1 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,859 What the... 2 00:02:09,893 --> 00:02:14,272 Everybody's going to the lake, 'cause there's this big hole in the fence. 3 00:02:14,356 --> 00:02:16,859 I was just thinking, you know, maybe you wanna come? 4 00:02:19,945 --> 00:02:22,364 Please! Please, Manfredo. 5 00:02:22,447 --> 00:02:27,285 I need bodies. I got 100 new inmates. I'm dying here. 6 00:02:27,369 --> 00:02:30,705 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! They're all going, sir! Sir! 7 00:02:30,788 --> 00:02:32,457 Come on! For you, it's another day in Max. 8 00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:34,501 - Sir! - You know how to handle your shit 9 00:02:34,584 --> 00:02:36,128 with a few less COs. 10 00:02:36,211 --> 00:02:39,297 I got inmate-palooza here. I am drowning in a sea of orange. 11 00:02:39,381 --> 00:02:41,758 Sir! They are all out! 12 00:02:41,842 --> 00:02:44,887 What the fuck do you think I'm on the phone for, Bayley? 13 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:47,347 I know they walked out. I am handling it. 14 00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:48,473 - Walk out? - Call who? 15 00:02:48,556 --> 00:02:51,143 It's not a walk out, sir. They are... They are running at full speed! 16 00:02:55,438 --> 00:02:58,108 I'm the Director of Human Activity! 17 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:00,760 That's right. 18 00:03:00,944 --> 00:03:03,531 Well, why the hell not me? 19 00:03:03,613 --> 00:03:07,867 As of a few hours ago, asshole. Why the hell am I even askin'? 20 00:03:07,951 --> 00:03:11,997 Send me some goddamn COs now! That's an order. 21 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:14,708 That's right. I want six guys. 22 00:03:14,791 --> 00:03:16,876 And I want real guys. 23 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,212 Thank you, Manfredo. 24 00:03:20,255 --> 00:03:22,925 I'll be expecting them within the hour. 25 00:03:25,802 --> 00:03:28,055 'Cause I'm the fucking warden. 26 00:03:28,888 --> 00:03:32,600 Sir? The majority of our inmate population 27 00:03:32,684 --> 00:03:35,478 has run out of the prison 28 00:03:35,562 --> 00:03:38,065 through a breach in the fence on the south side of the field 29 00:03:38,148 --> 00:03:44,237 and is now swimming in the lake adjacent to campus, sir... Warden. 30 00:03:44,988 --> 00:03:48,033 That's cool to say. Congrats on that, by the way. 31 00:03:56,541 --> 00:03:57,834 Hey! 32 00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:01,463 Hey! 33 00:04:01,546 --> 00:04:02,672 Hey! 34 00:04:02,755 --> 00:04:04,674 Come on, come on, come on. 35 00:04:07,552 --> 00:04:09,179 Look at them run. 36 00:04:10,888 --> 00:04:14,392 You see that? Man, word travels fast. 37 00:04:14,476 --> 00:04:16,686 Yeah. Hey, can I get through, please? 38 00:04:16,769 --> 00:04:18,188 I can't believe this is happening. 39 00:04:18,271 --> 00:04:19,731 Sometimes you got to do what you got to do. 40 00:04:19,814 --> 00:04:20,983 Will you get the fuck out of my way? 41 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,987 Do you really think it's wise to be speaking to me in that manner? 42 00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:27,655 Jesus, Chapman. A little magic happens around here 43 00:04:27,739 --> 00:04:30,742 and you make it all about you, like you made it happen. 44 00:04:30,825 --> 00:04:32,494 But I did, that's my point. 45 00:04:32,577 --> 00:04:35,747 I'm gangsta. Like with an "A" at the end. 46 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,040 Excuse me. 47 00:04:38,916 --> 00:04:40,335 I sent that bitch to Max. 48 00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:44,381 There's a hole in the fence. Everybody running to the lake. 49 00:04:44,464 --> 00:04:47,134 Nobody knows you, gangsta with an "A". 50 00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:51,846 Then why aren't you going? 51 00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:55,183 They don't let nice things next to prisons. 52 00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:58,103 That lake probably another Crestwood project. 53 00:04:58,186 --> 00:05:04,026 Storage for fracked gas or crude oil, full of salt brine run-off. 54 00:05:04,109 --> 00:05:05,818 Who's going to complain? 55 00:05:05,902 --> 00:05:08,196 I think Miss Rosa get cancer from that lake. 56 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:11,658 That's horrible! And they're swimming in that? You should tell people. 57 00:05:11,741 --> 00:05:14,161 No, no, no. I'm going in. 58 00:05:14,244 --> 00:05:17,872 Take a long, hot shower in the good shower. 59 00:05:17,955 --> 00:05:20,250 No lines. No one to bother. 60 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:24,462 Deep conditioner pack. Replenish luster and shine. 61 00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:27,507 See you later, Thug Life. 62 00:05:30,510 --> 00:05:31,719 Wanna go to the movies or something? 63 00:05:31,803 --> 00:05:33,055 No, I'm too riled up. 64 00:05:33,138 --> 00:05:34,389 - Skee ball? - Yes. 65 00:05:38,226 --> 00:05:39,936 Look at that. 66 00:05:40,019 --> 00:05:42,772 - They're not stoppin' and droppin'. - No, they are not. 67 00:05:42,855 --> 00:05:47,152 Something's going on. Maybe this is it. Maybe they've finally decided to riot. 68 00:05:47,235 --> 00:05:50,322 - You know women don't riot. - Oh, really? Do I know that? 69 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,952 Maybe this tipped them over, and you know what that would mean. 70 00:05:56,035 --> 00:05:58,871 We get to wear the riot gear. Oh, my God. 71 00:05:58,955 --> 00:06:00,039 I love the riot gear. 72 00:06:00,123 --> 00:06:02,751 I know you do, panda. I know you do. 73 00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:04,586 They're way understaffed. It could get bad in there. 74 00:06:04,669 --> 00:06:08,173 It would serve them right. Come on. We're done here. 75 00:06:09,048 --> 00:06:10,092 Fuck 'em. 76 00:06:27,024 --> 00:06:29,611 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 77 00:06:29,694 --> 00:06:32,155 What the fuck is taking you people so long? 78 00:06:32,239 --> 00:06:34,199 Just a lot of stuff to put on, sir. 79 00:06:34,282 --> 00:06:36,784 Hey, can someone tighten my straps, please? 80 00:06:39,621 --> 00:06:41,914 We had no choice. 81 00:06:41,998 --> 00:06:45,168 I mean, you... you had no choice. 82 00:06:46,294 --> 00:06:49,088 One hundred twelve acres, just for parking. 83 00:06:50,047 --> 00:06:51,174 What? 84 00:06:51,258 --> 00:06:56,804 The NSA headquarters has 112 acres around the building, just for parking. 85 00:06:56,888 --> 00:07:00,808 That's like 85 football fields full of NSA employees' cars. 86 00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:04,354 The No Such Agency. Shit. 87 00:07:04,437 --> 00:07:05,622 Secret. 88 00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:08,525 You know, we don't even know what their budget is. 89 00:07:08,608 --> 00:07:11,111 But they get to know who we're having phone sex with, 90 00:07:11,194 --> 00:07:12,320 how we pickin' our nose on the webcam... 91 00:07:12,404 --> 00:07:13,613 - Listen to me, listen to me. - What? 92 00:07:13,696 --> 00:07:16,366 I can't... I cannot go through this again. 93 00:07:16,449 --> 00:07:22,122 Lolly, I swear to you, Aydin was not NSA. He was not NCS. 94 00:07:22,205 --> 00:07:25,958 Oh, no. CIA, DIA, NSB, INB... 95 00:07:26,042 --> 00:07:28,545 He was my old boss' hit man. 96 00:07:29,086 --> 00:07:31,756 What? Not a very good one, obviously. 97 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,717 He had his moments. 98 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,432 Did you hear that? 99 00:07:40,515 --> 00:07:42,309 Or did you hear not that? 100 00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:44,477 Okay. 101 00:07:44,561 --> 00:07:47,189 Okay, let's get the fuck out of here! 102 00:07:47,272 --> 00:07:49,316 I'm serious. It's crazy town out there. 103 00:07:49,399 --> 00:07:52,485 I'm trying to tell you, let's just blow this taco stand. 104 00:07:52,569 --> 00:07:54,779 Look, let's just let somebody else find this motherfucker. 105 00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:56,072 They ain't gonna know it was us. 106 00:07:56,156 --> 00:07:59,909 I was the last one seen in here. They could trace this guy to me. 107 00:08:00,952 --> 00:08:03,413 Okay, then I will bounce. 108 00:08:03,496 --> 00:08:05,790 You were the one that killed him! 109 00:08:05,873 --> 00:08:09,502 I was just supposed to let him strangle you to death? 110 00:08:09,586 --> 00:08:11,463 Did I need to say "to death"? 111 00:08:11,546 --> 00:08:16,092 Was I just supposed to let him strangle you? To death? 112 00:08:16,176 --> 00:08:19,346 - Either way... You are welcome. - Okay. 113 00:08:19,429 --> 00:08:20,722 And I'm gonna go. 114 00:08:20,805 --> 00:08:23,641 Wait! 115 00:08:23,725 --> 00:08:25,310 Shit! 116 00:08:26,644 --> 00:08:29,356 It's got to be a phone. 117 00:08:29,439 --> 00:08:30,690 Vause, I got three letters for you. 118 00:08:30,773 --> 00:08:34,444 You mention the fucking NSA and I swear to Christ... 119 00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:37,530 Check his boot. They don't let guards have phones. 120 00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:40,783 Now he's texting. 121 00:08:43,119 --> 00:08:45,689 Cover that. Cover that, cover that. "Kubra." 122 00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:46,497 STATUS UPDATE? 123 00:08:46,498 --> 00:08:47,540 Fuck! 124 00:08:49,532 --> 00:08:50,417 - STATUS UPDATE? - ALL GOOD. 125 00:08:50,418 --> 00:08:51,544 What's that? 126 00:08:51,628 --> 00:08:52,879 Emoji. 127 00:08:52,962 --> 00:08:54,547 They got more of those? 128 00:08:54,631 --> 00:08:56,841 Yeah. I mean, there's all kinds. 129 00:08:56,924 --> 00:08:59,051 Oh, I like the kitty with the heart eyes. 130 00:09:00,094 --> 00:09:02,305 And the alien. 131 00:09:02,389 --> 00:09:04,098 But that's not how aliens really look. 132 00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:08,468 WHERE'S MY PIC? 133 00:09:10,397 --> 00:09:12,440 Okay, well, I can stay for a while. 134 00:09:12,524 --> 00:09:13,691 This shit is heavy. 135 00:09:13,775 --> 00:09:16,278 Is anyone else's helmet fogging up when he breathes? 136 00:09:16,361 --> 00:09:17,862 How do you not make it fog up? 137 00:09:17,945 --> 00:09:21,699 I'm breathing out of my mouth in, like, a downward direction, blowing down. 138 00:09:21,783 --> 00:09:23,493 In through my nose and out through my mouth. 139 00:09:23,576 --> 00:09:25,537 Oh, shit, every time I talk it fogs up! 140 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:28,164 I'm taking this damn thing off. 141 00:09:34,296 --> 00:09:35,672 Let's move! 142 00:10:04,576 --> 00:10:06,286 Feel that? 143 00:10:06,369 --> 00:10:09,622 Now, that's definitely my softest part. 144 00:10:10,915 --> 00:10:13,418 That is really soft. 145 00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:16,879 It's like cocoa butter there. 146 00:10:16,963 --> 00:10:19,048 Oh... feel my earlobe. 147 00:10:21,843 --> 00:10:25,096 - It's lumpy in the middle. - I... I had my ears pierced. 148 00:10:25,179 --> 00:10:28,391 But the skin is still really soft on top and around the edge. 149 00:10:28,475 --> 00:10:31,761 Like, super-soft. 150 00:10:38,318 --> 00:10:40,111 Back, back, back, back, back. Now, let's go. 151 00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:42,697 Move 'em up, move 'em up, move 'em up. Let's go! 152 00:10:43,823 --> 00:10:45,575 Let's go back. 153 00:10:45,658 --> 00:10:48,328 Where are you going? 154 00:10:48,411 --> 00:10:50,955 Back to camp. We have to go. They said. 155 00:10:51,038 --> 00:10:52,915 Wait. Why? 156 00:10:52,999 --> 00:10:54,834 - Because we're prisoners? - Damn it. Hey! 157 00:10:54,917 --> 00:10:56,544 But why? 158 00:10:56,628 --> 00:10:58,421 Because someone said so? 159 00:10:59,255 --> 00:11:02,216 - I took a plea deal. - Everybodymakes mistakes. I... 160 00:11:03,926 --> 00:11:06,053 Why do we have to sit in a box to pay for it? 161 00:11:07,930 --> 00:11:09,682 I didn't hurt anyone. 162 00:11:09,766 --> 00:11:12,435 Yeah, but dinner is at 4:45. 163 00:11:14,479 --> 00:11:16,147 And I did hurt someone. 164 00:11:16,981 --> 00:11:20,652 You wrote Time Hump. We can make our own reality. 165 00:11:25,197 --> 00:11:27,158 I don't understand what you're saying. 166 00:11:27,241 --> 00:11:29,536 I'm saying... 167 00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:38,169 we don't go back. 168 00:11:43,257 --> 00:11:44,467 Are you taking it from below? 169 00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:47,053 Yeah. It's gonna look great. You look totally bloated. 170 00:11:47,136 --> 00:11:48,971 He wouldn't take it from below. 171 00:11:49,055 --> 00:11:52,308 Would you stop moving your lips and let me do my job?! 172 00:11:52,391 --> 00:11:54,101 You just got to lie there and play dead. 173 00:11:54,185 --> 00:11:56,145 Act like you're having sex with a ugly dude. 174 00:11:56,798 --> 00:11:57,730 Have you ever had sex with a dude? 175 00:11:57,814 --> 00:11:59,315 Just take the fucking shot! 176 00:11:59,398 --> 00:12:02,026 All inmates are to report to the cafeteria. 177 00:12:02,109 --> 00:12:03,861 No one is to return to the dorms. 178 00:12:05,738 --> 00:12:07,824 It doesn't matter whether you are wet or dry. 179 00:12:07,907 --> 00:12:09,992 No one is to return to the dorms. 180 00:12:10,076 --> 00:12:11,703 - Everyone is to report to the cafeteria... - Shit. Hurry. 181 00:12:11,786 --> 00:12:13,079 - All right, all right, all right. - ...immediately. 182 00:12:13,162 --> 00:12:14,539 - There. - Yeah? 183 00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:16,708 It's good. 184 00:12:16,791 --> 00:12:18,918 - All right, I'm sending it. - We better show up. 185 00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:20,294 Okay. 186 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:22,839 All right. 187 00:12:22,922 --> 00:12:24,256 Oh, fuck. 188 00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:26,759 Maybe if we... roll him into the corner for now, 189 00:12:26,843 --> 00:12:30,387 and cover him with a tarp or something, we could come back later and bury him. 190 00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:32,306 Oh, where the fuck we gonna do that? 191 00:12:32,389 --> 00:12:34,183 We figure it out! Work with me! 192 00:12:34,266 --> 00:12:36,853 We need to get out of here and get punished for swimming in a lake 193 00:12:36,936 --> 00:12:39,438 before we get caught and punished for killing a fucking guard. 194 00:12:39,522 --> 00:12:42,316 Okay! Yes, yes. Okay, let's do it. 195 00:12:44,193 --> 00:12:46,028 One, two... 196 00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:48,647 Oh, God! 197 00:12:50,617 --> 00:12:52,577 Okay, hold on. Here. 198 00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:02,086 Cover his fuckin' feet. 199 00:13:02,169 --> 00:13:03,755 Hey... your pocket's glowing there, slick. 200 00:13:03,838 --> 00:13:05,006 You might wanna put that somewhere else. 201 00:13:08,425 --> 00:13:11,846 Jesus. Fucking sick motherfuck. 202 00:13:11,929 --> 00:13:15,683 What? I can't believe he didn't buy that. You looked totally dead. 203 00:13:16,989 --> 00:13:19,607 SHOW ME THE TITS 204 00:13:19,807 --> 00:13:22,081 Well, guess who's back on the ground? 205 00:13:22,565 --> 00:13:26,986 Come on! Shirt up, bra down, floobies out, face slack. 206 00:13:27,069 --> 00:13:29,906 Dead girl porn. Cosby dream shot. 207 00:13:29,989 --> 00:13:32,534 Do it! Let's go! 208 00:13:32,617 --> 00:13:34,326 Girl, didn't you hear that? 209 00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:35,953 Anybody seen Crazy? 210 00:13:36,037 --> 00:13:37,997 Not since her and her cuckoo compadre 211 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,709 stepped on my sandcastle. I know they didn't mean to, but still. 212 00:13:41,793 --> 00:13:43,545 - What did you say? - I said, "Run, 213 00:13:43,628 --> 00:13:44,837 because if I catch you, I'll kill you." 214 00:13:44,921 --> 00:13:46,005 And they ran? 215 00:13:46,088 --> 00:13:47,965 - Bet your ass, they ran. - Shit. 216 00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:51,636 Ran? They skipped. Laughing. She didn't scare them. 217 00:13:51,719 --> 00:13:53,805 Oh, no? They were having fun. 218 00:13:53,888 --> 00:13:55,973 But it still don't answer where they gone. 219 00:13:56,057 --> 00:13:57,308 Have you two seen 'em anywhere? 220 00:13:57,391 --> 00:13:58,434 - Nope. - No. 221 00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:00,477 Man, now I'm startin' to worry. 222 00:14:00,562 --> 00:14:03,105 Hey, how come you two ain't wet? 223 00:14:03,189 --> 00:14:04,273 You ain't wet. 224 00:14:04,356 --> 00:14:06,442 Hey, less talk, more walk, inmate. 225 00:14:06,525 --> 00:14:08,485 Did you just push her? 226 00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:11,614 Officer, what's your name? I haven't seen you before. 227 00:14:11,698 --> 00:14:13,950 Inmate, I'm from Max, where there's order. 228 00:14:14,033 --> 00:14:16,410 You wanna come live in my house? Keep asking questions. 229 00:14:16,493 --> 00:14:19,246 Now, walk! Eyes forward, mouths shut. 230 00:14:21,999 --> 00:14:23,876 Motherfucker. 231 00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:32,176 Are they, like, on a tour? 232 00:14:32,259 --> 00:14:34,428 Tourists don't have pillows and blankets. 233 00:14:35,387 --> 00:14:37,599 Overcrowding is dangerous. 234 00:14:37,682 --> 00:14:40,476 We're already fighting over resources. 235 00:14:41,352 --> 00:14:46,357 Well... think of it as a mandala... of pussy. 236 00:15:07,712 --> 00:15:09,839 - I got 217. - 229. 237 00:15:09,922 --> 00:15:11,758 I got 226 inmates, sir. 238 00:15:11,841 --> 00:15:16,262 - Okay, I've... two, three, four, five... - Again. 239 00:15:16,345 --> 00:15:17,554 Count them again. 240 00:15:17,639 --> 00:15:21,183 And where are my printouts? With the name and ID numbers on 'em. 241 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:25,062 The printer was out of ink, so Luschek is gonna fix it. 242 00:15:53,049 --> 00:15:54,175 Luschek? 243 00:15:54,258 --> 00:15:57,303 How long does it take you to change the ink 244 00:15:57,386 --> 00:15:59,388 and print out some goddamn papers?! 245 00:15:59,471 --> 00:16:01,182 Hello? Are you there? 246 00:16:01,265 --> 00:16:02,850 Yeah, they're printing. 247 00:16:02,934 --> 00:16:04,601 I'll be there as soon as they're done printing. 248 00:16:04,686 --> 00:16:06,353 That's about the best I can do. 249 00:16:07,521 --> 00:16:08,690 You're a moron. 250 00:16:08,773 --> 00:16:11,693 Yeah, I love you, too. Kisses. 251 00:16:11,776 --> 00:16:13,069 Dick. 252 00:16:34,173 --> 00:16:36,801 And they say the art of gift-giving is dead. 253 00:16:41,848 --> 00:16:46,811 Listen... if we don't get in there, no one eats. 254 00:16:46,894 --> 00:16:50,272 Then no one eats. Maybe that's appropriate. 255 00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:52,649 You break the rules, you don't get your supper. 256 00:16:52,734 --> 00:16:56,153 Oh, this is ridiculous! I'm going to speak to Caputo. 257 00:16:56,278 --> 00:16:57,279 Caputo! 258 00:16:57,363 --> 00:16:59,073 Hold it. 259 00:16:59,156 --> 00:17:00,282 What's going on? 260 00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:02,659 Nothing that you should concern yourself with, sir. 261 00:17:02,744 --> 00:17:04,912 My job is to make certain the path is clear 262 00:17:04,996 --> 00:17:08,708 so you can do your job without hindrance. We got this under control. 263 00:17:08,791 --> 00:17:10,918 - Yeah? - Yes, sir. 264 00:17:15,339 --> 00:17:17,258 - What's your name again? - Piscatella, sir. 265 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,426 Desi Piscatella. 266 00:17:20,302 --> 00:17:21,387 All right. 267 00:17:22,863 --> 00:17:23,429 Good work. 268 00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:24,766 Thank you, sir. 269 00:17:25,307 --> 00:17:26,934 Hey. 270 00:17:27,018 --> 00:17:29,395 You any relation to Daniella Picatelli? 271 00:17:30,354 --> 00:17:32,439 No, it's Piscatella, sir. 272 00:17:32,523 --> 00:17:34,150 - Piscatella. - With an "S". 273 00:17:34,233 --> 00:17:35,609 Ah, gotcha. 274 00:17:35,692 --> 00:17:39,196 'Cause Daniella was... you know, very, very tall. 275 00:17:40,072 --> 00:17:43,409 Anyway. Okay. Piscatella with an "S", good work. 276 00:17:43,492 --> 00:17:45,327 - Caputo! - Hey! 277 00:17:45,411 --> 00:17:47,496 All right, troops. 278 00:17:47,579 --> 00:17:49,916 - Let's scramble it up again. - Let's go, come on. 279 00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:51,167 I think we're good here. 280 00:17:52,459 --> 00:17:53,710 Isn't that right, inmate? 281 00:17:53,795 --> 00:17:58,465 Just ducky, Officer Piscatella with an "S". 282 00:18:03,554 --> 00:18:05,181 Okay, so if they're not making dinner, 283 00:18:05,264 --> 00:18:07,433 can we just go back to our rooms and get our candy and stuff? 284 00:18:07,516 --> 00:18:10,102 'Cause I got low blood pressure and I'm gonna pass out. 285 00:18:10,186 --> 00:18:12,521 I gotta get out of these wet clothes first. 286 00:18:12,604 --> 00:18:14,205 Ai! I got enough yeast... 287 00:18:14,206 --> 00:18:15,990 ...in my vagina to make a bread starter. 288 00:18:16,192 --> 00:18:17,734 That was very vivid. 289 00:18:17,819 --> 00:18:19,070 I'm very damp. 290 00:18:19,153 --> 00:18:21,072 Yeah, well, who knows what's gonna be what 291 00:18:21,155 --> 00:18:22,739 in the dorms by the time we get back in there. 292 00:18:22,824 --> 00:18:24,200 What are you talking about? 293 00:18:24,283 --> 00:18:26,285 It's sardine time, bitches. 294 00:18:26,368 --> 00:18:28,537 We a for-profit prison now. 295 00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:31,165 We ain't people no more. We bulk items. 296 00:18:31,913 --> 00:18:33,918 Can you check to see if I'm bleeding through my pants? 297 00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:35,086 Sí, puchi. 298 00:18:35,169 --> 00:18:36,670 Guard? Guard! 299 00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:40,382 She needs to change her pad and her pants. 300 00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:43,094 She's bleedin' real bad from the baby she just had. Show him. 301 00:18:43,177 --> 00:18:46,763 Oh, God. That... that is disgusting. That is so disgusting. 302 00:18:46,848 --> 00:18:49,475 No, you know what's disgusting? What's happening here. 303 00:18:49,558 --> 00:18:50,601 What you gonna do for her? 304 00:18:50,684 --> 00:18:52,103 No one's allowed to leave the room. 305 00:18:52,186 --> 00:18:55,356 So we're gonna ask you again. What are you gonna do for her? 306 00:18:56,357 --> 00:18:58,192 Come on! Think! 307 00:18:59,526 --> 00:19:00,694 Really?! 308 00:19:00,777 --> 00:19:02,446 Are we not talking English? 309 00:19:02,529 --> 00:19:04,656 So I'm a married lady. 310 00:19:04,740 --> 00:19:06,868 And you actually did it? 311 00:19:06,951 --> 00:19:09,829 I've still got his sperms inside of me and everything. 312 00:19:09,912 --> 00:19:12,039 Really didn't need that level of detail. 313 00:19:12,123 --> 00:19:13,790 But you missed the lake. 314 00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:15,209 But I got married. 315 00:19:15,292 --> 00:19:16,710 Yeah, but it was fun. 316 00:19:16,793 --> 00:19:19,296 I was on Big Boo's shoulders and we were winning with chicken. 317 00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:21,007 No way! 318 00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:24,093 Excuse me, I got married. I had intercourse. 319 00:19:24,176 --> 00:19:27,054 With a man who is now my husband. 320 00:19:27,138 --> 00:19:28,973 My day was better than yours. 321 00:19:29,056 --> 00:19:32,101 My day was better than everyone's. 322 00:19:32,809 --> 00:19:34,728 Today is my wedding day. 323 00:19:34,811 --> 00:19:36,313 Anita built a sand castle. 324 00:19:36,397 --> 00:19:38,274 Crazy Eyes found a turtle. 325 00:19:38,357 --> 00:19:40,276 You're all a bunch of assholes. 326 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,486 I feel like we all married the lake. 327 00:19:42,569 --> 00:19:44,363 - Don't you, ladies? - Absolutely. 328 00:19:44,446 --> 00:19:46,115 We're forever changed. 329 00:19:46,198 --> 00:19:48,259 I still have lake water running down my leg. 330 00:19:50,411 --> 00:19:52,038 Fuckin' bitches is what you are. 331 00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:53,497 - I need this. - Are you hearing me? 332 00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:55,666 What? What is going on? Are you seeing this? 333 00:19:55,749 --> 00:19:57,376 Hey, man, bring that back. She got married today. 334 00:19:57,459 --> 00:20:00,504 I need it. Sorry. And, it's unapproved. 335 00:20:01,463 --> 00:20:04,258 Morello, don't worry, he can't help himself. 336 00:20:04,341 --> 00:20:06,843 For your information, there's bleeding happening 337 00:20:06,928 --> 00:20:09,805 and I'm helping to absorb it. With this. So... 338 00:20:09,889 --> 00:20:12,558 There are napkin dispensers behind the food service counter. 339 00:20:12,641 --> 00:20:13,893 Can she please have her veil back? 340 00:20:13,976 --> 00:20:16,187 No, it's still an infraction. 341 00:20:23,027 --> 00:20:26,572 So it sounds like the lake was really fun, huh? 342 00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:31,243 Well, actually... I'm not sure how clean that water was... 343 00:20:31,327 --> 00:20:33,495 'cause I'm starting to get a gnarly itch on my thighs. 344 00:20:33,579 --> 00:20:34,746 Me too. 345 00:20:35,664 --> 00:20:37,374 I'll scratch yours if you scratch mine. 346 00:20:37,458 --> 00:20:39,418 But you bite your nails. 347 00:20:39,501 --> 00:20:40,836 I wanna hear about the fuckin'. 348 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,213 He got a big dick? 349 00:20:42,296 --> 00:20:45,967 Well, Italian don't rhyme with stallion for nothing. 350 00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:48,469 Although, I have always been very tight. 351 00:20:48,552 --> 00:20:50,179 I mean, even when I was doing it 352 00:20:50,262 --> 00:20:52,848 semi-regular with a guy who used to put his shoe up there... 353 00:20:52,932 --> 00:20:54,641 Excuse me? 354 00:20:54,725 --> 00:20:56,435 Oh, it wasn't the shoe that he wore on his foot. 355 00:20:56,518 --> 00:21:00,272 It was a new shoe. We called it our "special doin' it shoe." 356 00:21:00,356 --> 00:21:04,318 It was a loafer. We was in Catholic school. 357 00:21:05,819 --> 00:21:09,365 Anyway, even then it would just snap right back, you know. Just Kegel. 358 00:21:09,448 --> 00:21:12,201 Again, heavy on the detail. Less is more. 359 00:21:12,284 --> 00:21:15,871 Oh, Boo Boo, you're such a prude today. 360 00:21:15,955 --> 00:21:18,624 Let me tell you about the vows. 361 00:21:18,707 --> 00:21:21,168 Who likes the band Foreigner? 362 00:21:21,252 --> 00:21:22,336 Yo. 363 00:21:22,419 --> 00:21:25,881 She did not drown. She ran off with that turtle girl. 364 00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:29,468 Man, you see? Hanging around white folks is a bad idea. 365 00:21:30,409 --> 00:21:31,178 I'm not white. 366 00:21:31,262 --> 00:21:32,429 Yeah, but you ain't brown. 367 00:21:32,513 --> 00:21:34,181 And you ain't shit. Racist. 368 00:21:34,265 --> 00:21:37,726 Black people can't be racist. We have no power. 369 00:21:37,809 --> 00:21:39,186 I'm gonna have to call bullshit on that. 370 00:21:39,270 --> 00:21:42,023 I'm sorry, look, we may not be able to act on our racism, 371 00:21:42,106 --> 00:21:46,360 like, put people in a ghetto, send them to shitty school... 372 00:21:46,443 --> 00:21:48,237 kill 'em in the back of police vans. 373 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:52,908 But we sure as shit can be as racist as everybody else, 'cause this is America. 374 00:21:52,992 --> 00:21:56,996 - Land of the free, home of the racist. - Right. 375 00:21:57,079 --> 00:21:59,456 Yo, is anybody worried that Suzanne is AWOL? 376 00:21:59,540 --> 00:22:03,794 Yeah, we're all worried. But we're stuck. And we're all moist and uncomfortable... 377 00:22:03,877 --> 00:22:05,629 And I'm mostly dry. 378 00:22:05,712 --> 00:22:06,838 Damp. Is that better? 379 00:22:06,922 --> 00:22:09,508 Is moist, like, some kind of trigger word for you? 380 00:22:09,591 --> 00:22:12,674 - What did you say? - Trigger, man. She said trigger. 381 00:22:13,054 --> 00:22:16,390 - She said "nigger"... - Come on, now. Don't even. 382 00:22:16,473 --> 00:22:19,851 Hey! What? I'm bored! Can't we have a race war? It'll be fun! 383 00:22:19,935 --> 00:22:21,562 We have to get back out there. 384 00:22:21,645 --> 00:22:24,856 What's your friend's name again? Spout? Cylinder? 385 00:22:24,940 --> 00:22:26,608 - What? - Piper? 386 00:22:26,692 --> 00:22:29,820 Yeah. Why do I have a block on that stupid... 387 00:22:29,903 --> 00:22:31,072 - Piper! - No! Why? 388 00:22:31,155 --> 00:22:32,781 - Jesus. Stop! - What? 389 00:22:32,864 --> 00:22:36,243 I have a cell phone between my tits and keys in my twat. 390 00:22:36,327 --> 00:22:38,495 And you just killed someone. 391 00:22:38,579 --> 00:22:40,456 You think now is really the best time to socialize? 392 00:22:40,539 --> 00:22:42,749 Were you at the lake, too? 393 00:22:42,833 --> 00:22:44,168 Nobody told me it was happening. 394 00:22:44,251 --> 00:22:46,378 Do I look wet to you? 395 00:22:46,462 --> 00:22:48,797 As a matter of fact, we did go to the lake. 396 00:22:50,757 --> 00:22:53,427 - It was delightful. - Yep. 397 00:22:53,510 --> 00:22:55,137 What is going on with you? 398 00:22:55,221 --> 00:22:56,805 She just got too much sun, she's fine. 399 00:22:56,888 --> 00:22:59,100 Listen, look over there. 400 00:23:00,101 --> 00:23:02,394 Look, please. Piper. 401 00:23:02,478 --> 00:23:06,190 I know. I know. This can't be good. 402 00:23:06,273 --> 00:23:08,609 Where is everybody gonna fit? 403 00:23:08,692 --> 00:23:10,361 No, no, no, no, no, no. 404 00:23:10,444 --> 00:23:13,989 Remember, on the plane to Chicago? That girl, she fell asleep on me? 405 00:23:14,072 --> 00:23:16,325 She was scared to fly. 406 00:23:16,408 --> 00:23:18,660 - We stole her apple. - Vaguely. 407 00:23:18,744 --> 00:23:21,497 - Okay, I think that's her. - I guess? 408 00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:25,684 No, that's her. I remember her face, 'cause she fell asleep on me. 409 00:23:26,793 --> 00:23:28,504 Cool. Alex? 410 00:23:28,587 --> 00:23:31,548 I can't talk to you right now, Piper. I can't. 411 00:23:31,632 --> 00:23:34,301 All I wanna do is get out of here and, you know, like, take a walk. 412 00:23:34,385 --> 00:23:36,553 And I can't do that. 413 00:23:36,637 --> 00:23:38,847 So I'm feeling very frustrated. 414 00:23:38,930 --> 00:23:42,643 I hear you. You got a taste. You want more. See, I didn't. 415 00:23:42,726 --> 00:23:45,937 I was inside while everybody else was outside at the lake. 416 00:23:46,021 --> 00:23:47,356 Having fun. 417 00:23:48,607 --> 00:23:51,360 Yeah, I'm gonna need you to piss off right now. 418 00:23:51,443 --> 00:23:53,237 You shouldn't talk to me like that. 419 00:23:54,196 --> 00:23:58,325 If you haven't heard yet, you will. I am a force to be reckoned with. 420 00:23:59,075 --> 00:24:00,202 Okay. 421 00:24:00,994 --> 00:24:03,330 I'm gonna finish my book. 422 00:24:05,582 --> 00:24:06,917 Nick Hornby. 423 00:24:08,419 --> 00:24:10,003 I liked High Fidelity. 424 00:24:16,093 --> 00:24:17,178 Oh, a teardrop? 425 00:24:17,261 --> 00:24:19,721 - It's on the wrong side. - What are you talking about? 426 00:24:19,805 --> 00:24:21,890 - Are they even tattoos? - They're make-up. 427 00:24:21,973 --> 00:24:24,310 So they're for, like, decoration? 428 00:24:25,143 --> 00:24:27,438 - That's so cute. - It's my thing. 429 00:24:28,522 --> 00:24:30,649 Well, where I'm from, it means something. 430 00:24:30,732 --> 00:24:32,108 What, like, you killed somebody? 431 00:24:32,193 --> 00:24:33,860 - No. - No? 432 00:24:34,986 --> 00:24:38,199 No, I killed three somebodies. 433 00:24:38,282 --> 00:24:40,201 Nobodies. 434 00:24:40,284 --> 00:24:43,995 Then I get popped for fucking WIC fraud. You believe that shit? 435 00:24:44,079 --> 00:24:46,623 Anyhow, eyeliner girl... 436 00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:51,753 - who's runnin' the game in here? - The game? 437 00:24:51,837 --> 00:24:54,423 Oh, come on. Don't hold out on me. 438 00:24:54,506 --> 00:24:55,716 We're friends now. 439 00:24:55,799 --> 00:24:58,427 We both love to cry in black. 440 00:24:58,510 --> 00:25:00,679 So? 441 00:25:00,762 --> 00:25:02,514 Who's la jefa? 442 00:25:07,686 --> 00:25:09,145 That one. 443 00:25:09,230 --> 00:25:12,566 Over there. The white girl. 444 00:25:12,649 --> 00:25:14,526 The reader. 445 00:25:14,610 --> 00:25:16,403 You serious? 446 00:25:16,487 --> 00:25:19,615 Cold like a Bomb Pop from way back of the freezer. 447 00:25:19,698 --> 00:25:24,077 She may look all la, la, la... but she the one. 448 00:25:28,123 --> 00:25:29,458 Interesting. 449 00:25:35,088 --> 00:25:36,840 It's a gingerbread house. 450 00:25:36,923 --> 00:25:39,718 - No. - It's like Berdie says! 451 00:25:39,801 --> 00:25:43,639 - Always say yes. "Yes, and..." - Oh, yes. 452 00:25:43,722 --> 00:25:49,478 Yes, and... it tastes so delicious. 453 00:26:02,616 --> 00:26:05,536 Whatever paint is left on this, is definitely lead-based. 454 00:26:05,619 --> 00:26:08,722 Lead-based and rotten wood and... 455 00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,477 and fungus. 456 00:26:14,295 --> 00:26:15,337 Did I just bite a termite? 457 00:26:15,421 --> 00:26:18,173 - Maybe it's a big piece of ginger. - No, stop. 458 00:26:18,256 --> 00:26:19,966 Stop, time-out. 459 00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:21,176 Do you think there's any water around here? 460 00:26:21,259 --> 00:26:23,429 There's no time-outs. 461 00:26:23,512 --> 00:26:26,139 Your brain can imagine anything. 462 00:26:26,222 --> 00:26:29,726 It made Time Hump. Right? 463 00:26:29,810 --> 00:26:32,729 It's magical. It is special. It's... 464 00:26:32,813 --> 00:26:35,023 But my tongue can't eat anything, 465 00:26:35,106 --> 00:26:39,235 and you have got to stop with this Time Hump thing. 466 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,405 It's over. Okay? 467 00:26:42,155 --> 00:26:43,615 Plus, it's gonna get dark soon. 468 00:26:43,699 --> 00:26:46,702 But I love Time Hump. 469 00:26:46,785 --> 00:26:48,662 You got to do more stories. 470 00:26:48,745 --> 00:26:54,793 Maybe... the gingerbread tastes weird because there's a spell on it. 471 00:26:57,253 --> 00:26:58,755 What happens next? 472 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,049 I'm not sure. 473 00:27:01,132 --> 00:27:02,509 Take a minute. 474 00:27:03,427 --> 00:27:07,097 Let the... story hula-hoop around your brain hips. 475 00:27:08,181 --> 00:27:11,768 We've got time. We are never going back. 476 00:27:12,769 --> 00:27:14,187 What? 477 00:27:14,270 --> 00:27:17,649 We can live here forever. We found a house. We can live in it. 478 00:27:19,067 --> 00:27:20,569 You can read me stories. 479 00:27:21,778 --> 00:27:24,948 And we can eat... raccoon meat and berries, and we could... 480 00:27:25,031 --> 00:27:28,369 - we could make love! - I really made a big mistake. 481 00:27:28,452 --> 00:27:30,579 What are you doing? 482 00:27:32,998 --> 00:27:34,766 There is... 483 00:27:36,084 --> 00:27:38,294 a witch inside that house. 484 00:27:39,546 --> 00:27:41,840 And... she wants to eat us. 485 00:27:41,923 --> 00:27:43,258 Then we kill the witch. 486 00:27:43,341 --> 00:27:45,010 Maybe we take out her intestines 487 00:27:45,093 --> 00:27:49,681 with a pitchfork fashioned from wolves' teeth. 488 00:27:49,765 --> 00:27:53,727 I don't wanna do this anymore! 489 00:27:54,770 --> 00:27:56,480 I'll wait. 490 00:27:56,563 --> 00:27:58,399 How many are we missing? 491 00:27:58,482 --> 00:28:01,735 I'm gonna say at least two, but no more than 11. 492 00:28:01,818 --> 00:28:03,236 It might be 12. 493 00:28:03,319 --> 00:28:04,946 We're still getting different numbers, sir. 494 00:28:05,030 --> 00:28:07,741 And we still don't have the goddamn rosters. 495 00:28:07,824 --> 00:28:10,201 This is ridiculous. 496 00:28:10,285 --> 00:28:12,162 All right. This is what we're gonna do. 497 00:28:12,245 --> 00:28:14,706 All the original inmates, they go back to their bunks. 498 00:28:14,790 --> 00:28:16,332 We do a regular count, bed by bed. 499 00:28:16,417 --> 00:28:18,001 And the newbies? 500 00:28:21,218 --> 00:28:22,589 They wait. 501 00:28:22,673 --> 00:28:25,091 Bayley, Thorpe, you come walk the perimeter with me. 502 00:28:25,175 --> 00:28:27,511 See if we find some stragglers. Let's go, let's go. 503 00:28:29,765 --> 00:28:30,806 What is it, Luschek? 504 00:28:30,889 --> 00:28:32,766 You might wanna come to the mail room. 505 00:28:32,849 --> 00:28:35,143 Yeah? And you might wanna suck my dick. 506 00:28:35,226 --> 00:28:38,313 Fucking incompetent. I'll deal with you later. 507 00:28:40,106 --> 00:28:41,400 I don't wanna suck his dick. 508 00:28:41,483 --> 00:28:43,694 This is really some kind of shit-show, huh? 509 00:28:44,277 --> 00:28:47,531 To be fair, you've come on a particularly crazy day. 510 00:28:48,364 --> 00:28:50,784 But also... yes. 511 00:28:50,867 --> 00:28:52,453 I'm taking you home. 512 00:28:52,536 --> 00:28:53,662 Oh, and then what? 513 00:28:53,745 --> 00:28:56,540 "Judy King skips out on prison." They will crucify me. 514 00:28:56,623 --> 00:28:57,708 So we sit here? 515 00:28:57,791 --> 00:29:01,044 Yes, we sit. With Mr. Luschek. 516 00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:06,007 Actually, I should probably take these papers over there. 517 00:29:06,091 --> 00:29:07,693 You guys mind going back into the lobby? 518 00:29:08,844 --> 00:29:11,722 - Are you serious? You cannot be serious... - I... No, Bill. Calm down. 519 00:29:11,805 --> 00:29:13,765 - Hey, I really... I gotta... - No. Really. 520 00:29:13,849 --> 00:29:14,891 What is it? 521 00:29:14,975 --> 00:29:18,687 I know you don't give a fig about those papers, so, what? 522 00:29:18,770 --> 00:29:20,146 Is this your smoke break? 523 00:29:20,230 --> 00:29:22,733 Smoking is disgusting. 524 00:29:23,533 --> 00:29:25,611 I was gonna go take a nap. 525 00:29:25,694 --> 00:29:26,945 What is the matter with you? 526 00:29:27,028 --> 00:29:30,031 - I think he's funny. - Thank you. 527 00:29:30,115 --> 00:29:31,867 None of this is funny, Judith. 528 00:29:32,712 --> 00:29:35,954 We have entered the "Judith" zone. - 529 00:29:37,539 --> 00:29:39,750 Bill, I think it's time. 530 00:29:39,833 --> 00:29:42,919 So, you wanna sit alone in the lobby? 531 00:29:43,003 --> 00:29:46,757 Well, if you go... she can stay in here. 532 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,926 - I'll hang out. - Now you hear that? He'll hang out. 533 00:29:50,010 --> 00:29:52,137 So I'm being dismissed? 534 00:29:52,220 --> 00:29:55,015 I'm in prison now. It's hardened me. 535 00:29:55,098 --> 00:29:56,975 Nothing new about that, Mrs. King. 536 00:29:57,058 --> 00:30:00,103 Well, don't I know that, Mr. Montgomery. 537 00:30:00,186 --> 00:30:02,648 Go home. Go visit my husband. 538 00:30:02,731 --> 00:30:05,526 He's probably more upset about this than the two of us put together. 539 00:30:06,985 --> 00:30:08,945 - This isn't your husband? - No, he's the boyfriend. 540 00:30:11,114 --> 00:30:14,785 - Look at you. - Well, just don't look too close, darlin'. 541 00:30:15,994 --> 00:30:19,998 Look at this. Sealed tight. That was fast. 542 00:30:24,961 --> 00:30:27,673 Fuck. I'm sorry I'm so late. 543 00:30:27,756 --> 00:30:30,592 Please let me back in the prison! 544 00:30:31,405 --> 00:30:32,819 Jesus Christ. 545 00:30:34,012 --> 00:30:35,847 Thorpe, go get some wire cutters. 546 00:30:35,931 --> 00:30:38,224 Oh, thank you, Mr. Caputo. Thank you. 547 00:30:38,308 --> 00:30:42,270 No, she wanted the fairy tale. I didn't. I just wanted dinner. 548 00:30:42,353 --> 00:30:44,439 "She"? Who's "she"? 549 00:30:46,107 --> 00:30:48,318 Keep the volume down. 550 00:30:48,401 --> 00:30:51,446 For now, stay at the front of your cube for count. 551 00:30:51,530 --> 00:30:53,907 Do not enter your cube. Do not change your clothing. 552 00:30:53,990 --> 00:30:58,704 Do not touch your personal effects. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. 553 00:30:58,787 --> 00:31:01,164 That is an order. Is that clear? 554 00:31:04,375 --> 00:31:07,462 - Jeez, stop! - I said, is that clear? 555 00:31:08,714 --> 00:31:10,841 Stand in your doorways now. 556 00:31:12,217 --> 00:31:13,552 Inmate Whitehill. 557 00:31:14,469 --> 00:31:16,054 I see you're flying solo this evening. 558 00:31:16,722 --> 00:31:17,931 I don't know. 559 00:31:18,932 --> 00:31:20,350 Who is your roommate? 560 00:31:20,433 --> 00:31:24,145 We're not really friends. She might be working for the other side. 561 00:31:24,229 --> 00:31:26,439 Not that she's a murderer... Well, she could be. 562 00:31:26,522 --> 00:31:28,441 Who can you really trust these days, you know? 563 00:31:28,524 --> 00:31:32,821 Kukudio is missing. And Whitehill's a little unique. 564 00:31:32,904 --> 00:31:34,489 Can you spell that? 565 00:31:34,573 --> 00:31:40,662 K-U-K-U-D-I-O. Could be K-U-C-K. 566 00:31:40,746 --> 00:31:43,248 I don't think there's a "C" in there. I think it's only the two "K"s. 567 00:31:43,331 --> 00:31:45,333 Yeah, I don't recall asking you. 568 00:31:48,128 --> 00:31:49,462 Inmate Murphy. 569 00:31:51,089 --> 00:31:54,509 Do you corroborate the information Inmate Vause is sharing with me? 570 00:31:55,927 --> 00:31:58,847 I would say that Whitehill is unique. 571 00:31:59,890 --> 00:32:01,725 I'm not sure about the spelling thing. 572 00:32:01,808 --> 00:32:04,185 "You are absolutely unique. 573 00:32:04,269 --> 00:32:05,896 Just like everybody else." Margaret Mead. 574 00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:08,481 Another party heard from. 575 00:32:09,232 --> 00:32:11,860 Maybe it's time to start writing shots. 576 00:32:11,943 --> 00:32:14,613 Okay, looks like everybody's here but Kukudio. 577 00:32:14,696 --> 00:32:16,865 What? 578 00:32:18,199 --> 00:32:20,535 They're left over from when it used to be a men's prison. 579 00:32:20,619 --> 00:32:22,495 There's a bunch of them back here. 580 00:32:22,578 --> 00:32:25,206 The guards could live on campus back then. 581 00:32:25,290 --> 00:32:27,125 It was nice. By the lake. 582 00:32:27,913 --> 00:32:29,795 When the lake was still nice. 583 00:32:29,878 --> 00:32:31,880 I had no idea these were even back here. 584 00:32:31,963 --> 00:32:36,009 We used to stay in little cabins like this in the summer, when I was a kid, 585 00:32:36,092 --> 00:32:38,028 before my dad got into dog-dyeing. 586 00:32:41,514 --> 00:32:43,433 You're gonna explain, aren't you? 587 00:32:43,516 --> 00:32:45,811 I mean, only if you want me to. 588 00:32:46,867 --> 00:32:48,396 Go. Quick. 589 00:32:48,579 --> 00:32:53,151 He dyes and grooms dogs, so they look like wild animals. 590 00:32:53,234 --> 00:32:56,279 You know, pandas, zebras, tigers. It's a thing. 591 00:32:57,613 --> 00:32:59,074 I'm sure it is. 592 00:32:59,157 --> 00:33:00,909 - Camels. - We're done now. 593 00:33:00,992 --> 00:33:03,119 Okay. 594 00:33:04,287 --> 00:33:06,998 Come out. We know you're in there. 595 00:33:07,082 --> 00:33:08,959 No, you don't. 596 00:33:10,460 --> 00:33:12,587 We found her. Come and grab. 597 00:33:12,671 --> 00:33:14,547 - Copy that. - Stay here. 598 00:33:14,747 --> 00:33:18,127 T:U:S:U:B:T:I:T:U:L:O:C:O:M: 599 00:33:20,552 --> 00:33:21,137 Hello? 600 00:33:21,221 --> 00:33:22,638 Why haven't you been answering your phone? 601 00:33:22,723 --> 00:33:25,684 I've been calling all day. Do I have your cell? 602 00:33:25,767 --> 00:33:27,894 - My assistant needs your cell. - I... 603 00:33:27,978 --> 00:33:29,020 What a nightmare. 604 00:33:29,104 --> 00:33:31,690 I know, I know, but I'm dealing... 605 00:33:31,773 --> 00:33:33,984 Have you seen her yet? 606 00:33:34,067 --> 00:33:38,238 It was a last-minute switch, but she was processed like everyone else. 607 00:33:38,321 --> 00:33:41,324 I mean, no special treatment... ish. 608 00:33:42,242 --> 00:33:43,869 Who... Who did the strip search? 609 00:33:43,952 --> 00:33:48,164 Oh, Jesus. Did you guys make Judy King do a strip search? 610 00:33:48,248 --> 00:33:51,376 - Judy King? - You gotta stay on top of this, Joe. 611 00:33:51,459 --> 00:33:52,668 No fuck-ups. 612 00:33:52,753 --> 00:33:55,046 The press is gonna be sniffing around. 613 00:33:55,130 --> 00:33:57,632 There's gonna be a magnifying glass on the place, 614 00:33:57,716 --> 00:34:00,551 and I don't wanna see our ants fried. 615 00:34:00,635 --> 00:34:02,553 She's fine, but not too fine, 616 00:34:02,637 --> 00:34:05,348 'cause the public wants to see justice served. 617 00:34:05,431 --> 00:34:09,519 But we are humane to our prisoners, right? 618 00:34:09,602 --> 00:34:12,397 And in the end, we don't wanna piss her off 619 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:16,442 because she's got friends. So thread the needle. 620 00:34:17,861 --> 00:34:19,695 What exactly does that mean? 621 00:34:19,780 --> 00:34:22,991 I don't know. How about don't fuck up? 622 00:34:23,074 --> 00:34:25,786 And goddamn it, you are Director of Human Activity now. 623 00:34:25,869 --> 00:34:28,371 Get a fucking assistant to answer your phones. 624 00:34:29,915 --> 00:34:31,041 Is that in the budget? 625 00:34:31,124 --> 00:34:33,209 No. Make an inmate do it. 626 00:34:38,799 --> 00:34:41,927 Where the fuck is Judy King?! 627 00:34:42,010 --> 00:34:45,721 We all know sex and love are different, especially for men. 628 00:34:45,806 --> 00:34:46,848 See, why do people say that? 629 00:34:46,932 --> 00:34:50,435 Why does everyone assume that men can't form emotional attachments 630 00:34:50,518 --> 00:34:52,062 with sex like women do? 631 00:34:52,145 --> 00:34:54,397 I do. I get attached. 632 00:34:55,273 --> 00:34:57,400 So, I gotta be careful. 633 00:34:57,483 --> 00:34:58,651 That's very sweet. 634 00:34:58,734 --> 00:35:00,528 It's not. It's horrible. 635 00:35:01,321 --> 00:35:02,948 Are you in love right now? 636 00:35:05,141 --> 00:35:07,327 Doesn't anyone know where Judy King is? 637 00:35:07,410 --> 00:35:09,830 How does no one have eyes on this woman? 638 00:35:12,248 --> 00:35:13,249 Party's over. 639 00:35:13,333 --> 00:35:15,168 Pussy. 640 00:35:15,251 --> 00:35:17,003 To be continued, my friend. 641 00:35:17,087 --> 00:35:19,172 We'll see, inmate. 642 00:35:20,090 --> 00:35:21,674 I got her. 643 00:35:21,757 --> 00:35:23,509 Luschek? 644 00:35:23,593 --> 00:35:25,678 Yeah, I tried to tell you. We're in the mail room. 645 00:35:25,761 --> 00:35:27,889 Oh, and the... rosters are ready. 646 00:35:27,973 --> 00:35:29,682 Still want me to suck your dick? 647 00:35:29,765 --> 00:35:31,559 Top left. 648 00:35:32,518 --> 00:35:34,855 Vernay, top right. 649 00:35:35,771 --> 00:35:37,107 Lafolo... 650 00:35:39,317 --> 00:35:40,651 top right. 651 00:35:40,735 --> 00:35:41,736 Washington? 652 00:35:42,737 --> 00:35:44,364 - Hey! - Top left. 653 00:35:45,824 --> 00:35:47,783 Chris, Fitzpatrick. 654 00:35:48,827 --> 00:35:50,286 Jenkins. Move it. 655 00:35:50,370 --> 00:35:51,913 Left bunk two, right bunk three. 656 00:35:51,997 --> 00:35:53,248 Top right. 657 00:35:53,331 --> 00:35:55,500 Smith, Green. 658 00:35:56,751 --> 00:35:58,378 I'm owed an apology. 659 00:35:58,461 --> 00:36:00,213 Bottom left, top right. 660 00:36:00,296 --> 00:36:03,591 Remember, upper hand, right away. 661 00:36:03,674 --> 00:36:04,800 Establish dominance. 662 00:36:04,885 --> 00:36:05,969 Got it. 663 00:36:06,052 --> 00:36:07,803 Hapakuka, Dwight. 664 00:36:11,057 --> 00:36:13,309 You're in here, bottom right, top left. 665 00:36:14,327 --> 00:36:16,479 Kipness, top right. 666 00:36:19,941 --> 00:36:21,651 Stewart, top left. 667 00:36:21,734 --> 00:36:22,818 Top bunk, skinny. 668 00:36:22,903 --> 00:36:24,404 He said bottom right. 669 00:36:24,487 --> 00:36:27,448 Nope, that's my bed. I've been here longer, and I'm not moving. 670 00:36:27,532 --> 00:36:29,200 Do you have a problem with that? 671 00:36:30,076 --> 00:36:31,995 - Well... - Why don't you tell on me? 672 00:36:32,913 --> 00:36:34,539 Everybody around here loves a snitch. 673 00:36:34,622 --> 00:36:37,250 How do I even get up there? I have bad knees. 674 00:36:37,333 --> 00:36:39,294 Do I look like I give a shit? 675 00:36:39,377 --> 00:36:41,254 Well, don't be a monster, Chapman. 676 00:36:41,337 --> 00:36:42,630 She's a big girl. 677 00:36:42,713 --> 00:36:44,215 Give her the bottom bunk? 678 00:36:51,472 --> 00:36:54,100 What happened? Did you hurt yourself? 679 00:36:56,436 --> 00:36:57,437 What's that? 680 00:37:00,065 --> 00:37:01,774 - An eight? - It's infinity. 681 00:37:01,857 --> 00:37:03,693 - It's infected. - Really? 682 00:37:03,776 --> 00:37:06,362 I have some rubbing alcohol. Hold on a minute. 683 00:37:06,446 --> 00:37:08,198 Do you think it looks tough? 684 00:37:08,281 --> 00:37:09,782 I think it looks like an angry eight. 685 00:37:09,865 --> 00:37:11,159 What can I tell you? 686 00:37:15,455 --> 00:37:17,082 King, you're in here. 687 00:37:17,165 --> 00:37:18,666 I have you on top of Washington. 688 00:37:18,749 --> 00:37:20,085 Are you Washington? 689 00:37:22,212 --> 00:37:24,089 Hi, I'm Judy. 690 00:37:28,259 --> 00:37:29,260 Well... Okay, then. 691 00:37:29,344 --> 00:37:31,137 Hold up, uh, Miss King? 692 00:37:31,221 --> 00:37:33,014 Miss King? 693 00:37:33,098 --> 00:37:34,182 Hey, there. 694 00:37:34,265 --> 00:37:36,392 Me again. We met earlier. 695 00:37:36,476 --> 00:37:38,436 - Mr. Caputo. - Right. 696 00:37:38,519 --> 00:37:41,106 Yes. There's been a mistake. 697 00:37:41,189 --> 00:37:43,316 You shouldn't be in the ghet... 698 00:37:43,399 --> 00:37:45,776 Get this, get that. Ge... 699 00:37:46,987 --> 00:37:48,321 You shouldn't be in this dorm. 700 00:37:48,404 --> 00:37:50,198 Taystee! 701 00:37:50,281 --> 00:37:51,824 So, we've assigned you somewhere else. 702 00:37:51,907 --> 00:37:54,535 - Pease come with me. - Oh, well, okay. 703 00:37:54,619 --> 00:37:55,745 Bye. 704 00:37:55,828 --> 00:37:57,830 Wait, what... 705 00:37:59,814 --> 00:38:01,726 Did nobody fuckin' see that? 706 00:38:08,758 --> 00:38:09,925 Shalom. 707 00:38:11,886 --> 00:38:14,514 Assalam-alaikum. 708 00:38:18,518 --> 00:38:19,852 Oh, fuck. 709 00:38:22,981 --> 00:38:24,440 Where have you been? 710 00:38:24,524 --> 00:38:26,859 Jesus! What the hell, girl? 711 00:38:26,942 --> 00:38:28,861 Sorry. I've been in the forest. I... 712 00:38:28,944 --> 00:38:30,780 I don't know if I'm in trouble or not. 713 00:38:30,863 --> 00:38:33,033 I... ate... lead. 714 00:38:33,116 --> 00:38:34,409 Girl, we've all eaten lead. 715 00:38:34,492 --> 00:38:36,161 That's probably why half of us are in here. 716 00:38:38,246 --> 00:38:39,622 - The beds grew. - Yeah. 717 00:38:39,705 --> 00:38:41,749 Maybe you were better off in the forest. 718 00:38:41,832 --> 00:38:43,459 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 719 00:38:43,543 --> 00:38:45,295 I don't care. I am home. 720 00:38:45,378 --> 00:38:48,548 And Kukudio? She is batshit crazy. 721 00:38:48,631 --> 00:38:49,799 You don't say. 722 00:38:49,882 --> 00:38:51,342 Exes. 723 00:38:51,426 --> 00:38:53,261 What are you gonna do? 724 00:39:26,461 --> 00:39:27,795 Lolly. 725 00:39:27,878 --> 00:39:30,090 Lolly, get up. We gotta go take care of this. 726 00:39:30,173 --> 00:39:31,466 What? 727 00:39:32,592 --> 00:39:35,720 Our friend in the greenhouse? Get up. 728 00:39:35,803 --> 00:39:37,555 The friend? 729 00:39:37,638 --> 00:39:40,100 Are we still in Green Bay? 730 00:39:44,229 --> 00:39:45,438 Never mind. Just... 731 00:39:46,439 --> 00:39:47,732 go to sleep. 732 00:40:27,591 --> 00:40:29,345 LOOK WHO'S BIG ASS IS... FAIL! 733 00:40:32,735 --> 00:40:35,530 They left you in here alone? Jesus Christ. 734 00:40:35,613 --> 00:40:37,407 - What did you see? - Nothing. 735 00:40:37,490 --> 00:40:38,949 What did you see? 736 00:40:39,033 --> 00:40:40,826 A Kardashian, maybe? 737 00:40:44,038 --> 00:40:45,331 Stick with your first answer. 738 00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:48,751 Maureen Kukudio. 739 00:40:50,085 --> 00:40:51,296 Maureen Kukudio. 740 00:40:51,379 --> 00:40:53,923 Let's learn a little bit about you. 741 00:41:01,347 --> 00:41:02,390 Look at that. 742 00:41:03,641 --> 00:41:06,311 Who likes to be predictable, right? 743 00:41:09,104 --> 00:41:12,275 What am I gonna do with you, Maureen Kukudio? 744 00:41:12,358 --> 00:41:14,902 Send me to bed? But feed me first, then... 745 00:41:14,985 --> 00:41:15,986 send me to bed? 746 00:41:16,070 --> 00:41:18,573 - You ran away. - Yeah, everyone ran away. 747 00:41:18,656 --> 00:41:19,824 You extra ran away. 748 00:41:19,907 --> 00:41:21,784 You guys were the ones that took the fence down. 749 00:41:21,867 --> 00:41:23,619 I... I got lost out there. I took shelter. 750 00:41:23,703 --> 00:41:24,704 I almost froze to death. 751 00:41:24,787 --> 00:41:27,081 - It's 78 degrees. - I could've died 752 00:41:27,165 --> 00:41:28,833 while under your watch. 753 00:41:29,792 --> 00:41:32,044 What if the warden found out about this? 754 00:41:33,296 --> 00:41:34,630 I am the warden. 755 00:41:35,631 --> 00:41:36,882 Really? 756 00:41:36,966 --> 00:41:38,884 A rose is a rose. 757 00:41:40,595 --> 00:41:43,055 I like your... sunflower. 758 00:41:48,102 --> 00:41:51,146 Get out. Go to bed. 759 00:41:51,231 --> 00:41:52,232 No dinner. 760 00:41:52,940 --> 00:41:54,359 Stay out of my sight. 761 00:42:30,311 --> 00:42:32,855 So, I thought everything was cool, right? 762 00:42:32,938 --> 00:42:34,732 But now every time I see her, 763 00:42:34,815 --> 00:42:36,609 she's really mean to me. 764 00:42:36,692 --> 00:42:37,985 Well, what'd you do? 765 00:42:38,068 --> 00:42:39,654 Nothing. 766 00:42:39,737 --> 00:42:41,989 I mean, our... Our work schedules have changed, 767 00:42:42,072 --> 00:42:43,574 and so we haven't been seein' each other as much. 768 00:42:43,658 --> 00:42:44,825 Maybe she's mad about that. 769 00:42:44,909 --> 00:42:47,245 What does she do? 770 00:42:47,328 --> 00:42:50,373 She was a... trucker. 771 00:42:50,456 --> 00:42:52,250 But... 772 00:42:52,333 --> 00:42:55,670 she had an accident, so she's been taking some time off. 773 00:42:55,753 --> 00:43:00,049 Well, look... if you're having trouble talkin' to her in person, 774 00:43:00,132 --> 00:43:01,384 just text her, man. 775 00:43:01,467 --> 00:43:03,218 Maybe like... 776 00:43:11,269 --> 00:43:12,395 That's cute. 777 00:43:12,478 --> 00:43:14,522 She'll like that. Chicks love baby faces. 778 00:43:14,605 --> 00:43:16,065 Yeah. 779 00:43:16,148 --> 00:43:17,900 She don't really text a whole lot. 780 00:43:27,076 --> 00:43:29,620 Help. Okay... if I ever text you, 781 00:43:29,704 --> 00:43:31,831 I'm just gonna use letters and numbers. 782 00:43:31,914 --> 00:43:33,708 That's cool. 783 00:43:33,791 --> 00:43:35,835 But not the number 12, okay? 784 00:43:44,594 --> 00:43:45,928 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 785 00:45:24,401 --> 00:45:25,861 Oh, my God. 786 00:45:55,558 --> 00:45:57,392 What? What? 787 00:45:58,769 --> 00:46:00,395 Rise and shine. 788 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,022 What's going on? 789 00:46:02,106 --> 00:46:04,024 - What time is it? - 3:30 a.m. 790 00:46:04,108 --> 00:46:07,194 You wanted to feed the troops. It's time for your shift. 791 00:46:07,277 --> 00:46:09,321 But I don't start until 4:30. 792 00:46:09,404 --> 00:46:12,407 Breakfast starts at 4:30 now, more bodies to feed. 793 00:46:13,493 --> 00:46:15,578 Get up. 794 00:46:15,661 --> 00:46:17,622 Don't keep the people waiting. 795 00:46:23,252 --> 00:46:25,713 Who's gonna eat at 4:30? 796 00:46:46,692 --> 00:46:48,152 Capudog! 797 00:46:49,486 --> 00:46:50,863 Where you goin'? 798 00:46:50,946 --> 00:46:53,741 Home. Shower. Sleep. 799 00:46:53,824 --> 00:46:54,867 Oh, sure. 800 00:46:54,950 --> 00:46:56,786 Now that you're the big boss man, 801 00:46:56,869 --> 00:46:59,329 you get to sleep all day while the rest of us have to work, huh? 802 00:46:59,413 --> 00:47:01,081 Pretty good life you got there, buddy. 803 00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:03,751 Healy, Healy... 804 00:47:08,213 --> 00:47:11,175 I had something I needed to say to you. I... 805 00:47:11,258 --> 00:47:13,886 Shit. My brain is not workin'. 806 00:47:13,969 --> 00:47:15,387 Somethin' about the new inmates? 807 00:47:15,470 --> 00:47:17,389 Guard walk-out? 808 00:47:17,472 --> 00:47:19,559 Who told you about the guard walk-out? 809 00:47:19,642 --> 00:47:22,311 I saw Maxwell at Jamba's. 810 00:47:22,394 --> 00:47:24,396 Boy, she is one angry... 811 00:47:27,399 --> 00:47:28,400 lady. 812 00:47:29,234 --> 00:47:30,402 Talked my ear off. 813 00:47:30,485 --> 00:47:32,487 Anyway, don't worry. 814 00:47:32,572 --> 00:47:34,114 I'm brought up to speed. 815 00:47:35,449 --> 00:47:36,826 Go change your suit. 816 00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:39,754 Be the big dog. 817 00:47:41,872 --> 00:47:43,082 Capudog! 818 00:47:49,004 --> 00:47:50,840 Hey! Morticia! 819 00:47:50,923 --> 00:47:54,635 We gotta take care of some non-plant matter in the greenhouse. 820 00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:56,470 Do you get what I am saying? 821 00:47:56,553 --> 00:47:57,554 You with me? 822 00:47:59,348 --> 00:48:02,226 She's... She's with me. We love gardening. 823 00:48:12,252 --> 00:48:14,739 Well... 824 00:48:14,822 --> 00:48:17,407 Good morning, handsome. 825 00:48:17,491 --> 00:48:18,868 I'm Judy King. 826 00:48:20,953 --> 00:48:22,079 Sam Healy. 827 00:48:38,470 --> 00:48:39,847 What the fuck did you do? 828 00:48:41,390 --> 00:48:42,642 Nice try. 829 00:48:43,684 --> 00:48:45,352 It was self-defense. 830 00:48:45,435 --> 00:48:48,147 He was killing me. We had no choice. 831 00:48:50,650 --> 00:48:52,777 I'm bored. What's the plan? 832 00:48:54,278 --> 00:48:56,113 Bury him under the floorboards. 833 00:48:56,947 --> 00:48:59,533 Well, that's dumb. Haven't you ever killed someone before? 834 00:48:59,616 --> 00:49:02,202 No. Have you? 835 00:49:02,286 --> 00:49:03,829 That's personal. 836 00:49:03,913 --> 00:49:06,540 But if I had, I'd know better than to waste my time 837 00:49:06,623 --> 00:49:09,877 diggin' one 6-foot hole, when I could dig six 1-foot holes. 838 00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:11,211 That's just murder math. 839 00:49:12,421 --> 00:49:14,339 What are you talking about? 840 00:49:15,424 --> 00:49:17,342 Fuckin' amateurs. 841 00:49:17,426 --> 00:49:19,386 It's got to go in the garden. 842 00:49:19,469 --> 00:49:22,807 The earth's already soft and dug and turned. 843 00:49:22,890 --> 00:49:24,850 I am not cutting up a body. 844 00:49:41,075 --> 00:49:44,619 I was supposed to transplant the sunflowers today. 845 00:49:48,457 --> 00:49:50,417 I'll keep these as a thank-you. 846 00:49:57,299 --> 00:49:59,593 You gotta start cutting along the joint line, 847 00:49:59,676 --> 00:50:02,805 and whatever you do, don't puncture the intestines. 848 00:50:09,103 --> 00:50:11,230 That's it for the toast. Sorry, people. 849 00:50:11,313 --> 00:50:12,898 You've got to be kidding me. 850 00:50:12,982 --> 00:50:14,441 That's the only crunchy thing we get today. 851 00:50:14,524 --> 00:50:16,485 Without toast, this is just slop. 852 00:50:16,568 --> 00:50:17,862 There's really no more toast? 853 00:50:17,945 --> 00:50:20,655 These are new days. The early bird gets the toast. 854 00:50:20,740 --> 00:50:22,366 Red... 855 00:50:22,449 --> 00:50:23,700 you owe me for the Hawaiian. 856 00:50:23,784 --> 00:50:25,911 You watchin' this shit? 857 00:50:25,995 --> 00:50:27,913 Cleopatra was talkin' for reals. 858 00:50:27,997 --> 00:50:29,915 Guess you can't judge a book, huh? 859 00:50:33,753 --> 00:50:35,587 For you, Your Majesty. 860 00:50:35,670 --> 00:50:37,089 Thank you. 861 00:50:40,205 --> 00:50:41,593 After you, jefa. 862 00:50:43,053 --> 00:50:44,096 Do I know you? 863 00:50:44,179 --> 00:50:45,931 I just heard things. 864 00:50:46,115 --> 00:50:47,933 You heard things. 865 00:50:48,934 --> 00:50:49,935 Really? 866 00:50:52,729 --> 00:50:53,898 Okay, then. 867 00:50:55,775 --> 00:50:57,026 Have a nice day. 868 00:51:13,708 --> 00:51:15,585 Okay. 869 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,059 The flowers look nice. 870 00:52:13,936 --> 00:52:16,480 Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving.