1 00:00:02,650 --> 00:00:05,422 PETE: BUDDY, YOU THINK YOU GOT ENOUGH KETCHUP ON THAT CORN? 2 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:08,195 NO, I THINK I CAN STILL SEE SOME YELLOW. 3 00:00:08,195 --> 00:00:10,701 GOD. IT'S SO GREAT WITHOUT HILLARY. 4 00:00:10,701 --> 00:00:12,372 I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. I LOVE HER LIKE A SISTER. 5 00:00:12,372 --> 00:00:14,343 BUT THIS BOOTH IS SO MUCH ROOMIER! 6 00:00:14,343 --> 00:00:15,613 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 7 00:00:15,613 --> 00:00:18,453 [ GASPS ] OH! I GOT A TEXT FROM ALLIE! 8 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,390 [ GASPS ] OOH, A TEXT FROM A LADY. 9 00:00:20,390 --> 00:00:21,393 WHAT DOES IT SAY? 10 00:00:21,393 --> 00:00:22,830 UM, IT SAYS, "MATH SUCKS, HUH?" 11 00:00:22,830 --> 00:00:24,500 SHE'S TOTALLY INTO YOU. WHAT? 12 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,837 YEAH. THE "HUH?" TELLS YOU EVERYTHING. 13 00:00:25,837 --> 00:00:27,174 SHE COULD HAVE SAID "MATH SUCKS." 14 00:00:27,174 --> 00:00:28,677 BUT INSTEAD SHE SAID, "MATH SUCKS, HUH?" 15 00:00:28,677 --> 00:00:30,181 OH, YEAH. THAT IS BEAUTIFULLY PUT. 16 00:00:30,181 --> 00:00:31,316 REMEMBER SENTENCES? 17 00:00:31,316 --> 00:00:33,221 DO YOU LIKE ALLIE OR DO YOU LIKE LIKE HER 18 00:00:33,221 --> 00:00:34,691 OR DO YOU JUST, LIKE, LIKE HER. 19 00:00:34,691 --> 00:00:36,362 I MEAN, SHE TICKS ALL MY BOXES. 20 00:00:36,362 --> 00:00:38,233 SHE'S AWESOME, WE'RE BOTH RIGHT-HANDED, 21 00:00:38,233 --> 00:00:40,204 WE BOTH HAVE THE SAME BACKPACK, 22 00:00:40,204 --> 00:00:42,442 AND SHE'S GOT A BUTT THAT JUST DON'T QUIT. 23 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,280 SEX-AY! WHOO! 24 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,717 SEX-AY! COME ON! SEX-AY! 25 00:00:45,717 --> 00:00:47,788 UH, GUYS, IX-NAY ON THE SEX-AY. SEX-AY! 26 00:00:47,788 --> 00:00:50,161 WHAT SHOULD I TEXT BACK? OH, I-I KNOW. 27 00:00:50,161 --> 00:00:51,698 I'LL TELL HER THAT SHE WAS IN MY DREAM LAST NIGHT. 28 00:00:51,698 --> 00:00:53,669 NO. NO. 29 00:00:53,669 --> 00:00:55,707 OKAY, HERE'S WHAT YOU WRITE. "TOTES." 30 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,411 BUT NOT YET. YOU SEND IT IN AN HOUR. 31 00:00:57,411 --> 00:00:59,282 YOU HANG OUT WITH A LOT OF COOL PEOPLE. 32 00:00:59,282 --> 00:01:00,819 YOU'RE A BUSY GUY. NO, I'M NOT. 33 00:01:00,819 --> 00:01:02,322 YOU'RE DOING WAY TOO MANY THINGS 34 00:01:02,322 --> 00:01:04,896 TO BE ABLE TO TEXT BACK RIGHT AWAY. NO, I DON'T. 35 00:01:04,896 --> 00:01:07,668 OKAY, WARREN, WE KNOW THAT, BUT ALLIE DOESN'T KNOW THAT. 36 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,673 TRUST KATE ON THIS. AGAINST ALL ODDS, 37 00:01:09,673 --> 00:01:12,212 SHE LANDED A MAN 20 YEARS HER SENIOR 38 00:01:12,212 --> 00:01:13,817 WITH A BUTT THAT JUST WON'T QUIT. 39 00:01:15,119 --> 00:01:17,357 OH, MY GOD! I LOST A TOOTH! 40 00:01:17,357 --> 00:01:19,329 MY MAN! LET ME SEE! LET ME SEE! LET ME SEE! 41 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,234 ALL RIGHT! OH, MY GOD! 42 00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:24,475 IF I SUCK HARD ENOUGH, I CAN DRINK MY OWN BLOOD. 43 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,913 COOL. I LOVE LICKING THIS HOLE! 44 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,431 ♪♪♪ 45 00:01:43,352 --> 00:01:44,822 OKAY, BUDDY. YOU READY? 46 00:01:44,822 --> 00:01:47,162 [ SPEED-DIALING ] 47 00:01:47,162 --> 00:01:49,166 [ CELLPHONE RINGING ] 48 00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:58,822 [ SCOFFS ] OH. 49 00:01:58,822 --> 00:02:00,827 OOPS. 50 00:02:00,827 --> 00:02:02,463 PETE, THIS BETTER BE AN EMERGENCY 51 00:02:02,463 --> 00:02:04,903 BECAUSE I'M AT A SILENCE RETREAT IN A PHONE-FREE YURT 52 00:02:04,903 --> 00:02:07,409 AND I HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN TWO DAYS. 53 00:02:07,409 --> 00:02:08,745 MOM, I LOST MY TOOTH! 54 00:02:08,745 --> 00:02:10,416 OH, AND, JACKIE, A GIRL TEXTED ME 55 00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:12,253 AND I'M GOING TO TEXT BACK "TOTES." 56 00:02:12,253 --> 00:02:14,325 WOW! WHAT A GREAT DAY! 57 00:02:14,325 --> 00:02:15,461 OH! 58 00:02:15,461 --> 00:02:17,967 OH, BERT, BERT, YOU'RE BECOMING A MAN. 59 00:02:17,967 --> 00:02:19,805 I REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE JUST A LITTLE BABY 60 00:02:19,805 --> 00:02:21,542 ON A PLANE FLYING TO US. 61 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,647 I WILL SEE YOU TONIGHT. 62 00:02:23,647 --> 00:02:24,649 HEY. [ BEEP ] 63 00:02:24,649 --> 00:02:25,752 I LOST A TOOTH A MONTH AGO 64 00:02:25,752 --> 00:02:27,522 AND NOBODY SAID THEY WERE PROUD OF ME. 65 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,904 YOU CHIPPED YOUR TOOTH ON A CANDLE. 66 00:02:28,904 --> 00:02:30,943 [ SIGHS ] IT SMELLED LIKE CINNAMON ROLLS. 67 00:02:33,850 --> 00:02:37,158 NOW JACKIE GETS TO DO THE TOOTH FAIRY FOR THE FIRST TIME. 68 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,062 [ GROANS ] I'M NOT GONNA LIKE IT, KATE. 69 00:02:39,062 --> 00:02:40,933 WOW, I GUESS I DIDN'T REALIZE 70 00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:42,937 HOW BIG OF A DEAL LOSING A TOOTH WAS. 71 00:02:42,937 --> 00:02:44,207 YOU AND JACKIE SEEM SO EXCITED. 72 00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,112 YOU KNOW, I WANT TO BE INTO THESE MOMENTS. 73 00:02:46,112 --> 00:02:49,386 I WANT TO BE LIKE, "WHOA! LOOK AT THIS MOMENT! A TOOTH!" 74 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,056 SEE? IT JUST FEELS FORCED. 75 00:02:51,056 --> 00:02:52,828 THINGS HIT PARENTS IN DIFFERENT WAYS. 76 00:02:52,828 --> 00:02:54,298 DIANE CRIED THE FIRST TIME HILLARY TOOK 77 00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:55,935 A STANDARDIZED TEST. 78 00:02:55,935 --> 00:02:59,242 JACKIE LOST IT THE FIRST TIME BERT SAID HE LOVED INDIAN FOOD. 79 00:02:59,242 --> 00:03:02,049 AND, ME, I'M JUST -- I'M A SUCKER FOR BODY PARTS -- 80 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,856 TEETH, TOENAILS, HAIR, FORESKIN. 81 00:03:04,856 --> 00:03:07,930 NO, WAIT, UH, DIANE GOT THE FORESKIN IN THE DIVORCE. 82 00:03:07,930 --> 00:03:11,171 I GUESS SOME OF WHAT YOU SAID MADE ME FEEL BETTER. 83 00:03:12,206 --> 00:03:15,514 BAG HOLE! BAG HOLE! 84 00:03:15,514 --> 00:03:17,285 WHAT'S A BAG HOLE? ARE YOU OKAY? 85 00:03:17,285 --> 00:03:18,889 IS THIS A STROKE? WHAT? 86 00:03:18,889 --> 00:03:20,192 I MADE A SPECIAL LITTLE 87 00:03:20,192 --> 00:03:22,864 NAPKIN CARRYING CASE FOR BERT'S TOOTH. 88 00:03:22,864 --> 00:03:24,903 I PUT IT IN THIS BAG, AND NOW BAG HOLE! 89 00:03:24,903 --> 00:03:26,273 BABE, WHY DID YOU PUT IT IN A NAPKIN? 90 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,910 I WOULD HAVE PUT IT IN ONE OF THOSE LITTLE CONTAINERS 91 00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:29,647 THAT THEY PUT THE PARMESAN CHEESE IN. 92 00:03:29,647 --> 00:03:32,053 WOULD YOU? WOULD YOU HAVE? 93 00:03:32,053 --> 00:03:33,423 YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO WITH THAT TONE? 94 00:03:33,423 --> 00:03:35,929 N-NO. I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH THAT TONE. 95 00:03:35,929 --> 00:03:38,201 I -- I'M JUST -- I'M GETTING WORKED UP 96 00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:40,005 BECAUSE IF WE DON'T FIND BERT'S TOOTH, 97 00:03:40,005 --> 00:03:41,408 JACKIE'S GONNA FLIP HER LID. 98 00:03:41,408 --> 00:03:43,079 OKAY. JUST CALM DOWN. 99 00:03:43,079 --> 00:03:44,382 IF IT'S NOT IN THE BAG, 100 00:03:44,382 --> 00:03:47,022 IT'S EITHER IN YOUR CAR OR BACK AT MAMA SAUCY'S. 101 00:03:47,022 --> 00:03:48,090 YES. OKAY. 102 00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:50,362 YES. THANK YOU. BACK ON THE SAME SIDE. 103 00:03:50,362 --> 00:03:51,967 BRILLIANT. MM. 104 00:03:51,967 --> 00:03:53,437 OKAY, I'M GONNA GO BACK TO MAMA SAUCY'S. 105 00:03:53,437 --> 00:03:54,472 YOU CHECK MY CAR. 106 00:03:54,472 --> 00:03:55,976 OKAY. GO. GO! 107 00:03:55,976 --> 00:03:57,312 GO! GO! OKAY. 108 00:03:57,312 --> 00:03:59,985 THE CAR IS, LIKE, RIGHT THERE. 109 00:04:01,488 --> 00:04:03,160 OKAY, I FOUND MY SLEEPING BAG, 110 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,000 THE LIVING ROOM IS SPOTLESS, AND BREAKABLES ARE HIDDEN. 111 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,335 I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING. 112 00:04:07,335 --> 00:04:09,040 MM, WHAT SMELLS GOOD? 113 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,512 I'M TESTING OUT A NEW MULLED CIDER RECIPE. 114 00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:13,183 TOMORROW WHEN YOUR FRIENDS WALK IN, 115 00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:15,588 THEY WILL ENTER AN AROMATIC WONDERLAND. 116 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,958 MOM, YOU ARE THE BEST. 117 00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,629 WELL, IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION. 118 00:04:18,629 --> 00:04:20,266 YOUR FIRST HIGH-SCHOOL SLEEPOVER. 119 00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:22,605 I AM SO HAPPY WE'RE DOING THIS AT YOUR HOUSE. 120 00:04:22,605 --> 00:04:25,111 I MEAN, THESE ARE THE STUDENT-GOVERNMENT GIRLS. 121 00:04:25,111 --> 00:04:27,449 THEY LITERALLY RULE THE SCHOOL. 122 00:04:27,449 --> 00:04:29,254 DEMOCRATICALLY, OF COURSE. OF COURSE. 123 00:04:29,254 --> 00:04:31,058 DAD WOULD HAVE JUST ORDERED PIZZA. 124 00:04:31,058 --> 00:04:32,061 PIZZA? YEAH. 125 00:04:32,061 --> 00:04:33,029 HOW TRITE. 126 00:04:33,029 --> 00:04:34,166 RIGHT? MM-HMM. 127 00:04:34,166 --> 00:04:36,738 THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NIGHT EVER. 128 00:04:36,738 --> 00:04:38,342 BECAUSE YOU ARE THE COOLEST. 129 00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:41,048 BECAUSE WE'RE THE COOLEST. 130 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,752 [ BOTH SHRIEKING ] 131 00:04:42,752 --> 00:04:45,626 GUMMY BEAR. 132 00:04:47,229 --> 00:04:49,401 CANADIAN PENNY. 133 00:04:49,401 --> 00:04:50,738 OOH. 134 00:04:50,738 --> 00:04:52,743 SHANIA TWAIN CD? OH, HEY, KATE? 135 00:04:52,743 --> 00:04:54,045 I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT WHAT TO TEXT ALLIE. 136 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:55,215 OH. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOME GUM? 137 00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:56,785 I'D LOVE A PIECE IF YOU CAN FIND ANY. 138 00:04:56,785 --> 00:04:59,057 UH, NO. YOUR DAD LOST BERT'S TOOTH. 139 00:04:59,057 --> 00:05:00,093 EPIC NAPKIN FAIL. 140 00:05:00,093 --> 00:05:04,737 YEAH. I MEAN, TOTAL EPIC MONSTER FAIL. 141 00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:07,744 SO, UM, WHERE ARE WE AT WITH THIS SEXTING? 142 00:05:07,744 --> 00:05:09,215 OH, NO, NO. IT'S PRONOUNCED TEXTING. 143 00:05:09,215 --> 00:05:11,553 DID SHE WRITE BACK? SHE DID. 144 00:05:11,553 --> 00:05:13,758 SHE SAID, "MY BRAIN IS FRIED. WANT TO STUDY TOGETHER?" 145 00:05:13,758 --> 00:05:15,697 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA REPLY "NO" 146 00:05:15,697 --> 00:05:17,667 BECAUSE I USUALLY DO ALL MY STUDYING ON THE BUS. 147 00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:19,739 WARREN, SHE'S BASICALLY ASKING YOU FOR A DATE. 148 00:05:19,739 --> 00:05:21,777 A-A DATE? YEAH. 149 00:05:21,777 --> 00:05:23,816 [ CHUCKLES ] SO, I'LL REPLY, "COME TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW 150 00:05:23,816 --> 00:05:25,419 SO WE CAN START DATING. MY ADDRESS IS 16--" 151 00:05:25,419 --> 00:05:26,588 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. OKAY. 152 00:05:26,588 --> 00:05:27,758 LISTEN. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO. 153 00:05:27,758 --> 00:05:29,763 MM-HMM. YOU TEXT, "MY BRAIN IS FRIED, TOO. 154 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:34,240 COME BY T-M-R-W AND WE'LL KICK SOME MATH ASS," 155 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,044 UH, WITH DOLLAR SIGNS FOR THE S'S. 156 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,381 [ CHUCKLES ] 157 00:05:37,381 --> 00:05:39,819 YES! 158 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,061 SIR, IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE? 159 00:05:43,061 --> 00:05:46,101 UH, YES. YES. THERE IS. 160 00:05:46,101 --> 00:05:49,275 UH, UH, MY SON LOST HIS TOOTH EARLIER 161 00:05:49,275 --> 00:05:50,745 AND I WRAPPED IN A NAPKIN, 162 00:05:50,745 --> 00:05:54,086 PUT IT IN ONE OF YOUR POORLY DESIGNED TAKE-HOME BAGS 163 00:05:54,086 --> 00:05:58,096 AND THEN YOUR FAMOUS SAUCE SEEPED THROUGH YOUR IDIOTIC BAG 164 00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,466 AND NOW TOOTH IS LOST! 165 00:05:59,466 --> 00:06:01,403 WELL, WHY DID YOU PUT IT IN A NAPKIN? 166 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,141 I WOULD HAVE PUT IT IN MY POCKET. 167 00:06:03,141 --> 00:06:04,778 WOULD YOU? 168 00:06:04,778 --> 00:06:06,482 WOULD YOU HAVE? 169 00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:09,757 KATE. DID YOU FIND IT? NO, DID YOU FIND IT? 170 00:06:09,757 --> 00:06:11,594 I WOULDN'T ASK YOU IF YOU FOUND IT IF I'D FOUND IT. 171 00:06:11,594 --> 00:06:13,866 YOU ROCKING THAT TONE AGAIN? NO, MA'AM. 172 00:06:13,866 --> 00:06:17,107 WOW! IT'S REALLY LOST! 173 00:06:17,107 --> 00:06:18,811 OKAY, PETE, CALM DOWN. 174 00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:20,749 YEAH. YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT. 175 00:06:20,749 --> 00:06:25,226 JACKIE'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE, SO...OKAY. 176 00:06:25,226 --> 00:06:28,199 LAW SCHOOL 101. YOU'RE ABOUT TO LOSE A CASE. 177 00:06:28,199 --> 00:06:30,606 TAMPER WITH THE EVIDENCE. 178 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:35,650 HERE IT IS. 179 00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:38,323 I'VE SAVED ALL THE KIDS' BABY TEETH. 180 00:06:38,323 --> 00:06:40,395 DO THE POLICE KNOW? ONE DAY YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. 181 00:06:40,395 --> 00:06:41,632 I HOPE NOT. 182 00:06:41,632 --> 00:06:44,806 I GUESS WE CAN JUST GIVE JACKIE ONE OF THESE. 183 00:06:46,342 --> 00:06:47,512 ARE YOU CRYING? 184 00:06:47,512 --> 00:06:48,915 NO, I'M NOT CRYING. 185 00:06:48,915 --> 00:06:54,195 IT'S...IT'S JUST THAT EACH ONE OF THESE TEETH IS A STORY. 186 00:06:54,195 --> 00:06:56,834 IT'S LIKE THESE ARE THE CHAPTERS OF THEIR CHILDHOOD. 187 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:59,574 PETE, PLEASE CLOSE THE BOX. 188 00:07:03,749 --> 00:07:04,786 HEY, MY BIG BOY! 189 00:07:04,786 --> 00:07:06,623 OH! LET ME SEE. 190 00:07:06,623 --> 00:07:08,962 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ALL THE MONEY YOU GET FROM THE TOOTH FAIRY? 191 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,766 ASK ME WHEN THE MARKET OPENS. 192 00:07:10,766 --> 00:07:11,768 HA! 193 00:07:11,768 --> 00:07:12,972 ALL RIGHT. GIVE IT TO ME. 194 00:07:12,972 --> 00:07:15,611 GIVE IT TO ME. WHERE'S THAT SWEET, SWEET IVORY? 195 00:07:15,611 --> 00:07:17,282 THERE YOU GO. HAVE A GREAT TIME TONIGHT. 196 00:07:17,282 --> 00:07:18,284 [ CHUCKLES ] 197 00:07:18,284 --> 00:07:20,589 [ SNIFFS ] 198 00:07:20,589 --> 00:07:23,763 YOU DIRTY SON OF A BITCH. 199 00:07:23,763 --> 00:07:25,368 GIVE ME THE REAL TOOTH. 200 00:07:25,368 --> 00:07:26,537 WE LOST IT. 201 00:07:26,537 --> 00:07:27,873 PETE LOST IT. I LOST IT. 202 00:07:27,873 --> 00:07:29,443 AND HE TOOK A TONE WITH ME. 203 00:07:29,443 --> 00:07:30,847 YOU KNOW WHAT? KEEP YOUR TOOTH. 204 00:07:30,847 --> 00:07:34,322 I'M TAKING THE BOY. BERT, LET'S RIDE! 205 00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:36,326 THERE'S A TOOTH IN MY HAIR. 206 00:07:36,326 --> 00:07:37,496 THERE'S A TOOTH IN MY HAIR. 207 00:07:37,496 --> 00:07:38,631 GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! 208 00:07:44,746 --> 00:07:46,617 [ GASPS ] 209 00:07:46,617 --> 00:07:48,655 GEEZ, JACKIE. 210 00:07:48,655 --> 00:07:50,527 WHERE'S BERT? I LOST HIM. 211 00:07:50,527 --> 00:07:51,929 BUT DON'T WORRY. 212 00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:55,304 I REPLACED HIM WITH AN OLD ASIAN MAN THAT I KEEP IN A BOX. 213 00:07:55,304 --> 00:07:57,476 OKAY, I'M SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT AND THE WHOLE TOOTH SWAP. 214 00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:58,511 I KNOW IT WAS IMPORTANT TO YOU. 215 00:07:58,511 --> 00:07:59,848 IT'S OKAY. 216 00:07:59,848 --> 00:08:02,355 AFTER I HAD SOME TEA, SOME PINOT, A MUSCLE RELAXER, 217 00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:04,893 I CALMED DOWN AND I GOT A LITTLE POPCORN KERNEL. 218 00:08:04,893 --> 00:08:07,332 I PAINTED IT WHITE, STUFFED IT UNDER HIS PILLOW, 219 00:08:07,332 --> 00:08:09,638 AND HAD A PERFECTLY PLEASANT LITTLE TOOTH FAIRY NIGHT. 220 00:08:09,638 --> 00:08:11,041 GREAT. I'M GLAD IT WORKED OUT. 221 00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:14,349 PLUS YOU GOT TO DO SOME CRAFTS, SO IT WAS KIND OF A WIN-WIN. 222 00:08:14,349 --> 00:08:15,686 MM-HMM. 223 00:08:15,686 --> 00:08:17,991 SNAKES! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SNAKES? 224 00:08:17,991 --> 00:08:20,898 I HATE SNAKES. I HATE THEM! 225 00:08:20,898 --> 00:08:22,568 YOU SHOWED HIM "INDIANA JONES"? 226 00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:24,674 OOH, I'M GONNA GO WHIP WARREN. 227 00:08:24,674 --> 00:08:26,577 P-CHOO! P-CHOO! 228 00:08:26,577 --> 00:08:28,048 YOU KNEW THAT I WAS GONNA SHOW HIM THAT MOVIE 229 00:08:28,048 --> 00:08:29,418 ON HIS 10TH BIRTHDAY. 230 00:08:29,418 --> 00:08:31,523 IT'S ON THE SHARED CALENDAR. 231 00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:32,859 OH. 232 00:08:32,859 --> 00:08:36,000 DID I THOUGHTLESSLY RUIN A REALLY IMPORTANT FIRST FOR YOU 233 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,837 AND THEN SLOPPILY TRY TO HIDE IT? 234 00:08:37,837 --> 00:08:41,814 UGH, IF I DID [CHUCKLING] I FEEL TERRIBLE. 235 00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:43,919 OKAY. I-I-I GET IT. I SCREWED UP. 236 00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:45,856 YOU WANTED REVENGE. NOW WE'RE EVEN. 237 00:08:45,856 --> 00:08:46,859 FAIR ENOUGH. 238 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,629 HAVE A GREAT DAY. YOU TOO. 239 00:08:52,705 --> 00:08:55,379 HEY, BERT. PUT ON YOUR YOGA PANTS. 240 00:08:55,379 --> 00:08:57,918 DADDY'S GONNA TEACH YOU DOWNWARD DOG. 241 00:08:57,918 --> 00:08:58,920 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 242 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,758 OKAY. 243 00:09:00,758 --> 00:09:03,096 WELCOME TO CASA DE WARREN. HEY. 244 00:09:03,096 --> 00:09:04,968 [ CHUCKLES ] ALL RIGHT. 245 00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:06,939 MAY I TAKE YOUR COAT? MY HOODIE? 246 00:09:06,939 --> 00:09:08,910 OH, YEAH. CAN I TAKE YOUR HOODIE? NO, I'M FINE. 247 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,383 PLEASE. PLEASE JUST GIVE ME YOUR HOODIE. 248 00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,125 ALL RIGHT. COOL. AWESOME, GREAT. 249 00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:17,531 WELL, NOW THAT THAT'S DONE, 250 00:09:17,531 --> 00:09:19,368 WE CAN START STUDYING RIGHT AWAY. 251 00:09:19,368 --> 00:09:21,808 OR WE COULD JUST TALK. YOU KNOW, I'VE NOTICED YOU'RE RIGHT-HANDED. 252 00:09:21,808 --> 00:09:23,645 INTERESTINGLY, I AM, TOO. 253 00:09:23,645 --> 00:09:24,648 I'M LEFT-HANDED. 254 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,650 [ CHUCKLES ] 255 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:26,652 I MUST HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT YOU 256 00:09:26,652 --> 00:09:27,688 IN A MIRROR OR SOMETHING. 257 00:09:27,688 --> 00:09:29,659 WE SHOULD PROBABLY START STUDYING. 258 00:09:29,659 --> 00:09:30,662 TEST... YEAH, TOTALLY, TOTALLY. 259 00:09:30,662 --> 00:09:31,831 LET'S GO, UM, RIGHT OVER THERE. 260 00:09:35,573 --> 00:09:37,845 [ THUD ] 261 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:40,151 [ SIGHS ] 262 00:09:40,151 --> 00:09:41,688 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 263 00:09:41,688 --> 00:09:44,828 HILLARY, YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE. 264 00:09:44,828 --> 00:09:46,833 [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] 265 00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:52,546 HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! 266 00:09:52,546 --> 00:09:53,849 HEY! 267 00:09:53,849 --> 00:09:56,556 HAY IS FOR HORSES. 268 00:09:56,556 --> 00:09:57,758 LADIES, COME IN. 269 00:09:59,997 --> 00:10:01,000 [ SIGHS ] 270 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,572 GIRLS, THIS IS MY MOM, DR. BUCKLEY. 271 00:10:03,572 --> 00:10:05,777 BUT YOU MAY CALL ME DR. B. 272 00:10:05,777 --> 00:10:06,847 HI. HI. HI. HI. 273 00:10:06,847 --> 00:10:08,016 MAY I INTEREST YOU LADIES 274 00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:10,488 IN A LITTLE AMUSE-BOUCHE? 275 00:10:10,488 --> 00:10:11,624 OR WE COULD ORDER PIZZA. 276 00:10:11,624 --> 00:10:12,761 PIZZA'S COOL. [ CHUCKLES ] 277 00:10:12,761 --> 00:10:15,768 COOL. YOU WANT 'ZA, WE'LL GET 'ZA. 278 00:10:15,768 --> 00:10:17,672 HMM. COWABUNGA. 279 00:10:17,672 --> 00:10:18,908 WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE? 280 00:10:18,908 --> 00:10:20,779 OH, I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU GIRLS. 281 00:10:20,779 --> 00:10:22,049 I'VE ALREADY RENTED 282 00:10:22,049 --> 00:10:24,689 BOTH OF CATE BLANCHETT'S "ELIZABETHS" 283 00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:28,864 AND, IF WE WANT TO GET REALLY CRAZY, "AVIATOR." 284 00:10:28,864 --> 00:10:31,771 I BROUGHT A MOVIE. "SPAWN OF SATAN TWO." 285 00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:32,975 OOH. OOH. OOH. OOH. 286 00:10:32,975 --> 00:10:34,645 WELL, AWESOME. 287 00:10:34,645 --> 00:10:36,750 HEY, I'M GONNA GO CHANGE 288 00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:39,824 BECAUSE, UM, I JUST CAME BACK FROM A THING. 289 00:10:39,824 --> 00:10:40,826 YEAH. 290 00:10:42,731 --> 00:10:44,669 MOM, I THINK THEY WERE EXPECTING 291 00:10:44,669 --> 00:10:46,740 SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS FORMAL. 292 00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:47,776 TOTALLY. 293 00:10:47,776 --> 00:10:49,914 I'LL JUST PUT OUT THE CHARCUTERIE. 294 00:10:49,914 --> 00:10:52,587 IF THEY WANT IT, THEY CAN JUST COME GET IT. 295 00:10:52,587 --> 00:10:53,990 COOL. 296 00:10:55,594 --> 00:10:56,764 DAD, IS THIS RIGHT? 297 00:10:56,764 --> 00:10:59,871 UH, YEAH. YEAH, I THINK SO. 298 00:10:59,871 --> 00:11:01,041 THIS IS SO COOL. 299 00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:03,045 MOM DIDN'T WANT ME TO DO YOGA 300 00:11:03,045 --> 00:11:05,885 UNTIL HER SWAMI CAME BACK FROM HIS SPIRIT JOURNEY. 301 00:11:05,885 --> 00:11:07,155 WELL, I THINK SHE'LL BE FINE 302 00:11:07,155 --> 00:11:08,792 WHEN SHE SEES HOW CUTE YOU LOOK. 303 00:11:08,792 --> 00:11:10,596 I'M -- I'M GONNA TAKE A PICTURE. 304 00:11:10,596 --> 00:11:11,732 CAN YOU CC ME? 305 00:11:11,732 --> 00:11:13,704 SAY "NAMASTE!" 306 00:11:13,704 --> 00:11:15,240 NAMASTE! [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 307 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,610 WHOO! GREAT. 308 00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,081 YOU KNOW MY E-MAIL ADDRESS. OF COURSE I DO. 309 00:11:18,081 --> 00:11:19,617 WOMAN: ...DO ANYTHING! 310 00:11:19,617 --> 00:11:21,655 MAN: YOU'VE ALREADY DONE... 311 00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:23,092 OH, MY GOD. IS HE GONNA KILL HER? 312 00:11:23,092 --> 00:11:25,263 [ SCREAMING ] 313 00:11:25,263 --> 00:11:27,603 [ LAUGHING ] OH, COME ON. 314 00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:29,273 HANGING UPSIDE DOWN LIKE THAT, 315 00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:31,077 SHE WOULD HAVE LOST CONSCIOUSNESS 316 00:11:31,077 --> 00:11:34,218 WAY BEFORE GETTING STABBED IN THE FACE. 317 00:11:37,292 --> 00:11:38,695 MOM. HMM? 318 00:11:38,695 --> 00:11:40,233 CHILL, PLEASE. 319 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,803 WHERE ARE YOU? 320 00:11:41,803 --> 00:11:43,740 THIS IS SO SCARY! 321 00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:45,210 IT'S REALLY NOT. 322 00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:46,882 HE'S CLEARLY NOT GONNA KILL HER. 323 00:11:46,882 --> 00:11:48,585 I-IT'S CALLED "THE SPAWN OF SATAN." 324 00:11:48,585 --> 00:11:50,089 THAT'S THE SON OF SATAN. 325 00:11:50,089 --> 00:11:51,626 I MEAN, SHE'S PREGNANT. DO THE MATH. 326 00:11:51,626 --> 00:11:54,332 SHE'S CARRYING SATAN'S CHILD. MOM! 327 00:11:54,332 --> 00:11:56,604 [ CELLPHONES CHIME ] 328 00:11:56,604 --> 00:11:57,773 [ LAUGHTER ] 329 00:11:57,773 --> 00:12:00,246 TOTALLY. 330 00:12:00,246 --> 00:12:01,615 [ CHUCKLES ] 331 00:12:01,615 --> 00:12:03,922 MOM. HMM? 332 00:12:03,922 --> 00:12:05,625 CAN YOU GO MAKE US SOME POPCORN? 333 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,931 OH, SURE. SURE. 334 00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:09,734 SAVE MY SEAT. OF COURSE. 335 00:12:09,734 --> 00:12:13,009 IS YOUR MOM GONNA BE HANGING OUT WITH US ALL NIGHT? 336 00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:15,783 [ CHUCKLES ] WHO KNOWS? 337 00:12:15,783 --> 00:12:20,660 I MEAN, MY MOM IS, LIKE, SOCIALLY CHALLENGED. 338 00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:21,662 [ LAUGHTER ] 339 00:12:29,013 --> 00:12:31,185 I HOPE WE GET CREDIT FOR SHOWING OUR WORK. 340 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,858 [ CHUCKLES ] I LOVE SHOWING MY WORK. 341 00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:36,364 [ SIGHS ] 342 00:12:45,218 --> 00:12:47,390 THIS DOESN'T FEEL DATE-LIKE. 343 00:12:47,390 --> 00:12:50,263 WE'RE JUST TALKING ABOUT MATH, AND IT'S NOT SEX-AY AT ALL. 344 00:12:50,263 --> 00:12:52,068 OKAY, LISTEN. I'M GONNA GO IN THERE AND TALK YOU UP. 345 00:12:52,068 --> 00:12:53,772 JUST MAKE AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE FOR AWHILE. 346 00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:55,777 OKAY. OKAY, OKAY. 347 00:12:55,777 --> 00:12:56,812 UM, HEY, I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, 348 00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:58,149 YOU KNOW, RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE, 349 00:12:58,149 --> 00:13:00,387 SO IT'S PROBABLY GONNA BE A WHILE. 350 00:13:00,387 --> 00:13:01,389 OKAY. 351 00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:03,227 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 352 00:13:03,227 --> 00:13:05,399 JUST GO. 353 00:13:05,399 --> 00:13:06,835 [ SIGHS ] 354 00:13:06,835 --> 00:13:09,675 SO, ALLIE, HAVING A GOOD TIME? 355 00:13:09,675 --> 00:13:11,347 YEAH. 356 00:13:11,347 --> 00:13:12,682 LOOKS LIKE, UH... 357 00:13:12,682 --> 00:13:15,189 DOING A LITTLE SHAPES MATH. 358 00:13:15,189 --> 00:13:16,826 GEOMETRY. YEP. 359 00:13:16,826 --> 00:13:19,833 [ SIGHS ] 360 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:22,238 MAN, STUDYING BLOWS, HUH? 361 00:13:22,238 --> 00:13:24,711 GOOD THING WARREN'S HERE TO LIVEN IT UP A LITTLE BIT. 362 00:13:24,711 --> 00:13:25,680 I MEAN, HE'S REALLY FUNNY, RIGHT? 363 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,152 [ CHUCKLES ] AND SUPER CUTE. 364 00:13:28,152 --> 00:13:29,822 AREN'T YOU HIS... STEPMOM? 365 00:13:29,822 --> 00:13:31,694 YEAH. OH, MY GOD. 366 00:13:31,694 --> 00:13:33,766 BUT IF I WASN'T, I'D BE ALL OVER THAT. 367 00:13:33,766 --> 00:13:35,736 REALLY? A 15-YEAR-OLD? 368 00:13:35,736 --> 00:13:39,813 WELL, I MEAN, IF HE WAS OLDER AND NOT MY STEPSON 369 00:13:39,813 --> 00:13:41,316 OR...UH... 370 00:13:41,316 --> 00:13:44,023 POINT IS, IS WARREN IS A CATCH. 371 00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:47,464 I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, HIS BANGS ARE FLAWLESS. 372 00:13:47,464 --> 00:13:50,872 OH! I AM BACK, AND I FEEL AMAZING. 373 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,511 OH, WELL, YOU LOOK AWESOME, AS USUAL. 374 00:13:53,511 --> 00:13:56,385 OH, ALL RIGHT. 375 00:13:56,385 --> 00:13:58,123 HEY. WAH! 376 00:14:00,194 --> 00:14:03,034 [ SIGHS ] 377 00:14:03,034 --> 00:14:05,440 PLEASE, YOU THINK YOUR MOM'S BAD? 378 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,946 MY MOM WON'T LET ME WATCH "THE BACHELOR" 379 00:14:07,946 --> 00:14:09,816 BECAUSE SHE FOUND OUT KELSEY USED TO BE A HOOTERS WAITRESS. 380 00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:10,786 [ SCOFFS ] 381 00:14:10,786 --> 00:14:12,756 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT LAME MOMS? 382 00:14:12,756 --> 00:14:14,895 MY MOM TAKES THE CAKE. 383 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,535 SO, I ASKED FOR A BEE GEES POSTER FOR CHRISTMAS. 384 00:14:17,535 --> 00:14:19,038 I GO DOWNSTAIRS CHRISTMAS MORNING, 385 00:14:19,038 --> 00:14:23,215 UNWRAP MY GIFT, AND WHO AM I LOOKING AT? 386 00:14:23,215 --> 00:14:25,219 MAURICE. JUST MAURICE. 387 00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:27,024 CAN YOU IMAGINE?! 388 00:14:27,024 --> 00:14:29,796 MM. TEXT MESSAGE. 389 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,412 EXCUSE ME. MY ANSWERING SERVICE. 390 00:14:36,412 --> 00:14:40,455 MY PATIENT JUST... DIED. 391 00:14:44,565 --> 00:14:45,968 [ CHUCKLES ] 392 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:50,278 OH, TRAVEL WEBSITE. ARE WE GOING SOMEWHERE? 393 00:14:50,278 --> 00:14:53,118 I'M THINKING OF TAKING BERT TO NEPAL FOR A LONG WEEKEND. 394 00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:54,956 JACKIE'S ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT. 395 00:14:54,956 --> 00:14:57,596 OKAY. NOW THIS IS GETTING CRAZY, ALL RIGHT? 396 00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:59,500 IT'S A TOOTH AND A MOVIE, OKAY? 397 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,171 LET IT GO. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD. 398 00:15:01,171 --> 00:15:03,141 I WILL TAKE THE HIGH ROAD... TO THE LOW ROAD. 399 00:15:03,141 --> 00:15:05,313 HEY, DREAM-KILLER. 400 00:15:05,313 --> 00:15:08,254 YOU TAKE ONE OF MY MILESTONES, I TAKE ONE OF YOURS. 401 00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:09,590 OH, IS THAT HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY IT? 402 00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:12,364 BECAUSE MOMMY'S TAKING BERT TO THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL. 403 00:15:12,364 --> 00:15:15,872 YEAH? WELL, DADDY'S GONNA TAKE HIM TO HIS FIRST SÉANCE. 404 00:15:15,872 --> 00:15:17,876 HAVE FUN WITH THAT, BECAUSE BERT AND I 405 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:20,850 WILL BE MAKING IT RAIN AT HIS FIRST STRIP CLUB. 406 00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:24,392 GUYS, GET OVER IT, OKAY? JUST GET OVER IT. 407 00:15:24,392 --> 00:15:25,862 PETE, YOU GOT TO WATCH A TOOTH FALL OUT, 408 00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:26,931 WHICH YOU WEIRDLY LOVE. 409 00:15:26,931 --> 00:15:28,334 AND, JACKIE, YOU GOT TO BE TOOTH FAIRY, 410 00:15:28,334 --> 00:15:29,938 WHICH COMBINES TWO OF YOUR PASSIONS 411 00:15:29,938 --> 00:15:31,107 OF MAGIC SPELLS AND OLD BONES. 412 00:15:31,107 --> 00:15:33,579 SO, WHO CARES IF IT WASN'T HIS REAL TOOTH? 413 00:15:33,579 --> 00:15:35,919 IT WASN'T MY REAL TOOTH?! 414 00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:37,289 WHAT IF THE TOOTH FAIRY FINDS OUT? 415 00:15:37,289 --> 00:15:38,458 WARREN: THANKS A LOT, KATE. 416 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:40,162 ALLIE JUST LEFT BECAUSE YOU WEIRDED HER OUT. 417 00:15:40,162 --> 00:15:41,598 THE TOOTH FAIRY'S GONNA HATE ME. 418 00:15:41,598 --> 00:15:43,537 AND DID YOU TELL HER THAT YOU WANTED TO GET WITH ME? 419 00:15:45,909 --> 00:15:47,145 WAY TO GO, GUYS. 420 00:15:47,145 --> 00:15:49,384 THIS IS SOME REAL TOP-NOTCH PARENTING. 421 00:15:49,384 --> 00:15:51,154 [ SCOFFS ] 422 00:15:51,154 --> 00:15:53,026 YOU WANT TO GET WITH WARREN? 423 00:15:53,026 --> 00:15:55,063 [ STAMMERS ] IT'S COMPLICATED. 424 00:16:00,142 --> 00:16:01,913 HEY, BUDDY, IF YOU LIE LIKE THAT, 425 00:16:01,913 --> 00:16:03,575 ALL THE BLOOD'S GONNA RUSH TO YOUR HEAD. 426 00:16:03,575 --> 00:16:05,914 WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU LIE TO THE TOOTH FAIRY? 427 00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:07,985 WHAT HAPPENS THEN? 428 00:16:07,985 --> 00:16:09,656 OH, BERTIE-BOO, SWEETIE, 429 00:16:09,656 --> 00:16:11,828 I PROMISE WE'RE GONNA FIND YOUR TOOTH. 430 00:16:11,828 --> 00:16:13,532 WHAT YOUR MOM MEANS IS THAT WE PROMISE 431 00:16:13,532 --> 00:16:14,902 WE'RE GONNA TRY TO FIND YOUR TOOTH. 432 00:16:14,902 --> 00:16:16,572 I SWEAR IT. DON'T DO THAT. 433 00:16:16,572 --> 00:16:18,109 OKAY, I SWEAR IT ON YOUR FATHER'S LIFE. 434 00:16:18,109 --> 00:16:19,646 MUCH BETTER. 435 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,985 HEY. I'M SORRY I CHASED ALLIE AWAY. 436 00:16:21,985 --> 00:16:24,223 IT'S FINE. SHE JUST WANTED ME FOR MY BRAIN. 437 00:16:24,223 --> 00:16:27,999 WAIT. IS THIS ALLIE'S SWEATSHIRT? 438 00:16:27,999 --> 00:16:30,004 YEAH, SHE MUST HAVE BEEN IN SUCH A RUSH TO LEAVE, 439 00:16:30,004 --> 00:16:31,074 SHE LEFT IT HERE. 440 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,342 WARREN! [ IMITATES BRAKES SCREECHING ] 441 00:16:32,342 --> 00:16:33,879 HOLD UP! DON'T YOU SEE? 442 00:16:33,879 --> 00:16:35,617 THIS IS THE CLASSIC LEAVE-BEHIND. 443 00:16:35,617 --> 00:16:36,786 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 444 00:16:36,786 --> 00:16:38,023 SHE WANTS YOU TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HER, OKAY? 445 00:16:38,023 --> 00:16:39,928 GIRLS DON'T FORGET THINGS BY ACCIDENT. 446 00:16:39,928 --> 00:16:41,363 I'M TIRED OF PLAYING MIND GAMES. 447 00:16:41,363 --> 00:16:43,903 I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN PLAYING "CONNECT FOUR" ALL DAY LONG. 448 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,039 NO, WARREN, IT'S NOT YOU SHE DOESN'T LIKE. 449 00:16:45,039 --> 00:16:46,342 IT'S ME. 450 00:16:46,342 --> 00:16:47,879 HERE. WAIT. 451 00:16:47,879 --> 00:16:49,750 "HEY, ALLIE. HOW LAME IS MY STEPMOM? 452 00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:50,752 I HAVE YOUR HOODIE." 453 00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:51,822 WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 454 00:16:51,822 --> 00:16:53,058 NO! I'M FIXING IT! KATE! 455 00:16:53,058 --> 00:16:55,263 NO! "LET ME KNOW IF U WANT ME 2 BRING IT TO U." 456 00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:56,968 THE "TO" IS A NUMBER, THE "YOU" IS THE LETTER. 457 00:16:56,968 --> 00:16:58,036 AND NOW I'M SENDING A SNOWFLAKE THAT WINKS. 458 00:16:58,036 --> 00:16:59,373 COME ON, KATE! GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK! 459 00:16:59,373 --> 00:17:01,678 NO, NO! WARREN, TRUST ME! 460 00:17:01,678 --> 00:17:03,382 WHA! 461 00:17:03,382 --> 00:17:04,385 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 462 00:17:04,385 --> 00:17:05,922 UH... [ CLEARS THROAT ] 463 00:17:05,922 --> 00:17:07,024 COME IN. 464 00:17:09,931 --> 00:17:12,804 HEY. 465 00:17:12,804 --> 00:17:13,907 JUST CHECKING UP ON YOU. 466 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,343 OH. 467 00:17:15,343 --> 00:17:17,917 RACHEL DRANK SOME CIDER. 468 00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,990 GOOD. SHE NEEDS THE CALORIES. 469 00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,294 [ CHUCKLES ] 470 00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:23,830 ARE YOU GIRLS HAVING FUN? 471 00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:25,134 YEAH. 472 00:17:25,134 --> 00:17:26,671 BUT YOU AREN'T. 473 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,308 AW, THAT'S OKAY. 474 00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:31,682 TONIGHT'S NOT ABOUT ME. YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL. 475 00:17:31,682 --> 00:17:32,952 YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER 476 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:36,025 WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND NOT YOUR MOM. 477 00:17:36,025 --> 00:17:38,732 OKAY? GO HAVE FUN. 478 00:17:38,732 --> 00:17:39,701 OKAY. 479 00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:40,704 GO ON. 480 00:17:40,704 --> 00:17:42,407 SORRY. 481 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:48,788 BY THE WAY, YOU WERE TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT THAT MOVIE. 482 00:17:48,788 --> 00:17:52,063 I MEAN, WHO GETS ASPHYXIATED AND DOESN'T GO INTO HYPOXIA? 483 00:17:52,063 --> 00:17:53,734 WELL, SHERPAS. 484 00:17:53,734 --> 00:17:55,104 BUT THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. 485 00:18:03,824 --> 00:18:06,297 WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DO THIS, A RACCOON? 486 00:18:06,297 --> 00:18:08,402 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T COMPOST. 487 00:18:08,402 --> 00:18:11,777 I'M NEVER GONNA FIND IT! IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN HERE. 488 00:18:11,777 --> 00:18:13,947 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 489 00:18:13,947 --> 00:18:16,454 THINK IT'S TIME TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH ABOUT THE TOOTH FAIRY? 490 00:18:16,454 --> 00:18:17,991 NO. 491 00:18:17,991 --> 00:18:19,962 I'M NOT READY FOR HIM TO GROW UP. 492 00:18:19,962 --> 00:18:22,401 GOOD. ME NEITHER. 493 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,005 HOW ARE WE GONNA FIND A TOOTH? 494 00:18:25,976 --> 00:18:28,850 THIS IS HILLARY'S. PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH IT. 495 00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:30,019 I LOVE THIS TOOTH. 496 00:18:30,019 --> 00:18:32,491 CREEPY WEIRDO. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 497 00:18:32,491 --> 00:18:35,164 [ GASPS ] OH, THIS IS PERFECT! 498 00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:38,506 BERT-O! WE GOT IT! LET'S RIDE! 499 00:18:38,506 --> 00:18:40,143 KATE: JUST CHILL OUT. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 500 00:18:40,143 --> 00:18:41,312 WARREN: IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 501 00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:42,882 I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT. 502 00:18:42,882 --> 00:18:44,954 WARREN, TRUST ME, I HAVE WAY MORE EXPERIENCE THAN YOU. 503 00:18:44,954 --> 00:18:46,290 [ SIGHS ] 504 00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,295 SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING? 505 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,467 WE'RE WAITING FOR ALLIE TO TEXT BACK. 506 00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:51,837 SHE'S NEVER GONNA. 507 00:18:51,837 --> 00:18:54,143 [ SNIFFS ] HONEY, YOU SMELL LIKE TRASH. 508 00:18:54,143 --> 00:18:55,278 A LITTLE BIT. 509 00:18:55,278 --> 00:18:57,250 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] OH! YOU LOOK. I CAN'T. 510 00:18:57,250 --> 00:19:00,123 "K-K" -- OOH, DOUBLE "K." I LOVE THIS CHICK. 511 00:19:00,123 --> 00:19:01,960 "CAN YOU DROP IT OFF TONIGHT?" 512 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:02,963 [ GASPS ] OH! 513 00:19:02,963 --> 00:19:04,934 IT IS ON! LET'S GO. 514 00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:06,004 HOW DO MY BANGS LOOK? 515 00:19:06,004 --> 00:19:07,340 FULL BIEBER. ALL RIGHT. 516 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:10,013 COME ON, BABE. ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR. 517 00:19:10,013 --> 00:19:12,018 WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT'S A FULL BIEBER? 518 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:13,354 REALLY? 519 00:19:13,354 --> 00:19:16,528 [ INDIGO GIRLS' "CLOSER TO FINE" PLAYS ] 520 00:19:16,528 --> 00:19:18,032 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 521 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,502 ♪ I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT MY LIFE ♪ 522 00:19:19,502 --> 00:19:22,041 SO... SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH. 523 00:19:22,041 --> 00:19:27,186 ♪ MAYBE GIVE ME INSIGHT BETWEEN BLACK AND WHITE ♪ HEY. YOU BROUGHT MY HOODIE. 524 00:19:27,186 --> 00:19:31,965 ♪ AND THE BEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE FOR ME ♪ 525 00:19:31,965 --> 00:19:34,437 ♪ IS TO HELP ME TAKE MY LIFE LESS SERIOUSLY ♪ 526 00:19:34,437 --> 00:19:36,140 [ GASPS ] 527 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:39,081 ♪ IT'S ONLY LIFE, AFTER ALL ♪ 528 00:19:39,081 --> 00:19:41,821 ♪ YEAH ♪ ARE YOU CRYING? 529 00:19:41,821 --> 00:19:44,126 ♪ WELL, DARKNESS HAS A HUNGER THAT'S INSATIABLE ♪ YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ] 530 00:19:44,126 --> 00:19:46,298 NOW YOU UNDERSTAND MY BOX OF TEETH. 531 00:19:46,298 --> 00:19:48,470 NO, I STILL THINK THEY'RE DISGUSTING. 532 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:52,012 ♪ AND LIGHTNESS HAS A CALL THAT'S HARD TO HEAR ♪ YEAH, OF COURSE, OF COURSE. 533 00:19:52,012 --> 00:19:56,489 ♪ I WRAP THE FEAR AROUND ME LIKE A BLANKET ♪ PETE: WOW. 534 00:19:56,489 --> 00:19:59,997 ♪ I SAILED MY SHIP OF SAFETY TILL I SANK IT ♪ MY MAN. 535 00:19:59,997 --> 00:20:02,336 ♪ I'M CRAWLING ON YOUR SHORE ♪ YEAH! TELL US EVERYTHING. 536 00:20:02,336 --> 00:20:04,841 UM, WELL, SHE THANKED ME FOR BRINGING BACK THE HOODIE, 537 00:20:04,841 --> 00:20:07,882 I KISSED HER, AND THEN SHE CAME OUT TO ME PRETTY HARD. 538 00:20:07,882 --> 00:20:09,452 SHE CAME ONTO YOU PRETTY HARD. [ CHUCKLES ] 539 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:11,157 OH, I-IS THAT HOW THEY SAY IT? YEAH. 540 00:20:11,157 --> 00:20:13,027 OKAY, WELL, ANYWAY, SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS GAY. 541 00:20:13,027 --> 00:20:16,636 ♪ CLOSER I AM TO FINE ♪ BUT [SIGHS] WE'RE NEW BEST FRIENDS. 542 00:20:16,636 --> 00:20:17,973 ♪ YEAH ♪ 543 00:20:17,973 --> 00:20:21,113 ♪ CLOSER I AM TO FINE ♪ 544 00:20:21,113 --> 00:20:23,987 ♪ YEAH ♪ 545 00:20:33,141 --> 00:20:37,251 ♪ THE LESS I SEEK MY SOURCE ♪ ♪ AND THE LESS I SEEK MY SOURCE FOR SOME DEFINITIVE ♪ 546 00:20:37,251 --> 00:20:42,062 ♪ CLOSER I AM TO FINE ♪ 547 00:20:42,062 --> 00:20:47,107 ♪ CLOSER I AM TO FINE ♪ 548 00:20:47,107 --> 00:20:50,582 ♪ CLOSER I AM TO FINE ♪ 549 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,188 ♪ YEAH ♪ 550 00:20:58,067 --> 00:21:01,542 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 551 00:21:01,542 --> 00:21:02,644 OH, WOW! 552 00:21:02,644 --> 00:21:04,181 WHAT IS IT? 553 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:05,517 MOM JUST SAID SHE GOT A GOODNIGHT KISS FROM HILLARY 554 00:21:05,517 --> 00:21:06,581 AND NOW SHE'S SENDING ME ONE. 555 00:21:06,581 --> 00:21:08,717 CHECK IT. SHE WROTE "X-X-X." 556 00:21:08,717 --> 00:21:10,452 THREE KISSES FROM MOM. 557 00:21:10,452 --> 00:21:13,255 GOD, IT'S LIKE I'M GETTING KISSES EVERYWHERE TONIGHT. 558 00:21:13,255 --> 00:21:15,423 ALLIE, MY MOM. 559 00:21:15,423 --> 00:21:17,058 WELL, YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S COMING THIS WEEKEND. 560 00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:18,493 I'LL WARN HER. 561 00:21:18,493 --> 00:21:20,028 [ CHUCKLES ] 562 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,164 DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, GUYS. 563 00:21:22,164 --> 00:21:24,166 HMM.