1 00:00:00,679 --> 00:00:03,066 MM. OH, THE GUY I'M PLAYING SCRABBLE WITH 2 00:00:03,066 --> 00:00:04,686 WANTS ME TO TAKE A PICTURE OF MY FEET. [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 3 00:00:04,686 --> 00:00:07,191 OKAY. A LITTLE HELP WITH THIS THING? [ SIGHS ] 4 00:00:07,191 --> 00:00:09,429 PH, YOU'RE SO NEEDY! [ SCOFFS ] 5 00:00:09,429 --> 00:00:13,304 UGH. I'M COUNTING THIS AS MY CARDIO FOR THE WEEK. 6 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,541 HEY. WHAT'S THE WEIRD VIRGIN DOING ON THE ROOF? 7 00:00:17,111 --> 00:00:18,314 HEY! OHH! 8 00:00:18,314 --> 00:00:19,517 OH! 9 00:00:19,517 --> 00:00:21,454 OH, GOD, THIS CAN'T BE GOOD FOR MY HERNIA. 10 00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:23,592 KATE SAW ME! THEN YOU GOT TO JUMP NOW! 11 00:00:23,592 --> 00:00:25,001 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 12 00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:26,705 AW, SWEET. ARE WE DOING ROOF DIVES? 13 00:00:26,705 --> 00:00:28,575 WARREN, GET DOWN HERE IMMEDIATELY! 14 00:00:28,575 --> 00:00:30,613 [ SIGHS ] [ SIGHS ] 15 00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:31,715 YOU GOT IT. 16 00:00:34,554 --> 00:00:35,556 [ WATER SPLASHES ] 17 00:00:35,556 --> 00:00:38,629 [ LAUGHS ] 18 00:00:38,629 --> 00:00:39,732 THAT WAS AWESOME! 19 00:00:39,732 --> 00:00:40,700 TELL ME YOU GOT THAT. 20 00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:41,903 OH, NO! I WASN'T READY! 21 00:00:41,903 --> 00:00:44,007 OH, DON'T WORRY. I GOT THE WHOLE THING, CUTIE. 22 00:00:44,007 --> 00:00:46,011 OH. 23 00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:47,881 WHAT? YOU KNOW I'M A SUCKER FOR VIRGINS. 24 00:00:52,892 --> 00:00:55,898 ♪♪♪ 25 00:01:07,622 --> 00:01:09,759 WHAT YOU DOING, CALLING DADDY? 26 00:01:09,759 --> 00:01:12,265 I'M JUST CALLING HIM TO SEE WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT MY IDEAS... 27 00:01:12,265 --> 00:01:15,606 THAT I ALREADY HAVE UP HERE IN MY HEAD. [ RINGING ] 28 00:01:15,606 --> 00:01:17,643 STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL. WHATEVER. I GOT THIS. 29 00:01:17,643 --> 00:01:19,213 [ CHUCKLES ] 30 00:01:20,716 --> 00:01:24,657 NOT COOL, YOU GUYS. NOT...COOL. 31 00:01:24,657 --> 00:01:27,696 REALLY, REALLY UNCOOL. 32 00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:28,933 SO, ARE WE IN TROUBLE? 33 00:01:28,933 --> 00:01:31,605 OH! OH, OH, OH, OH, OH. 34 00:01:31,605 --> 00:01:33,208 SO MUCH TROUBLE. 35 00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:35,280 ALL RIGHT. SO, WHAT'S OUR PUNISHMENT? 36 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,984 OH, OH, OH! 37 00:01:37,984 --> 00:01:39,588 OH, OH. 38 00:01:39,588 --> 00:01:41,927 IT IS...REALLY BAD. 39 00:01:44,732 --> 00:01:46,268 ARE YOU SORRY? 40 00:01:46,268 --> 00:01:47,972 YEAH. SURE. 41 00:01:47,972 --> 00:01:50,009 GOOD. VERY GOOD. 42 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:52,180 I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID. 43 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,017 I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT...HARD. 44 00:01:54,017 --> 00:01:55,019 WE WILL. 45 00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:59,596 ♪♪♪ 46 00:02:06,911 --> 00:02:08,314 ANY CHANCE THAT WORKED? 47 00:02:08,314 --> 00:02:10,318 NO, I THINK THEY ACTUALLY HAVE LESS RESPECT FOR YOU NOW. 48 00:02:10,318 --> 00:02:11,687 UH-HUH. 49 00:02:11,687 --> 00:02:13,758 SO, THE GOOD NEWS IS, 50 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:16,898 UH, BERT SCORED SOLIDLY IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS ACHIEVEMENT TEST. 51 00:02:16,898 --> 00:02:18,736 THE MIDDLE OF THE TOP, YEAH. 52 00:02:18,736 --> 00:02:20,673 NO. THE TOP OF THE TOP. 53 00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:23,879 NO, THE MIDDLE OF THE MIDDLE... WHICH IS FINE. 54 00:02:23,879 --> 00:02:25,883 THAT'S RIGHT WHERE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE. [ CHUCKLES ] 55 00:02:25,883 --> 00:02:28,622 MM, YOU MIGHT WANT TO RECHECK THAT, 'CAUSE HE'S PRETTY BRIGHT. 56 00:02:28,622 --> 00:02:30,059 HE'S VERY BRIGHT. HE'S BRILLIANT. 57 00:02:30,059 --> 00:02:32,230 YEAH, WE'LL LOOK INTO IT, FOR SURE. 58 00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:35,636 AND THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO. 59 00:02:35,636 --> 00:02:39,779 I-I'M CONCERNED THAT... BERT MAY BE REACTING 60 00:02:39,779 --> 00:02:42,751 TO SOME OF THE TENSION BETWEEN YOU TWO. 61 00:02:42,751 --> 00:02:44,054 THERE IS NO TENSION. 62 00:02:44,054 --> 00:02:46,225 IF...ANYTHING, WE'RE TOO CLOSE. 63 00:02:46,225 --> 00:02:48,763 BERT MAY BE SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY. 64 00:02:48,763 --> 00:02:52,171 HERE'S A FAMILY PORTRAIT HE DREW IN ART CLASS. 65 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:54,910 [ SIGHS ] 66 00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:56,413 I THINK IT SAYS IT ALL. 67 00:02:56,413 --> 00:02:58,417 OHH! 68 00:02:58,417 --> 00:03:00,755 HE WISHES HE HAD LONGER ARMS! 69 00:03:00,755 --> 00:03:02,692 ♪♪♪ 70 00:03:02,692 --> 00:03:05,164 [ TV CHATTER ] 71 00:03:05,164 --> 00:03:07,202 ARE YOU TWO THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU DID EARLIER? 72 00:03:07,202 --> 00:03:08,204 WAIT, ABOUT WHAT? 73 00:03:08,204 --> 00:03:09,941 SHH. CAN YOU GUYS KEEP IT DOWN? 74 00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:11,143 WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH "HOUSE HUNTERS INTERNATIONAL." 75 00:03:11,143 --> 00:03:13,849 OH, THAT ONE-BEDROOM IN AMSTERDAM IS REDONK! 76 00:03:13,849 --> 00:03:15,819 SO, YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT WHAT I TOLD YOU TO THINK ABOUT? 77 00:03:15,819 --> 00:03:17,690 NO. SHH. OH, LOOK AT THIS TOILET! 78 00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:19,260 MEG: OH, MY GOD. OKAY, FINE. THAT'S IT. 79 00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:20,729 [ TV TURNS OFF ] 80 00:03:20,729 --> 00:03:22,266 HEY! THEY WERE GONNA MAKE AN OFFER. HEY! HEY. 81 00:03:22,266 --> 00:03:25,239 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE BOTH GONNA BE SORRY. 82 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:26,675 'CAUSE GUESS WHO I'M CALLING? [ DIALING ] 83 00:03:26,675 --> 00:03:28,780 PETE'S VOICEMAIL? [ LAUGHTER ] 84 00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:30,282 YOUR MOM. [ LAUGHTER STOPS ] 85 00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:31,952 HERE WE GO. IT'S RINGING. 86 00:03:31,952 --> 00:03:33,456 [ RINGING ] 87 00:03:33,456 --> 00:03:34,792 DIANE: HELLO. KATE? 88 00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:35,994 HI, DIANE. 89 00:03:35,994 --> 00:03:37,798 YEAH, WARREN JUMPED OFF THE ROOF INTO THE POOL, 90 00:03:37,798 --> 00:03:39,168 AND HILLARY FILMED IT. 91 00:03:39,168 --> 00:03:41,205 YOU NEED TO PUNISH THEM. I'M GONNA PUT YOU ON SPEAKER. 92 00:03:41,205 --> 00:03:42,207 [ BEEP ] 93 00:03:42,207 --> 00:03:43,443 NO, DON'T -- KATE. 94 00:03:43,443 --> 00:03:45,146 YES. WE'RE ALL HERE, DIANE. 95 00:03:45,146 --> 00:03:47,250 YOU HAVE THE ROOM. TAKE ME OFF SPEAKERPHONE. 96 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,159 [ BEEP ] 97 00:03:51,159 --> 00:03:52,795 STEP OUT OF THE ROOM. 98 00:03:52,795 --> 00:03:54,766 IT'S OKAY, DIANE. YOU'RE NOT ON SPEAKER ANYMORE. 99 00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:55,468 STEP OUT. 100 00:04:02,048 --> 00:04:03,751 COULD YOU JUST... YEAH, I GOT IT. 101 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,192 GOAL-POST ARMS. 102 00:04:07,192 --> 00:04:09,196 LOOK, I NEED TO PUNISH THE KIDS, BUT I-I DON'T KNOW HOW. 103 00:04:09,196 --> 00:04:10,866 SO I WAS JUST HOPING 104 00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:12,837 THAT MAYBE YOU COULD DO IT FOR ME OVER THE PHONE. 105 00:04:12,837 --> 00:04:14,774 THAT'S NOT HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK. 106 00:04:14,774 --> 00:04:16,812 [ HISSING ] MAYBE COULD YOU JUST TEXT ME THE PUNISHMENT, 107 00:04:16,812 --> 00:04:18,214 AND I'LL SHOW IT TO THEM 108 00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:20,786 WHILE YOU'RE BUSY GETTING WHAT SOUNDS LIKE A SPRAY TAN. 109 00:04:20,786 --> 00:04:23,325 NEVER MIND WHAT I'M GETTING. I'LL BE THERE WHEN I'M DRY. 110 00:04:26,030 --> 00:04:27,433 YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO COME OVER. 111 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,839 I'M SURE A STRONGLY WORDED TEXT WOULD HAVE DONE THE TRICK. 112 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:31,943 I DOUBT IT. MEG: THAT IS A REALLY NICE TAN. 113 00:04:31,943 --> 00:04:33,847 MINE ALWAYS COME OUT STREAKY. 114 00:04:33,847 --> 00:04:35,149 WHO'S YOUR GIRL? 115 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,486 JANINE AT COCOA SUN. 116 00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:37,888 AH. DOES SHE TAKE WALK-INS? 117 00:04:37,888 --> 00:04:39,190 USE MY NAME. 118 00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:40,494 I WILL. 119 00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:41,496 GOOD LUCK. 120 00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:43,800 ENOUGH CHITCHAT. WHERE ARE THEY? 121 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,170 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 122 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,941 [ TV CHATTER ] HEY, GUYS, LOOK WHO'S HERE. 123 00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:49,780 WARREN, HILLARY, TO YOUR ROOMS. 124 00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:50,782 YES, MA'AM. 125 00:04:50,782 --> 00:04:52,786 [ BOTH MUTTERING ] [ TV TURNS OFF ] 126 00:04:52,786 --> 00:04:53,921 HI, MOM. 127 00:04:53,921 --> 00:04:55,090 OFF YOU GO. ALL RIGHT. 128 00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:56,427 HELLO. 129 00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:58,931 TO YOUR ROOM. THAT'S RIGHT. 130 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 131 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,172 KATE...SIT. 132 00:05:03,441 --> 00:05:07,449 OKAY, KATE, YOU CAN'T KEEP CALLING ME 133 00:05:07,449 --> 00:05:09,219 EVERY TIME YOU NEED TO PUNISH THEM. 134 00:05:09,219 --> 00:05:11,825 THIS IS SOMETHING YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO FOR YOURSELF. 135 00:05:11,825 --> 00:05:12,960 YEAH, BUT I DON'T WANT TO PUNISH THEM. 136 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,797 I-I-I JUST WANT THEM TO LOVE ME. OH. 137 00:05:14,797 --> 00:05:16,267 I MEAN, I WANT EVERYONE TO LOVE ME. MM-HMM. 138 00:05:16,267 --> 00:05:18,238 'CAUSE IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF. MM-HMM. 139 00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:20,810 STOP. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EMPATHIZE. 140 00:05:20,810 --> 00:05:22,914 PUNISHING IS PART OF BEING A PARENT. 141 00:05:22,914 --> 00:05:25,487 AND THANKS TO PETER'S INABILITY TO DATE CASUALLY... 142 00:05:26,522 --> 00:05:28,158 ...THAT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU NOW ARE. 143 00:05:28,158 --> 00:05:30,195 YEAH, BUT YOU'RE JUST SO GOOD AT IT. 144 00:05:30,195 --> 00:05:32,134 [ CHUCKLING ] OH. YOU KNOW, SO YOU SHOULD JUST DO IT. 145 00:05:32,134 --> 00:05:35,440 [ CHUCKLES ] NO, BECAUSE I'M NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE. 146 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,575 [ SIGHING ] OH. 147 00:05:36,575 --> 00:05:38,413 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA DIE BEFORE ME? 148 00:05:38,413 --> 00:05:41,152 NO. BECAUSE I HAVE A JOB. 149 00:05:41,152 --> 00:05:44,224 OH. YEAH, RIGHT. OF COURSE. 150 00:05:46,028 --> 00:05:47,365 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 151 00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,836 WE'RE NOT BAD PARENTS. WE DON'T BADMOUTH EACH OTHER. 152 00:05:49,836 --> 00:05:51,941 YEAH! WE DEFINITELY DON'T DO THAT... 153 00:05:51,941 --> 00:05:54,112 AROUND BERT... 154 00:05:54,112 --> 00:05:55,281 ON PURPOSE. 155 00:05:55,281 --> 00:05:56,483 MAYBE IT WOULD BE GOOD 156 00:05:56,483 --> 00:05:58,588 FOR HIM TO SEE US DO SOMETHING TOGETHER... 157 00:05:58,588 --> 00:06:01,894 HMM. ...ON PURPOSE, NOT JUST DROP-OFF AND PICKUPS. 158 00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,264 YEAH. OOH, OOH! 159 00:06:03,264 --> 00:06:05,368 THERE'S THIS NEW MINI-GOLF COURSE THAT HE'S DYING TO GO TO. 160 00:06:05,368 --> 00:06:08,575 IT'S PIRATE-THEMED, AND YOU KNOW HOW HE LOVES PIRATES. 161 00:06:08,575 --> 00:06:10,847 LET'S JUST GET SOME ICE CREAM. IT'S QUICK. 162 00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:12,449 YOU'RE IN, YOU LICK, YOU'RE OUT. 163 00:06:12,449 --> 00:06:14,320 WELL, MAYBE IF YOU DID A LITTLE MORE OF THAT 164 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,324 DURING OUR MARRIAGE, WE'D STILL BE TOGETHER. 165 00:06:16,324 --> 00:06:17,594 OKAY. 166 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,163 HI! WHO'S TAKING ME HOME? 167 00:06:19,163 --> 00:06:20,900 WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF WE ALL DID SOMETHING TOGETHER, 168 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:22,337 JUST THE THREE OF US? 169 00:06:22,337 --> 00:06:23,472 REALLY?! 170 00:06:23,472 --> 00:06:25,376 WHAT IS IT?! WHAT IS IT?! 171 00:06:25,376 --> 00:06:26,512 OKAY, GUESS. 172 00:06:29,284 --> 00:06:31,589 MINI-GOLF! 173 00:06:31,589 --> 00:06:34,595 OH, MY GOD! MINI-GOLF! THANKS! 174 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,533 OKAY, HERE'S A SCENARIO. 175 00:06:36,533 --> 00:06:39,539 I'M HILLARY, AND I'VE JUST BROKEN CURFEW, 176 00:06:39,539 --> 00:06:43,180 AND THERE IS THE SLIGHT SMELL OF MOUTHWASH ON MY BREATH. 177 00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:44,515 YOU'RE "A PARENT." 178 00:06:44,515 --> 00:06:45,985 NOW, PUNISH ME. [ SNAPS FINGERS ] 179 00:06:45,985 --> 00:06:49,927 OKAY. YOU ARE IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE. 180 00:06:49,927 --> 00:06:52,231 YOU'RE NOT MY MOM. WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU? 181 00:06:52,231 --> 00:06:53,467 BECAUSE I'M THE ADULT. 182 00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:55,471 [ SCOFFING ] PLEASE, KATE, YOU'RE NOT AN ADULT. 183 00:06:55,471 --> 00:06:56,640 LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE WEARING. 184 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,244 ARE YOU BEING YOU, OR ARE YOU BEING HILLARY? 185 00:06:58,244 --> 00:07:00,114 I'M BEING HILLARY. NOW FOCUS. 186 00:07:00,114 --> 00:07:01,317 OKAY, FINE. 187 00:07:01,317 --> 00:07:03,421 WELL, YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOUNG LADY. 188 00:07:03,421 --> 00:07:04,624 YOU'RE GROUNDED. 189 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:05,960 OH, PLEASE. 190 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,563 I'M NOT TAKING PUNISHMENT 191 00:07:07,563 --> 00:07:10,369 FROM A GROWN-UP WHO LISTENS TO TAYLOR SWIFT. 192 00:07:10,369 --> 00:07:12,506 OKAY, WELL, NOW I KNOW THAT YOU'RE YOU, DIANE. 193 00:07:12,506 --> 00:07:14,110 YOU'VE MENTIONED THAT BEFORE. 194 00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:16,181 WELL, I'M STAYING IN CHARACTER! 195 00:07:16,181 --> 00:07:17,316 YOU HAVE TO STAY TOUGH. 196 00:07:17,316 --> 00:07:19,120 THE KIDS WILL TRY EVERY ANGLE THEY CAN. 197 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,256 NOW GO AGAIN. 198 00:07:20,256 --> 00:07:21,559 YOU THINK YOU DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO ME 199 00:07:21,559 --> 00:07:22,928 BECAUSE I'M THE STEPMOM? 200 00:07:22,928 --> 00:07:24,431 WELL, FROM NOW ON, 201 00:07:24,431 --> 00:07:26,636 YOU BETTER THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU MESS WITH ME, 202 00:07:26,636 --> 00:07:27,604 LITTLE MISS PERFECT. 203 00:07:27,604 --> 00:07:29,108 THIS IS MY HOUSE, ALL RIGHT? 204 00:07:29,108 --> 00:07:31,712 TAKE YOUR CONDESCENDING ATTITUDE, YOUR TANGERINE ARMS, 205 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,184 AND SHOVE THEM WHERE THEY DON'T SPRAY. GOT IT? 206 00:07:34,184 --> 00:07:37,524 ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME OR HILLARY? 207 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,596 HILLARY. ROLE-PLAYING. 208 00:07:39,596 --> 00:07:41,633 I THINK YOU'RE READY. 209 00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:44,439 OKAY, SIT DOWN. 210 00:07:44,439 --> 00:07:46,610 UH...STAY. 211 00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:49,115 OH, IT IS PUNISHMENT TIME. 212 00:07:49,115 --> 00:07:50,351 WHOA. HEY! 213 00:07:50,351 --> 00:07:51,687 WHAT DID I DO? 214 00:07:51,687 --> 00:07:54,025 YOU JUMPED OFF THE ROOF, AND YOU FILMED IT, 215 00:07:54,025 --> 00:07:56,664 WHICH IS WHY THERE WILL BE NO MORE SCREENS 216 00:07:56,664 --> 00:07:57,733 FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. 217 00:07:57,733 --> 00:07:59,102 WELL, BUT -- BUT THEN I CAN'T TWEET! 218 00:07:59,102 --> 00:08:00,505 WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED? 219 00:08:00,505 --> 00:08:02,176 HOW ARE PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT? 220 00:08:02,176 --> 00:08:03,645 [ MOCKINGLY ] WHATEVER WILL THEY DO?! 221 00:08:03,645 --> 00:08:06,184 KATE, KATE, I-I NEED MY ALARM CLOCK, OKAY? 222 00:08:06,184 --> 00:08:07,519 I NEED STRUCTURE IN MY LIFE! 223 00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:09,557 I JUST PUNISHED ALL OVER THIS PLACE. 224 00:08:14,634 --> 00:08:17,340 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 225 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:19,177 WOW. THAT WAS SO THRILLING. 226 00:08:19,177 --> 00:08:21,548 NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE. 227 00:08:21,548 --> 00:08:24,154 YES. IT IS A RUSH. 228 00:08:24,154 --> 00:08:26,058 [ SIGHS ] BUT DON'T GET AHEAD OF YOURSELF. 229 00:08:26,058 --> 00:08:28,530 ENFORCING THE PUNISHMENT IS THE HARDEST PART. 230 00:08:28,530 --> 00:08:30,601 THEY WILL TRY TO BREAK YOU. 231 00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:32,103 I'D LIKE TO SEE THEM TRY. 232 00:08:32,103 --> 00:08:34,609 [ INSTRUMENTS PLAYING OFF-KEY ] 233 00:08:34,609 --> 00:08:35,677 WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 234 00:08:35,677 --> 00:08:37,214 GOOD LUCK. 235 00:08:37,214 --> 00:08:38,383 [ GASPS ] 236 00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:40,687 [ INSTRUMENTS SCREECHING ] 237 00:08:45,431 --> 00:08:48,203 [ INSTRUMENTS PLAYING OFF-KEY ] 238 00:08:48,203 --> 00:08:51,610 OH! [ CHUCKLES ] HI, KATE. WHAT'S UP? 239 00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:53,714 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH, YOU KNOW, JUST JAMMING. 240 00:08:53,714 --> 00:08:55,051 YOU TOOK AWAY OUR SCREENS, 241 00:08:55,051 --> 00:08:57,055 SO WE'RE JUST FILLING THE VOID WITH SOME MUSIC. 242 00:08:57,055 --> 00:08:58,391 YEAH, JUST... [ SOUR NOTE PLAYS ] 243 00:08:58,391 --> 00:09:00,428 OKAY, GUYS. I GET WHAT YOU'RE DOING. I LOVE THAT. 244 00:09:00,428 --> 00:09:02,767 AND LET ME JUST SAY, MAD DISRESPECT. 245 00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:04,236 WOULD YOU DO THIS AT YOUR MOM'S? 246 00:09:04,236 --> 00:09:05,271 OBVIOUSLY NOT. 247 00:09:05,271 --> 00:09:07,075 SHE DOESN'T ALLOW NOISE BEFORE DINNER. 248 00:09:07,075 --> 00:09:09,079 IF YOU'RE TRYING TO BREAK ME, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK. 249 00:09:09,079 --> 00:09:11,251 I'M UNBREAKABLE, LIKE BRUCE WILLIS 250 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,589 OR SAMUEL L. JACKSON OR WHICHEVER ONE IS UNBREAKABLE 251 00:09:13,589 --> 00:09:15,626 IN THAT MOVIE ABOUT THAT GUY THAT'S UNBREAKABLE. 252 00:09:15,626 --> 00:09:16,628 OH! "SIGNS"! 253 00:09:16,628 --> 00:09:18,733 ALSO, I'VE GOT THESE. 254 00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:19,668 OH, IS THAT PLAY-DOH? 255 00:09:19,668 --> 00:09:21,372 MM-HMM. 256 00:09:21,372 --> 00:09:23,743 DON'T MESS WITH ME! 257 00:09:23,743 --> 00:09:25,247 "YO-HO-HO! 258 00:09:25,247 --> 00:09:28,219 "HERE YE BE AT THE FIRST HOLE, 'DEAD MAN'S BEND.' 259 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:31,526 "HIT YER SHOT TOO HARD, AND YOU'LL BE WALKING THE PLANK. 260 00:09:31,526 --> 00:09:35,233 NO OUTSIDE FOOD ALLOWED. RESTROOMS NOT ON PREMISES." 261 00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:36,435 DAD, THAT WAS GREAT! 262 00:09:36,435 --> 00:09:38,707 [ CHUCKLES ] WOW. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 263 00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:39,709 GO, BERT. 264 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,446 ALL RIGHT, BUD. OKAY, BERT! 265 00:09:41,446 --> 00:09:43,250 EASY. FORE. OH! 266 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,221 WHOA! WHOA! 267 00:09:45,221 --> 00:09:46,323 SHIVER ME PUTTERS! 268 00:09:46,323 --> 00:09:48,294 YA REALLY CLEAVED THAT TO THE BRISKET! 269 00:09:48,294 --> 00:09:50,632 MOM, THAT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN DAD'S! 270 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:51,868 OH! WHAT? 271 00:09:51,868 --> 00:09:55,208 IT'S -- I MEAN, IT'S NOT A COMPETITION, SO... 272 00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:56,411 OKAY. 273 00:09:56,411 --> 00:09:58,748 [ WHISTLES ] 274 00:09:58,748 --> 00:09:59,850 HERE WE GO. UH-HUH. 275 00:10:02,189 --> 00:10:04,160 NO, WAIT, HOLD ON. HOLD ON! 276 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,362 NO! [ BERT CHUCKLES ] 277 00:10:05,362 --> 00:10:06,564 I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. DO-OVER. 278 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:09,403 IT'S STILL MOVING. [ GASPS ] AAH! 279 00:10:09,403 --> 00:10:10,807 HOLE IN ONE! 280 00:10:10,807 --> 00:10:13,613 ISN'T MOM FUNNY? [ SIGHS ] 281 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,218 ALL RIGHT, STOP LOLLYGAGGING. WE GOT 17 MORE TO GO. 282 00:10:16,218 --> 00:10:18,389 YES, WE DO. [ SIGHS ] 283 00:10:18,389 --> 00:10:19,858 105. 284 00:10:19,858 --> 00:10:21,562 HILLARY: 106. 285 00:10:21,562 --> 00:10:23,432 WHEW! 107. 286 00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:25,704 100 AND KATE. 287 00:10:25,704 --> 00:10:28,844 "'I'M NOT THINKING VERY HONORABLY,' JACK SAID. 288 00:10:28,844 --> 00:10:30,714 "MARLEY CLOSED HER EYES. 289 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,487 "SHE COULD FEEL HIS HOT BREATH ON HER NECK. 290 00:10:33,487 --> 00:10:34,756 JACK LOOKED AT HER LUSTILY." 291 00:10:34,756 --> 00:10:37,128 [ GROANS ] "'MOTION GRANTED.'" 292 00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:38,898 WHAT THE HECK?! THAT'S NOT A SCREEN! 293 00:10:38,898 --> 00:10:40,434 YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE READING 294 00:10:40,434 --> 00:10:41,771 YOUR DAD'S LEGAL EROTICA, ALL RIGHT? 295 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,641 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, AND IT'S NOT GONNA WORK. 296 00:10:43,641 --> 00:10:45,745 SHE THINKS SHE'S SO CLEVER. 297 00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:48,384 LET'S JUST SEE HOW CLEVER SHE IS WHEN WE FIND OUR STUFF. 298 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,192 HA! HI, GUYS. 299 00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:54,263 CAN I HELP YOU? 300 00:10:54,263 --> 00:10:55,332 UH, YEAH! 301 00:10:55,332 --> 00:10:56,735 WE WERE JUST LOOKING FOR OUR PHONES. 302 00:10:56,735 --> 00:10:58,204 WHAT? 303 00:10:58,204 --> 00:10:59,708 OH, REALLY? WELL, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIND THEM. 304 00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:01,545 I AM ALWAYS GONNA BE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU. 305 00:11:01,545 --> 00:11:02,547 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 306 00:11:03,549 --> 00:11:05,519 HI! 307 00:11:05,519 --> 00:11:08,459 OH, HI, HELENE. 308 00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,665 WARREN AND HILLARY TOLD ME YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MY CHARITY, 309 00:11:11,665 --> 00:11:13,635 "IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS." 310 00:11:13,635 --> 00:11:15,373 OHH. 311 00:11:15,373 --> 00:11:16,709 I'M SURE YOU'RE AWARE, 312 00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,312 GIL AND I HAVE BEEN SPAYING AND NEUTERING STRAY ANIMALS 313 00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:20,650 IN MY GARAGE, AND WE REALLY NEED VOLUNTEERS, 314 00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:22,621 AND YOU HAVE SUCH LONG FINGERS! 315 00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:25,293 OH. WELL, I-I MEAN... 316 00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:28,366 OBVIOUSLY, THIS IS A CAUSE THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME, BUT I -- 317 00:11:28,366 --> 00:11:30,470 THIS IS JUST GONNA TAKE AN HOUR AND A HALF. 318 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:32,776 WHERE SHOULD I PUT MY EASEL? HI! 319 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,813 HI! [ CHUCKLES ] HI! 320 00:11:35,948 --> 00:11:37,318 [ SIGHS ] 321 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,627 HAVE FUN, YOU GUYS! 322 00:11:41,627 --> 00:11:44,599 BY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-E! 323 00:11:44,599 --> 00:11:45,969 BYE! 324 00:11:45,969 --> 00:11:49,276 I WILL SEE YOU NEXT THURSDAY! 325 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,746 HILLARY: OH, I LOVE HER! 326 00:11:50,746 --> 00:11:53,785 WARREN: AWW, SHE'S THE BEST. 327 00:11:53,785 --> 00:11:56,658 I'M GIVING BOTH OF YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT, STARTING NOW. 328 00:11:56,658 --> 00:11:59,430 AW. NOTHING. ZIP. 329 00:11:59,430 --> 00:12:01,000 KATE? 330 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,840 COME HERE. NO. 331 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:04,908 YEAH. NO. 332 00:12:04,908 --> 00:12:06,779 OKAY. 333 00:12:06,779 --> 00:12:08,616 [ SIGHS ] WHAT ARE WE DOING? 334 00:12:08,616 --> 00:12:10,720 THIS IS SILLY! YEAH. 335 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,559 WE CAN KEEP GOING ALL DAY, OR WE CAN END THIS NOW... 336 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,530 WE CAN. ...LIKE ADULTS. 337 00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:18,636 SO, JUST GIVE US BACK OUR PHONES... 338 00:12:18,636 --> 00:12:22,444 AND YOU WON'T SEE US THE REST OF THE DAY. 339 00:12:22,444 --> 00:12:24,281 DOESN'T THAT SOUND NICE? 340 00:12:24,281 --> 00:12:25,384 [ SIGHS ] AND LISTEN... 341 00:12:25,384 --> 00:12:27,388 IF YOU DON'T... 342 00:12:27,388 --> 00:12:29,726 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BITE OFF MY TOE WART. 343 00:12:29,726 --> 00:12:32,765 [ SIGHS ] AND WE DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, 344 00:12:32,765 --> 00:12:34,837 DO WE? 345 00:12:37,876 --> 00:12:40,882 SO, WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, KATE? 346 00:12:46,594 --> 00:12:49,400 [ SIGHS ] 347 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,602 WE GOT HER. 348 00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,706 I GUESS I CAN TELL YOU. 349 00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:55,947 ACCORDING TO THE MRI, YOU HAVE A HIGH LIKELIHOOD OF -- 350 00:12:55,947 --> 00:12:59,487 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] HOLD ON. 351 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:00,590 HOW'S IT GOING? 352 00:13:00,590 --> 00:13:01,758 [ SIGHING ] OH! 353 00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:03,429 THEY'RE GETTING TO ME. THEY'RE TESTING ME. 354 00:13:03,429 --> 00:13:04,764 WARREN'S GONNA EAT A WART! 355 00:13:04,764 --> 00:13:06,034 STAY STRONG. 356 00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:08,672 IF YOU JUST GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS AND IGNORE THEM, 357 00:13:08,672 --> 00:13:10,009 YOU'LL WEAR THEM DOWN. 358 00:13:10,009 --> 00:13:11,679 OKAY. [ SIGHS ] 359 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:12,815 OKAY. KATE. 360 00:13:12,815 --> 00:13:15,520 I BELIEVE IN YOU. 361 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,992 IN THIS PARTICULAR CASE. 362 00:13:17,992 --> 00:13:20,364 AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME. 363 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:21,666 THANK YOU. [ SIGHS ] 364 00:13:21,666 --> 00:13:24,071 H-HIGH LIKELIHOOD OF WHAT? 365 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,440 WHAT? THE -- MY... 366 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,910 [ GASPS ] OH! [ CHUCKLES ] 367 00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:28,914 OF GETTING BACK UP ON THE SLOPES AGAIN. 368 00:13:28,914 --> 00:13:31,453 YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE A COMPLETE RECOVERY. 369 00:13:31,453 --> 00:13:32,522 JACKIE: OKAY! 370 00:13:32,522 --> 00:13:34,993 WITH ONE HOLE TO GO, THE TALLY BE... 371 00:13:34,993 --> 00:13:37,365 BERT -- 68, 372 00:13:37,365 --> 00:13:39,703 DAD -- OH, 44, 373 00:13:39,703 --> 00:13:41,908 MOM -- 12! [ SCOFFS ] 374 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,079 METHINKS YOUR MOM BE TAKING LIBERTIES 375 00:13:44,079 --> 00:13:45,683 WITH THE KEEPING OF THE SCORE. 376 00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:47,853 YAR, BUT THE POINT BE NOT THE SCORE. 377 00:13:47,853 --> 00:13:49,957 THE POINT BE FAMILY TOGETHERNESS. 378 00:13:49,957 --> 00:13:51,695 YAR! MY TURN. 379 00:13:51,695 --> 00:13:52,830 OKAY, GO, BERT! OKAY, BUD. 380 00:13:52,830 --> 00:13:54,701 [ SIGHS ] 381 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,573 FORGOT WHAT A NERD YOU ARE...NERD. 382 00:13:57,573 --> 00:13:59,010 WHAT A PRISON YOUR LIFE MUST BE. 383 00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,345 WE SHOULD HAVE DONE ICE CREAM. 384 00:14:00,345 --> 00:14:01,849 WE WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE 2 1/2 HOURS AGO. 385 00:14:01,849 --> 00:14:04,420 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN'T CHEAT AT ICE CREAM. 386 00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:05,724 OH, FROZEN YOGURT MUCH? 387 00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:06,792 OH, YOU FOUND A WAY. 388 00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:09,431 [ BELL DINGING ] 389 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,836 OH, MY GOD! I GOT A HOLE IN ONE! 390 00:14:11,836 --> 00:14:13,539 GO GET YOUR PRIZE, BERT! 391 00:14:13,539 --> 00:14:17,147 [ SINGSONG VOICE ] SO WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE. 392 00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,986 "FREE ROUND. GOOD TODAY ONLY." 393 00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:24,596 COME ON, GUYS! LET'S GO! I'VE GOT NOTHING BUT TIME! 394 00:14:24,596 --> 00:14:25,831 BACK TO ONE! 395 00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:27,702 ICE CREAM. 396 00:14:27,702 --> 00:14:30,441 UH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 397 00:14:30,441 --> 00:14:31,978 TO THE TOOLSHED TO GET AN ALLEN WRENCH. 398 00:14:31,978 --> 00:14:34,149 JUST GOING ABOUT MY BUSINESS. 399 00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:36,988 UH, WAIT. [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT ABOUT OUR DEAL? [ CHUCKLING ] YEAH. 400 00:14:36,988 --> 00:14:39,994 NO DICE. WARREN, EAT AWAY. 401 00:14:39,994 --> 00:14:42,699 HILLARY, HERE! HAPPY READING. 402 00:14:42,699 --> 00:14:43,735 [ SIGHS ] 403 00:14:43,735 --> 00:14:45,872 THIS SUCKS. 404 00:14:45,872 --> 00:14:47,009 [ SIGHS ] 405 00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:48,511 [ "PUMP UP THE JAM" RINGTONE PLAYS ] 406 00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:50,148 ♪ PUMP, PUMP THE JAM, PUMP IT UP ♪ 407 00:14:50,148 --> 00:14:51,484 WAIT. ♪ WHILE YOUR FEET ARE STOMPING ♪ 408 00:14:51,484 --> 00:14:52,486 DO YOU HEAR THAT? 409 00:14:52,486 --> 00:14:54,123 [ GASPS ] IT'S KATE'S PHONE. 410 00:14:54,123 --> 00:14:56,829 [ GASPS ] I CAN TEXT! I CAN PLAY GAMES! 411 00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,799 WAIT, WAIT. WAIT. WARREN, I GOT IT! 412 00:14:58,799 --> 00:15:00,536 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. NO, I -- 413 00:15:00,536 --> 00:15:01,972 I NEED TO TWEET! OH, YOU NEED TO TWEET? 414 00:15:01,972 --> 00:15:03,609 YOU DON'T NEED TO CHECK THE -- I NEED TO CHECK THE -- 415 00:15:03,609 --> 00:15:04,678 [ GASPS ] OH, SHOOT, KATE'S COMING! 416 00:15:06,749 --> 00:15:07,818 WARREN?! 417 00:15:07,818 --> 00:15:09,487 IT WAS EITHER THAT OR MY POCKET! I -- 418 00:15:09,487 --> 00:15:12,494 WOW, YOUR DAD'S SHED IS FULL OF SPIDER WEBS AND THIGHMASTERS. 419 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,498 UGH. ALL RIGHT. 420 00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:18,005 [ GASPS ] NO, NO! IT BUILDS SUPERGERMS. 421 00:15:18,005 --> 00:15:20,477 YEAH. GROSS. [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT'S GOING ON? 422 00:15:20,477 --> 00:15:21,914 NOTHING. NOTHING. 423 00:15:23,516 --> 00:15:24,619 IT'S FINE. 424 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,489 WE'LL JUST PUT IT IN SOME RICE. YEAH. 425 00:15:26,489 --> 00:15:29,663 UGH, THIS SINK IS NOT DRAINING. 426 00:15:29,663 --> 00:15:31,467 [ DISPOSAL GRINDING ] 427 00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:32,802 [ WHIMPERING ] 428 00:15:32,802 --> 00:15:34,806 YEAH. WE'RE GONNA NEED A LOT OF RICE. 429 00:15:34,806 --> 00:15:36,443 [ GRINDING CONTINUES ] WHAT IS THAT? 430 00:15:36,443 --> 00:15:37,779 [ MUFFLED "PUMP UP THE JAM" RINGTONE PLAYS ] 431 00:15:37,779 --> 00:15:38,949 ♪ PUMP, PUMP THE JAM ♪ 432 00:15:38,949 --> 00:15:40,719 ♪ PUMP IT UP ♪ 433 00:15:40,719 --> 00:15:41,955 [ DISTORTED ] ♪ WHILE YOUR FEET ARE STOMPING ♪ 434 00:15:41,955 --> 00:15:43,926 ♪ AND THE JAM IS PUMPING ♪ 435 00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:45,930 [ MUSIC FADES, STOPS ] 436 00:15:54,848 --> 00:15:57,253 YOU LITTLE... 437 00:15:57,253 --> 00:16:00,059 [BLEEP] 438 00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,929 THIS IS MY [BLEEP] PHONE. 439 00:16:01,929 --> 00:16:03,733 YOU TWO THANKLESS [BLEEP] 440 00:16:03,733 --> 00:16:05,770 SMACKING [BLEEP] 441 00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:07,240 LITTLE [BLEEP] 442 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,845 KICKING LITTLE [BLEEP] 443 00:16:13,619 --> 00:16:14,689 [BLEEP] 444 00:16:14,689 --> 00:16:16,158 AND GET YOUR [BLEEP] SMACKING LITTLE 445 00:16:16,158 --> 00:16:19,499 [BLEEP] 446 00:16:19,499 --> 00:16:22,070 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 447 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:25,945 [ SIGHS ] 448 00:16:29,152 --> 00:16:31,824 EVERYBODY... 449 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:32,826 TO YOUR ROOMS. 450 00:16:34,830 --> 00:16:36,834 [ SIGHS ] GOD. [ DOORS SLAM ] 451 00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,605 [ INHALES SHARPLY ] 452 00:16:38,605 --> 00:16:40,609 OH, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, KATE?! 453 00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:41,778 [ SIGHS ] 454 00:16:41,778 --> 00:16:43,748 OKAY, I NEED TO CALL PETE. 455 00:16:43,748 --> 00:16:45,052 [ SIGHS ] NOT WITH THIS. 456 00:16:45,052 --> 00:16:46,054 OKAY. 457 00:16:46,054 --> 00:16:48,224 [ BEEP ] HILLARY: IT WAS CRAZY. 458 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:51,965 AND, MOM, THEN KATE CALLED US [BLEEP] 459 00:16:51,965 --> 00:16:53,134 MULTIPLE TIMES. 460 00:16:53,134 --> 00:16:55,973 DIANE: I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 461 00:16:57,710 --> 00:16:58,646 [ RECEIVER CLICKS ] 462 00:16:58,646 --> 00:17:00,817 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 463 00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:04,859 MOM, YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD HER MOUTH. SHE WAS SO -- 464 00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:07,865 HILLARY, WARREN, I'LL SPEAK WITH YOU IN A MOMENT. 465 00:17:07,865 --> 00:17:10,737 KATE... COME WITH ME. 466 00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:12,073 YEAH. OKAY. 467 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,010 [ SIGHS ] COME ON. [ SIGHS ] 468 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,126 I'M...SO SORRY, DIANE. 469 00:17:21,126 --> 00:17:23,631 [ LOUDLY ] YOU CALLED MY KIDS [BLEEP] 470 00:17:23,631 --> 00:17:26,336 [BLEEP] 471 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,241 I KNOW. I KNOW. I SCREWED UP! 472 00:17:28,241 --> 00:17:30,612 WELL, YOU CERTAINLY DID. 473 00:17:30,612 --> 00:17:31,914 AND YOU CLEARLY HAVE A VERY STRONG COMMAND 474 00:17:31,914 --> 00:17:34,720 OF CERTAIN PARTS OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. 475 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,724 BUT THOSE ARE THINGS THAT YOU DON'T SAY OUT LOUD. 476 00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:39,831 YOU THINK THEM, OKAY? YEAH. 477 00:17:39,831 --> 00:17:42,035 I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES. 478 00:17:42,035 --> 00:17:44,641 WAIT, SO, YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME? [ CHUCKLING ] NO. 479 00:17:44,641 --> 00:17:47,914 THEY PUT YOU THROUGH THE WRINGER, AND YOU HELD TOUGH. 480 00:17:47,914 --> 00:17:49,684 SO I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 481 00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:52,223 WHY ARE YOU GESTURING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON? 482 00:17:52,223 --> 00:17:53,692 THEY'RE WATCHING. 483 00:17:53,692 --> 00:17:55,864 I HAVE THE PERIPHERAL VISION OF A HAMMERHEAD SHARK. 484 00:17:55,864 --> 00:17:58,368 YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE THEIR RESPECT. 485 00:17:58,368 --> 00:17:59,972 [ NO AUDIO ] 486 00:17:59,972 --> 00:18:01,976 OH, WOW. MOM'S REALLY GIVING IT TO HER. 487 00:18:01,976 --> 00:18:03,379 [ SIGHS ] KATE'S SCREWED. 488 00:18:03,379 --> 00:18:06,285 NOW, THAT SAID, YOU NEED TO FIND A BALANCE 489 00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,656 BETWEEN BEING A COMPLETE PUSHOVER 490 00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:10,660 AND AN OUT-OF-CONTROL RAGE MONSTER, 491 00:18:10,660 --> 00:18:11,663 WHICH YOU'VE BEEN BOTH. 492 00:18:11,663 --> 00:18:13,634 SO FIND JUST A HAPPY MEDIUM. 493 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,070 NOW YELL BACK AT ME. 494 00:18:15,070 --> 00:18:16,138 WELL... MM-HMM? 495 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,241 ...THANK YOU, DIANE. 496 00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:20,381 [ SIGHS ] 497 00:18:20,381 --> 00:18:22,987 I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOUR SUPPORT. 498 00:18:22,987 --> 00:18:26,894 AND I'M SO SORRY THAT I SWORE AT YOUR KIDS. 499 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:33,742 I...REALLY THINK THEY'RE GREAT, AND... [ GASPS ] 500 00:18:33,742 --> 00:18:34,810 ...EVEN HILLARY. 501 00:18:35,712 --> 00:18:39,654 WAIT. I THINK SHE JUST SAID MY NAME. GO. 502 00:18:39,654 --> 00:18:40,789 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. 503 00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:42,994 OKAY, NOW THAT I'M KEEPING SCORE, 504 00:18:42,994 --> 00:18:46,067 I HAVE BERT AT 62, I AM AT 49, 505 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:49,340 AND JACKIE IS AT 15 THROWS, 12 KICKS, AND 6 LOST BALLS. 506 00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:50,910 HEY, KID, HURRY UP. 507 00:18:51,845 --> 00:18:53,683 DON'T TALK TO MY SON LIKE THAT. 508 00:18:53,683 --> 00:18:54,751 SHUT UP. 509 00:18:54,751 --> 00:18:56,188 DON'T SAY "SHUT UP." REALLY? 510 00:18:56,188 --> 00:18:58,225 WOW! "SHUT UP" IS MEAN! DON'T SAY THAT. 511 00:18:58,225 --> 00:19:00,029 SHUT UP. 512 00:19:00,029 --> 00:19:01,866 DON'T TELL HER TO SHUT UP. 513 00:19:01,866 --> 00:19:04,137 I'M NOT SAYING "SHUT UP." I'M TELLING HER NOT TO SAY IT. 514 00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:05,106 THAT'S INCREDIBLY RUDE. 515 00:19:05,106 --> 00:19:06,275 WHAT'S GOING ON OVER HERE? 516 00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,212 [ CHUCKLES ] THEY KEEP YELLING AT US. 517 00:19:08,212 --> 00:19:11,319 "YELLING"? WE'RE TRYING TO TEACH THESE MILLENNIALS SOME MANNERS. 518 00:19:11,319 --> 00:19:13,690 JUST LET US PLAY THROUGH. NO! JUST "SHUT UP." 519 00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,361 I'M NOT TELLING HER TO SHUT UP. 520 00:19:15,361 --> 00:19:17,465 I'M JUST TELLING HER NOT TO SAY "SHUT UP." 521 00:19:17,465 --> 00:19:19,469 MA'AM, SIR, IF YOU KEEP HARASSING OTHER GOLFERS, 522 00:19:19,469 --> 00:19:21,139 WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE YOU WALK THE PLANK. 523 00:19:22,007 --> 00:19:23,243 THAT MEANS BAN YOU. 524 00:19:25,214 --> 00:19:28,721 SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP! 525 00:19:28,721 --> 00:19:29,957 SHUT YOUR TRAP! ZIP IT! 526 00:19:29,957 --> 00:19:31,827 PUT YOUR MOUTHS TOGETHER AND HAVE A SHUT PARTY! 527 00:19:31,827 --> 00:19:33,097 OKAY, THAT'S IT! 528 00:19:33,097 --> 00:19:35,703 GO TO THE PARKING LOT WITHOUT CLAIMING YOUR DEPOSIT. 529 00:19:35,703 --> 00:19:37,372 AW. AW. 530 00:19:37,372 --> 00:19:39,744 PETE: THAT'S TOO BAD. WE'RE BANNED? 531 00:19:39,744 --> 00:19:41,848 NEXT TIME, WE GET ICE CREAM? 532 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,819 OKAY! I LOVE ICE CREAM. 533 00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:48,195 KEEP IN TOUCH. YOU KNOW WHAT FLAVOR I WANT? 534 00:19:48,195 --> 00:19:50,199 WHAT? [ GRUNTING ] ORANGE SHERBET! 535 00:19:50,199 --> 00:19:52,203 IS HE DOING A PIRATE VOICE? 536 00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:53,238 DON'T EVEN KNOW. 537 00:19:54,508 --> 00:19:57,514 ARE YOU DONE? OKAY. 538 00:19:57,514 --> 00:20:00,320 THANK YOU. MM-HMM! 539 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:01,789 UH, KATE...SORRY. 540 00:20:01,789 --> 00:20:03,994 I WAS THINKING OF READING A BOOK AND GOING TO SLEEP. 541 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,797 SURE. 542 00:20:05,797 --> 00:20:07,501 [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 543 00:20:08,503 --> 00:20:11,242 WHAT'S GOING ON? JUST PARENTING. 544 00:20:11,242 --> 00:20:12,846 WARREN: KATE, UH... 545 00:20:12,846 --> 00:20:15,918 SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT I FINISHED THE NIGHTSTAND. 546 00:20:15,918 --> 00:20:19,759 AND, UM, I'M GONNA GO DO MY HOMEWORK NOW, SO... 547 00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,530 [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] YEAH. 548 00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:26,173 NOT BAD, RIGHT? [ CHUCKLES ] 549 00:20:26,173 --> 00:20:27,242 I'M STARTING TO GET THE HANG OF IT. 550 00:20:27,242 --> 00:20:30,214 [ GLASS SHATTERS ] 551 00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:31,317 VERY IMPRESSIVE. 552 00:20:36,314 --> 00:20:37,549 "'HOW DOES YOUR CLIENT PLEAD?' 553 00:20:37,549 --> 00:20:39,453 "JUDGE ANDERSON ASKED AS HE REACHED FOR HIS GAVEL. 554 00:20:39,453 --> 00:20:42,923 'AROUSED,' SYDNEY PURRED BACK." 555 00:20:42,923 --> 00:20:44,158 IT'S JUST AN EARLY DRAFT. 556 00:20:44,158 --> 00:20:46,262 I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. IS IT A SHORT STORY... 557 00:20:46,262 --> 00:20:48,368 TRILOGY? MAYBE IT'S NOTHING. I DON'T KNOW. 558 00:20:48,368 --> 00:20:50,372 UH, WELL, BABE, I-I-I... 559 00:20:50,372 --> 00:20:53,544 THE NAME JACOB ESQUIRE IS A GREAT PEN NAME, 560 00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:56,880 AND I REALLY APPRECIATE... ASPECTS OF THE TITLE. 561 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,049 GREAT, GREAT. 562 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,884 UH, UH, THANK YOU. UH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 563 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:03,420 I'M GONNA KEEP THE TITLE "THE MAGISTRATE'S LOVER," 564 00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:05,856 AND I'VE GOT -- I -- ALREADY, I GOT NEW ADVENTURES... 565 00:21:05,856 --> 00:21:07,691 [ CHUCKLES ] ...COMING TO ME. 566 00:21:07,691 --> 00:21:09,826 [ SIGHING ] AH. 567 00:21:09,826 --> 00:21:11,628 LET'S SEE. 568 00:21:11,628 --> 00:21:13,864 "THE MAGISTRATE..." [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 569 00:21:13,864 --> 00:21:17,534 "...SHIVERED BENEATH HIS ROBES. 570 00:21:17,534 --> 00:21:21,538 'I WONDER IF SHE CAN TELL I'M NAKED UNDER IT.'" 571 00:21:21,538 --> 00:21:24,708 OH, YEAH. 572 00:21:24,708 --> 00:21:25,709 THAT'S GOOD.