Tell us who you would like to make out with at the table.
Whoa!
Yes!
Jess, jess, jess!
Woo!
I could show him a thing or two.
Co-primaries, jeremy morton and ronnie weiss.
They would like to invite me to dinner.
Ronnie will be celebrating his 75th birthday
with an '80s dance and fitness party.
Hello!
This is not the group that you would think you'd see together.
Here's to the staff of the my seanna.
Woo!
Jess is just, like, moping around as if,
like, she's pure misery.
How was your night last night?
I'm old. You're not old.
I'm feeling it, though.
It's cushions, cushions, cushions.
[bleep]
the deck team needs more time to get everything secured.
They had plenty of time.
They were standing up here for 15 minutes, pulling the anchor.
If eddie doesn't drop the hammer on them,
I'm gonna drop it on him.
I'm just so ----ing frustrated with getting yelled at.
That's ----ing bullsh--.
So, from now on, whenever we get underway,
I want everything secured.
The wind here is just too ----ing strong.
I'm sick of it all.
From now on, we do not give captain lee
the go-ahead until everything is secured,
meaning fenders, cushions, everything.
I want things covered, I want this never to happen again.
-Yes, copy. -Okay.
-Great. -Yeah, agreed.
I need the deck team to step it up,
so that I can start focusing on my job as first officer,
and my education in the wheelhouse.
They need to get their sh-- together.
I don't want another ----ing thing
falling off this boat, copy?
-Copy. -Yes, copy.
Great.
The whole thing is just unreal.
Mm, best thing I've ever ate in my life.
Oh.
Okay, let's do it.
Whew, chile.
I hate this pair of pants.
-Yeah. -They are?
Are we going somewhere?
To do some fun water sports later, yeah.
Very cool.
[phone ringing]
craft services.
This is heather from motor yacht seanna.
We've got an '80s birthday party, so I'm looking
to get some neon décor, and some balloons,
the numbers seven and five.
Thank you so much, paige, I appreciate it.
Oh, this ain't bad.
Watch how it gets folded out as we unfold this thing,
because that's how it's gonna go back.
Tonight is '80s night.
Oh, I'm gonna do the vacuum cleaner.
Oh, are you holding the cord?
We'll go and do the jet-skis,
and we'll leave rayna to pump this up.
Just hit it to the end of the line.
Maybe we'll tie it on now, in case it blows away.
Okie-dokie.
-Good morning. -Morning.
Cheffy. How you doing, sweetie?
-Good, how are you doing? -I'm fine.
Tonight should be a blast,
'80s theme party for ronnie's 75th birthday.
I know, you don't have to dress up.
I mean, I did 'em once, that was plenty.
Yeah.
That's when I met mary anne, mid-'80s.
Changed my life.
That's what I was doing in the '80s...
Changing my life and trying to look cool,
but it didn't work out so well.
I gotta go downstairs and burn stuff, so I will see you later.
All right, sweetie, thank you so much.
-Have a wonderful day. -Everything else going good?
Yeah, I think so.
How is my girl jess doing?
Her grandma had to get a procedure done,
so it seemed like something at home was weighing on her mind.
Her spirits just always seem down.
With jessica, I can notice the difference
from day one being on the boat to right now.
I love doing laundry, I really do.
I haven't heard someone say that in years.
Oh [bleep] my life.
Yeah, definitely just wanna lift her spirits.
I understand what jess has got going on with her grandparents,
but at some point she kinda needs to leave that stuff
in her cabin and show up to do the job she's here to do.
I'll pop by once we get more of an idea
of what the day looks like.
I'll be here.
-Just watch it from... -I will.
...Where you swing it forward.
All right.
-Nice, good. -Now I'm gonna luff up.
Okay, winching down.
Who wants to do water sports?
I do!
All right, I'm gonna do the quesadilla,
and then after that I'm gonna knock into
the chicken, beef, and then...
Cool, I'm gonna start cutting jalapenos and limes.
Everybody wants a mexican lunch.
I spent a lot of time in la paz, mexico and san diego.
Mexican is just right up my alley...
Spices, fresh herbs.
Mexican food's great coming in,
but it's interesting coming out.
Thank you for calling motor yacht seanna.
This is satan speaking, how may I direct your call?
All right, you guys are all good.
-Whoa! -Oh!
Have fun, man, go for it.
[chattering]
I know.
This is probably the best day of his life.
Woo!
I'll give it a wipe-down.
Look at how bad that looks.
I hope I don't hold anyone's hand any time soon.
My hands do as well. Stunning, isn't it?
How are there not suitors knocking at my door?
Are you missing your partner?
Our relationship has always been based
around yachting as the priority.
Of course I miss him,
but it's something that we're definitely used to.
Sure, I've discovered that's what it is, babe.
I'm craving male attention.
Are you ready for that?
I wasn't for about three years, but now I am.
My first relationship lasted for about two and a half years,
and that was the love of my life.
He was 10 years older than me,
and we were going through very different stages
in our lives, so it had to end.
It absolutely shattered me.
Consequently, I'm not prone to opening myself up,
but I guess if I keep going with this approach,
I'm going to shrivel up and be single for the rest of my life.
So, I feel like I'm ready to get back into it
and explore what's out there.
You're ready to be swept off your feet?
Yeah, I really am.
I'm ready to give my all, you know?
Got the quesas ready to roll.
Ready when you are.
Come sit next to your mommy, dreamboat.
Should I serve those with a spoon?
Yes, please.
These are your taco trays.
I've got tortillas down here at the end.
These are queso fundidos.
Stop it, girl!
We're just gonna keep bringing everything up.
Did I hear something about a lobster quesadilla?
They're coming.
Ronnie, it's your birthday.
How old are you, tell me the truth.
Eighty-one.
-Oh, god. -Wow.
-Please, I hope not. -Alexander!
This chef, she is a freak of nature, this woman.
If this girl wanted to start a restaurant,
it would be a huge success.
This might be the best lunch I ever had.
Mm!
These are not jalapenos, are they?
[bleep] me, I have no idea what that is.
These are rotten.
-Heather, heather, eddie. -Go ahead.
We have a provision boat here.
Copy, I'm on my way.
Straight inside, yeah?
Oh, yeah.
This is very nice.
I'm so looking forward to this '80s party.
Where was I in the '80s?
Man, I was in the womb.
Do I know much about it? Hell, no.
Can I channel it? Hell, yeah.
Please tell me these are leggings.
Anything neon, a little skin.
Jane fonda, let's go.
Oh, god, these titties would not fit in here.
At what point is captain lee gonna say we're too naked?
Oh, my god, you did it again.
It's like, this is the best meal ever.
Ever.
What time would you like to have dinner this evening?
-7:30. -Yes, fine.
-How you doing? -Hungry.
Did you miss lunch?
Yeah, I didn't really eat as much.
Oh.
Thank you.
All right.
I think wes and jess should definitely hook up.
I think tomorrow we should make them sit
on their own separate table when we go have dinner.
Wes has definitely got no game whatsoever.
Let's see where I got all the snacks...
Yay.
But I'll try and help him out,
because if he waits any longer,
he's gonna be going home with his nuts full.
So I said to him,
"look, mate, I'm gonna make sure you sit next to her at dinner."
nice.
They wait too long for something to happen.
I don't think I've ever asked you if you're single.
I sure am. Sure, sure am.
Hm.
-Lobster quesadilla. -Oh, my god, no way.
Oh, you just took a sh-- or you actually dropped them off?
No, I took a massive sh--.
-Okay, good. -Is that a real saying?
Yeah, you've never heard that before?
No.
I've just got bowel problems.
He... You...
He sh-- on his girlfriend, though, before.
No, I didn't sh-- on her.
-You... -I was...
So, basically, I got out the shower and I thought
it would be funny to start, like, twerking on the bed.
So, I was naked on the bed, and I thought it would be funny
to push out a ----ing really loud fart.
Oh!
And a ----ing sh-- flew out and flew through the air.
No ----ing way.
Yeah, and poo just went bewww across the bedroom.
Oh, well sh-- happens.
Literally.
-Oh! -Oh!
-Whoa! -Oh, my god!
Jesus!
-Through the lines! -Goddamn it!
Oh, well sh-- happens.
Literally.
Whoa!
Oh!
-Jesus! -Oh, my god!
Whoa!
What the [bleep]?
-I need someone with me! -I'm coming!
-What happened? -The trampoline blew away.
Oh sh-- that's so cool, somebody get a video of that.
It was cool, though.
It was cool.
-It snapped? -Yes, it snapped.
This was on the trampoline.
"baywatch" in action, you got the hasselhoff.
Who's the hoff? I'm the hoff.
Or the rock... A skinnier version of the rock.
The pebble. They call me pebble.
That thing launched with violence.
Yeah...
Jesus, that was so bad.
-Eddie. -Yes, sir?
Get a pump on it and suck it out.
Copy that.
Hey, we're lucky there was no one on that thing.
In 35 years, I've never seen wind with such
intensity for an extended period of time like it is.
Mother nature giving your ass a wake-up call.
Won't make that mistake again.
Chef rachel, you have a visitor.
-Hello, sweetheart. -Everybody loves the food.
Oh, thank you!
Everybody says it's the best food they've ever had.
For dinner tonight, they're gonna be having oysters,
shrimp, escargot, and all of that crazy adult stuff.
Do you wanna do your favorite chicken fingers again?
Yes!
Okay, we got it.
It's kinda similar.
Boom.
Sam, can I get you a drink, please?
I'll do, like, a shirley temple.
One shirley temple, coming up.
-Yeah, yeah. -Pull the first one up.
-Yeah. -[grunting]
-okay, I'll see you at 5:30. -Okay.
Good lord.
-Mom? -What?
Dad in there, too.
You look like the joker, ronnie.
What? What... What?
Perfect timing.
-Here you go, sir. -Thank you.
My pleasure.
You're in my department, I just can't...
I mean, don't take it... Listen...
I put that... I put that... I...
I put that aside as soon as we got on.
That's not happening, though.
No, you're...
So it was not supposed to be included in that.
That's real shot.
You're definitely gonna wear this.
Excellent.
I have leggings for you.
I'm wearing leggings now? Wow.
But your t-shirt should be long enough
just to cover your tiddly-niddlies.
-Okay. -Yeah, baby.
I'm gonna jump in the shower.
Oy, I don't wanna leave tomorrow.
Great crew, captain's hot.
For tonight's '80s theme, that is definitely '80s steakhouse.
Bone-in ribeye, lobster.
Not today, satan.
King crab, snow crab, ronnie's birthday cake,
and some camel-toe with the sweatpants.
What the [bleep]?
I love the ----ing '80s.
Oh [bleep], eat my [bleep].
Attention all crew, make sure you're in your blacks by 6:00.
Heh... "copy."
jesus.
Keep trying.
Or find something else to wear, I'm okay with that option too.
Peg your collar.
I kinda left my room in a hurry.
Oh, is it time to get into blacks?
Yeah.
How is that... How does it...
-It goes up my ass. -Jake, wow.
He looks like a figure-skater.
Can you grab another barbeque sauce out of the...
Or an exotic dancer.
You don't need to be dressed till 9:00.
You know, he's just so effortlessly chic.
Rayna, you want us to help you pick something out?
Nope, I got it, thank you.
Engineering, engineering, galley.
Just to let you guys know, I will be doing
a white pan method, so it'll create a lot of smoke
in the galley within two minutes.
[coughing]
rayna, did you choose something?
No, I have not.
I will, in due time.
I'm just trying to see if you're excited, that's all.
Just wanna make sure you've got something.
No, I... I got you, I'll have something.
I love those glasses.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Yeah, I am...
19 years older than you. How old are you?
That's... That's a good one.
Seventy-five!
Toddy, zip it up.
-One last blow. -Oh, yeah.
Get that five!
Do you wanna see if the deck crew can get that?
Deck crew, deck crew, interior.
We just had a number five take off.
Okay... Jess, can you call deck crew?
I already did, love.
Just be careful, boo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so deck crew for this, I mean, not for the...
I did not see that.
Deck crew, deck crew, we also have some glass.
What happened?
We won't be able to get that balloon back.
-No. -Cool.
Eddie, if we could use one of your helps
just to put the plates on the table at 8:00?
Oh, copy that.
You could get started in the queen room.
Eddie and the team are right here.
We're gonna help you get things on these big plates.
-Is there food at the table? -No.
We're just sitting.
I mean, it's just about 8:00, so.
We're just excited to sit.
If you've got deck crew helping, can I finish that quickly?
-Yeah. -Let me know if you need me.
And then we're gonna go ahead and pour
the melted butter into the containers.
Cheers, thank you.
That's awesome, thank you, guys.
Stay right here, I'm gonna put the tongs on it.
Ooh, ooh, go slow.
I just wanna know where they got the '90s theme from.
'80s.
They must have just saw a picture of you.
-Dear, what is that? -Whoagee, wow!
-Jesus christ. -Whoagee to the next level!
Oh, my whoagee.
We're placing it all in the middle so you can get
a great photo, and then we're gonna take it around the table,
family-style, so we'll offer you everything.
Look at that!
So we're gonna just keep--
you really got it going on.
-Good evening. -Good evening!
Tender is the lobster.
Happy birthday, sir.
Thank you, lee!
-Captain. -Captain lee!
No, he didn't.
He's so busy with this lobster.
It's his birthday, he's allowed to do
whatever the hell he feels like doing
-you better believe it. -That's right.
I like that sentiment.
Potatoes are ready to go.
Could I offer you a fresh dinner roll?
-Wow. -Potatoes.
I'm gonna grab some serving utensils.
Wow.
It's heather's job to know where her tongs are at, period.
As a deckhand, I'm helping you.
I work outside, boo.
Fraser, fraser, heather.
Could I get you to come up and assist with service?
Copy that, coming now.
Oh, I smell the truffle.
Somebody take a picture of this gorgeous mushroom.
This is one gorgeous mushroom, right here.
I've got these tongs.
Like, there's no point to set it on the table
if we can't serve it.
Just leave it on the bar, leave it on the bar.
What, do you want me to just grab it with my bare hands?
This just isn't what five-star service is,
and I shouldn't have to explain that.
Oh, my god, is that a cowboy steak?
Coming up...
So, I just wanna stage you right here.
I guess this is what being a first officer is all about.
I'm wearing leggings and a tank top
that belongs to an 11-year-old girl.
Happy birthday!
I've got these tongs.
Yeahe, we have only one...
There's no point to set it on the table if we can't serve it.
Just leave it on the bar, leave it on the bar.
I hate the way that this is going.
I'm just not thrilled that nobody
had the initiative to come up with a solution.
Jess, could I get you to come up and water the table, please?
Copy.
If I say bring service ware up, they'll say there is none.
Go find some.
Here is your bone-in ribeye,
marinated with a little bit of cognac,
a peppercorn rub, along with a maldon salt.
-It's amazing. -Can I get a picture of that?
Oh, yeah, I'll get one for us.
It's seriously the sickest thing you ever saw.
Would you like a piece of steak?
It's your birthday!
[coughing]
I just almost choked to death,
and you just were going about your lobster.
It was just a cluster[bleep].
Oh, my god, that's like fred flintstone.
-Oh, my god. Go! -That's right, eat it.
-Get into it! -He's a caveman.
Does that just look like the worst service on my part
in front of captain lee and everyone else?
There's nothing like the meat off the bone.
It's the best meal.
I agree with you.
Everyone's got food, that's all that matters.
We need to rent the boat for, like, a month.
-Rent what boat? -This one.
Oh.
All crew, if you guys wanna get into your '80s attire
so we can sing "happy birthday."
ooh, '80s attire!
Obviously.
I'm probably done. I had two and a half pieces.
-Done, done? -Yeah.
Rachel, rachel, heather, I'm clearing the table.
What, the pants underneath?
[laughing]
it's in there, isn't it?
Can someone confirm with me that rachel
knows I am clearing the table?
Who's got the budweisers?
Exactly!
Someone on the radio, anyone on the radio?
Oh, you look like freddie mercury.
I think you look good.
Oh, we all look so cool.
Did somebody come communicate with you?
-No, why? -No one?
No.
Oh, my ----ing god, I've called three times,
can someone confirm that rachel knows
I've been clearing the table.
Don't come up, I don't want them to see anyone
until we have the cake.
Right. Do we just...
Do you want us to help with...
No, she doesn't want anybody to come up there.
So, why are we being summoned, then?
-I have no idea. -What's...
What's she ----ing asking about, then?
I'm gonna take 'em into the ring,
and I'm gonna break 'em over my knee!
Oh, yeah, brother!
You wanna change, and then we can stand by on this?
Yeah.
Guys, can we line up in the hallway?
All right, let's do it.
All right, two seconds.
-How old are you? -I'm 25.
He's just short.
Happy birthday, happy ----ing birthday, happy birthday
oh, my god, that's awesome.
Easy does it, there are kids in the house.
My dad had a great voice, he was...
-Wow, well, so do you. -Yeah.
♪ happy birthday to you ♪
woo!
It's your birthday, hey!
Woo-hoo!
I guess this is what being a first officer is all about.
One, two, three...
Yeah!
I'm wearing leggings and a tank top
that belongs to a 11-year-old girl.
What a luxurious promotion this is.
That was amazing.
I mean, you can't get better than that.
Can I just tell you this... Best carrot cake of my life.
Wow, chef rachel, amazing.
Chef rachel.
I had so many bests on this trip.
This is my best wig I've ever had.
-It is looking pretty good. -It is.
Rayna, are you done?
A quarter to 6:00, you just help with the gym stuff.
Yeah.
Well, thank you guys for dinner.
-Oh, my god, thank you! -Thank you for joining us.
Charter three dinner service is done.
Yes!
Ugh!
Good night.
I think I'll go to bed.
Jess, go down for the night.
Yes, ma'am.
You'll be on the floor by 6:00 a.M.
Oh, my god.
----Ing hell.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, no, I hear you.
So grateful for the deck team's help, but it was like,
don't bring me food...
When is she gonna find out when she's the one
who ----ed everything up?
Is this a normal habit for your ass?
You did kind of snap on me for something that's your job,
do you get what I'm saying?
-Oh. -I'm done.
I've got my whole baked potato bakin' in these bad boys.
Go let some steam outta that thing
or you're gonna make some mash.
[snoring]
sorry I've been short, it's just been crazy.
No, I get it.
Yeah.
I really wanna get to the bottom of this issue with jess.
This isn't a test.
Either you wanna be here, or you don't.
Now it's affecting my whole team,
because it's adding more to your plate,
which then adds more to my plate.
If you have one bad apple,
it's only a matter of time till it rots the whole tree.
Coming up...
Jake coming on a little strong.
The 'stache looks prettier and prettier every day.
Fluff your hair.
-Hello. -It's laying too flat.
[laughing]
[alarm sounds, yawning]
oh, my ----ing neck.
Ruh-roh.
Oh, I miss you.
Ugh, I don't wanna go to work today.
Yachting and relationships are like oil and water.
How can you be in a relationship with someone
if you're never there?
But I like to feel the feeling of knowing that,
like, someone genuinely wants to talk to you.
I shouldn't be tired like this, but I don't know.
Honestly...
I'm not trying to rush into anything right now,
but I still reach out for that,
like, attention, if that makes sense, yeah.
I can't believe I just ----ing admitted that.
All right, papi.
Yeah, papi, I'll text you.
Bye.
Are you hurting today?
Oh, my god, everything hurts.
I am the body ache.
Google image that sh--. My face will come up.
Body aches, see "rachel."
bitter and jaded, see "rachel."
impatient, grumpy, and short, see "eddie."
oh, don't talk to me, nobody, till I have my coffee!
I got the plate right behind you.
Come on, buddy, come sit next to me.
She does everything so cute.
Fresh, warm, whole blueberries.
We've got a lobster benedict with hollandaise.
-Wow. -And french toast.
You want lobster for breakfast?
Scrambled egg whites, that's it.
I mean, I heard her french toast is out of this world.
I think I'm gonna have to go with that lobster thing.
I think that's a great idea.
I'm sore.
I need to, like, be in bed for two days and get a massage.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
What's the longest massage you can have?
-For me? -Yeah.
-I can do an hour and a half. -I'll give you a massage.
I will...
Oh, just show jodi a little bit of your technique.
Just a little bit.
-Oh, wow. -Oh, yeah.
We'll be hauling anchor pretty soon.
Everything should be secured.
-Yeah. -Understand?
I'm gonna go and check the bridge deck aft.
Coming into this docking does make me, obviously,
a little nervous, going through the same channel
that last time was a complete failure.
Go ahead and drop fenders.
Oh, man, we lost the cover.
Fender cover's lost.
Jesus christ.
As first officer, I wanna spend as much time on the bridge
as possible, so I am looking for jake
to take the responsibility of the deck.
Too old for this sh--.
Doctor says I need a backiotomy.
Wes and rayna, will you guys make sure
those fenders get up...
Don't freaking salute me, there's snipers in those hills.
They love pickin' off officers.
You have three french toast orders and one lobster benedict.
And one order of scrambled egg whites.
Scrambled egg whites...
That is the bane of my existence.
When you go to, like, make them, they just weep.
Just this, like, soppy, wet, liquidy, nasty funk.
----Ing scrambled egg whites.
And then I'm almost done with the french toast.
Okay, I'll be back. Thank you, chef.
Wait, where are you going?
You have to be this way.
Oh, we're... Over that side?
I have to finish blowing it.
Oh!
-Egg whites for you, sir. -Look at that.
Thank you, thank you.
Coming in with the french toast.
Wow, that looks so good.
How does she just do this?
-Bacon, samuel? -French toast for you, sir.
Wow.
Oh, god.
I don't know that I've ever tasted anything like this.
Oh, my gosh.
I mean, are you kidding me?
-Good? -Mm!
All right, let's pull the hook.
Copy that. Anchor off the bottom.
-Rachel! -Hello, sir.
Oh, my goodness, best three days of food
I think we've all ever had.
Thank you.
Copy that.
It's just magic.
You're really tripping.
Did we strip all the beds, or just the ones down...
Mm!
On a scale from one to 10, jess is at, like,
8.2 clueless vibe.
They say work smarter, not harder,
but it seems as though jess is doing neither.
Deck team, deck team, go ahead and ready fenders for docking.
Prepare fenders.
So, like, throw them over now?
Wind, 18 knots... That's very doable.
It's gonna go perfect, right?
-Perfect. -Perfect.
I've had enough of getting yelled at
for deck team's mistakes.
I'm tired. I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna have me and rayna forward.
-Wes here. -Okay.
Moving to the wing station.
Starboard quarter, we're about 100 feet off.
Let's come up a little bit... Right there.
Got it.
You've got 35 feet on the port side.
Line's going across.
First line's across.
Mm... How's that look?
Stern lines locked in, stern lines locked in.
Copy that.
Well done, everybody, thank you.
Easy, didn't even break a sweat.
Pretty work, I like it.
Yeah, good job.
Hi, honey, I'm home.
Welcome home, sweetie.
Coming up...
Jake, jake!
He's my boss, the naked one is my boss.
Are you gonna crawl?
Get on all fours and, like, cat-crawl to it.
Oh, my god.
Attention, all crew, I need everybody in their whites asap.
No makeup, not okay.
I'm the worst packer ever.
I need everybody on the aft deck now.
Deck team copies, on our way.
Copy for interior.
I don't wanna say goodbye!
Oh!
Gimme a big hug.
My pleasure, thank you.
Thank you so much.
How you doing, sailor?
We had a great time, you guys are awesome.
Food was spectacular. We'll miss you.
Here.
The kid has a case handcuffed to his wrist.
Oh, god.
Thank you.
-Oh! -Thank you!
-Thank you so much. -Thanks, buddy.
-Yeah. -We're gonna miss you!
Yes.
Okay, you know the drill.
Let's get this trash outta here.
Yes!
I need this sh-- to be over with, because I need a beer.
This is my uniform. This is compulsory.
Eddie gave me two.
I'm actually at a loss for words right now.
Attention all crew, I need to have everybody in the crew mess.
All right, let's go.
Money dance, money dance.
Okay, mr. Wide-leg, get those things closer, scoot in!
-Who's on the radio? -I am.
[laughing]
great charter.
I think it went very, very well.
It was nice to see you come outta your shell
a little bit with your wig and everything.
Oh, my god.
Once I get my colorful hair back,
you know, the me comes alive.
Is that it?
Go, jess.
The docking today... Flawless.
Almost like we knew what we were doing.
-Almost. -Perfect.
Okay, we'll get to the important part here.
-Ooh. -Oh!
-Wow! -That's a lotta money!
Twenty-five large.
-Whoa! -Yeah!
Big tip. Big... Big, big tip.
Well done, team.
Have a good time tonight, you guys definitely earned it.
Go out, have some fun, and we'll get after it again tomorrow.
-Bye, captain. -Thanks, captain lee!
-See you later, guys. -You're welcome.
I like to roll around in it sometimes.
Make it rain!
Oh, it's thick, like it?
Ooh!
Nice tip, eh?
Pick it up like you got some bills to pay!
I love money!
I'm in a good mood now.
Yeah, that was a good pob... Nice pat on the back.
Is that what we've gotta do, nothing?
Do nothing, don't smile,
and then get a mention, get a gold star.
Yeah, whoever said you need to screw your way to the top?
Just do ----ing nothing.
So, wes, you gonna sit with jess tonight, eh?
Yeah, probably.
The way I see every single crew member,
that's probably the only seat that's gonna be available.
It's a bit like junior high.
Oh, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna make the moves?
Would I have done that on my own time
before you guys poked and prodded about it?
Yeah, I would have.
Now it's ----ing weird, man.
Hey, guys, wrap it up, we're knocking off.
-Did you hear the news? -Wrap it up, we're knocking off.
-What?
Shower, beer.
Here we are.
Oh, perfect.
I wanna be part of the linen gang.
Big boy arms, eh?
Oh [bleep] off.
You know who you remind me of right now?
Lois lane.
Where's my superman?
Ooh, snacks.
To the car, to the car, darling.
You look gorg.
-Woo! -That was epic.
Hell, yeah.
Wow, look at this.
No way!
I love this!
Let's get to business.
Can I please do the pumpkin chana?
I'm gonna have this bad girl, the petit filet mignon.
Six-ounce filet?
I will just start with a caesar.
If my eyebrows and my lashes went up,
I would fly out tonight.
All right, cheers to everyone.
Great crew and awesome [bleep].
Great crew, everybody.
[chattering]
cheers, everybody, cheers.
How are you?
Hello.
This is my third.
-Your third? -Third.
Jake's coming on a little strong,
and if I didn't have a boyfriend,
he would stand a chance.
But at the same time,
the 'stache looks prettier and prettier every day.
Fluff your hair. It's laying too flat.
Oh, man, I'm done with the table now.
Oh, do you know what I mean?
I know you're used to that posh table (bleep).
Oh, shut up, jake.
Actually, I'm gonna take one, too.
Are they all in the bathroom?
No, they're smokin' a stogie.
Ooh!
I'm sorry, did you like that coconut?
Ooh!
Jess does give me butterflies.
She reminds me of somebody that I had a big crush on.
Thought it was going someplace.
She totally broke my heart.
So, I stopped taking chances, played it safe.
I do this for a little while, I take off, I don't work.
If you could do it like the old people,
u?
Got two 85-year-olds at home.
I live that retired life.
Excuse me, sir, can we order some shots, please?
[overlapping dialogue]
jake is very attractive, and I might have a little crush.
Honestly, these abs.
He is a full-blown man whore, but that doesn't affect me.
He's straight and I'm gay.
I'm not... I'm not stupid.
Oh!
What the [bleep] happened to your pants?
-Put your goddamn pants on! -Oh, my god!
Just don't put the front down.
No, put the front down, [bleep] it.
Don't listen to her, you don't wanna embarrass yourself.
Hey, come here!
I wanna see what it looks like, at least.
He's my boss, the naked one is my boss.
[laughing]
coming up...
-Hey, bitches... -Yeah!
Oh, my god, am I gonna see some ----ing?
This is great!
Yes!
There's a naked one.
I can't.
-This guy. -Don't do that, you sherlock!
-Why do that? -Oh, my god.
Where is he going?
I can't see your penis from here, your legs are too white.
Why don't you just give the hands to the sky?
Don't do this!
He's my boss, the naked one is my boss.
This is, like, my impression of jake.
Yeah, woohoo!
Oh, they're idiots.
Winkie to wink?
All right.
-Oh, you want a towel? -Sure.
Oh, no, you gotta walk to yours.
Are you gonna crawl?
Does that not hurt? You gotta work for it.
Oh, what a... Oh, jake's ----ing [bleep] is floppin'.
What?
Oh, my god.
All right, come on, let's do this.
What are we doing after this, you guys?
Going back to the yacht.
Guys, we're moving.
Let's get outta here.
Thank you, guys.
How's your night going?
It's going good.
All right, I wanna be with rayna.
-Here. -Get in, get in with him.
Be ready for it.
So, everybody got retina burn from jake's ass, right?
I still can't over the fact that I saw his
flaccid penis flopping about.
All right, truth or dare.
Oh, god, here we go again.
Dare you guys to kiss, because I wanna see it.
Tongue kiss.
Yeah!
Yes.
I just can't wait until my hands don't feel like...
So tired.
I'm, like, getting, like, early arthritis.
That's a great thing.
Hey, bitches...
Oh, my god, am I gonna see some ----ing?
This is great!
Maybe I should start watching gay men porn.
I did not say that out loud, mom and dad.
That was some bitch behind me.
Five for the dismount, five.
This is amazing.
Did you see the full moon?
-No! -Yes!
I don't think anything fazes jake at this point.
Jake's gonna be the village bicycle.
I think everybody's gonna get a ride
with his handlebar moustache.
Quickly!
Oh [bleep] off... Go!
Wesley !
You're going to smoke a cigar?
-Whoa! -Sh--.
Oh, [bleep]!
That's all right.
-I'm good. -That's your hair.
We're good.
Something's burning.
Hey, where do you wanna smoke a cigar?
There's burnt hair.
You smell that, right?
Why do I smell, like, hair?
Burning hair?
-Yeah. -That's me.
Burning hair.
Okay. That's one way.
Ooh, don't go underwater.
Rayna, are you just sitting here...
-Rayna. -Like, eating...
Shut up.
No, I'm good, girl.
Oh...
What?
It just depresses me.
Yeah.
-Tattoo. -None.
-None? -None.
-Seriously? -Yeah, no tattoos.
What's gonna happen with wes and jess?
I was just gonna say, I'm really glad
she kinda came out of her shell tonight.
Really pushing it.
-She did, a little bit. -Trying to keep the team intact.
Because, like, she's so...
But captain lee's comment today at the table...
-Loves her. -It's taking down fraser.
He hasn't gotten one word of praise from the man,
and he said, "I'm just gonna start kicking around
"with a piss-poor attitude and do nothing,
and hopefully I'll finally get the praise I'm looking for."
I'm like, well, that's not what I need.
Are you out?
-Hey, hey, hey! -Ciao.
Night!
-Hello. -Hi.
-Good night, y'all. -Night, eddie.
We love you.
I know!
Oh!
----Ed.
[snoring]
ah, I don't wanna get up!
Oh, good grief.
How you feel?
Tired and hung over.
We can make some.
Look how fresh jess looks.
So fresh.
Okay.
I feel like you haven't hit hangover yet,
you're still drunk.
How do you guys feel?
You guys remember the pool bar?
No!
I gotta go. I ain't about to be late.
I'm gonna at least act like I'm working.
-Morning, eddie. -Good morning.
Good morning, ed.
Ah, you mother----er.
Oh, boy, that hurt.
How you doing?
Jesus christ, why did I get so drunk?
Your zipper's down.
Do you remember making out with fraser?
No, I don't, actually.
No? You did do that.
-Did I? -Yeah.
Mother----er.
-Hello. -You smell nice.
Mm, thank you, so do you.
I smell like alcohol and cigarettes.
I love the pictures of you two I got last night.
Yes!
What?
Did you not know that?
No!
Like, multiple times.
I am mortified.
Oh [bleep]!
Jake is straight, and now he possibly thinks
that I'm into him, which is awful,
and potentially very uncomfortable for him.
[bleep] me, I've put my best friend relationship
on the boat at risk.
On the inside, I'm crumbling.
[bleep]
next, on "below deck"...
Gonna put a little pressure on jess.
Okay.
And I'd love to put her on service
-and you on laundry. -Okay.
Where's she at?
What can I help you with today, sir?
-Uh-oh. -Am I allowed to do this?
It's your vacation.
This is embarrassing.
All eyes on you right now, and training day is ov
-hello! -How are you?
-Michael. -Michael, my pleasure.
The primary's recovering from breast cancer.
Right.
So, I guess they're celebrating boobs.
I was gonna do, like, a vanilla cake with coconut,
with, like, cherry nipples.
Cherry boobs?
These conversations go south so ----ing quick.
Hey, wes, you need to attach it to your stern
so you get more ----ing pull.
What are you doing, wes?
-Wes! -Hey, wes, wes...
Is the whole thing in the water again?
Shut up for a second!
No sh--.
I'm gonna rip someone's ----ing head off.
That's my job.