1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,640
[cell door slams]
2
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,712
[theme song playing]
3
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,833
[cell door slams]
4
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,552
[cell door slams]
5
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,157
[indistinct chatter]
6
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,317
Wow. That's real pretty.
7
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,959
The drawing's nice, too.
8
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:34,779
Thanks.
9
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,269
You must be feeling better
if you're out here doing art.
10
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,640
Yeah, I guess.
11
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:41,720
So...
12
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,160
you're welcome.
13
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,271
No, I'm not welcome.
14
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,272
I didn't take your stupid pills.
15
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,915
Okay, tough girl.
Can I have 'em back, then?
16
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,560
I dumped 'em.
17
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,277
Yeah, you did.
Straight down your sexy throat.
18
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,717
Hey, Daddy. Barb wants to see you.
19
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,917
All right. Thanks, babe.
20
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:13,839
Hey, Barb.
21
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,160
Hi, lamb chop.
22
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,320
Light bothering you again today?
23
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,999
- Obviously.
- Right. Just want you to know I care.
24
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,912
Oh, I know you care.
25
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,593
You're my Daddy-O.
26
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,592
That's right. I got you.
27
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:31,152
So. The rats. [chuckles] Hilarious.
28
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,515
[mimics rats nibbling]
29
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,479
- Thanks. Thanks.
- [laughs]
30
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:36,776
Oh, my God. What I would have given
31
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,838
to see the looks on their fuckwit faces,
those cows.
32
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:42,310
Surprise, bitches! You got rats!
33
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,073
- Mmm-hmm.
- [chuckles]
34
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,231
You really outdid yourself on that one.
35
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,320
It was epic...
36
00:02:47,321 --> 00:02:51,394
No. I mean, I think
you really outdid yourself.
37
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,552
I don't feel good about this.
I don't know what's next.
38
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,439
And sometimes,
I don't know why I keep you around.
39
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,479
You keep me around so you don't have to
bother with the details.
40
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,960
Trust me, okay?
41
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,952
Chatty Cathy distracted the COs,
42
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,033
the rats were released, and bam, money.
43
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,069
Because of the rats,
44
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,153
the suits think
that C-Block was lazy and dirty.
45
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,472
So the warden will have to give us
the cheese now.
46
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,472
Our people will have the good jobs.
47
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,631
It's been a week, chiquita.
48
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,356
Have you seen any jobs coming our way?
'Cause I sure haven't heard boo.
49
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:28,071
Oh, and some little cock-pocket
called me "Babs" yesterday.
50
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,389
Fucking Babs?
51
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,638
That is unacceptable.
You are losing control.
52
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,393
I'm not losing control.
53
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,837
You know who they're all gonna love
even more once this all plays out?
54
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,596
Their gal, Barb?
55
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,911
Yeah, lady. You.
56
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,751
And who loves you the most? Look.
57
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,310
[house music playing]
58
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,994
[scoffs] This is the easiest money
on Earth. Look at that.
59
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,594
That's all he wants?
60
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,070
[Daddy] Of course not.
Guys always want more.
61
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,992
But that's up to you.
62
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,520
If you wanna make more, you do more.
63
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:25,033
If not, you grab a drink, food,
flirt and dance and call it a night.
64
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,239
- Hey.
- Hi.
65
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,199
- You having a good time?
- [snorts]
66
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,511
What do you think? Here.
67
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,280
Yeah.
68
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,555
[snorts]
69
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,196
[man] Yeah.
70
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,033
For real, you'll be fine.
71
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,879
So, are they all drug dealers?
72
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,395
You think all Latin rich guys
are Scarface?
73
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,358
- [chuckles]
- They're businessmen.
74
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,274
Making bank off the other white powder
Americans are addicted to.
75
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,753
See Alejandro over there?
76
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,400
He owns a bunch
of sugarcane plantations in Brazil.
77
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,761
Vanessa's only been hanging out with him
for a few months,
78
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,719
and she's already made enough
to not work the whole school year.
79
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,034
What are you studying?
80
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,230
Veterinary science.
81
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,711
What is that, like 300 grand
by the time you're done?
82
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,712
How many cats you gotta spay
to pay that off?
83
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,315
[chuckles] So many cats.
84
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,436
Right?
85
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,513
Or you can play with one horny rich guy.
86
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:42,600
One.
87
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,760
Come on.
88
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,594
[mouse clicking]
89
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,720
[knocking at door]
90
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,392
What's the point of knocking
if you're not gonna wait?
91
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,275
How did this happen?
92
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,430
Do you mean how did rats infiltrate
the cheese warehouse,
93
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,560
or how did they get that rat
into that tiny, little orange jumpsuit?
94
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,871
There was rat shit in every shipment.
95
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:20,113
All you had to do was ensure
a passably hygienic workspace.
96
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,431
You are in charge on the ground here.
97
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,037
- You could be...
- Fired?
98
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,635
You're gonna fire me? Go ahead.
99
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,720
Say it.
100
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,150
Right.
101
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,755
If you were gonna fire me,
you would have done it already.
102
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,071
I bet you're the type
who sends a quick text
103
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,736
when it's time to break up with someone.
104
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,673
Which might be the only thing we have
in common, other than...
105
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,760
You know.
106
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,000
So...
107
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:47,309
you want my help, don't you?
108
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,149
MCC's stock is in free-fall
with the riot and the manhunt,
109
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,469
and now losing Grace.
110
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:57,116
That cheese deal was offsetting the cost
of housing a full quarter of our inmates.
111
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,317
I'm sorry,
112
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:03,110
but those are PR and budget issues,
squarely in the purview of corporate.
113
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,510
I am way downstream.
114
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,679
You know, for all of his...
115
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,749
character flaws, at least Joe was willing
to work with me.
116
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,274
This should be a partnership.
117
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,636
Yeah. Two points on that.
118
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,996
One, JJoe would have done anything
to get up your skirt.
119
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,471
And, two, that partnership ended in a riot
120
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:27,589
during which Joe pretended
you were a mentally ill federal inmate.
121
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,720
So not exactly a model
for productive collaboration.
122
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,200
Fine.
123
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,840
Can I at least sit here
and brainstorm, then? Out loud?
124
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,276
- You're not really asking, are you?
- No.
125
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,994
But I will order Panera.
126
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,039
And if you want some control
over what's headed downstream,
127
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,955
maybe you can help me think.
128
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,397
I am gluten and dairy-free.
129
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,278
All right, looks like you're next, babe.
130
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,319
He's really spending a quality
two and a half minutes with each of us.
131
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,199
Oh, I'm not waiting.
I'm just here keeping you company.
132
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,920
- Oh. Sweet.
- Mmm.
133
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,840
But isn't your vaginal health
important to you?
134
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,912
Because I know it's important to me.
135
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,276
I'm saving all of this for Dr. Chin.
136
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,376
Frankly, I thought it was Dr. Mouth
that you were into.
137
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,198
But if it's Dr. Chin you're digging...
138
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,431
Dr. Chin is not a euphemism.
139
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:28,518
Dr. Chin is a small Asian woman with an MD
from Hopkins that doesn't take insurance,
140
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:32,355
but she has a full herbal tea bar
in her waiting room.
141
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,875
I'm gonna go see her
when I'm out in nine months.
142
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,675
The time it takes to grow a new human.
143
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,677
Getting out will absolutely feel
like being born again.
144
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:48,976
Yeah, and I'll probably still be here
145
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,256
when you're at least a preschooler,
maybe even kindergartener.
146
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,280
That's nothing.
147
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,040
That's a blip.
148
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,438
So you're telling me
to keep my Dr. Chin up?
149
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,749
Mmm-hmm.
150
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,672
And your Dr. Mouth smiling.
151
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,392
Well, at least this color's nice on you.
152
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,398
[scoffs] Thanks.
153
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,193
Not sure I'm into the Florida crowd,
154
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,956
but I'll be perfectly fine
if I never have to wear khaki again.
155
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:11,960
You doing okay?
156
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,997
Uh, not really. [sighs]
157
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,869
Honey, Max makes camp look
about as scary as a church bake sale.
158
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,395
Yeah, well, I've seen some bitches
go crazy over lemon bars.
159
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,711
- [chuckling]
- Florida, huh?
160
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,953
Relatively drama-free, but also
about as boring as a bowl of nothing.
161
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,920
I once watched a lady
watch a spider for 40 minutes.
162
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,275
Damn.
163
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,320
Imagine what it was like
for the lady watching you
164
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,776
watch the lady watching the spider.
165
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,599
[both laughing]
166
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,399
[Lorna] It's, like, the best secret.
167
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,117
It's like if everywhere you went,
168
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:49,797
you just had a tiny, tiny kitten
in your shirt pocket
169
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,758
and nobody knew.
170
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,514
You could take it onto the bus,
you could take it to the movies,
171
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,990
and just everywhere you went
it was with you.
172
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,471
But if you talked about it,
then people would know.
173
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,656
And it wouldn't be a secret.
174
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,275
Yes. That's true.
175
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,556
And people are always giving
pregnant ladies discounts
176
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,400
and letting them go
to the front of the line.
177
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,073
[chuckles]
178
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,152
Maybe you should test your powers.
179
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,391
You are so right.
180
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,758
[chuckles] Hello, uh, I'm pregnant.
181
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,911
I was wondering,
could I go in front of you?
182
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,560
[chuckles] Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
183
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,113
Hold up.
Who said you could cut, Barfie doll?
184
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,513
Oh, I have a secret.
185
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,150
I'm pregnant.
186
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:41,274
- I'm actually two people. [chuckles]
- Yeah. And I contain multitudes.
187
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,238
Oh, come on, let her go.
188
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,791
We got a baby on board!
Move aside, let her through.
189
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,030
Especially you.
190
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,996
Let's go, Kitten! [chuckles]
191
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,519
So how is this my job now?
192
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,512
- I got promoted.
- To what?
193
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,479
To not having to do this anymore.
194
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:08,834
Congratulations, you are now head of Rec.
195
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,593
Here's your uniform.
196
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:11,716
What...
197
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,156
First thing,
you need to replace Chatty Cathy
198
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,436
since she fake-died her way
into the real SHU.
199
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,960
That was fake?
200
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,040
Dude...
201
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,000
Wait. Hang the fuck on.
202
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:25,198
What does this stupid radio show
have to do with Rec?
203
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,671
If it's not a job
and it's not a punishment, it's Rec.
204
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:34,510
Oh, and the show needs to be informational
and educationally oriented.
205
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,273
Here's a list of acceptable topics.
206
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,479
This blows.
207
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,155
Although it might get me more chances
at Fantasy Inmate points.
208
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,638
You know what the Fantasy Inmate draft is?
A slave auction.
209
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:50,234
[chuckling] Well...
we're not enslaving anyone.
210
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,999
MCC is, but it's not like
they're doing shit for us personally.
211
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,110
Think about it.
212
00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,319
You price and trade people
based on specific skills and traits,
213
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,679
then you profit off their actions
while you watch from the veranda.
214
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:08,197
The whole thing is morally reprehensible.
215
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,397
I'm sure there are good people
on both sides.
216
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,560
Don't forget your ball sack.
217
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,395
Mommy, you're here!
218
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,278
Oh, baby!
219
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,752
Oh, it's so good to see
your little face. [sighs]
220
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,950
Oh.
221
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,033
Lucy, why do you smell like...
[sniffs] feet?
222
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,560
So this is the place, huh?
223
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,714
This is the place.
224
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:43,916
You must be Aleida?
225
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,600
That's right.
226
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,990
Mayelin. Come in, I'll get the others.
227
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,514
[man snoring]
228
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,236
Who's that?
229
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,279
I got you a doll.
230
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,711
[Emiliano] She don't play
with those no more.
231
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,716
Where's Eva?
232
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,800
Sometimes she goes home
with this kid after school.
233
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:10,840
What's his name?
234
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,515
"His"? She got a fucking boyfriend?
235
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,193
She's 12 years old.
236
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,235
[sighs]
237
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,037
What's up with you two?
Ain't you happy to see your mother?
238
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,713
Are you here to get us out?
239
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,189
I'm working on that.
240
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,430
- Bullshit.
- [Aleida] Hey!
241
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,520
Don't talk like that.
242
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,000
What the hell do you know about it?
243
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,154
Punk.
244
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,640
You little bastard.
245
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:35,776
- Stop that!
- [Aleida] Hey!
246
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,280
He fucking started it!
247
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,279
He did, the little shit!
248
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,280
Boys, go upstairs.
249
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,915
Can you people be quiet? I'm sleeping.
250
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,576
How many more brats you got living here?
251
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,910
Just the two boys, your four
and my daughter, Raquel.
252
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,593
And her screaming baby.
253
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,993
My granddaughter's teething.
254
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,840
And my brother's staying with us
for a while.
255
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,480
You don't know how lucky these kids are.
256
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,080
Siblings almost never get to stay
together. But I took them all.
257
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,191
And I'm sure you're getting checks
for them all.
258
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,480
Can I have a little privacy
with my kids now, please?
259
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,432
[sighs] So, uh...
260
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,389
What's going on with you guys?
261
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,790
This, Mom. This is going on.
262
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,877
Mommy, I want to go home with you.
263
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,519
Not today, baby.
264
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,436
But soon, I promise.
265
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,597
Okay? It's okay. It's okay.
266
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:30,756
Hey.
267
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Hmm?
268
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:37,920
Take one.
269
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:41,240
They're healthy.
270
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,272
I'm gonna sell a bunch of these.
That's how I'm gonna get you back.
271
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,630
Eva don't need to be going
to no boy's house.
272
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,393
And this one's all sad over here.
273
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,680
You need to take care of them.
274
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,479
Like you took care of us?
275
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,438
Leaving us here in this shithole?
276
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,319
What took you so long to come and see us?
277
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,232
It hasn't been that long.
278
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,040
I've been trying to get a job
and an apartment.
279
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:06,976
It's not as easy as you'd think.
280
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,229
'Cause you got a record.
281
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,040
Right, smartass.
282
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,272
So don't do no crime, and you'll
never have to know what this is like.
283
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,432
I heard Daya's baby got adopted
by some rich lady.
284
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:18,560
How do we get in on that?
285
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,916
I don't even wanna go back with you.
286
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,590
Lucy does.
287
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:27,514
'Cause she don't remember
what it's like livin' with you.
288
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,880
Daddy, how much longer is it gonna be?
289
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,235
Asking for a friend?
290
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,916
Well, yeah. I'm asking for everybody.
And for me.
291
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,431
Bothering me ain't gonna make it
come faster. Now kick off.
292
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,959
How's your world, Hellman?
293
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,110
What do you want?
294
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,034
What do you think I want?
Fiends be feenin'.
295
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,881
Maybe you should have thought of that
before you blew up the pipeline.
296
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,718
- What?
- The cheese.
297
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,395
The cheese has left the building.
298
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,314
Grace Grocer has pulled out
like a sloppy teenager.
299
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,393
- What does that have to do with...
- Un-fucking-believable.
300
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,517
And what's Daddy short for, huh? Stupid?
301
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,311
No cheese jobs, no cheese.
302
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,119
And by "cheese" I mean drugs.
303
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,517
How the fuck was I supposed to know
you were bringing it in with the cheese?
304
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,274
You weren't. You were supposed to
mind your own damn business
305
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,919
and not fuck up a good thing.
306
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,918
We'll have to find a new way in.
307
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,235
Fuck you.
308
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,350
If I do find a new way, D-Block's out.
309
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,480
You're out.
310
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,112
Now move away, inmate.
311
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,717
[men whispering in Spanish]
312
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:22,836
[Felipe clears throat]
313
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,916
- Hey. What's wrong?
- Nothing. All right? Don't worry about it.
314
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,877
[sighs]
315
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,676
Oh. [groaning]
316
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,592
Hey. It was an accident.
317
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,320
- All right? I swear.
- Oh, my God. Talia.
318
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,875
What the fuck, man?
What the fuck happened?
319
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,440
I don't know. We were really into it,
320
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,670
- and then...
- Shit, no.
321
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,920
- I don't know, she fell or something.
- Shit, girl...
322
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,110
What do you mean, she fell?
323
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:01,750
Hey, I said I don't know!
She's shouting. She won't cool out!
324
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,069
And she's all fucked up!
325
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,310
It's not my fucking fault!
326
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,675
Yes, it is your fucking fault!
327
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,992
Hey, you heard what he said.
It was an accident.
328
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,976
People are waking up.
We gotta get her out of here.
329
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,229
Fuck!
330
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,349
No. No.
331
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,680
We can't move her until everyone's gone.
332
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,796
Lock the door and stay inside with her.
333
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,519
Don't let anyone in.
334
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,717
And you got to get out of here, man.
335
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,360
If anyone asks, you went back to the city
late last night.
336
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,040
Go!
337
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,800
[sighs]
338
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,656
[Ericsson] Based on
copious witness testimony,
339
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,435
the US attorney has charged you
and four others with inciting the riot.
340
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,309
They allege that you created
and maintained a secret riot bunker,
341
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,710
and there's also evidence
that directly implicates you
342
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,157
in the kidnapping and false imprisonment
of Officer Desmond Piscatella.
343
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,197
I've negotiated a plea deal for you.
344
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,638
If you admit to the riot charges,
they're willing to drop everything else.
345
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,040
This is very good.
346
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,157
It will garner you the shortest
possible sentence. Do you understand?
347
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:05,955
Ms. Reznikov?
348
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,310
This is...
349
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:12,360
not good.
350
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,270
This is...
351
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,234
not good at all.
352
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:22,473
Trust me, the lighter sentence
for the charge of inciting the riot is...
353
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,597
I incited nothing.
354
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,399
Here's an insight.
355
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,520
This is complete khuinya. "Bullshit."
356
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,510
You have a family, yes? Three sons?
357
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:44,313
The best chance you have
of seeing them again is this deal.
358
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:49,352
In fact, I might call it your only chance.
359
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,672
Still ten years, but you can
knock that down with good behavior.
360
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,434
This is wrong.
361
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,995
I'm being scapegoated.
362
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,197
It was a riot.
363
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:06,797
By definition,
many, many people were involved.
364
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,997
I don't deserve this.
365
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,198
If you go to trial, you will not win.
366
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,396
Full stop.
367
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,073
You'll die in here.
368
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,239
[crying]
369
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,870
All rise. Court is now in session.
370
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,395
The Honorable Judge
Roland Corcoran presiding.
371
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,039
I didn't do it.
372
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,480
I didn't kill nobody.
373
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,392
Tasha, listen to me, it doesn't matter.
374
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,915
The best legal advice I can give you
is take the plea.
375
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,600
No offense,
but if you gave the best legal advice,
376
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,080
would you be the free lawyer?
377
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,675
No offense, but being the free lawyer
makes me an expert
378
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,390
on how hopeless your case is
if you take it to trial. Don't do it.
379
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,393
In the matter of
The United States v. Tasha Jefferson,
380
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,598
Ms. Jefferson, how do you plead
to the charge of incitement to riot?
381
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,398
Guilty, Your Honor.
382
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,496
Ms. Jefferson, do you know
that by pleading guilty,
383
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,079
you lose the right to a jury trial?
384
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,753
Yes, Your Honor.
385
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,399
Do you give up that right?
386
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,675
- Yes, Your Honor.
- [judge] So entered.
387
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,116
In the matter of
The United States v. Tasha Jefferson,
388
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,995
Ms. Jefferson, how do you plead to
the charge of murder in the second degree?
389
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,194
[sighs]
390
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,999
Not guilty, Your Honor.
391
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,436
[cheering]
392
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,273
- [banging gavel]
- [judge] Order! Order!
393
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,880
The plea of "not guilty" has been entered.
394
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,429
- [indistinct whispering]
- A trial by jury will be set for...
395
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,797
The ACLU is putting
a legal team together to help you.
396
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,872
See? They believe in me.
397
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,680
It's not that I don't believe you
or believe in you.
398
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,280
It's that I believe you won't get
the justice you're hoping for.
399
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,795
- But I do wish you the best.
- [scoffs]
400
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,877
Stay strong, Tasha.
401
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,599
- [cheering]
- [gavel banging]
402
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,558
We're gonna fight this all the way.
403
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,393
- [bangs gavel]
- Order! Order!
404
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,920
- [woman 1] Black lives matter!
- [woman 2] Stay strong, girl!
405
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,555
[yodeling]
406
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,155
- [blows whistle]
- Stop. God. Stop.
407
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,431
- That's your show?
- No, that's my opening.
408
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,273
Then I do some Gregorian chant.
409
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,318
♪ Sanctus ♪
410
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:54,078
♪ Sanctus dominus deus sabaoth ♪
411
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,833
Some humpback whale moans...
412
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,916
[mimics whale moaning]
413
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:04,556
It's a full soundscape.
414
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,678
[stammers] It's way too avant-garde
for this crowd.
415
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,279
You gotta know your audience.
416
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,040
Next!
417
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,671
I was really vulnerable with you just now.
418
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,279
I'm sorry. I wanted it to work out, too.
419
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,473
- Oh, hey! What do you got?
- [chuckles]
420
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,392
[smacks lips] All right,
so welcome to our show.
421
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:34,112
I mean, my show. And it's called DIY Fly,
and we gonna show you...
422
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,634
I mean, I'm gonna tell you
423
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,030
- how to look your best...
- [yawning]
424
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,351
[sighs] Listen, we had mad followers
on YouTube.
425
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,359
- I'm just not used to doing it without...
- The hot one, huh?
426
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,877
It's, like, radio?
Hot is in the mind on radio.
427
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,634
Well, her voice was hotter, too.
428
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:53,949
Next!
429
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:57,075
Last menstrual period?
430
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,480
Uh...
431
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,353
I'm really not sure.
432
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:03,954
It's been a while.
433
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,590
But with the stress of moving down here
and all the riot craziness,
434
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,592
it's probably just a little off.
435
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,514
- You're 42?
- You don't gotta say it like that.
436
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,832
- Any trouble sleeping?
- This ain't the most tranquil place.
437
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,070
Mood swings?
438
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,995
Well, my son Benny had brain surgery.
He's alive and everything, thank God.
439
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,470
Then I find out that I can't afford
his physical therapy,
440
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,360
so, yeah, you could say
that I am up and down.
441
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:26,400
Loss of libido?
442
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,430
It's in a field somewhere,
giving my freedom a blow job.
443
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,520
Look, it seems like all the symptoms
of the change
444
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,513
could also be symptoms
of being incarcerated.
445
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:38,600
Huh?
446
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:41,876
That's interesting.
447
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,511
Uh, anyway, there's really no way to tell
448
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,910
if you're perimenopausal
without running blood tests.
449
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,118
And I'm afraid another feature
of incarceration
450
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,714
is they won't allow me to do that.
451
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,637
Some other signs you can watch for
are vaginal dryness
452
00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:00,031
and a redistribution of fat
around your middle.
453
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,079
Great.
454
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,037
The best thing you can do is exercise.
455
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:05,589
It's a natural way
to regulate your hormones.
456
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,637
There ain't exactly
a Planet Fitness next door.
457
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,189
Have you seen
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest?
458
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,872
There's a lot you can do in a cell.
459
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:16,910
Oh, and garbanzo beans.
460
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,673
I hear they're good, too.
461
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,592
Phytoestrogens.
462
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,835
Oh, God.
463
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,318
How am I smelling this?
464
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,154
This shit stinks so bad
I can smell it through my mouth.
465
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:43,154
Come on, cheese whizzes. Get her done.
466
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,119
Wish I could help, but, uh,
you know, the arm.
467
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,271
Yeah, you know, the laziness.
468
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:49,834
What's that, Mendoza?
469
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,196
She said it's a shame we lost these jobs.
470
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:57,793
Yeah. Uh, two dollars an hour
is a lot more than no dollars an hour.
471
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,195
Ugh.
472
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,954
Maybe we can take
some maintenance jobs from D-Block.
473
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:08,153
It only pays 12 cents, but that's
also more than no dollars an hour.
474
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,516
Stop with the whining and the math.
475
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,637
Fuck D-Block and their shitty jobs.
476
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,552
[chuckles] You know what I want?
477
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,040
What?
478
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,079
I want to make their shitty jobs
even shittier.
479
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,995
I shit you not, I want to make
their shitty everything shittier.
480
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,835
Shit's about to shit the fan
for those shit-for-brains Shit-Blockers.
481
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,912
They're not gonna know what shit 'em!
482
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,116
Yeah, they are.
483
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:32,679
That's the point.
484
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:51,794
Here we go.
485
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:52,956
I need volunteers
486
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:57,319
to drop trou and shit
on D-Block's nice clean unis.
487
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:00,760
I'll do it.
488
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:10,589
Thank you, soldier.
489
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,559
The, uh, naked part
is not really necessary.
490
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,791
It gets me feeling more primal.
491
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,397
Fair enough. [chuckles]
492
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:24,354
Gapman! Why don't you, uh, turn that frown
upside brown for me, will you?
493
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,751
[chuckling] No.
No, I can't shit on command.
494
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,958
Straining can trigger
a fatal heart arrhythmia in some people.
495
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:32,136
That's what happened to Elvis.
496
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,550
Please. The CIA killed Elvis.
497
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,958
Just...
498
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:39,440
[mimics straining]
499
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,793
[chuckles]
500
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,792
Like Kate Moss said,
501
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:48,238
"Nothing tastes as good
as shitting feels."
502
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,320
Tell you what.
503
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,592
Anyone who does not want
to shit on D-Block
504
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,032
gets a Badison Surprise.
505
00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:58,554
- A what?
- You don't want it.
506
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,039
- It's...
- It's a fucking surprise for the cookies.
507
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:05,352
If you know all about it,
why are you still standing there?
508
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,598
Ah, I think we should stop 'em.
509
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,471
When D-Block finds out, the retaliation...
510
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,678
That could potentially sideline
a lot of players.
511
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,269
Retaliation means
multiple ten-point incidents, though.
512
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:24,479
Possibly too many to track,
with witnesses.
513
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,951
There's a cost-benefit
of widespread violence.
514
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,032
It's potentially nonoptimal.
515
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:31,918
Plus, there's no points
for public defecation
516
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,196
after what happened three years ago.
517
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:38,797
Yeah, but one of them might cry
and rub her eyes.
518
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,315
Ah, bacterial conjunctivitis.
519
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,878
At two points per eye...
520
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,479
It would take a few days to present...
521
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,473
I'm playing a long game, Al.
522
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:59,437
Hey. You're pretty. What are you doing?
523
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,797
I'm strengthening my pelvic floor
to prepare for birth-giving.
524
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,157
You know, squeezy chi-chi.
525
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,151
That's kind of funny.
526
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:13,519
Listen, um, I'm looking for a cohost
for my new radio show.
527
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,796
I really sparkle
when I have someone to play off of.
528
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,190
We could talk about
how to keep it cute in prison.
529
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:22,115
Exactly. Being in prison
is no excuse to let yourself go, girl.
530
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,079
Or, I know,
we could talk about current events,
531
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,716
like, "How come so many cabbies
wear those turbans?
532
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,632
Are they hiding bombs under there?
533
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,030
Or just really greasy Arab hair?"
534
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,315
- Well, um...
- Oh, my God.
535
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,675
I'm gonna be so good at this!
536
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,672
And because I am
the native English speaker,
537
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,752
I will do most of the talking.
538
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,440
You know, now I'm thinkin'
that we don't have the same vision.
539
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,910
Okay, you know
who'd be great on the radio?
540
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Me.
541
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:49,912
Right, but, uh...
542
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,832
also, me.
543
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,674
Okay, I was raised on Howard Stern.
544
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,992
My consciousness is essentially
half a dozen shock jocks
545
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,480
locked inside of a sound booth.
546
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:00,835
I mean, I'm perfect.
547
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,470
I don't think Howard Stern
is really the style I'm going for.
548
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,190
Ah, but why not?
The only interesting ideas are heresies!
549
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,112
Well, if you think that,
550
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,433
then you're totally underestimating
the power of fashion tips and gossip.
551
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:19,936
Ouch! What are you doing,
did you lose something in there?
552
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,395
I am bimanually examining your uterus.
553
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,234
How is it? Can it sustain life?
554
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,757
How old are you? 38, 39?
Every month counts now.
555
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:30,749
How much more time you got?
556
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,560
A year.
Are you saying I can't get pregnant?
557
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,916
- No. No. That's not what I'm saying.
- [sighs]
558
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,754
What I'm saying is you have
a limited number of eggs,
559
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,231
and they're deteriorating
at an exponential rate right now.
560
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:43,776
So even if you got pregnant tomorrow,
561
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,440
it would be considered
a high-risk geriatric pregnancy.
562
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,558
"Geriatric"?
Does that toto look old to you?
563
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:50,559
It's tight as a...
564
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,553
That doesn't really have
anything to do with it.
565
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,711
Look, you never know.
566
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,631
Geena Davis had twins at 48.
567
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,120
Who's that?
568
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,680
A League of Their Own?
569
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,159
Marjorie Prime?
570
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:06,629
Thelma and Louise?
571
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,798
Ah. Telma y Luisa. [scoffs]
572
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,109
You're trying to inspire me
573
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,113
by talking about a rape and murder movie
that has a tragic ending?
574
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,910
That movie was also about
a particularly feminist futility
575
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:23,029
and the impossibility of justice for women
within a patriarchal court system.
576
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,191
[sighs] I am full of hope.
577
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,999
Well, if I'm not mistaken,
578
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,278
I am seein' some tell-tale
scratchy-scratch over there.
579
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:52,760
Huh?
580
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,354
Yeah. They're strung out.
581
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,514
Hmm. I just thought maybe they had
that combination skin.
582
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:04,439
I wonder what kind of skin
the baby's gonna have.
583
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,273
Hey, what's wrong?
584
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,016
Come on.
That baby's gonna have great skin.
585
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,271
You know, supersoft baby skin.
586
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,360
Yeah.
587
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:19,160
I just wish that Vinnie had been there
this morning at my examination.
588
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,836
[crying] He's not gonna be there
to hear the heartbeat.
589
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,317
He's not gonna see
that little pickle in the sonogram.
590
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:28,070
It could be a girl.
591
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,550
We won't find that out together, either!
592
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,679
Please, Daddy. I'm getting sick.
Where is it?
593
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,235
It's coming. Hang in there.
You're gonna be okay.
594
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:39,993
But what happened? What's the holdup?
595
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,470
[gags and coughs]
596
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,155
Wow. Okay. Uh, that is repulsive.
597
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,596
Ugh! There's doo-doo feces everywhere!
598
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,195
- Those Cunt-Block bitches!
- This is so Badison.
599
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:52,496
You're gonna let 'em do us like this?
600
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,274
Yeah, Daddy.
You let them wipe their asses on us!
601
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,511
Uh-oh, smells like mutiny.
602
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,116
Yeah, it also smells like shit.
Do I gotta wear these?
603
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,476
You know this is what it's like
being a mom, right?
604
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,760
There's shit everywhere,
you're constantly doing laundry
605
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,753
and you gotta protect the kid
from the drug addicts on the corner.
606
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,835
Don't worry, Kitten.
607
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,673
Oh, we should worry, actually.
608
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:17,511
Nothing could destabilize this place
like a massive outbreak of junkie logic.
609
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,474
Uh, people will kill to get high,
610
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,399
and these people are already in prison.
You know?
611
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,432
[breathes heavily]
612
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,318
Look, you and Kitten need to lay low
613
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,716
until this fever breaks
or the supply re-ups.
614
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:35,194
Oh, man, they baked it in.
This is huge disrespect. Very, very big.
615
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,874
That's right. They disrespected us.
And you know what else?
616
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,553
What?
617
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,393
They stole your high.
618
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,718
That's right.
You can thank C-Block for those shakes.
619
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,474
The guard who was bringing it in?
They turned him.
620
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,472
- What?
- Fuck them.
621
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,280
Don't it hurt
when cunts take what's rightfully yours?
622
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,079
- It is the worst.
- [Daddy] Yeah.
623
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,959
And don't it hurt
when you're already in prison,
624
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,269
you don't have your liberty,
625
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,831
then some Cheese-Block chickenhead
takes away your joy?
626
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,176
- They can't do that.
- Fucking bitches!
627
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,432
Hey, be quiet.
And, fuck no, they can't do that.
628
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:11,955
- The bitches are going down.
- End the cunts!
629
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,076
Death to C-Block!
630
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,391
- [Annalisa] That's right, Daddy.
- Okay. Whoa!
631
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:16,399
The fuck are you doing?
632
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,576
We just talked about you laying low.
633
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,389
But what kind of animal takes a shit
on a pregnant woman's clothes?
634
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,598
I want a better world for this little one!
635
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,639
Let me tell you something.
Nobody fucks with Daddy.
636
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,879
And nobody fucks with Daddy's girls.
637
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,880
- [upbeat music playing over speakers]
- [indistinct chatter]
638
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:40,120
[cell phone chimes]
639
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,036
Mmm, that feels nice.
640
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,597
- You're all tight up here. Are you okay?
- [cell phone chimes]
641
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:13,040
Yeah, girl, I'm good.
642
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,390
Shit! Don't fucking creep on me like that.
643
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:27,990
I'm sorry.
644
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,756
No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap.
645
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:37,394
You sure you're okay?
646
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,276
You just seem kind of off lately.
647
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:45,314
Is it because Talia quit?
648
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,155
No, no, it's all good, baby.
649
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:54,950
[cell phone chimes]
650
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,033
But you wanna know something?
651
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,839
Yes. Tell me.
652
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,359
It can always get better.
653
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,352
Mmm-hmm. Yeah?
654
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,400
And I just saw some shit go down
in the laundry room.
655
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,871
And when I say "shit,"
I'm talking about literal shit.
656
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:27,816
- And the guards didn't even...
- Okay.
657
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:32,471
You need to not give a shit about
whatever shit goes down in the laundry,
658
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:37,351
about what the guards do or don't do,
and about anything that isn't this.
659
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,551
You and me. Just be here, with me.
660
00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:45,233
You're right. Be here. With you.
661
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:46,320
Yeah.
662
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,032
We have a wedding to plan.
663
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,794
[sighs] In four years, when I get out.
664
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,520
No. No. I don't want to wait four years.
665
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:59,196
Like you said, let's be here.
Let's do it here. Now.
666
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:00,913
I don't want a fucking prison wedding.
667
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,000
Listen...
668
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,755
After the riot...
669
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:10,840
after what I saw today,
and the general depravity of this place...
670
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,071
No matter what happens,
671
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:18,632
I want to spend these next nine months
672
00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:21,632
with you as my wife.
673
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,312
I want you to be my wife, too.
674
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,994
But why get married
if we're gonna be apart for so long?
675
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,959
Because we're going to be
apart for so long.
676
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,759
Why say yes
if you don't want to just... do it?
677
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,911
- I do. I just...
- Uh-huh.
678
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,114
- Nobody could come to a wedding in here.
- That doesn't matter.
679
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,656
We can have another one when we're out.
680
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,831
- A prison wedding, huh?
- Yeah.
681
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,233
What would that look like, exactly?
682
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:52,069
[Piper] Oh...
683
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:53,160
Fuck!
684
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,274
- Come on, it's Red.
- What if she knows what I said?
685
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:58,760
Come on.
686
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:01,190
I am instituting our first family rule.
687
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,192
"Go towards the problem."
688
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,476
The Vause-Chapmans
will deal with the shit head-on.
689
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,473
[exhales]
690
00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:12,720
Hi, Red!
691
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:14,560
How are you?
692
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:16,677
Did you hear something? I didn't.
693
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:17,760
Very funny.
694
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:27,950
[sighs]
695
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,879
This slop is disgusting,
696
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,555
but I'd like to eat it in peace
if you don't mind.
697
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,474
I do mind. You can't cut us out.
698
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,791
Why not?
That's exactly what you did to me.
699
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,096
- What are you talking about?
- No. Red, let me explain.
700
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,316
You think I don't know
you all sold me down the river?
701
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,551
You think I don't know
that's how it is in here?
702
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:51,350
When you want something from me,
you love me, I'm your mother,
703
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,113
and I come through for you.
704
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,953
But when I need you, where are you?
705
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,953
In the next room giving me up
at the tap of a feather.
706
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,750
Okay. Stop saying "you,"
because I was in medical.
707
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,016
And if you're talking about Piper,
708
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,360
she didn't know what she was doing.
She thought I was dead.
709
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,877
I didn't just think she was dead, Red.
710
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,794
I thought that it was your actions
that got her killed.
711
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,271
I tried to warn you.
I tried to get the message to all of you.
712
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,511
Nicky was the only one
who even spoke to me
713
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,796
before throwing me under the bus.
714
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:21,553
Oh, so Nicky is off the hook?
715
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:22,960
Nicky showed honor.
716
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,350
Oh, please.
Stop being so fucking arbitrary.
717
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,239
Okay. I'm sorry that you feel betrayed.
718
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,394
I'm sorry for what I did.
719
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,760
You know where to find us.
720
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:48,680
[sighs]
721
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,473
Jesus Christ.
722
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:58,035
Today's menu would be salt in the wound
if there were any salt to be had.
723
00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:01,994
What? They charge you with the riot, too?
724
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:03,960
Yes.
725
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:05,950
You?
726
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,314
But I did lock the doors.
727
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:16,272
[scoffs] Well, at least we can spend
ten more glorious years together.
728
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:18,120
Actually...
729
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,957
they didn't give me any more time.
730
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:23,960
What?
731
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,071
How is that possible? [scoffs]
732
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,073
It's not like you even have
a family to return to.
733
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,270
What do you know about me
and who I have out there?
734
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:41,434
Was I supposed to politely ask
for a longer sentence?
735
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,110
Leave me the fuck alone.
736
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,440
No problem.
737
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,556
[in Spanish]
738
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:53,676
[in English] Thank you.
739
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:58,991
[in Russian]
740
00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:06,119
[woman on TV in English] Point. And flex.
And point.
741
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,476
Good. And roll around.
742
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,920
That's it. Remember,
you're only as fit as your feet.
743
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:16,391
Let's do it again. Point. And flex.
744
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,359
And point. Good. And roll around.
745
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,680
That's it, ladies.
Let's keep going! Point.
746
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,195
And flex. And point. Good.
747
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,192
I thought this was supposed
to be exercise,
748
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,000
not some weird toe stretches.
749
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,112
I know, but it does feel kind of good.
750
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,034
[woman on TV] And point.
Good. Roll around.
751
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,276
That's it. Let's do it again.
752
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,356
- Oh, yeah.
- [Sophia] Mmm-hmm.
753
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:46,479
You're right.
754
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,029
[woman] Remember,
you're only as fit as your feet.
755
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:52,950
[all groaning]
756
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:57,717
Of course. See?
Everything is breaking down.
757
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:02,272
Hey! Quiet!
I'm holding auditions over here.
758
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:07,560
We are entitled to one hour of exercise,
and the VCR just broke.
759
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:09,755
Not my problem.
760
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,190
You got a whistle,
so I believe it is your problem.
761
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:17,036
We need real exercise tapes.
Like Zumba or something.
762
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:18,713
[Chambal] Yeah, or Tae Bo.
763
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,076
Richard Simmons. Or at least Body by Jake.
764
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:22,992
Footrobics is real.
765
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,993
And there's also Awesome Ankles,
Totally Toes, Happening Heels...
766
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,833
- [blows whistle]
- That's enough!
767
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,199
You guys wanna do some exercise?
768
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,757
Why don't you use your fucking fit feet
and walk back to your cells?
769
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:37,710
Now!
770
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,552
God damn it. Who's next? All right. Jesus.
771
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:45,555
[groans]
772
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:46,869
What's going on?
773
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,673
Oh, I don't know.
774
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,150
My reproductive system is shutting down.
775
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:53,556
And I'm here.
776
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:54,640
Hey.
777
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:57,270
I'm here, too.
778
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,431
Okay, I think it's medical
that's killing us. Here, look.
779
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:13,840
Seriously?
780
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,633
Where's your sense of integrity?
781
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,673
You work
for a shitshow embarrassment of a company,
782
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:21,672
and your name and reputation
are associated.
783
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,673
Okay, could you maybe lean out for a sec?
784
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,551
Okay. Here's an associated concept.
785
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,280
Associates don't do
the shitty tedious parts.
786
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,477
They have eager underlings for that.
787
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:39,759
So look up some local university,
find some marketing majors,
788
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,354
and launch them at the PR problem.
789
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,194
Call it an internship
with a billion-dollar corporation,
790
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,398
a leader in the rehabilitation sector.
791
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,716
Pay them nothing.
Promise them school credit.
792
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:53,589
And take advantage of their genetic
ability to manipulate the Internet.
793
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:58,952
Yes! That's genius!
Do you see how we did that together?
794
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,639
- [chuckles]
- [cell phone ringing]
795
00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,712
Oh, good. It's my assistant.
796
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,315
Hi, Jared, I'm glad you called.
I have a project for you.
797
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:12,757
[Jared] Okay, but first, what do you want
to do about Black Lives?
798
00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:14,976
What do you mean, "Black Lives"?
799
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,196
The Black Lives Matter people?
I texted you.
800
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,397
They say they're working with the ACLU
801
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,791
and they want a statement
about MCC's treatment of Tasha Jefferson.
802
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,156
Tasha Jefferson.
803
00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:26,310
Right.
804
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,559
Okay, um...
805
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,951
No comment. I mean, don't respond.
806
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:33,633
Don't say, "No comment." JJust, um...
807
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,672
Ignore that for now. I, uh...
I will call you back.
808
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,831
- Okay, bye.
- [exhales]
809
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:42,960
Oh, great.
810
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,475
Our stock went down another point.
811
00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:49,757
Black Lives Matter
is freakin' radioactive.
812
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:52,456
Since you have some time on your hands,
813
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,358
I need you to move Tasha to gen pop.
814
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,616
That's three hours of paperwork.
I'll do it in the morning.
815
00:44:56,640 --> 00:45:00,759
No. You'll do it now
so I can issue a press release.
816
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,117
Hashtag, ACLU.
Hashtag, Black Lives Matter.
817
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,317
Hashtag, winning the PR war
818
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,950
so that MCC doesn't have to hire
an expensive damage control firm.
819
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,076
Now!
820
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:15,958
Or hashtag, you're fired.
821
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,154
And just buy the fucking coat!
822
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,595
Hey!
823
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:27,114
Hey, what are you doing?
824
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:30,080
My bed.
825
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,836
- No, no, no.
- Yep. Yeah. That looks like it.
826
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,276
I told you. I told you.
827
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:36,360
The shit!
828
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:37,876
The shit!
829
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,838
Can I write this into our vows?
830
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,155
"Do you, Alex Vause,
take this woman, Piper Chapman,
831
00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:46,039
to have and to hold through whatever
literal shit she encounters?"
832
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:47,395
Aw. I mean...
833
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:49,714
You know you do.
834
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,314
I mean, you do, don't you?
835
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,232
I do. I doo-doo.
836
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,040
[chuckles] But this isn't funny.
837
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,237
I just got shat on...
838
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,435
because I wouldn't shit on somebody else.
839
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,671
Then I'm winning at life partner.
840
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:08,517
[chuckling] And it's gonna be okay.
841
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:11,433
[whines]
842
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,797
[sighs] This is the perfect end
to a sucky day.
843
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:18,954
Having a strange man check out
my unscaped, ungroomed conchita.
844
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:22,238
[laughing] Ay!
845
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:23,320
"Conchita!"
846
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,477
That's what you call your party room?
847
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,120
For real.
My poozy hair is so long down there,
848
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,192
it's like I got a Wookiee sleepin' on it.
849
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:31,839
[laughing]
850
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:33,036
Mine ain't like that.
851
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,549
The muffro takes
more of a horizontal approach.
852
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,836
I mean, I'm basically
wearing a pubic short right now.
853
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:40,990
[all chuckle]
854
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:42,639
A 4C pubic short.
855
00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:43,720
Doc gonna be like...
856
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:47,754
- "Damn! Where it at?"
- [laughing]
857
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:49,035
I'm gonna be, like,
858
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,311
"Good day, sir.
My best to you on your journey!
859
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:52,516
Watch out for teeth!"
860
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:55,991
"Leave some breadcrumbs,
so you can find your way on out!"
861
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,639
[all laughing]
862
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:13,796
Sit. Or should I say, "Shit," Madison?
863
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:15,075
So you heard.
864
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:19,238
That'll teach your sister
and those D-Block whores.
865
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:21,880
Fuck them, fucking with our jobs.
866
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,953
They want a war, I'll give 'em a war.
867
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:29,080
Barbara and her dyke squad
tanked our entire business.
868
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:32,958
You think skid-marking their scrubs
counts as returning fire?
869
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:35,115
[scoffs] It's a start.
870
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:36,200
No.
871
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:38,554
I don't want to start anything.
872
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,315
I wanna end them.
873
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,119
Do you understand me?
874
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,509
Or are you not the person
I need right now?
875
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,474
All right, I get it.
876
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,079
Shanks, not pranks. [chuckles]
877
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,600
Are you waiting for a laugh? Get to work.
878
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:02,515
So, what do you do
when your child breaks a rule?
879
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:06,233
Let's talk about appropriate consequences.
880
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:10,876
What are some of the factors to consider
when creating your...
881
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,998
Yo. This shit is so fucking boring.
882
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,954
- [teacher] First...
- You think gondo here even has kids?
883
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:18,992
I guess it's what we gotta do
to get 'em back.
884
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,637
I heard the only thing
they really care about
885
00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:24,235
- is the income and the housing situation.
- Mmm-hmm.
886
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:28,200
But still, they saying that I need to have
separate bedrooms for the genders.
887
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,639
Who the fuck can afford
a three-bedroom apartment in New York?
888
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:34,673
- How many kids you got?
- Six.
889
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,318
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
890
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:38,480
Yeah, but they're all boys.
891
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:40,592
And I figure I can sleep
on the couch. [chuckles]
892
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:42,353
[teacher] Excuse me, ladies.
893
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:46,110
I can only give you credit for this class
if you're actually participating.
894
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:47,600
She was talking to me.
895
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:50,480
You ain't saying nothing
I don't already know.
896
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,274
Ma'am, I don't know
the particulars of your situation,
897
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,556
but there's some reason
your kids aren't with you.
898
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,158
And if you want to be reunited with them...
899
00:48:59,240 --> 00:49:01,994
I will tell you the particulars.
900
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,318
The particulars are that my kids
901
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,256
are living in a shitty
gang-banging neighborhood
902
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:07,555
with a shitty foster mother
903
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,416
and her shitty brother
that's probably a pedophile.
904
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:13,229
- Mmm-hmm.
- And a bunch of asshole foster kids.
905
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:15,073
So if everything's gonna be so shitty,
906
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:18,511
my kids and the checks that come with them
might as well be with me.
907
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,833
At this point that's the State's call.
908
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:26,390
But trust me, the system is so overloaded
that if you meet the minimum requirements,
909
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,870
the Office of Children and Family Services
910
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:31,395
will be happy to return
your children to you.
911
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,711
Yeah, but probably not the checks.
912
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,360
- Do you have a job?
- Yeah, I got a job.
913
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,310
You wanna lose weight with Nutri Herbal?
914
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:40,516
Anybody?
915
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:42,875
Come on.
916
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,640
I see some of you
could probably drop a few.
917
00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:48,076
[chuckling]
918
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:50,635
Don't look away.
919
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,399
[water running]
920
00:49:58,160 --> 00:49:59,310
[Daya] What's up with you?
921
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:03,760
Hey.
922
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:05,876
You okay?
923
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:08,954
[breathes heavily]
924
00:50:10,240 --> 00:50:11,800
You been houndin' me every fuckin' day.
925
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,760
Now I'm asking,
and you don't got nothing to say?
926
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,600
It's okay. You don't have to say anything
if you don't want.
927
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,476
There's some bells you can't unring.
928
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:41,673
Yeah, I know that.
929
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:43,240
I've rung every bell.
930
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:51,840
I did take your pills.
931
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:54,070
And they helped.
932
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:57,280
I know.
933
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:01,990
So, thank you.
934
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:07,120
Your ass is gonna get wet.
935
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,032
[both chuckle]
936
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:11,069
It's already soaked.
937
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,953
- [indistinct chatter]
- [doorbell rings]
938
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:40,277
Yo, man, this ain't cool.
How the fuck do you know where I live?
939
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:41,714
Is your phone broke?
940
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:44,640
I gotta know we're still good.
941
00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:49,315
Yeah. Don't sweat.
You don't gotta worry about me.
942
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:54,110
For your trouble.
943
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:57,640
Now you take care of me,
I take care of you.
944
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,752
[chuckling] So...
you got somebody new for me?
945
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:06,115
What, like tonight?
946
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:08,040
Yeah.
947
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:13,000
I can do that.
948
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,000
Her.
949
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:23,875
You got it, boss. Whatever you want.
950
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:25,997
Give me five. I'll send her down.
951
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:31,800
[sighs]
952
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,994
Amber! Get your stuff, baby.
953
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:37,516
Party time.
954
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:42,440
Yes.
955
00:52:42,441 --> 00:52:45,274
So listen, I found a cohost...
956
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:48,797
I said yes. You two, the show is yours.
957
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,711
Really? We ain't gotta audition?
958
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:53,029
Nope. [sighs]
959
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:54,736
- Comedy gold, right here.
- [both shrieking]
960
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,160
- Also, I can't take any more. So...
- [Black Cindy chuckles]
961
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:02,595
Uh... how is that gonna play on the radio?
962
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:03,680
Brilliantly.
963
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:06,915
So... [clears throat] when do we start?
964
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,639
Tomorrow. 4:00 a.m.
965
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:10,560
- Gross.
- What?
966
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:12,429
Price of fame.
967
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,752
Also, uh, they said keep it educational.
968
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:19,436
Now beat it. I'm finally done here.
969
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,160
- No political commentary?
- Thank you.
970
00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:24,197
We got you. We ain't gonna disappoint you!
971
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:25,714
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
972
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:35,194
- [Vasily] Hello.
- Vasily? I wasn't expecting you to answer.
973
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:37,158
Oh, hold on, Ma, let me get Pop. Pop!
974
00:53:37,240 --> 00:53:39,232
No! Wait! I want to talk to you.
975
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:40,510
How are you?
976
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,990
I'm fine. I'm fine, how are you?
977
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:45,311
No, honey, tell me how you are.
978
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,471
Really. Tell me everything.
979
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:51,076
How are my beautiful grandbabies?
How is your life?
980
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:53,800
Ma, is there something wrong?
981
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,315
Vasily. Your beautiful name.
982
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,480
I don't hear it enough.
983
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,233
Nothing is wrong, kotik,
984
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:04,475
except that I haven't been
focused on my family.
985
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,075
What do you mean, Ma? You're in prison.
986
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:08,276
[laughs] Yes!
987
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:13,834
And I fooled myself into thinking
these women here were my family.
988
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:15,036
But they are...
989
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:17,839
convicts and traitors.
990
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,872
I've neglected you. Only family is family.
991
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,600
Yeah, well, that's true.
992
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:26,270
I love you, Vasily.
993
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:29,080
Please tell your brothers I love them.
994
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:32,398
Tell each one like you mean it.
995
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:33,834
For me.
996
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:35,400
And Vasily?
997
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,278
Yeah, yeah, Ma. I'm listening.
998
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:39,873
Come visit your mother, huh?
999
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:42,440
I'm all alone here.
1000
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:46,039
Sure, I'll come visit you soon.
I got rugby this weekend...
1001
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:47,759
Rugby? [laughs]
1002
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:49,672
Be careful for your head, huh?
1003
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:53,318
And thank you. You are a good son, Vasily.
1004
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:01,752
So what's our name gonna be?
1005
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,433
Flindy?
1006
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:06,079
No, no, no. I don't like it.
1007
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:07,389
Blaca?
1008
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,080
Yo, my name is not actually Black Cindy.
1009
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,431
- It's just Cindy.
- Okay.
1010
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:12,520
But...
1011
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,559
my Jew name is Tova!
1012
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:19,672
We could be Toca.
1013
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:23,913
Or how about TocaTalk?
1014
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,071
TocaTalk!
1015
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:28,038
Mmm-mmm. I'm not vibing with that.
1016
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,513
Hey, I got it!
1017
00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:32,720
Flava.
1018
00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:35,675
Mmm. Max Flava!
1019
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:37,240
Yeah!
1020
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:38,879
- All right!
- Come on.
1021
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,758
[both cheering]
1022
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,477
- [inmates cheering]
- That's right! Thank you!
1023
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:45,600
Coming to your airwaves...
1024
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:57,873
Yeah!
1025
00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:01,755
That's my girl, Taystee!
1026
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:05,550
That's the OG riot girl
right there. [cheering]
1027
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:10,720
Oh, shit!
1028
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,314
- [Taystee] Hey, Cindy.
- Yo.
1029
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,392
You finally out of Ad Seg!
1030
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:15,800
So you took a plea?
1031
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:17,360
Hell no.
1032
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:20,717
I'm going to trial.
People need to know the truth.
1033
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:22,234
[inmates cheering]
1034
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:25,040
Yeah.
1035
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:28,840
Oh, shit! [chuckles]
1036
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:34,240
- [inmate] Riot girl!
- [cheering continues]
1037
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:39,718
[upbeat music playing]