1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,280
[ sighing ]
Ah. Hi.
2
00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,240
- Hi.
- Oh. Where's your necktie?
3
00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:05,440
- It's Saturday.
- Morning, Dad.
4
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,080
- Hey, bud.
- But I love it when you wear neckties.
5
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,600
I only wear a necktie
Monday through Friday.
6
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,040
I know. I love it.
7
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,720
None of the guys I dated
ever had necktie jobs.
8
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,600
A lot of them didn't
even have a shirt job.
9
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,280
Well, good morning, everyone.
10
00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,400
Who are you, and what have
you done to my daughter?
11
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,760
- What do you mean, Daddy?
- You're in a really good mood.
12
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,680
- So am I.
- Yeah, but that's not news.
13
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,560
I'm just happy.
Happy, happy, happy.
14
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,160
Shalom, everyone!
15
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,840
- Shalom. Hello.
- Shalom.
16
00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:32,920
- What do we have to nosh on?
- To nosh upo...
17
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,120
Hillary, where are
the rest of your pants?
18
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,920
Dad, they're just shorts!
19
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,080
Kate, is this normal attire
for the youth of today?
20
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,240
Um...
21
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:46,200
- I think she looks bangin'.
- "Bangin'"?
22
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:50,080
- Who says "bang" anymore?
- Nice try, beloved wife.
23
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:54,040
Oh, thank you, but, um,
I'm actually your ex-wife.
24
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,560
Also, what are you guys talking about?
25
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,920
- Well, uh...
- Also, good morning!
26
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,680
- Warren: Good morning, Jackie.
- Jackie, how did you get in here?
27
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,906
- Through the doggy door.
- Oh, of course.
28
00:01:02,907 --> 00:01:05,560
I can collapse my collarbone.
We have to go.
29
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,320
We have our playdate today with Sawyer!
30
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:13,040
Sawyer, aw, man!
He's such a pain in the tuchus.
31
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,960
I don't know who's been
teaching Bert all this Yiddish,
32
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,600
but it really needs to continue.
33
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,040
- Okay. Bye, guys.
- Have fun, little man.
34
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,781
Bye. [ telephone rings ]
Oh. This house.
35
00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:23,880
Look, baby, it's your other ex-wife.
36
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,440
- Hmm. Right.
- Mm-hmm.
37
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,200
- Hey.
- Do you know where our daughter
38
00:01:27,201 --> 00:01:30,804
- was last weekend?
- Yeah, she was at... a slumber party at Ali's.
39
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,814
Wrong. She snuck out to a party
40
00:01:32,898 --> 00:01:35,054
and hooked up with
some boy on your watch.
41
00:01:35,172 --> 00:01:37,546
What? She hook up?
Are you sure?
42
00:01:37,628 --> 00:01:40,174
Yes, I'm sure, Peter. I didn't beat
43
00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:42,148
eight malpractice
suits by not being sure.
44
00:01:42,197 --> 00:01:44,299
- You're fine.
- Hang on.
45
00:01:44,399 --> 00:01:47,485
Hillary hooked up with some
boy at a party this weekend.
46
00:01:47,572 --> 00:01:52,068
- Oh. - What does that... mean?
What does it mean?
47
00:01:52,109 --> 00:01:54,602
- Maybe they just kissed.
- Or?
48
00:01:54,925 --> 00:01:59,002
- [ sighs ] Don't make me say it.
- Sex!
49
00:01:59,484 --> 00:02:01,886
[ title music ]
50
00:02:03,385 --> 00:02:06,253
1x03 - The Social Network
51
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:11,320
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
52
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:16,054
- Who is the boy?
- All I know is his name is Ace McBrady.
53
00:02:16,163 --> 00:02:17,520
Oh, no. He sounds cool.
54
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,160
And since the "vodka in
the water bottle" incident,
55
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,520
well, that's why I'm concerned.
56
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,840
So when she's gone,
look in her room for
57
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,631
- love notes, condoms, anything.
- [ sighing ] Oh.
58
00:02:26,666 --> 00:02:28,633
If you find a diary, read it.
59
00:02:28,668 --> 00:02:30,884
We need to know what else
she's been hiding from us.
60
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,604
She's only 14. You want
me to snoop in her bedroom?
61
00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:37,639
Yes, I want you to snoop in her room.
You're her father, right?
62
00:02:37,674 --> 00:02:42,425
This is what parents do.
Deal with this. [ beep ]
63
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,720
So many of our conversations
end with "deal with this."
64
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,160
You guys don't know the first thing
about dealing with a teenage girl.
65
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,820
- And you do?
- Well, it wasn't too long ago that I ...
66
00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:52,140
Yeah, I know.
Don't say it. [ sighs ]
67
00:02:52,180 --> 00:02:55,220
You cannot snoop in her room.
Huge invasion of privacy.
68
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:57,492
When I was Hillary's age,
my Mom snooped in my room
69
00:02:57,493 --> 00:02:59,180
and found a joint,
and I was so mad at her.
70
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,060
I didn't talk to her for three weeks.
71
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:04,660
The point is you just need to talk
to her and treat her with respect.
72
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,620
You know, you'll find
out way more that way.
73
00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:09,180
You're right.
I'll cross-examine her.
74
00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:11,340
Jackie: Okay, so,
here's what I'm thinking.
75
00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:14,420
Sawyer's mom, Kirsten, owns
this really hip boutique shop
76
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,420
that would be a great showcase
for my jewelry creations,
77
00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:20,780
because ... I'm sorry ...
but being a full-time jewelry designer
78
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:24,380
has been kind of my dream for
I don't even know how long.
79
00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:27,660
- Like, weeks.
- But what about your job?
80
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:28,940
Oh, you know, real estate's great
81
00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:32,580
for those that are
business savvy, which I am,
82
00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:34,380
but I've been asking myself lately,
83
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:36,580
"you know, Jackie, why
are you not fulfilled?"
84
00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:38,620
- What's "fulfilled"?
- Like, happy.
85
00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:42,152
So I think getting my jewelry
into Sawyer's mom's shop
86
00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:45,860
is kind of exactly what I need.
87
00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:48,434
Wait. Why am I on the freeway?!
88
00:03:48,469 --> 00:03:50,310
[ door opens ]
89
00:03:52,134 --> 00:03:54,661
- Hey.
- Hey.
90
00:03:54,696 --> 00:03:58,788
So, tell me about this sleepover.
What exactly did you girls do?
91
00:03:58,823 --> 00:04:02,580
Uh, Ali got a fancy new camera,
so we all took a bunch of goofy photos.
92
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:04,700
And then, after that, we
watched "the Hunger Games."
93
00:04:04,740 --> 00:04:09,740
Anything else, anything you'd
like to tell your father?
94
00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:14,740
No. No, that's all.
Gotta go.
95
00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:19,079
One more question ...
how does "Hunger Games" end?
96
00:04:20,424 --> 00:04:24,266
- She wins the Hunger Games.
- You can go.
97
00:04:25,114 --> 00:04:27,600
What does happen at the
end of "the Hunger Games"?
98
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,880
- You need to chill.
- I can't believe this.
99
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,120
I gave her the chance to come clean,
and she lied to my face?
100
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,480
She never used to keep things from me.
101
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,680
We used to sit and talk about
everything going on in her life,
102
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,400
eating ice cream straight
out of the carton.
103
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,040
Uh, yeah, by the way, you guys
need to stop doing that, okay?
104
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,680
- It's gross.
- Now she's sneaking out,
105
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,928
hooking around with
Ace McBrady, and I'm ...
106
00:04:47,963 --> 00:04:51,000
I'm about to
snoop through her bedroom.
107
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,640
Don't do this. I don't want
us to be that kind of family.
108
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,120
I want us to be one of
those fun families where
109
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:58,560
everyone's best friends and
we wear each other's clothes
110
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,360
and we're in a band together
and we share surfboards.
111
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:05,000
You're confusing family
with a gang of beach hobos.
112
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,640
Just don't snoop in her room.
113
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,000
- I'm gonna snoop.
- You'll regret it.
114
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,080
Call me Dr. Dre,
'cause I'm about to snoop, dawg.
115
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,560
You know that made no sense, right?
116
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,120
Come on. I need help
looking through this stuff.
117
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,080
No. I'm staying in the hallway.
118
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:24,400
- This is a breach of trust.
- Should I cut her mattress open?
119
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,080
No! She's a good kid, and
that's a good mattress.
120
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,360
I've seen enough local news to
know what teenagers do these days.
121
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,480
I saw this thing where these
girls have these parties
122
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,560
where they wear
different-colored turtlenecks
123
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,360
based on the kind of
sex they want to do.
124
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,560
Oh, yeah, it's the
rainbow-turtleneck sex parties.
125
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,320
Yeah, they interviewed this woman.
126
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,840
She said she found a turtleneck
in her daughter's car.
127
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:44,986
You got to be kidding me.
128
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,400
- Orange.
- Who wears turtlenecks anyway?
129
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:51,120
- [ sighs ] I got nothing.
- Okay, good, so let's go.
130
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,158
[ sighs ]
131
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:55,470
Pete?
132
00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:58,510
Oh, my god.
Pete, what are you doing?
133
00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:00,550
I am gonna do a search on
this Ace McBrady character.
134
00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:04,110
Do you even know what you're doing?
135
00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:06,750
What in the...
136
00:06:06,790 --> 00:06:08,430
[ keyboard clacking ]
137
00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:12,670
Come on. This stupid website
is not letting me search.
138
00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:16,110
- What about...
- I am not watching this.
139
00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:19,103
Step away from the computer
and close her laptop.
140
00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:25,630
Oh.
141
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:29,190
I-I see what I've done.
142
00:06:29,230 --> 00:06:30,310
[ gasps ]
143
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:37,390
- This is not ideal.
- Nice work, Snoop Dogg.
144
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,390
[ sighs ] [ door opens ]
145
00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:39,790
Hillary: It's going to be awesome.
146
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:43,150
I hear Courtney Winters
is gonna be there.
147
00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:44,190
[ chuckles ]
148
00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:47,270
Yeah, hold on.
I'm logging on right now.
149
00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:50,830
[ sighs ]
[ Hillary screams ]
150
00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:52,110
Think she saw it?
151
00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:54,870
Hey. She's mad at me.
152
00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:56,710
Although, honestly, I
think she should be mad
153
00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,030
at whatever web designer
put those boxes so close together.
154
00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:01,390
She should be apologizing to us.
155
00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:03,870
- It was her behavior that started this.
- Exactly.
156
00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:07,350
Dad ruined my life.
Okay, let's go. Forever!
157
00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:08,670
Oh, honey, I know. I know.
158
00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:11,748
He crossed a line.
You poor thing.
159
00:07:11,783 --> 00:07:14,110
- What?!
- You got caught.
160
00:07:14,150 --> 00:07:16,670
Poor thing. Come on.
Let's go have a nice time.
161
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:18,470
You know, your mother...
your mother's right.
162
00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:22,750
It was all my idea. Your mother
had no idea what was going on.
163
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,879
She was, uh, completely
in the dark ... not a clue.
164
00:07:24,914 --> 00:07:28,370
- I was the mastermind.
- Oh, no, it was my idea!
165
00:07:28,371 --> 00:07:32,630
- I was the master... mind.
- Fine, then. I hate you both!
166
00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:34,794
You're grounded for lying
about the sleepover. [ screams ]
167
00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,020
Have you even seen "the Hunger Games"?
168
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,420
Thanks a lot for
throwing me under the bus.
169
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,100
You couldn't mastermind a
single maneuver down to the ...
170
00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:41,540
Uh, hi. Excuse me. Just
from parent to parents,
171
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,420
No more of this CIA parenting, okay?
172
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:45,500
No more interrogating.
No more snooping.
173
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:48,260
- I'll handle it.
- Oh, really? You're handling it?
174
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,860
Yes. I'm gonna go talk
to her as a friend.
175
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,380
Some of us don't want to live
in an "Orson Wellian" future.
176
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:55,460
[ chuckles ] Why do you think
that you have the answer?
177
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,660
Oh, god, that's right,
178
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,657
because you were a teenager
yourself two years ago.
179
00:07:58,706 --> 00:08:01,460
Hey! [ clears throat ]
Among other reasons.
180
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:05,260
What the hell is an
"Orson Wellian" future?
181
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:08,180
Sawyer, do you want to play opera...
182
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,580
You're making a shadow on my phone!
183
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:15,143
- [ scoffing ] Oh!
- Kombucha is served.
184
00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:18,260
[ beads rattling ]
Oh. Wow.
185
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:19,540
Look at that jewelry.
186
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:22,172
Oh! Oh! You mean, my...
my wearable art? Yes.
187
00:08:22,490 --> 00:08:24,902
- Oh, do you make it yourself?
- Oh, I'm afraid I have to.
188
00:08:24,944 --> 00:08:26,983
Nobody knows how to
work with pink turquoise.
189
00:08:27,053 --> 00:08:28,536
Mm. It looks beautiful.
190
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,920
Thank you. [ chuckles ]
191
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,480
Yeah, you should see how
it makes your spleen feel.
192
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:36,492
- Kids love it, too!
- Oh, Bert, you're embarrassing me.
193
00:08:36,527 --> 00:08:37,760
[ chuckles ]
194
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:41,410
Wearing my Mom's jewelry is fun,
and it keeps me out of trouble.
195
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,474
- Mm.
- You should sell it at your boutique.
196
00:08:43,526 --> 00:08:46,073
Oh, uh, yeah.
I mean, well, sometimes
197
00:08:46,074 --> 00:08:48,741
I'll try out a new line
and see how it does. [ gasps ]
198
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,192
Well, what a surprising
and unusual turn of events.
199
00:08:53,342 --> 00:08:54,316
[ laughs ]
200
00:08:54,623 --> 00:08:55,907
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
201
00:08:56,043 --> 00:08:57,582
Didn't see that coming, did you?
202
00:08:57,706 --> 00:08:59,244
- No.
- Mnh-mnh.
203
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,740
[ up-tempo pop music plays ]
Hey.
204
00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:05,811
- Mind if I come in and chill for a sec?
- Sure. Sounds groovy.
205
00:09:06,144 --> 00:09:07,082
[ door closes ]
206
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,380
Yeah, an adult asking for
permission to come in ...
207
00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:10,660
what a crazy idea, right?
208
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:11,900
[ chuckles ]
209
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:14,340
[ sighs ]
210
00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:17,960
Listen, Hil, um, I love your
dad, but sometimes he just
211
00:09:17,961 --> 00:09:21,540
reminds me of that song
"parents just don't understand."
212
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:22,660
[ chuckles ]
213
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:26,580
- Will Smith?
- Oh. Yeah.
214
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:28,580
Jaden Smith's dad.
[ chuckles ]
215
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,820
"Karate Kid"?
Willow's brother?
216
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:35,420
Yeah, exactly.
Um [clears throat] the point is
217
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,340
I just want you to think
of me as your friend.
218
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,940
You know, I totally understand
what you're going through.
219
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,900
I had my own Ace McBrady
when I was your age ...
220
00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:44,500
Brandon King.
He rocked the white-guy dreadlocks
221
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,801
- before they even got all trendy.
- Gross. [ sighs ]
222
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,480
I just ... I just can't believe
223
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,000
my Dad would look through
my room and my computer.
224
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:57,440
I feel so violated!
And then to embarrass me like this?
225
00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:02,240
I mean, it literally looks like I
wrote "Ace McBrady" like 50 times.
226
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,560
- I know how you feel, Hil.
- No, you don't.
227
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:10,360
Um...
the thing is, is that your parents ...
228
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,120
they just ... they're
trying their best, you know?
229
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:17,398
And they ... well,
"we" just want you to be happy.
230
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,440
There's a party tonight, and
I barely even got invited,
231
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,280
'cause I'm a social outcast now.
232
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,240
But do you think that I can maybe go?
233
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,480
[ gasping ]
Oh. [ chuckles ]
234
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,080
I mean, it sounds like
a fun-ass time, you know,
235
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,840
- but you're still grounded, so...
- I figured you'd say that.
236
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,440
Do you think that I can just go
see a movie with Bree at least?
237
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,320
I just really need to
see a friend right now.
238
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,200
Besides you, of course.
[ chuckles ]
239
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,560
[ chuckles ]
240
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,520
- Let me go see what I can do.
- Aww, you're awesome. [ chuckles ]
241
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,800
- Put it here, girlfriend.
- Oh, wow.
242
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,440
[ chuckles ]
Look at you, all hip and...
243
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,640
- [ laughs ] Wow.
- Yep.
244
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:58,960
[ door closes ]
[ dog barking in distance ]
245
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,720
So, just bring 50 pieces
by the boutique tomorrow.
246
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:05,760
Oh, that sounds great!
And, um, bye!
247
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:06,840
- Yes! We did it!
- We did it!
248
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,280
- 50 pieces!
- We nailed it!
249
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:13,080
Aah! 50 pieces, okay.
Only problem is I only have 30 pieces,
250
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,440
and each one takes me
a good 4 days to make.
251
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,400
Oy vey.
We have to get to work.
252
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,640
- 1, 2, 3...
- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
253
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:25,160
All right, so, I spoke to Hillary,
254
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,000
and I'd like to take her to
see a movie with her friends.
255
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,120
- No, she's grounded.
- I know she lied to you,
256
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,880
but, come on, you snooped in her room,
and you humiliated her online.
257
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,520
[ sighs ]
I say we call it even.
258
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,200
Let's start treating her like an adult.
259
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,440
You know, Kate,
I know, from time to time,
260
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,800
it seems like I don't appreciate
or respect your opinion
261
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:44,040
or your contribution or your...
wardrobe,
262
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,680
but I think this is a fair plan.
263
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:51,240
Well, thank you, Diane. [ chuckles ]
That means a lot, coming from you.
264
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,935
But I stand by my t-shirt.
265
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,960
I still think she should be grounded.
But, more importantly,
266
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,160
I'm glad to see you and
Kate agreeing on something.
267
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,680
Maybe this is the start
of a beautiful friendship.
268
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,360
Please, Peter. I don't care for
her opinions or her tattered tees.
269
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,960
- I just bought us some time to snoop.
- I already snooped.
270
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,880
- [ sighs ] Bye, guys.
- Bye. - Thank you.
271
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,800
[ door opens, closes ]
Well, amateur hour is over.
272
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,240
I didn't buy her all those journals
so she could express herself.
273
00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,950
Polishing wax.
274
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,030
Buffing cloth.
275
00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:25,630
Cashew cheese.
276
00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:29,630
Mmm!
All right.
277
00:12:29,670 --> 00:12:34,350
I think we made good progress.
I'm gonna quit for the night.
278
00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:36,750
But we have to keep going.
279
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:40,590
Oh, but, Bertie, I need to
recharge my batteries. [ sighs ]
280
00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:44,110
I don't want to make a single piece
that isn't just amazing, you know?
281
00:12:44,303 --> 00:12:46,725
- I'll get back to it tomorrow.
- Okay.
282
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,464
But you, my little
helper, have been so good.
283
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:52,460
So, how may I thank you?
284
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,380
Would you like some ice cream or ...
Ooh! ... a cookie?
285
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:57,500
I don't want to get schmutz on my shirt.
286
00:12:57,540 --> 00:12:59,700
Can Warren just come
over if he's not busy?
287
00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:01,620
Of course your brother can come over.
288
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:04,130
I mean, come on.
That dude is not busy.
289
00:13:04,140 --> 00:13:05,847
[ both laugh ]
290
00:13:06,101 --> 00:13:08,028
[ indistinct conversations ]
291
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:13,178
- Okay, have fun.
- Hey, thank you for being so cool.
292
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:14,515
- Sure.
- You rock.
293
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:18,220
Oh, well, there's Bree.
I will see you guys later.
294
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:21,020
- Okay. Bye.
- Thank you.
295
00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:24,356
- Can't believe she thinks you're cool.
- I am cool. [ chuckles ]
296
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,100
Oh, look, there's a
yogurt shop over there.
297
00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:30,060
- Oh, can we stop at that ATM?
- [ sighs ] Man, I crushed it today.
298
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,500
[ ATM beeping ]
You know, Pete and Diane ...
299
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:32,740
they don't know teenagers like I do.
300
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:34,620
You just ... you got to
be friends with them first,
301
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:36,500
and then they'll always
be straight with you.
302
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:40,740
Totally.
There goes your friend.
303
00:13:43,580 --> 00:13:46,940
Oh, my god, she lied to me!
I bet she's going to that party.
304
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:49,980
Some friend she is.
She didn't even invite you.
305
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,260
Is she wearing a turtleneck?
306
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,940
I'm gonna kill her.
Come on. Let's go!
307
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,240
[ music ]
308
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,760
This is the boringest car chase ever.
309
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,440
- Go faster.
- No, we're tailing them.
310
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:08,120
I swear, if Bree's sister makes
one violation, it's all over.
311
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,520
Well, I don't think that's gonna happen.
312
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,960
This is like following
someone to brunch after church.
313
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,080
[ music ]
314
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
315
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,440
[ grunts ]
316
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,800
[ cellphone chimes ]
317
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:37,960
Peter!
318
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,160
- Peter?
- Pete: Hmm?
319
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:44,560
- Hillary's going to a party.
- No, she ... she's at the movies.
320
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,280
No, she's going to a party
probably to see Ace McBrady.
321
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,560
Where are you getting all
this inside information?
322
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,800
- It doesn't matter.
- Yes, it does matter.
323
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,620
Fine. I set up a profile
for a fake girl named
324
00:14:55,621 --> 00:14:59,400
Courtney Winters who
supposedly lives one town over.
325
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,480
And then I made sure
she got really popular,
326
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,440
and now I use her to
spy on our children.
327
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:08,400
I'm feeling literally every
emotion towards you right now ...
328
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:09,960
fear, disgust, pride.
329
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,240
Oh, relax.
It's just some light catfishing.
330
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,400
What?
331
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,480
I think she just made three rights
in order to avoid a left.
332
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,440
Meg: What's happening now?
333
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:23,100
- She's pulling over to text.
- Who does that?!
334
00:15:23,140 --> 00:15:24,140
Bert: Here, use some blue.
335
00:15:24,180 --> 00:15:25,420
Hey, Bertie.
336
00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:27,420
Are you and Warren having a
good time playing together?
337
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,260
Warren: I might end up
doing jade for this one.
338
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,860
Hurry up, Warren! You've
only made one necklace!
339
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,940
I can do this fast, or I
can do it right. Pick one.
340
00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:36,140
I pick both.
341
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,840
Bert, why are you forcing
Warren to make jewelry?
342
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:41,300
- I'm paying him.
- Okay, why?
343
00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:43,936
Because Kirsten needs
50 pieces by tomorrow.
344
00:15:43,971 --> 00:15:46,100
Oh, honey, no, no.
345
00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:48,540
I shouldn't have stressed
you out with my issues.
346
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:49,700
Look at me. Hey.
347
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,460
Grownups have problems sometimes, okay?
348
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,820
But that's for us to
solve, not for you to solve.
349
00:15:55,860 --> 00:16:00,820
- But how will you be happy?
- Oh, sweetie, listen.
350
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,620
Businesses, they come and go, right?
351
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:06,420
Like my real-estate
business, my pickle business.
352
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:08,340
But you know what makes me happy?
353
00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:11,820
- My shayna punim?
- Oh! Exactly.
354
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:13,860
Exactly.
[ cellphone vibrates ]
355
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:14,884
Wow. [ chuckling ]
Yes, Dad.
356
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:19,080
[ chuckles ] Hey, Dad.
To what do I owe the pleasure?
357
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,120
Some kid at your school is
having a big party tonight.
358
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,440
- I need the address.
- Oh, well, I have no idea.
359
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,400
Well, ask your friends.
360
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,560
All right, but, hey, they're
not gonna know either.
361
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,440
- "Hey, slut."
- Just hang on.
362
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,480
"What's the address of the party?
I definitely want to swing by
363
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,680
after I proofread my Spanish homework."
364
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,880
M-wah. ... Courtney."
365
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,918
That's how it's done.
Alexa always has the deets.
366
00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:43,170
Oh, hey, um, Dad, if you
figure out where the party is,
367
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:46,290
- can I come, too?
- [ cellphone chimes ] Oh! Bingo.
368
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:47,930
[ indistinct conversations ]
369
00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:49,410
[ mid-tempo music plays ]
370
00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:51,250
No more Mrs. Cool mom.
371
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,970
I hope these kids have booze.
372
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:56,890
- I wonder if Courtney Winters is coming.
- I hung out with her yesterday.
373
00:16:56,930 --> 00:16:58,050
All: Ooh!
374
00:16:58,090 --> 00:16:59,290
Boy: Yeah!
375
00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:00,970
Party's over!
376
00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:04,010
- [ gasps ] Kate?!
- Where's the booze?
377
00:17:04,130 --> 00:17:08,330
I'm confiscating it. Any bourbon?
Any single-barrel bourbon?
378
00:17:08,370 --> 00:17:10,370
You lied to me, and I trusted you.
379
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:13,130
This is the worst night of
the worst day of my life.
380
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:15,730
- Well...
- Pete: Hillary, are you down here?
381
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:16,659
- Here she is.
- Oh, my god!
382
00:17:16,758 --> 00:17:19,593
Hillary Rodham Harrison,
I am beyond disappointed.
383
00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:22,580
You lied to us again.
Do you even like movies?
384
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:24,100
Okay, so, it's not enough
to embarrass me online.
385
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,020
Now you have to do it in person, too?
386
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,340
Oh, you brought this on yourself.
387
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,380
- Absolutely.
- I thought we were friends.
388
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:29,860
Why do you want to be friends with me?
389
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,540
- Well ...
- Um, because it's awesome.
390
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:34,260
I was best friends with my Mom,
and she let us do whatever we wanted.
391
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:35,380
Okay, well, not whatever we wanted.
392
00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:36,540
Yeah, pretty much whatever we wanted.
393
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:37,820
I mean, we drove her
car when we were like 13.
394
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,220
- Okay.
- That's crazy!
395
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,700
- That's not old enough to drive!
- Okay, enough of this
396
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,500
"being best friends with
your child" nonsense.
397
00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:48,140
I think that we've all
learned a valuable lesson ...
398
00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:50,940
- Never question Diane.
- No, of course. [ scoffs ]
399
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:53,340
No, that's not the lesson.
If anything, being so overprotective
400
00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:54,940
is probably what drove her to this.
401
00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:57,340
- Oh, absolutely not.
- Oh, yeah, sure. Blame the parents. [ chuckles ]
402
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,340
- Well, what ...
- Thank you for once for agreeing with me.
403
00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:00,393
It's always the parents' fault.
It's never everyone else's.
404
00:18:00,394 --> 00:18:02,060
- It's never the fault ...
- Excuse me!
405
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,860
Do you mind taking
this argument elsewhere?
406
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,963
- Some of us are trying to rage.
- Who the hell are you?
407
00:18:06,187 --> 00:18:07,325
Hi.
408
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,800
- Ace McBrady.
- Ace McBrady.
409
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,920
- You're Ace McBrady?
- Well, my real name's Martin,
410
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,720
but they call me Ace
'cause I ace every test.
411
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,920
Meg: Where's the liquor, McBrady?
412
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,920
- I thought he'd be cooler.
- Yeah, me too.
413
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,600
Did you not hear?
I ace every test.
414
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,840
You know, I don't know why
you guys are so freaked out.
415
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,360
I mean, if this is the kind
of party she's going to,
416
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,160
you have nothing to be worried about.
This party sucks.
417
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,800
What? Are you serious?
This party's off the chain!
418
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,000
I mean, that girl is
sitting on a coffee table!
419
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,920
I'm eating pizza that's not on a plate.
420
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:38,800
I bet these kids don't even recycle.
421
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,000
- Girl: [ gasps ] Of course, we recycle!
- Pete: I think those kids are playing bridge.
422
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,440
Okay, maybe we overreacted.
423
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,880
This is exactly the kind of
party we want Hillary to go to.
424
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,642
- Yeah.
- Well, we would like no fooling around.
425
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:52,408
So, now that we've established
that I'm a great kid,
426
00:18:52,504 --> 00:18:56,240
- can you please leave?
- Yeah, my Mom hasn't met you guys yet.
427
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,220
We're going. You're coming with us.
428
00:18:58,260 --> 00:18:59,300
- You're still grounded.
- Diane: I'll handle this.
429
00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:01,420
We're leaving, but you're coming
with us. You're still grounded.
430
00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:03,220
Stop! I am the original grounder!
431
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:05,100
I get to say if she's still grounded!
432
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,300
Hillary, we're leaving.
You're coming with us.
433
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:07,500
- Aw. I'm so sorry.
- You're still grounded.
434
00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:09,020
- I just said that.
- I'm so sorry.
435
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,740
- Come on. You two.
- I'm so embarrassed!
436
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:11,900
Keep up the good grades.
437
00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:16,220
Wow. Hillary still gets grounded?
What is she, 10?
438
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:18,320
Hi. You're Lindsey, right?
439
00:19:18,321 --> 00:19:21,380
- Courtney Winters' best friend?
- Yes.
440
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:25,540
I'm Courtney Winters.
441
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:32,220
[ sighs ] I just wanted to
be her best friend, you know?
442
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:33,500
She's a teenager.
443
00:19:33,620 --> 00:19:35,420
She'll be your best
friend when she's 25.
444
00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:38,620
Till then, 12 years of
her thinking you're evil.
445
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,780
- Really?
- I don't know. That's what I hear.
446
00:19:40,820 --> 00:19:41,980
[ sighs ]
447
00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:45,140
I've got as much experience
raising teenagers as you do.
448
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:49,460
- What about Warren?
- Warren's a unique case.
449
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:52,380
- Pbht! Pbht! Pbht! Pbht!
- Oh, Warren, stop.
450
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:56,620
[ sighs ] "Dear Courtney,
I know we've never met in person,
451
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:58,260
but I think we'd really hit it off.
452
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,140
I'd love to take you
on a date sometime.
453
00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:05,260
I'm free any night for any activity.
Please say yes."
454
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,180
Your friend and, hopefully,
future boyfriend and hey ...
455
00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:13,940
Who knows? ...
Maybe future husband, Warren Harrison."
456
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,620
[ sighs ]
457
00:20:19,349 --> 00:20:20,818
[ gunfire ]
458
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:24,060
[ computer chimes ]
459
00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,060
[ keyboard clacking ]
460
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,980
"Dear Warren,
you're really handsome,
461
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:33,740
but I only date boys
with a 3.5 GPA or higher.
462
00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:36,300
Sincerely, Courtney."
463
00:20:37,054 --> 00:20:39,166
I will earn your love, Courtney Winters!
464
00:20:39,201 --> 00:20:41,900
[ music ]
465
00:20:44,420 --> 00:20:47,820
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
466
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,076
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