1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,008 [cell door slams] [theme song playing] 2 00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,850 [cell door slams] 3 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:15,742 [cell door slams] 4 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:23,333 The Vietnam War was mostly subsidized by pesticide manufacturers. 5 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,419 Agent Orange, look it up. 6 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,962 Don't need to. I know you're right. 7 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:32,092 That's why they call the bug spray "Raid," after the Son Tay Raid. 8 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,177 [chuckles] This is so nice! 9 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:38,014 You know what's great about being gettin' out of Psych, 10 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,100 besides, you know, gettin' out of Psych? 11 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:44,729 Is actually having a roommate that you can, like, really talk to. 12 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,065 My last roommate... [exclaims] 13 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,276 she could barely put two words together, and when she did, 14 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,863 they were either "dragon bastard" and "fight fire." 15 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,907 "Dragon bastard, fight fire." 16 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,576 She had some weird movie goin' on in her head. 17 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:01,996 I need your help here. 18 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,957 Absolutely. Whatever you need. 19 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,669 I need you to go swipe a tablespoon. 20 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:11,840 Not a teaspoon, a full-sized tablespoon. A metal one. 21 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,175 A metal one? That might take a while. 22 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:18,388 However long it takes. We're playin' the long game. 23 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,431 Okay. 24 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,565 - [indistinct chatter] - [crying] 25 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,697 Fuckin' nutbirds everywhere you look. 26 00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:37,907 Funny you should phrase it that way, 27 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,535 because today I'm working with a flock of actual birds. 28 00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:47,125 Chickens for the new farm therapy program that Warden Ward has instituted. 29 00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:51,045 Fuckin' Ward. Talk about an inmate runnin' the asylum. 30 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,381 Makin' us call these criminals Ms. So-and-So? 31 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,568 Like they're friends of my parents and not some dirty felons. 32 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:58,386 Yeah, and what if they don't gender identify as a Ms., right? 33 00:02:58,469 --> 00:02:59,989 That's some insensitivity right there. 34 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:03,558 Who gives a fuck, okay? Don't even start with that bullshit. 35 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:06,978 You're not what you feel like. You got a vag or you got a dick. 36 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:09,606 I could feel like I'm a Chinese, don't mean I am one. 37 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:13,401 - You feel Chinese? - You see that interview she did? Hmm? 38 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,196 Ward got a cool two mil for closing Psych. 39 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,465 Instead of spreadin' it around on the people who are actually down here, 40 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:19,991 in this shit with these wackos, 41 00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:24,245 she's givin' the money to fuckin' chicken farmers. I identify as pissed off. 42 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,140 Actually, there's a lot of research 43 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:30,501 that shows the benefits of working with animals for the neurodiverse. 44 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,128 [sniffs and clears throat] 45 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,179 You wanna request a book? 46 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,935 I actually would like your help to distribute a self-published work. 47 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,020 Nonfiction, it's a new genre for me, 48 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:51,940 but I think this is compelling, nonetheless. 49 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,609 If you're lookin' to enter the underground market, 50 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:58,071 most folks want porn stuff, or one of them Bosch books. 51 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:03,128 Yo, if you wanted to write some Harry Bosch fanfic, you'd have a bestseller right there. You can call it "Hairy Bush." 52 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,620 I'm not looking to appeal to the masses. 53 00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:09,249 I need this to get into the hands of Tasha Jefferson. 54 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,042 No one else. [sighs] 55 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,370 [Pennsatucky] Why do you look so down? 56 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:32,105 You should feel good. Think about all those words you wrote. 57 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:36,067 Was it too many words? I mean, I know I can be long-winded, 58 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:39,487 and I know that writing is really rewriting, as Stephen King says. 59 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:42,949 Maybe I should I get it back, do another pass before Taystee reads it. 60 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:46,619 Or maybe I should add some sex stuff to keep it interesting. 61 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,080 Maybe you just should let go and move on. 62 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:51,791 I knew this cook once, Shandy. 63 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:55,378 He was always overthinkin' everything, worryin'. 64 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,879 In the end, that's what killed him. 65 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,258 - Did his brain short circuit? - No, his meth lab blew up. 66 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:05,263 But the point is, you need to have somethin' else that occupies your time. 67 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,432 You know what? You wanna come to GED class with me? 68 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,143 Mr. Fantauzzo makes it super fun. 69 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,855 Unfortunately, I have already graduated from high school. 70 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:17,483 Oh. Well, then do that chicken class that Alvarez wanted everyone to sign up for. 71 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:21,237 Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. There is a chicken class? What... 72 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,824 Are they going to teach to the chickens about chickens, 73 00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:28,328 or teach us how to be chickens? Why am I even asking? I am so in! 74 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,996 Cluck yeah, you are. 75 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,040 See what I did there? 76 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,667 Can't all be winners. 77 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,046 [Piper moaning] 78 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,257 No, no, don't. She's almost there. 79 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,844 [moaning continues] 80 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,304 [Cal groans] 81 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,852 [vibrator buzzing] 82 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,937 - [Cal sighs] - Motherfucker. 83 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,858 [Piper] One sec. One sec. One sec. 84 00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:03,154 Pipes, can you come out? We need to talk. 85 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,616 [panting] Hey. Hi. 86 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:10,328 Can you guys hang on a second? I was just about to hop in the shower. 87 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,580 You already came once. Don't be greedy. 88 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:21,756 Your new, um, habits have become kind of disruptive. 89 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,966 The resonant frequencies of your vibrator 90 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,843 are distorting the audio on the baby monitor. 91 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:30,515 I'm so sorry. I was just following Alex's suggestion, 92 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,309 and then, I guess it was working too well. 93 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,436 I thought Alex said you should fuck other people. 94 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:40,691 Her point was that I need to release the pressure that's building up, 95 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:45,822 so that I don't act out in some other way and screw up my probation. 96 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,826 This way, I don't involve other people. 97 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,370 Man cannot live on masturbation alone. 98 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:55,665 And woman's stitches don't always heal right away, okay? 99 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,042 Was it working for you? 100 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,130 For about 30 seconds afterwards, I'd feel at peace. 101 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:04,674 That adds up. 102 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,634 - Compulsively masturbating... - Come on, now. 103 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,095 - ...it speaks to something deeper. - Oh, God. 104 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,681 You're not solving the problem. You're just masking it. 105 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:17,019 When was the last time you had real, physical intimacy with another person? 106 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,248 It's been a while, but I don't wanna date anybody else. 107 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,606 No one's talking about dating. 108 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,526 This is strictly a one-night stand situation. 109 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,902 - [Neri] Right. - [Cal] I know. 110 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,155 The next time you go to one of your NA meetings, 111 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,616 just go next door and drop in on a Sex Addicts meeting. 112 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:33,119 Meet some freaky deakies. 113 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:34,954 I don't want a freaky deaky. 114 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,999 At least, I don't think so. I don't know. 115 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:41,961 I'm worried if I hook up with anybody else, 116 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,505 I'll spend the entire time comparing them to Alex. 117 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,425 [sighs] Okay, then, go the opposite. 118 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:51,053 Hit up one of those douchey gyms in the Financial District. 119 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,431 Back in the day when I wanted some strange, 120 00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:56,184 I would grab a Wall Street dude coming out of spin class. 121 00:07:56,267 --> 00:08:00,313 I knew exactly what his body looked like, I knew what his sweat smelled like, 122 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,483 and I knew for sure there would be no emotional attachment. 123 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:07,904 I could simply hate-fuck his capitalist brains right out his prick. 124 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:12,533 Before Lehman Brothers went down, Neri went down on Lehman Brothers. 125 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,123 No. You have not earned back your fridge-lidges. 126 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,250 Room temperature only for you. 127 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,587 Un-fucking-believable! 128 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:27,548 It's up to 123 likes, 129 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:32,178 27 hearts and 18 sobbing faces! 130 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,140 Fucking Luschek. 131 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,975 What about fucking Luschek? 132 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,369 [Caputo] Keeps commenting on the post 133 00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:42,480 where she basically calls me Harvey Weinstein. 134 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,982 [Fig] She accused you of sexual harassment, not sodomy. 135 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,376 And she didn't even say it was you. 136 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,154 Then why did O'Neill reach out to me? And Kirkpatrick? 137 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,156 And you know what really chaps my ass? 138 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:53,991 She doesn't have her facts straight. 139 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:58,596 She says the warden fired her. I wasn't even the warden then. Maybe you should message her with that clarification. 140 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,416 I know you're being sarcastic, 141 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:07,421 [groans]...but I was thinking that maybe I should reach out to her. 142 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,258 - No! - I just wanna clear the air. 143 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:15,054 This is basically one big misunderstanding that has now turned into slander. 144 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,976 She says I was obsessed with her. I was not obsessed with her. 145 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,478 Well, you are now. Joe, you gotta let this go. 146 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,020 [cell phone chimes] 147 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,316 [scoffs] 148 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,111 Luschek just commented "believe women." 149 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:33,155 An... And he did the fist emoji, but he changed the skin color to white, 150 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,907 instead of keeping it Simpsons yellow. 151 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:35,866 Who does that? 152 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,911 [chuckles] That's some white supremacist shit right there. 153 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,790 Maybe I am not the best person to be advising you on this, 154 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,751 considering you blackmailed me into giving you a blowjob. 155 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,336 That was consensual blackmail. 156 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,840 And now, we are living in non-wedded bliss. 157 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,509 Joe, the best thing you can do 158 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,638 as a straight white man is shut the fuck up. 159 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:58,931 But that's crazy. 160 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:03,311 I get it, men have been abusive assholes throughout time, 161 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,396 but I am not one of those guys. 162 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:08,357 I'm just trying to get the facts straight. 163 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,485 The only thing more annoying than you being a nice guy 164 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,697 is your need for everyone to think that you're a nice guy. 165 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,949 It's not gonna happen, but this will blow over, 166 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,802 'cause the world doesn't really care about anyone, 167 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:20,386 and it really doesn't care about women. 168 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:24,957 So, sit tight and let it pass. [kisses] 169 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,420 - Hurts when I sit too long. - Then stand and let it pass. 170 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:30,503 [cell phone chimes] 171 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,299 Fucking Luschek. 172 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:34,550 Do it, ping-pong. 173 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,343 We need to talk. 174 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:38,721 In private. 175 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,681 Yo. 176 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,475 [snaps fingers] Leave me be. 177 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,689 The guards did a sweep last night and they cleared out our safe spot. 178 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:49,773 What did they get? 179 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,526 Your phone and seven marijuana hand rolls. 180 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,463 Thank goodness we're waiting on a delivery, 181 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,822 but we need to find a safer spot for when it comes in. 182 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,741 We can call it "safe spot B." 183 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,828 Yo, this is not good. I have mad shit in that phone. 184 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:06,582 Deals, amounts, fucking names. 185 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,210 - Didn't you put any of it in code? - I was busy. 186 00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:10,586 [sighs] 187 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,047 I don't even know why I try to set up security protocols 188 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,650 if you're not going to implement them. 189 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,968 It's gonna be fine. I'll just talk to Hopper. 190 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,678 Hopper? 191 00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,556 Hopper has not been to work for two days now. 192 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:24,599 What? 193 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,977 Hopper's helping Mom deal with court shit. 194 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,479 What the fuck, yo? 195 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,291 Is she still trying to sue that nail place for that foot fungus she got? 196 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:35,111 No, she lost her shit on some dude's car, thinking it was my boyfriend's. 197 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,238 I mean, lost her shit. 198 00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:41,117 So, now Hopper's skipping work to fuckin' clean up her mess? 199 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:45,037 And now Angel broke up with me, and I miss him so bad. 200 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,206 He's my life, Daya. 201 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,501 What am I gonna do? Fucking Aleida. 202 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,420 [scoffs] The fuck. 203 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,423 Kitchen volunteers reporting for duty. 204 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,551 That's great. We need all the help. Thank you. 205 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,543 [in Spanish] There's a problem. 206 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:03,931 Diablo? 207 00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,951 [in English] No, I still can't find him in the system. 208 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,869 It's about that free lawyer group I hooked you up with, 209 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,562 the Freedom for Immigrants guy. 210 00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,164 [in Spanish] Yeah, he's coming next week. 211 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,898 I'm sorry, baby. No. 212 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:16,152 [in English] These ICE pendejos are... are not letting them come no more. 213 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,112 Those micro-dicked pieces of shit. 214 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:20,448 Yeah, ICE is saying that the organization 215 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,409 is inciting riotous behavior among the detainees. 216 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,994 That's a damn lie. 217 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:25,953 [in Spanish] Liars! 218 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,597 [in English] They're banning them because they can. 219 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:30,624 Listen, I made some calls and I put you on some wait lists, 220 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,919 but it's gonna be a couple of months before a free lawyer could see you. 221 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,589 There is no way I can delay my hearing that long. 222 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:37,816 [in Spanish] The only reason I got back here 223 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,026 was because I copied what the Salvadoran said to the judge. 224 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,890 [in English] Maybe you can ask her to help you, 225 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:45,514 and maybe you could call her by her real name instead of "la salvadoreña." 226 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,142 [in Spanish] She's too busy looking down her nose at me. 227 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,162 [in English] She's not gonna reach out her hand. 228 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,546 [in Spanish] Let me see this lady. 229 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,025 There she is. 230 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:02,031 [in English] That's her spot. Always sitting by herself, of course. 231 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,033 Look at that ICE motherfucker, 232 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,869 struttin' around like king rooster on shit mountain. 233 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,264 Deporting the best and the most beautiful. 234 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,957 He don't even know how to put his sunglasses on right. 235 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,210 - [Gloria sighs] - [Nicky chuckling] 236 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,756 Go to bed with illegals, you wake up with fleas. 237 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,675 I mean, she could be a terrorist. 238 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:25,554 They use lady suicide bombers all the time. 239 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:30,351 They hide the explosives under their burqas. It's diabolical. 240 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:34,271 I don't feel safe with her in the kitchen, quite frankly. 241 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:36,857 Don't you think? 242 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,528 Yes. Yes, of course. 243 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:45,950 I don't understand why we let all these Muslims into our country 244 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:49,787 when we know all they wanna do is destroy our way of life. 245 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,254 I don't know if this was a real American television show 246 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,881 or a fever dream I had as a child. 247 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:04,635 I'm basically a walking Wikipedia of useless pop culture information, 248 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,011 so I'm happy to fact-check. 249 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,432 Was there a show with a male modeling agency 250 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,101 that secretly solved crimes? 251 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:16,397 Holy shit. You're talkin' about Cover Up. I can't believe you saw that. 252 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:21,110 I'm telling you, my uncle had the biggest satellite dish for miles. 253 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:24,363 I watched everything, whether I could understand it or not. 254 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,740 I liked having the TV on while I did my homework. 255 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:30,452 All this nonsense chattering made me feel less alone. 256 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:35,082 Well, if you like nonsense chattering, I am definitely your girl. 257 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,335 I knew there was a reason why I liked you so much. 258 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:43,215 Ah, crazy story about Cover Up. 259 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:46,093 You know the main dude who played the international male model 260 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,512 who was actually a secret CIA operative? 261 00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:55,060 Well, he accidentally killed himself on set with a prop gun. 262 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,481 - Someone put in real bullets? - No, no, no, no, it was blank. 263 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,234 But he held it up to his head, messing around, pulled the trigger. 264 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,194 And that close, a blank can kill you. 265 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:08,532 I'm relieved to know it was a real show and not a strange dream I had. 266 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:12,286 And I'm relieved that I didn't have to hear you tell me about a dream you had. 267 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,264 You don't like to hear about dreams? 268 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,497 I have a strict policy. 269 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,975 I don't wanna hear about anybody else's dream 270 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,542 unless I'm in it and we're fucking. 271 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,086 In the dream, I mean. 272 00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:32,056 A giant was, uh, chasing me. 273 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:51,450 Okay, final question in this round of Biology Feud. 274 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:55,329 Currently, Team Photosynthesis is in the lead with 62 peanut M&M's 275 00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:58,207 to Team Krebs Cycle's 58. Very close race. 276 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:02,336 Remember, this one is for the full-sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cup 277 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:05,255 for every person on the team. 278 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,384 Does that mean each person gets two? 'Cause they come two to a pack. 279 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,010 No. Every person gets one cup. 280 00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:13,347 - [scoffs] What? I was just asking. - Be classy, dude. 281 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:18,102 Okay. "What are the three states of matter?" 282 00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,311 - Buzz. - [Pennsatucky] Buzz. 283 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:21,772 Very close, but it's Ms. Cabrera by a parsec. 284 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:22,940 Um... 285 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:26,777 Solid, liquid and... 286 00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:32,491 - ice. - [Pennsatucky imitates buzzer] 287 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,302 That is incorrect. Ms. Doggett for the steal. 288 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,787 Solid, liquid, gas. 289 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,015 - That's correct! Ding, ding, ding! - [inmates cheering] 290 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,960 Team Photosynthesis, converting that carbon into a win. 291 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,588 One last thing, everyone. Please review your social studies worksheets. 292 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:50,092 This Friday, we're gonna do our very first practice test. 293 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,176 [inmate booing] 294 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,553 [Elmer] I know. I know. 295 00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:56,098 But the GED board won't let me administer the test like a game of Jeopardy!, 296 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,267 so we're gonna stick with the practice tests for now. 297 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:05,566 [Pennsatucky] Hey. 298 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,735 I was wonderin', uh... 299 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:10,654 I thought there was only one test at the end of this whole class. 300 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,031 Sure, the big one, at the end. 301 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,533 But to prepare for it, we need to take a lot of little ones. 302 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,911 Okay, well, can I just take the class and no tests? 303 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,289 Then how would you get your GED? 304 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,168 Well, I'm gonna be here a few more years. 305 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,670 So I was thinkin' that I could just take the class 306 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,757 a couple of more times, no tests, just learn, 307 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,010 and then I'll be really prepared, and I'll take my GED thing then. 308 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,597 Ms. Doggett, all of the exams, including the final GED exam, 309 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,474 are required to stay in the class. 310 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,684 If you wanna keep coming, you do have to take them. 311 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,606 Oh. Okay. 312 00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:48,776 It doesn't affect your grade. It's just a practice test. 313 00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,196 See you Friday? 314 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,331 - [exclaims] - Daddy! 315 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,958 Jesus. You damn near killed me there. 316 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,961 You just damn near scared the living craps out of me. 317 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,923 It's been a while. I thought you was in North Carolina. 318 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,801 Yeah, I was, and then it was Texas. Now, I'm here. 319 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,805 Thought I'd enter the bass fishing tourney over the weekend, 320 00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,264 over at Weebreck Lake. 321 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,225 Figured you might wanna join me. 322 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,268 Why, 'cause you asked Trey and he said no? 323 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,897 No, I figured I'd ask my first choice first. 324 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,607 Oh, Donny said no. 325 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,028 Listen, Tiff, you don't wanna go, you don't have to. 326 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,572 But you used to love fishing with me. 327 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,659 Yeah, when I was, like, eight, maybe. 328 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,871 Then you freakin' hocked the boat, 329 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,999 and you left town and you went off with that Trina lady. 330 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,710 And the Lord punished me for that, believe you me. 331 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,214 Come on, what do you say? You in? 332 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,174 Me and you split that $400 prize? 333 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,678 I haven't been fishing in, like, a million years. 334 00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,597 Well, I ain't askin' on account of your expertise, Tiff. 335 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,308 You've always been my lucky charm. 336 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,477 Okay. 337 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:08,480 Sure, I'm in. 338 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,108 All right! Got us a plan. 339 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:14,111 - [chuckles] - Unless I die of thirst before then. 340 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,031 Well, you look good, Dad. 341 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:21,160 I mean, shit, last time I saw you, you was real messed up. 342 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,412 Yeah. I'm clean now. 343 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:27,332 Six months. Just beer and pot. 344 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,333 What about you? 345 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:32,546 I dabble. 346 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:40,179 Well, to fishin' ass and kickin' bass, or, you know, vice versa. 347 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:49,929 - [Healy] Hey, Joe. - Hey, Sam. 348 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,274 Hey. Good to see you. 349 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:55,319 - Thanks for makin' time for me. - Always, brother, always. 350 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,362 Hey, Corinna, I'm gonna take my break now, okay? 351 00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,742 Hey, I'm gonna make a smoothie. You want one? 352 00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:03,410 Oh, no, I'm okay. 353 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:06,079 Oh, come on. I'm makin' it for myself. It's no bother. 354 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,539 All right. Sure. 355 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:13,253 Great. This is my special recipe, off the menu. 356 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,631 [blender whirring] 357 00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,382 So, what's goin' on? 358 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,302 Your energy is kind of unbalanced. 359 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,428 Yeah. 360 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:22,970 Um... 361 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:26,391 - We can talk about it when you're done. - No, it's cool. 362 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,310 I can hear everything perfectly. What's up? 363 00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:32,689 - I'm sure you saw the thing on Facebook. - What's that? 364 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,984 Facebook. The thing Susan Fischer wrote about me? 365 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,361 Who what, now? 366 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:40,197 Susan Fischer, the guard from camp. 367 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,700 Oh, yeah. The little cutie. She reached out to you over Facebook? 368 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,544 - [blender stops whirring] - She Me Too'd me. 369 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,922 - It looks good. - Yeah, it's pretty good. 370 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:02,761 $8.32. I gotta charge you. They keep track. 371 00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,097 Oh... oh. 372 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,814 Hey, thanks. I'll meet you over there. 373 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,365 Take a look at this. 374 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:25,783 Oh. 375 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,203 That's rough. 376 00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:32,457 Oh, man. That's really rough. 377 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:33,917 So, what do I do? 378 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,296 I... I mean, I had a little bit of a crush on her, 379 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:39,965 but I was never inappropriate. I... I never made a pass. 380 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:42,217 Now, she's written this thing that... 381 00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,386 It's all part of the whole movement, 382 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:47,848 which I, of course, absolutely support, the movement. 383 00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:52,436 Absolutely. Me, too. I mean, me, as well. You know, I support the movement. 384 00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:53,812 Fig says I should ignore it. 385 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:57,149 You know, when I interviewed for this job, 386 00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:59,484 they wanted to talk to me about my strengths, 387 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:03,530 but I wanted to talk about my weaknesses as well. 388 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:04,823 [chuckles] Oh, yeah? 389 00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:06,426 Yeah, I mean, I was a great counselor, 390 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:09,161 but I lacked in certain interpersonal skills. 391 00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:12,956 So, I was working on that, so I figured, well, I'll let them know about that. 392 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,209 Well, it worked. You got the job. 393 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:18,754 Yeah, I got the job, but it's more than that. 394 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:19,963 I got out ahead of it. 395 00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:25,927 Which is why, when team member Rebecca complained about feeling unsafe, 396 00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:28,722 I got a second chance. 397 00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:30,565 Now, they don't put us on the same schedules, 398 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,310 and I know there's no more shoulder squeezes. 399 00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:36,438 You gotta get out ahead of it. 400 00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:40,901 - You really think so? - Apologize to Susan. 401 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:48,033 Explain your side of it, but most important, listen to her side. 402 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:50,285 - [Corinna] Hey, Sam. - Yeah? 403 00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:52,412 Gonna need you to wrap up that break, buddy. 404 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,247 You got it, C-Dawg. 405 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,627 These women, they just wanna be heard. 406 00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:01,546 - Sam? - Yeah. Coming. 407 00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:05,884 - Okay, I gotta go. - Sam, thank you. Thank you. 408 00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:07,177 - [Healy] Yeah. - Yeah. 409 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:16,853 Yo, Madam Secretary. You workin' in the warden's office today? 410 00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:18,105 Yeah, later. 411 00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:22,442 All right. I figured out something you could get for me, 412 00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:25,126 and once you get it, I could get for you that thing that you want. 413 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:27,656 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 414 00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,242 My phone got nabbed in the sweep last night 415 00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:32,869 and I need to get it back before they figure out it's mine. 416 00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:36,790 And my dickhead stepfucker isn't showing up to work to help me out. 417 00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:39,626 Look, I don't know where they keep stuff they seize, 418 00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,086 but I know it's not in her office. 419 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,296 It's not. There's a contraband room. 420 00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:46,675 Hopper told me shit's kept there a couple of days 421 00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:48,760 until they turn it over to the cops. 422 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:54,433 Warden's got one of the keys. All I'm asking you to do is get that key. 423 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,476 And do you know where she keeps it? 424 00:23:56,893 --> 00:24:00,021 Bitch, am I supposed to do everything for you? 425 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,816 You're her assistant. Assist shit out. 426 00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:06,361 [scoffs] Do you want the drugs or not? 427 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,081 Shit. I lined it up wrong. Hang on. 428 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,374 It's okay. 429 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:21,668 [Alex] God damn it. 430 00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:24,296 You doin' all right? 431 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,425 I told Piper she could see other people, and now it's all I can think about. 432 00:24:29,092 --> 00:24:31,678 - Are you regretting that? - Not exactly. 433 00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:35,724 I know it's the right decision while I'm in here, but I just... 434 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:38,435 I can't stop picturing it. I mean, is she... 435 00:24:40,103 --> 00:24:41,980 kissing someone else right now? 436 00:24:42,063 --> 00:24:44,274 Is she fucking someone right now? 437 00:24:45,942 --> 00:24:48,528 Maybe you could try to reframe it for yourself. 438 00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:51,531 Instead of getting upset by thinking about it, 439 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:54,576 you could let yourself be turned on by it. 440 00:24:58,788 --> 00:25:02,626 I appreciate your helpful interest, but we don't need to talk about this. 441 00:25:03,126 --> 00:25:05,795 - No, it's okay. I don't mind. - No, no, I'm good. 442 00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:08,131 I'll see you later. 443 00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:22,979 [pop music playing over speakers] 444 00:25:33,573 --> 00:25:37,244 - Somebody's thirsty. - What? Me? No, why? 445 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,330 This is a total body hydrator. 446 00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:43,667 Aloe, coconut water, cukes. 447 00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:48,880 I like your Lulus. Are those vintage, or is boot-cut coming back? 448 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,966 Um, vintage. 449 00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:54,594 - Eighteen dollars. - Seriously? 450 00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:55,845 It's cold pressed. 451 00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:58,848 Oh, no. I forgot my credit card. 452 00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:00,576 Oh, that's cool. What's your membership number? 453 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,727 Um... Uh, you know, I'm gonna stick with water. 454 00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:30,964 I know you. You went to Brown, right? 455 00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:33,341 Smith. 456 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:37,345 Brown was too loosey-goosey with that whole "no grades" thing. 457 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:38,929 I get it. 458 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:42,100 You're a goody two-shoes, right? Like to follow the rules. 459 00:26:42,892 --> 00:26:44,060 Depends whose rules. 460 00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:46,813 [chuckles] Let me guess, lawyer? 461 00:26:47,188 --> 00:26:48,188 I work in accounting. 462 00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:50,358 - Nice. What firm? - Mmm. 463 00:26:50,775 --> 00:26:52,861 You don't really care where I work, do you? 464 00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:55,488 Because I know I don't give a fuck what you do. 465 00:26:58,992 --> 00:27:00,243 [man panting] 466 00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:02,203 You feel so good. 467 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:06,666 - You, too. - Yeah? Like it when I fuck you like this? 468 00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:09,169 Ac... Actually, you know, maybe we should try... 469 00:27:09,252 --> 00:27:10,629 - [man] On top. - Yeah. 470 00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:12,714 [man] Yeah. Oh. 471 00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:13,840 Oh, God. 472 00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,383 [both panting] 473 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,845 You really like that? You like it? You like riding my... 474 00:27:18,928 --> 00:27:20,722 - Maybe if you don't talk. - [muffled] Okay. 475 00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:22,348 At all. 476 00:27:24,434 --> 00:27:26,061 [man grunts] 477 00:27:29,773 --> 00:27:31,232 - What's wrong? - Sorry. I gotta pee. 478 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:32,484 [man] What? 479 00:27:35,028 --> 00:27:37,072 - You wanna do it on my face? - No, thank you. 480 00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:39,115 Kidding. You know that, right? 481 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,368 You're hilarious. 482 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:58,843 [toothbrush vibrating] 483 00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:02,597 Are you using my toothbrush? 484 00:28:29,874 --> 00:28:31,376 Uh, the file cabinet's locked. 485 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,796 Oh. Um... Okay, just a second. 486 00:28:40,009 --> 00:28:42,804 I know Linda's probably seen that interview by now, 487 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:46,349 but she hasn't called to yell at me. 488 00:28:47,767 --> 00:28:50,770 And now, Hopper is late. 489 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,148 I know they're meeting. 490 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:54,983 That's how it's done. 491 00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:59,070 They set up the person who's gonna take over before they fire you. 492 00:28:59,612 --> 00:29:03,825 Oh, yeah, that reminds me. Linda's out on vacation until Monday, 493 00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:06,369 and Hopper is out sick with strep throat. 494 00:29:06,661 --> 00:29:08,121 What the hell, Taystee? 495 00:29:09,873 --> 00:29:10,873 [sighs] 496 00:29:11,958 --> 00:29:13,501 Okay, that's it. 497 00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:17,297 We are going to meet some chickens. 498 00:29:17,380 --> 00:29:19,090 Uh, but I got a bunch of work to do. 499 00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:24,429 No, as my assistant, you need to come out there with me. 500 00:29:24,804 --> 00:29:25,805 But why? 501 00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:29,976 Because chickens, Taystee. Come on. 502 00:29:36,524 --> 00:29:38,651 - [chickens clucking] - [Tamika] Morning. 503 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,573 Mr. Alvarez. 504 00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:45,950 - Hello? - [Alvarez clears throat] 505 00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:49,245 Uh, why don't you fill me in on what you got goin' on here so far? 506 00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:55,251 The warming lights are new. Good price, right? 507 00:29:55,335 --> 00:29:56,503 Yeah, it's, uh... 508 00:29:58,171 --> 00:30:00,256 Taystee? [chuckles] 509 00:30:01,382 --> 00:30:03,134 Did you sign up for this program, too? 510 00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:05,345 You know, it is not us that are teaching the chickens, 511 00:30:05,428 --> 00:30:07,722 but the chickens might be teaching us. 512 00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:10,099 No, Suzanne, I'm not signing up. 513 00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,893 Well, did you get to read my book? 514 00:30:13,686 --> 00:30:15,939 Come on. What'd you think? 515 00:30:16,022 --> 00:30:20,235 An... And be brutally honest, but lead with the positive, 516 00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:23,404 because I might shut down and not be able to process the criticism. 517 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:26,199 - Yeah, I read it. - Okay, good. 518 00:30:26,282 --> 00:30:30,537 Keep in mind, this was my first foray into the nonfiction world, so... 519 00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:34,123 I don't wanna talk about it. 520 00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:38,503 Okay. Okay, but did you read the part about me and Cindy hiding, 521 00:30:38,586 --> 00:30:41,840 and how we saw the men drag in Piscadoodoo's body? 522 00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:42,942 Or where you just skimming? 523 00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:48,096 No, I read it. I read every detail of it, and I wish I hadn't. 524 00:30:49,639 --> 00:30:51,891 But I... I wanted you to know what really happened. 525 00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:54,978 Why? Did you think it was gonna make me feel better 526 00:30:55,061 --> 00:30:57,061 to know that it was all a setup? Because it didn't. 527 00:30:57,105 --> 00:30:59,899 - No, but I was thinking... - No, you wasn't thinking! 528 00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:01,985 That's the problem. You wasn't thinkin'. 529 00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:04,946 And if I was thinkin', I would've known that I never... 530 00:31:09,325 --> 00:31:10,994 I never had a chance. 531 00:31:16,624 --> 00:31:19,878 Can I go back to the office now? Please? 532 00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:21,504 Sure, go ahead. 533 00:31:23,673 --> 00:31:24,673 [Alvarez sniffles] 534 00:31:28,678 --> 00:31:30,889 [indistinct chatter] 535 00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,042 [Blanca clears throat] 536 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:05,256 - You workin' on your case, too? - I was trying to. 537 00:32:06,841 --> 00:32:07,841 [Blanca scoffs] 538 00:32:08,384 --> 00:32:11,387 I had a lawyer all lined up and fuckin' ICE won't let him in. 539 00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:14,307 Now, I can't get a free one for months. 540 00:32:16,184 --> 00:32:18,311 - You paying for your lawyer? - I'm my lawyer. 541 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,688 - You're a lawyer? - No. 542 00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:24,025 But you know stuff, right? 543 00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:27,862 Like how you got an extension to find effective counsel? 544 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:29,906 The only effective counsel I can afford is me. 545 00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:33,117 So, if you don't mind, I'm trying to be effective here. 546 00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:36,579 - You understand all this law stuff? - Please let me concentrate. 547 00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:38,957 If you two can't behave like civilized adults, 548 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,249 you'll lose these privileges. 549 00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:42,919 These computers aren't privileges. 550 00:32:43,002 --> 00:32:45,213 They meet the bare minimum of our legal rights. 551 00:32:46,297 --> 00:32:48,800 This is my center. These are my rules. 552 00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:51,302 So, why don't you get your ass off of my chair, 553 00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:54,055 go lay down in my bunk, and shut the fuck up 554 00:32:54,138 --> 00:32:56,391 so I don't have to hear your shit in my ears. 555 00:32:56,474 --> 00:33:01,020 I am a human being. I am trying to use the law library. 556 00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:07,151 Library's closed for repairs. 557 00:33:54,782 --> 00:33:57,035 Dad... Oh, shit. I think I got something. 558 00:33:57,118 --> 00:34:00,413 - I do! I do! - Fuck yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about. 559 00:34:00,496 --> 00:34:02,081 - My good luck charm. - Yeah. 560 00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:06,002 - All right. - Shit. 561 00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:09,005 Another pissant little big mouth bitch. 562 00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:12,925 It feels like that's all you're catchin' today, Tiff. 563 00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:15,511 I'm sorry, Daddy. 564 00:34:15,595 --> 00:34:17,430 Yeah, sorrys and wishes don't catch fishes. 565 00:34:17,513 --> 00:34:18,973 Now, take a look at that map 566 00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:22,643 and find out where we should be goin' instead of this dumbass spot you picked. 567 00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:32,779 It's in English, isn't it? 568 00:34:32,862 --> 00:34:34,614 - [motorboat whirring] - Yeah. 569 00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:40,703 Hey! Check out this beauty! Little Gene here caught this one! 570 00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:42,747 It's nine pounds if it's an ounce! 571 00:34:42,830 --> 00:34:45,917 Well, then it's almost big enough to fit up your huge asshole! 572 00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:49,499 [chuckles] Nice one, Dad. God damn it, I told you to pick a prime, deep spot! 573 00:34:51,714 --> 00:34:54,634 Now them cocksuckers got one up on me. Goddamn, you're dumb. 574 00:34:58,012 --> 00:35:00,348 - We still got time. - You're done fishing. 575 00:35:00,431 --> 00:35:01,431 No. Dad. 576 00:35:03,351 --> 00:35:05,711 You just sit there, try not to screw shit up for me anymore. 577 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:06,896 Okay. 578 00:35:47,895 --> 00:35:52,316 Gloria said we don't need as much. A lot of people are skipping lunch. 579 00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:56,487 Ah, so, Red's shitty cooking finally sparked a hunger strike. 580 00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:59,907 No, it's the pork. Muslims can't eat it. 581 00:36:00,741 --> 00:36:04,787 They'll eat the dinners, which is beef, that the Hindus can't eat. 582 00:36:06,789 --> 00:36:10,918 If Red is such a poor cook, why does she run the kitchen? 583 00:36:11,460 --> 00:36:15,673 Uh, she isn't always like this. SHU fucked her up a little bit. 584 00:36:16,507 --> 00:36:17,842 She's coming back, though. 585 00:36:19,093 --> 00:36:23,514 But, hey, never say anything bad about her cooking to her face, okay? 586 00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:28,352 I would hate to see you deported in a body bag. 587 00:36:28,811 --> 00:36:30,688 What's a body bag? 588 00:36:31,689 --> 00:36:32,689 [Nicky] Uh... 589 00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:38,779 You know, it's like a bag that you put a dead body in. 590 00:36:39,488 --> 00:36:42,491 It's kind of self-explanatory if not particularly poetic. 591 00:36:49,790 --> 00:36:53,586 If there are any other American idioms I can explain to you, 592 00:36:53,669 --> 00:36:56,005 my mouth is at your service. 593 00:37:09,977 --> 00:37:13,189 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? If I'm moving too fast. 594 00:37:13,272 --> 00:37:16,442 I'm just trying to navigate our cultural differences here, okay? 595 00:37:16,525 --> 00:37:18,152 You're in the driver's seat. 596 00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:20,404 You wanna just kiss, we could just kiss. 597 00:37:21,322 --> 00:37:23,658 No. That's not all I want. 598 00:37:28,871 --> 00:37:29,872 Mmm. 599 00:37:30,748 --> 00:37:33,834 It's lovely, but, uh, quid pro quo. 600 00:37:38,422 --> 00:37:42,718 Okay, okay, okay. Wait, wait, wait. That's very nice, but I'm a giver. 601 00:37:45,429 --> 00:37:46,472 Okay. 602 00:37:47,139 --> 00:37:50,476 You know what they say, two tops don't make a right. 603 00:37:58,651 --> 00:37:59,652 Okay. 604 00:38:00,736 --> 00:38:02,238 Okay, okay. Uh... 605 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,283 Okay, I'm gonna pass out, so... 606 00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:10,288 Okay, you have to stop. I'm gonna die. 607 00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:14,583 You are not going to die. 608 00:38:16,919 --> 00:38:17,920 You trust me? 609 00:38:23,884 --> 00:38:26,595 [breathing heavily] 610 00:38:33,019 --> 00:38:34,270 [moaning] 611 00:38:38,024 --> 00:38:41,277 Oh, uh, you have to wait for the orange light to come on. 612 00:38:41,694 --> 00:38:44,089 It's not done brewing yet. That's gonna take for-fuckin'- ever 613 00:38:44,113 --> 00:38:46,490 'cause there's, like, 100 cups of water in there. 614 00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:49,410 But at least once it's done brewing, it's gonna taste like shit. 615 00:38:51,954 --> 00:38:53,539 I was in prison for 18 months, 616 00:38:53,622 --> 00:38:55,124 so I could drink a cup of mud 617 00:38:55,207 --> 00:38:56,977 and it would taste better than what they called coffee. 618 00:38:57,001 --> 00:38:58,001 [both laughing] 619 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:03,174 I, uh... I did 90 days in county. Third DUI is no joke. 620 00:39:03,549 --> 00:39:04,592 Federal Max. 621 00:39:05,259 --> 00:39:07,595 Turns out drug smuggling is no joke, either. 622 00:39:07,970 --> 00:39:11,265 Hmm. Damn. Look at you. 623 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:13,351 Look at me. 624 00:39:18,564 --> 00:39:20,566 - [bell rings] - [man] Meeting time. 625 00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:32,703 You know, the nice thing about doing the setup 626 00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:35,331 is that I don't have to stick around after to do cleanup. 627 00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:36,874 Oh, yeah? 628 00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:40,920 Yeah. After this, I'm totally free. 629 00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:43,130 Me, too. 630 00:39:44,006 --> 00:39:45,606 Maybe we should do something about that. 631 00:39:49,428 --> 00:39:52,848 - Maybe if you did it more like... - Like that? 632 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,143 Sorry, no. Not like that. 633 00:39:56,227 --> 00:40:00,272 It's just... it's been a while since I've been with someone. 634 00:40:00,856 --> 00:40:04,026 It's cool. Sex in sobriety is fucking weird. 635 00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:09,031 - Close your eyes. - Okay. 636 00:40:15,579 --> 00:40:17,790 Sorry. I can't do this. I can't. 637 00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:20,209 It's not you. 638 00:40:21,001 --> 00:40:23,003 You're, um... You're great. 639 00:40:24,463 --> 00:40:26,090 Uh, yeah. 640 00:40:27,174 --> 00:40:30,261 Yeah, uh, I get it. 641 00:40:30,636 --> 00:40:32,638 First time I fucked sober, um... 642 00:40:33,347 --> 00:40:35,099 it messed me up so bad, I smoked crack. 643 00:40:37,184 --> 00:40:38,686 But I didn't pick up a drink. 644 00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,355 Yeah, that's exactly it. 645 00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:46,152 Thank you for understanding. 646 00:40:48,404 --> 00:40:49,905 One day at a time. 647 00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:56,954 I need to talk. 648 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:06,505 - You came through for your girl? - You got what I need? 649 00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:10,301 I got it, but I'm not giving it up until I know that's the right key. 650 00:41:10,384 --> 00:41:12,595 Of course it's the right key. 651 00:41:12,678 --> 00:41:16,515 And I'm not gonna give it to you until you give me the drugs. 652 00:41:16,599 --> 00:41:20,311 Think about it, Taystee. If I give you the drugs now, 653 00:41:20,394 --> 00:41:22,813 what am I supposed to do if I find out you ripped me off, 654 00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:25,774 or even made an honest mistake and messed up? 655 00:41:26,108 --> 00:41:27,568 Either way, I got nothin'. 656 00:41:28,444 --> 00:41:30,863 I can't get a refund, 'cause you're already dead. 657 00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:32,698 So, you've got what you want, 658 00:41:32,781 --> 00:41:34,867 and I'm stuck here with a key that don't work? 659 00:41:36,535 --> 00:41:38,287 I'm just being logical here. 660 00:41:45,044 --> 00:41:48,672 Hey, D, you better give me what I need. 661 00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:04,647 - Mr. Caputo. - Please, Joe. 662 00:42:05,314 --> 00:42:07,191 Mr. Caputo, what are you doing here? 663 00:42:07,816 --> 00:42:10,319 - You know, I don't care. - Wait! 664 00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:15,324 Please, give me a minute. I'm here to apologize. 665 00:42:16,116 --> 00:42:17,116 Okay? 666 00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:22,957 I am sorry if I ever did anything to make you feel unsafe, 667 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,627 or uncomfortable, or objectified. 668 00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:30,756 It's not if you did that. You did do that, all of that. 669 00:42:31,131 --> 00:42:32,174 Right. 670 00:42:32,591 --> 00:42:35,594 If that's how you feel, then I am really sorry. 671 00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:39,473 Stop saying "if." I'm telling you, that's how you made me feel. 672 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:40,808 Okay. 673 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,395 I was a jerk. I was. 674 00:42:44,937 --> 00:42:48,983 I had a little crush on you and I sincerely thought you felt the same. 675 00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,652 But I realize that I was still your boss, 676 00:42:51,735 --> 00:42:55,197 and that made me inviting you to see my band intimidating. 677 00:42:55,281 --> 00:42:58,284 And for that, I am... [exhales sharply] I'm really sorry. 678 00:42:58,784 --> 00:43:01,287 You didn't just invite me to see your band. 679 00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:04,456 You changed my work schedule so I had the night off. 680 00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:08,669 Also, your band was called Side Titties. How was that supposed to make me feel? 681 00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:09,752 It's called Side Boob. 682 00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:13,090 Not that that's much better, but it was a different time... 683 00:43:13,173 --> 00:43:15,801 I turned down your advances and you fired me for it. 684 00:43:16,176 --> 00:43:18,012 Oh, that had nothing to do with it. 685 00:43:19,221 --> 00:43:23,183 - You... You were a terrible CO. - Really? Really? 686 00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:25,311 Did you think that when, under my own initiative, 687 00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:27,771 I listened to recordings of inmate phone calls? 688 00:43:27,855 --> 00:43:31,191 And when I translated them from Spanish, which no other CO could do? 689 00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:32,776 If I was so terrible, 690 00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:35,863 then why didn't you give me a warning before you fired me out of nowhere? 691 00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:38,157 Oh, my God. Seriously? 692 00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:41,118 I mean, if you think you were a good CO, you are delusional. 693 00:43:41,452 --> 00:43:44,288 I only gave you so many chances 'cause I liked you. You... 694 00:43:44,830 --> 00:43:46,874 You actually benefited from my feelings for you. 695 00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:48,709 You are disgusting. 696 00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:51,632 You know what? I take back my apology. There are real victims out there, 697 00:43:51,670 --> 00:43:55,716 and for you to lump in your story with theirs, that is disgusting. 698 00:43:55,799 --> 00:43:57,760 It's bad for the whole movement, which I support. 699 00:43:57,843 --> 00:44:00,429 And also, I was not the warden then, I was on... 700 00:44:00,512 --> 00:44:03,515 - [exclaims] - Eww. Oh, my God! 701 00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:07,394 I... I tore a stitch. I... Oh. 702 00:44:11,106 --> 00:44:13,317 Hey, you seen my sunglasses anywhere? 703 00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:16,779 On the back of your head? I meant, that's where they usually are. 704 00:44:17,446 --> 00:44:18,864 I haven't seen them since lunch. 705 00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,919 Well, I'll keep my eyes open, sir. Maybe one of the inmates has 'em. 706 00:44:22,534 --> 00:44:24,370 I mean, uh, deportees. 707 00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:27,289 I mean, detainees. I'll go look. 708 00:44:32,711 --> 00:44:34,338 Excuse me, señor? 709 00:44:34,421 --> 00:44:38,258 I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how loud me and my friend was before. 710 00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:41,428 You're in America for now. You can't act like that. 711 00:44:41,512 --> 00:44:45,849 I know. I'm sorry. We were just excited to see a computer. 712 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:47,851 Nobody in our village had a computer before, 713 00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:50,729 except the mayor, 'cause he was a very important man. 714 00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:53,941 We were excited to use not just one, but two. 715 00:44:54,650 --> 00:44:58,737 Wow. I'm sorry. Me and my people, we're loud. 716 00:44:59,530 --> 00:45:02,241 I know it's exciting, but you gotta keep it in check. 717 00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:06,286 And thank you for making sure everybody here behave quiet 718 00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:07,690 and for everything in the center. 719 00:45:08,372 --> 00:45:11,291 Yeah, well, I still want you to have a little fun. 720 00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,975 I actually put some of my music on the computers, just to be nice. 721 00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:17,965 I love music. I can't wait to hear that, 722 00:45:18,924 --> 00:45:21,260 whenever you decide we can use the computer again. 723 00:45:22,094 --> 00:45:24,722 I was actually headed over there now to plug them back in. 724 00:45:33,230 --> 00:45:36,608 You should check out Jason Mraz. But don't play it too loud. 725 00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:38,485 Of course. Thank you. 726 00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:44,992 - That's reserved. - But I want to hear "The Remedy." 727 00:45:57,838 --> 00:45:59,065 [in Spanish] If they are going to turn on the computer, 728 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,900 it should be used by someone who actually knows how to use it, right? 729 00:46:00,924 --> 00:46:01,925 Thank you. 730 00:46:03,218 --> 00:46:04,938 [in English] How did you get him to do that? 731 00:46:04,970 --> 00:46:07,574 [in Spanish] That's the one good thing about having gone to prison. 732 00:46:07,598 --> 00:46:10,958 [in English] That you learn to deal with a rainbow of assholes and their power trips. 733 00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:13,687 That asshole likes to feel like a real American hero. 734 00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:15,451 [in Spanish] So you make him feel like one. 735 00:46:16,064 --> 00:46:19,526 [in English] That asshole wants to feel like he is his mama's favorite boy. 736 00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,380 So, you act like a proud mama every time he does something nice for you. 737 00:46:22,404 --> 00:46:24,948 So, when they treat us like animals, we need to kiss their ass? 738 00:46:27,075 --> 00:46:28,327 [in Spanish] Karla, right? 739 00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:31,288 [in English] I tried to stand up to them once. 740 00:46:32,122 --> 00:46:33,332 [in Spanish] It made it worse. 741 00:46:33,749 --> 00:46:36,877 [in English] All I got was beaten and fucked up even more. 742 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,564 [in Spanish] If they treat you like an animal... 743 00:46:39,588 --> 00:46:41,348 [in English] then act like you've been tamed. 744 00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:42,799 [in Spanish] Like a dog. 745 00:46:42,841 --> 00:46:46,321 [in English] But dogs figured out how to get humans to feed them and pick up their shit. 746 00:46:47,179 --> 00:46:51,391 Look, in the wild, I'm a fucking wolf. But in these cages... 747 00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:53,395 [in Spanish] I can't bite the hand that feeds me. 748 00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:59,066 [in English] Thank you for getting him to plug in the computers. 749 00:47:00,192 --> 00:47:01,318 Of course. 750 00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:04,571 [sighs] 751 00:47:06,031 --> 00:47:09,076 Hey, we're on the same team. 752 00:47:10,994 --> 00:47:12,037 They are the enemy. 753 00:47:23,799 --> 00:47:25,467 You can't just sit there and watch me. 754 00:47:27,135 --> 00:47:29,346 It's called LexisNexis. 755 00:47:30,138 --> 00:47:33,392 It's like Google, if all you're looking at is old legal cases. 756 00:47:35,185 --> 00:47:36,687 How did you learn all this shit? 757 00:47:37,479 --> 00:47:41,024 After my husband died, I did office work for a law firm. 758 00:47:42,067 --> 00:47:44,467 But then they got shut down for scamming insurance companies. 759 00:47:45,237 --> 00:47:46,405 [in Spanish] Shit. 760 00:47:46,947 --> 00:47:49,533 Sounds like you dealt with a rainbow of assholes, too. 761 00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:51,827 [both laughing] 762 00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,419 [in English] What I'm doing is looking up examples 763 00:48:01,461 --> 00:48:04,298 of overturned deportation cases, okay? 764 00:48:04,381 --> 00:48:05,507 I click here. 765 00:48:06,425 --> 00:48:07,759 - Here? - Uh-huh. 766 00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:12,097 Well, I must say everyone did very well on this practice exam. 767 00:48:12,180 --> 00:48:15,434 Ms. Kerson. Ms. Munoz, very nice. 768 00:48:15,893 --> 00:48:18,437 [exclaims] I'm gonna send this to my grandma. 769 00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,230 Yo, she's gonna shit herself. 770 00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:21,666 Now, of course, this is just the first one, 771 00:48:21,690 --> 00:48:24,860 so it's only going to help you if you review what you did wrong. 772 00:48:24,943 --> 00:48:28,280 I want you to partner up outside of class. Ms. Doggett. 773 00:48:29,615 --> 00:48:30,949 And Ms. Cabrera. 774 00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:34,036 Oh, hell yeah! 69! 775 00:48:34,786 --> 00:48:37,122 Sixty-nine is barely a passing score, Ms. Cabrera. 776 00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:38,874 Yeah, but a 69 is hilarious. 777 00:48:38,957 --> 00:48:41,126 Okay! Thank you all so much. That's all for today. 778 00:48:41,209 --> 00:48:43,795 Ms. Doggett, can I actually have you stick around for a moment? 779 00:48:49,426 --> 00:48:52,304 I, uh, wanted to talk to you about your exam. 780 00:48:52,387 --> 00:48:54,765 Why? I wasn't cheating. We were sharing. 781 00:48:54,848 --> 00:48:58,226 Okay. Well, when you copied Ms. Cabrera's answers, 782 00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:00,395 you made some spelling errors. 783 00:49:00,687 --> 00:49:02,773 Even the answers that she got right, you got wrong 784 00:49:02,856 --> 00:49:04,858 because you flipped around some letters. 785 00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:09,404 Uh, look at this map. Where she wrote "Kansas," you wrote "Sankas." 786 00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:11,990 Or where she wrote "Texas," you wrote "taxes," 787 00:49:12,074 --> 00:49:15,994 which is a word, but is not the name of a state in the South. 788 00:49:17,037 --> 00:49:20,457 Whatever. I don't care, 'cause I quit. 789 00:49:21,500 --> 00:49:23,752 I told you I didn't want to take stupid tests 790 00:49:23,835 --> 00:49:27,506 and now you're trying to tell me I'm so stupid I can't even cheat right? 791 00:49:27,589 --> 00:49:29,108 I don't need to put up with this shit. 792 00:49:29,132 --> 00:49:31,969 Nope, nope. Uh, Ms. Doggett, this is actually good news. 793 00:49:32,594 --> 00:49:36,306 Can I ask you a question? Do you avoid looking at maps? 794 00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:39,309 No. I don't need 'em. I know where I'm going. 795 00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:43,397 Okay, but when you do look at maps, do you feel really dizzy? 796 00:49:45,315 --> 00:49:46,441 Yeah, kinda. 797 00:49:49,319 --> 00:49:51,029 I think you have a learning disability. 798 00:49:53,532 --> 00:49:56,284 I am not R-worded. 799 00:49:56,368 --> 00:49:59,329 No, you're not, um, but I think that you might be dyslexic. 800 00:50:00,038 --> 00:50:02,207 I wanna get some diagnostic tests to be sure, 801 00:50:02,290 --> 00:50:04,292 but all signs point to yes, which is great. 802 00:50:04,376 --> 00:50:05,669 No. It's fucking great, yeah. 803 00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:07,587 It is. The diagnosis is great. 804 00:50:07,671 --> 00:50:10,799 Because once we know what the problem is, then we can help you. 805 00:50:12,050 --> 00:50:14,761 You know who else was dyslexic? Steve Jobs. 806 00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:19,850 Whoopi Goldberg. Tom Cruise. Emmy award-winning actor Henry Winkler. 807 00:50:20,142 --> 00:50:23,311 - The Fonz got what I got? [chuckles] - Yeah. 808 00:50:23,395 --> 00:50:26,732 Lots of successful people do, but you need tools to work with it. 809 00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:28,668 So, I'm gonna talk to the warden about getting you a tutor. 810 00:50:28,692 --> 00:50:31,069 And I'll make sure that you get extra time on the GED exam. 811 00:50:31,153 --> 00:50:34,156 It's a common allowance that they'll make for people with learning issues. 812 00:50:35,657 --> 00:50:36,742 Okay. 813 00:50:40,370 --> 00:50:42,789 I do like Whoopi Goldberg. She's funny. 814 00:50:43,832 --> 00:50:46,793 Ghost was one of my favorite movies for a minute. 815 00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:49,755 - I'm a fan of Sister Act myself. - Oh, yeah! Me, too. 816 00:50:51,423 --> 00:50:53,175 I'll see you next time, Ms. Doggett. 817 00:50:53,675 --> 00:50:54,675 Okay. 818 00:50:58,013 --> 00:51:00,265 [indistinct chatter] 819 00:51:08,899 --> 00:51:11,777 Fuck this. I ain't weighing this crap to know we lost. 820 00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:14,946 We could win the smallest fish contest. The prize is 40 bucks. 821 00:51:15,614 --> 00:51:20,202 Suck that. I don't need a prize for being a fucking try-hard loser. 822 00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:23,663 Oh, if it ain't Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass. 823 00:51:24,998 --> 00:51:26,041 What the fuck? 824 00:51:26,666 --> 00:51:29,836 What kind of moron names their boat "Ban Mass"? 825 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,797 What kinda anti-Catholic shit is that? 826 00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,466 - It says "Bass Man." - Don't even try, son. 827 00:51:34,549 --> 00:51:37,260 You can't teach a man how to fish or how to read, apparently. 828 00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:40,972 Are you calling me stupid, you anti-Catholic motherfucker? 829 00:51:42,265 --> 00:51:45,060 Yeah, that's right. You walk fast like the little bitches you are! 830 00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:54,236 You don't come to my town and disrespect me like that, 831 00:51:54,319 --> 00:51:56,113 you little pissant pieces of shit. 832 00:51:56,988 --> 00:51:58,508 You got something to say, too, stupid? 833 00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:39,156 Alex... 834 00:52:42,367 --> 00:52:43,952 this isn't working. 835 00:52:46,371 --> 00:52:47,873 The open thing. 836 00:52:48,999 --> 00:52:53,253 I do... I... I do need some kind of a release, and I tried, 837 00:52:53,336 --> 00:52:56,047 but I don't think that this is the answer. 838 00:52:59,384 --> 00:53:00,969 Please call me. 839 00:53:01,803 --> 00:53:03,305 I need you. 840 00:53:07,142 --> 00:53:08,894 And then, I might have, uh... 841 00:53:10,353 --> 00:53:12,480 - grabbed my balls. - Oh, Jesus, Joe. 842 00:53:12,564 --> 00:53:15,525 - I tore a stitch! - I told you not to go over there. 843 00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:17,861 I... I... I figured I could make things better, 844 00:53:17,944 --> 00:53:20,947 that I could convince her to take it down off Facebook. 845 00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:22,032 [cell phone chimes] 846 00:53:25,911 --> 00:53:27,454 Oh, God. She named you. 847 00:53:37,797 --> 00:53:43,470 Excuse me, if I found what looks like a large slick of human blood, 848 00:53:43,553 --> 00:53:46,014 I should report it to you first before I clean it, yes? 849 00:53:46,097 --> 00:53:49,726 Yes, absolutely report it first. Don't touch a possible crime scene. 850 00:53:50,143 --> 00:53:53,855 Yes, that is what I thought. It's in the stairwell, over here. 851 00:53:54,481 --> 00:53:57,651 It's a copious amount. I think perhaps a head injury? 852 00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:00,486 Whoa. [sniffs] 853 00:54:06,117 --> 00:54:08,703 [grunts] Yep, definitely smells like blood. 854 00:54:08,787 --> 00:54:10,455 Do you want me to clean it now? 855 00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:14,834 No. Uh, no, you just go clean some other things. 856 00:54:14,918 --> 00:54:16,336 I'll... I'll call this in. 857 00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:25,947 [Adeola] Did you get your phone? 858 00:54:25,971 --> 00:54:28,682 I did. I did. Still got some charge on it, too. 859 00:54:28,765 --> 00:54:31,935 Plus, got some razors and joints. He fell for it, right? 860 00:54:32,018 --> 00:54:34,729 Yes, Sherlock Holmes has a blood trail to follow now. 861 00:54:34,813 --> 00:54:37,399 Thank God these bitches got their monthlies synced up. 862 00:54:37,482 --> 00:54:40,402 Easy for you to say when you're not the blood gatherer. 863 00:55:00,547 --> 00:55:04,050 Oh, man! There really is a huge mess in here. 864 00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,343 Just like we thought. 865 00:55:05,427 --> 00:55:07,147 It's a good thing we're here to clean it up. 866 00:55:07,595 --> 00:55:09,889 - Very convincing. - Get in there. 867 00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:22,027 [whimpering] 868 00:55:22,652 --> 00:55:24,029 [sobbing] 869 00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:27,741 Red? Red, are you okay? 870 00:55:31,077 --> 00:55:32,370 [in Russian] Forgive me. 871 00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:35,582 Please. 872 00:55:35,665 --> 00:55:37,709 [in English] It's okay. [shushes] 873 00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,888 - Hey. - Do you want to explain this to me? 874 00:55:53,016 --> 00:55:57,020 There's important information in here about what happened to Piscatella. 875 00:55:57,103 --> 00:56:00,023 And also some weird-ass drawings. 876 00:56:00,690 --> 00:56:04,235 - Do... Do you think this is true? - Does it matter? 877 00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:05,319 Hey! 878 00:56:06,946 --> 00:56:07,989 Sit. 879 00:56:12,577 --> 00:56:15,705 Of course it matters. What's your problem? 880 00:56:17,248 --> 00:56:22,337 Taystee, there could be something in here that overturns your entire case! 881 00:56:22,420 --> 00:56:25,048 Wh... Why are you dismissing it like it's nothing? 882 00:56:25,131 --> 00:56:26,674 'Cause it is nothing. 883 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:28,134 You think she made it up? 884 00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:31,846 I think it don't matter either way. 885 00:56:33,056 --> 00:56:35,934 If this is true, you need to get this to your lawyer. 886 00:56:38,436 --> 00:56:41,022 - [scoffs] - What the fuck is wrong with you? 887 00:56:42,357 --> 00:56:45,193 Yell at me! Be real with me! 888 00:56:46,403 --> 00:56:49,406 - I feel like I'm talking to a ghost. - I ain't got nothing to say. 889 00:56:50,156 --> 00:56:54,369 Too busy feeling sorry for yourself to do something about your situation? 890 00:56:54,452 --> 00:56:56,413 Every fucking day since I got this job, 891 00:56:56,496 --> 00:56:59,457 before I got this job, I've been fighting for you! 892 00:57:00,417 --> 00:57:03,628 So, could you just please pretend to care? For my sake? 893 00:57:03,711 --> 00:57:06,423 Why should I do shit for your sake? Huh? 894 00:57:06,506 --> 00:57:09,884 You got this fancy-ass job and I gotta die in here. 895 00:57:09,968 --> 00:57:11,928 I don't tell you how to live your life. 896 00:57:12,011 --> 00:57:13,572 You just can't give up. You cannot give up... 897 00:57:13,596 --> 00:57:18,643 You don't get to tell me how I feel or how I should feel! 898 00:57:18,726 --> 00:57:21,688 You think the judge is gonna give a shit about the truth now? 899 00:57:21,771 --> 00:57:23,731 Because they damn sure didn't before! 900 00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:24,983 You were there! 901 00:57:26,401 --> 00:57:27,944 Fine. I don't know shit. 902 00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:30,238 But you don't know shit, either. 903 00:57:30,780 --> 00:57:33,783 Until you got this, you didn't even know what happened that night. 904 00:57:33,867 --> 00:57:35,785 You didn't know there were witnesses. 905 00:57:38,830 --> 00:57:40,957 You can't just give up hope. 906 00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:44,794 Because then... then you're already dead, Taystee. 907 00:57:48,923 --> 00:57:50,091 Please. 908 00:57:51,384 --> 00:57:52,427 This is me. I know you. 909 00:58:00,018 --> 00:58:01,227 I can't hope. 910 00:58:04,147 --> 00:58:09,027 I... I don't have no more fight left in me. 911 00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:12,739 I'm exhausted. 912 00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:16,034 Exhausted. I can't. 913 00:58:17,285 --> 00:58:20,622 Y... You don't know what's gonna happen. 914 00:58:21,789 --> 00:58:24,959 You gotta keep fighting, so you can find out. 915 00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:28,463 You gotta keep showing up. You gotta keep trying. 916 00:58:36,888 --> 00:58:40,058 ♪ You're broken down and tired ♪ 917 00:58:40,808 --> 00:58:44,938 ♪ Of living life on a merry-go-round ♪ 918 00:58:45,021 --> 00:58:48,066 ♪ And you can't find a fighter ♪ 919 00:58:48,942 --> 00:58:52,320 ♪ But I see it in you So we gonna walk it out ♪ 920 00:58:52,654 --> 00:58:58,201 ♪ And move mountains ♪ 921 00:58:59,410 --> 00:59:00,703 ♪ We gonna walk it out ♪ 922 00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:07,168 ♪ And move mountains ♪ 923 00:59:07,794 --> 00:59:10,338 ♪ And we'll rise up ♪ 924 00:59:10,421 --> 00:59:12,215 ♪ High like the waves ♪ 925 00:59:12,298 --> 00:59:16,177 ♪ We'll rise up In spite of the ache ♪ 926 00:59:16,261 --> 00:59:17,887 ♪ We'll rise up ♪ 927 00:59:18,471 --> 00:59:24,227 ♪ And we'll do it A thousands times again ♪ 928 00:59:24,310 --> 00:59:28,398 ♪ For you ♪ 929 00:59:28,481 --> 00:59:32,735 ♪ For you ♪ 930 00:59:32,819 --> 00:59:34,988 ♪ For you ♪ 931 00:59:36,656 --> 00:59:40,868 ♪ For you ♪