1
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[cell door slams]
2
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[theme song playing]
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[cell door slams]
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[cell door slams]
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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- Resync by GoldenBeard -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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- [inmates snoring]
- [Crazy Eyes] No! Vee! Vee!
7
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No, Vee. [whimpers]
8
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Vee, Vee! Vee.
9
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Vee! Vee!
10
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- [Taystee groaning]
- Vee! Vee! Vee!
11
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Shut the fuck up!
12
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Yeah, I've been trying to
get some sleep around here!
13
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- What in the hell is wrong with you?
- [inmate] Trying to sleep.
14
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I'm so tired of this shit.
15
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Vee's in trouble. I gotta tell
her about the dragon that's coming.
16
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It was a dream, crazy
pants. You were dreaming.
17
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- What?
- Sit your ass down.
18
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[sighs heavily]
19
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- Just a dream?
- [Black Cindy] Yes!
20
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Like yesterday and the day before that!
21
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Shit!
22
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[inmates muttering]
23
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- [Poussey bangs wall]
- [gasps]
24
00:01:47,579 --> 00:01:49,122
[inmate] Damn it!
25
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- [Poussey huffs]
- [whispering] Sorry.
26
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[mouthing]
27
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[snoring]
28
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[Bell on PA] Rise and shine, ladies.
29
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- Another crappy day in prison.
- [inmates groaning]
30
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[exhales]
31
00:02:11,019 --> 00:02:12,729
[Crazy Eyes scatting]
32
00:02:12,812 --> 00:02:14,606
- [whistling]
- [inmate] Shut up!
33
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:36,711
[inhaling deeply]
34
00:02:40,381 --> 00:02:41,800
It smells like her.
35
00:02:42,592 --> 00:02:45,386
You wouldn't understand
it, you're not a parent.
36
00:02:46,345 --> 00:02:51,100
But the top of your head, right
here... it always smells like you.
37
00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:55,980
From the time you're an infant,
until you're a fucked-up adult.
38
00:02:57,857 --> 00:02:59,358
Luschek is the fuck up.
39
00:02:59,442 --> 00:03:01,653
Bullshit. Luschek wasn't lying.
40
00:03:01,736 --> 00:03:04,238
That baggie was hers. She told me herself.
41
00:03:05,782 --> 00:03:07,992
A junkie and a hoarder.
42
00:03:08,076 --> 00:03:10,286
He is still the reason
that she is down there.
43
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He did not need to name her.
44
00:03:12,581 --> 00:03:15,959
Being angry at him is a waste of time.
45
00:03:18,002 --> 00:03:20,880
Seems more productive than
sniffing an old hairbrush.
46
00:03:23,132 --> 00:03:25,384
Hey, Pennsa-fucky.
47
00:03:26,219 --> 00:03:28,930
Hey, you know that
Pennsatucky's a nickname.
48
00:03:29,013 --> 00:03:30,264
Mmm-hmm.
49
00:03:30,348 --> 00:03:32,934
So, you don't gotta change it. It's
already a name that's not my name.
50
00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:35,729
Yes, but there's always room to riff.
51
00:03:35,812 --> 00:03:37,521
Can I borrow some toothpaste?
My commissary's low.
52
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No, I don't got none.
53
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Big Boobs.
54
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Nice one.
55
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How do you not have any toothpaste?
56
00:03:44,738 --> 00:03:47,490
'Cause I don't need any toothpaste.
These babies are porcelain.
57
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[laughing]
58
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You know, I sure as hell ain't a dentist,
but I don't think that's how it works.
59
00:03:52,621 --> 00:03:55,414
Why? 'Cause you think the Queen
of England's just sittin' around,
60
00:03:55,498 --> 00:03:58,960
ordering her butler or whatever to
clean the fancy china with Colgate?
61
00:03:59,043 --> 00:04:00,670
No, of course not.
62
00:04:00,754 --> 00:04:04,048
Because plates don't get cavities
and neither do these bad boys.
63
00:04:05,049 --> 00:04:09,929
Man... your parents didn't really
even do the bare minimum with you.
64
00:04:10,013 --> 00:04:11,430
Oh.
65
00:04:11,514 --> 00:04:16,394
I see your evangeli-crazy fan
club is still going full swing.
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00:04:16,477 --> 00:04:19,272
[imitates sermonizing
preacher] "Blood will be shed...
67
00:04:19,355 --> 00:04:21,274
for the murdered babies.
68
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We shall stand together and
rejoice as the transgressors'...
69
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,615
[in normal voice] skin
crackles in the fires of hell."
70
00:04:28,698 --> 00:04:31,034
Jesus fucking Christ, that is terrifying.
71
00:04:31,117 --> 00:04:34,203
When you hear it out
loud, I see your point.
72
00:04:34,287 --> 00:04:38,082
"Reverend Lawlor circulated
your prison ID number.
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We hope that you've received
our donation, and that you'll... "
74
00:04:40,459 --> 00:04:41,460
Hold up.
75
00:04:41,544 --> 00:04:42,796
Hmm?
76
00:04:42,879 --> 00:04:45,882
These pulsing forehead
veins... they give you money?
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00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:48,635
Yeah, they do in my commissary.
78
00:04:48,718 --> 00:04:50,094
Oh, my God!
79
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[Pennsatucky] Hmm?
80
00:04:51,638 --> 00:04:54,348
That is fucking genius.
81
00:04:54,432 --> 00:04:55,850
I don't know.
82
00:04:57,727 --> 00:04:59,688
I've been having some feelings about it.
83
00:05:00,438 --> 00:05:03,024
Did you know I didn't shoot that nurse lady
84
00:05:03,107 --> 00:05:07,028
for any type of holy righteous
thing like they all think?
85
00:05:08,362 --> 00:05:09,613
I, uh...
86
00:05:12,283 --> 00:05:15,619
I got really mad and she hurt
my... She hurt my feelings.
87
00:05:15,704 --> 00:05:17,371
And sometimes...
88
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I get this... I get this really bad temper.
89
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Phew.
90
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[stammers]
91
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You still like me or...
92
00:05:28,674 --> 00:05:32,804
[laughing] Oh, Doggett...
don't you know what this means?
93
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Yeah. I'm going to hell.
94
00:05:36,182 --> 00:05:38,309
No, no.
95
00:05:38,392 --> 00:05:41,187
It means you're the normal one.
96
00:05:41,270 --> 00:05:44,858
I mean, come on... some bitch
insulted you, so you shot her?
97
00:05:44,941 --> 00:05:47,151
Now, to me, that makes a
hell of a lot more sense
98
00:05:47,235 --> 00:05:49,112
than shooting a complete stranger
99
00:05:49,195 --> 00:05:51,280
that you've demonized for your own agenda.
100
00:05:51,364 --> 00:05:54,658
I mean, being too
militant about anything...
101
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never ends well.
102
00:05:57,245 --> 00:05:59,622
Those people, they're the nutbags.
103
00:06:01,916 --> 00:06:03,042
- Yep.
- Yeah?
104
00:06:03,126 --> 00:06:04,377
- Yep.
- Yeah.
105
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:05,461
I get it.
106
00:06:05,544 --> 00:06:06,629
Yeah!
107
00:06:06,712 --> 00:06:10,424
I need to stop taking nuts
from nutbags. All right.
108
00:06:10,508 --> 00:06:12,426
It's time to right my
wrongs. [clears throat]
109
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[stammers] No, no, no, no.
110
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That's... not what I said.
111
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I don't care what you want.
I'm not fucking wearing it!
112
00:06:25,857 --> 00:06:28,359
Why do you have to be
such a bitch all the time?
113
00:06:28,442 --> 00:06:30,278
Because you're such a good role model.
114
00:06:30,361 --> 00:06:32,030
Do you want the kids to make fun of you?
115
00:06:32,113 --> 00:06:35,074
There's good attention and
there's bad attention, Carrie.
116
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I do not understand why you have to
117
00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:38,828
always make things so
difficult for yourself!
118
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- I swear to God!
- [man] What the hell's going on?
119
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You know, I give up. I give up!
120
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,627
Well, that's... nice.
121
00:06:47,378 --> 00:06:48,671
Are you fucking kidding me?
122
00:06:48,754 --> 00:06:51,632
Enough with the "fuckings."
We get that you're a teenager.
123
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:54,928
- I look like a thumb in a dress.
- You know how happy it'll make her.
124
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You're aware of how stupid that is, right?
125
00:06:56,888 --> 00:07:00,433
That I have to go out and pretend to
be something I'm not to make her happy?
126
00:07:00,516 --> 00:07:02,268
One day we're asking from you.
127
00:07:02,351 --> 00:07:03,911
I can't go to school like this. I won't.
128
00:07:03,978 --> 00:07:06,940
Well, you don't have a
choice. Here's how it works.
129
00:07:07,023 --> 00:07:10,985
You go, you sit, you smile,
they flash the little bulb.
130
00:07:11,069 --> 00:07:14,655
Mom has a picture of you to show Grandma
that won't make her have another stroke...
131
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,741
and you keep wearing clothes from
the boys' section at JC Penney's
132
00:07:17,826 --> 00:07:19,285
on every other day of the year.
133
00:07:19,368 --> 00:07:21,745
- Everyone's happy.
- Yeah, except me.
134
00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:24,999
Boy, it must be exhausting.
All those raging hormones.
135
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:29,796
Look, I'll buy you a root beer.
I'll put a bendy straw in it.
136
00:07:30,713 --> 00:07:33,341
Do this for your father who
has to live with your mother.
137
00:07:33,925 --> 00:07:34,968
Please.
138
00:07:35,927 --> 00:07:38,471
Fine. But you're both assholes.
139
00:07:38,554 --> 00:07:41,390
There's my sweet little buttercup!
140
00:07:50,441 --> 00:07:51,567
Library later?
141
00:07:53,319 --> 00:07:54,528
I have a headache.
142
00:07:57,365 --> 00:08:01,160
What are you? A '50s housewife?
We haven't had sex in a week.
143
00:08:03,121 --> 00:08:05,373
Lesbian bed death. It's
a thing. Look it up.
144
00:08:05,456 --> 00:08:07,959
Yeah, I'm familiar with
it, and it's bullshit.
145
00:08:08,042 --> 00:08:09,168
[Piper] Hmm.
146
00:08:10,128 --> 00:08:13,297
Come on, maybe we
can't... hate-fuck anymore,
147
00:08:13,381 --> 00:08:15,716
but we can still love-fuck, right?
148
00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:19,846
- Love-fuck?
- Yeah.
149
00:08:19,929 --> 00:08:22,015
Oh, that's so unappealing,
my nipples inverted.
150
00:08:22,098 --> 00:08:23,516
Come on.
151
00:08:24,392 --> 00:08:27,311
It's the only thing that
feels normal to me right now.
152
00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:29,605
Which should tell you how messed up I am.
153
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,859
Let me feel your normals.
154
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:34,652
Alex, can we drop this?
155
00:08:34,735 --> 00:08:38,239
God, you're acting so pissy.
It's making me kind of hot.
156
00:08:38,322 --> 00:08:41,492
Not today, okay? Stop.
157
00:08:42,326 --> 00:08:43,411
Is this about Nicky?
158
00:08:44,871 --> 00:08:45,997
I miss her, too.
159
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,165
But she, of all people,
160
00:08:47,248 --> 00:08:49,083
would want us getting off in her honor.
161
00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:51,669
[scoffs] You're the worst.
162
00:08:54,088 --> 00:08:55,464
Oh, shit.
163
00:08:57,258 --> 00:08:59,802
It's June 7th. [laughs]
164
00:09:00,469 --> 00:09:03,847
- Oh, my God.
- Can you not tell anyone, please?
165
00:09:05,391 --> 00:09:07,851
[whispers] Because you know
how I feel about June 7ths.
166
00:09:07,936 --> 00:09:09,520
Okay.
167
00:09:10,604 --> 00:09:14,317
Your wish is my command, princess.
Oh, that'd be a fun role-play.
168
00:09:15,068 --> 00:09:16,277
Genie and Aladdin.
169
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,530
"Free me from this lamp, street urchin!"
170
00:09:19,613 --> 00:09:22,075
No? All right, we'll work up to it.
171
00:09:24,077 --> 00:09:26,329
[Caputo] Good, good, good, good.
172
00:09:26,412 --> 00:09:28,789
Hope you're enjoying the provisions, folks.
173
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:32,210
We're gonna need you to put your
best caffeinated foot forward today.
174
00:09:32,293 --> 00:09:34,128
- Where's the cream?
- No cream.
175
00:09:34,212 --> 00:09:35,546
2%, you want that?
176
00:09:35,629 --> 00:09:37,173
Fig always bought cream.
177
00:09:37,256 --> 00:09:39,050
[Caputo sighs] Let's go. Sit down.
178
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:41,135
How long is this gonna take?
179
00:09:41,219 --> 00:09:44,430
Remember a week ago, when you were
all crying about losing your jobs?
180
00:09:44,513 --> 00:09:47,225
Remember how horrible
that was gonna be? Hmm?
181
00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:50,728
Well, good old Joe here might have
found a solution to the problem.
182
00:09:50,811 --> 00:09:52,646
Now it's your turn to help yourselves.
183
00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:53,856
Yes?
184
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:56,067
Did you just refer to
yourself in the third person?
185
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:58,861
[Caputo sighs deeply] [Bell]
I don't trust these people.
186
00:09:58,945 --> 00:10:01,572
Who buys property without
any comps in the neighborhood?
187
00:10:01,655 --> 00:10:02,991
Can't be a good investment.
188
00:10:03,074 --> 00:10:07,161
They're not buying it... all right?
Litchfield will remain a federal property.
189
00:10:07,245 --> 00:10:10,039
MCC would manage it and retain any profits.
190
00:10:10,123 --> 00:10:11,540
Look, guys, it's a long shot.
191
00:10:11,624 --> 00:10:13,784
They're considering several
facilities at the moment...
192
00:10:13,792 --> 00:10:18,006
but I convinced them... that we
were worth being on that list.
193
00:10:18,089 --> 00:10:19,548
[Donaldson] So, you lied to them.
194
00:10:19,632 --> 00:10:20,674
[all chuckling]
195
00:10:21,425 --> 00:10:23,719
I merely let them know
that we're a good bet.
196
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:25,721
Sounds like lying.
197
00:10:25,804 --> 00:10:27,473
[both laughing]
198
00:10:28,849 --> 00:10:31,102
There are many misconceptions...
199
00:10:31,894 --> 00:10:36,190
about the costs and difficulty
associated with female prisons,
200
00:10:36,274 --> 00:10:39,318
which I will clear up for
them on the tour today.
201
00:10:39,402 --> 00:10:42,280
These poochies be
difficult. For real, though.
202
00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:43,443
[O'Neill stifling laughter]
203
00:10:43,447 --> 00:10:46,075
[Caputo sighing] Look, help me out.
204
00:10:46,159 --> 00:10:48,244
Don't be stupid.
205
00:10:48,327 --> 00:10:50,079
I've already prepped a few inmates.
206
00:10:50,163 --> 00:10:52,248
If you see something
these people shouldn't see,
207
00:10:52,331 --> 00:10:54,292
solve the problem quickly and quietly.
208
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:57,878
Managing this place for the Feds?
I don't like the smell of that.
209
00:10:57,961 --> 00:11:00,256
How does unemployment smell? [sniffs] Good?
210
00:11:00,339 --> 00:11:02,966
Smells good to you?
211
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:10,891
Yo, you kept me up all night... and
now I gotta eat with your ass, too?
212
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,227
Man, don't say "eat" and
"ass" so close together
213
00:11:13,311 --> 00:11:14,728
while I'm trying to eat breakfast.
214
00:11:14,812 --> 00:11:16,814
Somebody woke up on the
wrong side of the bed.
215
00:11:16,897 --> 00:11:18,941
Technically, there's
only one side of the bed
216
00:11:19,024 --> 00:11:20,901
because the other side is
up against the partition,
217
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:21,985
which wouldn't allow...
218
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:24,738
- Will you shut the hell up?
- Shit, it's too early for this.
219
00:11:24,822 --> 00:11:26,657
You know what? Somebody wanna explain to me
220
00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:28,117
why she's sitting with us, anyway?
221
00:11:28,201 --> 00:11:30,369
I mean, since when did we start
chilling with bitch-ass followers
222
00:11:30,453 --> 00:11:33,956
who beat the shit out of people just
'cause some crazy lunatic says to?
223
00:11:34,707 --> 00:11:37,626
Sound like some vengeful Simon
Says bullshit, if you ask me.
224
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:39,378
I was just clarifying the bed issue.
225
00:11:39,462 --> 00:11:41,255
Clarity is important.
226
00:11:41,339 --> 00:11:44,342
"You should be meticulous with your words."
227
00:11:44,425 --> 00:11:46,385
[scoffs] That's what Vee would say.
228
00:11:46,469 --> 00:11:49,472
[chuckles] Except she don't say shit now...
229
00:11:50,389 --> 00:11:53,058
'cause everybody be saying,
"That bitch got smushed
230
00:11:53,142 --> 00:11:54,518
like a bug on a windshield."
231
00:11:54,602 --> 00:11:56,042
- [Black Cindy] Here we go.
- No. No.
232
00:11:56,104 --> 00:11:59,898
You're a liar. She's fine! Vee is fine!
233
00:11:59,982 --> 00:12:02,067
She's coming back for me!
234
00:12:02,151 --> 00:12:04,445
Hey, hey, hey. Take care of your girl.
235
00:12:04,528 --> 00:12:06,029
I ain't her keeper.
236
00:12:06,114 --> 00:12:07,740
It's you or the SHU.
237
00:12:07,823 --> 00:12:09,908
- You wanna be responsible for that?
- Really?
238
00:12:09,992 --> 00:12:11,327
[Poussey clicks tongue]
239
00:12:12,828 --> 00:12:13,871
[tray clatters]
240
00:12:13,954 --> 00:12:16,540
Suzanne, sit down.
241
00:12:19,793 --> 00:12:21,003
P...
242
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,340
switch seats and don't talk to her!
243
00:12:24,423 --> 00:12:26,342
You wanna carry that grudge, be my guest,
244
00:12:26,425 --> 00:12:29,512
but I don't see how them scrawny
chicken legs can stand the extra weight.
245
00:12:29,595 --> 00:12:30,763
[Black Cindy chuckles]
246
00:12:32,848 --> 00:12:36,185
My legs ain't scrawny...
they're proportional.
247
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,658
Hey, hey.
248
00:12:50,741 --> 00:12:54,287
- Nicky will be okay.
- [weakly] How do you know?
249
00:12:55,037 --> 00:12:58,582
I don't. I just... It's
a thing people say, right?
250
00:12:58,666 --> 00:13:00,083
[Lorna sobs]
251
00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:01,877
I'll get your tray.
252
00:13:04,922 --> 00:13:06,674
[Dayanara sighs heavily]
253
00:13:06,757 --> 00:13:08,842
Yo, careful, you're gonna splatter.
254
00:13:10,261 --> 00:13:13,264
That mother... fucker.
255
00:13:16,016 --> 00:13:18,727
- Bennett fucked Aleida?
- No, you idiot.
256
00:13:18,811 --> 00:13:20,521
Oh, like that's such a crazy question.
257
00:13:20,604 --> 00:13:23,023
[exclaims] These eggs smell like ass.
258
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:25,693
Gloria must have used that fart seasoning.
259
00:13:25,776 --> 00:13:26,777
[both laughing]
260
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:28,153
[Maritza speaking Spanish]
261
00:13:28,237 --> 00:13:31,199
Yo, you're fucking children,
yo. I can't deal with it today.
262
00:13:35,994 --> 00:13:37,955
[sobbing softly]
263
00:13:45,838 --> 00:13:47,047
[sighs]
264
00:13:48,799 --> 00:13:52,761
"If a man also lie with
mankind, as he lieth... "
265
00:13:52,845 --> 00:13:54,179
Really, "lieth"?
266
00:13:54,263 --> 00:13:55,931
You can't say that word without a lisp.
267
00:13:56,014 --> 00:13:57,725
Who are these people kidding?
God was the original fag.
268
00:13:57,808 --> 00:14:02,062
Look... I happen to think this church
of hers isn't deserving of the title,
269
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,607
and we have a deal... but don't push me.
270
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:06,942
You're right, Sister.
My bad. [clears throat]
271
00:14:07,025 --> 00:14:09,278
"As he lieth with woman, they are
both committing an abomination,
272
00:14:09,362 --> 00:14:12,448
they shall surely be put to death,
their blood will be upon them." Boom.
273
00:14:12,531 --> 00:14:15,576
- And?
- Leviticus, 24601.
274
00:14:16,785 --> 00:14:19,497
23:13, 20.
275
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:22,750
- Not Jean Val-jean’s prison number.
- Good catch.
276
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:25,836
- Thou shalt not make musical references.
- Why not?
277
00:14:25,919 --> 00:14:29,298
Because that's, like, the gayest thing
on the planet and even I know that.
278
00:14:29,382 --> 00:14:33,636
That is an ugly
stereotype... about gay men.
279
00:14:33,719 --> 00:14:36,555
See, everybody knows my people
are stage managers, not performers.
280
00:14:36,639 --> 00:14:38,891
Oh, remember to talk
about the light... a lot.
281
00:14:38,974 --> 00:14:41,269
Walking into the light.
Following the light.
282
00:14:41,352 --> 00:14:43,229
That's good. Yep. Remember that, Boo.
283
00:14:43,312 --> 00:14:45,898
[Sister Ingalls] Are you
sure you're prepared for this?
284
00:14:45,981 --> 00:14:49,568
Eastberg Baptist is all hate, all the time.
285
00:14:50,778 --> 00:14:53,864
Jesus' girlfriend's got a real good point.
286
00:14:53,947 --> 00:14:56,116
'Cause licking gravy boats has
kind of been your whole thing.
287
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:59,495
And Reverend Lawlor, he's
got a lot of opinions.
288
00:14:59,578 --> 00:15:02,164
Okay, look. Nobody is talking about
289
00:15:02,248 --> 00:15:05,083
conceding my hard-earned
position as Lord of the Lesbians.
290
00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:08,921
I'm just... embracing the
gray areas to make a buck.
291
00:15:09,004 --> 00:15:12,132
Black and white, that's for
zebras and Michael Jackson.
292
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,802
- Wait, ain't he dead?
- Exactly.
293
00:15:16,178 --> 00:15:17,263
Here you go, Sister.
294
00:15:17,346 --> 00:15:21,434
- In lieu of a mattress.
- Oh. Pleasure doing business with you.
295
00:15:22,059 --> 00:15:23,769
And finally,
296
00:15:23,852 --> 00:15:27,315
what led you to see how far you strayed
from the Christian life, Miss Black?
297
00:15:27,398 --> 00:15:28,399
Oh.
298
00:15:28,482 --> 00:15:32,235
Well... [sighs] I hadn't
found the right man, of course.
299
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:36,740
But then... this chubby Santa
Claus-looking guard showed up,
300
00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:38,284
and boom!
301
00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:39,618
One look at his meaty ass
302
00:15:39,702 --> 00:15:42,330
and I was sticky in the knickers
for monogamous hetero love.
303
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,540
[imitates retching]
304
00:15:44,623 --> 00:15:46,375
[laughing]
305
00:15:47,543 --> 00:15:50,879
- [hip-hop music
playing] - [woman] Whoo!
306
00:15:52,673 --> 00:15:53,924
[Big Boo] Hey, girl.
307
00:16:06,937 --> 00:16:08,356
- [bartender] You okay?
- Yeah.
308
00:16:13,861 --> 00:16:14,862
How's it look?
309
00:16:14,945 --> 00:16:18,616
Oh, clear skies with 100%
chance of pussy after midnight.
310
00:16:18,699 --> 00:16:22,035
- I'm talking about the Browns game.
- Oh! Five point spread. Steelers.
311
00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:23,537
Fuckers! All right.
312
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:27,541
I'll take... our boys...
313
00:16:27,625 --> 00:16:28,876
- Yeah.
- ATS.
314
00:16:30,127 --> 00:16:31,545
Good luck.
315
00:16:31,629 --> 00:16:32,630
Ha!
316
00:16:32,713 --> 00:16:34,840
Hey, Marcus.
317
00:16:34,923 --> 00:16:37,926
Tell your boy over there
he owes me 200 by Monday.
318
00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:39,011
Cut him some slack.
319
00:16:39,094 --> 00:16:41,555
That is not the business
that I'm in, my brother.
320
00:16:44,057 --> 00:16:45,726
[Big Boo exclaims]
321
00:16:46,602 --> 00:16:47,978
[Marcus] Oh, I know this one.
322
00:16:54,192 --> 00:16:57,530
- Well, hello there.
- Hi.
323
00:16:57,613 --> 00:16:58,656
Rum and Coke, right?
324
00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:01,784
I'm very intuitive.
325
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:04,953
- It's my favorite.
- Yeah?
326
00:17:05,037 --> 00:17:07,873
Tastes like vacation in a cup.
327
00:17:09,124 --> 00:17:10,584
[stammers]
328
00:17:10,668 --> 00:17:13,211
That was the stupidest
thing I've ever said.
329
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,593
- Uh, my name's Carrie.
- Tracy.
330
00:17:19,677 --> 00:17:23,806
Tracy? Well... it is nice to meet you.
331
00:17:23,889 --> 00:17:25,265
[Big Boo laughing]
332
00:17:27,017 --> 00:17:29,728
I'm having such a good time with you.
333
00:17:29,812 --> 00:17:32,481
- No, it's... It's okay, isn't it?
- [Tracy laughs]
334
00:17:32,565 --> 00:17:34,400
Oh, oh. [gasps]
335
00:17:34,483 --> 00:17:36,068
Look where you are.
336
00:17:41,323 --> 00:17:42,533
I live really close to here.
337
00:17:42,616 --> 00:17:45,703
Do you wanna go there
and... have another drink?
338
00:17:46,829 --> 00:17:50,916
- Yeah, let's do that.
- [chuckles] Let's do that.
339
00:17:50,999 --> 00:17:52,209
- Okay.
- Yeah.
340
00:17:52,292 --> 00:17:53,711
Fucking dykes.
341
00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:55,212
Are you fucking kidding me?
342
00:17:55,295 --> 00:17:57,715
You think you're a tough
guy, you cocktail wiener?
343
00:17:57,798 --> 00:17:59,467
Answer me, you fuckwad!
344
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:02,010
I should fucking kill
you, you fucking asshole!
345
00:18:02,094 --> 00:18:04,012
I'll stuff your little
cock down your throat!
346
00:18:04,096 --> 00:18:05,514
Get out of here!
347
00:18:05,598 --> 00:18:07,182
Get the fuck out of here!
348
00:18:07,265 --> 00:18:10,728
That's right. Run, you
homophobic little bitch!
349
00:18:10,811 --> 00:18:11,812
Um...
350
00:18:12,771 --> 00:18:14,147
I'm going home.
351
00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:18,276
What? Don't let that
little shit ruin our night.
352
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,821
You ruined our night.
353
00:18:21,447 --> 00:18:22,490
Seriously?
354
00:18:22,573 --> 00:18:24,450
You can't blame a stupid kid
355
00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:27,745
when you're the poster
child for all things butch!
356
00:18:29,121 --> 00:18:31,499
You were so hot before you were a cunt.
357
00:18:31,582 --> 00:18:34,668
What the fuck happened to
you to make you so angry?
358
00:18:34,752 --> 00:18:38,756
Oh, I wish I had some sob story
that would explain everything.
359
00:18:38,839 --> 00:18:43,677
Well, sorry to disappoint you, sugar.
Ain't no dramatic origin story here.
360
00:18:43,761 --> 00:18:46,597
Just a big old dyke who
refuses to apologize for it.
361
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,809
You know, c'est moi... you prissy,
homophobic, self-hating bitch.
362
00:18:53,979 --> 00:18:56,314
It was really great meeting you.
363
00:19:03,405 --> 00:19:04,406
[groans]
364
00:19:05,407 --> 00:19:06,534
Fuck.
365
00:19:06,617 --> 00:19:08,410
Thank you so much for coming. Joe Caputo.
366
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:11,997
Hi, Joe. We spoke on the phone.
Elizabeth Wilkinson, SVP of Acquisitions.
367
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,541
Yes, hi.
368
00:19:13,624 --> 00:19:16,585
- Jack. SVP of Strategic Planning.
- Jack.
369
00:19:16,669 --> 00:19:19,630
- Robert. SVP of Development.
- Robert.
370
00:19:19,713 --> 00:19:21,965
Well, thank you so much
for hearing us out today.
371
00:19:22,049 --> 00:19:26,720
I think you will find that Litchfield
will make a great addition to your company.
372
00:19:26,804 --> 00:19:28,597
Not according to our cost analysis.
373
00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:29,723
[chuckles]
374
00:19:30,641 --> 00:19:31,850
Hey there.
375
00:19:31,934 --> 00:19:33,018
- Joe Caputo.
- Oh.
376
00:19:33,101 --> 00:19:35,228
Hey. Danny Pearson. Good to meet you.
377
00:19:35,312 --> 00:19:37,648
Hey, I remember those days.
Don't let them get you down.
378
00:19:37,731 --> 00:19:39,650
Oh, yeah. This is...
379
00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:41,944
- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Sure thing.
380
00:19:43,028 --> 00:19:44,655
Am I dressed appropriately?
381
00:19:44,738 --> 00:19:46,949
I'm new and the e-mail said no khaki,
382
00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:49,993
and then I wasn't sure
whether to go dressy or casual.
383
00:19:50,077 --> 00:19:52,663
And the more I thought about
it, slacks just seemed...
384
00:19:52,746 --> 00:19:55,165
I don't know. You ever worry about
385
00:19:55,248 --> 00:19:57,626
throwing your freedom
of choice in their faces
386
00:19:57,710 --> 00:20:00,796
like you're showing off to the... women?
387
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:02,881
We prefer to call them "inmates."
388
00:20:02,965 --> 00:20:07,010
- And you look just fine, Danny.
- Oh, great. Thanks.
389
00:20:07,094 --> 00:20:08,554
Let's get started, huh?
390
00:20:08,637 --> 00:20:11,557
I mean, you would have died.
Second row. Can you even...
391
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,393
I could basically smell
Trey Anastasio's BO.
392
00:20:15,477 --> 00:20:17,479
Oh, and Brittani with an "I," not a "Y... "
393
00:20:17,563 --> 00:20:20,733
she totally smuggled in, like, an
eighth of that strawberry Kush hybrid
394
00:20:20,816 --> 00:20:23,777
that Feinberg's been growing. [exclaims]
395
00:20:23,861 --> 00:20:26,404
It was such a killer night.
396
00:20:27,781 --> 00:20:29,532
Anyway, I miss you.
397
00:20:31,785 --> 00:20:33,954
[sarcastically] That's so fun, Meadow.
398
00:20:35,748 --> 00:20:37,290
[laughs awkwardly] Are you okay?
399
00:20:37,374 --> 00:20:38,667
Mmm...
400
00:20:39,668 --> 00:20:40,961
No.
401
00:20:41,044 --> 00:20:42,588
Everyone's been talking about you.
402
00:20:42,671 --> 00:20:45,423
You know, how badass it is
that you're actually here.
403
00:20:45,507 --> 00:20:48,260
How the rest of us, we wouldn't
be able to survive in prison.
404
00:20:48,343 --> 00:20:52,097
But look at you. You're
doing it. It is so cool.
405
00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:53,223
Oh.
406
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,184
Are you fucking kidding me?
407
00:20:57,269 --> 00:21:00,731
Your vibe's different.
Are you sure you're okay?
408
00:21:00,814 --> 00:21:04,109
If this is about the Pema Chödrön
fight we had right before you left,
409
00:21:04,192 --> 00:21:07,821
- it's really not a big deal...
- Prison is not cool.
410
00:21:10,157 --> 00:21:12,660
Being here is not cool.
411
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:19,792
It's not brave or admirable or courageous.
412
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:21,334
It's stupid.
413
00:21:21,418 --> 00:21:22,419
[scoffs]
414
00:21:23,295 --> 00:21:26,006
I feel stupid for being in here...
415
00:21:27,883 --> 00:21:31,845
and stupid for thinking
that it wouldn't ruin my life
416
00:21:31,929 --> 00:21:33,681
and that it would be okay.
417
00:21:33,764 --> 00:21:36,058
And I'm not surviving.
418
00:21:36,141 --> 00:21:39,561
I'm just... existing.
419
00:21:40,938 --> 00:21:46,151
You know, I drove, like,
three hours to get here, right?
420
00:21:47,695 --> 00:21:51,657
Well... you don't have to ever again.
421
00:21:55,994 --> 00:21:58,554
_
422
00:21:59,247 --> 00:22:04,002
Benito Mendoza... look at me. Right now.
423
00:22:08,131 --> 00:22:11,134
_
424
00:22:11,218 --> 00:22:13,971
Talking about him like he's
not at the table won't help.
425
00:22:14,054 --> 00:22:16,556
You want to raise your
own kids? Go right ahead.
426
00:22:16,639 --> 00:22:17,975
I'm sorry.
427
00:22:18,058 --> 00:22:21,269
You know how thankful I am for you.
428
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:24,231
Gloria.
429
00:22:24,314 --> 00:22:26,316
He's impossible.
430
00:22:27,192 --> 00:22:28,902
And he's so strong now.
431
00:22:28,986 --> 00:22:31,529
The bigger he gets, the
more out of control I feel.
432
00:22:32,197 --> 00:22:34,407
He kicks, he yells.
433
00:22:34,491 --> 00:22:36,284
Last week, he slammed the door so hard,
434
00:22:36,368 --> 00:22:38,912
the plaster split from one
side of the door to the other.
435
00:22:38,996 --> 00:22:40,705
[snickering]
436
00:22:41,581 --> 00:22:43,381
[speaking English] Oh,
you think that's funny?
437
00:22:44,793 --> 00:22:46,086
You listen to me.
438
00:22:47,170 --> 00:22:48,756
You think you hot shit?
439
00:22:48,839 --> 00:22:50,048
You think because I messed up,
440
00:22:50,132 --> 00:22:51,466
you're gonna follow in
your mother's footsteps?
441
00:22:51,549 --> 00:22:53,761
Well, let me tell you
something, you're dead wrong.
442
00:22:53,844 --> 00:22:56,179
From now on, you're gonna come here.
443
00:22:56,263 --> 00:22:59,141
Every week, you're gonna
bring your homework.
444
00:22:59,224 --> 00:23:03,603
And if you don't, I will make
your life a living hell...
445
00:23:03,686 --> 00:23:04,980
even from in here.
446
00:23:05,063 --> 00:23:06,689
Try me.
447
00:23:06,774 --> 00:23:09,109
I'll call my brothers
from Washington Heights...
448
00:23:09,192 --> 00:23:11,361
and they will hang your
ass over that bridge...
449
00:23:11,444 --> 00:23:15,240
until you piss on yourself and it comes
running down your body into your mouth.
450
00:23:16,741 --> 00:23:18,994
That's the kind of shit they live for.
451
00:23:21,246 --> 00:23:22,956
Every week, Benito.
452
00:23:24,792 --> 00:23:27,752
You hear me, little boy? Every week.
453
00:23:32,461 --> 00:23:35,778
_
454
00:23:35,803 --> 00:23:37,930
_
455
00:23:38,013 --> 00:23:39,222
[scoffs]
456
00:23:47,856 --> 00:23:50,358
[Healy] Here... let me get that.
457
00:23:50,442 --> 00:23:53,611
- Here.
- [Red] Oh, you didn't have to do that.
458
00:23:53,695 --> 00:23:57,365
Well, you didn't have to say all those
nice things about me to Katya, either.
459
00:23:57,449 --> 00:23:59,576
[Red] Your Russian really must be terrible.
460
00:24:00,869 --> 00:24:04,289
- You called me a good man.
- I only said what I believed.
461
00:24:07,792 --> 00:24:08,961
Are you all right?
462
00:24:10,378 --> 00:24:12,339
Your eyes look glassy.
463
00:24:13,798 --> 00:24:16,426
I feel like I lost a child.
464
00:24:18,761 --> 00:24:19,972
I'm sorry, Galina.
465
00:24:25,018 --> 00:24:27,645
I thought I could save her.
466
00:24:27,729 --> 00:24:28,730
[sighs]
467
00:24:29,689 --> 00:24:33,693
If someone jumps into
shark-infested waters...
468
00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:35,778
you can't jump in after them.
469
00:24:52,212 --> 00:24:53,296
[Caputo] Cafeteria.
470
00:24:53,380 --> 00:24:56,091
[Crazy Eyes] I know. I told
them that she's doing fine,
471
00:24:56,174 --> 00:24:58,760
that she's sitting under... She's
sitting under a tree somewhere,
472
00:24:58,843 --> 00:25:01,179
eating a Pink Lady apple. Oh! Oh.
473
00:25:01,263 --> 00:25:02,847
'Cause Vee loves Pink Lady apples.
474
00:25:02,931 --> 00:25:07,185
And she's thinking about me...
just like I'm thinking about her.
475
00:25:08,896 --> 00:25:09,938
It's gonna work out.
476
00:25:10,605 --> 00:25:12,399
How much are you spending on meals?
477
00:25:12,482 --> 00:25:17,487
$1.79 per inmate per meal. $5.37 a day.
478
00:25:18,780 --> 00:25:23,118
We find that women eat less than men,
so we're able to keep our food costs low.
479
00:25:23,201 --> 00:25:25,745
The national average is $1.58.
480
00:25:25,828 --> 00:25:30,500
We've heard some discouraging things
about housing a female population.
481
00:25:30,583 --> 00:25:35,047
Do you find it's more difficult
because of their health requirements?
482
00:25:36,089 --> 00:25:37,590
[sniffling]
483
00:25:37,674 --> 00:25:41,803
You know, the great thing is,
the ladies here are all synced up.
484
00:25:41,886 --> 00:25:44,389
So... it's a real rough couple of days,
485
00:25:44,472 --> 00:25:47,309
but at least it's not spread out, you know?
486
00:25:47,392 --> 00:25:49,561
I grew up with three sisters
and a mother in the house,
487
00:25:49,644 --> 00:25:52,439
so, we had to batten down the hatches.
488
00:25:52,522 --> 00:25:54,024
Lucky I made it out of there alive.
489
00:25:57,402 --> 00:25:58,778
Let's move on to the kitchen.
490
00:26:00,863 --> 00:26:04,617
Inmate Mendoza, glad you can
join us. What's on the menu today?
491
00:26:05,493 --> 00:26:06,744
Food.
492
00:26:06,828 --> 00:26:09,456
It's a Cuban garbanzo
bean stew-type thingy.
493
00:26:09,539 --> 00:26:12,500
We got a whole case of
it last week, and Gloria,
494
00:26:12,584 --> 00:26:16,504
she figured out a way how to stretch them
after we picked out all the rotten ones.
495
00:26:19,049 --> 00:26:22,885
[Caputo] We find that our inmates
are one of our best assets.
496
00:26:22,970 --> 00:26:24,262
They are very resourceful,
497
00:26:24,346 --> 00:26:27,515
and we rely on them to
help us get through the day.
498
00:26:27,599 --> 00:26:30,560
Yeah, like this one time,
everyone got the shits real bad
499
00:26:30,643 --> 00:26:32,020
from eating old pork or whatever,
500
00:26:32,104 --> 00:26:34,189
so we served white bread
for the next couple of days.
501
00:26:34,272 --> 00:26:37,317
It was real good for the tummy.
It sopped up all the badness.
502
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,696
Hey, Joe, are you guys on the
codified national meal schedule?
503
00:26:41,779 --> 00:26:45,200
You know, I'm... I'm not sure about...
504
00:26:46,368 --> 00:26:48,786
- I'm gonna look into that, Danny.
- Great, take your time.
505
00:26:48,870 --> 00:26:52,415
Yeah, let's keep moving,
huh? Right this way.
506
00:26:55,043 --> 00:26:57,420
When are you two gonna
learn how to shut up?
507
00:26:57,504 --> 00:27:00,590
You're like Lucy and
Ethel without the charm.
508
00:27:00,673 --> 00:27:03,301
- We was just trying to help.
- You wanna help?
509
00:27:03,385 --> 00:27:06,638
Start by shutting up and
doing what I ask you to do.
510
00:27:06,721 --> 00:27:09,432
Stop gabbing while you're serving.
511
00:27:09,516 --> 00:27:13,853
Stop thinking that anyone needs
you to do more than your job.
512
00:27:13,936 --> 00:27:15,313
Jeez.
513
00:27:17,065 --> 00:27:18,608
- You got your period?
- Yes.
514
00:27:18,691 --> 00:27:19,734
Me, too.
515
00:27:19,817 --> 00:27:22,237
[gasps] Oh. It all makes sense now.
516
00:27:23,488 --> 00:27:24,648
If you follow the power cord,
517
00:27:24,697 --> 00:27:25,907
- it'll lead you...
- I know.
518
00:27:25,990 --> 00:27:28,285
I'm just saying, it'll
lead you to the fuse.
519
00:27:28,368 --> 00:27:30,120
I don't need your help...
520
00:27:30,203 --> 00:27:33,623
- you disgusting little vole.
- [scoffs]
521
00:27:34,457 --> 00:27:37,335
Don't you talk to me. Don't you look at me.
522
00:27:37,419 --> 00:27:41,005
And go ahead... give me a
shot for being insubordinate.
523
00:27:41,089 --> 00:27:42,549
I don't give a fuck.
524
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,009
[scoffs]
525
00:27:46,053 --> 00:27:49,222
Am I at least allowed
to ask what a vole is?
526
00:27:49,306 --> 00:27:50,473
[Caputo] Right this way.
527
00:27:52,434 --> 00:27:54,311
Chapman, how are we doing today?
528
00:27:54,977 --> 00:27:57,980
We are doing so great, Mr. Caputo.
529
00:27:58,065 --> 00:27:59,982
Would you mind explaining
530
00:28:00,067 --> 00:28:02,444
what it is you're doing
today, for our guests?
531
00:28:02,527 --> 00:28:03,903
Absolutely.
532
00:28:03,986 --> 00:28:07,990
The microwave... it
stopped working yesterday,
533
00:28:08,075 --> 00:28:10,618
so I'm trying to fix it.
534
00:28:12,454 --> 00:28:14,122
By assigning our inmates work duty,
535
00:28:14,206 --> 00:28:18,376
we avoid the exorbitant cost
of hiring outside contractors.
536
00:28:18,460 --> 00:28:20,587
Everybody contributes to the community.
537
00:28:20,670 --> 00:28:23,005
Well, not everyone.
538
00:28:23,090 --> 00:28:25,633
Some people try to... destroy it.
539
00:28:26,593 --> 00:28:28,428
What seems to be the problem there?
540
00:28:28,511 --> 00:28:31,931
The... thermal fuse blew.
541
00:28:32,682 --> 00:28:34,434
And you can fix that by yourself, honey?
542
00:28:36,228 --> 00:28:38,313
Well, I sure can...
543
00:28:38,396 --> 00:28:41,774
if I concentrate extra
hard with my lady brain.
544
00:28:41,858 --> 00:28:43,110
[Wilkinson snickers]
545
00:28:43,193 --> 00:28:44,277
Thank you, Chapman.
546
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,779
Right this way.
547
00:28:50,658 --> 00:28:55,080
We're gonna make you look
real natural. Don't worry.
548
00:28:56,289 --> 00:28:57,332
[Sophia] Mmm.
549
00:28:57,415 --> 00:29:01,919
Go ahead and call me Jesus from now on,
'cause this bitch just worked a miracle.
550
00:29:02,003 --> 00:29:03,671
It really is something.
551
00:29:03,755 --> 00:29:05,298
Yeah, it's definitely something.
552
00:29:05,382 --> 00:29:09,051
[Big Boo chuckling] Man, I cannot
wait to fleece this motherfucker.
553
00:29:09,136 --> 00:29:11,596
I'm actually, like, all tingly and shit.
554
00:29:11,679 --> 00:29:15,517
Okay. All finished.
555
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,186
- [Big Boo] Show me my big, beautiful self!
- Okay, almost there.
556
00:29:18,270 --> 00:29:19,812
- Just hold on, all right?
- [Big Boo] All right.
557
00:29:19,896 --> 00:29:23,441
- There... we... go.
- [Big Boo] Uh-huh.
558
00:29:23,525 --> 00:29:25,152
Oh, I love this part!
559
00:29:25,235 --> 00:29:27,028
This is like that TV show
560
00:29:27,112 --> 00:29:30,698
where they gave those ladies
the plastic surgery makeover
561
00:29:30,782 --> 00:29:33,910
and then all their problems
just went away after.
562
00:29:34,744 --> 00:29:36,579
Okay, here we go.
563
00:29:38,206 --> 00:29:40,750
[Lorna shrieking] Oh, my God!
I'm sorry, I can't help it.
564
00:29:40,833 --> 00:29:43,795
I just love makeovers
and you look so pretty.
565
00:29:43,878 --> 00:29:46,464
Boo, you look fucking weird.
566
00:29:47,507 --> 00:29:48,550
What? She does.
567
00:29:49,676 --> 00:29:50,885
No, um...
568
00:29:54,055 --> 00:29:55,890
I look like my mother.
569
00:30:02,104 --> 00:30:05,400
[woman moaning] Carrie! Oh! Oh, God!
570
00:30:10,738 --> 00:30:12,490
[both moaning]
571
00:30:12,574 --> 00:30:13,575
[woman] Oh, my God!
572
00:30:13,658 --> 00:30:15,202
[both groaning]
573
00:30:15,285 --> 00:30:16,453
[both laughing]
574
00:30:20,873 --> 00:30:23,793
Fuck, I love you.
575
00:30:24,669 --> 00:30:26,504
Says the girl who just came.
576
00:30:27,464 --> 00:30:30,800
I don't see why that's not a
perfectly valid reason to love someone.
577
00:30:30,883 --> 00:30:32,177
Well...
578
00:30:32,260 --> 00:30:33,470
[sighs]
579
00:30:35,012 --> 00:30:36,764
And do you know why I love you?
580
00:30:37,724 --> 00:30:40,393
- Because I have great tits?
- Exactly.
581
00:30:40,477 --> 00:30:42,270
[both laughing]
582
00:30:44,939 --> 00:30:47,650
Jesus, don't get me going again, girl.
583
00:30:48,693 --> 00:30:50,027
[Big Boo chuckles]
584
00:30:55,074 --> 00:30:56,701
Can I ask you something?
585
00:30:57,910 --> 00:30:59,746
Not if it's about my mother.
586
00:30:59,829 --> 00:31:01,498
Carrie, come on.
587
00:31:03,583 --> 00:31:04,834
Talk to me.
588
00:31:10,215 --> 00:31:13,510
Remember when we were
fucking? Gee, that was fun.
589
00:31:15,220 --> 00:31:18,473
Your mom is sick and you're not
gonna go see her? That's not normal.
590
00:31:18,556 --> 00:31:21,100
You're right, I'm not normal. I'm queer.
591
00:31:21,183 --> 00:31:24,854
[gasps] Wait, did you
not know we were lesbos?
592
00:31:24,937 --> 00:31:26,231
My bad, I should have told you.
593
00:31:26,314 --> 00:31:27,732
You must have been very confused.
594
00:31:28,650 --> 00:31:30,777
Look, I don't get why
you're holding on to this.
595
00:31:31,486 --> 00:31:34,196
Look at you, you're living
your life, you have me.
596
00:31:34,281 --> 00:31:36,574
You don't have to keep fighting the world.
597
00:31:37,825 --> 00:31:39,744
I mean, isn't forgiving
her easier than not?
598
00:31:39,827 --> 00:31:42,163
Oh, Christ. I don't fucking know.
599
00:31:44,916 --> 00:31:48,461
Look, I'm worried if you don't go
see her, you're gonna regret it.
600
00:31:52,131 --> 00:31:56,010
Those little baskets of seashells
everywhere really freak me out.
601
00:31:56,093 --> 00:31:58,054
- It's weird living back home.
- [Piper] Right.
602
00:31:58,137 --> 00:32:01,140
They said it was going to be
two weeks, and yet it's been six.
603
00:32:01,223 --> 00:32:04,602
The sustainable wood for the
micro-house is on backorder.
604
00:32:04,686 --> 00:32:05,895
Isn't that amazing?
605
00:32:05,978 --> 00:32:09,857
Who would have thought that wood
could be on backorder? [laughs]
606
00:32:10,650 --> 00:32:12,819
Are they waiting for the
trees to grow? [laughs]
607
00:32:12,902 --> 00:32:15,780
Are you waiting for the oceans
to rise and reclaim their bounty?
608
00:32:15,863 --> 00:32:17,449
[Piper laughing] Oh.
609
00:32:17,532 --> 00:32:19,617
Isn't this fun?
610
00:32:19,701 --> 00:32:20,993
What's with your new look?
611
00:32:21,077 --> 00:32:24,331
Did you join a World
War II reenactment group?
612
00:32:24,414 --> 00:32:25,665
Well, that's dark.
613
00:32:25,748 --> 00:32:28,042
Cal's gotten into the
postmodern ice-cream movement.
614
00:32:28,125 --> 00:32:30,252
Been doing some really interesting
experiments with nitrogen.
615
00:32:30,337 --> 00:32:33,340
I'm working on a BLT flavor at this moment.
616
00:32:33,423 --> 00:32:34,924
And, when we get enough money,
617
00:32:35,007 --> 00:32:37,302
we're gonna open an
old-fashioned ice cream parlor
618
00:32:37,385 --> 00:32:41,389
but with future-now flavors
for an experiential mash-up.
619
00:32:41,473 --> 00:32:42,890
So I decided to, you know,
620
00:32:42,974 --> 00:32:45,101
- perfect my look,
now. - Mmm-hmm.
621
00:32:45,184 --> 00:32:48,730
I'm bidding online for a
wearable bass drum as we speak.
622
00:32:48,813 --> 00:32:50,482
- It's all happening.
- [chuckling]
623
00:32:51,733 --> 00:32:52,942
[Carol] Enough about us.
624
00:32:53,025 --> 00:32:54,611
How's your birthday, darling?
625
00:32:54,694 --> 00:32:57,697
Did you get any presents
from your prison friends?
626
00:32:57,780 --> 00:33:02,076
I haven't told anyone it's my
birthday, so, nope, no presents.
627
00:33:05,079 --> 00:33:07,206
[stammers] Are you not gonna say anything?
628
00:33:08,708 --> 00:33:10,418
I don't have anything to say.
629
00:33:10,502 --> 00:33:11,794
[Bill clears throat]
630
00:33:11,878 --> 00:33:13,463
Then why did you come?
631
00:33:16,883 --> 00:33:18,968
Because it's your birthday, Piper.
632
00:33:20,637 --> 00:33:22,179
Have I ever missed your birthday?
633
00:33:26,267 --> 00:33:29,061
I'm sorry, I can't just sit
here and make small talk.
634
00:33:29,145 --> 00:33:33,566
You don't have to, I'm not size-ist.
You can talk big, you could talk medium?
635
00:33:33,650 --> 00:33:35,192
You're 32.
636
00:33:36,152 --> 00:33:39,447
You're getting further
and further behind in life.
637
00:33:39,531 --> 00:33:40,907
[sighs]
638
00:33:40,990 --> 00:33:43,701
I'm frustrated that we
can't seem to help you.
639
00:33:46,203 --> 00:33:50,041
Maybe this is exactly where
I am supposed to be right now.
640
00:33:51,250 --> 00:33:56,423
Maybe this... right now, is
making me a better person.
641
00:33:56,506 --> 00:33:57,840
[scoffs]
642
00:33:57,924 --> 00:34:01,553
I'm learning... more Spanish...
643
00:34:02,804 --> 00:34:04,263
and I can fix things.
644
00:34:06,098 --> 00:34:10,520
I'm a part of a community...
and I have a girlfriend.
645
00:34:13,690 --> 00:34:16,025
I have a girlfriend that I love.
646
00:34:19,236 --> 00:34:20,321
So, there.
647
00:34:21,113 --> 00:34:22,865
Saw that coming.
648
00:34:22,949 --> 00:34:25,493
So, does that mean you're officially...
649
00:34:25,577 --> 00:34:29,205
It means that I officially...
have a girlfriend.
650
00:34:32,208 --> 00:34:33,334
Dear God.
651
00:34:34,085 --> 00:34:37,046
You know, I find myself
saying that phrase, too, a lot.
652
00:34:37,129 --> 00:34:39,090
But with a different inflection and...
653
00:34:39,173 --> 00:34:40,592
[panting]
654
00:34:40,675 --> 00:34:41,801
breathier.
655
00:34:41,884 --> 00:34:45,513
Dear... [inhales sharply] God!
656
00:34:45,597 --> 00:34:46,598
[gasps]
657
00:34:47,557 --> 00:34:49,434
- [Piper yelping]
- [Cal] Whoa!
658
00:34:54,856 --> 00:34:56,441
Happy birthday!
659
00:34:59,986 --> 00:35:01,946
[man speaking indistinctly on PA]
660
00:35:03,740 --> 00:35:04,949
Hi, there.
661
00:35:07,577 --> 00:35:09,579
Need something?
662
00:35:09,662 --> 00:35:13,415
Well, I'm sorry to bother you. I
just... I wanted you to have these.
663
00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:16,252
I thought they might brighten your day.
664
00:35:16,335 --> 00:35:17,587
Rose seeds?
665
00:35:18,796 --> 00:35:21,924
Oh, is that what they are? I
don't have a green thumb, so...
666
00:35:22,008 --> 00:35:24,426
It says "rose" right there on the package.
667
00:35:24,511 --> 00:35:27,972
I was in a hurry after lunch, so...
668
00:35:29,974 --> 00:35:31,976
They'll be a lovely addition to the garden.
669
00:35:32,059 --> 00:35:33,185
Thank you.
670
00:35:34,020 --> 00:35:35,647
You're welcome.
671
00:35:49,619 --> 00:35:52,622
How you gonna love a song that just,
like, lists the days of the week?
672
00:35:52,705 --> 00:35:54,582
Like it's Sesame Street or some shit?
673
00:35:54,666 --> 00:35:56,668
That's only one teeny part.
674
00:35:56,751 --> 00:35:58,920
The rest is all, "Tonight's
gonna be a good night."
675
00:35:59,003 --> 00:36:02,173
It makes me feel optimistic about
the evening we gonna have and shit.
676
00:36:02,256 --> 00:36:03,508
You know we in prison though, right?
677
00:36:03,591 --> 00:36:05,593
Whatever, man, they all sellouts anyway.
678
00:36:05,677 --> 00:36:07,554
Man... [mimics phone ringing]
679
00:36:07,637 --> 00:36:09,847
Hello? One second, please.
680
00:36:09,931 --> 00:36:12,934
Poussey Washington, it's the
Black Eyed Peas calling for you.
681
00:36:13,017 --> 00:36:15,144
They wanna give you all the moneys.
682
00:36:15,227 --> 00:36:18,731
All you got to do is sing the
days of the week and be famous.
683
00:36:18,815 --> 00:36:20,733
- All the moneys?
- All the moneys!
684
00:36:20,817 --> 00:36:22,026
Um...
685
00:36:22,109 --> 00:36:23,402
- No.
- Ooh.
686
00:36:23,485 --> 00:36:26,197
Man, you're bullshitting!
You're bullshitting.
687
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,575
If that's the case, I
could be a famous rapper.
688
00:36:28,658 --> 00:36:30,367
You know what I'm saying, like...
689
00:36:30,451 --> 00:36:32,787
- ♪ January, February, March ♪
- [Poussey] ♪ Oh, what you got? ♪
690
00:36:32,870 --> 00:36:34,872
♪ April, May and June
July, August, September ♪
691
00:36:34,956 --> 00:36:37,542
Shit, yo! I'm gonna turn this shit up.
692
00:36:37,625 --> 00:36:39,586
We all know what it's like to move.
693
00:36:39,669 --> 00:36:41,549
- All the boxes, the schlepping...
- [Poussey] Yo!
694
00:36:41,588 --> 00:36:43,005
Hey, who the fuck is that?
695
00:36:43,089 --> 00:36:46,008
- Yo, it's Judy King, man!
- The chef lady.
696
00:36:46,092 --> 00:36:48,135
Yo, she ain't just a chef, man.
697
00:36:48,219 --> 00:36:50,555
She's an entertainment
and lifestyle specialist.
698
00:36:50,638 --> 00:36:51,973
Yo, she cooks the food,
699
00:36:52,056 --> 00:36:54,559
and then she shows you
how to present it, right?
700
00:36:54,642 --> 00:36:57,061
Putting little sprigs
of rosemary on the plate,
701
00:36:57,144 --> 00:36:59,897
putting it on a bed of
moss and shit. [chuckles]
702
00:36:59,981 --> 00:37:01,566
Presentation is everything.
703
00:37:01,649 --> 00:37:03,192
Did you just say "sprig"?
704
00:37:03,275 --> 00:37:06,988
Raspberry buttermilk pie.
It's my way of saying...
705
00:37:07,071 --> 00:37:08,322
[snoring]
706
00:37:08,405 --> 00:37:09,949
[exclaims]
707
00:37:10,032 --> 00:37:11,158
I've seen this one before.
708
00:37:11,242 --> 00:37:13,828
That raspberry buttermilk
pie turns out real nice.
709
00:37:13,911 --> 00:37:17,331
Even when white folks try to
be exciting, they still boring.
710
00:37:17,414 --> 00:37:19,375
Yeah, I was asleep. [laughs]
711
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,962
Yo, what the fuck? Look.
712
00:37:26,382 --> 00:37:28,217
Man, that girl is gonna be the death of me.
713
00:37:28,300 --> 00:37:30,094
Let her ass go to the SHU.
714
00:37:31,553 --> 00:37:33,014
Right this way.
715
00:37:34,974 --> 00:37:36,517
[Caputo] Sure, yeah.
716
00:37:37,977 --> 00:37:39,353
This is our TV room.
717
00:37:39,436 --> 00:37:40,730
[Poussey] Go, go. You gotta go.
718
00:37:44,942 --> 00:37:46,027
[Crazy Eyes] Ow. Ow.
719
00:37:46,110 --> 00:37:49,113
White people... and other.
720
00:37:51,323 --> 00:37:55,202
And we'll be going... uh, this way.
721
00:37:55,286 --> 00:37:56,746
Right this way.
722
00:37:59,999 --> 00:38:03,585
[exhales] Hey, hands up over your head.
723
00:38:03,670 --> 00:38:05,254
[Crazy Eyes whimpering]
724
00:38:10,176 --> 00:38:11,427
[stammers]
725
00:38:11,510 --> 00:38:14,013
Vee came to me.
726
00:38:14,096 --> 00:38:17,308
And she told me to follow her...
727
00:38:17,391 --> 00:38:20,311
but my feet weren't... fast enough.
728
00:38:20,394 --> 00:38:21,437
[Taystee] Okay.
729
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,316
And I missed her, Taystee. I missed her.
730
00:38:25,399 --> 00:38:28,485
Suzanne... you have to listen to me.
731
00:38:34,366 --> 00:38:37,787
- Vee wasn't here.
- Yes, she...
732
00:38:37,870 --> 00:38:39,080
Vee's dead.
733
00:38:39,163 --> 00:38:41,290
- No, she's not!
- Yes, she is!
734
00:38:41,373 --> 00:38:43,960
- She is not! No, she's not!
- Vee is dead, Suzanne!
735
00:38:44,043 --> 00:38:48,130
Vee is dead! Vee is dead!
Vee is dead! [sobbing]
736
00:39:08,985 --> 00:39:10,361
She's gone.
737
00:39:14,531 --> 00:39:17,869
Yes... she's gone.
738
00:39:21,831 --> 00:39:24,041
I am so sorry.
739
00:39:27,294 --> 00:39:28,963
Me, too.
740
00:40:05,707 --> 00:40:09,211
- Need a little help, there?
- Nope, I've got it. Thank you.
741
00:40:15,634 --> 00:40:17,011
I called you my girlfriend.
742
00:40:17,094 --> 00:40:19,806
What? To who?
743
00:40:19,889 --> 00:40:22,433
To my parents...
744
00:40:22,516 --> 00:40:25,477
and my... brother and my brother's wife.
745
00:40:26,687 --> 00:40:27,855
[exhales]
746
00:40:29,023 --> 00:40:31,859
- That's a bold move, Chapman.
- I know.
747
00:40:31,943 --> 00:40:34,570
I didn't even mean to say it. It just...
748
00:40:35,863 --> 00:40:39,033
It just came out. And now...
749
00:40:40,242 --> 00:40:41,682
Now, I can't stop thinking about it.
750
00:40:41,702 --> 00:40:44,371
Do you want to pass me a note
and have me circle yes or no?
751
00:40:44,455 --> 00:40:46,833
I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend.
752
00:40:46,916 --> 00:40:48,375
- [chuckles] Oh, no?
- No.
753
00:40:48,459 --> 00:40:53,130
Definitely not. I just thought...
I thought that it was weird.
754
00:40:54,131 --> 00:40:55,507
It's totally weird.
755
00:40:58,845 --> 00:41:02,764
You know, the Quran is turning out to be
more interesting than I would've guessed.
756
00:41:02,849 --> 00:41:04,892
Technically, I'm not
supposed to be touching it,
757
00:41:04,976 --> 00:41:06,518
but I did wash my hands.
758
00:41:06,602 --> 00:41:08,645
So, I decided that Allah
would be cool with it.
759
00:41:08,729 --> 00:41:10,147
Will you be my girlfriend?
760
00:41:10,231 --> 00:41:11,398
[laughing]
761
00:41:13,109 --> 00:41:14,610
- Yeah.
- Yes?
762
00:41:14,693 --> 00:41:17,029
Yes, you idiot.
763
00:41:17,113 --> 00:41:18,197
She said "yes."
764
00:41:19,198 --> 00:41:21,325
- Good for you, hon.
- Mazel tov!
765
00:41:32,253 --> 00:41:33,420
I have something for you.
766
00:41:34,296 --> 00:41:36,590
- It's a non-birthday
gift. - Okay.
767
00:41:43,555 --> 00:41:44,556
Here.
768
00:41:45,266 --> 00:41:48,810
What is this? Is this... a list of songs?
769
00:41:48,895 --> 00:41:51,480
Well, I couldn't make you a mix, so...
770
00:41:51,563 --> 00:41:54,066
I wrote down the songs
I would've put on the mix
771
00:41:54,150 --> 00:41:57,069
if we were, like... normal people
772
00:41:57,904 --> 00:42:01,282
and not weird prison girlfriends.
773
00:42:03,117 --> 00:42:04,826
Um...
774
00:42:04,911 --> 00:42:08,414
Okay, Only You, Yaz.
775
00:42:08,497 --> 00:42:11,500
You Wouldn't Like Me, Tegan and Sara.
776
00:42:11,583 --> 00:42:14,586
- The Pussy is Mine, Miguel.
- Miguel.
777
00:42:14,670 --> 00:42:17,214
This is so nice, and so gay.
778
00:42:17,298 --> 00:42:20,176
- I know.
- Thank you.
779
00:42:30,019 --> 00:42:31,812
Mr. Caputo, I need to speak to you.
780
00:42:31,896 --> 00:42:35,524
Uh, I'm sure it's something your counselor
would be happy to assist you with, inmate.
781
00:42:35,607 --> 00:42:37,484
It's about one of your guards.
782
00:42:38,527 --> 00:42:40,779
As you can see, I am
very busy at the moment.
783
00:42:40,862 --> 00:42:43,782
So, I will make every effort
to try and find you tomorrow.
784
00:42:44,951 --> 00:42:46,202
It's about CO Bennett.
785
00:42:47,286 --> 00:42:50,289
[chuckles nervously] Excuse me.
786
00:42:50,372 --> 00:42:51,373
Please.
787
00:42:53,167 --> 00:42:54,876
What the hell do you want?
788
00:42:54,961 --> 00:42:58,839
He hasn't been here for two weeks.
I haven't heard nothing from him.
789
00:42:58,923 --> 00:43:00,967
Please, Mr. Caputo, you
gotta know where he is.
790
00:43:01,050 --> 00:43:02,259
You gotta know something.
791
00:43:02,343 --> 00:43:04,220
I am gonna give you
the benefit of the doubt
792
00:43:04,303 --> 00:43:07,848
and assume that you are
not a complete moron,
793
00:43:07,932 --> 00:43:11,143
despite that stupid, stupid
power move you just tried to pull.
794
00:43:11,227 --> 00:43:14,438
Which means you can make the same
assumption I've made about Bennett,
795
00:43:14,521 --> 00:43:15,689
he is gone.
796
00:43:15,772 --> 00:43:17,691
- No.
- And he is not coming back.
797
00:43:17,774 --> 00:43:22,363
Unfortunately for you, inmate, not
everyone around here is locked up.
798
00:43:23,530 --> 00:43:24,781
[Elizabeth] Mr. Caputo...
799
00:43:26,492 --> 00:43:30,079
I hate to be presumptive,
but was that inmate pregnant?
800
00:43:30,162 --> 00:43:33,040
This is a good example of our concerns.
801
00:43:33,124 --> 00:43:36,252
The costs associated with a birth
while the inmate is in our care.
802
00:43:36,335 --> 00:43:38,337
And they're prohibitive, to say the least.
803
00:43:38,420 --> 00:43:41,007
Great thing about men,
they don't have uterus’s.
804
00:43:42,424 --> 00:43:44,468
She's not pregnant.
805
00:43:44,551 --> 00:43:47,179
And quite frankly, you should
never assume that about a woman.
806
00:43:47,263 --> 00:43:49,640
Phew! I've learned that one the hard way.
807
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,187
Well, a big hetero hello to all of you.
808
00:43:57,023 --> 00:44:00,192
You buying this? Anybody? Yes? No?
809
00:44:00,276 --> 00:44:01,777
Thank you.
810
00:44:05,822 --> 00:44:09,160
[man on PA] Code blue in
room 23. Code blue, room 23.
811
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,873
Carrie.
812
00:44:15,582 --> 00:44:17,418
Hey, Pop.
813
00:44:17,501 --> 00:44:18,502
[sighs]
814
00:44:19,420 --> 00:44:21,172
[Big Boo] Hi.
815
00:44:23,049 --> 00:44:24,633
You okay?
816
00:44:24,716 --> 00:44:28,137
[scoffs] Of course, not.
That was stupid, huh?
817
00:44:29,221 --> 00:44:33,225
I can't believe you're here.
It's been so many years, Carrie.
818
00:44:33,309 --> 00:44:37,146
Well, you know... she's my mother.
819
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,898
I'm here now.
820
00:44:41,317 --> 00:44:43,694
You won't even recognize
her, she's so frail.
821
00:44:44,986 --> 00:44:46,822
I can handle it, Pop.
822
00:44:47,448 --> 00:44:49,241
I... I don't think she can.
823
00:44:53,745 --> 00:44:57,124
What, you mean the...
sight of her dyke daughter
824
00:44:57,208 --> 00:44:58,584
is going to make her worse?
825
00:44:58,667 --> 00:45:00,377
Carrie...
826
00:45:00,461 --> 00:45:03,839
would it kill you to put on some
other clothes before you see her?
827
00:45:03,922 --> 00:45:06,675
Well, these are my good Chucks, Pop.
828
00:45:06,758 --> 00:45:08,135
You know what I mean.
829
00:45:10,762 --> 00:45:11,972
Gosh...
830
00:45:13,807 --> 00:45:15,726
I'm so fucking tired.
831
00:45:17,186 --> 00:45:18,520
[sighs heavily]
832
00:45:19,896 --> 00:45:22,941
I have been her daughter for 42 years.
833
00:45:23,024 --> 00:45:24,610
Now...
834
00:45:24,693 --> 00:45:28,155
don't you think she could have
taken some of that time to...
835
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:33,285
work on accepting me for who
I am, rather than mourning...
836
00:45:33,369 --> 00:45:38,165
every... fucking... thing... that I am not?
837
00:45:38,249 --> 00:45:42,085
I understand that whatever
this is, is important to you,
838
00:45:42,169 --> 00:45:43,962
but it's a costume, that's all.
839
00:45:44,045 --> 00:45:47,883
The rest of us, we get up, put on
a suit and a tie, we go to work.
840
00:45:47,966 --> 00:45:51,345
You think that's how I wanted to dress
five days a week? No, of course not.
841
00:45:51,428 --> 00:45:55,098
But no one gets the privilege of
being themselves all the time, Carrie.
842
00:45:55,182 --> 00:45:56,558
No one.
843
00:45:57,934 --> 00:46:01,480
Now, if you want to go in there and
upset her, I'm not gonna stop you.
844
00:46:01,563 --> 00:46:05,859
But you need to decide whether your
costume is worth what it's costing you.
845
00:46:08,404 --> 00:46:09,571
I...
846
00:46:10,906 --> 00:46:14,368
have had to fight for this...
847
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:18,289
all my life, Dad.
848
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:20,499
All my life.
849
00:46:21,458 --> 00:46:26,087
Strangers, girlfriends,
fuck, even my own parents...
850
00:46:27,631 --> 00:46:32,636
all asking me to be
something... that I am not.
851
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:38,141
Do you have any idea what that feels like?
852
00:46:38,225 --> 00:46:42,813
Like, your whole fucking
existence is being denied, like...
853
00:46:42,896 --> 00:46:46,775
"Whoa, you'd be better off
if you were invisible"? Yeah.
854
00:46:51,738 --> 00:46:55,409
I refuse to be invisible, Daddy.
855
00:46:57,369 --> 00:46:59,830
Not for you, not for Mom...
856
00:47:01,957 --> 00:47:03,459
not for anybody.
857
00:47:05,836 --> 00:47:07,213
[sighs]
858
00:47:11,217 --> 00:47:12,509
So, um...
859
00:47:14,845 --> 00:47:16,430
I'm sorry.
860
00:47:32,988 --> 00:47:34,406
[crying softly]
861
00:47:34,490 --> 00:47:36,325
[man speaking indistinctly on PA]
862
00:47:46,042 --> 00:47:48,920
Hi, there. You must be the Reverend Lawlor.
863
00:47:49,004 --> 00:47:50,005
Carrie, it's a pleasure.
864
00:47:50,088 --> 00:47:51,928
I've heard such impressive
things from Tiffany.
865
00:47:52,007 --> 00:47:53,174
- Please.
- Oh, thank you.
866
00:47:53,259 --> 00:47:57,304
Well, she's told me really great
things about your holy work, sir.
867
00:47:57,388 --> 00:48:00,098
So, it sounds like you've
been on quite a journey.
868
00:48:00,181 --> 00:48:02,893
Using your time here to
get back on the right path?
869
00:48:02,976 --> 00:48:05,354
It's a testament to the power
of prison rehabilitation.
870
00:48:05,437 --> 00:48:07,731
Oh, absolutely, yes.
871
00:48:07,814 --> 00:48:11,735
You know, there's... so
much time here to think...
872
00:48:12,736 --> 00:48:17,491
reflect on life... regrets... on sin.
873
00:48:17,574 --> 00:48:19,242
Yeah. Tell me more about that.
874
00:48:20,786 --> 00:48:23,121
Forgive me, I just...
875
00:48:23,204 --> 00:48:25,832
I get so emotional when
I have to talk about this.
876
00:48:27,918 --> 00:48:30,045
You know, like the Bible says...
877
00:48:30,128 --> 00:48:35,133
"If man also lie with mankind
the way he lieth with woman... "
878
00:48:35,216 --> 00:48:37,761
"both have committed an abomination."
879
00:48:37,844 --> 00:48:40,556
- Amen. Exactly.
- You're not alone.
880
00:48:40,639 --> 00:48:43,392
I've talked to so many
people like yourself.
881
00:48:43,475 --> 00:48:45,268
Faggots who have committed disgusting acts
882
00:48:45,352 --> 00:48:48,314
before admitting that they'd
fallen prey to this illness.
883
00:48:48,397 --> 00:48:50,774
I hope you don't mind my asking...
884
00:48:50,857 --> 00:48:52,609
what was it that turned you to the light?
885
00:48:52,693 --> 00:48:56,822
Well, I just, I prayed. A lot.
886
00:48:56,905 --> 00:48:58,824
And then Jesus came in me...
887
00:49:00,326 --> 00:49:04,455
To me, sorry. Jesus came
to me... with so much love.
888
00:49:04,538 --> 00:49:06,289
- Praise the
Lord. - Mmm-hmm.
889
00:49:07,499 --> 00:49:10,210
Reverend, Tiffany said that...
890
00:49:10,293 --> 00:49:13,547
you might be able to take up a collection
891
00:49:13,630 --> 00:49:15,757
to help support me
892
00:49:15,841 --> 00:49:19,678
as I continue my walk
on the path of decency.
893
00:49:20,387 --> 00:49:24,224
Stories like yours really
resonate with the congregation.
894
00:49:24,307 --> 00:49:27,603
The narrative of the reformed
sinner spreading the gospel.
895
00:49:27,686 --> 00:49:31,773
And let me tell you, your story,
a tale of wickedness and depravity,
896
00:49:31,857 --> 00:49:33,274
a thieving dyke.
897
00:49:33,359 --> 00:49:36,653
Well, that should make for a
compelling inspirational pamphlet.
898
00:49:36,737 --> 00:49:37,821
[chuckles]
899
00:49:37,904 --> 00:49:40,949
Of course, we'll need to cover
that tattoo of yours for the photo.
900
00:49:45,662 --> 00:49:46,830
[scoffs]
901
00:49:47,914 --> 00:49:49,916
- Reverend Lawlor?
- Are you all right?
902
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:54,713
Yes, I'm... just trying
to remember the passage.
903
00:49:54,796 --> 00:49:58,842
Oh, yes... it's Corinthians 69.
904
00:49:58,925 --> 00:50:00,636
I think it goes...
905
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:04,347
"Suck my big fat dyke dick,
906
00:50:04,431 --> 00:50:08,810
you fucking hateful piece of shit!"
907
00:50:08,894 --> 00:50:10,812
- Fuck you! What?
- All right, settle down.
908
00:50:10,896 --> 00:50:11,980
- That's enough.
- I'm good.
909
00:50:12,063 --> 00:50:15,066
Jesus was a fag. He said,
"This is my body. Eat me."
910
00:50:16,109 --> 00:50:17,903
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Thank you.
911
00:50:17,986 --> 00:50:19,320
I appreciate your time.
912
00:50:19,405 --> 00:50:20,947
- It was very informative.
- Thank you.
913
00:50:21,031 --> 00:50:23,825
- All right, Joe, thanks.
- Thank you.
914
00:50:23,909 --> 00:50:25,577
Drive safe.
915
00:50:25,661 --> 00:50:29,039
Watch yourself on Route
16, huh? Uh, speed trap.
916
00:50:35,170 --> 00:50:36,254
So?
917
00:50:38,048 --> 00:50:41,176
I'd polish up that resume
if I were you, Ford.
918
00:50:42,469 --> 00:50:43,470
[sighs]
919
00:50:52,353 --> 00:50:53,564
[sighs]
920
00:51:02,739 --> 00:51:04,240
Can I have one of those?
921
00:51:05,784 --> 00:51:07,202
Get the fuck out of here.
922
00:51:07,285 --> 00:51:08,286
[scoffs]
923
00:51:09,496 --> 00:51:11,372
What the hell is wrong with all of you?
924
00:51:12,749 --> 00:51:15,752
I swear to God, you were my kid...
925
00:51:17,253 --> 00:51:18,464
[scoffs]
926
00:51:20,381 --> 00:51:23,176
If you were my kid,
you'd still be fucked up.
927
00:51:25,637 --> 00:51:26,805
Please.
928
00:51:28,264 --> 00:51:29,432
I need something.
929
00:51:30,767 --> 00:51:31,768
You okay?
930
00:51:42,195 --> 00:51:43,196
He's gone.
931
00:51:45,574 --> 00:51:46,742
I know.
932
00:51:50,411 --> 00:51:53,749
Fucking piece of shit. Like all of them.
933
00:51:54,791 --> 00:51:56,084
Yep.
934
00:51:58,712 --> 00:52:01,422
Can't believe he just left us.
935
00:52:15,186 --> 00:52:17,480
It's not the worst thing
that'll happen to that kid.
936
00:52:36,416 --> 00:52:38,209
[Pennsatucky] I'm glad you're back.
937
00:52:38,293 --> 00:52:39,795
Seeing you like that was scarier
938
00:52:39,878 --> 00:52:43,840
than seein' that dolphin penis at SeaWorld.
939
00:52:43,924 --> 00:52:46,802
Around all that water, it
looked out of place, you know.
940
00:52:46,885 --> 00:52:48,929
Some ladies just ain't
meant to look lady-like.
941
00:52:49,012 --> 00:52:51,973
Now, my mother would disagree.
942
00:52:52,057 --> 00:52:54,685
She'd say, "Don't be a salmon."
943
00:52:55,644 --> 00:52:56,770
Is that a vagina thing?
944
00:52:56,853 --> 00:53:00,440
No. Salmon, they swim
upstream... against the current.
945
00:53:00,523 --> 00:53:01,524
Oh.
946
00:53:06,237 --> 00:53:08,448
Wish I'd said goodbye to her.
947
00:53:09,700 --> 00:53:13,244
- But I was dumb. - Mmm-mmm.
Today, you were brave.
948
00:53:13,328 --> 00:53:14,370
Ha!
949
00:53:14,454 --> 00:53:16,247
Horseshit.
950
00:53:16,331 --> 00:53:18,709
I got six weeks extra work duty.
951
00:53:18,792 --> 00:53:21,670
Yeah, but you stood up for yourself,
and that's more than I can say.
952
00:53:21,753 --> 00:53:24,756
No, I just showed them who I really am.
953
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:28,719
A big, stupid, stubborn...
pussy-loving dyke.
954
00:53:28,802 --> 00:53:33,181
Hey, well, listen, if that's who
you are, then that's who you are.
955
00:53:33,264 --> 00:53:34,850
And there's no use in fightin' it,
956
00:53:34,933 --> 00:53:38,311
and if you ain't gonna fight
it, you might as well embrace it,
957
00:53:38,394 --> 00:53:40,230
or else you're living in purgatory.
958
00:53:42,523 --> 00:53:43,859
Fuck yeah.
959
00:53:45,151 --> 00:53:48,655
Here's to heaven or hell
and nothing in between.
960
00:53:48,739 --> 00:53:49,781
- Boom!
- Boom.
961
00:53:50,699 --> 00:53:53,451
Probably hell, though. I mean,
who the fuck am I kidding?
962
00:53:54,620 --> 00:53:55,787
Oh. [clears throat]
963
00:53:58,164 --> 00:53:59,249
You need to start brushing.
964
00:53:59,332 --> 00:54:00,917
- [groaning]
- No, trust me on this.
965
00:54:01,001 --> 00:54:02,628
Seriously, take it.
966
00:54:02,711 --> 00:54:03,795
Thank you.
967
00:54:03,879 --> 00:54:06,715
- Really?
- [chuckles] Yeah, really.
968
00:54:06,798 --> 00:54:09,217
All right, I'll give it
a go, but I'm telling you,
969
00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:10,510
it's just a waste of my time.
970
00:54:10,593 --> 00:54:13,471
Oh, there is no wiser
schmuck than you, my friend.
971
00:54:13,554 --> 00:54:16,266
- Yeah, no shit. Guess what?
- Hmm?
972
00:54:16,349 --> 00:54:18,018
I'm still taking their money.
973
00:54:18,101 --> 00:54:19,853
[laughing]
974
00:54:19,936 --> 00:54:21,772
I renounce thee, Satan.
975
00:54:21,855 --> 00:54:24,190
Oh, bring that in. Yes!
976
00:54:24,274 --> 00:54:25,316
Whoo!
977
00:54:26,192 --> 00:54:28,278
- [Pennsatucky] Bunch of chumps.
- Mmm.
978
00:54:28,361 --> 00:54:29,946
Tomorrow, we'll talk about flossing.
979
00:54:30,030 --> 00:54:31,156
- The string?
- Yeah, with the string.
980
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:33,033
- Fuck that.
- No, it's important.
981
00:54:37,620 --> 00:54:39,164
[phone ringing]
982
00:54:42,458 --> 00:54:45,754
- Joe Caputo.
- Joe, Danny Pearson.
983
00:54:45,837 --> 00:54:48,548
Danny, of course.
984
00:54:48,631 --> 00:54:51,301
I hope you don't mind me calling this late.
985
00:54:51,384 --> 00:54:54,262
No, not at all. Did you make it home okay?
986
00:54:54,345 --> 00:54:57,223
I know that last turn at the
end, that left, it's confusing.
987
00:54:57,307 --> 00:55:00,936
Yeah, I made it just fine.
Um, look, I'll keep it short.
988
00:55:01,019 --> 00:55:03,313
MCC is gonna be taking over Litchfield,
989
00:55:03,396 --> 00:55:06,858
effective as soon as the
paperwork goes through.
990
00:55:06,942 --> 00:55:09,194
Holy shit!
991
00:55:09,277 --> 00:55:11,529
I'm sorry. I just...
992
00:55:11,612 --> 00:55:14,657
I thought everything that could
have gone wrong on that tour, did.
993
00:55:14,741 --> 00:55:16,702
Yeah, well, it was a real shit show.
994
00:55:16,785 --> 00:55:19,245
But we toured the maximum security facility
995
00:55:19,329 --> 00:55:20,789
before we came to visit you guys,
996
00:55:20,872 --> 00:55:22,833
and with the number of bodies down there,
997
00:55:22,916 --> 00:55:26,586
and the potential for the unused
space, it was a no-brainer.
998
00:55:26,669 --> 00:55:27,670
Wow.
999
00:55:27,754 --> 00:55:30,799
This is gonna be such a relief for
a lot of people around here, Danny.
1000
00:55:30,882 --> 00:55:32,508
Thank your bosses for me.
1001
00:55:32,592 --> 00:55:34,803
Oh, I'm glad. I gotta run right now,
1002
00:55:34,886 --> 00:55:36,512
but I look forward to
working with you, Joe.
1003
00:55:36,596 --> 00:55:38,098
Likewise.
1004
00:55:38,181 --> 00:55:41,768
Hey, Danny, thank you
so much, huh? Take care.
1005
00:55:46,064 --> 00:55:47,148
[exhales]
1006
00:55:57,117 --> 00:55:59,244
Whoo-Hoo!
1007
00:56:00,453 --> 00:56:01,872
Whoo-Hoo!
1008
00:56:02,914 --> 00:56:04,290
[laughing]
1009
00:56:08,461 --> 00:56:10,046
[exclaims]
1010
00:56:32,903 --> 00:56:34,237
[snoring]
1011
00:56:40,660 --> 00:56:41,870
Huh?
1012
00:56:41,953 --> 00:56:43,914
Oh, hell, no!
1013
00:56:43,997 --> 00:56:45,248
Too far, too far. Okay.
1014
00:56:46,499 --> 00:56:48,334
I hear you.
1015
00:56:55,133 --> 00:56:57,177
[upbeat hip-hop playing]
1016
00:56:57,201 --> 00:56:59,201
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- Resync by GoldenBeard -
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