1 00:00:00,029 --> 00:00:01,276 Surprise! 2 00:00:01,870 --> 00:00:05,110 And my current husband is being told he's going to be losing his job. 3 00:00:05,110 --> 00:00:07,310 What's happening to you?! You're acting mental! 4 00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:10,230 You sound so surprised. 5 00:00:10,830 --> 00:00:12,430 You are good enough. 6 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:13,910 You can do it. 7 00:00:13,910 --> 00:00:15,550 But you have to take your chance. 8 00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:17,710 Promise me you won't hurt yourself again. 9 00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:19,110 I promise. 10 00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:21,270 I just want to talk, if you'll let me. 11 00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:23,830 No, no! No, Finn, move out of the... 12 00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:27,590 Right. 13 00:00:27,590 --> 00:00:29,870 Kester Gill doesn't work here any more. 14 00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:31,390 He hasn't worked here since April. 15 00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:35,390 Why are you doing this?! 16 00:00:39,550 --> 00:00:40,990 You have until five. 17 00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:44,990 You may turn your papers over. 18 00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:52,030 I need to come back. I wanna move back in. 19 00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:53,830 - I disagree. - And I want the pills. 20 00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:54,950 The ones I had last time. 21 00:00:54,950 --> 00:00:57,830 - I won't recommend those. - Well, they'll be in the file. 22 00:00:57,830 --> 00:01:01,830 No, I'm sorry. Not unless I deem them necessary. 23 00:01:01,990 --> 00:01:03,710 I rang Dr Gill. 24 00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:05,390 Told him you'd come in. 25 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:07,270 He said there was no need. 26 00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:09,550 - No need? - For you to be here. 27 00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:11,110 What else did he say? 28 00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:14,550 He said that you'd been working your way through your final few sessions 29 00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:17,910 but that, in his view, you were ready to finish therapy. 30 00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:19,630 That's it, is it? 31 00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:23,630 He didn't mention the fact that he'd been lying to me this whole time? 32 00:01:23,790 --> 00:01:27,790 Rachel, what happened with Kester Gill was a huge disappointment. 33 00:01:28,830 --> 00:01:32,470 You've clearly had real difficulties. 34 00:01:32,470 --> 00:01:35,070 But the problems you're experiencing... 35 00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:36,790 troubles with your partner, 36 00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:38,550 questions about your future, 37 00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:41,230 issues about how you look, your self-esteem... 38 00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:45,150 these are found in the majority of people your age. 39 00:01:45,150 --> 00:01:49,150 You just process them differently. 40 00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:53,950 Kester thinks you're ready to end therapy here. 41 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:57,990 Well, then, we've got a problem, haven't we? 42 00:01:57,990 --> 00:02:01,990 Cos I'm not going anywhere. 43 00:02:31,511 --> 00:02:34,403 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 44 00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:46,190 She's recommending a short course only. 45 00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:47,630 Take one at dinnertimes, 46 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:50,310 and if you feel funny or a little over-sleepy, 47 00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:54,310 then you just let us know, OK? 48 00:02:55,270 --> 00:02:57,590 If I wasn't allowed to stay in hospital, 49 00:02:57,590 --> 00:03:01,590 then I'd just have to take a bit of the hospital with me. 50 00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:07,830 Rae, shut the door. 51 00:03:07,830 --> 00:03:09,950 Well, you'll have more time to yell at me that way, 52 00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:11,590 and I won't get kicked out so quickly. 53 00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:14,750 Well, you won't get kicked out. They don't want me here. 54 00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:18,750 And you're just gonna try and convince me. 55 00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:22,030 We've got two more sessions. 56 00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:26,030 Oh! 57 00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:32,830 Let me see. 58 00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:42,030 This one's because of Finn. 59 00:03:42,030 --> 00:03:44,950 Before I found out he was cheating on me. 60 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:47,270 And this one... 61 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,670 Well, this one's because of you. 62 00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:52,550 And it's worse. It hurt more. 63 00:03:52,550 --> 00:03:54,270 These are just setbacks. 64 00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:58,270 Setbacks? Is that what you just called them, setbacks? 65 00:03:58,390 --> 00:04:02,390 And finding out my therapist isn't actually a therapist, what's that? Just another setback? 66 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:08,750 - In March this year... - Oh, what's this, Kester? Another story? 67 00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:10,870 - No, not a story. - What is it, then? 68 00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:13,750 It's an explanation. Of what's been happening. 69 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:17,670 Rae, in March, they put all the doctors in here under review. 70 00:04:17,670 --> 00:04:21,230 I mean, you name it... if you could make it into a form, it was sent my way. 71 00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:23,750 Apparently, I became difficult to work with. 72 00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:26,910 I was suspended, and even though I was banned from the building, 73 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:29,230 I kept coming back. 74 00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:33,230 Because of the duty of care I had... to my patient. 75 00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:37,630 To the patient I care about the most. 76 00:04:37,950 --> 00:04:41,870 And, if I'm honest, to the person I care about the most. 77 00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:44,550 But by that point, it didn't matter, Rae, because we did it. 78 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,310 You'd got there. 79 00:04:47,310 --> 00:04:49,230 You were ready. 80 00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:52,630 Yeah, and then all the bad stuff started happening. 81 00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,990 Because of the work you did, 82 00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:58,830 it means you were prepared for the bad things. 83 00:04:58,830 --> 00:05:01,030 Look, you might wish to continue with therapy, 84 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:03,310 but you can go to Bristol, trust me. 85 00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:05,150 Oh. 86 00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:06,990 If you don't believe me, look in your diary. 87 00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:10,710 - The diary doesn't work. - I disagree. 88 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,750 It's all in there, Rae. 89 00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:15,870 I mean, I've never read it myself, but I know the ending. 90 00:05:15,870 --> 00:05:19,870 It's about this amazing girl who achieves all her dreams. 91 00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:38,390 Well, this is stupid. 92 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:44,470 I'm scared. 93 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:49,430 You and the rest of the world. 94 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:04,750 You'd better be right about this. 95 00:06:10,430 --> 00:06:14,430 I had no idea if I could make it to the end of the street, 96 00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:16,470 let alone Bristol. 97 00:06:16,470 --> 00:06:19,990 I had no idea if things were going to be OK. 98 00:06:19,990 --> 00:06:23,990 I just had to give it a go. 99 00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:32,830 Oh, you're back, love. I thought you were staying at the hospital. 100 00:06:32,950 --> 00:06:35,390 Decided to give it a go. 101 00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,590 Are you sure? 102 00:06:37,590 --> 00:06:41,590 Not really. 103 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,870 Karim got a new job. 104 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,670 It's in a factory. 105 00:06:53,670 --> 00:06:56,030 That's great. 106 00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:57,310 Isn't it? 107 00:06:57,310 --> 00:06:58,910 Yeah, it... 108 00:06:58,910 --> 00:07:01,070 means he'll be going away for a little bit. 109 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,470 It's a bit too far to commute. 110 00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:04,362 - Why, where is it? - Monastir. 111 00:07:04,363 --> 00:07:05,663 - Where? - Tunisia. 112 00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:07,750 He goes at the end of the week. 113 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,670 It's a six-month contract, but he's allowed to come home 114 00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:14,670 for a weekend in the middle of it, so it's not all bad. 115 00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:17,630 Oh, Finn rang to say he was sorry. 116 00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:20,430 I told him to shove his apology up his arse. 117 00:07:20,430 --> 00:07:24,430 MUSIC: Catherine by PJ Harvey 118 00:07:29,670 --> 00:07:33,670 Kester said the answers were in the diary. 119 00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:39,910 All I could see was page after page of cringeworthy bullshit. 120 00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:48,110 I had to concentrate on the here and now. 121 00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:55,470 I had to revise. 122 00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:08,910 Rae, concentrate on your own stuff. 123 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,910 I needed to focus. 124 00:08:11,910 --> 00:08:15,350 But how could I think about Lady Macbeth when my head was full of 125 00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:17,790 Finn fucking Nelson? 126 00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:20,790 And I couldn't start crying to Chloe about my problems. 127 00:08:20,790 --> 00:08:23,270 She'd only just left hospital. 128 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:27,270 I had to act normal. 129 00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:29,590 Um... 130 00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:32,910 Guys, what... what is the scene number, again, with the ghost in it? 131 00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:34,750 - So shiny... - You know the one I mean? 132 00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:37,270 Do you know what the number is? 133 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,910 Hello? 134 00:08:38,910 --> 00:08:40,550 Yeah, definitely, Rae. Yeah. 135 00:08:40,550 --> 00:08:42,350 Well, you're not even listening. 136 00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:44,710 Oh, I'm picking my dress for the leavers' ball. 137 00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:46,990 Um... 138 00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:50,990 We are supposed to be studying for performing arts theory. 139 00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:54,790 Performing arts theory's easy. 140 00:08:54,790 --> 00:08:56,750 OK. 141 00:08:56,750 --> 00:09:00,430 Got your dress yet, Rae? 142 00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:03,670 - Well, what about Finn? - What about Finn? 143 00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:05,550 - Is he wearing a tux? - I don't know. 144 00:09:05,550 --> 00:09:08,150 - He would look fit in a tux. - Definitely. 145 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:09,710 He doesn't have to wear one... 146 00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:11,350 Chop's only wearing one 147 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:14,110 cos he's borrowed it from his dad's mate Len, who's a magician. 148 00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:16,950 All I wanna do is revise. 149 00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:19,110 Do you want a hand with your stuff? Are you OK? 150 00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:23,110 Do you want a hand? Rae, are you all right? 151 00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:35,870 What the fuck was she doing here? 152 00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,270 Rae... 153 00:09:37,270 --> 00:09:39,030 What? 154 00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:41,150 - Can I talk to you, please? - No. 155 00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:43,790 - No, I just want to explain myself... - Katie, what are you doing? 156 00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:45,470 Whoa, Rae, what's going on? 157 00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:47,070 Nothing. 158 00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:50,670 Well, it doesn't look like nothing. 159 00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:54,670 - I just came to pick Rae up. - It's fine. 160 00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:59,150 Rae, is there something you're not telling me? 161 00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:00,670 No. 162 00:10:00,670 --> 00:10:04,190 Hiya, Katie, you OK? 163 00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:06,990 Just so you know, if I found out you've done something to my mate cry 164 00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:09,070 while I've been in hospital, 165 00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:11,550 I'm gonna do something to make you cry. 166 00:10:11,550 --> 00:10:13,950 D'you know what I'm saying? 167 00:10:13,950 --> 00:10:16,990 Yeah. 168 00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:19,990 - Right, I'll call you later. - OK. 169 00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:23,990 Come on. 170 00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:42,110 Whatever happened between me and Finn... 171 00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:45,150 ... and it was hardly anything... 172 00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:47,110 ... it's over, OK? 173 00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:50,190 OK. 174 00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:51,790 You were all he could think about. 175 00:10:53,190 --> 00:10:56,150 - Doubt it. - I'm telling the truth, Rae. 176 00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:59,070 Fine, yeah. 177 00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:02,670 Never mind. 178 00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:05,950 - What? - Nothing, it doesn't matter. 179 00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:07,750 No, Katie, it does, 180 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:11,750 cos if you got something to say then... now is a good time to say it. 181 00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:14,950 Every time you see him, you bring... 182 00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:18,390 you bring your problems onto him. 183 00:11:18,390 --> 00:11:22,390 He cares about you so much that he just wants to... 184 00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:27,230 ... take that burden, you know? 185 00:11:27,710 --> 00:11:29,230 I hate to be the one to say this, 186 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,590 because, listen, if... if you knew what you were doing, 187 00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:36,590 I'm sure you wouldn't do it. 188 00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:40,590 Your problems are bringing him down, Rae. 189 00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:45,510 He's just too nice a guy to say anything. 190 00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:50,990 They all are. 191 00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:56,910 All of your friends. 192 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,990 With you, it's like... 193 00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:04,550 you're the one with all the injuries, 194 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:08,550 but it's them that feel the pain. 195 00:12:08,590 --> 00:12:10,270 What, like... 196 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:14,270 like I'm some kind of voodoo doll, is that what you're saying? 197 00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:22,870 They just think that you're always gonna be like this. 198 00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:34,360 Dear Diary, I would always be a burden to my friends and family. 199 00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:39,530 Katie could see it and, deep down, I knew it. 200 00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:50,230 Wow. Karim was leaving. 201 00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:55,610 There was no way Mum was gonna cope. 202 00:12:57,570 --> 00:12:59,290 How's your revision? 203 00:12:59,290 --> 00:13:01,570 You should go. 204 00:13:01,570 --> 00:13:03,130 To Tunisia. 205 00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,050 Oh, it's not as simple as that, Rae. 206 00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,690 There's your sister to think about, for a start. 207 00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:10,210 I mean, bless her little heart. 208 00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:12,850 We can't go taking her over there, she'll fry like an egg. 209 00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:15,570 Mum, they do have babies in Tunisia, you know. 210 00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:17,750 That's how they end up with adults. 211 00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:21,090 And you loved Tunisia when you went before. 212 00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:24,010 You could go to the mosque. There'll be loads of mosques. 213 00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:27,210 - And Karim will be there. You love Karim. - I don't wanna talk about it. 214 00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,570 - Why not? - I just don't. 215 00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:31,330 You go on and on about me going off to uni 216 00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,290 and now you can't even leave Stamford. 217 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,490 I've got to work! 218 00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:36,330 You hate work. 219 00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:40,330 I don't understand why you don't want to go. 220 00:13:40,730 --> 00:13:43,810 I do wanna go to Tunisia. 221 00:13:43,810 --> 00:13:46,930 It's my dream. 222 00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:50,090 I wanna be a good Muslim wife. 223 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,490 But I'm not going. 224 00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:54,810 I can't, because who's gonna look after my baby? 225 00:13:54,810 --> 00:13:56,170 We just spoke about that. 226 00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:58,530 No. You. 227 00:13:58,530 --> 00:14:00,330 You're my baby. 228 00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:04,210 Who's gonna look after you? 229 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,970 I'm going off to uni. 230 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,170 Are you? 231 00:14:07,170 --> 00:14:09,530 Because we want you to go to uni, of course we do. 232 00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:11,890 We even broke open the non-alcoholic bloody champagne. 233 00:14:11,890 --> 00:14:13,570 But every day since then, 234 00:14:13,570 --> 00:14:17,570 things seem to be getting harder and harder for you. 235 00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:22,170 I can't leave until you can. 236 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:29,490 And I don't think you're up to it. 237 00:14:43,770 --> 00:14:47,770 My name is Rachel Earl, and I have a rare ability. 238 00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:53,090 It's not just that my problems poison my mind. That's a given. 239 00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:57,490 My problems poison other people. 240 00:14:57,490 --> 00:15:00,090 And the closer those people get, 241 00:15:00,090 --> 00:15:02,690 the worse it becomes. 242 00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:06,690 So, what do you do when you harm the ones you love? 243 00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:10,810 You get out of their way. 244 00:17:23,050 --> 00:17:27,050 No-one was coming to save me. I'd have to do this on my own. 245 00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:37,250 When Kester said the answers were in the diary, 246 00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:40,690 maybe he was right. Maybe I had to look harder. 247 00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,930 Maybe I had to read through the pain. 248 00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:45,930 Now, being on your own that night was just a trigger. 249 00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:48,810 What we need to figure out is why you don't like yourself. 250 00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:51,930 We need to start digging deeper, 251 00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:53,370 looking at things in your past 252 00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:55,330 and seeing how you've made sense of them, 253 00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:57,690 things you might not have thought about for years. 254 00:17:57,690 --> 00:18:00,130 You can't spend your life running away from stuff. 255 00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:03,770 This is about being really honest. Painfully so. 256 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,850 But being honest with yourself. 257 00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:07,490 I don't get why he likes me. 258 00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:10,890 It's embarrassing to be next to him. 259 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,010 I'm embarrassed for him. 260 00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:15,930 You can't believe he likes you because you can't find anything 261 00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:18,970 - to like about yourself. - It's like my mind-set is... 262 00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:20,450 I just eat until it stops... 263 00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:22,330 Getting into weird patterns... 264 00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:26,330 We still make the same choices, because people can't change. 265 00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:30,170 Something broke inside me. 266 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:35,410 Do you think perhaps your anger is borne out of frustration with yourself, 267 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:41,450 that you're angry and frustrated with yourself for being ill? 268 00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:46,930 Maybe my illness wasn't a problem. 269 00:18:46,930 --> 00:18:50,930 Maybe it was just something I needed to learn to live with. 270 00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:56,490 Being brave isn't about never being afraid. 271 00:18:56,490 --> 00:19:00,490 It's about what you do when you are. 272 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:03,890 Whether you can keep your head. Whether you do the right thing. 273 00:19:03,890 --> 00:19:06,170 In the spring, 274 00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:09,690 I was admitted to a mental home, 275 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,690 because I kept trying to hurt myself. 276 00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:15,930 If I was to ask one of your friends what they liked about you, 277 00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:18,730 - what do you think they would say? - Our group of friends was... 278 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,850 was nothing until you sprayed Rae all over it. 279 00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:23,610 You're the one they always look to. 280 00:19:23,610 --> 00:19:24,850 You're the glue. 281 00:19:24,850 --> 00:19:28,210 You see yourself as a fragile thing, 282 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:32,210 like a little broken bird, sloshing around in a bottle. 283 00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:36,450 But, basically, I think you're a pretty tough cookie. 284 00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:39,610 You don't think that people can change. 285 00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:43,610 But I know that they can. 286 00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:45,850 If I really was a voodoo doll, 287 00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:47,890 causing all that pain, 288 00:19:47,890 --> 00:19:51,890 then it was only because I'd been sticking the pins in myself. 289 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,610 And if I'd stuck them in... 290 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:58,610 then I could pull them out again. 291 00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:01,770 How are the hands? 292 00:20:01,770 --> 00:20:04,010 A bit better. 293 00:20:04,010 --> 00:20:07,530 Good. 294 00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:10,570 So, without wishing to sound rude, Rachel, 295 00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:12,970 why are you here? 296 00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:14,850 Well... 297 00:20:14,850 --> 00:20:17,690 I need your help. 298 00:20:17,690 --> 00:20:19,730 I wanna go to Bristol. 299 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:23,530 Decided I can do it. 300 00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:27,530 So, I was wondering if you would be able to write me a letter, 301 00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:30,570 in case I don't get the grades. 302 00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:33,170 Saying what? 303 00:20:33,170 --> 00:20:37,170 Just saying that I would've got the grades if I hadn't have been in here. 304 00:20:37,930 --> 00:20:40,210 I can write a letter, 305 00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:44,210 but I'm afraid I've no idea what grades you would've got. 306 00:20:44,770 --> 00:20:47,330 Why the sudden turnaround? 307 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:50,290 You seem so certain about things. 308 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,330 But not so long ago, you were just as certain 309 00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:55,050 you couldn't manage any of this. 310 00:20:55,050 --> 00:20:57,010 Kester says... 311 00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:59,410 that I owe it to myself to try. 312 00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:01,890 How are you going to do that? 313 00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:04,290 Well... 314 00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:08,130 ... I've just gotta learn how to handle things... 315 00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:12,130 on my own. 316 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:18,690 I'm gonna stop waiting for someone to come and save me. 317 00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:22,930 So, do you need this letter? 318 00:21:24,290 --> 00:21:26,210 No. 319 00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:30,210 What does that mean? 320 00:21:30,650 --> 00:21:34,010 I guess it means... 321 00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:37,930 ... that we're done. 322 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:40,330 No offence. 323 00:21:40,330 --> 00:21:43,210 I'm glad to hear it. 324 00:21:43,210 --> 00:21:47,210 No offence. 325 00:21:53,570 --> 00:21:57,570 MUSIC: The Medication Is Wearing Off by Eels 326 00:22:01,290 --> 00:22:04,210 Performing Arts Theory is two hours long. 327 00:22:04,210 --> 00:22:08,210 It's also, for many of you, your final exam, so good luck. 328 00:22:08,850 --> 00:22:11,490 Time now is two o'clock, which gives you until four o'clock. 329 00:22:11,490 --> 00:22:15,490 You may turn over your papers. 330 00:22:16,370 --> 00:22:18,010 I'd missed one exam already. 331 00:22:18,010 --> 00:22:21,130 That meant this one mattered more than ever. 332 00:22:21,130 --> 00:22:23,130 I had to make up the marks. 333 00:22:23,130 --> 00:22:27,130 I didn't know if I'd pass or fail, let alone get into Bristol. 334 00:22:27,330 --> 00:22:29,810 I just knew I had to try. 335 00:22:29,810 --> 00:22:32,050 Bit by bit, question by question, 336 00:22:32,050 --> 00:22:34,490 for no-one else other than me. 337 00:22:48,330 --> 00:22:50,850 But just because my exams were over 338 00:22:50,850 --> 00:22:53,330 didn't mean my problems suddenly were. 339 00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,930 And some things will never let you go. 340 00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:59,930 Not until you find the strength to deal with them. 341 00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:04,770 It was time to tell the gang about Finn. 342 00:23:06,610 --> 00:23:08,250 - No fucking way. - That's what she told me. 343 00:23:08,250 --> 00:23:10,090 - Are you serious, Rae? - That's disgusting. 344 00:23:10,090 --> 00:23:14,090 Guys... Guys... before you kick off, just hear me out, yeah? 345 00:23:15,130 --> 00:23:18,530 I haven't been easy to go out with. Trust me. 346 00:23:18,530 --> 00:23:20,930 He's meant to be your plus-one for the leavers' ball. 347 00:23:20,930 --> 00:23:23,650 He's supposed to be a plus-one for longer than that. 348 00:23:23,650 --> 00:23:27,010 Forget about Finn. Are you all right, Rae? 349 00:23:27,010 --> 00:23:29,610 Yeah, we've been worried about you. 350 00:23:29,610 --> 00:23:30,850 Well... 351 00:23:30,850 --> 00:23:34,810 that's why I wanted us to get together. 352 00:23:34,810 --> 00:23:37,850 So I can explain why I've been feeling the way 353 00:23:37,850 --> 00:23:41,090 that I've been feeling. 354 00:23:41,090 --> 00:23:45,090 OK, the only way that I can describe it is... 355 00:23:45,370 --> 00:23:49,370 ... it's like I'm walking through a forest the whole time 356 00:23:49,930 --> 00:23:51,770 and, for the most part... 357 00:23:51,770 --> 00:23:54,170 it's fine. 358 00:23:54,170 --> 00:23:55,530 It can... 359 00:23:55,530 --> 00:23:58,410 be beautiful. 360 00:23:58,410 --> 00:24:00,810 Peaceful, even. 361 00:24:00,810 --> 00:24:02,530 But... 362 00:24:02,530 --> 00:24:05,930 you always know that at some point... 363 00:24:05,930 --> 00:24:08,970 ... you're gonna come across these parts of the forest 364 00:24:08,970 --> 00:24:11,770 that you don't recognise. 365 00:24:11,770 --> 00:24:15,530 Dark corners that you didn't know were there, but... 366 00:24:15,530 --> 00:24:17,850 well, you always kind of knew they were coming. 367 00:24:17,850 --> 00:24:21,850 - Does that make sense? - Yeah. 368 00:24:22,970 --> 00:24:26,970 And that's when the world gets scary. 369 00:24:28,290 --> 00:24:31,970 And that's when you can lose your way. 370 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:33,970 But... 371 00:24:33,970 --> 00:24:37,930 because I've got great mates... 372 00:24:37,930 --> 00:24:41,930 and people who make me strong and remind me that... 373 00:24:43,450 --> 00:24:47,450 well, even when I hit those dark parts of the forest... 374 00:24:48,370 --> 00:24:49,610 ... that... 375 00:24:49,610 --> 00:24:51,810 I've just gotta keep walking. 376 00:24:51,810 --> 00:24:55,810 Just keep walking, and I'll be OK. 377 00:24:56,570 --> 00:25:00,050 I'll be scared. 378 00:25:00,050 --> 00:25:01,850 But I'll be OK. 379 00:25:01,850 --> 00:25:03,610 So... 380 00:25:03,610 --> 00:25:07,610 you have to promise me that you're not gonna worry. 381 00:25:09,170 --> 00:25:12,330 And you're not going to hate Finn. Promise? 382 00:25:12,330 --> 00:25:13,650 - Promise. - Promise? 383 00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:14,850 - Yeah. - Yeah. 384 00:25:14,850 --> 00:25:17,290 It's OK to hate Katie Springer, though, right? 385 00:25:17,290 --> 00:25:20,210 - Yeah. - Definitely. 386 00:25:20,210 --> 00:25:24,210 You're not talking about the woods in Burghley Park, are you? 387 00:25:25,730 --> 00:25:27,570 What? 388 00:25:27,570 --> 00:25:29,570 I go there on my bike all the time. 389 00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:33,330 There's loads of dark pa... 390 00:25:33,330 --> 00:25:35,990 You should cycle somewhere else, genius that you are. 391 00:25:40,592 --> 00:25:41,632 Rae! 392 00:25:41,632 --> 00:25:42,752 Rae. 393 00:25:42,752 --> 00:25:44,192 Look, I just wanted to say, 394 00:25:44,192 --> 00:25:46,752 if Finn doesn't take you to the leavers' ball, 395 00:25:46,752 --> 00:25:50,752 then I'd consider it an honour to step in and take you myself. 396 00:25:51,952 --> 00:25:53,792 The only possible caveat 397 00:25:53,792 --> 00:25:56,632 is that I've made some inroads with Kelly 398 00:25:56,632 --> 00:25:58,912 who does the trolleys in the Safeway's car park. 399 00:25:58,912 --> 00:26:01,032 So if she pages me back... 400 00:26:01,032 --> 00:26:03,312 I'd have to renege on my offer. 401 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,552 I mean, I can't have blurred lines, Rae. 402 00:26:05,552 --> 00:26:06,992 Understood. 403 00:26:06,992 --> 00:26:08,312 Thanks, Danny. 404 00:26:08,312 --> 00:26:10,392 - Chlo... - I told her, Rae. 405 00:26:10,392 --> 00:26:13,032 I warned her. 406 00:26:13,032 --> 00:26:15,392 Shit. Chlo! 407 00:26:15,392 --> 00:26:18,512 Chlo, wait up. Chlo! 408 00:26:18,512 --> 00:26:21,592 - Chloe... - What car is it? 409 00:26:21,592 --> 00:26:23,792 Is it one of these? 410 00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:25,912 Or is it this one? 411 00:26:25,912 --> 00:26:29,272 - It's this one, isn't it? - Chlo... 412 00:26:41,472 --> 00:26:44,712 Chloe! 413 00:26:44,712 --> 00:26:47,192 Chloe, you've just got out of hospital. 414 00:26:47,192 --> 00:26:49,872 What's she doing? 415 00:26:49,872 --> 00:26:51,032 Chloe? 416 00:26:51,032 --> 00:26:52,752 I told you, Katie. 417 00:26:52,752 --> 00:26:54,632 I warned you. 418 00:26:54,632 --> 00:26:56,392 - What are you doing? - I warned you. 419 00:26:56,392 --> 00:27:00,272 You mess with my best mate, this is what happens. 420 00:27:00,272 --> 00:27:04,152 Your shitty little car gets it. 421 00:27:04,152 --> 00:27:07,912 Chloe, that's not my car. 422 00:27:07,912 --> 00:27:08,952 That's my car. 423 00:27:19,472 --> 00:27:23,112 - Oi, Katie. - No, I get it, Rae, OK? 424 00:27:23,112 --> 00:27:25,272 Yeah, I get it, your mate's pissed off. 425 00:27:25,272 --> 00:27:26,712 Can we just drop it, please? 426 00:27:26,712 --> 00:27:28,672 Yeah, OK, yeah, we can. 427 00:27:28,672 --> 00:27:31,472 But this is the last time that we ever speak, 428 00:27:31,472 --> 00:27:32,912 even if I get into uni. 429 00:27:32,912 --> 00:27:34,912 You're gonna to go to Bristol 430 00:27:34,912 --> 00:27:37,192 and you're gonna ignore the only person that you know? 431 00:27:37,192 --> 00:27:39,912 Yeah. Yeah, I am, Katie. 432 00:27:39,912 --> 00:27:42,672 Because there is no way you are anything like a proper mate, 433 00:27:42,672 --> 00:27:44,432 and if your life was so amazing, 434 00:27:44,432 --> 00:27:47,512 then you wouldn't be hanging around in a Lincolnshire cul-de-sac 435 00:27:47,512 --> 00:27:51,512 with the girls from the year below, would you? 436 00:27:56,472 --> 00:27:58,032 Chlo... 437 00:27:58,032 --> 00:27:59,632 OK? 438 00:27:59,632 --> 00:28:03,632 Listen, you do know that you doing that makes me love you even more? 439 00:28:03,952 --> 00:28:07,952 Even more than if you'd have got the right car. 440 00:28:08,592 --> 00:28:12,512 What made you go for the bins? 441 00:28:12,512 --> 00:28:15,832 The only thing I could think of! 442 00:28:15,832 --> 00:28:18,152 Chlo, can you do me a favour? 443 00:28:18,152 --> 00:28:22,152 Will you please try and stop worrying about me? 444 00:28:22,152 --> 00:28:24,472 I know it's hard, because I am literally 445 00:28:24,472 --> 00:28:27,392 the easiest person in the world to worry about, but... 446 00:28:27,392 --> 00:28:29,352 You've gotta try. 447 00:28:29,352 --> 00:28:31,232 Yeah? 448 00:28:31,232 --> 00:28:32,512 Yeah. 449 00:28:32,512 --> 00:28:35,472 Got bin juice on my hand now. 450 00:28:35,472 --> 00:28:37,152 - Whose car is that? - I don't know, 451 00:28:37,152 --> 00:28:39,192 but they're gonna be well pissed. 452 00:28:39,192 --> 00:28:41,152 Come on, hurry up! 453 00:28:48,392 --> 00:28:50,392 A bit racy. 454 00:28:50,392 --> 00:28:52,232 Racy? 455 00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:53,792 Yeah. 456 00:28:53,792 --> 00:28:55,632 Well, racy. 457 00:28:55,632 --> 00:28:57,512 As in... racy. 458 00:28:57,512 --> 00:29:00,312 Oh, OK. Perfect. 459 00:29:00,312 --> 00:29:04,312 That's the look I normally go for. 460 00:29:07,712 --> 00:29:10,672 Oh! 461 00:29:10,672 --> 00:29:13,432 - OK. - Oh, good. 462 00:29:13,432 --> 00:29:17,432 - Here you are, then. - Thanks. 463 00:29:18,472 --> 00:29:22,272 The leavers' ball wasn't exactly top of my to-do list, 464 00:29:22,272 --> 00:29:25,752 especially without Finn... 465 00:29:25,752 --> 00:29:27,352 Any good? 466 00:29:27,352 --> 00:29:31,312 ... but I had to show Mum I was on the mend. 467 00:29:31,312 --> 00:29:32,992 Bought it when I was 30. 468 00:29:32,992 --> 00:29:36,352 When I was, and don't bite my head off, 469 00:29:36,352 --> 00:29:39,032 I was a couple of sizes bigger. 470 00:29:39,032 --> 00:29:43,032 I never... quite had the confidence to wear it out. 471 00:29:53,472 --> 00:29:56,352 Oh, Rae. 472 00:29:56,352 --> 00:29:58,752 I'll wear it. 473 00:29:58,752 --> 00:30:01,432 On one condition. 474 00:30:01,432 --> 00:30:05,112 You go to Tunisia. 475 00:30:05,112 --> 00:30:06,792 - No. - Mum... 476 00:30:06,792 --> 00:30:10,352 Karim will be missing you like crazy. 477 00:30:10,352 --> 00:30:12,272 You're his life. 478 00:30:12,272 --> 00:30:15,592 I will ring you constantly. 479 00:30:15,592 --> 00:30:19,352 There's this thing called e-mail. Everyone's getting them. 480 00:30:19,352 --> 00:30:21,752 It's not about that. 481 00:30:21,752 --> 00:30:23,832 Mum... 482 00:30:23,832 --> 00:30:26,072 They still look sore. 483 00:30:26,072 --> 00:30:29,792 Yeah. They are. 484 00:30:29,792 --> 00:30:32,232 But they'll heal. 485 00:30:32,232 --> 00:30:34,912 I am learning how to handle things. 486 00:30:34,912 --> 00:30:38,912 But how am I gonna know you're OK? 487 00:30:39,592 --> 00:30:43,592 You don't. 488 00:30:45,152 --> 00:30:49,152 I'd have to hand my notice in at the hospital... 489 00:31:03,272 --> 00:31:04,952 Do you need a little jacket? 490 00:31:04,952 --> 00:31:08,952 - How about a little jacket? - Mum... 491 00:31:09,072 --> 00:31:13,072 I've got a jacket. 492 00:31:26,552 --> 00:31:28,592 You look lovely. 493 00:31:28,592 --> 00:31:31,432 So do you. 494 00:31:31,432 --> 00:31:35,432 You just look a bit more pyjama-y than I expected. 495 00:31:38,312 --> 00:31:41,152 I can't face it, Rae. 496 00:31:41,152 --> 00:31:44,392 What are you on about? 497 00:31:44,392 --> 00:31:47,232 Well... CHLOE SNIFFS 498 00:31:47,232 --> 00:31:48,832 W... 499 00:31:48,832 --> 00:31:50,832 Well, what happens next? 500 00:31:50,832 --> 00:31:53,152 Business college. 501 00:31:53,152 --> 00:31:57,152 I don't know. I don't... 502 00:31:58,272 --> 00:32:02,272 I only got that because my dad plays golf with the guy who runs it. 503 00:32:02,632 --> 00:32:05,032 And if I don't do that, then... 504 00:32:05,032 --> 00:32:09,032 then I don't know what I'm gonna do. 505 00:32:11,752 --> 00:32:15,312 I just know that I won't get to do it with you. 506 00:32:15,312 --> 00:32:19,312 Chlo... 507 00:32:20,032 --> 00:32:24,032 Like... when you told me to stop worrying about you. 508 00:32:25,712 --> 00:32:28,112 Well, I knew then that you were leaving. 509 00:32:28,112 --> 00:32:29,712 Yeah. 510 00:32:29,712 --> 00:32:33,712 Everyone's leaving, aren't they? 511 00:32:35,632 --> 00:32:39,632 The gang'll stay in touch, for a bit, but... 512 00:32:39,632 --> 00:32:43,632 Well... 513 00:32:45,832 --> 00:32:49,832 It's just life, isn't it? 514 00:32:51,352 --> 00:32:55,312 But me and you, right... 515 00:32:55,312 --> 00:32:57,432 ... we are Chloe and Rae. 516 00:32:57,432 --> 00:33:01,192 We're not the gang. 517 00:33:01,192 --> 00:33:03,872 And if I go to Bristol... 518 00:33:03,872 --> 00:33:05,832 ... then you can just come and visit. 519 00:33:05,832 --> 00:33:08,072 Yeah? 520 00:33:08,072 --> 00:33:10,272 Yeah, that'll be good. 521 00:33:10,272 --> 00:33:14,272 It doesn't matter where we are or what we're doing... 522 00:33:14,392 --> 00:33:18,392 ... I promise we are always gonna be Chloe and Rae. 523 00:33:18,632 --> 00:33:21,832 Yeah? 524 00:33:21,832 --> 00:33:23,072 Yeah. 525 00:33:23,072 --> 00:33:26,592 - Yeah? - Yeah. 526 00:33:26,592 --> 00:33:28,392 Chloe... 527 00:33:28,392 --> 00:33:29,752 What? 528 00:33:29,752 --> 00:33:33,752 I spent ages on this make-up and you've made me cry! 529 00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:36,232 No, you made me cry! 530 00:33:36,232 --> 00:33:38,592 No, I was fine. It was you. 531 00:33:38,592 --> 00:33:40,512 Are you gonna go get ready, then? 532 00:33:40,512 --> 00:33:42,112 Yeah. 533 00:33:42,112 --> 00:33:44,712 And can I borrow some eyeliner or something? 534 00:33:44,712 --> 00:33:48,712 - Yeah, I'll do your make-up. - Thank you. 535 00:33:49,872 --> 00:33:52,232 Izzy, what's happened to your arm? 536 00:33:52,232 --> 00:33:54,912 Oh, it's better now. I'll take it off in a minute. 537 00:33:54,912 --> 00:33:57,192 It clashes with my dress. 538 00:33:57,192 --> 00:34:01,192 Here he is. 539 00:34:01,472 --> 00:34:04,632 My date. 540 00:34:04,632 --> 00:34:07,352 - You all look gorgeous. - Hello! 541 00:34:07,352 --> 00:34:09,232 Mwah! 542 00:34:09,232 --> 00:34:11,912 Look at him. He's total lush. 543 00:34:11,912 --> 00:34:13,912 Hurry up, knobhead. 544 00:34:13,912 --> 00:34:16,152 Right, let's do this. 545 00:34:16,152 --> 00:34:17,752 Er, wait. 546 00:34:17,752 --> 00:34:20,792 Er, I know things have been a bit tricky lately, 547 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:24,352 um... but he wanted me to ask, so... 548 00:34:24,352 --> 00:34:27,992 Uh, if Finn and you may be able to be mates in the future... 549 00:34:27,992 --> 00:34:30,232 Archie, can we not do this now, please? 550 00:34:30,232 --> 00:34:32,672 To be honest, Raemundo, he kind of needs to know now. 551 00:34:32,672 --> 00:34:35,912 Cab's cost him a right fortune. 552 00:34:38,752 --> 00:34:42,752 MUSIC: Careless Whisper by Wham! 553 00:34:42,753 --> 00:34:47,066 _ 554 00:34:48,952 --> 00:34:51,832 Finn Nelson... late, not invited, 555 00:34:51,832 --> 00:34:55,472 taking his life in his own hands just by being here 556 00:34:55,472 --> 00:34:57,672 and looking beyond sexy in a tuxedo, 557 00:34:57,672 --> 00:35:01,672 which, Dear Diary, is not the point. 558 00:35:05,512 --> 00:35:07,992 - Izzy! - Sorry. 559 00:35:07,992 --> 00:35:11,992 Archie! 560 00:35:13,352 --> 00:35:14,592 Well, this was awkward. 561 00:35:15,712 --> 00:35:19,152 MUSIC: Never Ever by All Saints 562 00:35:21,152 --> 00:35:25,152 - Rae, I, um... I... I kissed Katie... - Finn... It's fine. 563 00:35:25,592 --> 00:35:28,032 No, it's not. 564 00:35:28,032 --> 00:35:31,712 I hurt you, and... 565 00:35:31,712 --> 00:35:35,192 ... I'm sorry. 566 00:35:35,192 --> 00:35:37,472 You spend all this time saying how... 567 00:35:37,472 --> 00:35:41,472 how you're not good enough for me, but I'm not good enough for you. 568 00:35:43,192 --> 00:35:46,432 I'm no better than any of the other 19-year-old knobheads out there. 569 00:35:46,432 --> 00:35:49,312 Are you criticising my taste in men now, or what? 570 00:35:49,312 --> 00:35:52,212 I'm serious, Rae. 571 00:35:53,312 --> 00:35:55,212 I let you down. 572 00:35:55,312 --> 00:35:59,032 Listen... 573 00:35:59,032 --> 00:36:03,032 ... I shouldn't have made out that you were Mr Perfect. 574 00:36:04,792 --> 00:36:07,572 It wasn't fair. 575 00:36:08,272 --> 00:36:11,232 But me and you... 576 00:36:11,232 --> 00:36:15,232 ... we're going to be all right. 577 00:36:15,872 --> 00:36:19,872 And you know why, don't you? 578 00:36:19,992 --> 00:36:22,792 Cos me and you, we... 579 00:36:22,792 --> 00:36:26,792 ... we don't always have to be an "us". 580 00:36:27,232 --> 00:36:30,472 And just because we're not together now, Finn Nelson... 581 00:36:30,472 --> 00:36:33,632 doesn't mean that we'll never be. 582 00:36:33,632 --> 00:36:34,912 OK? 583 00:36:34,912 --> 00:36:38,752 Yeah. 584 00:36:38,752 --> 00:36:42,632 If it all goes tits-up in Bristol... 585 00:36:42,632 --> 00:36:46,432 ... you know where to find me, don't you? 586 00:36:46,432 --> 00:36:48,392 Finn, if... 587 00:36:48,392 --> 00:36:51,192 if it goes tits-up in Bristol... 588 00:36:51,192 --> 00:36:54,072 ... then... 589 00:36:54,072 --> 00:36:58,072 ... well, I'm just going to have to figure it out on my own. 590 00:37:05,232 --> 00:37:08,912 Can I have... one last kiss? 591 00:37:08,912 --> 00:37:12,912 Just to say goodbye. 592 00:37:13,792 --> 00:37:16,672 No. 593 00:37:16,672 --> 00:37:20,672 A kiss would be a backward step, wouldn't it? 594 00:37:23,352 --> 00:37:26,592 Shall we have a drink? 595 00:37:26,592 --> 00:37:28,672 Come on, it's meant to be a party. 596 00:37:28,672 --> 00:37:30,392 - Cheers. - M'dear. 597 00:37:30,392 --> 00:37:34,392 - M'dear! - M'dear. 598 00:37:34,888 --> 00:37:38,888 MUSIC: No Matter What by Boyzone 599 00:37:40,848 --> 00:37:43,848 I wasn't going to melt into his arms. 600 00:37:43,848 --> 00:37:47,848 But I did want to be with him in that moment. 601 00:37:48,488 --> 00:37:52,488 Even if Boyzone were playing. 602 00:38:01,848 --> 00:38:05,848 I've got something to show you. 603 00:38:10,368 --> 00:38:11,968 What?! 604 00:38:11,968 --> 00:38:15,408 Oh, Izzy! 605 00:38:15,408 --> 00:38:18,288 - Look what Izzy's got. - It matches Chop's. 606 00:38:18,288 --> 00:38:20,128 No! Are you joking me? 607 00:38:20,128 --> 00:38:23,328 - Izzy! - Do you love it? 608 00:38:23,328 --> 00:38:25,008 - Will you get one? - No! 609 00:38:25,008 --> 00:38:28,008 We should all get the same one. 610 00:38:28,008 --> 00:38:30,848 Stan Ford forever! 611 00:39:02,208 --> 00:39:04,168 Here we go. 612 00:39:04,168 --> 00:39:07,208 16 electric whiskies. 613 00:39:07,208 --> 00:39:10,288 - Who's playing here tonight, then, Danny? - Go on, Uncle Archie, mate! 614 00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:17,768 I'd like to dedicate this song to my best mates. 615 00:39:19,648 --> 00:39:21,088 Whoever they go on to be. 616 00:39:28,048 --> 00:39:29,688 * Happiness * 617 00:39:29,688 --> 00:39:31,248 * More or less * 618 00:39:31,248 --> 00:39:34,848 * It's just a change in me * * Something in my liberty * 619 00:39:34,848 --> 00:39:38,848 * Oh, my, my * 620 00:39:41,448 --> 00:39:44,608 * Happiness * * Coming and going * 621 00:39:44,608 --> 00:39:48,408 * I watch you look at me * * Watch my fever growing, I know * 622 00:39:48,408 --> 00:39:52,408 * Just where I am * 623 00:39:53,888 --> 00:39:57,328 * How many corners do I have to turn? * 624 00:39:57,328 --> 00:40:00,688 * How many times do I have to learn * 625 00:40:00,688 --> 00:40:04,688 * All the love I have is in my mind? * 626 00:40:05,768 --> 00:40:09,768 * But I'm a lucky man * 627 00:40:13,248 --> 00:40:17,248 * With fire in my hands * 628 00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:24,168 * But I'm a lucky man * 629 00:40:26,488 --> 00:40:30,488 * Fire in my hands * 630 00:40:33,168 --> 00:40:36,288 * I'm a lucky man... * 631 00:40:36,288 --> 00:40:38,168 None of us knew what was coming next, 632 00:40:38,168 --> 00:40:40,568 or who we would become. 633 00:40:40,568 --> 00:40:43,448 * Fire in my hands... * 634 00:40:43,448 --> 00:40:46,888 We just knew that being together was the best way of saying goodbye. 635 00:40:46,888 --> 00:40:48,448 _ 636 00:40:48,448 --> 00:40:50,888 * Happiness * * Something in my own place * 637 00:40:50,888 --> 00:40:54,488 * I'm stood here naked * * Smiling, I feel no disgrace * 638 00:40:54,488 --> 00:40:58,488 * With who I am... * 639 00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:03,088 Izzy got three Cs. More than enough to go and do 640 00:41:03,088 --> 00:41:05,968 textiles at Peterborough College of Design. 641 00:41:05,968 --> 00:41:09,968 Rachel Earl. 642 00:41:10,168 --> 00:41:14,168 And Chloe did way better than anyone expected. 643 00:41:14,808 --> 00:41:18,728 In her retakes, that is. 644 00:41:18,728 --> 00:41:20,768 I didn't open mine straightaway. 645 00:41:20,768 --> 00:41:24,208 I had more important things to do. 646 00:41:35,688 --> 00:41:39,688 We've still got one session left. 647 00:41:42,128 --> 00:41:46,128 As I was walking over here, a bird took a dump and just missed me. 648 00:41:46,208 --> 00:41:49,328 Just missed my head. 649 00:41:49,328 --> 00:41:52,648 So I like to think that, given what happened the very first time we met, 650 00:41:52,648 --> 00:41:54,888 that I've made some progress. 651 00:41:54,888 --> 00:41:58,888 Well, maybe it's the pigeon that's changed. 652 00:42:09,608 --> 00:42:11,328 So what did you need? 653 00:42:11,328 --> 00:42:14,248 To get into Bristol? 654 00:42:14,248 --> 00:42:18,248 Two As and a B. 655 00:42:21,728 --> 00:42:25,728 Congratulations. 656 00:42:38,328 --> 00:42:42,328 There you go. 657 00:42:44,648 --> 00:42:48,048 - See ya. - No, not if I see you first. 658 00:43:21,008 --> 00:43:25,008 Karim asked me to make sure you didn't forget your chain. 659 00:43:51,608 --> 00:43:54,208 Dear Diary... That's the secret, I reckon. 660 00:43:56,928 --> 00:44:00,928 You don't need fixed ideas about who you are or where you're headed. 661 00:44:08,568 --> 00:44:12,568 You don't need offers or grades or stamps of approval. 662 00:44:33,408 --> 00:44:37,248 You just need to be ready to cope with whatever crap comes your way. 663 00:44:44,728 --> 00:44:47,528 And as for all the crazy shit... 664 00:44:49,648 --> 00:44:52,288 ... the mental screw-ups and the madness... 665 00:44:56,088 --> 00:44:58,808 ... well, that's mine, Dear Diary. 666 00:45:01,288 --> 00:45:03,688 I get to keep that. 667 00:45:13,568 --> 00:45:15,488 That travels with me. 668 00:45:37,059 --> 00:45:42,009 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -