1 00:00:01,058 --> 00:00:03,052 YOUNG WOMAN: BONJOUR. 2 00:00:03,052 --> 00:00:04,063 YOUNG MAN: AH, OUI OUI. 3 00:00:04,063 --> 00:00:07,056 AU REVOIR, MES AMIS! 4 00:00:07,056 --> 00:00:09,068 FRENCH CLUB PARTY ‐‐ DONE. 5 00:00:11,063 --> 00:00:13,065 GIRL: BYE. [ CHUCKLES ] 6 00:00:13,065 --> 00:00:16,063 BYE, KILLER BEES. GREAT SEASON. 7 00:00:16,063 --> 00:00:19,085 END‐OF‐SEASON SOCCER PARTY ‐‐ DONE. [ SIGHS ] 8 00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:24,079 SEE YOU LATER, TIM. GREAT PARTY, MAN. GREAT PARTY. 9 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:27,092 WARREN'S A. V. CLUB PARTY WITH HIS ONE WEIRD FRIEND TIM ‐‐ 10 00:00:27,092 --> 00:00:29,074 DONE. 11 00:00:29,074 --> 00:00:30,095 I'M SO OVER KID PARTIES. 12 00:00:30,095 --> 00:00:32,087 WELL, IT'S THE ONLY KIND OF PARTIES KIDS HAVE. 13 00:00:32,087 --> 00:00:34,084 WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY. 14 00:00:34,084 --> 00:00:37,087 SHOULD HAVE A REAL GROWN‐UP PARTY PARTY. 15 00:00:37,087 --> 00:00:41,087 NO KIDS, NO EXES. JACKIE'S BEEN HERE WAY TOO MUCH. 16 00:00:41,087 --> 00:00:42,104 YOU'RE RIGHT. 17 00:00:42,104 --> 00:00:44,090 LAST WEEK, I CAUGHT HER PUTTING GOAT MILK ON THE SHOPPING LIST. 18 00:00:44,090 --> 00:00:46,092 YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S DO IT. OKAY. 19 00:00:46,092 --> 00:00:47,102 LET'S HAVE A GROWN‐UP PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT. 20 00:00:47,102 --> 00:00:48,105 WE CAN DO THAT. 21 00:00:48,105 --> 00:00:50,096 NO, WE HAVE BERT FRIDAY NIGHT. 22 00:00:50,096 --> 00:00:51,101 YOU KNOW WHAT? 23 00:00:51,101 --> 00:00:53,111 I'M GONNA TURN YOU ON SO HARD RIGHT NOW. 24 00:00:53,111 --> 00:00:54,117 OH, YEAH? YEAH. 25 00:00:54,117 --> 00:00:55,119 OKAY. [ RINGING ] 26 00:00:55,119 --> 00:00:58,103 JACKIE, IT'S PETE. 27 00:00:58,103 --> 00:00:59,114 HI. 28 00:00:59,114 --> 00:01:02,111 HEY. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND US DOING A LITTLE GARDENING. 29 00:01:02,111 --> 00:01:05,112 DAD, DID YOU KNOW COMPOST IS POOP? 30 00:01:05,112 --> 00:01:06,127 YEAH. DON'T EAT IT, BUDDY. 31 00:01:06,127 --> 00:01:08,115 I'M SORRY. I'D GARDEN AT MY PLACE, 32 00:01:08,115 --> 00:01:11,114 BUT MY GREENHOUSE IS FULL OF WEED ‐‐ WEEDS. 33 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,116 CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 34 00:01:12,116 --> 00:01:13,132 CAN YOU WATCH BERT ON FRIDAY NIGHT? 35 00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:15,124 KATE AND I ARE GONNA HAVE A PARTY. 36 00:01:15,124 --> 00:01:17,132 OH. I'D LOVE TO. 37 00:01:17,132 --> 00:01:18,133 GREAT. THANKS. YEAH. 38 00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:20,131 THAT WAS SO HOT. 39 00:01:20,131 --> 00:01:21,140 YEAH. 40 00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:23,130 HEY, DIANE. IT'S JACKIE. 41 00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:29,144 CAN YOU WATCH BERT ON FRIDAY? I JUST GOT INVITED TO A PARTY. 42 00:01:29,144 --> 00:01:32,147 ♪♪♪ 43 00:01:39,159 --> 00:01:41,156 ♪ GOT IT GOOD, GOT IT REAL GOOD ♪ 44 00:01:41,156 --> 00:01:45,171 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] ♪ SOMEWHERE WHERE I CAN BELONG ♪ 45 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,163 [ GLASSES CLINK ] 46 00:01:47,163 --> 00:01:51,157 AH, GREAT PARTY. OUR FRIENDS ARE TOTALLY MESHING. 47 00:01:51,157 --> 00:01:52,163 I KNOW. I KNOW. 48 00:01:52,163 --> 00:01:54,165 BETWEEN THE HIPSTERS AND THE LAWYERS, 49 00:01:54,165 --> 00:01:56,177 I CAN'T TELL IF THE POLO SHIRTS ARE IRONIC 50 00:01:56,177 --> 00:01:59,168 OR THE MUSTACHES ARE SINCERE. [ CHUCKLES ] 51 00:01:59,168 --> 00:02:02,165 ♪♪♪ 52 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,171 STEVE: HEY, GUYS. 53 00:02:03,171 --> 00:02:05,173 IT'S A GREAT PARTY. DEFINITELY ONE OF YOURS. 54 00:02:05,173 --> 00:02:08,176 UH, YEAH. UH, STEVE, THIS IS MY WIFE. 55 00:02:08,176 --> 00:02:09,184 THIS IS KATE. OH. 56 00:02:09,184 --> 00:02:10,190 OH, STEVE. I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS HAVE MET. 57 00:02:10,190 --> 00:02:12,177 HI. HI. NICE TO MEET YOU. 58 00:02:12,177 --> 00:02:13,196 YOU, TOO. HI. 59 00:02:13,196 --> 00:02:16,179 PETE, YOU GONNA INTRODUCE ME TO YOUR FRIEND HERE? 60 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:19,187 PETE: UH, YES. MEG, STEVE. STEVE, MEG. 61 00:02:19,187 --> 00:02:20,186 HI. 62 00:02:20,186 --> 00:02:21,197 I LIKE YOUR FACE. 63 00:02:21,197 --> 00:02:23,203 COME WITH ME. OKAY. 64 00:02:23,203 --> 00:02:26,191 ♪♪♪ 65 00:02:26,191 --> 00:02:28,214 THAT'S SAD STEVE FROM WORK? REALLY? HE SEEMS SO HAPPY. 66 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,212 "I LIKE YOUR FACE"? THAT WORKS? 67 00:02:30,212 --> 00:02:33,210 RANDOM HOOKUPS ‐‐ SIGN OF A GREAT PARTY, BABY. 68 00:02:33,210 --> 00:02:35,221 JACKIE: GORGEOUS MUSTACHE. GONNA CALL YOU "WHISKERS" FOR SHORT. 69 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,204 [ GROANS ] EXCUSE ME. 70 00:02:37,204 --> 00:02:39,216 JACKIE'S HERE? JACKIE? UH, SORRY. 71 00:02:39,216 --> 00:02:41,216 PETE: JACKIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 72 00:02:41,216 --> 00:02:42,228 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING BERT. 73 00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:44,230 WHAT? MISS A ROCKING PARTY? NOT A CHANCE. 74 00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:46,221 HAVE YOU MET THE JACKSTER? 75 00:02:46,221 --> 00:02:49,233 PLUS, I GOT DIANE WATCHING BERT SO I COULD MAKE MY SPECIALTY. 76 00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:52,236 FRESH‐MANGO MARGARITAS. FRESH‐MANGO MARGARITAS. HE KNOWS. 77 00:02:52,236 --> 00:02:54,218 THEY'RE FRESH‐MANGO MARGARITAS 78 00:02:54,218 --> 00:02:56,221 FROM MY FRIEND RITA'S FRESH MANGOS. 79 00:02:56,221 --> 00:02:59,244 SO AS YOU CAN SEE, THE NAME WORKS ON A LOT OF LEVELS. 80 00:02:59,244 --> 00:03:01,242 JUST DUMP THE CHIPS IN THE SINK IF YOU WANT. 81 00:03:01,242 --> 00:03:04,234 YOU GUYS LOOK MAD. DID YOU JUST HAVE A FIGHT? 82 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,251 [ CAMERA BEEPS ] YOU TURN IT OFF THE SAME WAY. 83 00:03:07,251 --> 00:03:09,255 OUI. "TODAY." MERCI. 84 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,256 AUJOURD'HUI. 85 00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,258 AUJOURD'HUI. AUJOURD'HUI. 86 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:14,237 AUJOURD'HUI. 87 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,260 AUJOURD'HUI? D'HUI? D'HUI. D'HUI. 88 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:18,242 OO‐OO‐OO‐OO‐OO. D'HUI. HUI. HUI. HUI. HUI. 89 00:03:18,242 --> 00:03:19,252 AUJOURD'HUI? AUJOURD‐‐ 90 00:03:19,252 --> 00:03:20,263 OH, I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE! 91 00:03:20,263 --> 00:03:23,268 FINE. WE'LL JUST PUT OFF "TODAY" UNTIL TOMORROW, 92 00:03:23,268 --> 00:03:26,267 WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD HAVE LEARNED "TOMORROW" YESTERDAY. 93 00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:28,253 YOU KNOW MY MOTTO ‐‐ 94 00:03:28,253 --> 00:03:30,258 NEVER PUT OFF YESTERDAY TILL TOMORROW 95 00:03:30,258 --> 00:03:31,276 WHEN YOU NEED TO LEARN TODAY. TODAY. 96 00:03:31,276 --> 00:03:34,270 [ CAMERA BEEPS ] AWESOME, AWESOME. OKAY, LET'S GET A CLOSE‐UP. 97 00:03:34,270 --> 00:03:35,281 OKAY. DIANE: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CAMERA? 98 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:38,270 OH, WE'RE GONNA DO AN ONLINE SHOW WHERE WE REVIEW GUM. 99 00:03:38,270 --> 00:03:41,278 AH, WELL, BE SURE TO SAY IT'S A FILTHY HABIT 100 00:03:41,278 --> 00:03:43,268 THAT DECAYS TEETH, WEAKENS THE JAW, 101 00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:44,289 AND CAUSES EXCESSIVE STOMACH ACID. 102 00:03:44,289 --> 00:03:47,274 [ CHUCKLES ] YOU KNOW WHO COULD USE SOME GUM? 103 00:03:47,274 --> 00:03:48,283 THAT ONE. 104 00:03:48,283 --> 00:03:49,289 OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON TO MATH. 105 00:03:49,289 --> 00:03:51,290 OH, I CAN'T. I LEFT MY BOOK AT DAD'S. 106 00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:53,278 HILLARY. I'M SORRY. 107 00:03:53,278 --> 00:03:54,293 OKAY, I'LL JUST HAVE KATE BRING IT. 108 00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:56,295 SHE'S NEVER DOING ANYTHING. TRUE. 109 00:03:56,295 --> 00:03:59,294 OH, SHE'S VERY BUSY. THEY'RE HAVING A GROWN‐UP PARTY. 110 00:03:59,294 --> 00:04:00,297 [ RINGING ] NO KIDS ALLOWED. 111 00:04:00,297 --> 00:04:02,285 THEN WHAT'S KATE DOING THERE? 112 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:02,308 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 113 00:04:04,289 --> 00:04:06,294 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. OH, BURN. 114 00:04:06,294 --> 00:04:07,309 IT'S COMICAL BECAUSE SHE'S YOUNGER. 115 00:04:07,309 --> 00:04:09,292 OH. OH. [ LAUGHS ] 116 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,308 A PARTY, HUH? THAT'S MEAN. 117 00:04:10,308 --> 00:04:13,297 I THINK I'LL JUST GO GET IT. OKAY. 118 00:04:13,297 --> 00:04:14,311 HILLARY'S IN CHARGE, BOYS. 119 00:04:14,311 --> 00:04:15,321 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HILLARY'S IN CHARGE? 120 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,300 SHE'S NOT THE BOSS OF ME. I'M OLDER. 121 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,323 YEAH, BUT I'M SMARTER. OH. 122 00:04:19,323 --> 00:04:21,314 KATE: NEVER GONNA GET IT. NEVER GONNA GET IT. 123 00:04:21,314 --> 00:04:23,321 NO WAY. NO ‐‐ OHH! OH! 124 00:04:23,321 --> 00:04:25,316 YOU DID IT! 125 00:04:25,316 --> 00:04:27,332 WHY DOES EVERYBODY CALL YOU SAD STEVE? YOU'RE SO FUN. 126 00:04:27,332 --> 00:04:29,335 PEOPLE CALL ME SAD STEVE? 127 00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:33,328 NO. NO, I JUST GIVE EVERYONE NICKNAMES. 128 00:04:33,328 --> 00:04:35,318 DRINK UP, PATHETIC PETE. 129 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,340 KEEP GOING. YOU GOT IT, GOT IT, GOT IT, GOT IT, GOT IT! 130 00:04:36,340 --> 00:04:38,342 OH, LOOK. THERE'S JUMPING JACKIE. 131 00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:40,338 HEY! SAD STEVE. 132 00:04:40,338 --> 00:04:43,331 OH, BOY, IT'S A THING. 133 00:04:43,331 --> 00:04:44,344 KATE: WHAT IS DIANE DOING HERE? 134 00:04:44,344 --> 00:04:46,329 OH. HEY, GIRL. 135 00:04:46,349 --> 00:04:49,352 HAIR'S LOOKING GREAT. HEY. WHO'S WATCHING BERT? 136 00:04:49,352 --> 00:04:51,353 HILLARY'S WATCHING BERT. 137 00:04:51,353 --> 00:04:53,340 OH, FANTASTIC! 138 00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:54,351 ONE FRESH‐MANGO MARGARITA COMING RIGHT UP. UH... 139 00:04:54,351 --> 00:04:55,358 NO, NO. SHE'S NOT ‐‐ 140 00:04:55,358 --> 00:04:57,342 DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT STAYING. 141 00:04:57,342 --> 00:04:59,351 I JUST CAME TO GET HILLARY'S MATH BOOK. OH. 142 00:04:59,351 --> 00:05:04,348 OH, BEER PONG. HA. FESTIVE WAY TO SPREAD HEP‐C. 143 00:05:04,348 --> 00:05:05,363 MEG: OH, LIGHTEN UP, DIANE. 144 00:05:05,363 --> 00:05:06,369 A LOT OF MY COUSINS HAVE HEP‐C, 145 00:05:06,369 --> 00:05:08,361 AND THEY DIDN'T GET IT FROM PLAYING BEER PONG. 146 00:05:08,361 --> 00:05:12,364 OH, JUST WHAT I NEED ‐‐ A LECTURE FROM PATIENT ZERO. 147 00:05:12,364 --> 00:05:13,376 WELL, SAY CHEESE. 148 00:05:13,376 --> 00:05:15,369 UGH. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. 149 00:05:15,369 --> 00:05:16,380 OKAY. 150 00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:19,377 FOUND WHAT I NEED, AND I GUESS I'LL BE GOING. BYE. 151 00:05:19,377 --> 00:05:23,386 GOOD NIGHT, ALL. OH, SAD STEVE. 152 00:05:23,386 --> 00:05:25,379 HI. I'M WARREN. 153 00:05:25,379 --> 00:05:26,390 AND I'M BERT HARRISON. 154 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:28,391 OH, M‐MOM SAID NOT TO USE OUR LAST NAMES. 155 00:05:28,391 --> 00:05:30,374 AND I'M BERT. 156 00:05:30,374 --> 00:05:31,388 FIRST UP, WE HAVE A CLASSIC ‐‐ 157 00:05:31,388 --> 00:05:32,398 ORIGINAL FLAVOR BUBBLE YUM. 158 00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:37,399 MMM! 159 00:05:37,399 --> 00:05:39,402 BERT, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 160 00:05:39,402 --> 00:05:42,390 [ MUFFLED ] WARREN, I THINK IT'S YUMMY. 161 00:05:42,390 --> 00:05:44,397 OOH. BERT, WELL, I'M GONNA HAVE TO DISAGREE WITH YOU 162 00:05:44,397 --> 00:05:45,404 AND SAY IT'S SUPER YUMMY. 163 00:05:45,404 --> 00:05:47,390 THIS IS YOUR GUM SHOW? 164 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,398 MM. PRETTY COOL, RIGHT? 165 00:05:49,398 --> 00:05:50,409 UM, NO. [ CHUCKLES ] 166 00:05:50,409 --> 00:05:52,410 YOU GUYS NEED MAJOR HELP. 167 00:05:52,410 --> 00:05:54,416 OKAY, MAKE ME YOUR EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, 168 00:05:54,416 --> 00:05:57,404 AND I WILL TRIPLE YOUR VIEWERS. 169 00:05:57,421 --> 00:06:00,414 TO NINE. HMM. 170 00:06:00,414 --> 00:06:02,406 [ GRUNTS ] 171 00:06:02,406 --> 00:06:04,423 HEY, ARE WE SAVING THIS LEFTOVER GUACAMOLE? 172 00:06:04,423 --> 00:06:06,420 WE DIDN'T MAKE ANY GUACAMOLE. 173 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:07,430 OH, GOD. 174 00:06:07,430 --> 00:06:09,428 [ SNIFFS ] 175 00:06:09,428 --> 00:06:12,426 THIS IS MEG'S SCARF. 176 00:06:12,426 --> 00:06:13,431 THAT'S STEVE'S JACKET. 177 00:06:13,431 --> 00:06:15,432 WHAT'S HER SCARF DOING IN HIS JACKET? 178 00:06:15,432 --> 00:06:18,430 I DON'T KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ] 179 00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:21,435 WOMAN: SHH. 180 00:06:21,435 --> 00:06:22,436 STEVE: YOU "SHH." 181 00:06:22,436 --> 00:06:24,438 [ GASPS ] 182 00:06:24,438 --> 00:06:25,444 WOW. 183 00:06:25,444 --> 00:06:27,450 MEG AND SAD STEVE? 184 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:30,434 PEOPLE HAVING PARTY SEX IN YOUR OFFICE ‐‐ 185 00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:31,455 SIGN OF GREAT PARTY. 186 00:06:31,455 --> 00:06:33,442 I WORK IN THERE. 187 00:06:33,442 --> 00:06:35,458 RIGHT. NOT COOL. YOU WORK IN THERE. 188 00:06:35,458 --> 00:06:37,460 WHAT'S HAPPENING? PARTY SEX? 189 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:40,453 THAT'S NOT YOU AND STEVE? 190 00:06:40,453 --> 00:06:42,460 I DON'T THINK SO, BUT I'M PRETTY DRUNK. 191 00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:44,462 BUT YOU WERE HITTING ON HIM ALL NIGHT. 192 00:06:44,462 --> 00:06:46,459 OH, THAT WAS JUST TO GET FREE LEGAL ADVICE 193 00:06:46,459 --> 00:06:48,466 ABOUT THAT SHOPLIFTING NONSENSE. 194 00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:50,464 YOU TURNED OUT TO BE A BUST. 195 00:06:50,464 --> 00:06:52,456 [ DOORKNOB RATTLES, HINGES CREAK ] 196 00:06:52,456 --> 00:06:54,477 HEY, COULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN? 'CAUSE I'M TRYING TO GET LAID. 197 00:06:54,477 --> 00:06:57,475 AND YOU'RE KIND OF KILLING THE MOOD WITH ALL YOUR WHISPERING. 198 00:06:57,475 --> 00:06:58,480 COOL. COOL. 199 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,470 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 200 00:07:04,479 --> 00:07:05,479 KATE: UGH. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE HAD SEX IN OUR HOUSE. 201 00:07:05,479 --> 00:07:06,490 MOTHER OF GOD. 202 00:07:06,490 --> 00:07:08,494 WHAT? UGH. 203 00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:12,488 MOTHER OF GOD. UGH. OKAY, THAT'S IT. 204 00:07:12,488 --> 00:07:13,495 WE'RE MOVING. 205 00:07:13,495 --> 00:07:15,490 I'M QUITTING MY JOB. 206 00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:17,486 MAYBE WE'RE JUST OVERREACTING. 207 00:07:17,486 --> 00:07:19,491 I MEAN, STEVE AND JACKIE WAS A FREAK OF NATURE. 208 00:07:19,491 --> 00:07:21,484 IT'S LIKE WHEN A TORNADO COMES IN, 209 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,491 SWEEPS UP A BUNCH OF FROGS, AND DROPS THEM ON A TOWN. 210 00:07:23,491 --> 00:07:25,507 HIS TORNADO WILL NEVER DROP HER FROGS AGAIN. 211 00:07:25,507 --> 00:07:27,494 ARE WE THE TOWN IN THIS METAPHOR, 212 00:07:27,494 --> 00:07:29,515 OR ARE WE SOCIE‐‐ OH, GEEZ. 213 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,499 WHAT? 214 00:07:31,499 --> 00:07:35,509 SOMEONE SEARCHED "SEX POSITIONS, DESK." 215 00:07:35,509 --> 00:07:36,510 OHH. UGH. 216 00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:38,505 I GOT TO RE‐SCRUB. OH, GOD. 217 00:07:38,505 --> 00:07:40,507 I GOT TO RE‐SCRUB. RE‐SCRUB. UGH. 218 00:07:40,507 --> 00:07:42,512 HILLARY: MOM? HMM? 219 00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:43,519 YOU'RE ON INSTAGRAM. 220 00:07:43,519 --> 00:07:45,511 OH, WONDERFUL. WHAT'S INSTAGRAM? 221 00:07:45,511 --> 00:07:47,531 WELL, IT'S AN ONLINE COMMUNITY WHERE PEOPLE ‐‐ TIME OUT. 222 00:07:47,531 --> 00:07:49,520 IT'S BAD. 223 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:50,522 [ GASPS ] MM‐HMM. 224 00:07:50,522 --> 00:07:51,525 OHH. 225 00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:55,527 WHAT ON EARTH IS "NUMBER DRUNKMOMS"? 226 00:07:55,527 --> 00:07:57,529 IT'S #DRUNKMOMS. 227 00:07:57,529 --> 00:07:59,526 MAKE IT GO AWAY. 228 00:07:59,526 --> 00:08:01,528 I CAN'T. I DIDN'T UPLOAD IT. HUH? 229 00:08:01,528 --> 00:08:03,546 OKAY, YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO LEARN HOW THE INTERNET WORKS. 230 00:08:03,546 --> 00:08:05,536 I KNOW HOW ANKYLOSTIC ARTHRODESIS WORKS. 231 00:08:05,536 --> 00:08:06,548 I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW THE INTERNET WORKS. 232 00:08:06,548 --> 00:08:08,535 I MEAN, WHO'S GONNA SEE IT, ANYWAY? 233 00:08:08,535 --> 00:08:09,548 UM, EVERYBODY. [ CHUCKLES ] 234 00:08:09,548 --> 00:08:11,539 MWAH. MAKE IT GO AWAY. 235 00:08:11,539 --> 00:08:14,537 I CAN'T. ONLY MEG CAN. 236 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,547 [ CHUCKLES ] I DIDN'T KNOW THAT DRUNK COULD EVEN AFFORD THE INTERNET. 237 00:08:16,547 --> 00:08:18,557 IT'S FREE. 238 00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:21,548 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] HEY. 239 00:08:21,548 --> 00:08:23,560 HI. DO WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ‐‐ 240 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:24,571 NOPE. NOPE. 241 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:27,559 GREAT. OKAY, COOL. 242 00:08:27,559 --> 00:08:29,558 YOU KNOW, BUT, UM, JUST, YOU KNOW ‐‐ 243 00:08:29,558 --> 00:08:31,564 YOU KNOW, WOULD IT ‐‐ WOULD IT BE ‐‐ 244 00:08:31,564 --> 00:08:32,575 WOULD IT BE WEIRD? 245 00:08:32,575 --> 00:08:35,572 YEAH. THAT'S ‐‐ I WAS ‐‐ YEAH. I FELT THAT. 246 00:08:35,572 --> 00:08:38,565 YOU KNOW, SHE'S YOUR EX, AND YOU'RE MY BOSS AND ‐‐ 247 00:08:38,565 --> 00:08:40,586 YEAH. YEAH, SO THAT'S ‐‐ NO, IT MAKES SENSE. 248 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,578 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YA. 249 00:08:42,578 --> 00:08:44,570 YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST I'VE BEEN, UM ‐‐ 250 00:08:44,570 --> 00:08:47,582 BEEN SORT OF SINGLE, YOU KNOW, AND SINGLE FOR QUITE A WHILE. 251 00:08:47,582 --> 00:08:50,574 UM, I WAS JUST HOPING, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 252 00:08:50,574 --> 00:08:52,593 NOW THAT ‐‐ THE MORE I SAY IT, THE MORE IT'S JUST WEIRD. 253 00:08:52,593 --> 00:08:54,581 YEAH. YEAH. 254 00:08:55,598 --> 00:08:57,600 [ EXHALES SHARPLY, CHUCKLES ] 255 00:09:00,604 --> 00:09:02,591 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 256 00:09:02,591 --> 00:09:03,600 AH. 257 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,603 [ CHUCKLES ] 258 00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:08,595 AAH. 259 00:09:08,595 --> 00:09:10,609 YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS. COME ON. 260 00:09:10,609 --> 00:09:13,617 [ GRUNTS ] YOU'RE A MAN. [ CHUCKLES ] 261 00:09:13,617 --> 00:09:15,609 [ SNIFFS ] 262 00:09:15,609 --> 00:09:17,603 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 263 00:09:17,603 --> 00:09:18,623 WELL, SEE YA. IT'S JUST ‐‐ 264 00:09:18,623 --> 00:09:20,611 I'M SORRY, PETE. IT'S JUST ‐‐ 265 00:09:20,611 --> 00:09:21,627 I JUST NEED TO SAY, I JUST ‐‐ 266 00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,620 I WAS JUST HOPING, YOU KNOW, 267 00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:26,611 SHE WAS SOMEONE I COULD SPEND MORE TIME WITH. 268 00:09:26,611 --> 00:09:27,617 I DON'T KNOW. 269 00:09:27,617 --> 00:09:30,620 I'VE ACCRUED 110 SICK DAYS, PETE, 270 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,626 AND I HAVE NO ONE TO SHARE THEM WITH. 271 00:09:32,626 --> 00:09:36,635 I WAS JUST HOPING I COULD, YOU KNOW, WHISK HER AWAY, 272 00:09:36,635 --> 00:09:39,628 YOU KNOW, FOR ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW ‐‐ 273 00:09:39,628 --> 00:09:41,645 FOR, YOU KNOW, LONG PERIODS OF TIME, I GUESS. 274 00:09:41,645 --> 00:09:44,637 YOU KNOW WHAT? ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU SHOULD CALL HER. 275 00:09:44,637 --> 00:09:45,643 [ KNOCK ON GLASS ] 276 00:09:45,643 --> 00:09:48,641 HI, KATE. FUN PARTY. 277 00:09:48,641 --> 00:09:52,651 "FUN PARTY"? THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? 278 00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:55,653 WELL, I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT'S A FANTASTIC PARTY, 279 00:09:55,653 --> 00:09:58,647 'CAUSE FANTASTIC PARTIES HAVE PIÑATAS. 280 00:09:58,647 --> 00:10:01,647 HOW ABOUT AN APOLOGY FOR CRASHING OUR PARTY 281 00:10:01,647 --> 00:10:03,654 AND HOOKING UP IN OUR HOUSE? 282 00:10:03,654 --> 00:10:05,661 [ LAUGHING ] COME ON. IT WAS JUST IN PETE'S OFFICE. 283 00:10:05,661 --> 00:10:08,661 YOU KNOW, WE KEPT IT MAINLY ON THE ‐‐ ON THE DESK. 284 00:10:08,661 --> 00:10:11,673 AH, JACKIE STOP, OKAY? THAT'S ENOUGH. THAT'S ENOUGH. 285 00:10:11,673 --> 00:10:14,662 YOU'RE ALWAYS HERE, AND ‐‐ AND I KNOW WAY TOO MUCH 286 00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:15,673 ABOUT YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW. 287 00:10:15,673 --> 00:10:17,664 DID YOU KNOW THAT STEVE ASKED ME OUT AGAIN? 288 00:10:17,664 --> 00:10:19,667 HE DID? YEAH. 289 00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:22,688 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, SISTER? SHOULD I SEE HIM AGAIN? 290 00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:26,678 I THINK THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA FOR SO MANY REASONS. 291 00:10:26,678 --> 00:10:27,694 YEAH, I KNOW. I TOTALLY AGREE. 292 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,680 UM, CAN YOU LIST ALL OF THEM? 293 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:33,680 PETE IS STEVE'S BOSS. PETE IS YOUR EX‐HUSBAND. 294 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,683 IT WAS A RANDOM, ONE‐TIME PARTY THING 295 00:10:35,683 --> 00:10:37,689 WITH A GUY WHOSE NICKNAME CONTAINS THE WORD "SAD." 296 00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:39,691 YEAH, OKAY. I TOTALLY AGREE. 297 00:10:39,691 --> 00:10:42,689 YEAH. PFFT. I'M JUST GONNA BLOW HIM OFF. 298 00:10:42,689 --> 00:10:43,691 I MEAN, EW, RIGHT? 299 00:10:43,691 --> 00:10:44,705 OH, LOOK. THERE'S MY BRA. 300 00:10:44,705 --> 00:10:47,693 OH, GOOD. CONTAMINATING OUR POOL. 301 00:10:47,693 --> 00:10:49,694 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] 302 00:10:49,694 --> 00:10:52,697 HEY, BABE. SO, UM, GREAT NEWS. 303 00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:53,704 I JUST SPOKE TO JACKIE, 304 00:10:53,704 --> 00:10:55,714 AND I CONVINCED HER NOT TO SEE STEVE AGAIN. 305 00:10:55,714 --> 00:10:58,702 ALSO, SHE FOUND HER BRA IN OUR POOL. 306 00:10:58,702 --> 00:10:59,723 THAT'S GREAT NEWS ABOUT THE BRA, 307 00:10:59,723 --> 00:11:01,706 BUT YOU HAVE TO UN‐CONVINCE HER. 308 00:11:01,706 --> 00:11:02,718 WE NEED THEM TO GET TOGETHER. 309 00:11:02,718 --> 00:11:05,721 WHAT? WHY? BECAUSE HE'S OUR WAY OUT. 310 00:11:05,721 --> 00:11:08,720 HE WANTS TO GET SERIOUS AND TAKE HER ON LONG TRIPS ‐‐ 311 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:09,736 POSSIBLY TO OTHER COUNTRIES. 312 00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,724 OTHER COUNTRIES? 313 00:11:11,724 --> 00:11:12,735 MM‐HMM. OH, MY GOD. 314 00:11:12,735 --> 00:11:15,724 SHE COULD GET LOST IN A BAZAAR OR LIVE ON A KIBBUTZ. 315 00:11:15,724 --> 00:11:17,725 MM‐HMM. OKAY, I'M ON IT. 316 00:11:17,725 --> 00:11:21,728 HEY, YOUR, UH, POOL FILTER KIND OF STRETCHED OUT MY BRA, 317 00:11:21,728 --> 00:11:24,732 AND HATE TO CHARGE YOU FOR IT. 318 00:11:24,732 --> 00:11:26,732 SO...JUST GIVE ME ONE OF YOURS? 319 00:11:26,732 --> 00:11:27,749 YEAH. OF COURSE, JACKIE. 320 00:11:27,749 --> 00:11:30,738 AND, YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, 321 00:11:30,738 --> 00:11:33,758 I MEAN, YOU AND SAD STEVE WOULD REALLY MAKE A GREAT COUPLE. 322 00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:35,743 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 323 00:11:35,743 --> 00:11:38,744 WHAT YOU SAID OUT THERE REALLY RESONATED WITH ME. 324 00:11:38,744 --> 00:11:41,745 N‐NO, NO, NO. BUT, UH, I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT. 325 00:11:41,745 --> 00:11:42,760 YOU KNOW, HE'S A SUCCESSFUL LAWYER, 326 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,750 AND YOU ARE... AN ENTREPRENEUR. 327 00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:47,757 SLASH INVENTOR. SLASH INVENTOR. 328 00:11:47,757 --> 00:11:51,756 AND HE HAS THIS DYNAMIC PERSONALITY, AND YOU ARE YOU. 329 00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:52,763 WELL. 330 00:11:52,763 --> 00:11:53,772 AND NOT TO BE UNDERSTATED, 331 00:11:53,772 --> 00:11:55,774 YOU GUYS WEAR THE SAME COLOR UNDERWEAR. 332 00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:57,770 I MEAN, HELLO? 333 00:11:57,770 --> 00:12:01,770 IT'S A NO‐BRAINER. SO...DO IT. 334 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:02,789 I TOTALLY AGREE. YEAH. 335 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,776 AH. YEAH. 336 00:12:04,776 --> 00:12:06,775 WHEW! YOU REALLY TOOK ME FOR A RIDE THERE, 337 00:12:06,775 --> 00:12:07,789 ARGUING BOTH SIDES LIKE THAT. 338 00:12:07,789 --> 00:12:08,794 YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT? 339 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,796 MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE THE LAWYER 340 00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:15,791 AND PETE SHOULD BE PUTZING AROUND IN SHORT SHORTS. 341 00:12:15,791 --> 00:12:17,795 THANK YOU, JACKIE. 342 00:12:17,795 --> 00:12:19,792 HMM. 343 00:12:19,792 --> 00:12:22,801 THIS GUM HAS NOTES OF PEPPERMINT, WINTERGREEN, 344 00:12:22,801 --> 00:12:24,807 AND A CLEAN SORBITOL FINISH. 345 00:12:24,807 --> 00:12:27,805 I THINK THAT WILL PAIR NICELY WITH APPLE JUICE. 346 00:12:27,805 --> 00:12:30,798 AH, WELL, THAT'S AN INTERESTING SPOT TO LEAVE OFF. 347 00:12:30,798 --> 00:12:32,810 WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. BUT FOR NOW, I'M WARREN. 348 00:12:32,810 --> 00:12:34,821 AND I'M BERT. AND WE ARE... 349 00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:38,802 BOTH: "BLOW THIS WITH WARREN AND BERT." 350 00:12:38,802 --> 00:12:40,824 [ CHUCKLES ] GOOD NIGHT. 351 00:12:40,824 --> 00:12:42,829 AND REMEMBER ‐‐ KEEP ON CHEWING. 352 00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,827 AND WE'RE OUT. 353 00:12:44,827 --> 00:12:46,829 GUYS, THAT WAS SERIOUSLY AMAZING. 354 00:12:46,829 --> 00:12:49,830 AND, BERTIE, WHEN YOU SAID THE TANGERINE GUM 355 00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:52,827 WAS LIKE FLORIDA IN YOUR MOUTH, I ALMOST CRIED. 356 00:12:52,827 --> 00:12:53,834 THANKS! 357 00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:55,837 GUYS [GASPS] WE ARE BLOWING UP. 358 00:12:55,837 --> 00:12:58,823 SIX NEW COMMENTS AND STATENISLANDKARL1967 359 00:12:58,823 --> 00:13:01,834 WANTS TO KNOW IF WE'RE SINGLE. WE ARE! 360 00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:02,849 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD REALLY ROUND OUT THIS SHOW? 361 00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:05,835 A FEMALE CORRESPONDENT. 362 00:13:05,835 --> 00:13:06,846 OOH. OOH. 363 00:13:06,846 --> 00:13:08,852 I DON'T REALLY WANT TO FUTZ WITH THE CONCEPT, SO... 364 00:13:08,852 --> 00:13:12,842 OH, WELL, TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. 365 00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:13,854 [ PATS HAND ] 366 00:13:15,844 --> 00:13:16,860 THESE AREN'T THAT SHORT. 367 00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:18,847 WELL, AGREE TO DISAGREE. 368 00:13:18,847 --> 00:13:21,853 WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? 369 00:13:21,853 --> 00:13:23,867 WELL, SOMETIMES MY CONFIDENCE, IT ‐‐ IT EBBS AND IT FLOWS, 370 00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:25,853 AND RIGHT NOW IT'S IN AN EBB, 371 00:13:25,853 --> 00:13:27,851 AND I DON'T THINK I CAN GO OUT WITH STEVE. 372 00:13:27,851 --> 00:13:29,868 I MEAN, WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LIKE ME WHEN HE GETS TO KNOW ME? 373 00:13:29,868 --> 00:13:32,863 HE SEEMED TO LIKE YOU OKAY LAST NIGHT. 374 00:13:32,863 --> 00:13:33,868 OF COURSE HE DID, KATE. 375 00:13:33,868 --> 00:13:34,879 I'M A FREAKING SEXUAL DYNAMO. DUH. 376 00:13:34,879 --> 00:13:38,879 BUT, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, DATING IS VERY DIFFERENT. 377 00:13:38,879 --> 00:13:41,884 YOU SEE, YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT ME, BUT... 378 00:13:41,884 --> 00:13:43,886 I HAVE SOME BOUNDARY ISSUES. 379 00:13:43,886 --> 00:13:45,869 OH. 380 00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:46,893 OOH, IS THAT NEW? THAT'S SO PRETTY. SO SOFT. 381 00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:51,889 OKAY, OKAY. JACKIE, UM, LET'S SIT DOWN. 382 00:13:51,889 --> 00:13:53,886 YOU COULD BE A GREAT DATE. 383 00:13:53,886 --> 00:13:54,901 I JUST THINK THAT SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO LEARN TO ‐‐ 384 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,886 TO PULL IT BACK A LITTLE. 385 00:13:56,886 --> 00:13:57,904 OOH, PULL IT BACK? OKAY, YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. 386 00:13:57,904 --> 00:14:01,899 OR A LOT, AND SOMETIMES MAYBE JUST DON'T SHARE SO MUCH. 387 00:14:01,899 --> 00:14:03,891 MM‐HMM. OR AT ALL. 388 00:14:03,891 --> 00:14:05,912 AND BE COY. GUYS LOVE MYSTERY. 389 00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:08,901 OKAY, SEE, MYSTERY'S TOO MYSTERIOUS FOR ME, 390 00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:10,898 BECAUSE I AM AN OPEN BOOK. 391 00:14:10,898 --> 00:14:11,916 PAGE ONE ‐‐ MOMMY ISSUES. 392 00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:13,908 PAGE TWO ‐‐ GRANDMA ISSUES. 393 00:14:13,908 --> 00:14:15,912 PAGE THREE ‐‐ CONFLICTED PESCATARIAN. 394 00:14:15,912 --> 00:14:17,924 OKAY, LISTEN. LET'S JUST KEEP WITH THE CLASSICS, THEN. 395 00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,911 OKAY. 396 00:14:19,911 --> 00:14:20,927 YOU KNOW? A LITTLE HAIR FLIP AND A LITTLE SEXY EYES. 397 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,926 LIKE A... 398 00:14:22,926 --> 00:14:23,927 OH, YEAH. NOW YOU TRY. 399 00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:24,928 OH, OKAY. 400 00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:28,917 OR JUST THE HAIR FLIP. 401 00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:30,920 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL FIND IT IN THE MOMENT. NO. 402 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,938 MAN: THERE YOU GO. ♪ YOU GOT A HEART LIKE A STONE ♪ 403 00:14:33,938 --> 00:14:37,940 ♪ I BETTER LEAVE, LEAVE YOU ALONE ♪ [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 404 00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:41,930 OH, HEY. WHAT UP, DOC? YOU WANT A DRINK? 405 00:14:41,930 --> 00:14:43,947 THERE'S NOT ENOUGH PURELL IN THE WORLD. 406 00:14:43,947 --> 00:14:45,936 I'M HERE TO ASK YOU TO TAKE DOWN 407 00:14:45,936 --> 00:14:47,950 THAT JUVENILE PICTURE YOU PUT OF ME ON "INSTANTGRAM." 408 00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:50,957 OH, NO. IT'S FUNNY, AND I'VE GOTTEN LIKE 50 LIKES. 409 00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,960 WOW. UH, MAJOR L. O. L. SITUATION. 410 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,949 OKAY, I GET IT. 411 00:14:55,949 --> 00:14:57,943 YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU'RE A DENTIST. 412 00:14:59,961 --> 00:15:01,958 I'M AN ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON, MEG. 413 00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:04,970 PLAY ME FOR IT. BEER PONG. YOU AND ME. 414 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:08,970 [ LAUGHS ] THAT IS ABSURD. 415 00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:11,972 IS THAT HOW YOU AND THESE OTHER HOBOS SETTLE YOUR DISPUTES? 416 00:15:11,972 --> 00:15:14,971 HMM. SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE AFRAID I'LL WIN. 417 00:15:14,971 --> 00:15:16,976 YOU'RE ON. 418 00:15:16,976 --> 00:15:18,978 ONE RERACK. 419 00:15:18,978 --> 00:15:20,974 NO FIXING, NO BLOWING, NO SQUATTING. 420 00:15:20,974 --> 00:15:22,986 ON‐TABLE ROLLBACKS AND DEATH CUP OKAY, 421 00:15:22,986 --> 00:15:24,989 BUT NO ISO CUP, AND BOUNCING IS FOR BITCHES. 422 00:15:24,989 --> 00:15:27,983 OH. 423 00:15:27,983 --> 00:15:29,983 HI. HOW DID WE DO? 424 00:15:29,983 --> 00:15:31,985 WE GET JACKIE OUT OF OUR HAIR, INTO STEVE'S CORVETTE? 425 00:15:31,985 --> 00:15:32,999 IN A WAY. 426 00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:36,000 GUESS WHO'S GOING TO DINNER WITH JACKIE AND STEVE TONIGHT. 427 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,983 YAY! YOU TWO. SHE MEANS YOU GUYS. 428 00:15:39,983 --> 00:15:40,998 OOH! I LOVE YOU IN A FLAT FRONT. 429 00:15:40,998 --> 00:15:42,990 NO, NO. DON'T. DON'T. DON'T. OH, BOUNDARIES. 430 00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:43,996 HUH? BOUNDARIES, JACKIE. 431 00:15:43,996 --> 00:15:45,007 OH, SEE? I'M SO BAD, 432 00:15:45,007 --> 00:15:47,001 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IT'S WRONG. IT'S WRONG. 433 00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:52,999 ALL RIGHT. SORRY. 434 00:15:52,999 --> 00:15:54,004 I'M JUST ‐‐ [ CLEARS THROAT ] 435 00:15:54,004 --> 00:15:55,012 I'M VERY NERVOUS, OKAY? 436 00:15:55,012 --> 00:15:57,007 HOW DO I LOOK? HOW DO I LOOK? 437 00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:59,011 BE HONEST. HOW DO I LOOK? 438 00:15:59,011 --> 00:16:01,006 YOU LOOK GREAT. YOU SOUND CRAZY. 439 00:16:01,006 --> 00:16:03,028 OH, YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT. 440 00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:06,009 OOH, MIRROR. 441 00:16:06,009 --> 00:16:07,032 I REALLY HOPE THIS WORKS OUT. YEAH. 442 00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:10,021 MAYBE THEY'LL RUN OFF TOGETHER AND NEVER COME BACK. 443 00:16:10,021 --> 00:16:11,027 IT WOULD SCAR BERT FOR LIFE, 444 00:16:11,027 --> 00:16:13,033 BUT WE'D NEVER HAVE TO LOCK THE DOORS AGAIN. 445 00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:15,021 BERT COULD GET THERAPY. 446 00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:18,023 ANY BATS IN THE CAVE? [ GASPS ] 447 00:16:18,023 --> 00:16:19,031 HE'S HERE. HE'S HERE. 448 00:16:19,031 --> 00:16:20,033 HE'S HERE! 449 00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:22,029 HE'S HERE. STEVE'S HERE. YEAH, WE KNOW. 450 00:16:22,029 --> 00:16:24,034 IT'S A RESTAURANT, NOT A RADIO PLAY. 451 00:16:24,034 --> 00:16:25,047 OKAY. YOU'LL BE GREAT. 452 00:16:25,047 --> 00:16:28,044 JUST REMEMBER ‐‐ COY, MYSTERIOUS. 453 00:16:28,044 --> 00:16:30,038 OKAY? YEAH, I WILL. OKAY. 454 00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:32,035 WHAT'S UP, BUDDY? HEY, GOOD TO SEE YOU. 455 00:16:32,035 --> 00:16:34,042 OH, WE'RE HUGGING? OKAY. YEAH, IT FELT RIGHT. HEY. 456 00:16:34,042 --> 00:16:35,058 HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU. HI, HI. YEAH, NICE TO... 457 00:16:35,058 --> 00:16:38,042 HI, JACKIE. YOU LOOK SO LOVELY. 458 00:16:38,042 --> 00:16:39,049 HMM? HMM? 459 00:16:39,049 --> 00:16:41,050 I JUST ‐‐ HMM. HMM. 460 00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:44,054 UH, HAVE YOU ALL ORDERED DRINKS? 461 00:16:44,054 --> 00:16:45,059 OH, WELL... [ CHUCKLES ] 462 00:16:45,059 --> 00:16:48,053 WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW? 463 00:16:48,053 --> 00:16:49,075 UH... [ LAUGHS ] 464 00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:52,058 KIND OF WHY I ASKED. 465 00:16:52,058 --> 00:16:54,063 HMM. MM. MM. 466 00:16:54,063 --> 00:16:57,065 HMM? MM. JACKIE, MAYBE NOT SO COY. 467 00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:59,071 UH ‐‐ UH, HEY, FUNNY STORY. 468 00:16:59,071 --> 00:17:00,076 [ LAUGHS ] OKAY. 469 00:17:00,076 --> 00:17:01,086 ACTUALLY, WE HAVE ORDERED DRINKS 470 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,080 AND IT WAS WRONG OF ME TO KEEP IT FROM YOU 471 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,075 AND I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU RIGHT AWAY 472 00:17:05,075 --> 00:17:06,083 WHEN YOU WALKED IN AND YOU ASKED. 473 00:17:06,083 --> 00:17:08,075 HMM. OKAY? 474 00:17:08,075 --> 00:17:11,093 [ CHUCKLES ] 475 00:17:11,093 --> 00:17:14,088 OH, NOT THE EYES. NOT THE EYES. 476 00:17:14,088 --> 00:17:16,089 YOU KNOW WHAT? I NEED A ‐‐ A DRINK. 477 00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:17,100 KATE: SO... UH... 478 00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:20,090 YOU, KNOW THE ‐‐ THE ‐‐ JACKIE. 479 00:17:20,090 --> 00:17:22,091 SHOULD WE ORDER A ‐‐ CAN YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND? 480 00:17:23,096 --> 00:17:25,095 I'LL BE ‐‐ I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 481 00:17:25,095 --> 00:17:27,092 WE'LL WAIT. 482 00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:29,097 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 483 00:17:31,099 --> 00:17:34,104 SO, YOU A...BREAD GUY? 484 00:17:34,104 --> 00:17:37,101 I COULD DO A ROLL, MAYBE. 485 00:17:37,101 --> 00:17:39,125 ♪♪♪ 486 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,126 NO! DAMN IT! 487 00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:42,111 LUCKY SHOT. 488 00:17:42,111 --> 00:17:43,126 MISS. MISS. MISS IT! 489 00:17:43,126 --> 00:17:46,111 HO! 490 00:17:46,111 --> 00:17:47,118 ♪ HEY, HEY, BABY, DON'T YOU KNOW ♪ 491 00:17:47,118 --> 00:17:49,126 ♪ MY MIND'S FINISHING ♪ HA! OH! 492 00:17:49,126 --> 00:17:51,121 ♪ CAN YOU FEEL THAT BEAT TAKE AWAY THE HEAT ♪ 493 00:17:51,121 --> 00:17:54,118 ♪ OF ANOTHER BACKBREAKING WORKDAY? ♪ 494 00:17:54,118 --> 00:17:55,136 ♪ MY BLOOD IS PUMPING SO FAST ♪ 495 00:17:55,136 --> 00:17:58,127 ♪ DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IT CAN LAST ♪ 496 00:17:58,127 --> 00:18:00,125 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 497 00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:02,128 ♪ HEY‐HEY‐HEY, HEY, HEY ♪ 498 00:18:02,128 --> 00:18:03,134 [ GASPS ] 499 00:18:03,134 --> 00:18:05,136 I WIN! DAMN IT. 500 00:18:05,136 --> 00:18:09,139 [ LAUGHS ] OH, HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW? ♪ 'CAUSE IN THE END IT'S THE SAME ♪ 501 00:18:09,139 --> 00:18:11,151 ♪ I'M STILL A WEEKEND WARRIOR ♪ 502 00:18:11,151 --> 00:18:14,155 I WIN. 503 00:18:14,155 --> 00:18:17,148 HILLARY: COMING UP, GUM IN YOUR STOMACH ‐‐ 504 00:18:17,148 --> 00:18:19,160 DANGEROUS OR NO BIG DEAL? 505 00:18:21,151 --> 00:18:23,147 WE'RE NOT GONNA USE THIS, RIGHT? 506 00:18:23,147 --> 00:18:25,148 I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CAMERA ON. 507 00:18:25,148 --> 00:18:26,162 [ CHUCKLES ] DOING GREAT. 508 00:18:27,170 --> 00:18:30,157 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 509 00:18:31,163 --> 00:18:34,160 JACKIE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 510 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,178 OH, I ‐‐ RETHINKING THIS BLOUSE? 511 00:18:36,178 --> 00:18:38,163 WHY DID YOU RUN OUT LIKE THAT? 512 00:18:38,163 --> 00:18:41,171 OH, YOU SAW ME. I WAS ‐‐ I WAS A DISASTER. 513 00:18:41,171 --> 00:18:43,177 I CANNOT BE COY. 514 00:18:43,177 --> 00:18:45,179 I JUST DRIVE EVERYBODY CRAZY. 515 00:18:45,179 --> 00:18:47,179 YOU DON'T DRIVE ME CRAZY. 516 00:18:47,179 --> 00:18:48,185 OH, RIGHT. 517 00:18:48,185 --> 00:18:50,174 YEAH, YOU WANTED ME TO GET LOST AT A BAZAAR. 518 00:18:50,174 --> 00:18:53,185 OH, 'CAUSE I WAS EAVESDROPPING ON YOUR PHONE CALL. 519 00:18:53,185 --> 00:18:55,199 SEE? I DON'T HAVE BOUNDARIES. YOU SAID IT YOURSELF. 520 00:18:55,199 --> 00:18:58,195 I JUST ‐‐ I'M TOO MUCH. 521 00:18:58,195 --> 00:19:00,187 YEAH. YOU'RE ‐‐ 522 00:19:00,187 --> 00:19:02,199 YOU'RE TOO MUCH FOR ME, BUT YOU'RE NOT DATING ME. 523 00:19:02,199 --> 00:19:03,209 NO WAY. 524 00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:06,190 I MEAN, YOU ARE MARRIED TO MY EX‐HUSBAND. 525 00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:07,201 THAT'S TOO MUCH BAGGAGE. 526 00:19:07,201 --> 00:19:08,208 OKAY, LISTEN. 527 00:19:08,208 --> 00:19:12,196 I'M OVERWHELMED SOMETIMES BY TOO MUCH JACKIE, 528 00:19:12,196 --> 00:19:13,212 BUT THERE'S A SWEET GUY IN THERE 529 00:19:13,212 --> 00:19:15,219 WHO WANTS ALL THE JACKIE YOU HAVE TO OFFER. 530 00:19:15,219 --> 00:19:17,201 YOU REALLY THINK SO? 531 00:19:17,201 --> 00:19:18,204 YEAH, I DO. 532 00:19:18,204 --> 00:19:19,215 EVEN THOUGH I'M WEIRD? 533 00:19:19,215 --> 00:19:24,222 OH, YOU'RE... SO MUCH MORE THAN WEIRD. 534 00:19:24,222 --> 00:19:26,214 IS THIS GONNA LEAVE A SCAR? 535 00:19:26,214 --> 00:19:27,233 THAT DEPENDS. 536 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:31,217 ARE YOU EVER GONNA POST PICTURES OF ME OR MY CHILDREN ON THE INTERNET? 537 00:19:31,217 --> 00:19:32,222 NO. 538 00:19:32,222 --> 00:19:34,220 I'M SORRY. WHAT WAS THAT? 539 00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:35,221 NO, MA'AM. 540 00:19:35,221 --> 00:19:36,232 OKAY. 541 00:19:36,232 --> 00:19:38,243 THEN NO SCAR. 542 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:42,237 SÍ. 543 00:19:42,237 --> 00:19:45,245 LET'S PLAY AGAIN ‐‐ FOR MONEY. 544 00:19:45,245 --> 00:19:47,236 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 545 00:19:47,236 --> 00:19:49,238 JACKIE: OH. PETE: ALL RIGHT. 546 00:19:49,238 --> 00:19:51,248 JACKIE. HEY, I THOUGHT YOU LEFT. 547 00:19:51,248 --> 00:19:56,255 OH, NO, SILLY. I WAS JUST FEEDING MY METER. 548 00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:58,248 YOU PARK ON THE STREET, TOO? 549 00:19:58,248 --> 00:20:00,258 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. 550 00:20:00,258 --> 00:20:02,248 OH, GOD. LET'S ORDER. 551 00:20:02,248 --> 00:20:03,261 YEAH. 552 00:20:03,261 --> 00:20:04,262 [ CHUCKLES ] 553 00:20:04,262 --> 00:20:06,268 OKAY, GUYS, I THINK, UH ‐‐ 554 00:20:06,268 --> 00:20:08,274 I‐I THINK ‐‐ I THINK I CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE. 555 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,272 GO. 556 00:20:10,272 --> 00:20:13,256 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS BREAD AND ROLL? 557 00:20:13,256 --> 00:20:14,258 [ LAUGHS ] 558 00:20:14,258 --> 00:20:15,278 YOU'RE A "RYE‐OT." 559 00:20:15,278 --> 00:20:18,261 [ LAUGHS ] 560 00:20:18,261 --> 00:20:19,276 CHALLAH! [ BOTH LAUGHING ] 561 00:20:19,276 --> 00:20:21,268 CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE FAST ENOUGH. 562 00:20:21,268 --> 00:20:23,268 KATE: BYE. 563 00:20:23,268 --> 00:20:25,289 NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GRAINED, RIGHT? 564 00:20:25,289 --> 00:20:28,289 WELL... HERE GOES MUFFIN. 565 00:20:28,289 --> 00:20:30,274 WAIT. WHAT? 566 00:20:30,274 --> 00:20:35,286 BOTH: MM. MM. MM. MM. MM. MM. MM. MM. MM. MM. 567 00:20:38,299 --> 00:20:39,305 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 568 00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:41,303 HOW IS THE BREAD HERE? 569 00:20:41,303 --> 00:20:43,289 I DON'T KNOW. I'M GLUTEN‐FREE. OH. 570 00:20:45,309 --> 00:20:47,313 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 571 00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:50,295 HERE'S THE, UH, FRACKING REPORT. 572 00:20:50,295 --> 00:20:51,307 TURNS OUT IT'S WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT. 573 00:20:51,307 --> 00:20:54,305 TAKE A LOOK AND THEN, UH, SHRED IT. 574 00:20:54,305 --> 00:20:56,321 BOY, WE'RE GONNA ROT IN HELL. YEAH. 575 00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:59,313 LEAST IT'S HELPING WITH THE CORVETTE PAYMENTS, RIGHT? YEAH. 576 00:20:59,313 --> 00:21:00,319 YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. [ LAUGHS ] 577 00:21:00,319 --> 00:21:03,306 YEAH. 578 00:21:04,313 --> 00:21:06,316 I DON'T WANT IT BE WEIRD, SO I'LL JUST SCOOT. 579 00:21:06,316 --> 00:21:09,316 YEAH. YEAH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 580 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,317 [ SIGHS ] 581 00:21:12,317 --> 00:21:13,331 OH, REALLY? JUST SAY IT. 582 00:21:13,331 --> 00:21:15,332 HOW DO YOU ASK A WOMAN NOT TO WAX? 583 00:21:15,332 --> 00:21:17,341 DON'T DO THAT. WALK AWAY. OKAY. OKAY. 584 00:21:17,341 --> 00:21:19,341 JUST WALK AWAY. OKAY. 585 00:21:21,345 --> 00:21:22,346 DON'T TALK TO HER! 586 00:21:22,346 --> 00:21:24,348 OKAY. WALK AWAY.