.
839
00:40:34,285 --> 00:40:35,937
Geez.
840
00:40:35,939 --> 00:40:37,808
But, you know, that's exactly my point.
841
00:40:37,810 --> 00:40:40,724
Every day, I hear these
sanctimonious assholes saying,
842
00:40:40,726 --> 00:40:43,421
"God told me this", and
"God spoke to me that".
843
00:40:43,424 --> 00:40:45,860
Um, n-no.
844
00:40:45,862 --> 00:40:47,949
No, I did... did not.
845
00:40:47,951 --> 00:40:50,517
I dunno what voice you're hearing,
846
00:40:50,519 --> 00:40:53,041
but, uh, it's not mine.
847
00:40:53,043 --> 00:40:54,216
Not mine.
848
00:40:54,218 --> 00:40:55,783
But what about prayers?
849
00:40:55,785 --> 00:40:58,351
Prayers? That's... that's for them.
850
00:40:58,353 --> 00:41:01,354
That's not for me, not for us.
851
00:41:01,356 --> 00:41:03,356
Uh, hey, if I played favorites
852
00:41:03,358 --> 00:41:06,881
based on who, uh, stroked my ego more,
853
00:41:06,883 --> 00:41:08,056
you know, what kind of...
854
00:41:08,058 --> 00:41:09,554
what kind of jagoff would I be?
855
00:41:09,557 --> 00:41:11,601
No, prayers, mm,
856
00:41:11,604 --> 00:41:13,888
are like those buttons at the crosswalk.
857
00:41:13,890 --> 00:41:16,412
You press them to make you feel better,
858
00:41:16,414 --> 00:41:18,240
but you're not gonna change the traffic
859
00:41:18,242 --> 00:41:19,763
by hitting a button.
860
00:41:19,765 --> 00:41:21,417
If I were you, here's what I'd do:
861
00:41:21,419 --> 00:41:23,419
I'd focus on doing what I do best.
862
00:41:23,421 --> 00:41:24,899
Being a friend.
863
00:41:24,901 --> 00:41:26,901
Forget the "imaginary" part.
864
00:41:26,903 --> 00:41:28,381
The... the nice lady is rotting away
865
00:41:28,383 --> 00:41:30,426
in the stoney lonesome for manslaughter.
866
00:41:30,428 --> 00:41:32,167
The little girl is about to turn into
867
00:41:32,169 --> 00:41:34,387
some kind of witch assassin
868
00:41:34,389 --> 00:41:37,999
on the trail of an evil, secret society.
869
00:41:38,001 --> 00:41:40,262
It's very dangerous, man.
870
00:41:40,264 --> 00:41:43,265
And, you know, Sax, the idiot?
871
00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:45,049
You know, he's a half-zombie
872
00:41:45,051 --> 00:41:49,097
in the service of some kind
of schizophrenic demi-god.
873
00:41:49,099 --> 00:41:51,969
But Nick's dead.
874
00:41:51,971 --> 00:41:54,494
Um, yeah, well, you might wanna...
875
00:41:54,496 --> 00:41:56,409
you might wanna check on that.
876
00:41:56,411 --> 00:41:58,498
Good talk, good talk.
877
00:41:58,500 --> 00:41:59,934
I gotta ghost, man.
878
00:41:59,936 --> 00:42:01,936
You know, this ain't my only gig.
879
00:42:01,938 --> 00:42:04,713
Huh, maybe my time here is...
880
00:42:04,716 --> 00:42:06,288
is coming to an end.
881
00:42:06,290 --> 00:42:08,203
Huh.
882
00:42:08,205 --> 00:42:10,379
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
883
00:42:10,381 --> 00:42:12,860
Anyway, ball up.
884
00:42:12,862 --> 00:42:15,558
Ball up, little... little horsey.
885
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,212
Drop those tiny blue testicles,
886
00:42:17,214 --> 00:42:21,259
'cause this shit's
about to get, uh, dark.
887
00:42:21,261 --> 00:42:24,395
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
888
00:42:26,441 --> 00:42:29,442
[GENTLE MUSIC]
889
00:42:29,444 --> 00:42:35,841
♪ ♪
890
00:42:37,277 --> 00:42:39,281
Hey, uh, this came for you today.
891
00:42:39,284 --> 00:42:41,976
It's from Europe.
892
00:42:41,978 --> 00:42:44,539
Thank you. I've been waiting for this.
893
00:42:44,542 --> 00:42:47,416
[TENSE MUSIC]
894
00:42:47,418 --> 00:42:51,379
♪ ♪
895
00:43:26,588 --> 00:43:29,589
[NEW ORDER'S "BLUE MONDAY"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
896
00:43:29,591 --> 00:43:34,507
♪ ♪
897
00:43:34,509 --> 00:43:36,509
[SIGHS]
898
00:43:36,511 --> 00:43:42,210
♪ ♪
899
00:43:42,212 --> 00:43:44,038
[GRUNTS]
900
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:51,047
♪ ♪
901
00:43:57,662 --> 00:44:00,184
[SIGHS]
902
00:44:00,186 --> 00:44:01,925
How?
903
00:44:01,927 --> 00:44:05,451
♪ ♪
904
00:44:05,453 --> 00:44:07,540
[GRUNTS]
905
00:44:07,542 --> 00:44:13,502
♪ ♪
906
00:44:13,504 --> 00:44:16,026
[BOTH GRUNT]
907
00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:19,290
I am so happy right now.
908
00:44:19,292 --> 00:44:20,775
- Me, too.
- I thought you were...
909
00:44:20,778 --> 00:44:22,423
Dead. I know, right?
910
00:44:22,426 --> 00:44:23,986
Bullet to the chest from your daughter,
911
00:44:24,010 --> 00:44:25,215
autopsy, incinerator.
912
00:44:25,218 --> 00:44:26,271
Mere trifles.
913
00:44:26,274 --> 00:44:27,914
And then you wouldn't
have been able to...
914
00:44:27,938 --> 00:44:30,297
- Kill you myself.
- Exactly.
915
00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:32,478
♪ ♪
916
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,958
You know, for people like us,
917
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:39,006
it's never easy to find
a worthy adversary.
918
00:44:39,008 --> 00:44:41,574
A truly meaningful death.
919
00:44:41,576 --> 00:44:44,359
I know exactly what you mean.
920
00:44:44,361 --> 00:44:47,580
♪ ♪
921
00:44:47,582 --> 00:44:49,277
Enough with the chitchat.
922
00:44:49,279 --> 00:44:51,627
Ah, I want you to know...
923
00:44:51,629 --> 00:44:53,977
that I have enjoyed our tango.
924
00:44:53,979 --> 00:44:56,719
[SIGHS]
925
00:44:56,721 --> 00:44:59,592
- Goodbye, Smoothie.
- See ya.
926
00:44:59,594 --> 00:45:03,596
♪ Tell me how do I feel ♪
927
00:45:03,598 --> 00:45:07,645
♪ Tell me now how do I feel ♪
928
00:45:09,473 --> 00:45:11,125
So... [SNIFFS]
929
00:45:11,127 --> 00:45:13,562
What do you want to be
for Halloween this year?
930
00:45:13,564 --> 00:45:15,564
Hmm.
931
00:45:15,566 --> 00:45:18,567
[SINISTER MUSIC]
932
00:45:18,576 --> 00:45:25,540
♪ ♪
933
00:45:27,622 --> 00:45:29,143
I know!
934
00:45:29,145 --> 00:45:31,624
How about psycho Santa Claus?
935
00:45:31,626 --> 00:45:33,147
♪ ♪
936
00:45:33,149 --> 00:45:34,409
No?
937
00:45:34,411 --> 00:45:36,629
All right, honey, you okay?
938
00:45:36,631 --> 00:45:43,594
♪ ♪
939
00:45:59,691 --> 00:46:06,691
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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