1 00:01:23,766 --> 00:01:25,368 Wanna hear my song? 2 00:01:25,392 --> 00:01:29,372 ♪ I am beautiful in every single way ♪ 3 00:01:29,396 --> 00:01:33,001 ♪ Yes, words can't bring me down ♪ 4 00:01:33,025 --> 00:01:35,711 ♪ Oh, no ♪ 5 00:01:35,735 --> 00:01:37,171 Hi, I'm Brichelle. 6 00:01:37,195 --> 00:01:39,215 - Hello. - How are you? 7 00:01:39,239 --> 00:01:42,951 Brichelle! You back the fuck off! 8 00:01:44,202 --> 00:01:46,931 She got impulse-control issues, you know? 9 00:01:46,955 --> 00:01:50,059 I'm real smart. I know the whole periodic chart. 10 00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:51,853 I love science! 11 00:01:51,877 --> 00:01:54,647 Okay, Tasha, how about we get you a shaved ice, yes? 12 00:01:54,671 --> 00:01:55,899 What flavor would you like? 13 00:01:55,923 --> 00:01:57,257 - But I was... - Tasha. 14 00:01:58,633 --> 00:02:00,010 Blue. 15 00:02:11,688 --> 00:02:13,332 That looks vile. 16 00:02:13,356 --> 00:02:15,275 It look blue, but it tastes like red. 17 00:02:16,401 --> 00:02:19,297 Blue and red are colors, darlin'. They're not flavors. 18 00:02:19,321 --> 00:02:22,926 Well, it's tasty. I like me somethin' tasty. 19 00:02:22,950 --> 00:02:25,094 Especially on days like now. 20 00:02:25,118 --> 00:02:26,595 People only want the babies. 21 00:02:26,619 --> 00:02:28,807 Of course they want the babies. Babies are cute. 22 00:02:28,831 --> 00:02:30,224 I'm cute. 23 00:02:30,248 --> 00:02:34,187 No, you're big, and your hair's ratsy. 24 00:02:34,211 --> 00:02:37,065 And you're too eager and too dark. 25 00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:41,259 And now your mouth is blue, but I suppose it tastes like red. 26 00:02:42,469 --> 00:02:43,654 You nasty. 27 00:02:43,678 --> 00:02:44,930 Mmm-hmm. 28 00:02:46,598 --> 00:02:48,892 I just call 'em like I see 'em, darlin'. 29 00:02:50,477 --> 00:02:52,621 Your group home in this neighborhood? 30 00:02:52,645 --> 00:02:54,481 How you know I live in a group home? 31 00:03:03,073 --> 00:03:06,177 My dear boy, this feels light to me. 32 00:03:06,201 --> 00:03:09,305 Light ain't right unless you like sleeping on the street. 33 00:03:09,329 --> 00:03:12,249 Nah, it ain't light. It's just big bills. 34 00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:16,336 Well, then, I'll see you at home for dinner, baby. 35 00:03:19,297 --> 00:03:23,027 Aw, shit, you a connect. 36 00:03:23,051 --> 00:03:25,279 I'm a businesswoman. 37 00:03:25,303 --> 00:03:28,908 I couldn't help hear you braggin' on your science back there. 38 00:03:28,932 --> 00:03:30,284 I'm impressed. 39 00:03:30,308 --> 00:03:31,476 I also know pi. 40 00:03:32,519 --> 00:03:34,396 Your ass tells me you know pie. 41 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:38,417 Pi. Not "pie". 42 00:03:38,441 --> 00:03:40,503 Up to 56 digits. 43 00:03:40,527 --> 00:03:41,838 You care to learn the trade? 44 00:03:41,862 --> 00:03:45,842 Hell, no, not with no connect. 45 00:03:45,866 --> 00:03:49,369 I get in trouble, I never find a forever family. 46 00:03:50,787 --> 00:03:54,082 You might wanna start thinkin' about making your own forever family, Taystee. 47 00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:58,771 You wait around for one to come along, you might die waitin'. 48 00:03:58,795 --> 00:04:00,314 My name is Tasha. 49 00:04:00,338 --> 00:04:03,359 Yeah, but Taystee suits you somehow. 50 00:04:03,383 --> 00:04:06,970 Like you said, everybody like a little somethin' tasty. 51 00:04:08,430 --> 00:04:11,433 I'll be keepin' my eye on you, Taystee Girl. 52 00:04:12,475 --> 00:04:13,560 See you around the way. 53 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:16,915 This is sweet! 54 00:04:16,939 --> 00:04:20,001 Yo, I'd rock this if I wasn't being all professional. 55 00:04:20,025 --> 00:04:22,503 Why you care? You know it's all bullshit. 56 00:04:22,527 --> 00:04:24,588 Bullshit or no, I wanna win! 57 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:28,176 Ladies, it's about making a good first impression. 58 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,512 You got anything in white? My mother always said that was my color. 59 00:04:31,536 --> 00:04:35,058 Ugh! I mean, you could smell every inmate that's ever worn this. 60 00:04:35,082 --> 00:04:36,184 You ever wash this shit? 61 00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,769 You got something for the larger woman? Big and beautiful? 62 00:04:38,793 --> 00:04:42,172 We have plus size on the end there. 63 00:04:43,381 --> 00:04:46,235 Aw, shit. Man, I don't wanna wear no sack. 64 00:04:46,259 --> 00:04:49,697 I got curves. I'm a plushious woman. 65 00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:52,325 If this is really about career dressing for us, 66 00:04:52,349 --> 00:04:55,786 shouldn't this be all, like, McDonald's and maids' uniforms? 67 00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:57,580 No! Do not think small. 68 00:04:57,604 --> 00:05:01,250 We are dressing ourselves for the career that we want. 69 00:05:01,274 --> 00:05:04,753 You have to put it into the universe, dress for success. 70 00:05:04,777 --> 00:05:06,214 Take the leopard. 71 00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:10,759 Oh, I didn't see the leopard! Ooh, that's cute. 72 00:05:10,783 --> 00:05:14,013 What if I wanna be, like, a marine biologist? 73 00:05:14,037 --> 00:05:15,514 You got a wet suit? 74 00:05:15,538 --> 00:05:19,352 If you want to apply for a job in marine biology, 75 00:05:19,376 --> 00:05:21,980 you might have to go to an office for an interview. 76 00:05:22,004 --> 00:05:24,006 - Ha! - What about this? 77 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:28,468 The peach tones would look so good with your skin. 78 00:05:29,719 --> 00:05:31,614 Could somebody help zip me, please? 79 00:05:31,638 --> 00:05:33,657 I don't think that's gonna work. 80 00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:34,783 You callin' me fat? 81 00:05:34,807 --> 00:05:39,122 No. I'm just saying that you're... yeah, you're broad. 82 00:05:39,146 --> 00:05:41,564 You're like a broad broad. 83 00:05:42,732 --> 00:05:44,377 She a broad somethin.' 84 00:05:44,401 --> 00:05:45,777 And you a bitch somethin.' 85 00:05:47,154 --> 00:05:49,590 I'm gonna pull in this side here. 86 00:05:49,614 --> 00:05:52,343 - Careful. Careful. - And you pull in that side. 87 00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:54,095 And someone's gotta get the zipper. 88 00:05:54,119 --> 00:05:55,846 - Okay, we can do this. - Okay. 89 00:05:55,870 --> 00:05:58,141 I'll do the zipper. Let's go. Suck it in, girl. 90 00:05:58,165 --> 00:05:59,225 I am sucking. 91 00:05:59,249 --> 00:06:00,583 Fuck. 92 00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:02,752 Oh, God. 93 00:06:04,546 --> 00:06:05,856 How's it look? 94 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,316 Like I don't wanna be anywhere near you 95 00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:10,718 when those beads pop off and shoot people in the face. 96 00:06:12,845 --> 00:06:14,490 Out of curiosity, 97 00:06:14,514 --> 00:06:17,160 what kind of job were you thinking of gettin' in that? 98 00:06:17,184 --> 00:06:18,786 I'm just here playin' dress-up. 99 00:06:18,810 --> 00:06:21,497 Ladies, you better get movin.' 100 00:06:21,521 --> 00:06:24,333 We're walkin' over to that chapel in 10 minutes. 101 00:06:24,357 --> 00:06:25,543 I don't have anything. 102 00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:28,695 Hey, can I ask you something? 103 00:06:29,779 --> 00:06:32,675 What would you wear if you were going to a job interview 104 00:06:32,699 --> 00:06:35,010 at a medical supply company in Utica? 105 00:06:35,034 --> 00:06:37,036 Just hypothetically speaking. 106 00:06:38,205 --> 00:06:41,100 How come Flaca gets to do job fair and we're stuck here? 107 00:06:41,124 --> 00:06:42,268 'Cause Flaca asked first, 108 00:06:42,292 --> 00:06:44,353 and if I let everybody go, nobody would be here. 109 00:06:44,377 --> 00:06:46,021 Next time, ask first. 110 00:06:46,045 --> 00:06:48,191 She don't even need job fair. 111 00:06:48,215 --> 00:06:50,234 Her boyfriend's like the king of molly. 112 00:06:50,258 --> 00:06:52,070 He be selling to every club kid in New York. 113 00:06:52,094 --> 00:06:53,196 That shit is blowing up. 114 00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:54,363 What's molly? 115 00:06:54,387 --> 00:06:57,741 The pure powder form of MDMA. 116 00:06:57,765 --> 00:07:01,787 Supposed to be like a clean ecstasy, but it made me grind my teeth. 117 00:07:01,811 --> 00:07:03,831 How come you ain't in jail, Luschek? 118 00:07:03,855 --> 00:07:07,710 I am in jail, every fuckin' day. 119 00:07:07,734 --> 00:07:08,919 You want the radiator on or off? 120 00:07:08,943 --> 00:07:10,546 Off. It's hot enough in here. 121 00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:13,174 And freezing everywhere else. 122 00:07:13,198 --> 00:07:16,344 The pipes in our bathroom froze again, how about deal with that? 123 00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:17,720 I'm not a plumber. 124 00:07:17,744 --> 00:07:20,955 Oh, our mistake, you got that whole ass-crack thing going, so... 125 00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:26,895 Inmate, you want me to give you a shot? 126 00:07:26,919 --> 00:07:29,339 Hey, have a job fair brownie. 127 00:07:33,676 --> 00:07:36,429 Maria, stop running your mouth and run the dishwasher. 128 00:07:37,514 --> 00:07:41,077 Daya? Ven, I've got something for you. 129 00:07:41,101 --> 00:07:43,270 Thank God. I'm dying. 130 00:07:44,271 --> 00:07:45,414 Is this gonna work? 131 00:07:45,438 --> 00:07:46,981 It should. Drink up, mami. 132 00:07:50,443 --> 00:07:51,843 What are you giving her over there? 133 00:07:52,779 --> 00:07:53,881 It's nothing. 134 00:07:53,905 --> 00:07:56,425 It's to help her poop. She's backed up. 135 00:07:56,449 --> 00:07:58,051 Why didn't you tell me? 136 00:07:58,075 --> 00:08:00,495 - You don't wanna hear about my bathroom. - Of course I do. 137 00:08:01,538 --> 00:08:02,890 Okay, Aleida. 138 00:08:02,914 --> 00:08:05,934 I haven't shit for five days, you happy? 139 00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:07,001 Ugh! 140 00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:09,254 Thank you, Gloria. 141 00:08:14,134 --> 00:08:15,236 What do you think you're doing? 142 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,612 Oh, man, relax. 143 00:08:16,636 --> 00:08:18,156 It's prune juice, olive oil, a little magic. 144 00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:19,782 It's not gonna hurt the baby. 145 00:08:19,806 --> 00:08:22,576 You're not her mother, I'm her mother. 146 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,287 I think right now you're more like her aunt. 147 00:08:24,311 --> 00:08:26,455 Uh-uh, no. 148 00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:29,625 I didn't get me a belly full of stretch marks to be no fucking tía. 149 00:08:29,649 --> 00:08:34,297 Look, relax, she came to me, I helped her out. 150 00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:35,655 She's comfortable with me. 151 00:08:36,781 --> 00:08:38,741 Yeah, too comfortable. 152 00:08:39,784 --> 00:08:45,683 So, as you can see, we have a very exciting few days planned for all of you. 153 00:08:45,707 --> 00:08:50,313 And now to start things off, here from Dress for Success, 154 00:08:50,337 --> 00:08:55,258 to give you some dos and don'ts of interview dressing, Mrs. Sackin. 155 00:09:00,472 --> 00:09:01,824 Thank you. 156 00:09:01,848 --> 00:09:07,830 Dress for Success is the premier support network for today's unemployed woman. 157 00:09:07,854 --> 00:09:09,957 Let us begin our journey. Ladies? 158 00:09:09,981 --> 00:09:11,233 Oh! 159 00:09:24,537 --> 00:09:26,498 Okay, right away, what do we see? 160 00:09:26,873 --> 00:09:30,018 That a cocktail dress is not proper interview attire. 161 00:09:30,042 --> 00:09:33,105 This is not corporate or even daytime wear. 162 00:09:33,129 --> 00:09:34,982 - Nope. - Wholly unprofessional. 163 00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:37,133 I'm just showing off my assets. 164 00:09:39,552 --> 00:09:44,533 Next, I'm going to say leopard, little sailor girl, 165 00:09:44,557 --> 00:09:48,829 and our friend in peach here are also not properly attired for an interview. 166 00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:53,209 The animal print is too racy and implies poor judgment, 167 00:09:53,233 --> 00:09:56,379 and the sailor outfit is childish. 168 00:09:56,403 --> 00:09:59,340 - Companies are looking to hire adults. - Adults. 169 00:09:59,364 --> 00:10:03,927 And finally, the peach is simply ill-fitting, dated, and not flattering. 170 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,888 - But you told me to wear it. - Yeah, you did. 171 00:10:05,912 --> 00:10:07,806 I just wanna swim with dolphins. 172 00:10:07,830 --> 00:10:10,082 Thank you, you can leave the stage now. 173 00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:14,730 Okay, let's look at what's going right up here. 174 00:10:14,754 --> 00:10:19,443 This is a good interview outfit. 175 00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:21,028 It fits her well. 176 00:10:21,052 --> 00:10:24,448 The dark stockings give it a conservative, polished finish. 177 00:10:24,472 --> 00:10:28,661 I believe the makeup is a bit gothic and heavy-handed, 178 00:10:28,685 --> 00:10:30,829 but overall the look is solid. 179 00:10:30,853 --> 00:10:33,064 That's right, solid. 180 00:10:35,692 --> 00:10:39,922 Another strong ensemble we have is the pantsuit and blouse. 181 00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:41,489 It's classic. 182 00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:48,264 However, we do run into some serious problems with personal grooming here. 183 00:10:48,288 --> 00:10:49,348 Huh? 184 00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:52,935 The hair, it's messy, unpolished, unkempt. 185 00:10:52,959 --> 00:10:55,145 - My hair is clean. - It's wild and slovenly. 186 00:10:55,169 --> 00:10:57,273 I'm sorry it's not uptight and boring! 187 00:10:57,297 --> 00:11:03,571 But here, the hair is nicely coiffed, the makeup is subtle and understated. 188 00:11:03,595 --> 00:11:07,950 However, the shirt is too sheer, and the skirt is too tight. 189 00:11:07,974 --> 00:11:09,809 Uh-uh, hold up. Pause. 190 00:11:10,893 --> 00:11:14,623 At job fair last year, this was the winnin' outfit. I seen it myself. 191 00:11:14,647 --> 00:11:18,126 That's why I picked it instead of the blue dress I know I'd look bangin' in. 192 00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:22,465 Let's talk a moment about dressing for your body type and your skin tone. 193 00:11:22,489 --> 00:11:27,052 A fuller-figured woman might wanna choose a looser-fitting garment, 194 00:11:27,076 --> 00:11:30,764 perhaps a dress as opposed to a shirt and a skirt. 195 00:11:30,788 --> 00:11:35,436 Not as loose as this, which resembles a large burlap muumuu. 196 00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:36,461 No shit. 197 00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:40,941 But something in a jewel tone with a contrasting scarf. 198 00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:43,151 - I know I look good. - Man, I still look hella office. 199 00:11:43,175 --> 00:11:46,822 I walk in, they be like, "Yeah, she know her business". 200 00:11:46,846 --> 00:11:48,347 Yeah! 201 00:11:50,517 --> 00:11:52,370 So, who wins? 202 00:11:52,394 --> 00:11:54,788 Overall, despite the excessive eye makeup, 203 00:11:54,812 --> 00:11:57,649 I would have to give it to this young lady right here. 204 00:12:00,234 --> 00:12:03,589 That's right, Latina, we the winna. 205 00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:06,299 Man, you gave it to Franken-cha-cha? 206 00:12:06,323 --> 00:12:09,827 This is some bullshit, shit to the bull. 207 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:18,479 Damn, that Kool take you out to dinner first? 208 00:12:18,503 --> 00:12:20,773 Man, you sound just like Marsha. 209 00:12:20,797 --> 00:12:22,900 You know she right there in that kitchen. 210 00:12:22,924 --> 00:12:26,529 Like I care. Only got two weeks left in this shit hole. 211 00:12:26,553 --> 00:12:30,574 Little girl, you look like a dragon with all that smoke coming out of your nose. 212 00:12:30,598 --> 00:12:32,868 Please, you smoke like a hooptie's tailpipe, 213 00:12:32,892 --> 00:12:34,477 puffin' up and down the street. 214 00:12:36,604 --> 00:12:40,250 I'm an adult, it gives me the right to make bad choices. 215 00:12:40,274 --> 00:12:43,378 We heading over to Rayleen's for something delicious. Care to join us? 216 00:12:43,402 --> 00:12:44,838 I gotta work. 217 00:12:44,862 --> 00:12:48,592 Well, we working, too, except our work doesn't leave us smelling like rancid oil. 218 00:12:48,616 --> 00:12:50,910 Yeah, you clean as a drug-dealin' whistle. 219 00:12:52,286 --> 00:12:55,974 You should decline an offer by simply saying, "No, thank you." 220 00:12:55,998 --> 00:12:59,836 Otherwise, people will stop inviting you to things. 221 00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:02,421 I could eat. 222 00:13:03,506 --> 00:13:06,509 Well, come on, then, let's nourish that body. 223 00:13:07,594 --> 00:13:09,929 Bye-bye, Taystee Girl. 224 00:13:16,853 --> 00:13:19,206 Sure you not tryin' to come out and eat, though? 225 00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:20,940 No, RJ, I gotta get to work. 226 00:13:22,274 --> 00:13:24,360 All right, be safe, though. 227 00:13:32,243 --> 00:13:34,763 Is the chicken flavor Cup of Noodles back in stock, 228 00:13:34,787 --> 00:13:36,849 or have you only got the shrimp? 229 00:13:36,873 --> 00:13:38,476 We got cream of chicken. 230 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,810 No, I don't like that one. 231 00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:41,979 You want shrimpy? 232 00:13:42,003 --> 00:13:44,523 Sure, I'll take five of those, 233 00:13:44,547 --> 00:13:48,527 and I don't want the tuna with the spicy sauce, just plain tuna. 234 00:13:48,551 --> 00:13:51,679 Oh, and for the coffee, the dark roast, please. 235 00:13:53,389 --> 00:13:54,950 How's the fitness going, O'Neill? 236 00:13:54,974 --> 00:13:59,121 I'm in the forty-seven hundreds. Over 10,000 steps a day. 237 00:13:59,145 --> 00:14:04,251 You'll make it easy, it's still early, and good for you. 238 00:14:04,275 --> 00:14:05,377 One step at a time. 239 00:14:05,401 --> 00:14:08,130 - Uh-oh, problem. - What kind of problem? 240 00:14:08,154 --> 00:14:10,674 No-money-in-account problem. 241 00:14:10,698 --> 00:14:12,324 What are you talking about? 242 00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:20,308 Call your family. I can't sell you shit. 243 00:14:20,332 --> 00:14:22,126 Sorry, next! 244 00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:31,278 Do you understand what this is doing to my plants? 245 00:14:31,302 --> 00:14:33,614 There was frost on my succulent. 246 00:14:33,638 --> 00:14:36,909 This is a desert plant, it should not be freezing. 247 00:14:36,933 --> 00:14:39,620 Look, the furnace needs to be replaced. 248 00:14:39,644 --> 00:14:41,789 I could dickpaw it all day. It's never getting hot again. 249 00:14:41,813 --> 00:14:43,749 Mmm, like your mother. 250 00:14:43,773 --> 00:14:46,794 Ah, delightful, a "your mama" joke? That's priceless. 251 00:14:46,818 --> 00:14:47,920 What did Fig say? 252 00:14:47,944 --> 00:14:50,548 What do you think? She hiked up her skirt... 253 00:14:50,572 --> 00:14:51,632 Yeah. 254 00:14:51,656 --> 00:14:52,800 Told me to Band-Aid the old heap 255 00:14:52,824 --> 00:14:55,719 and gave me 50 bucks to buy a space heater for her office. 256 00:14:55,743 --> 00:14:59,056 And you ran off like a good little puppy and you did it for her. 257 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,724 Joke's on her. 258 00:15:00,748 --> 00:15:03,936 Space heater cost 27 bucks, that's 23 bucks profit, man. 259 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,419 That's dinner for two at Sizzler. 260 00:15:09,215 --> 00:15:10,382 Here's $4. 261 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,155 Add it to the 23. 262 00:15:15,179 --> 00:15:18,033 Buy me one of those space heaters, or I'm gonna rat you out. 263 00:15:18,057 --> 00:15:19,827 No Sizzler for you. 264 00:15:19,851 --> 00:15:21,227 Shit. 265 00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:25,999 Don't forget, ladies, your usual meal is 1,500 calories. 266 00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:28,126 Beware of overeating. 267 00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:29,336 Hey, where's your doggy? 268 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,945 Um... 269 00:15:32,655 --> 00:15:36,051 Look what I got, look what I got. That's right, that's right. 270 00:15:36,075 --> 00:15:40,055 Oh! You love that, don't you? Yeah, yeah. 271 00:15:40,079 --> 00:15:42,808 You just lick, lick, lick. You like peanut butter, don't you? 272 00:15:42,832 --> 00:15:46,729 You like to lick that, don't you? Oh, just lick, lick, lick. 273 00:15:46,753 --> 00:15:48,045 Lick. 274 00:15:52,842 --> 00:15:53,843 Lick. 275 00:15:54,551 --> 00:15:55,779 It got weird. 276 00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:58,598 Oh, okay. 277 00:15:59,556 --> 00:16:01,809 Look who's here. 278 00:16:07,439 --> 00:16:08,584 Should I tell Gloria? 279 00:16:08,608 --> 00:16:11,044 Nah, a few weeks ago, Gloria said the roja could eat, 280 00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:13,130 but she just never came in till now. 281 00:16:13,154 --> 00:16:15,257 Why'd she let her off the hook? 282 00:16:15,281 --> 00:16:18,135 Well, you got to figure, she lost her kitchen, 283 00:16:18,159 --> 00:16:22,139 she lost her girls, and her hair is all fucked up. 284 00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:25,267 Let her have some shitty food and get on with her life. 285 00:16:25,291 --> 00:16:26,393 If it was up to me, 286 00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:28,395 _ 287 00:16:28,419 --> 00:16:30,105 That's a bear. 288 00:16:30,129 --> 00:16:31,607 _ 289 00:16:31,631 --> 00:16:32,691 _ 290 00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:35,152 She's hibernating until she gets strong again 291 00:16:35,176 --> 00:16:37,946 _ 292 00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:39,114 And she's gonna shred up 293 00:16:39,138 --> 00:16:43,851 _ 294 00:16:44,852 --> 00:16:46,830 What the fuck do you know about bears? 295 00:16:46,854 --> 00:16:49,649 What, you live by the Bronx Zoo or somethin'? 296 00:17:04,246 --> 00:17:05,307 _ 297 00:17:05,331 --> 00:17:06,684 You can see it in her eyes. 298 00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:08,143 You're full of shit. 299 00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:10,478 No, Daya's the one who's full of shit. 300 00:17:10,502 --> 00:17:11,814 It's true. 301 00:17:11,838 --> 00:17:13,857 It's not funny right now, I'm not in a good way. 302 00:17:13,881 --> 00:17:17,903 She's right, it's our "doodie" not to make fun of her. 303 00:17:17,927 --> 00:17:19,762 Yeah, 'cause that would be crappy. 304 00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:23,408 You guys are such assholes. 305 00:17:23,432 --> 00:17:26,518 At least these assholes are working. Oh, snap! 306 00:17:27,812 --> 00:17:32,108 Inmate Martinez, report for an assignment at the laundry detail. 307 00:17:33,192 --> 00:17:36,922 Ook-lay oo's-hay ere-hay. 308 00:17:36,946 --> 00:17:38,506 Subtle, Morello. 309 00:17:38,530 --> 00:17:40,843 It's just still throwing me, you know? 310 00:17:40,867 --> 00:17:43,053 Not seeing her in her chef's jacket, you know? 311 00:17:43,077 --> 00:17:44,512 Mmm. 312 00:17:44,536 --> 00:17:47,432 It's like when you see a cop in sweat pants in your kitchen 313 00:17:47,456 --> 00:17:49,333 after he's spent the night with your sister. 314 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:55,047 Little splooge on the sweat pants, and you feel weird about it. 315 00:18:11,605 --> 00:18:14,001 She said she's seeing some shit. 316 00:18:14,025 --> 00:18:15,067 Oh. 317 00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:18,756 She's high as a kite on psych meds. 318 00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:20,072 That's too bad. 319 00:18:21,157 --> 00:18:22,384 Care to join us? 320 00:18:22,408 --> 00:18:23,785 No, thanks. 321 00:18:25,244 --> 00:18:28,056 Happy here, nice and quiet, but thank you. 322 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,415 Suit yourself. 323 00:18:41,928 --> 00:18:43,262 There she is. 324 00:18:45,222 --> 00:18:46,265 Penn. 325 00:18:48,017 --> 00:18:49,702 Hi. 326 00:18:49,726 --> 00:18:53,581 We didn't think we were ever gonna see you again, what happened? 327 00:18:53,605 --> 00:18:55,775 Last thing I remember is I was an angel. 328 00:18:59,862 --> 00:19:03,157 Well, I heard y'all beat the holy mess out of each other. 329 00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:06,660 Yeah, I mean, I suppose she got a few licks in. 330 00:19:08,788 --> 00:19:10,539 Well, talk to you later. 331 00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:16,545 I understand. 332 00:19:22,802 --> 00:19:24,428 Would you like to dance? 333 00:19:31,352 --> 00:19:33,080 Hey, Fischer, how you doing? 334 00:19:33,104 --> 00:19:36,124 Fine, sir, thanks for asking, back in the swing of things. 335 00:19:36,148 --> 00:19:38,919 Good to hear. Doggett, take a seat. 336 00:19:38,943 --> 00:19:40,903 Would you close the door, please? 337 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,633 So, out of the penalty box, huh? 338 00:19:45,657 --> 00:19:47,510 I'm sorry, what? 339 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:50,055 Nothing. Penalty box. Hockey? 340 00:19:50,079 --> 00:19:55,143 No, no, no. No hockey, Mr. Healy. I've been in SHU. 341 00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:58,646 It's been like a month, I think, right? A month? Yeah. 342 00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:01,673 So they just pulled me out, said I was back. 343 00:20:02,925 --> 00:20:04,236 Am I back? 344 00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:05,653 For now. 345 00:20:05,677 --> 00:20:08,305 I suppose you're wondering why I called you down here. 346 00:20:09,348 --> 00:20:13,853 Uh, counseling? Make sure I don't go cuckoo again? 347 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:18,834 I won't. I got all my marbles back. 348 00:20:18,858 --> 00:20:20,359 I thought we should talk. 349 00:20:21,652 --> 00:20:23,320 Get things straight. 350 00:20:27,533 --> 00:20:29,201 All right. 351 00:20:31,203 --> 00:20:36,500 I mean, I can promise you that I've never felt more saner than I do now. 352 00:20:37,709 --> 00:20:42,339 You know, when you spend that much time down there in solitude, 353 00:20:43,757 --> 00:20:47,970 it's like real purification. You know, my heart feels right. 354 00:20:49,138 --> 00:20:51,765 I suppose you had time to reflect on that evening, then? 355 00:20:53,976 --> 00:20:58,206 Nope, because my head is so fuzzy. 356 00:20:58,230 --> 00:20:59,565 Oh? Is that so? 357 00:21:00,732 --> 00:21:05,279 I mean, I suffered multiple contusions and... 358 00:21:06,822 --> 00:21:10,385 lacerations, and it's just freakin' painful, 359 00:21:10,409 --> 00:21:13,305 and now that I got through it, 360 00:21:13,329 --> 00:21:18,435 I started to remember, and then lots of stuff came back to me. 361 00:21:18,459 --> 00:21:19,460 Yep. 362 00:21:20,836 --> 00:21:23,923 She angered you, you confronted her, and you fought. 363 00:21:25,007 --> 00:21:26,151 Yes. 364 00:21:26,175 --> 00:21:28,552 That's it, end of story. 365 00:21:32,348 --> 00:21:35,577 No, there's more. 366 00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:36,768 What more? 367 00:21:38,687 --> 00:21:40,165 What are you talking about? 368 00:21:40,189 --> 00:21:43,251 There's, like, angles, and there's, like, extenuations and then there's... 369 00:21:43,275 --> 00:21:45,611 I didn't know what I was seeing, Doggett. 370 00:21:47,529 --> 00:21:50,008 Do you hear what I'm saying? 371 00:21:50,032 --> 00:21:52,826 I had no idea that you two were gonna... 372 00:21:54,954 --> 00:22:00,435 You could have been having a talk, a lovers' quarrel, even, I don't know, 373 00:22:00,459 --> 00:22:02,479 and I certainly didn't see a weapon. 374 00:22:02,503 --> 00:22:04,522 Holiday times, tensions get high. 375 00:22:04,546 --> 00:22:07,192 I mean, God knows Katya was testier than ever then, 376 00:22:07,216 --> 00:22:08,944 but don't think for a second 377 00:22:08,968 --> 00:22:12,221 that anyone is gonna believe a meth-addled hillbilly over me. 378 00:22:14,848 --> 00:22:17,684 Be 100% fucking clear about that. 379 00:22:22,939 --> 00:22:25,151 Well, they might just... 380 00:22:26,860 --> 00:22:31,758 believe the poster girl for the right-to-life movement. 381 00:22:31,782 --> 00:22:34,177 You know, I was on Greta Van Susteren, 382 00:22:34,201 --> 00:22:38,539 and what if they knew you were about to let me get killed? 383 00:22:40,082 --> 00:22:42,751 I ought to throw you back in seg and let you rot. 384 00:22:49,258 --> 00:22:52,219 What would help you forget what you think you saw? 385 00:22:53,220 --> 00:22:54,221 Mmm. 386 00:22:55,222 --> 00:22:58,463 Uh, I'm still not sure how that answers the questions I have regarding the budget. 387 00:22:58,475 --> 00:22:59,994 That's why I invited you today. 388 00:23:00,018 --> 00:23:04,082 Programs like Dress for Success, our job fair, 389 00:23:04,106 --> 00:23:06,793 our Christmas pageant, Readers to Readers, 390 00:23:06,817 --> 00:23:12,340 are not a top priority for the DOC, but they are so important for morale, 391 00:23:12,364 --> 00:23:16,803 for education, for rehabilitation. 392 00:23:16,827 --> 00:23:20,515 Until we can get the government on board for some serious reform, 393 00:23:20,539 --> 00:23:23,476 a little shifting of funds is a necessity, 394 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:26,313 but I assure you all of the money is being used 395 00:23:26,337 --> 00:23:29,590 for the good of the prison and its residents. 396 00:23:31,217 --> 00:23:33,027 Okay. 397 00:23:33,051 --> 00:23:37,031 And I noticed that your husband is running for state senate. 398 00:23:37,055 --> 00:23:40,327 Is your passion for education a value he shares? 399 00:23:40,351 --> 00:23:41,661 Absolutely. 400 00:23:41,685 --> 00:23:46,732 Uh, but any questions you have for Jason, you can direct towards his office. 401 00:23:47,733 --> 00:23:51,463 I hope I've shed some light on how the money 402 00:23:51,487 --> 00:23:55,133 is being used to benefit the inmates here at Litchfield. 403 00:23:55,157 --> 00:23:57,302 Uh, well, actually, I've got a few more questions... 404 00:23:57,326 --> 00:24:00,746 Because I'm afraid, sadly, I have to get back to work. 405 00:24:01,955 --> 00:24:03,165 Prison doesn't run itself. 406 00:24:07,586 --> 00:24:11,274 I mean, she gave me the freakin' outfit. It was one big setup. 407 00:24:11,298 --> 00:24:14,068 So now the two black girls, the lesbo junkie girl, 408 00:24:14,092 --> 00:24:17,029 and some Mexican get to go on and do the interview part, 409 00:24:17,053 --> 00:24:18,823 and I'm back here. 410 00:24:18,847 --> 00:24:20,700 Well, your makeup looks real pretty. 411 00:24:20,724 --> 00:24:22,702 Like, I didn't even know you had eyelashes till today. 412 00:24:22,726 --> 00:24:24,204 You look really nice. 413 00:24:24,228 --> 00:24:27,332 Thanks, Ange. That's nice of you to say. 414 00:24:27,356 --> 00:24:30,793 Hey, did you know that Peon's out of seg? 415 00:24:30,817 --> 00:24:32,920 - What? - Mmm-hmm. 416 00:24:32,944 --> 00:24:34,506 How do you know? 417 00:24:34,530 --> 00:24:38,176 'Cause I seen her, after lunch, walking to Healy's office. 418 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,844 How'd she look? 419 00:24:39,868 --> 00:24:42,264 She looked pretty rough. 420 00:24:42,288 --> 00:24:46,792 I mean, if her teeth was bad before? Woof, ain't much left in there. 421 00:24:48,210 --> 00:24:50,254 Guard Thompson to the tower. 422 00:24:51,797 --> 00:24:54,567 Don't get me wrong or nothin, ' but since she's been away, 423 00:24:54,591 --> 00:24:57,779 hasn't it been, like, kind of nice in here? 424 00:24:57,803 --> 00:24:59,638 - What do you mean? - I don't know, like... 425 00:25:01,139 --> 00:25:04,118 like, peaceful, easy. 426 00:25:04,142 --> 00:25:06,770 No yelling, no telling everyone they're going to hell, just... 427 00:25:07,938 --> 00:25:10,417 Just quiet, you know? 428 00:25:10,441 --> 00:25:11,525 Yeah. 429 00:25:13,652 --> 00:25:15,463 But you won't tell her I said nothing, right? 430 00:25:15,487 --> 00:25:16,548 'Course not. 431 00:25:16,572 --> 00:25:19,074 Ladies, check the board for work assignments. 432 00:25:28,625 --> 00:25:31,002 So, where's Piper now? 433 00:25:32,504 --> 00:25:34,065 Still in Chicago, I imagine it. 434 00:25:34,089 --> 00:25:36,276 Larry, I wanted to talk about you, not her. 435 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:38,278 She staying there? In Chicago? 436 00:25:38,302 --> 00:25:40,697 She hates deep-dish. 437 00:25:40,721 --> 00:25:41,906 Don't know if she's staying. 438 00:25:41,930 --> 00:25:44,242 Don't think she's eating a whole lot of pizza. 439 00:25:44,266 --> 00:25:46,118 - Larry... - How'd she seem to you? 440 00:25:46,142 --> 00:25:49,664 Seemed like an idiot to me. I gave her advice, and she didn't take it. 441 00:25:49,688 --> 00:25:53,359 You gave her love, and she cheated on you. I'm not a fan, and end of topic. 442 00:25:54,693 --> 00:25:57,339 - I miss her. - Well, then, find a distraction, son, 443 00:25:57,363 --> 00:26:00,925 something that doesn't involve moping around, eating crap 444 00:26:00,949 --> 00:26:03,720 - and playing that World of Warlock. - Warcraft. 445 00:26:03,744 --> 00:26:04,929 Warcraft, perfect. 446 00:26:04,953 --> 00:26:07,599 You can join the tank corps, another waste of time. 447 00:26:07,623 --> 00:26:08,683 Go get laid. 448 00:26:08,707 --> 00:26:11,561 - I'm not ready. - For what? 449 00:26:11,585 --> 00:26:14,731 For sticking your dick in something new and cute and moving it around? 450 00:26:14,755 --> 00:26:16,524 All guys are ready for that. 451 00:26:16,548 --> 00:26:19,777 These two over here are ready for it any moment now. 452 00:26:19,801 --> 00:26:21,052 Get on with your life. 453 00:26:35,066 --> 00:26:38,236 You're right. No, you're right. 454 00:26:39,863 --> 00:26:42,741 She cheated, right? I mean... 455 00:26:43,909 --> 00:26:46,763 She lied, why am I holding on? 456 00:26:46,787 --> 00:26:48,848 Prison changed her. It changes people. 457 00:26:48,872 --> 00:26:51,073 - I heard that. - I mean, she was not a lesbian anymore, 458 00:26:51,082 --> 00:26:52,143 not with me. 459 00:26:52,167 --> 00:26:54,771 You know? Then she's in prison, what, a few weeks? Bam! A lesbian again. 460 00:26:54,795 --> 00:26:57,423 Or bi? I don't even know. 461 00:26:58,424 --> 00:27:01,259 It was good with us, I know it was. 462 00:27:02,553 --> 00:27:05,573 I think, shit, I mean, what if that was a lie, too? 463 00:27:05,597 --> 00:27:07,867 But I don't think it was, I don't think it was, I mean, 464 00:27:07,891 --> 00:27:12,204 you know, I know I have some talent, I'm very attentive and thorough, 465 00:27:12,228 --> 00:27:14,916 you know, I do good work, I'm not small. 466 00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:17,084 - Larry. - You're right, I should get out there. 467 00:27:17,108 --> 00:27:19,003 I need to get out there. I'm gonna get out there. 468 00:27:19,027 --> 00:27:21,548 I made her come vaginally, do you know how hard that is to do? 469 00:27:21,572 --> 00:27:23,090 - Please, Larry. - My point is... 470 00:27:23,114 --> 00:27:26,618 I don't even know what my point is anymore. 471 00:27:34,084 --> 00:27:36,086 - Dad? - Yeah? 472 00:27:37,212 --> 00:27:39,506 Why did you bring us to a gay bathhouse? 473 00:27:40,799 --> 00:27:44,511 It's a nice place, clean. A shvitz is a shvitz. 474 00:27:48,306 --> 00:27:50,327 - I had a Groupon. - Ah, gotcha. 475 00:27:50,351 --> 00:27:53,788 Wait, so, I could put that on my résumé thing? 476 00:27:53,812 --> 00:27:55,122 - Workin' for my cousin? - Sure. 477 00:27:55,146 --> 00:28:02,070 But instead of saying that you helped make sure that no one stole shit, 478 00:28:03,071 --> 00:28:08,803 you could say that you monitored inventory and provided security. 479 00:28:08,827 --> 00:28:13,307 Ah, okay, okay, I see that, I could do that. 480 00:28:13,331 --> 00:28:16,936 I want the kind of job where I could just chill, you know? 481 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,855 Chill out, collect a check. 482 00:28:18,879 --> 00:28:23,610 According to this aptitude test, I should be a professional athlete, 483 00:28:23,634 --> 00:28:27,447 a park ranger, or a correctional officer. 484 00:28:27,471 --> 00:28:31,200 Working at Storky's means I have experience in the food service industry. 485 00:28:31,224 --> 00:28:32,369 That's it. 486 00:28:32,393 --> 00:28:34,871 And because I can remember shit and add real fast, 487 00:28:34,895 --> 00:28:38,290 I have high retention abilities and exceptional math skills. 488 00:28:38,314 --> 00:28:39,376 You're getting it. 489 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:44,130 Well, I just wanna get married to Christopher and have his babies 490 00:28:44,154 --> 00:28:46,215 and make the house look nice. 491 00:28:46,239 --> 00:28:51,995 Maybe in the sunshine, like on the beach, surrounded by, mmm, beautiful people. 492 00:28:53,163 --> 00:28:56,559 Are you at all aware that you just told an inmate in prison 493 00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:58,585 that she should become a correctional officer? 494 00:28:59,836 --> 00:29:01,063 What the fuck is wrong with you? 495 00:29:01,087 --> 00:29:02,940 I do want to be a professional athlete, 496 00:29:02,964 --> 00:29:05,044 but you just don't snap your fingers and become that. 497 00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:08,762 I was hoping to work with mentally ill children. 498 00:29:09,763 --> 00:29:13,535 I think I could offer some insight into what they might be experiencing 499 00:29:13,559 --> 00:29:15,519 and help them to heal and recover. 500 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,874 Maybe I'll Pinterest. I hear that's a thing. 501 00:29:19,898 --> 00:29:23,068 I went from wearing a habit to wearing a prison uniform. 502 00:29:24,277 --> 00:29:27,549 I don't think the fashion industry would be a viable option for me. 503 00:29:27,573 --> 00:29:30,409 I would also like to work with round objects. 504 00:29:31,952 --> 00:29:36,182 Yeah, round things are very pleasing to me. 505 00:29:36,206 --> 00:29:38,059 Maybe I can umpire women's softball. 506 00:29:38,083 --> 00:29:39,436 Then I could get laid. 507 00:29:39,460 --> 00:29:43,147 So I also can rhyme real good. What do I say about that? 508 00:29:43,171 --> 00:29:44,590 Poetic inclinations. 509 00:29:45,757 --> 00:29:46,818 Ha! 510 00:29:46,842 --> 00:29:51,363 That's what I'm talking about! See, you and me, we gonna be friends! 511 00:29:51,387 --> 00:29:54,909 Yeah, give it to me! Give it to me! Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. 512 00:29:54,933 --> 00:29:56,017 Now let's keep going. 513 00:29:57,185 --> 00:30:00,206 Vastly, what happened to your face? 514 00:30:00,230 --> 00:30:02,249 Did Ganya's people do that to you? 515 00:30:02,273 --> 00:30:05,837 No. No, Ma. Lida hit me in the face with a bag of change. 516 00:30:05,861 --> 00:30:07,088 What? 517 00:30:07,112 --> 00:30:10,257 She has this bag of quarters for the laundry sitting on the table. 518 00:30:10,281 --> 00:30:13,344 I stumbled in late a little drunk. She grabbed it, and whack. 519 00:30:13,368 --> 00:30:14,410 Good for her. 520 00:30:15,704 --> 00:30:17,348 Yeah, I appreciate your sympathy, Ma, thank you. 521 00:30:17,372 --> 00:30:20,351 I didn't raise you to come home drunk and upset your wife. 522 00:30:20,375 --> 00:30:21,436 She's not my wife. 523 00:30:21,460 --> 00:30:23,605 She's the mother of my grandson, what should I call her? 524 00:30:23,629 --> 00:30:26,065 A violent criminal who hurt your baby boy. 525 00:30:26,089 --> 00:30:28,526 - This hurts, Ma. - Why won't you marry her? 526 00:30:28,550 --> 00:30:31,112 She's a nice girl, she puts up with you. 527 00:30:31,136 --> 00:30:32,279 I have a fear of commitment. 528 00:30:32,303 --> 00:30:35,241 Okay, mamochka, why don't we talk about you for a little bit? 529 00:30:35,265 --> 00:30:39,144 Because my life is sad and small and a burden to those I love. 530 00:30:41,980 --> 00:30:44,876 Papa didn't put any money in the account this month. 531 00:30:44,900 --> 00:30:47,462 - What's going on? - Wanna know what's going on? 532 00:30:47,486 --> 00:30:49,464 Ma, the store is empty, okay? 533 00:30:49,488 --> 00:30:52,925 Everyone's afraid to go in because they know Ganya's mad at you and Pop 534 00:30:52,949 --> 00:30:54,260 for blowing the prison contract. 535 00:30:54,284 --> 00:30:56,721 I got him that contract in the first place. 536 00:30:56,745 --> 00:31:00,683 Yeah? Well, maybe you should remind him, because he doesn't remember that part. 537 00:31:00,707 --> 00:31:02,226 Why didn't Papa come? 538 00:31:02,250 --> 00:31:04,395 He's at the store all day, half the night, 539 00:31:04,419 --> 00:31:06,648 he just sits there, waiting for someone to come in. 540 00:31:06,672 --> 00:31:07,857 He's got no help, Ma. 541 00:31:07,881 --> 00:31:11,235 - So, why don't you help him? - Ma, I'm working. I got a family, too. 542 00:31:11,259 --> 00:31:14,155 Don't you think I wish I can go there and help him out some more? 543 00:31:14,179 --> 00:31:16,460 You know, maybe I should've gone to college like you said. 544 00:31:16,472 --> 00:31:20,036 - What about Yuri and Maxim? - We're all working. We're all hustling. 545 00:31:20,060 --> 00:31:23,039 We're all trying to avoid crazy women with weapons, okay? 546 00:31:23,063 --> 00:31:26,000 It's just rough times right now. I'm gonna put some things together. 547 00:31:26,024 --> 00:31:28,670 I'll get you money next week, I promise. 548 00:31:28,694 --> 00:31:29,778 Thank you. 549 00:31:30,946 --> 00:31:35,826 You're a good son. Not great, but pretty good. 550 00:31:36,827 --> 00:31:38,119 I'll take it. 551 00:31:39,538 --> 00:31:40,978 God, she already looks so different. 552 00:31:40,997 --> 00:31:43,267 - Yeah. - Hello! 553 00:31:43,291 --> 00:31:46,103 Yeah, that's right, I'm your mommy! 554 00:31:46,127 --> 00:31:51,108 And I love you so, so, so much! 555 00:31:51,132 --> 00:31:55,530 And soon we're gonna be spending lots of time together, I promise. 556 00:31:55,554 --> 00:31:59,725 Before you can even remember stuff, we're gonna be together. 557 00:32:01,017 --> 00:32:05,873 When is that? When you can remember? Like, when you're four or five, right? 558 00:32:05,897 --> 00:32:08,835 I think I remember something from when I was four. 559 00:32:08,859 --> 00:32:09,860 Don't know. 560 00:32:11,862 --> 00:32:13,655 Her head smells so good. 561 00:32:14,906 --> 00:32:16,867 And she looks like you, you know, but pretty. 562 00:32:18,744 --> 00:32:20,555 Is she a good baby? 563 00:32:20,579 --> 00:32:23,749 - Does she sleep okay? Is she eating? - Yeah. 564 00:32:25,917 --> 00:32:28,837 - It's so good talking to you. - Yeah. 565 00:32:32,507 --> 00:32:35,695 See, I ain't worried. I'm gonna rock that interview, 566 00:32:35,719 --> 00:32:37,822 then I'm gonna be the winner of the job fair 567 00:32:37,846 --> 00:32:39,991 and they gonna hook me up with a real job. 568 00:32:40,015 --> 00:32:44,787 I'm gonna be like an assistant to Judge Joe Brown or one of them TV judges. 569 00:32:44,811 --> 00:32:46,538 Or maybe even Judy. 570 00:32:46,562 --> 00:32:49,083 Yeah, man, she don't take shit from nobody! 571 00:32:49,107 --> 00:32:50,918 I know we'd vibe. 572 00:32:50,942 --> 00:32:53,087 Yo, what the fuck are you talkin' about, real job? 573 00:32:53,111 --> 00:32:55,506 Last year, the girl who did the best, 574 00:32:55,530 --> 00:32:59,426 the job fair people hooked her up with a real job once she was released. 575 00:32:59,450 --> 00:33:02,263 They don't announce it or nothing 'cause people get all crazy, 576 00:33:02,287 --> 00:33:04,015 but she told me on the low-low. 577 00:33:04,039 --> 00:33:07,769 - Wait, who won last year? - Pocano. 578 00:33:07,793 --> 00:33:10,897 - Ocampo? - The Filipino chick with the mole? 579 00:33:10,921 --> 00:33:12,023 Ocampo. 580 00:33:12,047 --> 00:33:13,733 Man, the one that worked in the woodshop. 581 00:33:13,757 --> 00:33:17,194 She won for best outfit, and she had the best résumé. 582 00:33:17,218 --> 00:33:19,196 Why didn't you tell us there was a prize? 583 00:33:19,220 --> 00:33:22,283 Man, why you think? We are the competition. 584 00:33:22,307 --> 00:33:25,452 Now we out the way, so it's just her and the little skinny Mexican 585 00:33:25,476 --> 00:33:26,636 doing the interview tomorrow. 586 00:33:26,645 --> 00:33:28,915 Man, that shit ain't right, man, you should've told us. 587 00:33:28,939 --> 00:33:32,710 But I'm a child of the system, no one ever taught me right from wrong. 588 00:33:32,734 --> 00:33:33,961 Girl, fuck you! 589 00:33:33,985 --> 00:33:37,113 Like you would've did better in your potato sack? 590 00:33:40,075 --> 00:33:43,328 Man, I got a chance here, and I'm doing it for all of us. 591 00:33:44,537 --> 00:33:48,142 Man, come on! I need y'all rootin' for me. 592 00:33:48,166 --> 00:33:50,394 We can't let Skinny Bean win. 593 00:33:50,418 --> 00:33:52,021 They already got the kitchen, 594 00:33:52,045 --> 00:33:53,690 and they got the best seats at movie night. 595 00:33:53,714 --> 00:33:54,774 - True. - True. 596 00:33:54,798 --> 00:33:56,776 Y'all gonna let them take this, too? 597 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,070 You had your shot. You had several shots. 598 00:33:59,094 --> 00:34:02,198 Now you got a change of heart? Get outta here. 599 00:34:02,222 --> 00:34:06,517 I can't stay no more in that place, and I can't start over in another home. 600 00:34:07,853 --> 00:34:10,164 Excuse me, ma'am? 601 00:34:10,188 --> 00:34:12,875 I was just walking through your store, hoping to buy some bubble wrap 602 00:34:12,899 --> 00:34:15,377 and maybe ship some chocolates to my aunt in Carolina. 603 00:34:15,401 --> 00:34:18,214 And that's about all I'm gonna sell you, is some bubble wrap, 604 00:34:18,238 --> 00:34:20,758 anything else, you've got the wrong shop. 605 00:34:20,782 --> 00:34:24,011 What you talking about? We all good. I paid you $800 last month. 606 00:34:24,035 --> 00:34:26,347 For real? You gonna make me go to the books? 607 00:34:26,371 --> 00:34:28,683 He paid you $800, right? 608 00:34:28,707 --> 00:34:33,378 What was the initial agreed-upon price for the quantity in question? 609 00:34:35,463 --> 00:34:38,609 Well, look at you, using your big words. 610 00:34:38,633 --> 00:34:41,738 $1,250. Plus, he owes me $130 from before. 611 00:34:41,762 --> 00:34:46,033 $1,250 and $130. He in the hole to you for $580, 612 00:34:46,057 --> 00:34:47,159 unless there's a vig. 613 00:34:47,183 --> 00:34:49,536 You can bet your ass there's a vig. 614 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,206 So that would bring it up to $182, 615 00:34:52,230 --> 00:34:56,127 plus $50 penalty for partial payment on the $1,250, 616 00:34:56,151 --> 00:34:59,380 now we talkin' $682. 617 00:34:59,404 --> 00:35:01,382 Fuckin' Goldberg over here. 618 00:35:01,406 --> 00:35:04,719 Come on, Vee, I got customers waitin' on me. 619 00:35:04,743 --> 00:35:07,078 You're my wholesaler. Help a brother out. 620 00:35:08,329 --> 00:35:09,414 What you think? 621 00:35:11,416 --> 00:35:13,770 I think he seem pretty desperate. 622 00:35:13,794 --> 00:35:18,107 I say give him half now and the other half when that debt drops to zero. 623 00:35:18,131 --> 00:35:19,299 This is fucked. 624 00:35:24,971 --> 00:35:26,139 Careful, now. 625 00:35:27,265 --> 00:35:29,660 He up to $1,307 now. 626 00:35:29,684 --> 00:35:31,269 You find me by week's end. 627 00:35:38,276 --> 00:35:42,464 Well, looks like adding up all them little nickels and dimes 628 00:35:42,488 --> 00:35:47,327 at Burger McFat-Ass done taught you a thing or two, huh, Taystee Girl? 629 00:35:51,622 --> 00:35:52,999 You ready to work? 630 00:35:57,921 --> 00:35:59,672 I'm gonna go check on inventory. 631 00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:39,438 - Hey. - Oh, thank God. Come in. 632 00:36:39,462 --> 00:36:41,023 - Did you bring the beer? - Coronas, right? 633 00:36:41,047 --> 00:36:43,692 No! No, no, no, dark beer. 634 00:36:43,716 --> 00:36:45,987 It's supposed to be dark beer. It helps my milk come in. 635 00:36:46,011 --> 00:36:49,514 I'm not making fucking fish tacos, Larry. I'm trying to feed my child. 636 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,410 And you brought the dark beer, thank you. 637 00:36:53,434 --> 00:36:54,745 You're welcome. 638 00:36:54,769 --> 00:36:56,687 I'm sorry, I'm going bat-shit. 639 00:36:57,939 --> 00:37:03,379 Uh, Polly, your breast is kind of... 640 00:37:03,403 --> 00:37:06,072 Please, they're always out. I'm the UPS guy's new favorite stop. 641 00:37:08,158 --> 00:37:12,703 Hey, have you talked to Piper at all? 642 00:37:13,746 --> 00:37:15,999 No, and you know that. 643 00:37:17,042 --> 00:37:19,061 And I know you broke up. 644 00:37:19,085 --> 00:37:23,565 And I know she freaked out and got sent to live in a shoe or something, 645 00:37:23,589 --> 00:37:26,861 and now she's in Chicago. She fucking hates deep-dish. 646 00:37:26,885 --> 00:37:27,928 I know! 647 00:37:29,262 --> 00:37:30,889 Well, I heard all this from her mom. 648 00:37:32,015 --> 00:37:35,702 Look, Larry, she's my friend, and I'll always take her side over yours, 649 00:37:35,726 --> 00:37:40,124 and I'll always be friends with her, and who knows how long I'll know you? 650 00:37:40,148 --> 00:37:45,504 But just between us, I think she's being an idiot and self-destructive and stupid, 651 00:37:45,528 --> 00:37:47,906 and my sympathies are with you all the way on this one. 652 00:37:49,324 --> 00:37:52,035 Well, thank you. 653 00:37:53,411 --> 00:37:55,890 For what? I never said a thing. 654 00:37:55,914 --> 00:37:58,791 I don't talk about Piper with you. That would be disloyal and wrong. 655 00:37:59,875 --> 00:38:01,395 Gotcha. 656 00:38:01,419 --> 00:38:03,088 So, when is Pete back? 657 00:38:04,255 --> 00:38:08,152 I don't know, I may not let him come back. The baby is less than three months old 658 00:38:08,176 --> 00:38:10,446 and suddenly he has to go on a vision quest in the fucking tundra? 659 00:38:10,470 --> 00:38:12,406 Well, to be fair, he said you told him to go. 660 00:38:12,430 --> 00:38:16,785 I'm a hormonal moron! I didn't mean it. I didn't think he would actually go. 661 00:38:16,809 --> 00:38:18,955 I haven't showered in three days, Larry. 662 00:38:18,979 --> 00:38:21,748 My mother is in a fucking pinochle tournament for the whole week, 663 00:38:21,772 --> 00:38:23,375 not that she's any help when she's here, 664 00:38:23,399 --> 00:38:26,837 and I don't have a goddamn baby nurse because I'm trying attachment parenting, 665 00:38:26,861 --> 00:38:28,255 and it's fucking bullshit. 666 00:38:28,279 --> 00:38:31,300 Here, take this child before I drown him in my tears and sweat. 667 00:38:31,324 --> 00:38:34,845 Hey, hey, hey, buddy, hello. 668 00:38:34,869 --> 00:38:40,351 Hello, baby, hi, it's your Uncle Larry. 669 00:38:40,375 --> 00:38:45,046 Hi, how's it going, buddy? We're gonna hang out tonight, man, yeah. 670 00:38:46,172 --> 00:38:50,069 We're gonna order some Thai food, maybe watch a little TV. How's that sound? 671 00:38:50,093 --> 00:38:51,153 Cool with that? 672 00:38:51,177 --> 00:38:53,138 I'm gonna take a shower. Can you change him? 673 00:38:55,223 --> 00:38:58,410 Yeah, I mean, sure, I can try. 674 00:38:58,434 --> 00:38:59,602 Okay. 675 00:39:03,898 --> 00:39:04,959 Mmm! 676 00:39:04,983 --> 00:39:09,213 He's all new and just happy. 677 00:39:09,237 --> 00:39:11,947 Yep, don't worry, Pete and I will fuck that right up. 678 00:39:13,783 --> 00:39:15,886 No, is that true? 679 00:39:15,910 --> 00:39:19,098 Come, now. That's not true. You stay happy, buddy, okay? 680 00:39:19,122 --> 00:39:22,875 You just... you just stay happy, all right? 681 00:39:24,169 --> 00:39:26,355 You know, I got the idea from when you was a baby. 682 00:39:26,379 --> 00:39:28,774 No one was allowed to ever give you yogurt, 683 00:39:28,798 --> 00:39:30,901 'cause you would, like, fucking explode. 684 00:39:30,925 --> 00:39:32,736 There'd be shit everywhere. 685 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:36,115 Up your back, in your hair. It was so disgusting. 686 00:39:36,139 --> 00:39:39,934 But now it's coming in handy, right? 687 00:39:41,061 --> 00:39:42,621 Right? 688 00:39:42,645 --> 00:39:43,705 Is it working? 689 00:39:43,729 --> 00:39:46,500 Could you just please give me some privacy here? 690 00:39:46,524 --> 00:39:49,503 You're making me really, really uncomfortable. 691 00:39:49,527 --> 00:39:50,837 I'm your mother. 692 00:39:50,861 --> 00:39:54,115 God, can I just shit in peace? 693 00:39:55,116 --> 00:39:56,802 Fine. 694 00:39:56,826 --> 00:40:01,015 But if you have any action, you let me know, okay? 695 00:40:01,039 --> 00:40:05,210 - I fucking care. - Fine, fine, just go. 696 00:40:16,054 --> 00:40:18,056 All right, here, stand up. 697 00:40:19,390 --> 00:40:21,392 This should fit you better around the waist now. 698 00:40:22,643 --> 00:40:26,123 Yeah, thanks for lookin' out, P. 699 00:40:26,147 --> 00:40:27,416 It's what you do for family. 700 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,086 Yeah, what, you my crazy Aunt Poussey now? 701 00:40:30,110 --> 00:40:32,379 No, I'm your sister from another mister 702 00:40:32,403 --> 00:40:36,050 about to beat your ass down if you don't read that book till you know it cold. 703 00:40:36,074 --> 00:40:39,136 You got some interview ass-kickin' to do. 704 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,370 Make me proud. 705 00:40:51,714 --> 00:40:55,009 Guess who's back and better than ever? Hey! 706 00:40:57,928 --> 00:41:02,076 I know you said to get AnyStamp, but the hobby shop was mad fun, yo! 707 00:41:02,100 --> 00:41:03,452 You ever been in there? 708 00:41:03,476 --> 00:41:07,206 Made me wanna get all crafty, get some puffy paint, 709 00:41:07,230 --> 00:41:09,541 or a rhinestone machine. 710 00:41:09,565 --> 00:41:13,420 They had a whole fucking aisle of pipe cleaners! 711 00:41:13,444 --> 00:41:14,880 Pipe cleaners! 712 00:41:14,904 --> 00:41:20,010 Man, in group home, all we got was broken crayons and dried up glue sticks. 713 00:41:20,034 --> 00:41:22,429 Are we marking scag-bags or we decorating your journal? 714 00:41:22,453 --> 00:41:24,098 I don't know, though, Vee. 715 00:41:24,122 --> 00:41:27,268 I mean, maybe you wanna consider one of these for your trademark, you know? 716 00:41:27,292 --> 00:41:29,520 Glue a pair of these on every bag, 717 00:41:29,544 --> 00:41:32,106 or call it googly smag, you know? 718 00:41:32,130 --> 00:41:33,190 Shit's all gangster! 719 00:41:33,214 --> 00:41:36,735 All right, maybe I got a little carried away, 720 00:41:36,759 --> 00:41:39,905 but look how cute this one is. 721 00:41:39,929 --> 00:41:40,989 Can I have my change, please? 722 00:41:41,013 --> 00:41:43,492 I did not send you to the store with a C-note to bring back googly eyes. 723 00:41:43,516 --> 00:41:44,559 Okay. 724 00:41:45,601 --> 00:41:46,745 But for serious, 725 00:41:46,769 --> 00:41:48,830 like, why couldn't you use something different for a stamp? 726 00:41:48,854 --> 00:41:51,917 Like Mr. Owl here? 727 00:41:51,941 --> 00:41:53,084 People do this shit, right? 728 00:41:53,108 --> 00:41:56,297 Like, there's dope with all sorts of crazy shit on it. 729 00:41:56,321 --> 00:41:58,048 It's not about what you put on the package, 730 00:41:58,072 --> 00:42:00,342 it's about the quality of your product. 731 00:42:00,366 --> 00:42:02,553 I don't know, though, she kind of right. 732 00:42:02,577 --> 00:42:04,805 You pick something weird, 733 00:42:04,829 --> 00:42:07,039 people gonna remember that shit for sure. 734 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,459 That owl looks drunk. 735 00:42:10,626 --> 00:42:11,978 I like the horse and the bicycle. 736 00:42:12,002 --> 00:42:14,565 Okay, say we use the horse. 737 00:42:14,589 --> 00:42:18,444 Call our shit Horsey Horse, get it? 738 00:42:18,468 --> 00:42:21,613 Because heroin's called horse. Yo, that's money! 739 00:42:21,637 --> 00:42:23,824 I'm telling you, people be like, "Ooh, 740 00:42:23,848 --> 00:42:27,328 "I need me some more of that Horsey Horse. This shit was so good!" 741 00:42:27,352 --> 00:42:29,788 Before you know it, you've got a call brand. 742 00:42:29,812 --> 00:42:32,541 Listen to her trying to teach me how to deal. 743 00:42:32,565 --> 00:42:35,043 Y'all laughing now, but I'm telling you, 744 00:42:35,067 --> 00:42:37,254 come visit me one day when I'm on Wall Street 745 00:42:37,278 --> 00:42:39,381 and having some white boy get me lunch, 746 00:42:39,405 --> 00:42:42,133 and I'm wheelin' a big old deal, and he talking about, 747 00:42:42,157 --> 00:42:44,845 "Ms. Jefferson, you have a call on line two." 748 00:42:44,869 --> 00:42:46,430 Think you've been watching too many movies. 749 00:42:46,454 --> 00:42:50,476 I'm just saying, yo, this is not my forever career. 750 00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:51,560 Girl, you from this hood, 751 00:42:51,584 --> 00:42:53,562 you don't get a career, you get a job. 752 00:42:53,586 --> 00:42:55,772 This right here is the best-paying job around. 753 00:42:55,796 --> 00:42:56,857 Preach it, Vee. 754 00:42:56,881 --> 00:42:59,776 - You know what people respect? Money. - Hmm. 755 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,779 You keep working for me, that's exactly what you gonna have. 756 00:43:02,803 --> 00:43:04,883 Ain't that right, RJ? Don't I take care of my people? 757 00:43:04,889 --> 00:43:06,140 - Yes, ma'am. - Eh, whatever. 758 00:43:07,308 --> 00:43:10,436 Look here, taste this, girl. Tell me if it needs some more salt. 759 00:43:14,607 --> 00:43:17,878 - Mmm! That is good. - I know. 760 00:43:17,902 --> 00:43:20,381 - What's that, pumpkin? - Butternut squash and ginger, 761 00:43:20,405 --> 00:43:21,757 - and I threw in some leeks, just 'cause. - Mmm! 762 00:43:21,781 --> 00:43:25,344 All right, now, listen, RJ, clear off that table, grab this salad. 763 00:43:25,368 --> 00:43:28,555 - Is anybody else coming home for dinner? - Uh, think it's just us. 764 00:43:28,579 --> 00:43:31,916 All right, grab some bowls, please. 765 00:43:33,751 --> 00:43:36,397 Oh, yes, ooh, this smells good. 766 00:43:36,421 --> 00:43:39,549 Get the placemats. All right. 767 00:43:41,008 --> 00:43:43,028 "Horsey Horse". 768 00:43:43,052 --> 00:43:46,221 That's kind of fun. But, Lord, have mercy, it's silly, just like you. 769 00:43:47,390 --> 00:43:49,868 I tried a new bread tonight, y'all. 770 00:43:49,892 --> 00:43:53,830 It's a whole grain flaxseed bread. 771 00:43:53,854 --> 00:43:55,499 Y'all need some more fiber in your diet. 772 00:43:55,523 --> 00:43:57,668 Grab a knife for this bread, too, Taste. 773 00:43:57,692 --> 00:44:00,194 Bring the bowls, girl. What you waiting for? 774 00:44:13,749 --> 00:44:14,792 Hey, Red. 775 00:44:16,085 --> 00:44:20,756 These are great seats, you can really see the stage from here. 776 00:44:22,049 --> 00:44:23,819 You really don't need to do this. 777 00:44:23,843 --> 00:44:27,489 I mean, I appreciate the gesture and everything, but... 778 00:44:27,513 --> 00:44:32,369 But what? We'll be ostracized? Already no one notices us. 779 00:44:32,393 --> 00:44:36,873 We're old and invisible, so why not be old together? 780 00:44:36,897 --> 00:44:38,649 We keep each other company. 781 00:44:39,859 --> 00:44:41,670 You calling me old? 782 00:44:41,694 --> 00:44:43,339 I'm 23. 783 00:44:43,363 --> 00:44:47,301 How about matured? Like a big, branchy tree. 784 00:44:47,325 --> 00:44:50,762 With snow-white roots. 785 00:44:50,786 --> 00:44:54,641 Oh, shit. I gotta deal with that, huh? 786 00:44:54,665 --> 00:44:57,543 Or just let it go. Fuck it. 787 00:44:58,753 --> 00:45:01,005 Who we trying to impress? 788 00:45:05,468 --> 00:45:07,261 She looks rough for 23. 789 00:45:25,154 --> 00:45:26,757 Where we going? 790 00:45:26,781 --> 00:45:28,032 We're going to town. 791 00:45:29,283 --> 00:45:30,511 Really? 792 00:45:30,535 --> 00:45:33,304 Medical center. She's going to the oral surgeon. 793 00:45:33,328 --> 00:45:35,015 Hope you got lots of those magazines, 794 00:45:35,039 --> 00:45:38,852 'cause it's gonna be hours and hours and hours. 795 00:45:38,876 --> 00:45:40,521 Oh, I got plenty. 796 00:45:40,545 --> 00:45:43,423 And I got my radio shows. I'll be fine. 797 00:45:44,715 --> 00:45:46,860 Good for you, Doggett. 798 00:45:46,884 --> 00:45:50,054 - Congratu-fucking-lations. - Thank you. 799 00:45:51,388 --> 00:45:52,699 That's right, 800 00:45:52,723 --> 00:45:55,083 we at the Philip Morris Companies believe in second chances. 801 00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:57,788 We welcome people who can handle the challenges 802 00:45:57,812 --> 00:46:00,832 of manufacturing and marketing products meant for adults 803 00:46:00,856 --> 00:46:04,252 in a highly regulated and restricted environment 804 00:46:04,276 --> 00:46:09,490 while striving each day to operate responsibly. Thank you. 805 00:46:12,618 --> 00:46:15,639 Man, I thought special guests meant like Mo'Nique 806 00:46:15,663 --> 00:46:17,223 or Wesley Snipes or somethin.' 807 00:46:17,247 --> 00:46:19,851 Not some cigarette-hawkin' fuck-nut reminding us 808 00:46:19,875 --> 00:46:21,352 that the only people who want to hire felons 809 00:46:21,376 --> 00:46:23,229 are already hated by everybody else. 810 00:46:23,253 --> 00:46:24,898 Nah, see, they ain't so bad. 811 00:46:24,922 --> 00:46:27,818 See, people can decide for theyselves if they wanna smoke. 812 00:46:27,842 --> 00:46:31,905 The real evil are them companies killin' us without consent. 813 00:46:31,929 --> 00:46:37,953 Monsanto. Rio Tinto. Big Pharma, BP, Halliburton. 814 00:46:37,977 --> 00:46:41,498 I been readin' there's some dark shit goin' down. 815 00:46:41,522 --> 00:46:43,959 Not that any of 'em motherfuckers ever wanna hire us. 816 00:46:43,983 --> 00:46:48,112 But the real criminals, they don't bother with us small-timers. 817 00:46:49,947 --> 00:46:54,928 And now Mr. Slovin will "interview" two "prospective employees". 818 00:46:54,952 --> 00:47:00,625 Many lessons to be learned here, ladies. Please pay close attention. 819 00:47:09,216 --> 00:47:12,488 Hello, and thank you for coming in today. 820 00:47:12,512 --> 00:47:14,865 Well, hello to you, too. 821 00:47:14,889 --> 00:47:18,994 Hello, and thank you so much for taking the time to see me today. 822 00:47:19,018 --> 00:47:20,978 The best boss I ever had? 823 00:47:22,104 --> 00:47:25,667 I would have to say Gloria in the kitchen right here 824 00:47:25,691 --> 00:47:31,214 because she's really organized, and she plays real good music. 825 00:47:31,238 --> 00:47:34,801 My greatest strength, I'd have to say, is my positive attitude, 826 00:47:34,825 --> 00:47:38,597 and my aptitude for rote memorization. 827 00:47:38,621 --> 00:47:40,641 I see something once, and I got it down. 828 00:47:40,665 --> 00:47:44,561 I use my time very efficiently. I'm almost never late. 829 00:47:44,585 --> 00:47:46,479 She was late today. 830 00:47:46,503 --> 00:47:49,482 For example, in my old job, a long-term client 831 00:47:49,506 --> 00:47:51,484 was about to take his business to a competitor. 832 00:47:51,508 --> 00:47:55,656 I was able to meet with the customer and change the way we handled his account 833 00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,742 on a day-to-day basis in order to keep the business. 834 00:47:58,766 --> 00:48:01,745 I think it's important to have close, 835 00:48:01,769 --> 00:48:05,541 intimate relationships with your co-workers. 836 00:48:05,565 --> 00:48:08,275 It's good for morale, you know? 837 00:48:10,194 --> 00:48:12,380 Okay, that's, like, a foul. 838 00:48:12,404 --> 00:48:15,967 It was lovely meeting both of you, thank you. 839 00:48:15,991 --> 00:48:20,013 Thank you, Mr. Slovin, and may I say what a privilege it would be 840 00:48:20,037 --> 00:48:22,182 to work for the Philip Morris Corporation, 841 00:48:22,206 --> 00:48:25,561 a company that has remained the largest cigarette manufacturer 842 00:48:25,585 --> 00:48:28,063 in the US since 1983, 843 00:48:28,087 --> 00:48:32,442 plus has increased its dividends 46 times in the last 44 years. 844 00:48:32,466 --> 00:48:35,403 You all tore this market up in the face of a world 845 00:48:35,427 --> 00:48:37,823 that was trying to tear you down. 846 00:48:37,847 --> 00:48:39,866 Now, see, that's the company for me. 847 00:48:39,890 --> 00:48:42,953 - Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah, Taystee! 848 00:48:42,977 --> 00:48:44,871 Thank you, Miss Jefferson. 849 00:48:44,895 --> 00:48:48,499 Yeah, yes, let's hear a round of applause for Miss Jefferson, 850 00:48:48,523 --> 00:48:50,109 and Miss Gonzales. 851 00:48:51,110 --> 00:48:54,989 Taystee! Taystee! Taystee! 852 00:49:15,467 --> 00:49:17,762 They gonna need that picture, boo. 853 00:49:18,929 --> 00:49:21,015 I'm afraid to see him lying there. 854 00:49:22,349 --> 00:49:25,019 I think once you see him, you won't be scared. 855 00:49:26,020 --> 00:49:29,857 He's still our RJ. He's just not in that body anymore. 856 00:49:30,941 --> 00:49:35,780 But it's like, once the funeral is over, he's really gone, you know? 857 00:49:37,657 --> 00:49:38,783 Yeah. 858 00:49:41,243 --> 00:49:42,745 I raised that boy. 859 00:49:44,163 --> 00:49:49,770 Watched that smile go from snaggletooth to lady-killer. 860 00:49:49,794 --> 00:49:53,857 I swear he could charm the fish out of water. 861 00:49:53,881 --> 00:49:56,526 Man, how can they get away with this? 862 00:49:56,550 --> 00:49:58,302 Ain't nobody gonna do nothing? 863 00:50:00,637 --> 00:50:03,616 Cops claim he was armed. 864 00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,119 I don't know, maybe he was. I... 865 00:50:06,143 --> 00:50:09,915 I told him to not carry a piece. 866 00:50:09,939 --> 00:50:13,067 A black man walking around this city at night... 867 00:50:15,569 --> 00:50:19,073 We had plans to go to the Statue of Liberty together. 868 00:50:20,115 --> 00:50:22,868 Neither of us ever been. 869 00:50:23,869 --> 00:50:28,141 We had reservations to walk up into the head and everything. 870 00:50:28,165 --> 00:50:30,710 So stupid. 871 00:50:34,671 --> 00:50:36,817 I'll take you. 872 00:50:36,841 --> 00:50:38,819 I got you now, Taystee Girl. 873 00:50:38,843 --> 00:50:40,845 You can't promise that. 874 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,265 I protect my babies. 875 00:50:46,683 --> 00:50:48,393 This one got away, 876 00:50:50,312 --> 00:50:55,150 but I swear to you, I will die before I see that happen again. 877 00:50:56,485 --> 00:50:59,196 I will keep you safe. 878 00:51:23,888 --> 00:51:25,430 Come on, come. 879 00:51:26,932 --> 00:51:28,851 Come on, I've got you. 880 00:51:35,107 --> 00:51:37,210 - Well? - How'd it go in there? 881 00:51:37,234 --> 00:51:40,671 - Victory. - Yeah! That's my girl! 882 00:51:40,695 --> 00:51:43,133 Good for you, you must feel so much better. 883 00:51:43,157 --> 00:51:45,886 - I just feel free. - It was the yogurt, right? A mother knows. 884 00:51:45,910 --> 00:51:48,930 The drink that I gave you has helped women in my family dookie 885 00:51:48,954 --> 00:51:50,306 for 14 generations. 886 00:51:50,330 --> 00:51:52,450 You know, I think it was a combination of both things. 887 00:51:52,457 --> 00:51:56,003 Whatever it was, it don't matter. I am so happy, you guys. 888 00:51:58,505 --> 00:52:00,566 Hey, what's going on here? 889 00:52:00,590 --> 00:52:02,693 - Daya finally shit! - A big one. 890 00:52:02,717 --> 00:52:04,570 She feels so much better now. 891 00:52:04,594 --> 00:52:08,765 My God! I can't believe you guys! I've never been so humiliated. Jesus! 892 00:52:11,852 --> 00:52:13,163 Well, go on. 893 00:52:13,187 --> 00:52:16,023 Go after her. Tell her it's gonna be okay. 894 00:52:17,399 --> 00:52:18,483 Okay. 895 00:52:23,363 --> 00:52:24,715 We embarrassed her. 896 00:52:24,739 --> 00:52:27,034 Whatever, happens, mothers embarrass their kids. 897 00:52:28,452 --> 00:52:29,554 Yeah. 898 00:52:29,578 --> 00:52:33,123 Hey, where the fuck did you get the yogurt? 899 00:52:34,917 --> 00:52:37,502 So, Mr. Slovin, who gets the job? 900 00:52:39,796 --> 00:52:41,215 Miss Tasha Jefferson. 901 00:52:49,598 --> 00:52:52,785 That's right! In your face, Skinny Bean! 902 00:52:52,809 --> 00:52:55,330 Whatever, it don't even mean nothing. 903 00:52:55,354 --> 00:52:57,082 I don't even smoke. 904 00:52:57,106 --> 00:52:59,000 Taystee! 905 00:52:59,024 --> 00:53:02,087 Okay, and that concludes job fair. 906 00:53:02,111 --> 00:53:04,446 Thank you, everyone. Thank you. 907 00:53:08,408 --> 00:53:11,762 Hey, so, how do I get a hold of someone about that job? 908 00:53:11,786 --> 00:53:12,848 Excuse me? 909 00:53:12,872 --> 00:53:15,725 A job. I heard you get hooked up with one if you win this thing. 910 00:53:15,749 --> 00:53:17,626 Winning is a victory in itself. 911 00:53:19,169 --> 00:53:22,565 But last year, Ocampo got set up with some receptionist gig. 912 00:53:22,589 --> 00:53:25,026 That's simply untrue. This isn't a contest. 913 00:53:25,050 --> 00:53:27,653 You do your best because that's what you're supposed to do. 914 00:53:27,677 --> 00:53:30,073 Why is it so hard for you people to understand? 915 00:53:30,097 --> 00:53:33,910 You're like babies. "Where's my present?" "Pay attention to me." 916 00:53:33,934 --> 00:53:36,371 "Give me things." "Fix the heat." "Build a gym." 917 00:53:36,395 --> 00:53:39,814 I'm not your goddamn mommy. Grow up! 918 00:53:45,362 --> 00:53:50,093 In acknowledgment of your hard work and success, 919 00:53:50,117 --> 00:53:54,222 an award of $10 will be added to your commissary fund. Enjoy. 920 00:53:54,246 --> 00:53:55,723 Yeah, that's something. 921 00:53:55,747 --> 00:53:58,250 That is something. Thank you, Miss Figueroa. 922 00:54:07,009 --> 00:54:08,218 Oh, shit.