1 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:14,973 [cell door slams] 2 00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:16,474 [theme song playing] 3 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,232 [cell door slams] 4 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,791 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,380 [inmate coughing] 6 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,759 [O'Neill] Don't crowd, and do not, under any circumstances, 7 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,093 -sneeze on me. -[sneezing] 8 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,638 I will write you up if you sneeze, 9 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:39,557 or if you, in any way, get me moist with your fluids. 10 00:01:39,642 --> 00:01:42,936 Please, step back, there's plenty for everyone 11 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,147 till we run out. 12 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,608 Okay, I need to make sure you swallowed that. Op... 13 00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:49,192 Thank you. 14 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,239 Ah! 15 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,450 I got mad control over my epiglottis. 16 00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,749 -[coughing] -[inmates grumbling] 17 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,258 [inmates coughing] 18 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,807 [man speaking indistinctly on PA] 19 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,455 Here. 20 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,458 Trust me. Have you been out there? 21 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,181 I look like Michael Jackson. 22 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:02,682 No, I... 23 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,144 I think you've got the wrong skin tone. 24 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,272 I look like Michael Jackson. 25 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:11,817 [dance music playing] 26 00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:34,131 {\an8}Well, if it isn't Litchfield's biggest celebrity. 27 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:36,925 [muffled] I don't know what that means. 28 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,260 Excuse me? 29 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,929 Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to stay healthy. 30 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,474 Boyfriend wrote quite the article about you. 31 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,185 Larry? 32 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:52,983 {\an8}Oh, my God! Oh, my God, is that the Times? 33 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,192 {\an8}Yep. 34 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,278 {\an8}-He's in the Times? -[chuckles] 35 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,654 {\an8}What... What did he say? 36 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,241 {\an8}He went on and on about your enchanting little love story. 37 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:04,244 {\an8}May I read it? I mean, I can wait until you're done, obviously. 38 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,914 I had no idea that he would actually make it in there. 39 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:11,001 Looks like I've already thrown mine away. 40 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:23,055 {\an8}Too much coffee... irritates the stomach lining. 41 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,389 {\an8}Trying to cut down. 42 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,399 Inmate! Out of the trash! 43 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,109 -But I just need to get... -Out! 44 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,156 [inmates coughing] 45 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,119 {\an8}Hey, there, baby bump. 46 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:50,748 {\an8}I can't give you the cold medicine, but I have got some menthol cough drops. 47 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:53,751 {\an8}-Crap. They're somewhere in here. -[exhales] 48 00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,420 {\an8}I don't have a cold. 49 00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:56,922 {\an8}Oh? 50 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,716 {\an8}That's good. Is your back hurting again? 51 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,635 {\an8}[breath trembling] 52 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,012 {\an8}I'm in labor. 53 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:06,514 {\an8}-[groans] -Oh, fuck. 54 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,954 {\an8}Morning, Red. 55 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,583 {\an8}If you're here to ransack my kitchen again, go ahead. 56 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,378 {\an8}The shelves could use a little dusting. 57 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,587 {\an8}Nah. 58 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,507 {\an8}I'm here to do you a favor. 59 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,093 {\an8}No, thanks. 60 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,598 {\an8}One of your little... adopted daughters 61 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,059 {\an8}woke up in full-tilt withdrawal this morning. 62 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,065 {\an8}Withdrawal from what? 63 00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,985 {\an8}My girls are clean. 64 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,319 {\an8}[Pornstache] Hmm. 65 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,530 {\an8}Well, I guess this one slipped in the mud. 66 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:09,286 {\an8}Now that her supply's been... compromised, 67 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:13,206 {\an8}little Tricia's got a mean old case of the detox blues. 68 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,418 {\an8}Then it's your fault. Your mess. 69 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,170 {\an8}You deal with it. 70 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,504 {\an8}Believe me, 71 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:25,260 {\an8}you do not want to see... how I would deal with it. 72 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:29,639 Now, the prison doesn't need a case of the junkie jitters on record, 73 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:35,437 and I'm pretty sure that... you don't want people thinking you've been a bad mommy. 74 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:40,650 {\an8}So... you're gonna walk her through it. 75 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,029 {\an8}Quietly. 76 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:53,038 {\an8}This whole time, you've been giving it to her. 77 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,873 {\an8}Really, Red? 78 00:06:55,958 --> 00:07:00,462 {\an8}At a time like this... does that matter? 79 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,883 {\an8}I'll take care of it. 80 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:21,942 [man speaking Russian] I have eighty crates of tomatoes rotting 81 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:26,113 in a Bensonhurst warehouse. Eighty. 82 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:29,407 I lower prices, our competition lowers prices. 83 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:34,246 And like this Neptune has lost three restaurants in three weeks. 84 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,289 The men who run these restaurants, maybe we meet with them, 85 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,665 maybe you make deal to bid the lowest. 86 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:41,878 [speaking English] It's not about the prices, it's about the books. 87 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:42,963 [Dmitri speaking Russian] Right. 88 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,797 [speaking English] We have to move product regularly. 89 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,884 Then, and only then, we can explain other income. 90 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,428 Maybe you're not thinking big enough. 91 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,765 Restaurants come and go, yes? 92 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,226 Look at this place. 93 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,186 Every week, we almost close. 94 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:01,064 But not schools. Not hospitals. 95 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,149 Galina... 96 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,775 All I'm saying is, 97 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,987 you get something big, something steady, 98 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,197 like the Italians have with the garbage, 99 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,242 then you're not out chasing bids. 100 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:16,788 My father, he sold candy out of a box. 101 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,498 Every day, up and down the street. 102 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,875 He walked so much he wore holes in his shoes. 103 00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:25,713 Until one day, he passed by an army base, right after the soldiers' lunchtime. 104 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:31,553 And he realized that all he had to do was stand there and open his box. 105 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,139 He sold out in minutes. 106 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,267 So he did it again, day after day. 107 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,352 There were always soldiers, 108 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,728 there was always lunch, 109 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:43,356 and they always wanted candy bars. 110 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,733 No more holes in his shoes. 111 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,988 [speaking Russian] I need more cream. 112 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,408 Of course, honey. 113 00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,207 -[mock chattering] -[laughing] 114 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,596 Got enough, bro? 115 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,265 I wrote something in here. A column. 116 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,476 Look. Look, look. 117 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,895 See that? That's me. 118 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,982 -I'm a writer. -No shit. 119 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,109 Yeah. 120 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:30,278 -Arturo! -Yeah. 121 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:32,239 Dude right here's in the paper. 122 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,532 What'd he do? 123 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:37,034 Check it. Says he wrote a column! 124 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:40,247 For real? Yo, that's sick, son! 125 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,831 It is? 126 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:45,085 Someday you're gonna write the whole paper, bro. 127 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,546 [chuckling] Okay. 128 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,132 Yo, you on Facebook? 129 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,771 [cell phone ringing] 130 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,564 Shit. [sighs] 131 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,111 Hello? 132 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:14,030 [man] An inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison is attempting to contact you. 133 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,783 To accept this call, please press one. 134 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,451 -Hey. -[Piper] Larry? 135 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,661 I've got great news. 136 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,870 Hi! I know. 137 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,456 -You know? -Yeah, your article came out today. 138 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,707 Isn't it great? 139 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,295 I mean, I wasn't expecting it, but I got the call last night. 140 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,130 So, apparently they pulled Randy's story 141 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,840 about the surge in home breweries in Brooklyn 142 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:36,511 because The New Yorker is running one on the surge in home wineries in Brooklyn. 143 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:37,762 So they ran mine instead. 144 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,013 That's great, honey. 145 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,515 I know. Everyone's been so positive. 146 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,560 My high school English teacher called my parents. 147 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,604 Your brother, he sent me a picture text of a thumbs up. [chuckles] 148 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,022 Can you read it to me? 149 00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:51,734 Want me to read it? I am going to read it. 150 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,279 "One Sentence, Two Prisoners." 151 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,364 That sounds like "Two Girls, One Cup." 152 00:10:56,448 --> 00:11:00,034 No, it doesn't. This... This is one, two, not two, one. 153 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,994 And no one is shitting in any cup, okay? 154 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,164 I left that part out. Your secret is safe. 155 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,540 Thanks. 156 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,624 [laptop chiming] 157 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,085 Oh, hold on. Another one. 158 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,463 Let's see what it says. It's from Pete. 159 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,215 [woman moaning] 160 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:17,594 Porn. He just... He sent porn. [clears throat] 161 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,096 [groaning] 162 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,350 What is that? Is that porn? 163 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:25,352 Oh... 164 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,103 Oh, Maria might be in labor. 165 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,521 What? 166 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,065 Could you google symptoms of labor? 167 00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:32,525 They're running bets. 168 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:36,904 If I guess closest to the birth time, I could win a Twix. 169 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,740 I want to make an educated guess. 170 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,283 Isn't there a doctor in there? 171 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,701 There's a nurse. He says that she's gotta wait 172 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:45,330 till her contractions are less than a minute apart to go to the hospital. 173 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,624 That's cutting it pretty close. All right, here we go. 174 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:51,669 Okay, if her cervix has softened, she's definitely in labor. 175 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:54,213 Larry, how am I supposed to tell if her cervix is soft? 176 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:57,800 Wait. Crowning. Let's look at crowning. 177 00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,386 Oh, Jesus Christ. 178 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,304 Yeah. 179 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,097 I'll definitely send that to Pete. 180 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:06,643 Speaking of whom, he is taking me out for a drink tonight. 181 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:11,481 Uh, Polly, too. And some other people. To, uh, celebrate. 182 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,149 Sounds like fun. 183 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,319 Who else is going? 184 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,864 I don't know. Polly made a... a last-minute Evite so... 185 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:22,659 So you're having a party. An Evite equals party. 186 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,869 Why didn't you just tell me you were going to a party tonight? 187 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:26,746 With all of our friends. 188 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,791 You're not here to tell me I can't wear brown shoes with black pants. 189 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,084 -It's pretty basic. -[chuckles] 190 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,003 I know. Still. 191 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,008 I am really happy for you. 192 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,804 This is a really big thing. 193 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,599 And it deserves to be celebrated. 194 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,562 Yeah, okay. 195 00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,439 You're gonna have a great time. 196 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,525 And you deserve that. 197 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,447 And on my end... 198 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,617 I have a really strong shot at a Twix bar. 199 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,412 It's a great day. 200 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,664 [sighs] Of course. 201 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:13,793 I have to go to work soon. Can you read me the article? 202 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,629 The rest of the world got to read your story before I did. 203 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,047 Our story. 204 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,468 Okay. 205 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,802 Okay. Here it goes. 206 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:26,681 "It always starts the same way, with a latte and a bacon scone. 207 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,558 And then I hit the road..." 208 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,477 [Aleida speaking Spanish] You gotta walk, honey. 209 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,978 [Maria speaking English] I'ma kill that motherfucker! 210 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,856 -[Aleida] The nurse? -My boyfriend. And the nurse, too. 211 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,484 [wailing] 212 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,611 [speaking Spanish] Fuck him and his fucking mother. 213 00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:40,945 -[speaking English] Time? -It's the same. 214 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:43,030 He said she cannot come back until they're closer. I'm sorry. 215 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,491 That maricón wouldn't know labor 216 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,325 if that baby popped out and slapped him in the fucking face. 217 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,827 Well, it's not him. It's the rules. 218 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,579 Well, he's the face of the rules. 219 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,414 -Just keep walking, mami. -I'm gonna try. 220 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,041 Here. Had to haggle with las negritas, but I got it. 221 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,167 Got what? 222 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:58,463 To get Lucy coming out, they made me eat a whole pineapple. 223 00:13:58,546 --> 00:13:59,922 But that's pineapple soda. 224 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,091 You know, for my son, they told me to play with my chichitas. 225 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,926 You know, it just gets the hormones going. 226 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,887 You know, you gotta just twiddle them. You wanna try it? 227 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,346 [shouting indistinctly] 228 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,393 -Come on, less talking. Just breathe. -[Maria grumbling] 229 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,769 [Aleida] Okay. Come on. 230 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,075 And then there were two. 231 00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,619 Where is everybody? 232 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,289 They're sick. Pussies. I don't believe in getting sick. 233 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,582 Wow. 234 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,584 -Mind over mucous, huh? -Yeah. 235 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,336 That, and I stockpile from commissary. 236 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:40,755 I'm on a cough syrup cocktail 237 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,174 that would make Lil Wayne vomit in his dreads. 238 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,844 New reading material. 239 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,055 I'm assuming you're both fluent in Hindi. 240 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,890 I think there are pictures. 241 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:54,477 There's a broken dryer in the laundry room. 242 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,063 Martha or Maddie or some shit. 243 00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:01,317 I can't keep track of the nicknames. Just... take care of it. 244 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,694 How? 245 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,197 Make it not broken. 246 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,244 [chuckles] 247 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,163 [inmates coughing] 248 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,960 [inmate 1 sneezing] 249 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,588 -[inmate 2] Bless you. -[inmate 1 blowing nose] 250 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,425 Man, I'm never gonna get this shit. 251 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,427 The label fell off. 252 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:30,513 Guide to Bird-Watching. Seven-hundreds? 253 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,557 Five-hundreds. That's science. 254 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,766 But it's a hobby, though. 255 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,727 A hobby about science. 256 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,396 Okay. 257 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,733 [sighs] So, you gonna tell me how it went, or what? 258 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,109 How what went? 259 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,862 Your bat mitzvah, bitch! What do you think I'm talking about? 260 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,490 I don't know. It went. 261 00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:51,618 A bunch of people I never met looked at my case file. 262 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,994 One guy had a beard. 263 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,705 -They asked you a lot of questions? -Not as many as you. 264 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,629 All right, look. I really appreciate you trying to teach me all this, 265 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,881 -getting me assigned and every... -[Sister Ingalls shushes] 266 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:06,966 [sighs] 267 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:12,680 Look, what I mean is... if you don't leave, 268 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,557 I'll just go right back to clean crew. 269 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,183 This your job. I know you like it here. 270 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,645 Don't nobody like it here. 271 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:22,857 Your hair looked good. 272 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,443 It did. 273 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,570 [both chuckling] 274 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,330 [buzzing] 275 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,210 [man on PA] Attention, all personnel, be advised count is not clear. 276 00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:44,921 Please conduct a recount. 277 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,550 Hey, there. 278 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,217 Hey. 279 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:53,179 Hear you got a broken appliance, ma'am. 280 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:54,388 Yeah? 281 00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:57,308 A real rusty old thing that needs fixing? 282 00:16:57,391 --> 00:17:00,186 Oh, well, my husband isn't home. He's got the checkbook. 283 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,271 Hopefully there's some way I could pay you. 284 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:06,233 Well, I have been feeling a little tense lately. 285 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:09,779 Maybe if I stick my dick in your mouth, it might help me relax. 286 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,573 God. No, thanks. 287 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,491 What? Too hetero? 288 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:19,831 Okay. How about "wrench in your twat"? 289 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,919 All right. Well, the broken one's over there, and her name's Myra. 290 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,796 So you can stick your wrench in her twat. 291 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,089 [snickers] 292 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,757 [candies clattering] 293 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,762 I hate when she sends The Quiet Storm. 294 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,430 Can't she just come over and tap you on the shoulder? 295 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,891 She has an irrational fear of the spin cycle. 296 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,935 Won't step foot in here. 297 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,061 I'd better go. 298 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,313 Yeah, well... Mommy needs you. 299 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:47,734 Can't be that serious. When it's serious, she throws coconuts. 300 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,777 [sighs] 301 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,367 [Nicky] Come on! 302 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,122 [door closing] 303 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,670 You don't look half bad in those. 304 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,884 Thanks. 305 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:16,178 [chuckles] You sure you know what you're doing? 306 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,639 [Nicky] I have no idea. 307 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,223 Don't lie to me. 308 00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:22,518 She made a mistake, okay? She's 19 years old. 309 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:26,272 I covered for her when she got here. Hmm? Just like I did for you. 310 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,232 And I warned her if it ever... 311 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,067 It's not like it's her choice. 312 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,112 I mean, she's an addict, all right? She had a slip. 313 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,614 We can help her. Just give her a chance. 314 00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:37,909 No more chances. Two strikes, that's what she gets. 315 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,036 Russians don't play baseball. 316 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,328 Jesus, with this shit. 317 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,414 She needs to go down, 318 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:46,668 and whoever she drags down with her deserves it. 319 00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:53,132 You send her down the hill, she's fucked, and you know it. 320 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:57,219 Okay, you're taking this personally. It's not personal, it's chemical. 321 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,723 Drugs have a way of making you do shit you don't wanna do. 322 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,392 So do I. 323 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,984 [clanking] 324 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,194 Okay. 325 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,033 [electricity crackling] 326 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,367 [laughs] 327 00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:22,244 I look pathetic. I'm aware. 328 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,330 -I wasn't laughing at you. -Right. 329 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,834 Anyway, significantly less funny than the time you fixed our toaster 330 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,168 with a hot glue gun. 331 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,546 [chuckling] 332 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,382 -You wanna see something? -What? 333 00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,509 Okay, so we don't just do inmate laundry, right? 334 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,635 Right. 335 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,847 Some of the guards drop off their clothes, too. 336 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,014 So, Wanda Bell? 337 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,516 You might remember her as the bloodsucking dragon-cunt? 338 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,560 She works up front, eats souls for fun? 339 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:50,690 Every once in a while, we find a pair of men's boxers in there. 340 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:55,652 No big deal. Even Bigfoot's gonna get laid sometimes. 341 00:19:55,737 --> 00:20:00,116 Except these boxers have a name stitched on them like he's a third grader. 342 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,575 S. O'Neil. 343 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:04,746 [gasping] No! The guard S. O'Neill? 344 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:05,830 Drama! [chuckles] 345 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:09,792 -Where does that belly go? Ooh! -I don't know. 346 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,711 Hey! Y'all done having fun? 347 00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:16,799 We're just getting started, bitch. 348 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,969 [man speaking indistinctly on PA] 349 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,351 -I should finish fixing that. -You want some help? 350 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:30,646 No, that's really okay. 351 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,439 I work these machines all day. 352 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,360 I saw Little Sarah get a shot for helping Nicky hold a ladder. 353 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,779 So? 354 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:41,240 You're laundry, I'm electric. We're from different worlds. 355 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,454 And I don't want any trouble. 356 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,916 Oh, fuck her. 357 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,544 I'm gonna help you... no strings attached. 358 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,607 [man speaking indistinctly on PA] 359 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:23,157 -How goes it? -I've been better. 360 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,409 If I tell you it gets easier, does that make me corny? 361 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:26,911 Makes you a liar. 362 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:33,292 Yeah. Brought you some O.J. Carton, not Simpson. 363 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,961 [chuckles] 364 00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:39,465 Man, this clinic my mom dragged me to, 365 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:42,759 they strapped me down to a bed just like this. 366 00:21:42,844 --> 00:21:46,222 So the nurses hated me, 'cause I kept makin' Exorcist jokes. 367 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,515 "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!" [chuckles] 368 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,393 That shit never gets old, right? 369 00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,815 I might actually be lucky this happened now. 370 00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:58,525 [shivering] Guards just think I got the flu like everyone else. 371 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:01,153 Well, in two days, you're gonna be wishing you had the flu. 372 00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,574 -I'm lucky you're here with me. -Yeah. 373 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,202 And I'll get through it. I'll get back on track. 374 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,829 They won't even find out I was using. 375 00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,080 Yes, they will. 376 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,000 Shit, no. Girls got my back, right? 377 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,543 I ain't never snitched nobody, so who's gonna tell 'em? 378 00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,713 -You are. -What? 379 00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:23,009 Two strikes. That's all you get. 380 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:26,637 Red sent me. Says she doesn't play baseball. 381 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,765 I'm quitting, Nicky. Tell her that. Don't make me go down there. 382 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,683 This isn't about you. 383 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:35,521 Red's fighting a bigger fight. Shit's changing around here. 384 00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:38,274 She is supposed to take care of us. 385 00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:42,236 You're gonna get up. 386 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:43,695 You're gonna walk down to the CO's office... 387 00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:45,072 Please. 388 00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:46,740 You're gonna tell him you're using and throw yourself on his mercy. 389 00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:48,951 They'll put me in the SHU, and I'll die in there. 390 00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:51,620 You won't die, you'll suffer. 391 00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:56,083 And then you'll come back out. Say what you need to say. 392 00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:58,419 You're supposed to be my family. 393 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,048 Not anymore. 394 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:14,185 [sobbing] Nicky! Nicky, no! No! 395 00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:18,230 Please. Please! Please, don't go! 396 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:19,941 Stop. Wait! 397 00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:21,608 Damn. [breathing heavily] 398 00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:24,403 Está bien, okay? Come on, mamá. Almost there. 399 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,905 -All right. You're doing great. Okay. -Okay. 400 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,074 [speaking Spanish] Lie down. 401 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:31,577 Just my luck, right? I go into labor the day the fucking plague hits. 402 00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:33,955 -They'll be here soon. Just rest. -[whimpering] 403 00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:35,831 You're gonna need your energy. 404 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:36,915 [coughing] 405 00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:39,376 You, quiet. She's laboring here. 406 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,836 Is the baby gonna be staying with us? 407 00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:44,340 You see any babies around here? 408 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,549 Besides you? 409 00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:52,389 I'll be back. Breathe. Relax and breathe. 410 00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:54,933 And if you feel like you gotta go to the bathroom, 411 00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:56,310 -that's the baby comin'. -Huh? [breathing heavily] 412 00:23:56,393 --> 00:24:00,439 Hold it in... and pray it doesn't turn out like that one. 413 00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:02,524 Okay? I'll be right back. 414 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:04,943 [whimpering] 415 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:09,448 Y'all are like a novela. You know that, right? 416 00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:12,284 Y'all are like some cautionary tale shit. 417 00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:14,996 You two should tour high schools for abstinence, 418 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:18,249 'cause a minute with you two is better than Plan B. 419 00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:20,167 Whatever. 420 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:26,215 If my daughter ever talked to me that way... 421 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,135 If I ever talk to her that way... 422 00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:31,762 I mean, shit. What's the point? 423 00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:35,849 This world is full enough with bitches trying to kill you. 424 00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:44,066 The hospital van just parked. Let's go have a baby. 425 00:24:45,942 --> 00:24:47,069 [groaning] 426 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:49,488 Okay, okay. 427 00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:52,366 [Nurse] Good, good, good. Okay. 428 00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:53,492 [breathing heavily] Oh, my God... 429 00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:56,162 [Nurse] All right, let's get you to the van. 430 00:24:56,245 --> 00:24:58,039 Everything's going to be okay. 431 00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:03,294 Hey, uh... 432 00:25:03,377 --> 00:25:05,003 Okay, so be careful. 433 00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:07,256 Relax. I do this all the time. 434 00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:09,550 Why? 435 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,427 Because it's fucked up. 436 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:15,806 And when you work with geniuses like I do, the motor gets stuck all the time. 437 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:16,973 Did you find it? 438 00:25:17,058 --> 00:25:19,476 I don't know. I need a little more light back here. 439 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,395 Okay. How about that? 440 00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:22,896 -Better. -Okay. 441 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:29,361 So... it looks like the safety lock is connected with a blue wire 442 00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:34,866 to something back there that's got, like, two screws sticking right out of it, 443 00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:37,619 and it's right next to this T-shaped thing. 444 00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:41,998 -Oh, damn it! -[clunking] 445 00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:43,792 -Shit! -Shit! 446 00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:45,377 I have to get more batteries. 447 00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:48,130 -Fuck! My glasses fell off. -I'll be right back. 448 00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:53,219 I think I can reach it if I could just angle my fucking hand back there. 449 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:57,055 -[latch clicking] -[Alex] What the fuck? 450 00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,144 What the hell are you doing? 451 00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:03,520 Who, me? 452 00:26:05,189 --> 00:26:07,733 I'm just getting started, bitch. 453 00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:22,038 Oh... 454 00:26:22,123 --> 00:26:23,499 Fuck me. 455 00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,508 You wanted to see me? 456 00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,260 Patricia Miller. 457 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:38,930 Trailer park all-star with the... classy neck tat? 458 00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:40,098 Oh, yeah. 459 00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:44,811 She just got a 100 series shot for a nasty case of the DTs. 460 00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:46,062 Wow. 461 00:26:46,147 --> 00:26:48,232 Hope they got a lot of mops in the SHU. [chuckles] 462 00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:51,026 Did she say anything? 463 00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:53,237 She just cried and shook. 464 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,406 Thing is, she's been here 10 months. 465 00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:59,868 How come she doesn't go cold turkey a while back? 466 00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:03,247 Something's been getting in here. 467 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,081 I always said, when they first come through, 468 00:27:05,166 --> 00:27:07,251 we should check their assholes thoroughly. 469 00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:11,755 If the wrong person realizes there's product moving through this prison... 470 00:27:11,838 --> 00:27:14,883 It's one junkie. It's an isolated thing. 471 00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:19,888 Oh, really? I bet my balls we get 10 more sweating it out by the end of the month. 472 00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:27,896 And if they turn up, the warden's gonna want somebody's head. 473 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:31,733 And it ain't gonna be mine. 474 00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,570 I'm sure it'll all be fine. 475 00:27:35,987 --> 00:27:40,326 Besides, whatever she was doing... clearly ran out, right? 476 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,953 So... you're good. 477 00:27:43,036 --> 00:27:45,747 Let's see how good I am a week from now. 478 00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:48,959 I hope, for all our sakes, you're right. 479 00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:55,882 And Mendez? Question. 480 00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:57,968 It's off-topic. 481 00:27:58,051 --> 00:28:01,012 I got a look in a bar last night. 482 00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,557 This... This guy... 483 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:09,896 The mustache. It hasn't become like a... gay thing, has it? 484 00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:11,815 [scoffs] 485 00:28:11,898 --> 00:28:14,025 No. Fuck, no. Gay! 486 00:28:14,985 --> 00:28:18,029 The 'stache is not for fags, it's for fuckin' men. 487 00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:20,282 -Yeah. -It's fuckin' all-beef... 488 00:28:20,366 --> 00:28:22,743 fucking cunt-ramming awesome. 489 00:28:24,370 --> 00:28:25,579 Okay. 490 00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,457 Just checking. 491 00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:36,423 [banging] 492 00:28:36,507 --> 00:28:39,260 Oh, my God. Alex? 493 00:28:39,343 --> 00:28:40,427 Get me out of here. 494 00:28:40,511 --> 00:28:44,014 What? It's locked. Are you okay? 495 00:28:44,097 --> 00:28:45,516 No! 496 00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:47,226 Maybe I can, uh... 497 00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:49,395 What the hell happened? 498 00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:51,272 It was that fucking meth-head! 499 00:28:51,355 --> 00:28:53,106 -Seriously? -Yes! 500 00:28:53,189 --> 00:28:55,734 -I'm gonna go get help. -No, no, no! No, no, no! 501 00:28:55,817 --> 00:28:57,027 Just open the door. 502 00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,238 If they find out that I was helping you, I'm gonna get in trouble. 503 00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:00,489 You said so yourself. 504 00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:02,908 -You offered. -Are you serious? 505 00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:05,160 -I told you that this was a bad idea. -[thudding] 506 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:06,370 I did! 507 00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:07,663 -Don't you do that! -Do what? 508 00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:09,706 That thing. Like this is my fault. 509 00:29:09,790 --> 00:29:10,791 You know what I mean. 510 00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:14,378 Like you aren't accountable for anything that ever happens in your life, ever. 511 00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:16,755 Am I supposed to tell them that I made you get into the dryer? 512 00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:19,425 No, I want you to get me out. 513 00:29:19,508 --> 00:29:23,887 Read that manual, unjam the door, step the fuck up! 514 00:29:25,931 --> 00:29:27,349 Wait, Piper, where are you going? 515 00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:29,685 -I'm just gonna go... -No! Don't you go! 516 00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:31,520 Don't you fucking leave me. 517 00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:42,531 Okay. 518 00:29:44,366 --> 00:29:45,576 "Okay," what? 519 00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:51,832 I'm here. 520 00:29:58,714 --> 00:30:02,634 So, this is all of 'em, huh? All the approved vendors? 521 00:30:02,718 --> 00:30:05,304 That's it. Just those five. 522 00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:07,222 Nobody else gets through this gate? 523 00:30:08,390 --> 00:30:10,351 No suspicious delivery guy, 524 00:30:10,434 --> 00:30:13,979 no shady-lookin' mook in a fuckin' tampon truck? 525 00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:17,983 There's creepy linens dude, and the dry goods lady, 526 00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:20,151 -the vegetable people. -[horn honking] 527 00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:24,698 Sounds like a horror movie, doesn't it? The Vegetable People? 528 00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:30,161 Like a giant celery serial killer, carrying a machete. 529 00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:34,666 [laughing] Or broccoli lightin' shit up with a flame-thrower. 530 00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:36,460 [mimicking flame-thrower] 531 00:30:36,543 --> 00:30:39,421 "Who's a smoothie, now, bitches?" 532 00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:40,964 [snickers] 533 00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:44,009 Asshole. 534 00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:46,553 Shit's funny. 535 00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:49,515 -[Alex] It's almost count time. -I know. I know. 536 00:30:49,598 --> 00:30:51,392 I'm pretty sure I'm suffocating. 537 00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:54,686 Ow! 538 00:30:54,770 --> 00:30:56,438 -Loud. -Sorry. 539 00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:02,569 So, what, Nicky never came back? 540 00:31:02,653 --> 00:31:05,781 Your girlfriend? No. 541 00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,243 -My girlfriend? -Yeah. 542 00:31:10,326 --> 00:31:13,705 -What's that supposed to mean? -Nothing. Never mind. 543 00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:16,375 -No, what do you mean by that? -I said, nothing. I said, never mind. 544 00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:18,502 What, you expect me to wait for you to come around? 545 00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,879 -Come around? -Yeah. 546 00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:23,882 As in "get back together" come around? 547 00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:25,509 Are you kidding me? 548 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,429 -I'm engaged. -Right. 549 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:32,974 You know what? Do not confuse this. 550 00:31:33,058 --> 00:31:39,105 Maybe... just maybe, we will get friendly again. Maybe. 551 00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:40,941 -We were never friends, Piper. -We weren't-- 552 00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:44,194 No. Not for a second. 553 00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:47,989 I loved you... I loved having sex with you. 554 00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:52,077 [woman speaking indistinctly on PA] 555 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,955 And more importantly, I am not suggesting that I want you back, 556 00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:56,498 you Park Slope narcissist. 557 00:31:56,582 --> 00:32:00,251 I mean for you to come around like an actual human being. 558 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:03,004 And not with some hollow bullshit apology, 559 00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:06,967 or that cute little sad face that might work on your fucking boyfriend. 560 00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:11,137 I've been waiting for you to come around, and treat me like an actual human being 561 00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:13,849 and realize what a fucking horse's ass you've been. 562 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,518 -I've been a horse's ass? -Fuck, yeah! 563 00:32:16,602 --> 00:32:19,062 Fuck you! And this dryer! 564 00:32:19,145 --> 00:32:25,110 This fucking shitty piece of goddamn dryer! 565 00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:26,695 Dryer! 566 00:32:27,863 --> 00:32:29,280 [Luschek] So abusive. 567 00:32:31,324 --> 00:32:33,409 Maybe if you tried talking nice to it, 568 00:32:33,494 --> 00:32:38,665 or if you took your top off and rubbed up against it. 569 00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:41,543 Might pop open then, right, huh? 570 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:43,879 Shit. 571 00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:52,596 -What the hell's going on? -Fuck. 572 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:56,975 [Lorna] Where was it we're going? 573 00:32:57,058 --> 00:32:58,935 Wherever I tell you to go. 574 00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:04,816 Okay. It's just, I'm not supposed to be this far from camp. 575 00:33:06,234 --> 00:33:09,404 You're not supposed to wear that pretty whore lipstick either... 576 00:33:10,739 --> 00:33:12,073 but you do, don't ya? 577 00:33:22,167 --> 00:33:23,502 Yeah, stop here. 578 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:29,090 Shut the car off. 579 00:33:31,384 --> 00:33:32,553 [engine stops] 580 00:33:34,054 --> 00:33:36,014 [inhaling deeply] 581 00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,809 [exhales] 582 00:33:38,892 --> 00:33:40,018 [sobbing] 583 00:33:40,936 --> 00:33:43,063 The old Moscow mule. 584 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,106 Red? 585 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:47,233 She's got a way of bringing stuff in. 586 00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:52,197 It's not really up to code. Do you know what I mean? 587 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:53,532 [chuckling nervously] No. 588 00:33:53,615 --> 00:33:56,409 I need to know how. 589 00:33:59,495 --> 00:34:01,832 I don't know what you're talking about. 590 00:34:01,915 --> 00:34:04,710 I drive, I don't work kitchen. 591 00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:07,462 I know. You're afraid of her. 592 00:34:10,924 --> 00:34:14,886 [laughing] Shit... I don't blame you. 593 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,389 But you know what? 594 00:34:21,727 --> 00:34:27,273 There are things out here much worse than some scary Russian bitch. 595 00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:36,116 I'm gonna ask you again. Nicely. 596 00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:42,873 And then the third time... it's not gonna be very nice. 597 00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:46,084 For you. 598 00:34:46,877 --> 00:34:48,003 [chuckles] 599 00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:50,672 I told you. 600 00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:54,217 I don't know what she does. 601 00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:56,928 I drive, and I do what I need to do. 602 00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:04,895 And I can't help you 'cause I really don't know. 603 00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:10,316 So you do whatever. 604 00:35:12,485 --> 00:35:15,155 I can't tell you what I don't know. 605 00:35:31,046 --> 00:35:33,214 Start the car, inmate. [sighs] 606 00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:35,591 You're too far from camp. 607 00:35:35,676 --> 00:35:37,052 [engine starting] 608 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:45,769 [chuckling] I mean, what exactly were you two doing? 609 00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:46,853 When I got there, 610 00:35:46,937 --> 00:35:49,105 the blonde one was screaming and the hot one was stuck inside. 611 00:35:49,189 --> 00:35:51,232 [both] The hot one? 612 00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:55,236 [Healy] You can go, Luchek. 613 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,239 Okay. And it's, uh, Luschek. 614 00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:01,660 Like a "loose check." 615 00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:07,290 How long have I worked here, man? God! 616 00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:10,626 Mr. Healy, it was... I asked her. 617 00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:12,796 -No, I... Look, I volunteered. -No, no, no. I asked her. 618 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:14,005 She works in the laundry room, 619 00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:16,675 so I figured she knew more about the machines than I did. 620 00:36:16,758 --> 00:36:20,721 I know that I wasn't supposed to... but I did. 621 00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,347 -This is my fault. -No. Mr. Healy... 622 00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:23,682 Now, just shut up. 623 00:36:28,144 --> 00:36:32,691 A couple of years ago, we found two women naked from the waist down, 624 00:36:32,774 --> 00:36:35,944 sitting on those dryers for their own enjoyment. 625 00:36:37,153 --> 00:36:38,196 [chuckling] 626 00:36:38,279 --> 00:36:42,325 You wouldn't happen to have been doing anything like that, would you? 627 00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:44,786 I'm more of a dishwasher kind of gal, sir. 628 00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,371 [stifling laughter] 629 00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:48,373 -What? -Nothing. 630 00:36:54,963 --> 00:36:57,758 Glad you're making new friends, Chapman. 631 00:36:57,841 --> 00:36:59,134 I'm writing you both a shot. 632 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,094 Now get the hell out of my office. 633 00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:05,807 Chapman. 634 00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:10,395 You think if I wrote stories about you, I might make the papers? 635 00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,233 'Cause I'm gathering a nice collection here. 636 00:37:19,905 --> 00:37:23,658 [woman over PA] Due to repairs, clean clothes can be picked up tomorrow. 637 00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:28,288 [inmate coughing] 638 00:37:34,044 --> 00:37:36,755 Whoa! You moved her in? The fuck is she doing? 639 00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:40,383 What I told her to do. And watch your tone. 640 00:37:40,466 --> 00:37:42,552 It's my bunk, too. I get no say in this? 641 00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:45,138 No one gets a say. She was assigned by her counselor. 642 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:46,347 And she'll be good for you. 643 00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:49,309 -She never talks. -You might learn something. 644 00:37:53,855 --> 00:37:55,523 I've got friends of my own, you know. 645 00:37:55,606 --> 00:37:56,775 There's other people in this prison, 646 00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:58,777 not just the ones who drink your goddamn Kool-Aid. 647 00:37:58,860 --> 00:38:03,031 Are you finished? You're starting to sound finished. 648 00:38:04,490 --> 00:38:05,909 [scoffs] 649 00:38:10,705 --> 00:38:12,123 What, huh? 650 00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:24,052 [man speaking Russian] We had fun as usual. 651 00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:25,136 [laughing] 652 00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:26,888 It couldn't be any other way. 653 00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:31,684 The music was beautiful, the weather was great. 654 00:38:31,767 --> 00:38:33,519 We had a lot of fun. 655 00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:36,397 Dmitri. So good to see you. 656 00:38:36,481 --> 00:38:38,817 Good to see you too. 657 00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,485 I didn't know to expect you. 658 00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:43,947 Wait a minute, you've got to have some Khalva back there or something, no? 659 00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:47,951 Something sweet for us? To go with the coffee? 660 00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:57,878 Of course. 661 00:38:57,961 --> 00:39:00,338 I'll do it now, right away. 662 00:39:05,927 --> 00:39:10,431 [speaking English] Anyway, our guy looked into the government contracts thing. 663 00:39:10,515 --> 00:39:12,976 -Schools, hospitals. -Yeah? 664 00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:15,145 Looks like we'll be able to work something out. 665 00:39:22,485 --> 00:39:26,614 To this motherfucking wanker... right here. 666 00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:27,949 Here we go. 667 00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:32,954 To the first of many articles in world-class publishing and the like. 668 00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:37,625 After this comes the book deal, and then the movie deal, 669 00:39:37,708 --> 00:39:42,005 and then the inevitable... sexual harassment scandal. 670 00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:43,548 [men laughing] 671 00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:44,883 [Pete clears throat] 672 00:39:44,966 --> 00:39:46,759 Big-time newspaperman. 673 00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:50,138 -Salud! -[All] Salud! 674 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,348 -Cheers. -[Pete] Cheers. 675 00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,852 Thank you. Thank you, guys. 676 00:39:58,021 --> 00:39:59,272 [Pete] Mmm. 677 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,570 [Pete] It's my shout. 678 00:40:06,988 --> 00:40:08,448 You having an okay time? 679 00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:13,703 What? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. 680 00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:15,788 [clears throat] 681 00:40:15,871 --> 00:40:19,417 This is great. Really, Polly, thank you. 682 00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:21,419 This is awesome. 683 00:40:21,502 --> 00:40:23,588 It must be hard without her. 684 00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:24,755 You have no idea. 685 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,382 She'd want you to have a good time, I'm sure. 686 00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:27,926 Yeah, I know. 687 00:40:28,009 --> 00:40:29,970 -Doesn't make it any easier, though. -Right. 688 00:40:30,053 --> 00:40:31,554 Probably makes it harder. 689 00:40:31,637 --> 00:40:33,056 Bingo. 690 00:40:33,139 --> 00:40:34,140 [sighs] 691 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,269 I know I should be feeling thrilled right now. 692 00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:44,317 I'm in print... I'm young-ish. 693 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:48,029 And I'm healthy. Also "ish." 694 00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:55,703 I'm alive. I'm a living, breathing thing... and it's really... 695 00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:58,081 It's overwhelming how lucky I am. 696 00:40:59,915 --> 00:41:03,962 But yet every night... I go to bed, 697 00:41:04,045 --> 00:41:05,880 and I have this gnawing feeling. 698 00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:09,842 Like what I've got is not enough. 699 00:41:09,925 --> 00:41:12,262 And every morning I wake up thinking the feeling'll be gone, 700 00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:15,181 but... but it's not. 701 00:41:17,725 --> 00:41:20,811 Does that make me... a selfish, 702 00:41:20,895 --> 00:41:24,940 fucking ungrateful douche bag? 703 00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:28,611 -Larry, honey... -Hmm? 704 00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:31,656 Take me to the hospital. 705 00:41:31,739 --> 00:41:33,992 -Now? Now? -Now. 706 00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,787 This fiancé of yours... 707 00:41:37,870 --> 00:41:40,165 -Hmm? -[inmates coughing] 708 00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:42,375 What's it like when he comes to visit? 709 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:43,751 It's good. 710 00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:50,133 It's weird. 711 00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:58,308 Sometimes it feels like there's never enough time, 712 00:41:59,725 --> 00:42:01,602 and then sometimes 713 00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:04,980 it... feels like 714 00:42:05,065 --> 00:42:08,609 there's actually... too much. 715 00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:10,195 What do you mean by that? 716 00:42:10,278 --> 00:42:14,490 There's no menu, or basket of bread on the table, 717 00:42:14,574 --> 00:42:16,076 or TV to glance at. 718 00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:21,789 It's just us... looking at each other, 719 00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:23,416 which can be great. 720 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,252 And it should be. 721 00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:30,465 But sometimes... 722 00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,929 You just need to look away. 723 00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:45,813 Someone told me that you never have had a visitor. 724 00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:50,443 Can I ask why? 725 00:42:57,783 --> 00:43:00,120 I guess I just had to look away. 726 00:43:04,790 --> 00:43:06,209 [inmate sneezing] 727 00:43:09,337 --> 00:43:10,546 [Piper] Larry? 728 00:43:11,547 --> 00:43:13,508 Hey. I'm just relaxing, being normal. 729 00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:14,800 Reading about, uh... 730 00:43:15,843 --> 00:43:17,845 [stammers] Piper, that's my rinsing cup. 731 00:43:17,928 --> 00:43:20,431 Piper, you put a pee stick in my rinsing cup. 732 00:43:20,515 --> 00:43:23,643 Well, you put your pee stick in my vagina. And that's why we're in this situation. 733 00:43:23,726 --> 00:43:27,188 I love it when you call my mighty staff a pee stick. 734 00:43:30,065 --> 00:43:31,984 I think I might want it. 735 00:43:34,028 --> 00:43:35,655 My mighty staff? [chuckles] 736 00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:39,284 Piper, there is no "it" yet. 737 00:43:39,367 --> 00:43:41,035 I know. But if there is... 738 00:43:44,289 --> 00:43:45,998 You're going to prison in three months. 739 00:43:46,081 --> 00:43:47,875 I know. I could be pregnant while I'm in prison. 740 00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:49,544 What else am I gonna be doing in there? 741 00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:53,673 How did we go from not talking about kids at all to starting a prison family? 742 00:43:53,756 --> 00:43:55,883 People are always saying that there's never a perfect time. 743 00:43:55,966 --> 00:43:59,970 [chuckling] Okay, I'm not sure that our current situation applies here. 744 00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:05,185 Are we at least gonna talk about other options? 745 00:44:07,687 --> 00:44:08,771 You mean... 746 00:44:08,854 --> 00:44:11,482 It's not Voldemort. You can say it. Abortion. 747 00:44:11,566 --> 00:44:13,025 Oh. 748 00:44:13,108 --> 00:44:17,322 Look, not... Okay, not that I'd insist, Piper. Okay? I... 749 00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:20,450 Your body, yourself. It's a wonderland. 750 00:44:20,533 --> 00:44:21,909 I just... 751 00:44:23,244 --> 00:44:28,374 I'm just... I'm still stuck in the mindset that I've been in for so long. I don't... 752 00:44:28,458 --> 00:44:31,461 Like when Polly and Pete told us, 753 00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:34,380 I felt panicked for them before I remembered 754 00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:36,299 that people actually want to get pregnant now. 755 00:44:36,382 --> 00:44:38,426 So you're saying that you don't want it. 756 00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:42,347 I want to have a family with you, Piper. Of course. 757 00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:44,932 So, listen. You know all those conversations 758 00:44:45,015 --> 00:44:49,687 that we've had... about making my time in there meaningful? 759 00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:54,900 Well, we could, we could start a new future now, 760 00:44:54,984 --> 00:44:56,110 instead of waiting. 761 00:44:57,945 --> 00:45:02,533 Piper, the baby would come home, and you would still be in jail. 762 00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:08,038 Let's see what the pee stick has to say about this. 763 00:45:18,924 --> 00:45:20,301 I feel sad. 764 00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:24,639 I feel sad that you feel sad. 765 00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:37,735 He's beautiful. I mean, I don't know. 766 00:45:37,818 --> 00:45:40,363 That's what you're supposed to say, right? It's a baby. 767 00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:41,531 You have to say it's amazing. 768 00:45:41,614 --> 00:45:44,909 I mean, you can't say, "It's amazing how much he looks like John Goodman." 769 00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:47,119 Okay, so tell me everything. From the very beginning. 770 00:45:47,202 --> 00:45:48,413 You got Polly into the... 771 00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:50,039 I got Polly in, she's changing into her gown, 772 00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:52,082 and she's like, "Where's Pete? Where the hell is Pete?" 773 00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:55,545 So I go out and he's not in the waiting room, he's not in the lobby. 774 00:45:55,628 --> 00:45:58,881 I look outside. He is... He's on the ground, Piper. 775 00:45:58,964 --> 00:46:01,926 He's on the fucking pavement, wrestling with the cab driver. 776 00:46:02,009 --> 00:46:04,512 -Jesus! -Yeah. He left his credit card at the bar. 777 00:46:04,595 --> 00:46:07,807 And I can't pay the guy, 'cause of course Pete had done his whole, 778 00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:10,435 you know, "Don't bring a cent. Your money's no good here. 779 00:46:10,518 --> 00:46:11,769 Tonight is your night, mate," 780 00:46:11,852 --> 00:46:15,105 so I had to let the guy run the meter until Polly's dad got there. 781 00:46:15,189 --> 00:46:18,275 And Polly's dad rolled his eyes, 'cause... 782 00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:19,944 Of course he rolled his fucking eyes! 783 00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:22,154 And I'm like, "P.S., dickhead, I just saved your grandchild 784 00:46:22,237 --> 00:46:26,200 from being born on a gin-soaked shuffleboard table. You're welcome." 785 00:46:26,283 --> 00:46:27,952 Did she get the extra stitch? 786 00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:30,162 I don't know what that is. 787 00:46:30,245 --> 00:46:32,247 But everyone was asking about you, Pipes. 788 00:46:32,332 --> 00:46:34,291 I mean, everyone at the bar. 789 00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:36,711 Literally every chance they got. 790 00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:38,504 People like you, Piper Chapman. 791 00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:40,965 Even people that haven't met you. 792 00:46:41,048 --> 00:46:43,468 One of Polly's friends? She said she felt like she knows you 793 00:46:43,551 --> 00:46:45,678 because of how well I captured your spirit. 794 00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:50,933 She doesn't know me. 795 00:46:53,978 --> 00:46:56,564 That girl that you wrote about? That's not me. 796 00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:58,065 What do you mean? 797 00:47:03,112 --> 00:47:04,530 Nothing. 798 00:47:07,533 --> 00:47:10,495 Do you think that I'm a narcissist or a horse's ass? 799 00:47:10,578 --> 00:47:14,123 What? No, of course not. Why would you say that? 800 00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:19,044 [voice breaking] I missed your party. 801 00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:24,133 I couldn't get the dryer open. 802 00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:28,846 And I wasn't there when my best friend had her baby. 803 00:47:30,598 --> 00:47:32,392 It's just shitty. 804 00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:37,187 I know. 805 00:47:39,023 --> 00:47:40,608 [sobbing] 806 00:47:49,409 --> 00:47:50,993 [inmates clamoring] 807 00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:06,467 [silence] 808 00:48:10,471 --> 00:48:11,639 I got her. 809 00:48:20,272 --> 00:48:22,316 [speaking Spanish] Come on, honey. You're not alone. 810 00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:47,382 [music playing on headphones] 811 00:48:58,227 --> 00:48:59,228 [music stops] 812 00:49:00,354 --> 00:49:01,772 This room is for prayer. 813 00:49:01,856 --> 00:49:03,232 Never heard of it. 814 00:49:03,315 --> 00:49:04,609 [sighs] 815 00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:06,151 We need to talk. 816 00:49:11,031 --> 00:49:13,283 Heard about your old roommate. 817 00:49:13,367 --> 00:49:16,286 Sent down to seg, and an extended sentence. 818 00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:17,580 It's a raw deal. 819 00:49:18,706 --> 00:49:20,082 Yeah. 820 00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:23,836 I got a couple of questions that I need to ask you. 821 00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:25,880 I think you may know the answers to 'em. 822 00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:29,174 About Red and the way that she runs her business. 823 00:49:35,347 --> 00:49:38,350 And I would think that a smart, savvy person like yourself 824 00:49:38,433 --> 00:49:41,478 -would know an opportunity... -Neptune's Produce. 825 00:49:41,562 --> 00:49:43,856 You wanna know how she gets the contraband in? 826 00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:47,192 That's it. Now leave me the fuck alone. 827 00:49:51,446 --> 00:49:53,490 [music playing on headphones] 828 00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:05,294 [woman on PA] Reminder, ladies, to wash your hands, and do not share towels. 829 00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:07,922 Clean ladies are healthy ladies. 830 00:50:13,135 --> 00:50:16,722 -[laughing] I know, right? All right. -[inmate] Later. 831 00:50:27,942 --> 00:50:29,443 What's up, T? 832 00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:34,073 [chuckles] 833 00:50:34,156 --> 00:50:37,117 Yo, we gotta get some hot sauce in this bitch, like you said, man. 834 00:50:37,201 --> 00:50:39,787 Tapatio, Texas Pete... Shit, I don't even care. 835 00:50:40,955 --> 00:50:45,125 Yo, if that shit don't come through soon, you gotta start filibustin' the WAC. 836 00:50:45,209 --> 00:50:47,044 I heard back from the board. 837 00:50:49,630 --> 00:50:52,174 Yo, T, them motherfuckers don't know shit. You know that. 838 00:50:52,257 --> 00:50:53,801 I'm getting out. 839 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:57,512 Wait, you ain't playin'? 840 00:50:57,597 --> 00:50:58,723 No. 841 00:50:58,806 --> 00:51:00,891 [both laughing] 842 00:51:02,142 --> 00:51:03,644 Tays! 843 00:51:03,728 --> 00:51:04,770 [giggling] 844 00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:07,314 [Poussey] Oh, my... 845 00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:17,324 [man on PA] Mail delivery will be delayed 846 00:51:17,407 --> 00:51:20,285 as letters are being screened for anthrax. 847 00:51:20,369 --> 00:51:23,664 So, you have experience in kitchens. 848 00:51:23,748 --> 00:51:25,499 Food preparation? 849 00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:30,045 Some experience. Yes. 850 00:51:30,129 --> 00:51:32,297 Maybe we can get you a job in here. 851 00:51:32,381 --> 00:51:35,592 You know, Angie, our last cook, she's no longer with us. 852 00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:37,011 She got out? 853 00:51:38,303 --> 00:51:40,765 Yeah, something like that. 854 00:51:43,726 --> 00:51:45,227 [Healy] Romano? 855 00:51:49,564 --> 00:51:51,692 -Reznikov. -Red. 856 00:51:51,776 --> 00:51:53,944 Show her the ropes tomorrow. 857 00:51:54,028 --> 00:51:55,612 I look forward to it. 858 00:52:06,707 --> 00:52:09,584 [Healy] Okay. Let me show you around over here. 859 00:52:28,688 --> 00:52:30,022 Got a minute there, cowboy? 860 00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:31,190 Everything okay? 861 00:52:31,273 --> 00:52:35,152 Of course it is. We just gotta have a little talk, you and me. 862 00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:39,073 [knocks on car door] 863 00:52:47,289 --> 00:52:48,665 Go ahead. 864 00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:53,713 [woman speaking indistinctly on PA] 865 00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,844 [coughing] 866 00:53:00,803 --> 00:53:02,179 You sick, too? 867 00:53:04,556 --> 00:53:05,808 [sighing] Oh. 868 00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:08,602 Yeah, it got me a day late. 869 00:53:08,685 --> 00:53:09,895 Sorry. 870 00:53:16,068 --> 00:53:18,738 What, are you a vampire now? Do you need an invitation? 871 00:53:20,948 --> 00:53:23,909 -Not too close, though. I'm contagious. -I know. 872 00:53:29,706 --> 00:53:33,836 I'm plotting my revenge on that redneck fucking Deliverance extra. 873 00:53:33,919 --> 00:53:35,545 If you want in. 874 00:53:35,629 --> 00:53:36,797 Maybe. 875 00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:43,137 You seem depressed. Even for prison. 876 00:53:45,472 --> 00:53:50,560 You know, if you ever wanna talk about it, that's what the counselors are for. 877 00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,437 [laughing] 878 00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:55,357 [coughing] 879 00:53:57,151 --> 00:54:00,529 Personally, I went on sad drugs when I got here, 880 00:54:00,612 --> 00:54:02,239 and they worked for a while, 881 00:54:02,322 --> 00:54:04,784 but now I just cheek 'em and trade 'em for black eyeliner. 882 00:54:04,867 --> 00:54:05,868 [chuckles] 883 00:54:05,951 --> 00:54:07,286 [sniffles] 884 00:54:08,287 --> 00:54:10,580 They made me constipated. 885 00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:14,751 I would rather shit and cry than strain and nap all the time. 886 00:54:17,462 --> 00:54:18,588 What's wrong? 887 00:54:20,007 --> 00:54:21,050 Really. 888 00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:24,303 He wrote an article about me. 889 00:54:24,386 --> 00:54:25,762 -The fiancé? -Mmm-hmm. 890 00:54:27,472 --> 00:54:29,266 "One Sentence, Two Prisoners." 891 00:54:29,349 --> 00:54:31,811 -Oh, it's a terrible title. -I know. 892 00:54:31,894 --> 00:54:35,480 And I'm happy for him... but he got... 893 00:54:35,564 --> 00:54:40,485 He got so much of it so wrong. 894 00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:45,074 I'm not somebody's girlfriend. 895 00:54:48,077 --> 00:54:51,914 I'm not some cool story at a yuppie fucking cocktail party. 896 00:54:51,997 --> 00:54:54,875 "You did a year in the Peace Corps? I did a year in prison." 897 00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:57,377 Fuck, no! 898 00:54:57,461 --> 00:55:01,798 Those things we did, you and me, that wasn't adventure or a romp. 899 00:55:08,763 --> 00:55:10,557 That was my life.