1 00:00:03,021 --> 00:00:03,921 >> AND HE KEEPS COMING WITH THE 2 00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:04,721 BOXES. 3 00:00:04,721 --> 00:00:06,354 ON THIS EPISODE OF BIG ANG... 4 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:07,588 I SAID, "MOVE IN, ONE OR TWO 5 00:00:07,588 --> 00:00:08,421 THINGS." 6 00:00:08,421 --> 00:00:09,721 HE CAME WITH A TRUCKLOAD 7 00:00:09,721 --> 00:00:10,888 OF [bleep]! 8 00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:12,088 >> THAT'S A DISGRAZIA. 9 00:00:12,088 --> 00:00:13,488 >> THE BIGGEST PROBLEM I HAVE IS 10 00:00:13,488 --> 00:00:14,688 YOUR SMOKING AND DRINKING. 11 00:00:14,688 --> 00:00:16,621 >> NO SMOKING, NO DRINKING, 12 00:00:16,621 --> 00:00:18,388 AND EXERCISING EVERY DAY. 13 00:00:18,388 --> 00:00:19,521 WHOA! 14 00:00:19,521 --> 00:00:21,521 LET'S GO TENNIS. 15 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:22,921 >> SHOT, SHOT, SHOT, SHOT. 16 00:00:22,921 --> 00:00:24,121 >> THIS IS HARDER THAN I'VE 17 00:00:24,121 --> 00:00:26,221 EVER THOUGHT. 18 00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:27,221 [spliced-up techno music] 19 00:00:27,221 --> 00:00:28,221 >> * I LIKE THE WISE GUYS 20 00:00:28,221 --> 00:00:29,254 * THE WISE GUYS 21 00:00:29,254 --> 00:00:29,988 * I WANT THAT 22 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:30,754 * I WANNA HAVE FUN 23 00:00:30,754 --> 00:00:31,488 * AND GET WHACKED 24 00:00:31,488 --> 00:00:33,354 * OH, MY GOD 25 00:00:33,354 --> 00:00:35,354 * I-I LIKE THE WISE GUYS 26 00:00:35,354 --> 00:00:36,921 * THE--THE WISE GUYS 27 00:00:36,921 --> 00:00:38,521 * I-I LIKE THE WISE GUYS 28 00:00:38,521 --> 00:00:40,521 * I-I-I LOVE LOVE DIAMONDS 29 00:00:40,521 --> 00:00:42,688 * I WANT A MASSAGE, FACIAL 30 00:00:42,688 --> 00:00:43,488 * GET SPRAY TANNED 31 00:00:43,488 --> 00:00:44,888 * GET SPRAY TANNED 32 00:00:44,888 --> 00:00:46,688 * A MASSAGE, FACIAL 33 00:00:46,688 --> 00:00:48,354 * EVERYBODY LOVES ME 34 00:00:56,688 --> 00:00:58,121 >> I DECIDED TO LET MY HUSBAND 35 00:00:58,121 --> 00:00:59,788 NEIL MOVE BACK IN 'CAUSE HE 36 00:00:59,788 --> 00:01:01,954 REALLY IS A GOOD GUY, AND I'M 37 00:01:01,954 --> 00:01:05,088 GONNA GIVE HIM A THIRD CHANCE. 38 00:01:05,088 --> 00:01:06,154 >> KNOW WHAT WOULD BE NICE NOW 39 00:01:06,154 --> 00:01:06,921 THAT I'M HOME? 40 00:01:06,921 --> 00:01:08,154 NICE POT OF SAUCE. 41 00:01:08,154 --> 00:01:10,221 >> YEAH, OKAY, LISTEN TO ME. 42 00:01:10,221 --> 00:01:11,188 >> THAT WOULD BE A PERFECT 43 00:01:11,188 --> 00:01:12,588 WELCOME-HOME PRESENT. 44 00:01:12,588 --> 00:01:14,821 >> ME AND NEIL ARE ALMOST 45 00:01:14,821 --> 00:01:16,588 13 YEARS APART. 46 00:01:16,588 --> 00:01:18,254 ANOTHER BABY I INHERITED. 47 00:01:18,254 --> 00:01:20,754 I'M THE MOTHER OF EVERYBODY. 48 00:01:20,754 --> 00:01:22,754 JENNIFER, NEIL, MY OWN KIDS. 49 00:01:22,754 --> 00:01:24,288 I CAN'T! 50 00:01:24,288 --> 00:01:25,588 AND HE KEEPS COMING WITH THE 51 00:01:25,588 --> 00:01:26,954 BOXES. 52 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,621 ALREADY THIS AIN'T WORKING OUT. 53 00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:29,888 I SAID, "MOVE IN, ONE OR TWO 54 00:01:29,888 --> 00:01:30,654 THINGS." 55 00:01:30,654 --> 00:01:32,154 HE CAME WITH A TRUCKLOAD 56 00:01:32,154 --> 00:01:35,188 OF [bleep]! 57 00:01:35,188 --> 00:01:36,954 >> LOUIE, STOP. 58 00:01:36,954 --> 00:01:38,088 >> HE'S WONDERING WHAT THE 59 00:01:38,088 --> 00:01:39,454 HELL'S GOING ON TOO. 60 00:01:39,454 --> 00:01:41,388 TRUST ME. 61 00:01:41,388 --> 00:01:42,521 >> EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE. 62 00:01:42,521 --> 00:01:43,821 DON'T YOU WORRY. 63 00:01:43,821 --> 00:01:44,954 >> I HOPE THIS AIN'T A MISTAKE 64 00:01:44,954 --> 00:01:47,688 AGAIN. 65 00:01:47,688 --> 00:01:50,888 >> WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? 66 00:01:50,888 --> 00:01:53,354 >> OH, MY GOD! 67 00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:54,354 I CAN'T HAVE THIS! 68 00:01:54,354 --> 00:01:55,088 >> WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO 69 00:01:55,088 --> 00:01:55,688 WITH IT? 70 00:01:55,688 --> 00:01:56,788 >> NO, NO. NO, NO. 71 00:01:56,788 --> 00:01:58,088 JUST THE THOUGHT AND THE LOOK 72 00:01:58,088 --> 00:02:00,388 OF THAT RIGHT NOW--OH, NO! 73 00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:01,288 >> WELL, I ONLY GOT ONE BOX 74 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,154 LEFT. 75 00:02:02,154 --> 00:02:03,254 >> OH, DON'T EVEN BRING IT IN. 76 00:02:03,254 --> 00:02:04,454 >> SO START PUTTING IT AWAY. 77 00:02:04,454 --> 00:02:05,688 >> KEEP IT IN YOUR CAR. 78 00:02:05,688 --> 00:02:06,654 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH 79 00:02:06,654 --> 00:02:07,488 IT. 80 00:02:07,488 --> 00:02:08,688 SO IF THIS DON'T WORK THIS TIME, 81 00:02:08,688 --> 00:02:09,554 THAT'S IT. 82 00:02:09,554 --> 00:02:10,588 >> IT'S GONNA WORK. 83 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,088 >> I WILL NEVER EVER DO THIS 84 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,721 AGAIN OR TRY AGAIN. 85 00:02:13,721 --> 00:02:14,554 THAT'S IT. 86 00:02:14,554 --> 00:02:16,321 THIRD TIME, YOU'RE OUT. 87 00:02:16,321 --> 00:02:18,321 >> THIRD TIME'S A CHARM. 88 00:02:18,321 --> 00:02:19,154 IT'S GONNA WORK. 89 00:02:19,154 --> 00:02:20,454 >> AFTER BEING THROWN OUT TWO 90 00:02:20,454 --> 00:02:21,521 TIMES ALREADY, YOU THINK YOU 91 00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:23,521 FIGURED IT OUT AFTER THE FIRST 92 00:02:23,521 --> 00:02:25,988 TIME. 93 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,621 WITH NEIL MOVING BACK IN, 94 00:02:35,621 --> 00:02:36,754 MY STRESS IS THROUGH THE [bleep] 95 00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:37,588 ROOF. 96 00:02:37,588 --> 00:02:39,254 AND MY SISTER'S ON TO ME-- 97 00:02:39,254 --> 00:02:40,221 "GOTTA GO TO THE HEART DOCTOR. 98 00:02:40,221 --> 00:02:41,754 GOTTA GO TO THE HEART DOCTOR." 99 00:02:41,754 --> 00:02:43,121 SO I'M FINALLY GOING TO THE 100 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,388 CARDIOLOGIST. 101 00:02:44,388 --> 00:02:45,521 >> HOW TALL ARE YOU? 102 00:02:45,521 --> 00:02:46,288 >> 5'9". 103 00:02:46,288 --> 00:02:47,554 >> WHEN WAS YOUR LAST MAMMOGRAM? 104 00:02:47,554 --> 00:02:48,388 >> JANUARY. 105 00:02:48,388 --> 00:02:49,154 >> GOOD. 106 00:02:49,154 --> 00:02:50,088 >> EVERYTHING'S UP TO DATE. 107 00:02:50,088 --> 00:02:51,721 I AM A HYPOCHONDRIAC. 108 00:02:51,721 --> 00:02:52,588 >> I'M GONNA GIVE YOU STOOL 109 00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:53,388 CARDS. 110 00:02:53,388 --> 00:02:54,188 YOU TAKE 'EM HOME, YOU DO IT 111 00:02:54,188 --> 00:02:55,921 AT HOME, YOU MAIL IT BACK TO US. 112 00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:56,854 >> THAT'S GROSS. 113 00:02:56,854 --> 00:02:58,154 HOW THE [bleep] DO YOU MAIL 114 00:02:58,154 --> 00:02:59,088 [bleep]? 115 00:02:59,088 --> 00:03:01,288 I DON'T GET IT. 116 00:03:01,288 --> 00:03:02,754 ALL OF A SUDDEN, I'M GETTING 117 00:03:02,754 --> 00:03:03,921 PULLED FOR RARE BLOOD TESTS. 118 00:03:03,921 --> 00:03:05,754 [bleep] THINGS ON MY ANKLES. 119 00:03:05,754 --> 00:03:07,254 MY FOOT HERE, MY ARM THERE. 120 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:08,454 I FEEL LIKE A RAG DOLL. 121 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:09,654 EVERYBODY'S PULLING ME ALL OVER. 122 00:03:09,654 --> 00:03:11,688 AND THEY GOT BALLS IN MY FACE. 123 00:03:11,688 --> 00:03:12,821 IT'S LIKE A HORROR SHOW RIGHT 124 00:03:12,821 --> 00:03:13,788 NOW. 125 00:03:13,788 --> 00:03:14,821 HELLO. 126 00:03:14,821 --> 00:03:15,788 >> HEY, COME ON IN. 127 00:03:15,788 --> 00:03:17,421 COME ON, AND YOU SURVIVED, SEE? 128 00:03:17,421 --> 00:03:18,221 VERY NICE. 129 00:03:18,221 --> 00:03:19,488 LET'S TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING. 130 00:03:19,488 --> 00:03:20,554 YOU'VE NEVER HAD ANY HEART 131 00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:21,721 PROBLEMS BEFORE, HAVE YOU? 132 00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:22,488 >> NO. 133 00:03:22,488 --> 00:03:23,554 BUT MY FRIEND WENT TO THIS 134 00:03:23,554 --> 00:03:25,954 PSYCHIC RECENTLY, AND THEY HAVE 135 00:03:25,954 --> 00:03:27,288 ONE OF MY PICTURES. 136 00:03:27,288 --> 00:03:28,621 AND THEY SAID, "WHO'S THAT?" 137 00:03:28,621 --> 00:03:29,721 SHE SAID, "THAT'S BIG ANG." 138 00:03:29,721 --> 00:03:31,654 "SHE SHOULD GO TO THE DOCTOR. 139 00:03:31,654 --> 00:03:32,688 SHE'S GONNA HAVE A HEART 140 00:03:32,688 --> 00:03:33,554 ATTACK." 141 00:03:33,554 --> 00:03:34,621 EVER SINCE SHE TOLD ME THAT, 142 00:03:34,621 --> 00:03:35,688 EVERY WEEK, I THINK I'M HAVING A 143 00:03:35,688 --> 00:03:36,821 HEART ATTACK. 144 00:03:36,821 --> 00:03:37,888 MY ARM IS ALWAYS NUMB. 145 00:03:37,888 --> 00:03:39,654 IT'S HURTING AS WE SPEAK. 146 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:40,721 THE OTHER DAY, I WAS HAVING 147 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,688 REALLY BAD CHEST PAINS. 148 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:42,654 LIKE BURNING. 149 00:03:42,654 --> 00:03:43,621 >> DID YOU FEEL SHORT OF BREATH 150 00:03:43,621 --> 00:03:44,688 AT ALL, DID YOU HAVE TROUBLE 151 00:03:44,688 --> 00:03:45,821 BREATHING, DID YOU SWEAT? 152 00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:46,888 >> NO. 153 00:03:46,888 --> 00:03:48,188 AND IF I DID SWEAT, I COULD'VE 154 00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:49,454 BEEN GETTING A HOT FLASH. 155 00:03:49,454 --> 00:03:51,188 [laughs] 156 00:03:51,188 --> 00:03:52,821 >> YOUR EXAM WAS NORMAL. 157 00:03:52,821 --> 00:03:53,988 ALL RIGHT, THE BIGGEST PROBLEM 158 00:03:53,988 --> 00:03:55,288 THAT I HAVE IS YOUR SMOKING AND 159 00:03:55,288 --> 00:03:56,621 DRINKING. 160 00:03:56,621 --> 00:03:57,621 YOU'VE GOTTA WORK ON CUTTING 161 00:03:57,621 --> 00:03:58,454 THAT OUT. 162 00:03:58,454 --> 00:04:00,154 YOU GOTTA STOP SMOKING. 163 00:04:00,154 --> 00:04:02,154 YOUR LIFESTYLE--IT SUCKS. 164 00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:02,988 >> REALLY? 165 00:04:02,988 --> 00:04:04,788 I ONLY DRINK WINE--THIS, THAT. 166 00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:05,654 NOTHING MAJOR. 167 00:04:05,654 --> 00:04:06,521 >> AT LEAST IF YOU CUT IN HALF 168 00:04:06,521 --> 00:04:07,954 RIGHT NOW. 169 00:04:07,954 --> 00:04:09,454 BUTWE'RE GONNA SAY GOOD-BYE 170 00:04:09,454 --> 00:04:10,354 TO THE SMOKING. 171 00:04:10,354 --> 00:04:11,588 >> LISTEN, I DON'T SMOKE THAT 172 00:04:11,588 --> 00:04:12,488 MUCH. 173 00:04:12,488 --> 00:04:14,221 >> HOW MANY YEARS YOU SMOKE? 174 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,154 >> 35. 175 00:04:15,154 --> 00:04:16,154 >> I COULDN'T TELL FROM YOUR 176 00:04:16,154 --> 00:04:17,388 VOICE. 177 00:04:17,388 --> 00:04:18,454 BOTTOM LINE, THE KIND OF YEARS 178 00:04:18,454 --> 00:04:20,388 YOU SMOKE, YOU'RE GONNA BE 179 00:04:20,388 --> 00:04:22,521 LUCKY IF YOU GET A HEART ATTACK 180 00:04:22,521 --> 00:04:23,821 OR CANCER. 181 00:04:23,821 --> 00:04:24,888 YOU REALLY HAVE TO START TAKING 182 00:04:24,888 --> 00:04:27,654 CARE OF YOURSELF. 183 00:04:33,554 --> 00:04:36,088 >> ANG! 184 00:04:36,088 --> 00:04:37,354 WHERE ARE YOU? 185 00:04:37,354 --> 00:04:38,388 >> I'M IN MY ROOM, TRYING TO 186 00:04:38,388 --> 00:04:39,654 [bleep] STRAIGHTEN IT OUT AND 187 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:40,854 I CAN'T. 188 00:04:40,854 --> 00:04:41,688 >> OH, MY GOD! 189 00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:43,888 THIS IS A DISASTER. 190 00:04:43,888 --> 00:04:45,521 WHAT IS ALL THIS? 191 00:04:45,521 --> 00:04:46,488 >> THAT'S NEIL'S. 192 00:04:46,488 --> 00:04:47,221 >> AND THAT? 193 00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:48,088 >> NEIL. 194 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:48,888 >> AND THAT? 195 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:49,688 >> NEIL'S. 196 00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:51,388 HE ONLY CAME WITH TEN BOXES. 197 00:04:51,388 --> 00:04:52,221 >> LOOK AT ALL THESE FURS 198 00:04:52,221 --> 00:04:53,188 THOUGH. 199 00:04:53,188 --> 00:04:54,254 >> YEAH, I GOT A FURRIER GOING 200 00:04:54,254 --> 00:04:55,254 ON. 201 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,521 WHAT CAN I SAY? 202 00:04:56,521 --> 00:04:57,354 I LOVE FURS. 203 00:04:57,354 --> 00:04:58,688 I HAVE 30 OF THEM. 204 00:04:58,688 --> 00:04:59,788 IT'S LIKE HAVING MY OWN LITTLE 205 00:04:59,788 --> 00:05:01,088 ZOO. 206 00:05:01,088 --> 00:05:02,388 THERE'S CLOTHES EVERYWHERE, 207 00:05:02,388 --> 00:05:03,488 EVERYWHERE. 208 00:05:03,488 --> 00:05:04,321 THAT'S A MIRROR. 209 00:05:04,321 --> 00:05:05,321 WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW IT'S A 210 00:05:05,321 --> 00:05:05,988 MIRROR? 211 00:05:05,988 --> 00:05:06,754 IT'S COVERED. 212 00:05:06,754 --> 00:05:07,821 >> THAT'S A DISGRAZIA. 213 00:05:07,821 --> 00:05:08,988 >> THIS HOUSE IS CLOSING IN ON 214 00:05:08,988 --> 00:05:09,888 ME. 215 00:05:09,888 --> 00:05:10,954 IT [bleep] MAKES ME HAVE A 216 00:05:10,954 --> 00:05:11,821 HEART ATTACK. 217 00:05:11,821 --> 00:05:12,688 AND THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I HAVE 218 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,088 TO QUIT SMOKING SMOKE. 219 00:05:14,088 --> 00:05:15,154 I'M GONNA SMOKE TWO AT A TIME 220 00:05:15,154 --> 00:05:15,988 NOW. 221 00:05:15,988 --> 00:05:17,388 I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A BIGGER 222 00:05:17,388 --> 00:05:18,788 [bleep] HOUSE. 223 00:05:18,788 --> 00:05:20,354 'CAUSE BETWEEN ME AND NEIL, 224 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,154 WE'RE LIKE [bleep] TWO DINOSAURS 225 00:05:22,154 --> 00:05:23,221 WITH OUR HEADS STICKING OVER 226 00:05:23,221 --> 00:05:24,154 THE ROOF. 227 00:05:24,154 --> 00:05:26,521 WE NEED SPACE! 228 00:05:26,521 --> 00:05:28,088 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 229 00:05:28,088 --> 00:05:29,621 I WAS DRIVING DOWN THE BLOCK AND 230 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,188 I SEEN THIS HOUSE, AND IT'S HAD 231 00:05:32,188 --> 00:05:34,088 "FOR SALE" SIGN ON IT, AND I 232 00:05:34,088 --> 00:05:35,554 REALLY, REALLY THINK IT'S 233 00:05:35,554 --> 00:05:36,354 PERFECT FOR ME. 234 00:05:36,354 --> 00:05:37,188 >> WHAT'D IT LOOK LIKE? 235 00:05:37,188 --> 00:05:38,121 >> FROM THE OUTSIDE, IT'S GOT 236 00:05:38,121 --> 00:05:39,988 THAT BIG STAIRCASE, TWO 237 00:05:39,988 --> 00:05:42,454 DRIVEWAYS, AND A BIG PALM TREE 238 00:05:42,454 --> 00:05:43,654 STICKING OUT OF THE YARD. 239 00:05:43,654 --> 00:05:45,121 OH! I LOVE PALM TREES. 240 00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:46,488 >> WELL, LET'S GO LOOK AT IT. 241 00:05:46,488 --> 00:05:47,554 >> I NEED BIG, BIG. 242 00:05:47,554 --> 00:05:48,721 EVERYTHING BIG. 243 00:05:48,721 --> 00:05:50,321 BIG ANG, BIG THINGS. 244 00:05:50,321 --> 00:05:50,988 >> YES. 245 00:05:50,988 --> 00:05:52,588 >> BIG HOUSE! 246 00:05:52,588 --> 00:05:56,121 THIS IS THE PARTY PLACE FOR ME. 247 00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,421 I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! 248 00:05:57,421 --> 00:05:58,488 >> HOW LONG ARE YOU NOT SMOKING, 249 00:05:58,488 --> 00:05:59,254 FIVE DAYS? 250 00:05:59,254 --> 00:06:00,388 >> TWO [bleep] DAYS. 251 00:06:00,388 --> 00:06:01,788 >> TWO DAYS, THAT'S IT? 252 00:06:01,788 --> 00:06:03,088 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT. 253 00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:04,921 >> I NEED TO SMOKE. 254 00:06:13,121 --> 00:06:14,288 >> THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I HAVE TO 255 00:06:14,288 --> 00:06:15,821 CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE, OR I'M IN 256 00:06:15,821 --> 00:06:16,954 TROUBLE. 257 00:06:16,954 --> 00:06:18,254 EVEN THOUGH I LOVE TO SMOKE, 258 00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:19,988 I DON'T WANNA DROP DEAD. 259 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,088 SO I DECIDED TO GO ON A ONE-WEEK 260 00:06:22,088 --> 00:06:23,488 DETOX. 261 00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:25,454 NO SMOKING, NO DRINKING, AND 262 00:06:25,454 --> 00:06:27,554 EXERCISING EVERY DAY. 263 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,954 GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT THIS'LL BE 264 00:06:28,954 --> 00:06:29,988 LIKE. 265 00:06:29,988 --> 00:06:30,954 OH, GOD. 266 00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:31,621 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 267 00:06:31,621 --> 00:06:32,788 >> NOT THIS, I HOPE. 268 00:06:32,788 --> 00:06:33,654 >> WHY? 269 00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:36,121 >> IT LOOKS...EXHAUSTING. 270 00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:37,888 MY BARTENDER ANTHONY'S SUCH A 271 00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:39,088 GYM RAT. 272 00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:40,854 HE'S GONNA HELP ME GET FIT. 273 00:06:40,854 --> 00:06:41,921 >> WANNA GO DO SOME ARMS, CHEST? 274 00:06:41,921 --> 00:06:42,788 WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO? 275 00:06:42,788 --> 00:06:43,921 >> I LIKE THIS THING. 276 00:06:43,921 --> 00:06:45,554 IT'S LIKE, "WHOA! 277 00:06:45,554 --> 00:06:46,721 WHOA!" 278 00:06:46,721 --> 00:06:47,588 >> COME ON, SERIOUSLY, THOUGH. 279 00:06:47,588 --> 00:06:48,588 WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO? 280 00:06:48,588 --> 00:06:50,221 >> I GOTTA WORK ON MY ARMS. 281 00:06:50,221 --> 00:06:51,621 LOOK, THEY'RE FREAKIN' MUSHY. 282 00:06:51,621 --> 00:06:52,354 >> WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING YOUR 283 00:06:52,354 --> 00:06:53,121 WHOLE LIFE, LIKE, TO LOOK LIKE 284 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:53,888 THIS? 285 00:06:53,888 --> 00:06:55,154 >> I JUST RUN AROUND A LOT. 286 00:06:55,154 --> 00:06:56,921 I NEVER STOP. 287 00:06:56,921 --> 00:06:57,988 >> THAT'S NOT HEALTHY. 288 00:06:57,988 --> 00:06:59,754 THAT'S--YOU'RE STAYING SKINNY BY 289 00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:00,821 STRESSING. 290 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,388 >> I AM NOT A SLEEPER. 291 00:07:03,388 --> 00:07:05,088 I WORK A LOT. 292 00:07:05,088 --> 00:07:06,554 ALL CRAZY HOURS. 293 00:07:06,554 --> 00:07:08,088 I BURN OFF THE FAT. 294 00:07:08,088 --> 00:07:09,488 THE LAST TIME I WENT TO THE GYM, 295 00:07:09,488 --> 00:07:11,154 THE GYM CAME TO ME. 296 00:07:11,154 --> 00:07:12,254 IN MY HOUSE, WHEN I WAS UNDER 297 00:07:12,254 --> 00:07:14,154 HOUSE ARREST, I HAD A TRAINER. 298 00:07:14,154 --> 00:07:15,988 BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GET 299 00:07:15,988 --> 00:07:17,754 TO THE GYM ANYMORE. 300 00:07:17,754 --> 00:07:19,254 GIVE ME PLASTIC SURGERY. 301 00:07:19,254 --> 00:07:20,921 MUCH EASIER. 302 00:07:20,921 --> 00:07:22,221 THIS IS HARD. 303 00:07:22,221 --> 00:07:22,954 >> LISTEN, IT'S NOT GONNA BE 304 00:07:22,954 --> 00:07:24,088 EASY. 305 00:07:24,088 --> 00:07:26,554 >> I LIKE THE FUN MACHINES. 306 00:07:26,554 --> 00:07:28,554 >> THIS IS THE BOOB BLASTER. 307 00:07:28,554 --> 00:07:30,188 >> I SURELY DON'T NEED THAT. 308 00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:31,788 >> PUSH FORWARD AND SQUEEZE. 309 00:07:31,788 --> 00:07:32,554 >> SQUEEZE! 310 00:07:32,554 --> 00:07:33,688 >> HOW'S THAT? SQUEEZE. 311 00:07:33,688 --> 00:07:34,421 >> SQUEEZE. 312 00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,488 >> SQUEEZE. 313 00:07:36,488 --> 00:07:37,588 DONE? 314 00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:39,088 >> I'M DONE WITH THIS STUFF. 315 00:07:39,088 --> 00:07:40,088 >> WATCH YOUR ARMS. 316 00:07:40,088 --> 00:07:41,288 >> GOING TO THE GYM IS LIKE 317 00:07:41,288 --> 00:07:43,254 SLOW [bleep] DEATH. 318 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,721 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 319 00:07:44,721 --> 00:07:45,921 I DON'T WANNA SIT HERE. 320 00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:47,521 I'M BORED, BORING. 321 00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:50,621 I HAVE NO TIME, ZERO PATIENCE, 322 00:07:50,621 --> 00:07:51,654 AND I [bleep] HATE EVERYTHING 323 00:07:51,654 --> 00:07:52,421 ABOUT IT. 324 00:07:52,421 --> 00:07:54,288 WHAT POSSESSED ME TO DO THIS? 325 00:07:54,288 --> 00:07:56,454 I'LL NEVER KNOW. 326 00:07:56,454 --> 00:07:57,654 YOU'RE KILLING ME. 327 00:08:05,521 --> 00:08:07,321 >> WOW, IT'S REALLY NICE. 328 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:08,754 >> I'VE BEEN LIKE A NINJA 329 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,088 SCOPING OUT THIS HOUSE, AND 330 00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:11,454 TODAY, I'M FINALLY GONNA GET 331 00:08:11,454 --> 00:08:13,388 TO SEE IT. 332 00:08:13,388 --> 00:08:14,554 >> WELCOME, LADIES. 333 00:08:14,554 --> 00:08:15,354 COME ON IN. 334 00:08:15,354 --> 00:08:17,554 >> WOW! 335 00:08:17,554 --> 00:08:19,221 NOW WE'RE TALKING. 336 00:08:19,221 --> 00:08:21,121 SPACIOUS! 337 00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:22,621 BACK IN THE OLD DAYS WHEN I WAS 338 00:08:22,621 --> 00:08:24,354 DATING WISE GUYS, THEY USED TO 339 00:08:24,354 --> 00:08:26,088 BUY ME MANSIONS ON THE WATER. 340 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,588 BUT ALL MY HOUSES THAT THEY GAVE 341 00:08:27,588 --> 00:08:29,654 ME, I SOLD. 342 00:08:29,654 --> 00:08:30,954 NO MORE WISE GUYS, NO MORE 343 00:08:30,954 --> 00:08:32,254 HOUSES. 344 00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:34,088 NOW I GOTTA BUY MY OWN [bleep]. 345 00:08:34,088 --> 00:08:35,321 AND WHAT IS THIS? 346 00:08:35,321 --> 00:08:40,088 OOH! THIS IS MY STAGE, YEAH! 347 00:08:40,088 --> 00:08:41,921 I'M GONNA SING ON THIS. 348 00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:43,621 HELLO! 349 00:08:43,621 --> 00:08:45,088 LET'S GET--YEAH! 350 00:08:45,088 --> 00:08:46,354 MAYBE I'M GONNA PUT A POLE, 351 00:08:46,354 --> 00:08:50,088 DO POLE DANCING. 352 00:08:50,088 --> 00:08:52,421 >> THE BEDROOMS ARE HUGE. 353 00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:53,421 >> SHOW HER SOME CLOSETS, 354 00:08:53,421 --> 00:08:54,488 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT SHE NEEDS. 355 00:08:54,488 --> 00:08:55,621 >> PLENTY OF CLOSET SPACE. 356 00:08:55,621 --> 00:08:57,288 >> WHOA! 357 00:08:57,288 --> 00:08:58,488 >> THIS IS LIKE THREE TIMES THE 358 00:08:58,488 --> 00:08:59,654 SIZE. 359 00:08:59,654 --> 00:09:01,554 >> AND FOR YOUR CLOTHES. 360 00:09:01,554 --> 00:09:02,821 >> AH! 361 00:09:02,821 --> 00:09:03,488 NOW SEE? 362 00:09:03,488 --> 00:09:04,888 THIS HERE CLOSET, I LIKE. 363 00:09:04,888 --> 00:09:06,188 I NEED, LIKE, THREE OF THESE 364 00:09:06,188 --> 00:09:07,288 CLOSETS. 365 00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:09,654 I HAVE ABOUT 500 PAIRS OF SHOES, 366 00:09:09,654 --> 00:09:12,154 300 POCKETBOOKS, 200 HATS. 367 00:09:12,154 --> 00:09:13,688 I CAN'T FIT ANOTHER [bleep] 368 00:09:13,688 --> 00:09:15,488 THING IN MY HOUSE AND I THINK 369 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,188 THIS HOUSE HAS PLENTY OF ROOM. 370 00:09:17,188 --> 00:09:18,254 >> OKAY, LET ME SHOW YOU THE 371 00:09:18,254 --> 00:09:19,721 BEST PART OF THE HOUSE NOW. 372 00:09:19,721 --> 00:09:22,188 >> OH, MY GOD! 373 00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:24,121 NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING 374 00:09:24,121 --> 00:09:25,121 ABOUT. 375 00:09:25,121 --> 00:09:26,388 >> WOW, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 376 00:09:26,388 --> 00:09:28,621 >> THIS IS DEFINITELY THE PARTY 377 00:09:28,621 --> 00:09:30,421 PLACE FOR ME! 378 00:09:30,421 --> 00:09:33,088 OH! LOOK AT THIS. 379 00:09:33,088 --> 00:09:35,588 WHAT COULD I GET YOU TO DRINK? 380 00:09:35,588 --> 00:09:36,821 NOW SEE HOW NICE THIS IS AT 381 00:09:36,821 --> 00:09:38,254 NIGHT? 382 00:09:38,254 --> 00:09:39,921 ROMANTIC. 383 00:09:39,921 --> 00:09:42,288 I'LL BE LIKE, "NEIL, GIVE ME A 384 00:09:42,288 --> 00:09:45,188 MARTUNI AND BRING IT TO ME IN 385 00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:46,788 THE JACUZZI." 386 00:09:46,788 --> 00:09:48,354 >> [chuckles] 387 00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,088 I LOVE IT. 388 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:49,921 >> AND HURRY UP, 'CAUSE YOU'RE 389 00:09:49,921 --> 00:09:52,088 IN FOR A SURPRISE. 390 00:09:52,088 --> 00:09:53,988 >> EXCUSE ME? 391 00:09:53,988 --> 00:09:54,921 >> WHAT DO YOU THINK? 392 00:09:54,921 --> 00:09:55,821 >> I WANT IT! I WANT IT! 393 00:09:55,821 --> 00:09:56,821 I WANT IT! I WANT IT! 394 00:09:56,821 --> 00:09:57,921 I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES, 395 00:09:57,921 --> 00:09:59,254 I GOTTA LIVE HERE. 396 00:09:59,254 --> 00:10:02,954 AND I LOVE THESE PALM TREES. 397 00:10:02,954 --> 00:10:04,121 THIS IS THE [bleep] HOUSE FOR 398 00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:04,788 ME. 399 00:10:04,788 --> 00:10:05,954 I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT COSTS 400 00:10:05,954 --> 00:10:06,621 A MONTH. 401 00:10:06,621 --> 00:10:08,254 WHEN I WANT SOMETHING, I GET IT. 402 00:10:08,254 --> 00:10:08,988 >> I'LL BE TALKING TO YOU. 403 00:10:08,988 --> 00:10:09,821 >> TALK TO YOU IN 24 HOURS. 404 00:10:09,821 --> 00:10:10,588 >> I'LL CALL YOU, OKAY? 405 00:10:10,588 --> 00:10:11,988 >> OKAY, BYE, DAVE. 406 00:10:11,988 --> 00:10:12,954 >> THANKS FOR COMING. 407 00:10:12,954 --> 00:10:14,588 >> I REALLY LOVE THIS HOUSE. 408 00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:15,454 I NEED TO LIVE HERE. 409 00:10:15,454 --> 00:10:16,121 >> OH, WOULD YOU STOP THE 410 00:10:16,121 --> 00:10:16,854 MOANING ALREADY? 411 00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:17,721 >> YEAH, WELL, I'M SICK OF 412 00:10:17,721 --> 00:10:18,721 LIVING WHERE I LIVE. 413 00:10:18,721 --> 00:10:19,521 >> I'M SICK OF HEARING YOUR 414 00:10:19,521 --> 00:10:20,788 MOUTH. 415 00:10:25,788 --> 00:10:27,821 >> SO WHAT ARE WE SHOPPING FOR? 416 00:10:27,821 --> 00:10:29,154 >> I GUESS WE'LL BE SHOPPING 417 00:10:29,154 --> 00:10:30,888 FOR SOME WORKOUT CLOTHES. 418 00:10:30,888 --> 00:10:33,488 >> OH, MAYBE SOME YOGA CLOTHES. 419 00:10:33,488 --> 00:10:34,388 >> I DON'T THINK SO. 420 00:10:34,388 --> 00:10:35,754 >> COME ON. 421 00:10:35,754 --> 00:10:37,354 >> I NEED SOMETHING EXCITING. 422 00:10:37,354 --> 00:10:39,088 THE [bleep] GYM IS NOT FOR ME. 423 00:10:39,088 --> 00:10:40,454 I NEED TO FIND A WORKOUT THAT'S 424 00:10:40,454 --> 00:10:43,554 MORE MY STYLE, MAYBE TENNIS. 425 00:10:43,554 --> 00:10:44,788 PHOO-PHOO, PHOO-PHOO. 426 00:10:44,788 --> 00:10:45,788 CHEE-CHOO. 427 00:10:48,988 --> 00:10:50,088 YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T BEEN 428 00:10:50,088 --> 00:10:51,088 SMOKING. 429 00:10:51,088 --> 00:10:52,221 >> FOR HOW LONG? 430 00:10:52,221 --> 00:10:53,321 >> SINCE MONDAY. 431 00:10:53,321 --> 00:10:55,188 >> REALLY? HUH. 432 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,254 THAT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE, 433 00:10:56,254 --> 00:10:57,621 ANGELA. 434 00:10:57,621 --> 00:10:59,188 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 435 00:10:59,188 --> 00:11:00,388 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD JUST THINK 436 00:11:00,388 --> 00:11:01,488 ABOUT YOGA BEFORE YOU SLICE IT 437 00:11:01,488 --> 00:11:02,288 UP. 438 00:11:02,288 --> 00:11:03,354 IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT "OM" AND 439 00:11:03,354 --> 00:11:05,821 "OM." 440 00:11:05,821 --> 00:11:07,521 >> JENNIFER--SHE HAS A LICENSE 441 00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:08,354 IN YOGA. 442 00:11:08,354 --> 00:11:09,488 SO SHE WANTS TO TORTURE 443 00:11:09,488 --> 00:11:10,521 EVERYBODY. 444 00:11:10,521 --> 00:11:11,554 YOGA IS NOT FOR ME. 445 00:11:11,554 --> 00:11:13,154 I THINK IT'S A CRAZY CULT. 446 00:11:13,154 --> 00:11:14,221 >> WHAT I WOULD DO WITH YOU 447 00:11:14,221 --> 00:11:15,754 WOULD BE THE RESTORATIVE YOGA. 448 00:11:15,754 --> 00:11:17,521 JUST TEACHING YOU HOW TO RELAX. 449 00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:18,688 YOU LEARN HOW TO CONTROL YOUR 450 00:11:18,688 --> 00:11:19,921 BREATH. 451 00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,321 >> THERE GOES DROP-DEAD JEN 452 00:11:21,321 --> 00:11:23,088 AGAIN, GOING ON AND ON ABOUT 453 00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:25,388 THIS [bleep] YOGA. 454 00:11:25,388 --> 00:11:26,454 GET OVER IT, I DON'T WANNA DO 455 00:11:26,454 --> 00:11:27,554 YOGA! 456 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,454 >> DO YOU GUYS NEED HELP WITH 457 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:29,288 ANYTHING? 458 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:30,088 >> WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR TENNIS? 459 00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:32,254 I AM A [bleep] SHOPPING FANATIC. 460 00:11:32,254 --> 00:11:34,088 IF SHOPPING WAS A SPORT, I'D 461 00:11:34,088 --> 00:11:36,088 BE IN GREAT SHAPE RIGHT NOW. 462 00:11:36,088 --> 00:11:37,321 OOH, LOOK AT THESE. 463 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:40,854 SHOP-SHOP, SHOP-SHOP, SHOP. 464 00:11:40,854 --> 00:11:42,388 >> TENNIS ANYONE? 465 00:11:42,388 --> 00:11:43,688 CAN I WEAR HEELS? 466 00:11:43,688 --> 00:11:45,688 WHAT? LET ME SEE THE COOLIE. 467 00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:47,288 OH, MY GOD, LOOK HOW NICE YOU 468 00:11:47,288 --> 00:11:48,254 LOOK. 469 00:11:48,254 --> 00:11:49,621 >> LET'S SEE YOUR SHORTS. 470 00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:50,421 >> OH! 471 00:11:50,421 --> 00:11:52,688 CAMEL TOE. 472 00:11:52,688 --> 00:11:53,621 >> OH! 473 00:11:53,621 --> 00:11:54,388 >> I LIKE IT. 474 00:11:54,388 --> 00:11:55,421 >> GUESS WHAT. 475 00:11:55,421 --> 00:11:56,721 >> I LIKE IT. 476 00:11:56,721 --> 00:11:57,921 REALLY, I LOVE IT. 477 00:11:57,921 --> 00:11:59,688 LOOK HOW PRETTY MY GIRLS LOOK. 478 00:11:59,688 --> 00:12:01,888 >> AND GUESS WHAT THIS HAS. 479 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,621 THE POCKET FOR MY TENNIS BALL. 480 00:12:04,621 --> 00:12:05,988 HELLO! 481 00:12:05,988 --> 00:12:07,454 >> IT'S NOT THE ONLY BALLS 482 00:12:07,454 --> 00:12:09,788 YOU'LL HAVE IN THERE. 483 00:12:13,488 --> 00:12:16,388 [cheering] 484 00:12:19,621 --> 00:12:20,621 >> WANT A SHOT? 485 00:12:20,621 --> 00:12:21,921 >> I WANT A SHOT. 486 00:12:24,954 --> 00:12:25,954 >> HI, ANG! 487 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,588 WHAT ARE WE MAKING? 488 00:12:27,588 --> 00:12:29,088 >> MAKING SHOTS. 489 00:12:29,088 --> 00:12:30,988 >> LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. 490 00:12:30,988 --> 00:12:32,588 HOW DO YOU WORK IN A BAR... 491 00:12:32,588 --> 00:12:33,988 NOT SMOKE AND NOT DRINK? 492 00:12:33,988 --> 00:12:34,754 >> I DON'T KNOW. 493 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,654 WHAT THE [bleep] WAS I THINKING? 494 00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:36,454 >> I DON'T KNOW. 495 00:12:36,454 --> 00:12:37,388 >> FIRST DAY WORKING SINCE I 496 00:12:37,388 --> 00:12:38,921 STARTED MY HEALTH KICK. 497 00:12:38,921 --> 00:12:40,421 I FEEL LIKE I'M FIENDING RIGHT 498 00:12:40,421 --> 00:12:42,454 NOW, WATCHING EVERYBODY DRINKING 499 00:12:42,454 --> 00:12:43,521 AND SMOKING. 500 00:12:43,521 --> 00:12:44,288 [exhales sharply] 501 00:12:44,288 --> 00:12:45,388 I NEED TO SMOKE. 502 00:12:45,388 --> 00:12:46,588 I OWN A BAR. 503 00:12:46,588 --> 00:12:47,654 I NEED TO DRINK, I NEED TO 504 00:12:47,654 --> 00:12:48,388 SMOKE. 505 00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:49,288 GOES ALONG WITH THE [bleep] 506 00:12:49,288 --> 00:12:50,454 PROGRAM. 507 00:12:50,454 --> 00:12:52,521 YOU DRINK, YOU SMOKE IN A BAR. 508 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,954 THAT'S JUST REALLY THE DEAL. 509 00:12:53,954 --> 00:12:55,721 I AM SNAPPING! 510 00:12:59,221 --> 00:13:00,421 >> HOW LONG ARE YOU NOT SMOKING, 511 00:13:00,421 --> 00:13:01,188 FIVE DAYS? 512 00:13:01,188 --> 00:13:02,321 >> TWO [bleep] DAYS. 513 00:13:02,321 --> 00:13:03,754 >> TWO DAYS? THAT'S IT? 514 00:13:03,754 --> 00:13:04,688 >> I KNOW. 515 00:13:04,688 --> 00:13:05,821 >> YOU'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT. 516 00:13:05,821 --> 00:13:06,888 COME ON. 517 00:13:06,888 --> 00:13:07,721 MAKE HER A DRINK AND GIVE HER 518 00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:08,754 A CIGARETTE, PLEASE. 519 00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:09,754 >> NO! NO! 520 00:13:09,754 --> 00:13:10,954 >> JASON! 521 00:13:10,954 --> 00:13:12,588 >> I DON'T WANT IT! 522 00:13:12,588 --> 00:13:13,654 LINDA'S REALLY NOT HELPING ME 523 00:13:13,654 --> 00:13:14,521 RIGHT NOW. 524 00:13:14,521 --> 00:13:15,588 SHE'S LIKE THE LITTLE DEVIL ON 525 00:13:15,588 --> 00:13:16,354 MY SHOULDER. 526 00:13:16,354 --> 00:13:17,288 >> YOU WANT IT. 527 00:13:17,288 --> 00:13:18,654 >> YOU'RE BEING VERY MEAN. 528 00:13:18,654 --> 00:13:19,588 THANK YOU, LINDA. 529 00:13:19,588 --> 00:13:22,721 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY NO! 530 00:13:22,721 --> 00:13:24,321 GOD! 531 00:13:24,321 --> 00:13:26,121 >> THIS IS A BIG TEMPTATION 532 00:13:26,121 --> 00:13:27,088 FOR YOU. 533 00:13:27,088 --> 00:13:28,154 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU EVEN DID 534 00:13:28,154 --> 00:13:29,321 TWO DAYS. 535 00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:31,088 TRUST ME, THIS IS JUST A PHASE 536 00:13:31,088 --> 00:13:31,921 SHE'S GOING THROUGH. 537 00:13:31,921 --> 00:13:33,288 SHE'S GOES THROUGH PHASES EVERY 538 00:13:33,288 --> 00:13:34,088 ONCE IN A WHILE. 539 00:13:34,088 --> 00:13:35,421 SHE'LL GET OVER IT. 540 00:13:35,421 --> 00:13:36,788 >> I CAN DO WHATEVER I SAY I'M 541 00:13:36,788 --> 00:13:38,121 GONNA DO. 542 00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:40,154 AND I WILL PROVE IT. 543 00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:41,888 BUT I'M GONNA HANDLE THIS THE 544 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:42,854 RIGHT WAY. 545 00:13:42,854 --> 00:13:45,821 >> TAKE A VALIUM. 546 00:13:45,821 --> 00:13:48,088 >> LET'S GO TENNIS! 547 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:48,821 >> YOU GUYS HAVE ANY ATHLETIC 548 00:13:48,821 --> 00:13:49,554 BACKGROUND? 549 00:13:49,554 --> 00:13:50,754 >> STICKBALL? 550 00:13:50,754 --> 00:13:51,688 >> STICKBALL? 551 00:13:51,688 --> 00:13:52,521 >> YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT 552 00:13:52,521 --> 00:13:53,654 BALLS I'VE PLAYED WITH. 553 00:13:53,654 --> 00:13:55,088 >> I GOTCHA. 554 00:13:55,088 --> 00:13:56,421 >> WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO FIRST 555 00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:57,488 IS WE'RE GONNA INSERT THE 556 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,154 SPECULUM. 557 00:13:59,154 --> 00:14:00,154 >> THAT BIG THING? 558 00:14:00,154 --> 00:14:02,288 I DON'T THINK SO! 559 00:14:02,288 --> 00:14:03,921 THIS HURTS! 560 00:14:10,688 --> 00:14:11,488 >> ALL RIGHT, ANG, YOU READY 561 00:14:11,488 --> 00:14:13,754 FOR OUR BIG TENNIS LESSON? 562 00:14:13,754 --> 00:14:14,954 >> NOT REALLY. 563 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,188 >> COME ON, WE'LL HAVE FUN. 564 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,288 >> IT'S DAY THREE WITH THE 565 00:14:17,288 --> 00:14:18,121 DETOX. 566 00:14:18,121 --> 00:14:20,121 GOD KNOWS THIS IS TORTURE. 567 00:14:20,121 --> 00:14:21,454 >> I WONDER WHAT THIS INSTRUCTOR 568 00:14:21,454 --> 00:14:22,321 LOOKS LIKE. 569 00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:23,988 >> HE'S PROBABLY CUTE. 570 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,121 >> I HOPE SO. 571 00:14:25,121 --> 00:14:26,988 >> I NEVER PLAYED TENNIS BEFORE. 572 00:14:26,988 --> 00:14:27,954 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS. 573 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,888 I DON'T WANNA LOOK LIKE A FOOL. 574 00:14:29,888 --> 00:14:31,821 OH, GOD, I SEE HIM RIGHT THERE. 575 00:14:31,821 --> 00:14:33,188 >> OH, HE'S NICE AND TALL. 576 00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:34,454 THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU. 577 00:14:34,454 --> 00:14:35,788 WHERE'S THE ENTRANCE? 578 00:14:35,788 --> 00:14:38,488 >> THROUGH HERE, LADIES. 579 00:14:38,488 --> 00:14:39,321 >> HI. 580 00:14:39,321 --> 00:14:40,621 >> MY NAME IS SERGIO. 581 00:14:40,621 --> 00:14:41,688 >> ANGELA. 582 00:14:41,688 --> 00:14:42,521 >> NICE TO MEET YOU. 583 00:14:42,521 --> 00:14:43,354 >> JEN. HOW ARE YOU, DOLL? 584 00:14:43,354 --> 00:14:44,288 >> YOU GUYS LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 585 00:14:44,288 --> 00:14:44,954 >> both: THANK YOU. 586 00:14:44,954 --> 00:14:45,621 >> OKAY. 587 00:14:45,621 --> 00:14:46,721 >> I SEE SERGIO. 588 00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:49,221 I'M ALREADY HAPPY WITH TENNIS. 589 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,088 >> YOU GUYS HAVE ANY ATHLETIC 590 00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:51,088 BACKGROUND? 591 00:14:51,088 --> 00:14:52,388 >> I HAVE ZERO. 592 00:14:52,388 --> 00:14:53,588 >> STICKBALL? 593 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:54,254 >> STICKBALL? 594 00:14:54,254 --> 00:14:55,154 >> STOOP-BALL, HANDBALL. 595 00:14:55,154 --> 00:14:55,954 >> IT'S VERY SIMILAR. 596 00:14:55,954 --> 00:14:57,154 AS LONG AS YOU PLAY WITH SOME 597 00:14:57,154 --> 00:14:58,388 TYPE OF SPORT THAT HAS TO DO 598 00:14:58,388 --> 00:14:59,088 WITH BALLS. 599 00:14:59,088 --> 00:14:59,821 >> YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT 600 00:14:59,821 --> 00:15:01,088 BALLS I'VE PLAYED WITH. 601 00:15:01,088 --> 00:15:02,121 >> I GOTCHA. 602 00:15:02,121 --> 00:15:02,821 WE'RE GONNA START AT THE 603 00:15:02,821 --> 00:15:03,554 BASELINE. 604 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:04,721 FIRST THING WE DO--IF THE BALL'S 605 00:15:04,721 --> 00:15:05,921 GOING TO THE RIGHT, WE TURN OUR 606 00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:06,888 SHOULDERS TO THE RIGHT. 607 00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:08,121 IF THE BALL'S GOING TO THE LEFT, 608 00:15:08,121 --> 00:15:08,888 WE TURN OUR SHOULDERS TO THE 609 00:15:08,888 --> 00:15:09,554 LEFT. 610 00:15:09,554 --> 00:15:10,354 HAVE FUN, ENJOY YOURSELF. 611 00:15:10,354 --> 00:15:11,254 YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 612 00:15:11,254 --> 00:15:11,988 THEREFORE, YOU HAVE TO PLAY 613 00:15:11,988 --> 00:15:12,654 BEAUTIFUL. 614 00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:14,754 ANGELA, EASY! 615 00:15:14,754 --> 00:15:15,521 DON'T RUSH, DON'T RUSH. 616 00:15:15,521 --> 00:15:16,621 YOU HAVE ANOTHER, LOOK. 617 00:15:16,621 --> 00:15:17,621 IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, DON'T 618 00:15:17,621 --> 00:15:18,288 WORRY ABOUT IT. 619 00:15:18,288 --> 00:15:19,121 JUST TRY TO REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD 620 00:15:19,121 --> 00:15:19,754 YOU. 621 00:15:19,754 --> 00:15:20,488 >> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS 622 00:15:20,488 --> 00:15:21,754 [bleep] TENNIS. 623 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,121 SEEMS A LITTLE HARD. 624 00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,321 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS 625 00:15:24,321 --> 00:15:24,988 [bleep]. 626 00:15:24,988 --> 00:15:25,788 >> JUST SLOWLY. 627 00:15:25,788 --> 00:15:27,521 REAL SLOW, REAL SLOW. 628 00:15:27,521 --> 00:15:28,321 EXCELLENT! 629 00:15:28,321 --> 00:15:29,121 EXCELLENT, GOOD. 630 00:15:29,121 --> 00:15:30,388 JUST FINISH OVER YOUR SHOULDER. 631 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,354 >> I DID IT! 632 00:15:32,354 --> 00:15:33,088 >> TWIST. 633 00:15:33,088 --> 00:15:33,888 NOW ONE HAND, TURN YOUR 634 00:15:33,888 --> 00:15:35,588 SHOULDERS TOWARDS THE BALL. 635 00:15:35,588 --> 00:15:37,254 I GOT THIS, GET READY. 636 00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:38,088 GET READY. 637 00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:39,488 SMALL STEPS, SMALL STEPS. 638 00:15:39,488 --> 00:15:40,288 YOU GOT IT. 639 00:15:40,288 --> 00:15:42,354 >> ANGELA, YOU'RE FREAKIN' GOOD! 640 00:15:42,354 --> 00:15:43,154 >> VERY NICE! 641 00:15:43,154 --> 00:15:44,388 >> I AM IN SHOCK. 642 00:15:44,388 --> 00:15:45,121 >> NICE. 643 00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:46,221 >> YOU'RE COORDINATED. 644 00:15:46,221 --> 00:15:48,321 >> YEAH, DON'T BE JEALOUS! 645 00:15:48,321 --> 00:15:49,454 >> SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S BEEN 646 00:15:49,454 --> 00:15:50,521 PLAYING TENNIS AS LONG AS SHE'S 647 00:15:50,521 --> 00:15:52,121 BEEN [bleep] SMOKING. 648 00:15:52,121 --> 00:15:53,321 >> HEY, I'M NOT THAT BAD AT 649 00:15:53,321 --> 00:15:54,188 TENNIS. 650 00:15:54,188 --> 00:15:56,088 MAYBE THIS SHOULD BE MY HOBBY. 651 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,454 LET'S GO TENNIS! 652 00:15:58,454 --> 00:16:00,388 >> TWO MORE, TWO MORE! 653 00:16:00,388 --> 00:16:01,754 >> THIS IS A WORKOUT. 654 00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:02,654 >> LAST ONE, COME ON! 655 00:16:02,654 --> 00:16:04,221 FOR STATEN ISLAND, LET'S GO! 656 00:16:04,221 --> 00:16:05,154 >> UGH! 657 00:16:05,154 --> 00:16:06,121 >> THAT'S VERY NICE, YOU LOOK 658 00:16:06,121 --> 00:16:06,754 GOOD DOING IT. 659 00:16:06,754 --> 00:16:07,421 I LOVE IT! 660 00:16:07,421 --> 00:16:08,988 >> SERGIO WAS BEING VERY NICE, 661 00:16:08,988 --> 00:16:10,621 SAYING HOW BEAUTIFUL WE LOOKED. 662 00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:12,188 BUT THEN AGAIN, ALL GUYS FLIRT 663 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,721 WITH ME. 664 00:16:13,721 --> 00:16:14,788 >> WE HAVE GOOD CHEMISTRY, THE 665 00:16:14,788 --> 00:16:15,554 THREE OF US. 666 00:16:15,554 --> 00:16:16,388 >> VERY NICE. 667 00:16:16,388 --> 00:16:17,254 >> THIS IS A NICE, UH, MENAGE 668 00:16:17,254 --> 00:16:18,088 A TROIS. 669 00:16:18,088 --> 00:16:18,688 >> VERY NICE. 670 00:16:18,688 --> 00:16:19,921 NO, I'M GOOD. 671 00:16:19,921 --> 00:16:21,388 VERY NICE. 672 00:16:25,788 --> 00:16:27,388 >> OKAY, SO WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO 673 00:16:27,388 --> 00:16:29,121 IS YOU'LL USE THE RESTROOM, 674 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,754 YOU'LL EMPTY YOUR BLADDER. 675 00:16:30,754 --> 00:16:32,421 >> AFTER TENNIS, I'M FEELING 676 00:16:32,421 --> 00:16:33,988 BETTER ABOUT MYSELF. 677 00:16:33,988 --> 00:16:35,521 NOW I WANNA GET MY INSIDES 678 00:16:35,521 --> 00:16:36,554 CLEANED OUT. 679 00:16:36,554 --> 00:16:38,221 I HEARD COLONICS IS A FAST 680 00:16:38,221 --> 00:16:40,621 AND EASY FIX, AND I LOVE QUICK 681 00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:42,288 FIXES. 682 00:16:42,288 --> 00:16:43,754 >> WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO FIRST, 683 00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:45,621 ANGELA, IS, UM, WE'RE GONNA 684 00:16:45,621 --> 00:16:50,088 INSERT THE SPECULUM. 685 00:16:50,088 --> 00:16:52,088 >> UH, EXCUSE ME? 686 00:16:52,088 --> 00:16:53,354 WHAT IS THAT? 687 00:16:53,354 --> 00:16:55,588 THAT BIG THING? 688 00:16:55,588 --> 00:16:57,821 I DON'T THINK SO! 689 00:16:57,821 --> 00:16:59,088 >> THERE'S A LOTTA LUBE ON THERE 690 00:16:59,088 --> 00:17:00,488 FOR YOU. 691 00:17:00,488 --> 00:17:02,288 >> I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE THE 692 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,988 SIZE OF A [bleep] STRAW. 693 00:17:04,988 --> 00:17:06,454 THAT THING WAS THE SIZE OF A 694 00:17:06,454 --> 00:17:08,488 MICROPHONE! 695 00:17:08,488 --> 00:17:10,888 >> TAKE SOME SLOW, DEEP BREATHS. 696 00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:12,121 >> THIS HURTS. 697 00:17:12,121 --> 00:17:13,788 BACK UP, SWEETIE. 698 00:17:13,788 --> 00:17:14,588 >> WANT ME TO SEE IF I HAVE A 699 00:17:14,588 --> 00:17:15,654 SMALLER SPECULUM? 700 00:17:15,654 --> 00:17:16,521 >> YEAH, I DON'T LIKE THAT 701 00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:17,754 THING, IT'S TOO BIG. 702 00:17:17,754 --> 00:17:18,821 >> OKAY. 703 00:17:18,821 --> 00:17:19,588 >> I HAVE A LITTLE BUTT, I NEED 704 00:17:19,588 --> 00:17:20,854 A LITTLE ONE. 705 00:17:20,854 --> 00:17:22,088 >> OKAY, THIS IS OUR CHILD 706 00:17:22,088 --> 00:17:22,821 SPECULUM. 707 00:17:22,821 --> 00:17:23,854 >> OH, THAT ONE I LIKE. 708 00:17:23,854 --> 00:17:24,854 >> SO WE'RE GONNA GIVE THIS 709 00:17:24,854 --> 00:17:28,121 ANOTHER WHIRL. 710 00:17:28,121 --> 00:17:29,721 >> THIS HURTS! 711 00:17:29,721 --> 00:17:31,288 OH, I CAN'T DO THIS. 712 00:17:31,288 --> 00:17:32,354 THIS HEALTHY [bleep] IS NOT FOR 713 00:17:32,354 --> 00:17:33,154 ME. 714 00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:34,921 I DON'T NEED NO TUBE IN MY ASS. 715 00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:36,921 I NEED A CIGARETTE IN MY MOUTH 716 00:17:36,921 --> 00:17:38,321 AND A DRINK IN MY HAND. 717 00:17:38,321 --> 00:17:39,088 I DON'T WANT THIS. 718 00:17:39,088 --> 00:17:39,654 >> OKAY. 719 00:17:39,654 --> 00:17:40,654 >> I DON'T HAVE TO BE TORTURED. 720 00:17:40,654 --> 00:17:41,621 >> OKAY. 721 00:17:41,621 --> 00:17:42,854 >> I DON'T EVEN GET DOWN LIKE 722 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,221 THIS IN MY BEDROOM. 723 00:17:44,221 --> 00:17:47,221 EXIT ONLY, MOTHER[bleep]. 724 00:17:47,221 --> 00:17:49,354 >> SO WE'RE DOING SHOTS TONIGHT? 725 00:17:49,354 --> 00:17:50,121 >> I CAN'T DRINK. 726 00:17:50,121 --> 00:17:51,254 >> SHOT, SHOT, SHOT-SHOT, 727 00:17:51,254 --> 00:17:52,488 SHOT-SHOT. 728 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,454 >> THIS IS HARDER THAN I [bleep] 729 00:17:54,454 --> 00:17:56,254 EVER THOUGHT. 730 00:17:58,388 --> 00:18:05,521 HAVEN'T HAD YOUR FILL OF 731 00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:07,388 >> HELLO, GUYS! 732 00:18:07,388 --> 00:18:08,554 HOW ARE YA? 733 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:09,988 >> WERE YOU WAITING LONG? 734 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:11,654 >> TOO LONG AND WE'RE STARVING. 735 00:18:11,654 --> 00:18:12,554 >> WELL, WE'RE DRINKING, SO 736 00:18:12,554 --> 00:18:14,554 WE'RE GOOD. 737 00:18:14,554 --> 00:18:15,588 NOW, LADIES, ARE WE DOING SHOTS 738 00:18:15,588 --> 00:18:16,488 TONIGHT? 739 00:18:16,488 --> 00:18:17,654 >> I CAN'T DRINK. 740 00:18:17,654 --> 00:18:18,821 >> OH, OKAY. 741 00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:21,154 >> IT'S DAY FOUR WITH THIS DETOX 742 00:18:21,154 --> 00:18:23,088 AND I'M JUMPING OUT OF MY SKIN. 743 00:18:23,088 --> 00:18:24,821 I'M GONNA TRY TO BE MISS SOBER 744 00:18:24,821 --> 00:18:26,988 PARTY QUEEN TONIGHT. 745 00:18:26,988 --> 00:18:28,454 IT'S GONNA BE TOUGH, BUT WHO 746 00:18:28,454 --> 00:18:29,888 NEEDS CIGARETTES AND BOOZE 747 00:18:29,888 --> 00:18:32,088 WITH CRAZY FRIENDS LIKE THIS? 748 00:18:32,088 --> 00:18:33,254 I COULD DO THIS. 749 00:18:33,254 --> 00:18:34,621 >> LADIES... 750 00:18:34,621 --> 00:18:37,588 IT'S SHOT TIME. 751 00:18:37,588 --> 00:18:39,088 SHOT, SHOT, SHOT-SHOT, 752 00:18:39,088 --> 00:18:41,254 SHOT-SHOT, SHOT, SHOT-SHOT, 753 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,254 SHOT-SHOT, SHOT, SHOT-SHOT, 754 00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:44,254 SHOT-SHOT. 755 00:18:44,254 --> 00:18:45,488 >> THIS IS HARDER THAN I [bleep] 756 00:18:45,488 --> 00:18:47,421 EVER THOUGHT. 757 00:18:52,488 --> 00:18:53,488 LISTEN TO ME. 758 00:18:53,488 --> 00:18:54,888 A GIRL'S GOTTA DO WHAT A GIRL'S 759 00:18:54,888 --> 00:18:55,688 GOTTA DO. 760 00:18:55,688 --> 00:18:56,788 >> LET'S TOAST TO A CRAZY 761 00:18:56,788 --> 00:18:57,654 SUMMER! 762 00:18:57,654 --> 00:18:59,254 >> HALLELUJAH! 763 00:18:59,254 --> 00:19:01,088 WHERE'S THE BEACH? 764 00:19:01,088 --> 00:19:05,688 GO, ANGIE! 765 00:19:05,688 --> 00:19:06,454 >> WHAT CAN I SAY? 766 00:19:06,454 --> 00:19:07,121 I TRIED. 767 00:19:07,121 --> 00:19:09,988 FOUR DAYS AIN'T [bleep] BAD. 768 00:19:09,988 --> 00:19:11,721 >> MY ANGELA IS A PARTY QUEEN. 769 00:19:11,721 --> 00:19:12,788 SHE'S NOT ABOUT TO GIVE UP 770 00:19:12,788 --> 00:19:14,088 CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL. 771 00:19:14,088 --> 00:19:14,921 PLEASE! 772 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,088 SUMMER'S HERE, WE'RE READY TO 773 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:16,888 PARTY. 774 00:19:16,888 --> 00:19:20,721 >> [rolling tongue] 775 00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:22,221 >> RIGHT NOW IS BAD TIMING. 776 00:19:22,221 --> 00:19:23,088 I GOT A LOTTA [bleep] [bleep] 777 00:19:23,088 --> 00:19:24,421 GOING ON. 778 00:19:24,421 --> 00:19:25,854 THIS SUMMER, I NEED TO DRINK AND 779 00:19:25,854 --> 00:19:30,421 SMOKE. 780 00:19:30,421 --> 00:19:31,621 AHH. 781 00:19:31,621 --> 00:19:33,988 IT'S LIKE HAVING AN ORGASM. 782 00:19:37,521 --> 00:19:39,621 BIG ANG IS BACK! 783 00:19:39,621 --> 00:19:41,221 [overlapping chatter] 784 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:42,421 >> OH! 785 00:19:44,888 --> 00:19:46,488 >> NEXT TIME ON BIG ANG... 786 00:19:46,488 --> 00:19:47,888 I REALLY WANT LITTLE LOUIE 787 00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:49,088 TO BE IN A DOG SHOW. 788 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,854 LOUIE, THIS WAY. 789 00:19:50,854 --> 00:19:52,088 I DON'T THINK IT'S THAT HARD. 790 00:19:52,088 --> 00:19:53,588 LOUIE! LOUIE! 791 00:19:53,588 --> 00:19:54,688 LOUIEEE! 792 00:19:54,688 --> 00:19:55,488 [whispering] LOUIE. 793 00:19:55,488 --> 00:19:56,888 TODAY, I'M FINALLY MOVING, 794 00:19:56,888 --> 00:19:58,088 BUT IT'S A NIGHTMARE. 795 00:19:58,088 --> 00:19:59,654 THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO. 796 00:19:59,654 --> 00:20:01,588 >> OH, MY GOD! 797 00:20:01,588 --> 00:20:03,488 >> I NEED TO GO KILL MYSELF. 798 00:20:03,488 --> 00:20:04,688 >> OUR FIRST PARTY! 799 00:20:04,688 --> 00:20:06,454 LET'S BREAK THIS HOUSE IN! 800 00:20:06,454 --> 00:20:09,421 >> TIME TOP PARTY, PARTY, PARTY! 801 00:20:09,421 --> 00:20:10,588 >> OH! 802 00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:12,421 >> OH, MY GOD! 803 00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:13,021 >> SHE HAS TO GO TO THE 804 00:20:13,021 --> 00:20:13,688 HOSPITAL. 805 00:20:13,688 --> 00:20:14,621 >> SHE BROKE HER ARM? 806 00:20:14,621 --> 00:20:16,021 >> CALL THE AMBULANCE! 807 00:20:16,021 --> 00:20:17,521 [sirens]