1 00:00:07,573 --> 00:00:15,385 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 2 00:01:18,414 --> 00:01:21,292 That shit is disgusting, man. I don't know how you drink it. 3 00:01:21,376 --> 00:01:23,503 Yum. 4 00:01:23,586 --> 00:01:26,464 If I could tell five-year-old me that one day he'd be able to get drunk 5 00:01:26,491 --> 00:01:27,805 off the liquid equivalent 6 00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:29,783 of Werther's Originals for $5.98 a bottle, 7 00:01:29,842 --> 00:01:32,148 he'd be fucking psyched. 8 00:01:34,472 --> 00:01:36,974 Or, actually, really confused about what drunk means. 9 00:01:37,058 --> 00:01:38,643 Lucky you. 10 00:01:38,726 --> 00:01:41,562 Five-year-old me knew exactly what being drunk meant. 11 00:01:46,651 --> 00:01:49,945 - Want a nibble? - Nah, man. I... I gotta work. 12 00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:51,489 So? 13 00:01:51,572 --> 00:01:53,533 Ah, my manager's up my ass, you know? 14 00:01:53,616 --> 00:01:55,201 He's gonna know I'm high the second he sees me. 15 00:01:55,602 --> 00:01:56,661 You didn't listen to me, man. 16 00:01:56,744 --> 00:01:59,497 I told you, you gotta show up high on your first day, man. 17 00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:01,457 That way they think that's who you are. 18 00:02:01,541 --> 00:02:03,501 But no, you had to go and make a good impression, 19 00:02:03,584 --> 00:02:05,128 get off on the right foot. 20 00:02:05,211 --> 00:02:06,546 Now, you're screwed. 21 00:02:09,090 --> 00:02:11,134 Can't let other people define you, man. 22 00:02:12,093 --> 00:02:13,844 When are you getting the boot off your truck? 23 00:02:15,221 --> 00:02:17,057 After I get my bike out of impound. 24 00:02:19,975 --> 00:02:21,894 Thanks for the ride. 25 00:02:27,608 --> 00:02:28,776 Boom! 26 00:02:34,449 --> 00:02:36,701 Mmm! Hey, um, Joel? 27 00:02:38,119 --> 00:02:39,787 - Me? - Sorry, did I get that wrong? 28 00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:41,039 I thought it was Joel. 29 00:02:41,122 --> 00:02:44,310 I saw it on your mailbox, uh, which is overflowing. 30 00:02:44,684 --> 00:02:47,628 I just think you might wanna take care of that before Piscatella sees. 31 00:02:47,712 --> 00:02:50,965 Keep things orderly and in order! 32 00:02:54,635 --> 00:02:57,472 - Uh, what's your, uh, first name? - Baxter. 33 00:02:57,555 --> 00:03:01,809 Your parents named you Baxter Bayley? 34 00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:03,519 That sounds like a cartoon dog name. 35 00:03:03,603 --> 00:03:06,356 My dad's really into dogs, actually, so... 36 00:03:06,981 --> 00:03:08,065 Uh, it's weird. 37 00:03:08,149 --> 00:03:11,569 - Yeah. - Here's the thing, Baxter Bayley, uh... 38 00:03:11,968 --> 00:03:14,489 I don't really like to pay too much attention to anything around here, 39 00:03:14,572 --> 00:03:17,691 especially if it requires me to do something as a result. 40 00:03:18,283 --> 00:03:20,536 So, uh, if you're gonna point something out to me, 41 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:24,374 it should be something awesome, like cake or pie in the break room. 42 00:03:24,457 --> 00:03:26,708 Yeah. Got it, Joel. 43 00:03:27,127 --> 00:03:29,254 Uh... it's, uh... Luschek. 44 00:03:29,337 --> 00:03:30,387 Sorry. 45 00:03:31,131 --> 00:03:34,800 Look, I just... I really think you need to deal with your letters. 46 00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:41,349 - What the hell? - Told you. 47 00:03:48,397 --> 00:03:51,919 _ 48 00:03:58,834 --> 00:04:00,834 _ 49 00:04:09,502 --> 00:04:11,238 Oh! 50 00:04:11,265 --> 00:04:12,480 _ 51 00:04:12,505 --> 00:04:14,006 "Caputo's dingleberries"? 52 00:04:14,089 --> 00:04:15,216 I gotta go. 53 00:04:16,176 --> 00:04:18,761 Hmm? Okay. 54 00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:21,847 Well, I will let you know if I see cake or pie. 55 00:04:21,931 --> 00:04:24,517 Great. 56 00:04:25,393 --> 00:04:27,145 - Thanks. - Have fun. 57 00:04:29,314 --> 00:04:31,941 Oh, hey, morning, sugar. 58 00:04:32,024 --> 00:04:33,609 Inmate. 59 00:04:33,693 --> 00:04:35,986 Do I smell butterscotch? 60 00:04:36,070 --> 00:04:38,156 Ah. 61 00:04:38,239 --> 00:04:40,200 Do I look like my 92-year-old nana? 62 00:04:40,283 --> 00:04:42,660 Ooh, boy. Somebody's in a mood this morning. 63 00:04:42,743 --> 00:04:44,245 So, what have you got there? 64 00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,997 - Fan mail. - Ah! Oh, wait. 65 00:04:47,081 --> 00:04:48,458 All right, little advice. 66 00:04:48,541 --> 00:04:50,376 You wanna get yourself a signature stamp, 67 00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:51,502 save you hours. 68 00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:53,463 Aren't you full of time-saving tips? 69 00:04:53,546 --> 00:04:56,466 Mmm. So, you got yourself an overzealous pen pal? 70 00:04:57,717 --> 00:05:00,010 Uh... former inmate here. 71 00:05:00,845 --> 00:05:02,680 And I thought I was special. 72 00:05:04,139 --> 00:05:05,344 Wasn't like that. 73 00:05:07,852 --> 00:05:10,396 That must've taken a lot of courage. 74 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,523 Remember, you have a community that serves you. 75 00:05:14,108 --> 00:05:16,067 Thank you for your honesty today. 76 00:05:18,779 --> 00:05:20,906 Now, before I distribute today's chips, 77 00:05:20,990 --> 00:05:23,117 join me in the Serenity Prayer. 78 00:05:24,076 --> 00:05:29,249 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 79 00:05:29,332 --> 00:05:32,502 the courage to change the things I can, 80 00:05:32,585 --> 00:05:35,755 and the wisdom to know the difference. 81 00:05:35,838 --> 00:05:36,881 Okay. 82 00:05:37,798 --> 00:05:41,135 So it looks like I only have one chip to celebrate today, 83 00:05:41,218 --> 00:05:42,507 and it's a goody. 84 00:05:42,970 --> 00:05:44,389 Nichols. 85 00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,807 Care to come up here? 86 00:05:50,936 --> 00:05:53,856 - Three years. Well done. - Thank you. 87 00:05:57,610 --> 00:06:00,863 Hey! Well, shit, man, 88 00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:03,408 if I knew you guys were gonna clap, I would've brought my tap shoes. 89 00:06:04,992 --> 00:06:05,993 Uh, you know, to be honest, 90 00:06:06,076 --> 00:06:07,828 I never really believed in this bullshit before, you know? 91 00:06:07,912 --> 00:06:09,872 I'd go to rehab and no one told me 92 00:06:09,955 --> 00:06:11,541 that you guys give it away for free in here. 93 00:06:11,624 --> 00:06:14,001 I should've just gotten locked up, like, a decade ago, 94 00:06:14,084 --> 00:06:15,961 saved my mom a suitcase of cash. 95 00:06:17,672 --> 00:06:19,173 Although, I do miss the cigarettes. 96 00:06:19,256 --> 00:06:20,675 Aw. 97 00:06:20,758 --> 00:06:23,761 - Really miss the cigarettes. - Damn. 98 00:06:23,844 --> 00:06:28,516 Hey... and like, how the fuck do you have AA with no smokes? 99 00:06:28,599 --> 00:06:30,017 It's nuts. 100 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,310 And it's criminal. You know, so to speak. 101 00:06:32,923 --> 00:06:34,188 Anyway... 102 00:06:37,817 --> 00:06:41,278 This valueless piece of crappy plastic really means a lot to me. 103 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:43,299 Uh... 104 00:06:44,073 --> 00:06:46,992 symbolism, et cetera. 105 00:06:49,036 --> 00:06:51,456 Well, screw it, you know, I'm fucking proud of myself, so... 106 00:06:54,124 --> 00:06:57,337 All right, everyone. So, I'll see you tomorrow. 107 00:06:57,420 --> 00:06:58,671 Keep coming back. 108 00:06:58,754 --> 00:07:02,007 It works if you work it. 109 00:07:02,091 --> 00:07:03,217 Okay. 110 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,565 - You fucking kidding me? - Contraband. 111 00:07:20,776 --> 00:07:22,277 Shit. 112 00:07:24,405 --> 00:07:25,698 Morning, sister. 113 00:07:28,493 --> 00:07:31,704 Sorry, I, uh... I have a thing... 114 00:07:33,038 --> 00:07:34,081 over here. 115 00:07:53,351 --> 00:07:55,269 I would've asked, but since we're sneaking 116 00:07:55,353 --> 00:07:57,187 into each other's bunks in the middle of the night, 117 00:07:57,271 --> 00:07:59,732 I thought it was... safe to assume. 118 00:08:00,608 --> 00:08:01,983 I was sleepwalking. 119 00:08:02,717 --> 00:08:05,278 Climbing... whispering. 120 00:08:06,321 --> 00:08:09,199 - What's going on with you? - Nothing. I'm great. 121 00:08:09,566 --> 00:08:12,014 I'm just sitting here... 122 00:08:13,203 --> 00:08:15,289 enjoying the prison breeze. 123 00:08:15,670 --> 00:08:17,166 I'm worried about you. 124 00:08:18,208 --> 00:08:19,919 The other night was really out of character. 125 00:08:20,002 --> 00:08:22,505 Maybe it's entirely in character, but you wouldn't know 126 00:08:22,588 --> 00:08:23,673 because we haven't talked in so long. 127 00:08:23,756 --> 00:08:24,799 Fine. 128 00:08:25,758 --> 00:08:26,967 I will leave you alone. 129 00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:32,014 But I'm here if you ever wanna drop the sarcasm and talk to me. 130 00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:33,474 Oh, my God. 131 00:08:33,558 --> 00:08:34,559 How generous! 132 00:08:35,726 --> 00:08:38,563 Now you have time for me? Now you wanna talk? 133 00:08:39,229 --> 00:08:41,982 Where were you before? When I needed you? 134 00:08:43,025 --> 00:08:45,110 I begged you to listen to me, 135 00:08:45,194 --> 00:08:47,112 and you were too busy fucking that tattooed kangaroo 136 00:08:47,196 --> 00:08:48,531 and calling me paranoid. 137 00:08:48,614 --> 00:08:52,743 I spent months thinking that I was crazy because of you! 138 00:08:52,827 --> 00:08:54,427 And you know what? I was right. 139 00:08:54,824 --> 00:08:56,997 Right? What do you mean, you were right? 140 00:08:58,708 --> 00:09:01,586 Nothing. Never mind. I have to go. 141 00:09:06,131 --> 00:09:10,470 Most likely to be an undercover baller goes to... 142 00:09:11,721 --> 00:09:13,263 Maritza. 143 00:09:16,684 --> 00:09:19,812 I have dreamt about this moment my whole life. 144 00:09:19,895 --> 00:09:21,647 No, but for real, though, 145 00:09:21,731 --> 00:09:23,691 that was, like, some James Bond-level shit. 146 00:09:23,774 --> 00:09:26,694 - Ooh! - Panty Galore. Hi. 147 00:09:28,946 --> 00:09:30,531 No, but seriously, when do we get paid? 148 00:09:30,615 --> 00:09:32,867 Alonso's gonna let me know when all the inventory's sold. 149 00:09:32,950 --> 00:09:35,160 Yo, this is a real shame. 150 00:09:35,244 --> 00:09:37,037 - Hmm? - We got a group here, right? 151 00:09:37,121 --> 00:09:38,831 We got a system. So... 152 00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:40,958 Oh, why we ain't going after the hard stuff? 153 00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:43,794 That's true. How much we ever gonna make off panties? 154 00:09:43,878 --> 00:09:45,880 Yo, we gotta be patient, all right? 155 00:09:45,963 --> 00:09:49,091 Our crew ain't about nothing illegal, you hear me? 156 00:09:49,174 --> 00:09:50,425 - This is the game in here right now. - Why? 157 00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:52,637 So we're gonna play the game and we're gonna win. 158 00:09:54,096 --> 00:09:56,306 On behalf of the Litchfield Safety Task Force, 159 00:09:56,390 --> 00:09:57,850 you need to halt your gathering. 160 00:09:57,933 --> 00:09:59,560 What the fuck you saying? 161 00:09:59,644 --> 00:10:00,585 Congress... 162 00:10:01,103 --> 00:10:02,647 Shit. No, that's not it. 163 00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:04,607 Um, conga... 164 00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:07,735 Ca... Conga. Conga. This shit? 165 00:10:08,486 --> 00:10:10,613 "Congregating." It's "congregating." 166 00:10:10,696 --> 00:10:13,658 Yeah. Congregating... 167 00:10:13,741 --> 00:10:17,369 ... in a group of four or more is no longer allowed. 168 00:10:17,452 --> 00:10:18,579 What? 169 00:10:18,663 --> 00:10:22,082 - Man, get the fuck outta here. Stupid. - So stupid. 170 00:10:22,166 --> 00:10:23,417 Look, you dirt taco. 171 00:10:23,501 --> 00:10:24,585 Whoa! 172 00:10:24,669 --> 00:10:25,716 You move along 173 00:10:25,741 --> 00:10:27,571 or I'll call a CO over here and get y'all some shots. 174 00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:28,673 What'd you just call her? 175 00:10:28,756 --> 00:10:31,717 - What's the problem? - They're gathering, sir. 176 00:10:31,801 --> 00:10:34,261 Oh, gathering, huh? 177 00:10:34,344 --> 00:10:35,971 Well, I guess that's some shots. 178 00:10:36,055 --> 00:10:38,057 - What? - Oh! Are you serious, man? 179 00:10:38,140 --> 00:10:39,767 - Yeah. - Are you fucking kidding me? 180 00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:40,976 Really? 181 00:10:45,314 --> 00:10:46,849 It's like he's in my head. 182 00:10:47,441 --> 00:10:50,194 - It's like he's talking right to me. - That's good. 183 00:10:54,865 --> 00:10:56,241 Can I pitch you a crazy idea? 184 00:10:56,951 --> 00:10:59,036 You wanna make me breakfast. 185 00:10:59,119 --> 00:11:00,329 That is very sweet. 186 00:11:00,412 --> 00:11:02,785 Stick with me for just a second. 187 00:11:03,123 --> 00:11:05,585 We have all these issues because of the overcrowding, right? 188 00:11:05,668 --> 00:11:08,212 We have lack of space, unemployment, bad behavior, 189 00:11:08,295 --> 00:11:11,381 but you know what I think the biggest problem we have is? 190 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:12,592 My hunger? 191 00:11:12,675 --> 00:11:13,926 Boredom. 192 00:11:14,009 --> 00:11:15,344 The inmates are restless. 193 00:11:15,427 --> 00:11:17,262 They have nothing to fill up their time, so they're... 194 00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:18,848 they're picking fights and they're acting out, 195 00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:20,099 and you can't really blame 'em, 196 00:11:20,182 --> 00:11:22,267 and we don't have the money to give them jobs, 197 00:11:22,351 --> 00:11:24,269 but we can give 'em something else. 198 00:11:24,353 --> 00:11:26,563 Something that gives them a reason to... 199 00:11:26,647 --> 00:11:28,232 to get dressed in the morning. 200 00:11:29,233 --> 00:11:31,652 That makes them more productive members of society, 201 00:11:31,736 --> 00:11:32,987 in and out of prison. 202 00:11:36,406 --> 00:11:38,367 We can give 'em classes. 203 00:11:40,661 --> 00:11:41,787 That sounds expensive. 204 00:11:42,477 --> 00:11:43,537 But it wouldn't have to be. 205 00:11:43,623 --> 00:11:45,457 MCC would never let one of those 206 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:47,459 fruity liberal arts schools inside our walls. 207 00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:48,669 I know that. That's why I was thinking 208 00:11:48,753 --> 00:11:50,420 we can train the guards to lead the classes. 209 00:11:50,504 --> 00:11:51,881 We don't have to teach calculus, 210 00:11:51,964 --> 00:11:55,134 just some more concrete life skills. 211 00:11:55,801 --> 00:11:57,469 We can call them... 212 00:11:57,552 --> 00:11:58,846 enrichment classes. 213 00:11:59,984 --> 00:12:02,724 This can make a real difference in some of these women's lives. 214 00:12:03,104 --> 00:12:04,517 And maybe ours, too. 215 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,936 If I can get this off the ground... 216 00:12:07,604 --> 00:12:10,399 it has the potential to be career-defining. 217 00:12:11,676 --> 00:12:12,358 Right? 218 00:12:13,736 --> 00:12:14,779 I can help. 219 00:12:15,612 --> 00:12:16,864 - Yeah? - Yeah. 220 00:12:16,947 --> 00:12:18,783 I know how to pitch things to MCC. 221 00:12:18,866 --> 00:12:21,535 It's all about using the right language with them, 222 00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:22,912 putting things in their terms. 223 00:12:22,995 --> 00:12:24,163 When I'm in my flow, they don't even realize 224 00:12:24,246 --> 00:12:25,289 what they're saying yes to. 225 00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:26,707 You think that's the right approach? 226 00:12:26,791 --> 00:12:28,959 Absolutely. You let me handle them. 227 00:12:29,043 --> 00:12:32,587 You focus on your legacy. Go, team. 228 00:12:32,672 --> 00:12:34,609 Go, team! 229 00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:36,211 And go omelet, maybe? 230 00:12:36,281 --> 00:12:37,324 Like, a scramble? 231 00:12:37,455 --> 00:12:39,011 - Scramble? You're hungry? - Love a scramble. 232 00:12:39,094 --> 00:12:40,637 - I'm hungry. I'm starving. - You need to eat. 233 00:12:40,721 --> 00:12:42,472 This is good, Joe. This is so good. 234 00:12:42,556 --> 00:12:45,184 - I'm gonna make you an omelet. - Great. Go, team! 235 00:12:45,893 --> 00:12:48,556 This week we seen two sets of titties on the walls, 236 00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:50,690 which is less than four the week before, 237 00:12:50,773 --> 00:12:52,983 and only one pussy. 238 00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:55,235 Uh, but to be honest, it wasn't really drawed that well, 239 00:12:55,319 --> 00:12:57,863 so I don't think anybody knew it was supposed to be a pussy, anyway. 240 00:12:57,947 --> 00:13:00,490 Yeah, chalking that up as a win all around. 241 00:13:00,574 --> 00:13:02,462 Been breaking up groups of border niggers 242 00:13:02,546 --> 00:13:03,493 and plain niggers, too. 243 00:13:03,577 --> 00:13:07,081 Spooking spooks. Crunching nachos. Ain't nothing. 244 00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:12,252 This has been moderately to minimally helpful. 245 00:13:12,336 --> 00:13:13,462 Thank you, inmates. 246 00:13:13,545 --> 00:13:14,797 Wait, we got more. 247 00:13:15,339 --> 00:13:17,883 Some of us girls have also been noticing panties. 248 00:13:18,968 --> 00:13:22,930 Why don't you just, uh, leave the strip-searching up to us? 249 00:13:23,013 --> 00:13:25,933 Not the regular panties. The fancy ones from the sewing job. 250 00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:27,309 Slutty panties. 251 00:13:27,392 --> 00:13:28,643 Well, I think they're pretty. 252 00:13:28,728 --> 00:13:30,876 Shouldn't we be focusing on gang activity? 253 00:13:31,454 --> 00:13:34,232 Girls wearing panties sounds pretty harmless to me. 254 00:13:34,316 --> 00:13:35,525 For perverts. 255 00:13:35,609 --> 00:13:39,113 - Cash money. Crotch sniffing. - Yeah. 256 00:13:39,196 --> 00:13:41,347 It's a business. We heard. 257 00:13:41,824 --> 00:13:45,244 You're telling me that somebody's making money off of dirty panties? 258 00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:49,836 Yeah, they're selling for, like, $700 to Chinamen in China. 259 00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:51,917 That's what we heard. 260 00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:53,252 Oh, we heard that. Yeah. 261 00:13:54,253 --> 00:13:55,963 Thank you for your intel. 262 00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:57,714 Keep it steady. 263 00:14:00,926 --> 00:14:02,427 All right, I got it. 264 00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:07,182 Yeah, see, if you wanted to be the United States, 265 00:14:07,266 --> 00:14:09,351 you should've been the women, because they're good at soccer. 266 00:14:09,434 --> 00:14:11,145 Whereas the men, not so much. 267 00:14:11,228 --> 00:14:13,355 I'm not gonna be some chick team, dude. 268 00:14:13,438 --> 00:14:16,316 - Oh, damn it! - Yeah, that's offsides. 269 00:14:18,318 --> 00:14:21,155 I can't concentrate with all the noise from the idiots out there. 270 00:14:21,238 --> 00:14:22,740 You want a soda? 271 00:14:22,823 --> 00:14:25,492 - Anything harder? - Aren't you on the clock? 272 00:14:25,575 --> 00:14:27,327 "Aren't you on the clock?" 273 00:14:29,371 --> 00:14:31,916 Maybe I should just call the cable company instead. 274 00:14:31,999 --> 00:14:33,583 If you wanna pay for it, sure. 275 00:14:34,501 --> 00:14:38,297 Teaching them to install illegal cable doesn't exactly sound like rehabilitation. 276 00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,634 Hey, it's a practical skill in the real world, my friend. 277 00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:44,469 I'm bleeding. 278 00:14:44,553 --> 00:14:45,971 - What the fuck did you do? - Jesus. 279 00:14:46,055 --> 00:14:49,433 I cut myself with that shitty, rusty wire cutter you gave us. 280 00:14:49,516 --> 00:14:51,560 - Come on, run. - What? No, I need to go to medical! 281 00:14:51,643 --> 00:14:53,312 At halftime, just... 282 00:14:53,395 --> 00:14:55,105 wrap a sock around it or something. 283 00:14:55,189 --> 00:14:56,648 One more scar's not gonna change your world. 284 00:14:56,731 --> 00:14:59,526 Fucking asshole. 285 00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:02,487 Oh, goal! Take that, fucker! 286 00:15:02,571 --> 00:15:04,031 I wasn't even playing, man. 287 00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:05,950 You're such a piece of shit. 288 00:15:06,033 --> 00:15:07,242 What did you say, inmate? 289 00:15:08,118 --> 00:15:10,579 I said, you're a piece of shit! 290 00:15:10,662 --> 00:15:13,415 - You wanna spend some time in the SHU? - Hey, man, she needs to go to medical. 291 00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:14,628 Are you defending her? 292 00:15:14,653 --> 00:15:16,194 If she's telling you she needs something, 293 00:15:16,254 --> 00:15:17,169 you need to listen to her. 294 00:15:17,252 --> 00:15:19,046 They're people, for Christ's sake. 295 00:15:19,129 --> 00:15:21,131 It's our job to take care of these women. 296 00:15:21,215 --> 00:15:24,509 Do your fucking job! You're not listening to her. 297 00:15:25,164 --> 00:15:26,248 Are you joking? 298 00:15:28,305 --> 00:15:29,514 Get out of my house. 299 00:15:30,515 --> 00:15:32,726 No? Not joking? 300 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,157 It's been a real buzzkill. 301 00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:38,398 Let's go, tetanus. 302 00:15:39,608 --> 00:15:41,112 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 303 00:15:41,568 --> 00:15:43,112 What? 304 00:15:43,195 --> 00:15:44,404 Can you give us a ride? 305 00:16:02,172 --> 00:16:04,716 Hey, get a move on, inmate. 306 00:16:20,357 --> 00:16:21,631 What's your business? 307 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,235 Well, I figured I'd bust out of here 308 00:16:23,318 --> 00:16:26,655 and sell generic disinfectant and cleaning rags on the street for pennies. 309 00:16:28,829 --> 00:16:30,367 Man, come on. It's me. 310 00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:31,618 Answer the question. 311 00:16:32,494 --> 00:16:34,704 I am a cleaning porter, 312 00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:37,041 as my giant accomplice here might indicate. 313 00:16:40,961 --> 00:16:42,922 Take a left down hallway A, 314 00:16:43,005 --> 00:16:45,257 a right down hallway 21... 315 00:16:46,258 --> 00:16:47,885 and then report to the SHU gate. 316 00:16:49,386 --> 00:16:50,554 Oh, hey, let me ask you a question. 317 00:16:50,637 --> 00:16:52,790 Uh, at what point do I get to meet the wizard? 318 00:16:58,103 --> 00:16:59,688 Oh, thank you. 319 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,523 See ya. 320 00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,943 Michigan, Lansing. 321 00:17:05,277 --> 00:17:07,362 Minnesota, Jackson. 322 00:17:08,572 --> 00:17:11,575 Missouri, Jefferson City. 323 00:17:11,658 --> 00:17:14,619 Mississippi. You forgot Mississippi. 324 00:17:15,955 --> 00:17:17,542 Mississippi. 325 00:17:18,082 --> 00:17:19,249 God damn. 326 00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:21,919 I always do that. 327 00:17:27,007 --> 00:17:28,758 Shut that motherfucker! 328 00:17:30,052 --> 00:17:32,762 What, you a Peeping Tom now? 329 00:17:38,477 --> 00:17:39,811 Hi, Burset. 330 00:17:40,729 --> 00:17:41,939 Be honest with me. 331 00:17:42,731 --> 00:17:44,691 Ever seen me look this ravishing? 332 00:17:44,774 --> 00:17:46,401 Uh... 333 00:17:46,485 --> 00:17:50,990 if we're using "ravishing" as a synonym for "horrendous," never. 334 00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:52,992 Nichols, right? 335 00:17:55,101 --> 00:17:56,452 You're on this hallway a lot? 336 00:17:56,971 --> 00:17:58,620 Maybe once a week. 337 00:17:59,248 --> 00:18:01,708 And I never really know where they're gonna assign me. 338 00:18:01,791 --> 00:18:02,792 Listen. 339 00:18:03,961 --> 00:18:05,420 Can you get me a blanket? 340 00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:07,844 Bring it in next time you come through? 341 00:18:08,423 --> 00:18:11,635 I'd love to help you, I just, uh... 342 00:18:11,718 --> 00:18:13,553 I'm really trying to keep on the straight and narrow. 343 00:18:13,637 --> 00:18:16,223 Please. I'm not sleeping. 344 00:18:17,141 --> 00:18:19,601 I'm gonna lose my mind if I don't get some rest. 345 00:18:19,684 --> 00:18:22,980 And we both know what happens if you go insane in this place, right? 346 00:18:23,063 --> 00:18:26,316 Hey, uh, I feel you. I really do. 347 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,777 But think about it, I don't even know where to find a spare. 348 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:31,488 Even if I did, they'd just spot it in a second. 349 00:18:31,571 --> 00:18:33,407 You'd be fucked. I'd be fucked. 350 00:18:36,076 --> 00:18:37,100 I get it. 351 00:18:37,995 --> 00:18:39,246 Sorry I asked. 352 00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,375 Hold on. 353 00:18:49,589 --> 00:18:50,620 Here. 354 00:18:53,343 --> 00:18:55,220 At least that'll keep your mind occupied. 355 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:58,973 All right, so just go slowly, all right? 356 00:18:59,058 --> 00:19:02,352 Read every word, even the ads. 357 00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:06,690 Reciting the capitals helps me if that doesn't work. 358 00:19:12,362 --> 00:19:15,552 - I gotta go. I gotta go. Okay. - What's it like outside today? 359 00:19:15,635 --> 00:19:17,159 Is it raining? 360 00:19:20,329 --> 00:19:21,413 Go. 361 00:19:21,496 --> 00:19:22,997 Whoa, Snow White and her high hoes. 362 00:19:23,082 --> 00:19:24,166 Why don't you get in the back of the line? 363 00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:25,542 - Next. - What's going on? 364 00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,294 Oh, it's a stop-and-frisk. 365 00:19:27,377 --> 00:19:29,796 Over here. Next. 366 00:19:31,798 --> 00:19:33,050 Over here. 367 00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:34,301 Thank you. 368 00:19:34,384 --> 00:19:35,385 - Next. - Are you wearing? 369 00:19:35,469 --> 00:19:36,470 Mmm-hmm. 370 00:19:36,553 --> 00:19:38,138 - Here. - Fuck. 371 00:19:38,222 --> 00:19:39,473 Next. 372 00:19:41,015 --> 00:19:42,309 Over here, please. 373 00:19:43,352 --> 00:19:45,354 Oh, yeah, hustle. 374 00:19:45,437 --> 00:19:46,730 Next. 375 00:19:51,068 --> 00:19:52,152 Right over here. 376 00:19:55,864 --> 00:19:56,990 Go. 377 00:19:58,617 --> 00:19:59,743 Next. 378 00:20:02,621 --> 00:20:03,747 Go. 379 00:20:05,207 --> 00:20:06,708 You. 380 00:20:06,791 --> 00:20:07,876 No. 381 00:20:08,877 --> 00:20:10,003 You. 382 00:20:11,045 --> 00:20:12,422 You look interesting. 383 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,301 - Where are you from, inmate? - Hawaii. 384 00:20:16,385 --> 00:20:17,677 Ooh. 385 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,888 Well, over here. 386 00:20:22,182 --> 00:20:23,267 Aloha. 387 00:20:24,976 --> 00:20:28,021 - Next. - Well, hello there, CO, sir. 388 00:20:28,105 --> 00:20:29,398 How are you today? 389 00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:31,912 Go. 390 00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,278 Come on. 391 00:20:38,532 --> 00:20:39,533 And next. 392 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,368 Next. 393 00:20:44,163 --> 00:20:45,164 Shit. 394 00:20:54,631 --> 00:20:55,632 Next. 395 00:20:55,715 --> 00:20:56,716 Look at this. 396 00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:00,762 Oh, shit. That's Betty Cracker herself. 397 00:21:00,845 --> 00:21:03,014 I was in that grass this morning. 398 00:21:03,097 --> 00:21:04,183 That exact grass. 399 00:21:04,266 --> 00:21:07,936 Damn. We could've been in this pic. Been all prison famous. 400 00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:10,230 You know what's better than being famous? 401 00:21:10,314 --> 00:21:13,066 Uh... pizza, daisies, smelly markers, 402 00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:15,694 any animal, a really good dream, a warm bath, 403 00:21:15,777 --> 00:21:17,362 - picking a booger, a dry one... - Ugh! 404 00:21:17,446 --> 00:21:20,031 ... pizza, graham crackers and icing sandwiches, 405 00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:22,075 the feeling you get when you make a really good joke 406 00:21:22,159 --> 00:21:25,579 and someone laughs, in a nice way, not a mean way, and they... 407 00:21:25,662 --> 00:21:27,664 - Money! - Money? 408 00:21:27,747 --> 00:21:30,250 Cash money, y'all. 409 00:21:30,334 --> 00:21:32,836 Yo, do you know how much these paparazzi people make 410 00:21:32,919 --> 00:21:35,172 off of one of these celebrity pictures? 411 00:21:35,255 --> 00:21:37,424 If they be flying these robocops over Litchfield 412 00:21:37,507 --> 00:21:40,635 just to get this janky-ass picture... 413 00:21:40,719 --> 00:21:44,848 imagine how much a close-up could be. 414 00:21:44,931 --> 00:21:46,683 That's what those drones are doing? 415 00:21:47,309 --> 00:21:49,018 The aliens aren't coming? 416 00:21:49,102 --> 00:21:50,479 Yo! 417 00:21:50,562 --> 00:21:52,222 Focus! 418 00:21:52,689 --> 00:21:54,524 - My bad. My bad. - Mmm-hmm. 419 00:21:54,608 --> 00:21:56,193 I got the Internet. 420 00:21:57,986 --> 00:22:00,280 - Where? - You got on Caputo's computer. 421 00:22:00,364 --> 00:22:03,074 Yo! That's a game changer! 422 00:22:03,157 --> 00:22:05,619 I know! I know, I know, I know! Okay, okay, okay. 423 00:22:05,702 --> 00:22:08,830 So, all we got to do now is find ourselves a cell phone, 424 00:22:08,913 --> 00:22:11,250 and we got ourselves a retirement plan. 425 00:22:11,333 --> 00:22:13,252 Yo... 426 00:22:13,335 --> 00:22:19,258 I'm gonna retire in that hotel with the indoor water park in Ohio. 427 00:22:19,341 --> 00:22:21,092 Lord, give me strength. 428 00:22:21,175 --> 00:22:22,677 You got kids? 429 00:22:22,761 --> 00:22:23,704 No. 430 00:22:24,429 --> 00:22:25,680 Wasn't in the cards. 431 00:22:26,598 --> 00:22:27,932 Didn't have the genetics. 432 00:22:28,016 --> 00:22:29,715 Well, that don't stop most people. 433 00:22:29,798 --> 00:22:34,063 Well, there was some family medical history 434 00:22:34,147 --> 00:22:35,440 I didn't wanna pass on. 435 00:22:36,733 --> 00:22:37,942 You? 436 00:22:38,026 --> 00:22:40,904 Well, the... Okay, the me that I used to be wanted 'em... 437 00:22:40,987 --> 00:22:43,767 but considering my present situation... 438 00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:47,243 it's probably good that I didn't make any more little Lolly-pops. 439 00:22:47,911 --> 00:22:49,538 Hey, have you ever seen The Twilight Zone? 440 00:22:49,621 --> 00:22:52,499 Up here every day. 441 00:22:52,582 --> 00:22:54,317 You know, my mother loved it. 442 00:22:54,876 --> 00:22:56,002 And there was an episode 443 00:22:56,085 --> 00:22:59,088 where this couple wakes up in a strange house. 444 00:22:59,172 --> 00:23:01,257 So they go downstairs, and they're looking for other people. 445 00:23:01,341 --> 00:23:02,842 They can't find any other people. 446 00:23:02,926 --> 00:23:05,011 They try to make a call, and all the phones are fake. 447 00:23:05,094 --> 00:23:06,220 - No! - Yes. 448 00:23:07,972 --> 00:23:10,183 And outside, there are fake squirrels, 449 00:23:10,266 --> 00:23:14,521 stuffed... posed on fake trees. 450 00:23:15,314 --> 00:23:17,702 So, at the end... 451 00:23:18,525 --> 00:23:22,766 this really huge hand reaches down from the sky 452 00:23:23,112 --> 00:23:24,469 and picks them up. 453 00:23:25,699 --> 00:23:27,365 And it's a young girl... 454 00:23:28,827 --> 00:23:29,994 but she's a giant... 455 00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:33,915 and the couple are stuck in her play world, 456 00:23:33,998 --> 00:23:36,125 so she can make them do whatever she wants. 457 00:23:37,168 --> 00:23:38,333 Whoa. 458 00:23:38,795 --> 00:23:40,004 My mother... 459 00:23:41,172 --> 00:23:43,550 was... like you. 460 00:23:45,510 --> 00:23:46,845 Similar issues. 461 00:23:48,179 --> 00:23:52,225 And she would always say... that that's how it felt, 462 00:23:52,308 --> 00:23:55,885 like she was locked... in a fake world... 463 00:23:56,438 --> 00:23:58,106 that no one else was part of... 464 00:23:59,273 --> 00:24:01,818 even though it looked exactly the same. 465 00:24:04,529 --> 00:24:06,698 Yeah, I got a lot of prisons in my life, sir. 466 00:24:08,658 --> 00:24:10,159 I got the literal one, duh. 467 00:24:11,953 --> 00:24:16,416 I got the one where I'm on my meds and I can't feel anything. 468 00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:18,418 That is not so great. 469 00:24:18,502 --> 00:24:20,003 Then, I have the worst one... 470 00:24:20,463 --> 00:24:23,339 the prison where I'm usually living in, 471 00:24:23,423 --> 00:24:24,924 and there's all these people, right, 472 00:24:25,008 --> 00:24:26,426 and they're talkin' and talkin' and talkin'. 473 00:24:26,510 --> 00:24:28,219 And they cannot agree on what is the truth. 474 00:24:28,302 --> 00:24:29,596 That's like that episode. 475 00:24:29,679 --> 00:24:30,972 That's exactly right. 476 00:24:33,224 --> 00:24:34,393 How's your mom? 477 00:24:35,018 --> 00:24:36,227 She's fine. 478 00:24:37,687 --> 00:24:38,980 I'm glad. 479 00:24:39,063 --> 00:24:40,189 Thank you. 480 00:24:46,405 --> 00:24:48,632 I need the dead man's keys. 481 00:24:48,725 --> 00:24:51,325 Warm a girl up a little, would ya? 482 00:24:52,243 --> 00:24:55,204 I would very much like to return your witty banter, 483 00:24:55,288 --> 00:24:58,082 but I am too exhausted to be clever. 484 00:24:58,166 --> 00:24:59,167 The keys. 485 00:24:59,250 --> 00:25:00,334 Now. 486 00:25:08,217 --> 00:25:09,260 Are you all right? 487 00:25:09,343 --> 00:25:13,097 I haven't had a decent night's sleep in weeks. 488 00:25:17,185 --> 00:25:19,938 Hoping to escape to the Motel 6 down the street? 489 00:25:20,021 --> 00:25:24,830 A more practical escape than that, my friend. 490 00:25:24,913 --> 00:25:26,778 How the fuck are you not freaking out right now? 491 00:25:26,861 --> 00:25:28,404 - About the panty raid? - Yes. 492 00:25:28,947 --> 00:25:31,491 - You saw that stop-and-frisk today. - Mmm-hmm. 493 00:25:31,575 --> 00:25:33,446 They're not even looking in our direction, 494 00:25:33,471 --> 00:25:35,102 and they're never going to. 495 00:25:35,620 --> 00:25:36,666 We're good. 496 00:25:37,121 --> 00:25:40,412 I'm playing those guards like a flute. Like a group of flutes, many flutes. 497 00:25:41,276 --> 00:25:42,253 I'm the flautist. 498 00:25:42,336 --> 00:25:44,212 Okay, I get it. You play a mean flute. 499 00:25:44,295 --> 00:25:47,841 But tell me, what's gonna happen when they stop one of the brown girls... 500 00:25:47,924 --> 00:25:49,258 who's wearing panties? 501 00:25:49,843 --> 00:25:51,404 You think she's gonna give up Maria? 502 00:25:51,845 --> 00:25:53,555 Fuck, no. She's gonna point right at you, 503 00:25:53,638 --> 00:25:56,558 because... well, it's the truth, so she won't be lying. 504 00:25:56,641 --> 00:25:59,340 And also, everyone hates you. 505 00:25:59,423 --> 00:26:01,395 If they are coming for me, I will be here. 506 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,523 That is precisely my point. 507 00:26:03,607 --> 00:26:06,735 You're just sitting, waiting. Chapman, make a move. Be a shark. 508 00:26:06,818 --> 00:26:09,654 I am not tearing down everything that I have built. 509 00:26:09,738 --> 00:26:12,406 This business is important to me. It gives me purpose. 510 00:26:12,491 --> 00:26:16,202 Oh... honey bear. 511 00:26:16,285 --> 00:26:19,330 See... now we come to the point in our journey 512 00:26:19,413 --> 00:26:22,416 where it's time for you to think about someone other than yourself. 513 00:26:23,126 --> 00:26:25,253 You brought people into this. 514 00:26:26,796 --> 00:26:28,317 You're responsible for us. 515 00:26:28,965 --> 00:26:30,424 If you wanna wear the crown, you gotta be willing 516 00:26:30,509 --> 00:26:31,551 to fall on your sword. 517 00:26:31,635 --> 00:26:35,179 Everything's gonna be okay. I'm not worried. 518 00:26:35,722 --> 00:26:39,183 Someone is going to go down for this, Chapman... 519 00:26:40,268 --> 00:26:41,895 and for my sake... 520 00:26:41,978 --> 00:26:43,437 I hope it isn't you. 521 00:26:46,525 --> 00:26:48,943 When you say that everybody hates me, 522 00:26:49,027 --> 00:26:50,945 you're being a little hyperbolic, right? 523 00:26:53,197 --> 00:26:54,908 I'm afraid we're gonna have to wrap it up, ladies. 524 00:26:54,991 --> 00:26:56,367 - Aw! - Have a good day, 525 00:26:56,450 --> 00:26:58,662 and remember our theme. 526 00:26:58,745 --> 00:27:00,705 Use what you've got! 527 00:27:00,789 --> 00:27:02,749 Thank you. 528 00:27:05,459 --> 00:27:07,253 Oh, good, good. 529 00:27:09,213 --> 00:27:11,591 - Yes. Yes. - All right. See you later. Thank you. 530 00:27:14,093 --> 00:27:15,219 Oh, Lord. 531 00:27:15,303 --> 00:27:18,181 Are you gonna keep dancing over there like a little girl who has to pee 532 00:27:18,264 --> 00:27:20,183 or are you gonna come over here and tell me what's wrong? 533 00:27:23,352 --> 00:27:24,478 Look. 534 00:27:25,146 --> 00:27:28,733 - What's this? - That is freshly whipped butter. 535 00:27:28,817 --> 00:27:30,985 And Bill puts this Maldon salt 536 00:27:31,069 --> 00:27:33,279 in my care package. This is my heroin. 537 00:27:33,362 --> 00:27:36,157 Now, I'm not supposed to tell anybody, so keep quiet about it. 538 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,076 There we go. Cheers. 539 00:27:40,787 --> 00:27:41,955 Mmm! 540 00:27:42,038 --> 00:27:43,103 Holy fuck. 541 00:27:44,143 --> 00:27:44,940 That's good. 542 00:27:45,023 --> 00:27:46,732 Better than a good shit in the morning. 543 00:27:47,103 --> 00:27:48,086 That's my favorite thing. 544 00:27:48,169 --> 00:27:50,839 Oh, sweetie, that's everybody's favorite thing. 545 00:27:50,922 --> 00:27:52,506 Don't go thinking that makes you original. 546 00:27:53,174 --> 00:27:55,343 Now, what are you moping about around here? 547 00:27:55,426 --> 00:27:57,345 Did your girlfriend write to you again? 548 00:27:57,428 --> 00:27:59,681 Well, she's not my girlfriend, first of all... 549 00:27:59,764 --> 00:28:00,807 Right. 550 00:28:01,766 --> 00:28:02,809 I don't know, it's weird. 551 00:28:02,892 --> 00:28:05,144 I, like, care or something. 552 00:28:05,228 --> 00:28:07,606 - Oh. - 'Cause normally, I do not give a shit. 553 00:28:07,689 --> 00:28:09,733 - Mmm-hmm. - About anything... 554 00:28:10,817 --> 00:28:12,110 and especially this. 555 00:28:13,444 --> 00:28:15,655 Maybe the chocolate I had was bad. 556 00:28:16,239 --> 00:28:19,367 It doesn't make sense, because... she fucked up. 557 00:28:20,785 --> 00:28:23,329 Man, did she fuck up. But... 558 00:28:24,473 --> 00:28:26,530 I knew it was bad for her 559 00:28:26,613 --> 00:28:29,502 and I got involved anyway, and now she's worse off than before. 560 00:28:31,295 --> 00:28:33,214 Really gotta suck ass down there. 561 00:28:35,466 --> 00:28:37,468 God, what was that, like, sympathy or something? 562 00:28:37,551 --> 00:28:38,928 Mr. Luschek... 563 00:28:39,012 --> 00:28:42,766 I believe that what you are referring to is called guilt. 564 00:28:44,100 --> 00:28:46,310 But I don't have anything to feel guilty about. 565 00:28:46,394 --> 00:28:47,979 Well, guilt is tricky that way. 566 00:28:50,023 --> 00:28:51,816 Yeah, look, I need an honest opinion. 567 00:28:54,653 --> 00:28:56,905 - Am I a piece of shit? - Do you want it straight? 568 00:28:57,530 --> 00:28:58,948 - No. - Mmm. All right. 569 00:28:59,032 --> 00:29:00,366 From what I've observed, 570 00:29:00,449 --> 00:29:04,120 you're lazy, you're selfish as all get-out... 571 00:29:04,203 --> 00:29:07,624 you don't care about much, you don't seem to shower that often. 572 00:29:07,707 --> 00:29:11,294 But you are funny as hell, and I think you're genuine, 573 00:29:11,377 --> 00:29:13,587 which is hard to come by. So, all in all, 574 00:29:13,672 --> 00:29:17,050 I think that makes you... Hmm... What? 575 00:29:17,133 --> 00:29:18,301 Half a piece of shit. 576 00:29:19,302 --> 00:29:21,721 But there's always time for change. 577 00:29:22,847 --> 00:29:24,348 That's the thing. 578 00:29:24,432 --> 00:29:26,309 There's literally nothing for me to do. 579 00:29:29,187 --> 00:29:32,816 She's in max. I can't do anything for her. 580 00:29:32,899 --> 00:29:35,443 And maybe she doesn't even deserve it, even if I could do something. 581 00:29:35,526 --> 00:29:37,696 Well, everybody deserves kindness. 582 00:29:41,449 --> 00:29:44,077 Oh, God, I really got you on that one. 583 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,437 "Everybody deserves kindness"? 584 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:48,877 What do you think I am? 585 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,126 Some black granny knitting on a porch in Savannah? 586 00:29:52,210 --> 00:29:53,461 Come on. 587 00:29:53,544 --> 00:29:56,798 Stop whining in my kitchen and go figure this out. 588 00:29:56,881 --> 00:29:57,882 Oh... 589 00:29:59,008 --> 00:30:00,677 You are a straight, white man. 590 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,511 You don't get to be the victim, sweetie. 591 00:30:03,179 --> 00:30:05,306 Yeah, that whole thing's gonna flip at some point, right? 592 00:30:22,073 --> 00:30:23,116 Hey. 593 00:30:37,922 --> 00:30:39,423 Care if I join you? 594 00:30:48,432 --> 00:30:49,726 All right, what are you doin'? 595 00:30:49,809 --> 00:30:51,602 You're not in a very lovey mood, I see. 596 00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:52,937 "Lovey"? 597 00:30:53,021 --> 00:30:55,899 What is that? Is that, like, an acceptable word where you come from? 598 00:30:55,982 --> 00:30:59,068 No, hey, 'cause here in America... Yeah, that makes us barf. 599 00:31:00,403 --> 00:31:03,156 Okay, well, how would you describe the other night in the bathroom then? 600 00:31:03,239 --> 00:31:05,158 'Cause the way you were screaming my name... 601 00:31:05,241 --> 00:31:06,868 it was pretty hot. 602 00:31:06,951 --> 00:31:10,496 I was just doing my very best Streetcar Named Desire impression. 603 00:31:12,832 --> 00:31:15,376 "Stella!" 604 00:31:15,459 --> 00:31:17,378 That's the, uh, the Meryl Streep one? 605 00:31:19,255 --> 00:31:21,465 Yeah, I hate it when you talk sometimes. 606 00:31:21,549 --> 00:31:22,675 No... 607 00:31:22,759 --> 00:31:23,885 all the time. 608 00:31:23,968 --> 00:31:25,428 Jesus. 609 00:31:26,930 --> 00:31:28,014 What's wrong? 610 00:31:29,015 --> 00:31:30,266 Nothing. 611 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,353 You know, rough day. 612 00:31:40,568 --> 00:31:42,611 I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me 613 00:31:42,695 --> 00:31:44,447 if you were back on that shit. 614 00:31:45,739 --> 00:31:47,200 You're disgusting. 615 00:31:52,663 --> 00:31:53,706 Fucking hell. 616 00:32:00,296 --> 00:32:01,672 Heard you need a thing I have. 617 00:32:03,466 --> 00:32:07,011 A religion that'll stone me to death if I get raped? 618 00:32:07,095 --> 00:32:08,805 Mmm, no thanks, I'm good. 619 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,390 I'll go ahead and assume 620 00:32:11,474 --> 00:32:15,252 Bernie Madoff speaks for your entire religion, too. 621 00:32:15,854 --> 00:32:17,605 Ignorant asshole. 622 00:32:19,773 --> 00:32:22,276 All right. Okay. 623 00:32:23,777 --> 00:32:24,946 Now... 624 00:32:28,074 --> 00:32:29,283 what you talkin' 'bout? 625 00:32:39,002 --> 00:32:41,504 Shit! Wait a minute. 626 00:32:42,463 --> 00:32:43,589 How'd you know I need that? 627 00:32:43,672 --> 00:32:47,635 You make the mistake of assuming anything is private in here. 628 00:32:47,718 --> 00:32:48,970 All right, what you want for it? 629 00:32:49,762 --> 00:32:51,347 Box of tampons for 15 minutes. 630 00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:53,483 Oh, hell, no. 631 00:32:54,142 --> 00:32:57,353 Look, I'll give you one tampon for an hour. 632 00:32:57,436 --> 00:32:59,147 That's unreasonable. 633 00:32:59,230 --> 00:33:00,982 So is God, but that don't stop him. 634 00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:03,276 Are you comparing yourself to God? 635 00:33:03,359 --> 00:33:04,693 I mean, do you even have, like, 636 00:33:04,777 --> 00:33:07,613 one teeny-tiny, itty-bitty bit of humor left in you? 637 00:33:07,696 --> 00:33:10,241 Or does your headscarf numb that part of your brain? 638 00:33:11,117 --> 00:33:12,869 Offer's off the table. 639 00:33:12,952 --> 00:33:14,828 Yeah. 640 00:33:14,913 --> 00:33:17,042 That's what I thought. 641 00:33:17,623 --> 00:33:20,501 You know you just lost, right? 642 00:33:20,584 --> 00:33:22,962 Winnin', losin'. 643 00:33:23,046 --> 00:33:27,050 I'm so enlightened, those words don't mean nothin' to me. 644 00:33:38,561 --> 00:33:40,104 Hey, I'm telling you, you made a mistake. 645 00:33:40,188 --> 00:33:42,023 I don't get visitors. 646 00:34:11,219 --> 00:34:12,340 Hello, sunshine. 647 00:34:13,140 --> 00:34:14,722 Oh, hey, fuckwad. 648 00:34:14,805 --> 00:34:17,411 Thanks for your sappy love letters. 649 00:34:17,765 --> 00:34:19,477 I wanted you to know I cared. 650 00:34:20,186 --> 00:34:22,313 You know, in my family, "fuck you" meant, uh, 651 00:34:22,396 --> 00:34:24,565 "you really get me," so, joke's on you. 652 00:34:26,109 --> 00:34:27,610 What the fuck are you doin' here? 653 00:34:27,693 --> 00:34:29,028 I was in the neighborhood. 654 00:34:30,071 --> 00:34:32,031 Came to say hi, thought you could use some company. 655 00:34:32,115 --> 00:34:34,283 Yeah, 'cause I'm really lonely, uh... 656 00:34:34,367 --> 00:34:36,202 with my five roommates and 400 other people 657 00:34:36,285 --> 00:34:38,454 that I gotta shit and eat with on a daily basis. 658 00:34:38,537 --> 00:34:39,872 Wait! 659 00:34:44,835 --> 00:34:47,835 You know, you put me in a really crappy position, Nichols. 660 00:34:48,172 --> 00:34:49,632 I almost lost my job because of you. 661 00:34:49,715 --> 00:34:51,384 You're shitting me right now, right? 662 00:34:52,843 --> 00:34:54,220 Just gimme a second to work up to it. 663 00:34:56,097 --> 00:34:57,473 Look... 664 00:34:58,391 --> 00:35:00,768 I wanted to say that I'm sorry... 665 00:35:01,394 --> 00:35:02,436 ... that things 666 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:03,937 ended up the way that they did. 667 00:35:04,022 --> 00:35:06,732 Now, I'm sure it's not great down here. 668 00:35:08,276 --> 00:35:09,360 There. 669 00:35:10,486 --> 00:35:12,196 - That's it. - Wow! 670 00:35:13,781 --> 00:35:15,633 Are you the symbol of empathy. 671 00:35:15,716 --> 00:35:18,059 No, Luschek, things aren't great. 672 00:35:18,143 --> 00:35:22,873 Let's see, uh... I'm sober, so that's something. 673 00:35:22,956 --> 00:35:26,210 All right, like, uh, intentionally sober, 674 00:35:26,294 --> 00:35:29,588 not barely-skating-by sober, for the first time in my life. 675 00:35:29,672 --> 00:35:32,383 Um... hardest fuckin' thing I've ever done 676 00:35:32,466 --> 00:35:34,635 and, oh, yeah, I picked a hell of a time to do it 677 00:35:34,718 --> 00:35:37,964 considering that anything you want down here is available to you 678 00:35:38,047 --> 00:35:39,807 and less than a foot away at practically all times. 679 00:35:39,890 --> 00:35:43,061 Uh, what else, what else? Let me catch you up, uh... 680 00:35:43,144 --> 00:35:47,231 - I have no family, uh... - I am completely alone. 681 00:35:47,315 --> 00:35:49,150 I have no friends. 682 00:35:49,233 --> 00:35:52,695 And, uh, yeah, yeah! It's all my fault, so... 683 00:35:52,778 --> 00:35:55,290 thank you for coming all the way down here 684 00:35:55,315 --> 00:35:56,931 and, uh, reminding me of all that, 685 00:35:56,990 --> 00:36:00,994 while also managing to conveniently clear your own conscience, you know. 686 00:36:01,079 --> 00:36:02,955 - I fuckin' really appreciate it! - Hey. Hey. 687 00:36:03,039 --> 00:36:04,373 I'm sorry. Uh... 688 00:36:04,457 --> 00:36:06,750 Hey, next time, do me a favor, right, 689 00:36:06,834 --> 00:36:08,001 just do it the old-fashioned way 690 00:36:08,086 --> 00:36:11,089 and cum all over my face and then leave, okay? 691 00:36:11,172 --> 00:36:12,798 Fuck you! 692 00:36:50,544 --> 00:36:51,670 Mmm. 693 00:36:56,134 --> 00:36:57,426 You okay? 694 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,517 Does it bother you that I, like... 695 00:37:05,893 --> 00:37:06,977 I never... 696 00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:11,190 - Nah, girl. I'm good. - You know... 697 00:37:11,274 --> 00:37:13,025 But it's so one-sided. 698 00:37:13,109 --> 00:37:15,111 You admittin' you're a pillow princess? 699 00:37:15,194 --> 00:37:17,155 Okay, what is that? 700 00:37:18,572 --> 00:37:20,283 Oh. 701 00:37:20,366 --> 00:37:21,784 You know, like, um... 702 00:37:21,867 --> 00:37:25,496 Your head's always on the pillow, and you don't really do much else. 703 00:37:26,414 --> 00:37:29,542 - Stop. - That is totally what I am! 704 00:37:29,625 --> 00:37:31,877 Oh, no! 705 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,213 See? I don't even know the lingo. 706 00:37:34,297 --> 00:37:36,299 You don't need to know the lingo. 707 00:37:38,759 --> 00:37:39,968 Look. 708 00:37:43,181 --> 00:37:44,723 We'll ease into it, okay? 709 00:37:45,891 --> 00:37:48,436 All right? You don't have to do anything you don't wanna do. 710 00:37:51,147 --> 00:37:52,690 You're ready when you're ready. 711 00:37:58,904 --> 00:38:00,364 You taste like vagina. 712 00:38:42,323 --> 00:38:45,659 So, did you figure it out yet, you piece of shit? 713 00:38:47,453 --> 00:38:49,872 Rub my nose in it. Thanks. 714 00:38:50,623 --> 00:38:51,915 What happened? 715 00:38:53,417 --> 00:38:54,877 - I went to visit her. - Mmm-hmm. 716 00:38:55,419 --> 00:38:56,420 Made it worse. 717 00:38:56,504 --> 00:39:00,132 Well, did you make it about her? Or did you make it about yourself? 718 00:39:00,799 --> 00:39:01,925 I apologized to her. 719 00:39:02,009 --> 00:39:03,386 I thought you didn't do anything wrong. 720 00:39:04,803 --> 00:39:07,055 Yeah. Well, I didn't. 721 00:39:07,765 --> 00:39:10,351 That makes my apology even more meaningful. 722 00:39:10,434 --> 00:39:11,685 Only if it's genuine. 723 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,563 Who made up all these rules? 724 00:39:14,647 --> 00:39:16,524 Do you want me to call you a piece of shit again? 725 00:39:16,607 --> 00:39:18,150 Would that be more helpful? 726 00:39:21,987 --> 00:39:24,228 I gotta tell Caputo how everything went down. 727 00:39:25,115 --> 00:39:26,325 That's the only way to get her out of there. 728 00:39:26,409 --> 00:39:27,993 Won't you lose your job? 729 00:39:29,453 --> 00:39:30,496 Most definitely. 730 00:39:30,579 --> 00:39:34,708 Well, that is the most idiotic plan that I have ever heard. 731 00:39:34,792 --> 00:39:38,546 Now, this is comin' from a lady who once tried to sell her own line of ketchup. 732 00:39:39,380 --> 00:39:41,835 But... Heinz is the only ketchup. 733 00:39:42,383 --> 00:39:44,385 Nobody wants fancy ketchup. 734 00:39:44,885 --> 00:39:46,637 Where were you in '96? 735 00:39:47,555 --> 00:39:50,474 - I was 14. - Oh, go fuck yourself. 736 00:39:51,934 --> 00:39:54,437 Honey, you can't confess. 737 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,189 It's not gonna do you or her a lick of good. 738 00:39:57,273 --> 00:40:00,651 And besides, nobody ever confesses because it's the right thing to do. 739 00:40:00,734 --> 00:40:02,903 They confess out of self-interest. 740 00:40:03,821 --> 00:40:05,197 - Yes, exactly! - Hmm. 741 00:40:05,281 --> 00:40:07,366 I can't keep carrying around all this guilt! 742 00:40:07,866 --> 00:40:10,453 Well, sounds like you're gonna have to, my friend. 743 00:40:12,913 --> 00:40:14,748 Now, can I get me some of that? 744 00:40:15,874 --> 00:40:18,627 Come on, butterscotch is my favorite. 745 00:40:21,839 --> 00:40:22,965 Thank you. 746 00:40:26,427 --> 00:40:27,886 Mmm! 747 00:40:29,054 --> 00:40:31,139 I really don't like feelings. 748 00:40:33,559 --> 00:40:34,768 Uh-uh. 749 00:40:34,852 --> 00:40:36,269 Puff, puff, pass. 750 00:40:41,108 --> 00:40:43,652 Charleston, West Virginia. 751 00:40:45,070 --> 00:40:47,698 Madison, Wisconsin. 752 00:40:49,408 --> 00:40:52,202 Cheyenne, Wyoming. 753 00:40:53,036 --> 00:40:55,331 Montgomery, Alabama. 754 00:40:55,414 --> 00:40:56,457 You, cleaning lady. 755 00:40:56,540 --> 00:40:58,291 We need a mop in room 12. 756 00:40:59,292 --> 00:41:04,798 Well, I prefer Ms. Cleaning Lady, but sure, demean me. 757 00:41:26,695 --> 00:41:27,905 Where's Burset? 758 00:41:28,906 --> 00:41:30,533 Shut up and do your work... 759 00:41:30,616 --> 00:41:33,118 Ms. Cleaning Lady. We need that cell. 760 00:41:46,089 --> 00:41:48,133 Good morning to you, too. 761 00:41:53,096 --> 00:41:54,097 What's up? 762 00:41:54,181 --> 00:41:55,891 Mmm-mmm. 763 00:41:59,395 --> 00:42:00,521 What? 764 00:42:03,816 --> 00:42:05,984 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey. 765 00:42:07,110 --> 00:42:08,571 You don't have to do that. 766 00:42:08,654 --> 00:42:11,198 - But... - Look, I don't want you to do that 767 00:42:11,281 --> 00:42:13,105 'cause you think that's what I want. 768 00:42:13,784 --> 00:42:16,829 I want you to want to do it. You feel me? 769 00:42:17,663 --> 00:42:19,247 I don't wanna screw this up again. 770 00:42:23,669 --> 00:42:25,378 What's... what's going on up there? 771 00:42:32,803 --> 00:42:34,972 What if I never want to? 772 00:42:35,723 --> 00:42:38,892 I just have all these questions, you know? Like... 773 00:42:38,976 --> 00:42:40,603 what does this mean? 774 00:42:41,729 --> 00:42:44,022 What would happen if we both got out? 775 00:42:48,861 --> 00:42:49,862 I... 776 00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,241 I don't know if this would be enough for me. 777 00:42:55,659 --> 00:42:58,621 You mean, you don't know if I would be enough for you. 778 00:42:58,704 --> 00:43:03,250 But... No, it's not you. You are amazing. 779 00:43:04,001 --> 00:43:06,837 But you're a girl. 780 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,881 So you're saying you don't wanna be with me. 781 00:43:08,964 --> 00:43:09,965 No. 782 00:43:10,966 --> 00:43:11,967 I... 783 00:43:13,010 --> 00:43:14,845 I just don't know... 784 00:43:15,888 --> 00:43:19,391 if I'll ever be what you need me to be. 785 00:43:19,475 --> 00:43:21,268 You gotta let me handle that. 786 00:43:22,227 --> 00:43:23,562 What do you mean? 787 00:43:25,814 --> 00:43:29,276 Look, maybe... 788 00:43:30,861 --> 00:43:33,280 this challenges what you thought you were. 789 00:43:35,908 --> 00:43:36,868 And... 790 00:43:37,126 --> 00:43:40,645 maybe I'm gonna get my heart broken in a thousand different pieces. 791 00:43:41,664 --> 00:43:43,165 But those are maybes. 792 00:43:45,501 --> 00:43:47,711 You can't live your life accordin' to maybes. 793 00:43:52,716 --> 00:43:53,717 I love you. 794 00:43:58,556 --> 00:43:59,557 You do? 795 00:44:05,771 --> 00:44:07,648 I love you, too. 796 00:44:20,077 --> 00:44:22,705 She can see us. Move over. 797 00:44:31,589 --> 00:44:33,215 I have 11 cards. 798 00:44:33,298 --> 00:44:34,800 You're supposed to have 11 cards. 799 00:44:34,883 --> 00:44:36,635 Okay, good. That's good. 800 00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,428 Then, that... No, this is awesome. 801 00:44:39,096 --> 00:44:40,180 Hey, Alex. 802 00:44:41,264 --> 00:44:42,558 Can I talk to you for a sec? 803 00:44:43,642 --> 00:44:45,518 - Alone? - Whatever you need to say to me, 804 00:44:45,603 --> 00:44:47,479 you can say in front of my good friend, Lolly, here. 805 00:44:47,562 --> 00:44:49,189 That's me. I'm the good friend. 806 00:44:49,272 --> 00:44:51,024 I didn't know you two were so close. 807 00:44:51,108 --> 00:44:53,401 Oh, you didn't get the, uh, friend announcement that we sent out? 808 00:44:54,653 --> 00:44:57,906 I'm kind of in a rush, but I would really like to talk to you. 809 00:44:57,990 --> 00:44:59,574 It's not laundry day. 810 00:45:00,408 --> 00:45:02,995 Well, I've got a lot of dirty stuff, so... 811 00:45:05,122 --> 00:45:08,000 Okay. Cool. 812 00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:11,044 What did you mean when you said you were right? 813 00:45:14,381 --> 00:45:16,341 Nothing, I just... 814 00:45:16,424 --> 00:45:19,136 I just knew you were gonna get swept up in all that. 815 00:45:21,429 --> 00:45:22,514 Oh. 816 00:45:23,515 --> 00:45:27,268 Well, they say hindsight is 20/20, so... 817 00:45:27,936 --> 00:45:29,146 See you later. 818 00:45:31,649 --> 00:45:36,695 Okay, that was like watching a really bad play. 819 00:45:54,963 --> 00:45:56,589 What the hell is this mess doin' here? 820 00:45:56,674 --> 00:45:58,759 We had it cleared 20 minutes ago, sir. 821 00:45:58,842 --> 00:46:01,344 I left to go on rounds, and by the time I came back, 822 00:46:01,428 --> 00:46:03,346 it was up again. We can't keep on top of it. 823 00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:05,933 Well, take care of it. Now. 824 00:46:07,517 --> 00:46:10,437 - Hey, you have a place to sleep. - Ow! What the fuck? 825 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,898 Rouse it up! You have quarters. 826 00:46:12,981 --> 00:46:16,318 - Who the fuck just kicked me? - Wake-up time. 827 00:46:16,401 --> 00:46:18,195 I was just... 828 00:46:18,278 --> 00:46:20,823 Get these pillows, get these sheets, fold them. 829 00:46:20,906 --> 00:46:22,490 It hasn't even healed yet! 830 00:46:22,574 --> 00:46:24,076 Come on. 831 00:46:24,159 --> 00:46:28,330 You don't need your own tepee. This is a prison, not a sleepover. 832 00:46:28,413 --> 00:46:30,833 Oh, shit! Yo, warden! 833 00:46:30,916 --> 00:46:33,626 Hey, yo. Long time no see, man. 834 00:46:33,711 --> 00:46:35,045 Yo, how's it hanging? 835 00:46:35,128 --> 00:46:38,423 - Hey, looking sharp, huh? - Step back, inmate. 836 00:46:38,506 --> 00:46:39,632 We have this handled, sir. 837 00:46:39,717 --> 00:46:41,426 Hey, Mr. Caputo. 838 00:46:41,509 --> 00:46:44,387 Look at this. It's a basket I've been making. 839 00:46:44,471 --> 00:46:45,723 You wanna know how? 840 00:46:45,806 --> 00:46:48,266 - Sure. - I've been unraveling all the socks 841 00:46:48,350 --> 00:46:49,684 that people throw away. 842 00:46:49,768 --> 00:46:54,147 Individually dyeing each strand with the pink soap in the bathroom, 843 00:46:54,231 --> 00:46:57,985 or the green mush, I think it's peas, and other stuff with color. 844 00:46:58,068 --> 00:47:03,323 Then, I took the string and I weaved it over trash bags. 845 00:47:03,406 --> 00:47:05,993 Three hundred hours. Still not done. 846 00:47:06,076 --> 00:47:08,328 Yeah, idle time is the devil's workshop. 847 00:47:08,411 --> 00:47:10,080 When do we get to work? 848 00:47:10,163 --> 00:47:12,733 Yeah, I can't pay for nothin' at commissary. 849 00:47:12,816 --> 00:47:15,293 Age discrimination. That's what I'm calling it. 850 00:47:15,377 --> 00:47:18,088 Inmates, back up. 851 00:47:18,171 --> 00:47:19,982 I'll have this under control in five minutes... 852 00:47:20,066 --> 00:47:20,966 I've got this. 853 00:47:23,218 --> 00:47:26,945 Ladies, I have heard your complaints... 854 00:47:27,555 --> 00:47:30,976 and trust me, they have not fallen on deaf ears. 855 00:47:31,601 --> 00:47:33,645 In fact, I can't tell you much yet, 856 00:47:33,728 --> 00:47:39,026 but we have an exciting new educational program that will be announced soon. 857 00:47:39,109 --> 00:47:41,028 Bringin' back the GED program? 858 00:47:41,111 --> 00:47:43,280 - Yeah, remember that one? - Mmm. 859 00:47:43,363 --> 00:47:45,407 I think you'll all be very satisfied. 860 00:47:45,490 --> 00:47:48,076 In the meantime, hang in there. 861 00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,703 Keep your heads up, okay? And... 862 00:47:51,914 --> 00:47:55,250 take care of each other. This is beautiful work. 863 00:47:55,333 --> 00:47:58,420 Thanks. And I'll believe it when I see it. 864 00:47:58,503 --> 00:48:00,755 - You'll see it. - All right, let's go. Make a path. 865 00:48:00,839 --> 00:48:02,299 Let's make a path. 866 00:48:04,051 --> 00:48:05,302 Caputo! 867 00:48:05,385 --> 00:48:09,556 Caputo! Caputo! Caputo! 868 00:48:13,518 --> 00:48:15,728 - What happened to you? - I'm not sure. 869 00:48:18,398 --> 00:48:20,943 - She's still out? - Goin' on hour 19 now. 870 00:48:25,405 --> 00:48:27,240 Guess she really needed to sleep. 871 00:48:28,075 --> 00:48:30,077 I'm sorry, okay? 872 00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,287 God, why is everyone always so mad at me? 873 00:48:33,288 --> 00:48:34,456 You think she's dead? 874 00:48:35,582 --> 00:48:36,718 I don't like her that much, 875 00:48:36,743 --> 00:48:38,317 but I wouldn't want her to be dead or nothin'. 876 00:48:38,376 --> 00:48:41,463 We'd have heard if she was dead. Ain't no secrets in this place. 877 00:48:41,546 --> 00:48:45,133 But if she is dead, I call dibs on those little glasses she wears on a string. 878 00:48:45,217 --> 00:48:47,010 I think my eyes are starting to go. 879 00:48:47,094 --> 00:48:49,137 Looks like it's your lucky day, inmate. 880 00:48:50,055 --> 00:48:51,681 Yo, what the fuck are you doing? 881 00:48:51,764 --> 00:48:54,226 - Get off me, man. Ouch! - Nah, I don't think I will. 882 00:48:54,309 --> 00:48:55,477 We searched your bunks. 883 00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,354 Found some interesting evidence under your bed. 884 00:48:57,437 --> 00:48:59,064 - What? What? - Underwear evidence. 885 00:48:59,147 --> 00:49:00,565 Dude, you blew the mystery. 886 00:49:00,648 --> 00:49:02,943 Oh, come on. Like she doesn't know what's under her own bunk? 887 00:49:09,199 --> 00:49:11,034 What the fuck? 888 00:49:12,285 --> 00:49:16,206 As I understand, Cindy, you need a cell phone. 889 00:49:16,289 --> 00:49:19,209 - Mmm-hmm. - Abdullah, you have a cell phone. 890 00:49:19,292 --> 00:49:23,338 I am sure we can reach some sort of agreement for this problem. 891 00:49:23,421 --> 00:49:26,424 No, the problem is she gobblin' up all my real estate 892 00:49:26,508 --> 00:49:28,051 like some hateful Monopoly shoe. 893 00:49:28,135 --> 00:49:32,264 I am always the car in Monopoly. 894 00:49:33,056 --> 00:49:34,266 You know... 895 00:49:34,349 --> 00:49:38,853 I never did shit to you except claim what was rightfully mine. 896 00:49:39,729 --> 00:49:42,482 They gave me a bed, I slept in it. 897 00:49:42,565 --> 00:49:45,693 And ever since, you been makin' this bunk an unsafe place. 898 00:49:47,737 --> 00:49:51,033 See, that's funny, 'cause I think nine out of ten experts would agree 899 00:49:51,116 --> 00:49:54,314 that you made shit unsafe when you put a bomb in here. 900 00:49:54,397 --> 00:49:58,081 I retaliated against actions you took. 901 00:49:58,165 --> 00:50:00,292 Oh, hell, no... 902 00:50:00,375 --> 00:50:04,629 Ladies! Ladies. Let's remember to use "I" statements, please. 903 00:50:04,712 --> 00:50:08,300 Seems like diggin' up the past ain't gonna get us nowhere. 904 00:50:08,383 --> 00:50:13,931 Let's try to remember to stay focused on moving forward. 905 00:50:15,098 --> 00:50:16,158 Fine. 906 00:50:16,724 --> 00:50:18,920 I... want in. 907 00:50:19,433 --> 00:50:21,980 You can use the phone for however long you want, 908 00:50:22,064 --> 00:50:25,358 if I get 25% of the payday you get from that magazine. 909 00:50:26,734 --> 00:50:28,820 Seems fair to me. Cindy? 910 00:50:31,198 --> 00:50:32,532 I don't trust her. 911 00:50:33,283 --> 00:50:36,453 So? You think people trusted L. Ron Hubbard? 912 00:50:37,245 --> 00:50:39,539 Fuck, no. But that don't stop Scientologists 913 00:50:39,622 --> 00:50:41,833 from handing over fistfuls of money to him. 914 00:50:41,916 --> 00:50:44,502 I know! Hold... 915 00:50:44,586 --> 00:50:47,547 - You read Going Clear? - Of course! 916 00:50:47,630 --> 00:50:50,592 How about when that crazy psycho told his wife 917 00:50:50,675 --> 00:50:52,844 to kill herself so he wouldn't have to get divorced? 918 00:50:52,927 --> 00:50:54,762 - I know, man! I know! - Mmm-hmm. 919 00:50:54,846 --> 00:50:56,723 You know them fuckers don't even pay taxes? 920 00:50:56,806 --> 00:50:59,226 - Oh, girl! - And we're the criminals? 921 00:50:59,309 --> 00:51:01,979 I heard that. Oh, I got a theory! 922 00:51:02,062 --> 00:51:03,188 What's your theory, dawg? 923 00:51:03,271 --> 00:51:05,857 What if he like Tupac? Not really dead. 924 00:51:05,940 --> 00:51:07,442 - Mmm. - Still alive? 925 00:51:07,525 --> 00:51:09,361 Alive! 926 00:51:11,404 --> 00:51:14,324 - They're not mine. - I should hope not. 927 00:51:14,407 --> 00:51:17,160 That's a lot of dirty underpants for one girl... 928 00:51:17,244 --> 00:51:19,829 - in a lot of different sizes. - Yeah, I didn't do nothing. 929 00:51:19,912 --> 00:51:23,291 See, that's where our perspectives start to diverge, Ruiz... 930 00:51:23,375 --> 00:51:25,793 because the evidence says otherwise. 931 00:51:25,877 --> 00:51:27,129 Come on. 932 00:51:28,463 --> 00:51:30,132 Everyone knows that's Chapman's gig. 933 00:51:30,798 --> 00:51:32,300 Chapman? 934 00:51:32,384 --> 00:51:36,096 Who started the very task force that uncovered your illegal operation? 935 00:51:36,179 --> 00:51:38,765 I don't think so. 936 00:51:38,848 --> 00:51:40,965 That's it, isn't it, right? 937 00:51:41,518 --> 00:51:43,686 If I was white and blonde, 938 00:51:43,770 --> 00:51:46,939 you wouldn't think so about me, either. 939 00:51:47,024 --> 00:51:50,568 Well, that's some corrupt racist bullshit you're runnin' 'round here. 940 00:51:51,694 --> 00:51:55,240 In light of your crimes... I will be recommending 941 00:51:55,323 --> 00:51:59,244 that the judge add three to five years to your sentence. 942 00:52:00,662 --> 00:52:02,580 Uh... what? 943 00:52:03,748 --> 00:52:06,543 Are you... You can't do that. 944 00:52:07,544 --> 00:52:11,256 Come on, just send me to the SHU for a couple of weeks and get it over with. 945 00:52:11,339 --> 00:52:15,093 It's fucking underwear! We're not talking about drugs here! Jesus! 946 00:52:15,843 --> 00:52:16,928 That would be easy, right? 947 00:52:17,011 --> 00:52:19,722 Send you away for a couple weeks, forget this ever happened. 948 00:52:20,598 --> 00:52:23,393 Well, that's not how things work around here anymore, inmate. 949 00:52:23,893 --> 00:52:25,437 You stole property... 950 00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:29,107 ... from a private company and started a for-profit business. 951 00:52:29,191 --> 00:52:31,776 You organized inmates. 952 00:52:31,859 --> 00:52:33,320 You ask me, 953 00:52:33,403 --> 00:52:35,988 - looks a whole lot like gang activity... - Oh, come on. 954 00:52:36,073 --> 00:52:39,076 ... which you would know a lot about, wouldn't you? 955 00:52:39,159 --> 00:52:40,410 Isn't that the family business? 956 00:52:41,786 --> 00:52:44,289 You know what we do with gang leaders, Ruiz? 957 00:52:45,373 --> 00:52:47,084 We make examples of 'em. 958 00:52:48,501 --> 00:52:51,546 So get back down there and tell your muchachas 959 00:52:51,629 --> 00:52:53,170 how poor choices... 960 00:52:53,631 --> 00:52:54,674 can ruin a life. 961 00:52:56,134 --> 00:52:57,594 Maybe cry... 962 00:52:58,303 --> 00:52:59,637 'cause it's so sad. 963 00:53:13,485 --> 00:53:17,780 Just say thank you, and then get back to being your cute, gruff self. 964 00:53:19,282 --> 00:53:22,285 - Excuse me? - I solved your problem. Say thank you. 965 00:53:23,495 --> 00:53:26,414 - What problem? - With your little friend? 966 00:53:27,039 --> 00:53:28,040 I don't understand. 967 00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:29,690 Oh, honey. 968 00:53:30,168 --> 00:53:32,879 A little money and a good lawyer go a long way. 969 00:53:32,962 --> 00:53:35,632 Then why are you in prison? 970 00:53:37,175 --> 00:53:39,761 You don't wanna fuck with the IRS, that's all I can tell you. 971 00:53:41,095 --> 00:53:42,139 So she's really comin' back? 972 00:53:42,222 --> 00:53:45,767 Ugh. Don't look at me like I am some kind of saint. 973 00:53:46,601 --> 00:53:48,853 You're my only friend in here. 974 00:53:48,936 --> 00:53:51,606 I was not about to let you make some kind of stupid decision 975 00:53:51,689 --> 00:53:53,708 and leave me here all by myself. 976 00:53:54,151 --> 00:53:56,194 Nor could I take your bellyaching anymore. 977 00:53:56,278 --> 00:53:58,488 Two birds, one stone. 978 00:53:58,571 --> 00:54:00,584 Now, get over here. 979 00:54:01,199 --> 00:54:02,362 Have a seat. 980 00:54:03,701 --> 00:54:04,869 I'm... I really shouldn't. 981 00:54:04,952 --> 00:54:08,122 If you close that door, nobody will know you're in here. 982 00:54:15,380 --> 00:54:16,631 Oh, I'm sorry. 983 00:54:16,714 --> 00:54:18,716 Did I make it sound like you had a choice? 984 00:54:20,718 --> 00:54:22,220 I took care of you. 985 00:54:23,763 --> 00:54:26,641 Now you are gonna take care of me. 986 00:54:27,725 --> 00:54:29,686 Butterscotch. 987 00:54:50,457 --> 00:54:52,625 - Stay cool. - What's happening? 988 00:54:52,709 --> 00:54:54,039 I was a shark. 989 00:54:54,336 --> 00:54:55,378 I made a move. 990 00:55:00,675 --> 00:55:03,970 I am going to bury you! 991 00:55:04,053 --> 00:55:07,515 You're never coming back from this. Never. 992 00:55:14,606 --> 00:55:15,732 What did you do? 993 00:55:15,815 --> 00:55:18,901 I had to protect my people. 994 00:55:21,195 --> 00:55:22,405 I had to. 995 00:55:26,576 --> 00:55:27,952 You okay? 996 00:55:32,915 --> 00:55:35,126 They're giving me more time. 997 00:55:35,209 --> 00:55:38,212 This bitch frames me, and they're stealing my life. 998 00:55:38,296 --> 00:55:39,631 What? Over fucking panties? 999 00:55:39,714 --> 00:55:41,299 Yo, my baby girl's gonna be in kindergarten 1000 00:55:41,383 --> 00:55:43,009 by the time I get outta here now. 1001 00:55:43,885 --> 00:55:45,094 That bitch is mine. 1002 00:55:51,518 --> 00:55:53,645 Fuck it. 1003 00:55:54,646 --> 00:55:56,731 - We goin' legit. - Fuck, yeah. 1004 00:55:56,814 --> 00:55:58,065 You talkin' 'bout drugs? 1005 00:55:58,149 --> 00:56:00,109 - Yes, you idiot. - All right. 1006 00:56:00,192 --> 00:56:01,736 It's about time we was for real. 1007 00:56:27,554 --> 00:56:28,805 I'm here about the thing. 1008 00:56:33,017 --> 00:56:34,311 You understand the payment? 1009 00:56:54,622 --> 00:56:56,541 Need your signature on this. 1010 00:57:02,380 --> 00:57:03,423 Nichols? 1011 00:57:04,966 --> 00:57:06,175 Huh. 1012 00:57:07,093 --> 00:57:09,887 Well, my prodigal daughter returneth. 1013 00:57:23,568 --> 00:57:25,236 Payment first. 1014 00:57:40,921 --> 00:57:46,514 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com