1
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,160
Look I know how much
you hate the idea of Celia
2
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:11,800
and I being an item.
3
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,680
It was a moment of madness.
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,720
One to many glasses of Rose,
the red mist descends
5
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,520
and before you know
it you're giving
6
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,840
an old friend a knee-trembler.
7
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,320
Right, stop the car.
8
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,560
Pull over.
9
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,960
[Martin] I miss the touch
of a woman, Alf.
10
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,000
Celia made me feel so alive
11
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,200
her eyes, her touch, her musk.
12
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,720
If it's any consolation,
it didn't last long.
13
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,000
She gave my prostate
the once over.
14
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,000
Apparently, it's tip-top.
15
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,440
[upbeat music]
16
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,720
Hey, Rosie.
I got you a little present.
17
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,160
Oh, a friendship bracelet?
18
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,240
It's just a silly
little thing to remind you
19
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,800
that I'm always
going to be here for you
20
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,000
no matter what, forever more.
21
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,560
It's no biggie.
You cut it off, I die.
22
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,240
Thanks.
23
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,720
Oh, Celia, Fraser's giving
the drugs counselor a lift,
24
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,600
and they're stuck on the M25,
so we might need a back-up plan.
25
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,720
It's drugs awareness day?
AKA doss day?
26
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,200
Show the kids a couple of
pictures of a dead junkie,
and then chill out.
27
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,560
Well, I've actually prepared
a proper presentation on drugs.
28
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:49,840
No, Rosie. It's a chore,
leave it to the most
senior member of staff.
29
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,000
No, it's fine, Celia. I'm going
to talk about drug mules,
30
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,760
and the Taliban,
and the US government.
31
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,360
Whoo, yeah, you go sister.
32
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,320
I blame Starbucks.
33
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,360
No, Israel.
34
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,240
Lizards?
35
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,600
Really, Rosie,
take a well-earned break.
36
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,280
Read a fashion magazine.
37
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,400
Flesh tones can be
so brutally honest.
38
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,720
I am fully equipped
to give this talk.
39
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,560
Well, maybe you'd like
to borrow a pair of these..
40
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,960
It's a talk,
Celia, not customs.
41
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,800
Well, it seems a shame
for them to go to waste.
42
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,400
Alfred, I've already given
your father's the once-over,
43
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,920
would you like me
to test your prostate?
44
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,680
What's happened?
45
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,800
It's his parents.
46
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,800
They're taking me
away from Abbey Grove.
47
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,120
They say it's not
academical enough.
48
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,880
What?
You, you can't leave.
49
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,920
Have your parents even
seen the league tables?
50
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,880
What, the league tables
in which we're ranked below
51
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,400
two orphanages and the kennels?
52
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,360
They want me to become
some boring lawyer.
53
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,000
Sir, are you and Miss Gulliver
cool at the mo?
54
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,400
Yeah. I mean,
she's split up with Alex,
55
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,600
and I reckon I've got just
about enough time to seduce her
56
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,360
before she remembers
her self-worth.
57
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,800
Gonna give her a
knob to cry on, sir?
58
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:10,560
Oh, no, sorry, Mitchell.
59
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,680
I think your mum's consoling
herself on it tonight.
60
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,440
Sir, can you ask
Miss Gulliver to persuade
61
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,560
my parents to let me stay here?
62
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,160
- Why can't I persuade them?
- 'Cause you'll mess it up, sir.
63
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,960
But I'm great with parents.
64
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,600
Every time you see my parents,
you insist on taking your shoes
off.
65
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,480
Yeah, and I bow.
Respectful.
66
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,400
Oh, shay shay. Ne how.
67
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,800
When my mum come in to talk
about me bunking off school,
68
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,720
you asked her if
you could use a clamp.
69
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,520
Yeah, well it's either
that or putting the
whole school on stilts.
70
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,800
- [laughs]
- But Miss Gulliver's
really persuasive.
71
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,920
Persuasive? Look,
I'm sorry if you wanna be
inspired to be a lawyer,
72
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,440
look no further my friend.
73
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,160
Last year I took on BP,
74
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,160
only one of the world's
largest corporations.
75
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,880
And I thrashed them,
on my own, in a court of law.
76
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,000
How much did you win?
77
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,200
Well, I didn't win
any actual money,
78
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,520
but you know the
Wild Bean Cafe in Tring?
79
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,840
They now have to have a sign
on their coffee machine
80
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,120
which reads, "Please do not
drink directly from the nozzle."
81
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,800
So, my place tonight, hang out,
82
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,280
listen to a bit of reggae music.
83
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,840
- You don't like reggae.
- Ollie Murs?
84
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,200
Alfie, I'm sorry.
85
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,720
I'm just not ready
to see anyone yet.
86
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,640
I, I wasn't asking you out.
87
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,840
Hey, if you need any help
with your presentation,
88
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,240
don't be afraid to ask,
'cause obviously,
89
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,440
I know quite a lot about drugs.
90
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,400
You took one
anti-depressant when you heard
91
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,160
that Five had broken up.
92
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,800
Five'll make you get down.
93
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,320
Yeah, well you're
still not that qualified.
94
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,880
Oh, really?
95
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:43,120
My friend Atticus Hoye
once took me to a poppers den.
96
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,480
You don't get
a den for poppers.
97
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,320
Well, that shows
how much you know.
98
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,120
All these naked guys injecting
themselves with poppers
99
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,240
by sitting on these
big rubber needles.
100
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,680
Atticus, he couldn't
get enough of it.
101
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,480
You know what they say.
"Once you pop you
just can't stop."
102
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,640
So if you change
your mind about tonight.
103
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:02,880
I won't.
104
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,480
- Well, you might.
- I absolutely won't.
105
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,880
Absolutely might.
106
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,920
[bell ringing]
107
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,280
Okay, guys, so there's gonna
be no history class today.
108
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,400
[cheers]
109
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,400
I'm going to do my
drugs presentation,
110
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,520
followed by a
question and answer.
111
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,880
- I got a question, Miss.
- Yep.
112
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,440
Is it true police
dogs can't smell skunk
113
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,160
if you put it in a
bottle of Femfresh?
114
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,640
- Yep.
- I sincerely doubt it.
115
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,360
Oh, man.
Does anyone want some Femfresh?
116
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,960
Oh, yeah, I'll take it.
117
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,640
My flat gets really smelly.
118
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,840
Do you even know
what Femfresh is?
119
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,320
It's like Febreeze, right?
120
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,440
Yeah, it makes your
curtains smell nice.
121
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:37,960
[laughing]
122
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:43,280
Okay, guys, okay
calm down, that's enough.
123
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:53,680
Now, can anyone im...
imagine
124
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:58,400
how hard life must be for Maria,
125
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,120
a drug mule from Mexico.
126
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,760
Whoo, yeah.
127
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,520
If I was eating
Mexican food every day,
128
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,800
I don't think I'd be able
to keep anything in my ass.
129
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,640
[laughing]
130
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,640
What do people
like Maria need?
131
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,360
Hair straighteners?
132
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,480
Look at the split ends on that.
133
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,960
True that.
134
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,320
And maybe some make-up
to sort out this car crash.
135
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,760
No, no.
136
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,960
What people like
Maria need is our respect.
137
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,120
G's, Hustlers, crisis averted.
138
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,280
Your drugs counselor
has arrived.
139
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:26,560
Oh, no, no, no, no, 'cause
140
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,320
I'm in the middle of,
of my drugs talk.
141
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,760
Oh, that's very sweet, Miss G,
142
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,920
but I have a professional
up my wizard's sleeve.
143
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,560
Guys, meet India.
144
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,120
Namaste.
145
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,360
I'm India.
146
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,960
Hi, Alfie,
147
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,560
teacher, leader, legend.
148
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:52,760
[chuckles]
149
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,320
India you say?
Land of the pyramids.
150
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,200
I'm something of
a sphinx-er myself.
151
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,840
Sorry, did you
just say sphinx-er?
152
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:05,960
OK, so I cotch for the
drugs counseling service
called Vibesline.
153
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,800
We're an advice pipeline
you can use to freebase
154
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:10,320
non-judgemental advice.
155
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,920
I'm sorry can we
lose the fat girl?
156
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,200
[loud deliberate laugh]
157
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,520
Cartel got her.
Buried in the ditch.
158
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:22,800
Basically, if it's vibesing,
chillax and ride the wave.
159
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,280
She calls me that, too.
160
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:30,120
It's Chinese for
leader of the blind,
161
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,920
up the great mountain of wisdom.
162
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,840
Sort of, roughly.
163
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:41,120
Thanks, babe.
I'm here to talk to you
about the dark side of drugs.
164
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,720
[loud Indian music]
165
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,000
Okay, yeah.
166
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,640
You're having a massive night.
167
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,400
The sun is coming up.
168
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,400
You are totally Chung-ed.
169
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,880
But the good times are over.
170
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,560
Now we have to deal
with the terrible
171
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:19,360
consequences of substance abuse.
172
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,400
You can't find your Oyster card.
173
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,200
It's a long walk
back to Chiswick.
174
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,480
You, you lost an earring
your grandmother left you
in her will.
175
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,800
That is 45 minutes
looking for it
176
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,480
on your hands and knees,
using your phone as a torch.
177
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,880
And you, you kissed
the guy who runs
178
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,240
the deli you go into every day.
179
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,840
Fraser, this is nonsense.
180
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,520
- Nonsense?
- Mmm.
181
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:45,160
- FYI, you're a real negatude.
- Sorry, negatude?
182
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,760
Negative attitude,
it's a mash-up.
183
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,840
Yeah, it's a mash-up.
184
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,600
Get with the times, Marple.
185
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,720
[makes whooshing sound]
186
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,560
That was the most pathetic thing
I've ever seen.
187
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,280
I actually thought
India was kinda good.
188
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,360
I'm talking about you,
"Teacher, leader, legend."
189
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,440
Oh, yeah, I forgot visionary.
190
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,840
Look, I just got into her vibe.
191
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,800
I know exactly what
you want to get into.
192
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:13,200
Are you jealous?
193
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,440
Why would I be
jealous of Ind-jah?
194
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,680
You sound jeliculous.
195
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,800
Jealous and ridiculous.
196
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,680
- Mash-up.
- You should stop doing that.
197
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,320
You're beginning to sound
like a bit of a twunt.
198
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,720
Oh, that is so uncalled-for.
199
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,000
Hey.
Oh, soz, bit of a domestic?
200
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,880
A domestic?
No, we're not a couple.
201
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,760
No don't worry, I'm single.
202
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:43,280
I'm young, dumb and full
of com... fortable silences.
203
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,480
Do you want to hit
the canteen maybe?
204
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,680
Oh, it's pathetic.
205
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:50,720
Come on, let's go
have a lovely lunch.
206
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,760
A lunch.
207
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,680
It was meant to be a mash-up.
208
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,440
- It's this way.
- OK.
209
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,160
Yeah, I used to
cane it pretty hard.
210
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,400
Things got pretty
messy in Ibiza.
211
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,000
- Which club?
- Club Med.
212
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,840
I went on the water slides
straight after lunch.
213
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,800
My dad went ballistic.
214
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,280
That was one frosty pedalo home.
215
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,200
[loud laugh]
216
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:20,560
[Stephen clears throat]
217
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,360
My parents don't want
to talk to Miss Gulliver, sir,
218
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,960
they only want to talk to you.
219
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,640
Very sensible.
220
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,920
Why are you dressed
as a Scottish widow?
221
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,760
Because this is my
last day at Abbey Grove.
222
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,320
[phone rings]
223
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,440
Oh, excuse me.
224
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:41,240
I am bothered, but I think
this girl actually likes me.
225
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,720
What a slut.
226
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,480
Everything that I love
is being torn away from me.
227
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,800
And I appreciate that.
228
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,800
It's just that you're also being
a little bit of a cock-block.
229
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,400
Look, I'll call your Dad
as soon as lunch is over.
230
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,520
I promise you,
I won't let him take you away.
231
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,920
Come on, babes.
232
00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,560
Yep.
233
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,240
OK, so that was
my mate, Savannah.
234
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,520
Her, me, Uggie
and Quinoa are going to this
235
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,800
totally exclusive
warehouse rave tonight.
236
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,400
This guy called
Ben Grayson runs it.
237
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,320
Ben Grayson? Yeah, his brother
Frank's at this school.
238
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,840
Could he get us
on the guest list?
239
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,120
Us?
240
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,000
What, like we're on a date?
241
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,800
[giggles]
242
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,320
Why not?
243
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,400
Well, yeah.
I'll give him a call now.
244
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,320
Oh, answer phone.
245
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:34,240
Yo, Frankenstein, yeah,
it's Mr. Wickers here,
246
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,360
wicky-wickywickers,
I was just wondering, bro,
247
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,400
whether there was any
chance I could just bum
248
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,560
a couple of ticky-boos
to the old rave-age?
249
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,320
- Guest list.
- Guest list-age.
250
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,840
Anyway, give me
a bell back, bro. Laters.
251
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:49,800
Love you, I don't love you. Bye.
252
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,000
So if we go to
this rave tonight,
253
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,280
are you going to
take anything, to like,
254
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,520
you know, help you through?
255
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,280
Yeah, well, I mean,
if we're going to be dancing
until the break of dawn,
256
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,560
I will probably need to
take my supportive in-soles.
257
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,280
No, no.
258
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,480
Drugs.
259
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:13,800
- But I thought you were clean.
- Only nine to five.
260
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:19,400
If you get me on the guest
list, things could get messy.
261
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,000
Oh, they're gonna get messy.
262
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:25,360
I'll probably
cover myself in shit.
263
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,600
[forced laugh]
264
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,160
My sister, Mortadella,
took this legal high, right,
265
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:35,840
which made her think she
could freeze time and lick it
like a lolly.
266
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,440
Sure, that's...
267
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,240
...Dirty Viennetta.
268
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,680
It's like getting
a hand job off Aslan.
269
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:50,840
Could you get
some for tonight?
270
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,320
Hell, yeah.
271
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:56,280
Me, you, Havannah,
Ugly and Cous Cous
272
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,440
are gonna get absolutely mashed.
273
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,120
[phone rings]
274
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,800
Is that Frank, amazing.
275
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,400
Yo, what's up
motherlover I cannot wait
276
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:11,120
to get into your club,
bang some drugs, shake my jugs.
277
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,800
Oh, Mr. Carmichael.
278
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,320
No, Stephen did not mention that
279
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,440
you were going to
call me directly.
280
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:19,680
[whispers]
I'll be a sec.
281
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,560
I am so sorry about that.
282
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,800
[laughing]
283
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,200
Yo, what's happening?
284
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,360
Did you get my message
about the guest list?
285
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,400
Twenty quid a bloke.
Women go free.
286
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,760
Well, it's me
and my sexy date, so.
287
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:45,440
- Well, that's 40 quid then.
- Yep, my date's a woman.
288
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,880
If I give you 40 quid,
it's in no way a confession.
289
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:56,800
Also, my date wants to try
a certain thing tonight.
290
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,440
Well, make sure
he knows the safe word.
291
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,680
And I've heard you don't
wanna pull it out too quickly.
292
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,560
I'm talking about drugs.
293
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,480
Apparently this drug makes you
think that time is an ice cream?
294
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,840
- Yeah 50 quid a scoop.
- Done.
295
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,320
[gasps]
296
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,760
Did you just ask
me to buy you drugs?
297
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,320
Yeah, well, obviously.
298
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,480
Oh, God, you're blackmailing me,
aren't you?
299
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:27,000
- Mm. Yeah.
- [sighs]
300
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,800
What do you mean,
none of you sell drugs?
301
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:33,600
All I can say is that I am
very, very disappointed in you.
302
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,920
Why do you need drugs anyway?
303
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,560
Because I'm going
on a date with India.
304
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,480
Why can't you just
buy them yourself?
305
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,200
Uh, because A, I'm a teacher,
306
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,360
B, Grayson's stole
all of my money,
307
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,520
and C, I made the drug up
in the first place,
308
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,880
so have you got any idea
how ridiculous you sound?
309
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,280
Sir, apparently you spoke
to my dad.
310
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,280
Yeah, look, I'm sorry
I'll apologize for that,
311
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,800
just as soon as I've sorted out
this one very important thing.
312
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,640
Sir, Stephen's dad
is really just gonna--
313
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,000
Chantelle, please.
I must insist.
314
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,240
This is my thinking face.
315
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,960
That's why she
didn't recognize it.
316
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,520
[inhales deeply]
317
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,280
Oh, boom squared.
318
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,760
Do you know what face
this is Chantelle?
319
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,800
- Is it your cum--
- Don't even say that.
320
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,800
This is my had
a brilliant idea face.
321
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,360
If I can't buy the drug,
I'm gonna make the drug.
322
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,600
Are you mad?
323
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,840
Come on, drugs must be
easy to invent.
324
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,480
Look at Meow-meow.
That's fertilizer.
325
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,200
It's just someone getting
peckish in a garden center.
326
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,400
Mitchell, you must know
something about drugs?
327
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,600
Course I do. My brother spent
so long in a Thai prison,
328
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,200
he come back speaking
fluent Scouse.
329
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,720
Alright, well you can be
my head chef, my LS-Delia.
330
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:43,920
Now, we need someone to help
with the science aspect.
331
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,440
- Jing?
- No way.
332
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,840
What if I told you that
this counted towards
333
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:53,280
the community service element
of your Duke of Edinburgh Award?
334
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,680
It's either this or
wiping an old guy's ass.
335
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:00,800
- Fine.
- Yes!
336
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,240
[knocking on door]
337
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,840
Sir, Professor Green
wants to see you.
338
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,560
Oh, could you tell Professor
Green to go swivel on that?
339
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,920
[students chuckle]
340
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,880
No, I didn't mean that.
No, don't tell her that!
341
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,600
I'll meet you in the
science lab in ten minutes.
342
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,280
Can you come back, please!
343
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,640
Is anything troubling
you at the moment, Alfred?
344
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,920
Mm, no.
345
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,720
I saw you talking to
Mr. Grayson earlier.
346
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,800
Money exchanging hands.
347
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,800
I may look like a girl of 16.
348
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,480
- Sixty.
- But I'm not a fool.
349
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,280
I was buying tickets
to a rave, big deal.
350
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,840
Alfred, I too have
an addictive personality.
351
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:41,000
Your father,
I crave Martin Wickers.
352
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:46,400
I want to inhale him, snort him,
353
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,800
feel him racing through my
veins and exploding inside me.
354
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,200
I'll help you with your problem.
355
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,520
You help me with your father.
356
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,400
There is absolutely
no way on earth
357
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,120
I would ever let
my dad go out with you.
358
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,200
And who's Martin more
likely to believe, dear?
359
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,920
A deceitful, drug-addled son,
360
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:11,560
or the woman
who's trying so hard to help?
361
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,800
Look, you better get this
into your stupid bunny boiling,
362
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,280
hobbity little head,
I don't do drugs, okay?
363
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,880
You're either with me,
or against me.
364
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,640
Ew, it smells disgusting.
365
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,240
She's never gonna swallow that.
366
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,520
I could lower the pH down by
367
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,280
neutralizing
the carbon substrate.
368
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,840
I've got a better idea.
369
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,720
Behold, Dirty Vienetta.
370
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,000
Why do I bother?
371
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,200
Alfie, it stinks in here.
What is that?
372
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:13,120
This, my old friend,
is the new legal high
373
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,280
that all the kids
are talking about.
374
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,400
Please tell me you are not
cooking drugs with children?
375
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,640
Oh, God, here we go again.
376
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,160
Throwing the rule book at me.
What is it this time?
377
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,920
Page 20,000 rule three million,
subsection b:
378
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:29,280
do not involve the children
in the production of narcotics.
379
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,440
Do you realize how
irresponsible you're being?
380
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,680
Babe, you really
need to chill out.
381
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,760
Maybe you should take a
leaf out of India's book.
382
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,760
Okay, and what book is that?
Fifty Shades of Bitch?
383
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,600
The Great Twatsby?
384
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:45,360
The Unbearable Lightness of
Being a Cod-Bohemian Dipshit?
385
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,560
Okay, obviously the last
of those is not a real book.
386
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,640
Is it?
387
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,640
Alfie, you have done
some crazy stuff in your time.
388
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:58,640
Yeah, like falling in...
fond with you.
389
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:02,360
Alfie, in the classroom
just be a teacher, yeah?
390
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,920
And with women just,
just be yourself.
391
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,680
- Be myself?
- Yeah.
392
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,280
Great, so you're so jealous,
393
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,720
that you want me
to die a virgin?
394
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,360
Right, Mitchell,
I can sense you snickering.
395
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,000
Room for a little one,
Mr. Fraser?
396
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,520
Ah, no Mr. Fraser here.
397
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:23,360
I'm Kurt Cobear
the anti-drugs bear!
398
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,640
- Bear?
- They didn't have any
more bear costumes.
399
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:26,800
So you're...
400
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,400
I'm Kurt Co-bear
the anti-drugs prawn,
401
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,160
conducting a drugs amnesty...
under the sea.
402
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,880
I'm here on rather
pressing business.
403
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,520
There's a young teacher
at Abbey Grove
404
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,520
who has become the victim
of a craven drug addiction.
405
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,920
If you're talking about me,
I've only ever taken drugs once,
406
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,280
and the ending
was not a happy one.
407
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,520
I was weather-guarding
some suede slacks
408
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,440
when I took in a
lung-full of fumes.
409
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,880
I was completely off my head
and thought I could fly.
410
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,240
It was an absolute disaster.
I forgot my passport
411
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,280
then I freaked out
on the Gatwick Express.
412
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,360
I wish I'd weather-guarded
the inside of those slacks.
413
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:02,600
I see I must act alone.
Goodbye, Mr. Fraser.
414
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,320
I'll be seein' ya.
415
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,320
Alfie, this drug
stuff has gone too far.
416
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,680
[groans] Are you gonna tell me
this is the most stupid thing
I've ever done?
417
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,400
Well, apart from when
you bet your laptop that
418
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,360
Jason Statham
would win that Oscar.
419
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,120
Have you seen Transporter 3?
420
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,960
Look, Alfie,
Miss Gulliver's right.
421
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,200
Ok, you've got a lot
of great qualities,
422
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,320
and if someone can't see that,
423
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,720
then they probably
don't deserve you.
424
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,560
Yeah, I guess you're right.
425
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,400
What great qualities?
426
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,720
Well, you can speak Elvish.
427
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,120
Just "Where's the toilet?"
"Can I have some tap water."
428
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:42,360
- It's barely restaurant Elf.
- Well, I'm impressed.
429
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:46,200
So what, you mean
India might like me
for who I actually am?
430
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,920
That I don't need to do this?
431
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,360
Hey, Albert, you wanna
hit up some chamomile tea?
432
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,880
- Do I?
- You're teaching us history.
433
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,320
Yeah, that's right.
434
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,760
We're learning about
the build-up of hostilities
435
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,800
prior to the First World War.
436
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:00,800
Downton Abbey Series One's
on my desk.
437
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,560
Shall we?
438
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:12,320
- One Shitty Cornetto.
- Dirty Viennetta?
439
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,480
Damn straight.
440
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,640
Jesus, that honks, man.
441
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,160
Yeah, I'm not sure.
442
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,680
- How do we know if it's safe?
- Safe?
443
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,920
Babe, I've been scooping
this shit all day long.
444
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,280
[coughs]
445
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,480
Oh, get in my face.
446
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,160
- Right, look, Albert.
- Alfie.
447
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,160
I'm not sure about this shit.
448
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,160
Babe, we're gonna
have such a sick night.
449
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,640
Just gotta ride the wave man.
450
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,400
You're just too wild, bro.
451
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,600
Let's just drop it
like it's hot.
452
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,640
[retching]
453
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,400
Oh, shit, man!
454
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,880
- I'm sorry.
- You chundered on my vintage.
455
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,520
Not cool.
456
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,680
Sick and vintage, sintage.
It's a mash up.
457
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,840
Oh, my God.
458
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,520
Am I wearing a really
tight little hat?
459
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:41,880
♪ Under the sea
under the sea ♪
460
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:46,480
♪ Down here it's better
down where it's wetter ♪
461
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,120
♪ Under the sea ♪
462
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,120
Oh, my God, I'm a mermaid.
463
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,600
- Alfie.
- There's a giant prawn.
464
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,720
I spoke to him in his
own fishy language.
465
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,920
Alfie, you might want to
come out from under there.
466
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,440
Who's Alfie?
467
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,520
My name is Ariel.
468
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,120
[laughing]
469
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,240
[dog barks loudly]
470
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:19,800
Officers, this is Mr. Wickers.
471
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,320
I'd begun to wonder
where you'd gone to.
472
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,960
Thank you for covering for me.
473
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:27,360
OK, kids, who can tell me why
Lady Sibyl defied her father
474
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,000
and eloped with an Irishman?
475
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,280
Begorrah, to be sure,
I used to be a chauffeur
476
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,120
but now I am a class traitor.
477
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,400
Diddly dee, dee dee dee dee.
478
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,160
Who trained this dog
to walk underwater?
479
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:41,960
[dog barks]
480
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:47,800
It must be the work of this hag,
Ursula the Sea Witch.
481
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,480
Alfie, put the scissors down.
482
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,520
Ow, I need to look sexy
for Prince Eric.
483
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,160
- Alfie.
- Shush, Flounder.
484
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,600
Please, sir, not the bra.
My parents are coming.
485
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,840
- Is he OK?
- No, I don't think he is.
486
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:03,720
- I think he's on drugs.
- I've got to get Miss Gulliver.
487
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:07,400
Stephen, you need to
help me with my hair.
488
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,840
Prince Eric prefers me
when I'm auburn.
489
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,120
- Sir, stop it!
- [laughing]
490
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:15,120
And after Maria slew
the Cordoba brothers,
491
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:20,960
she vowed never again to use
her anus as a receptacle.
492
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,520
Miss Gulliver,
you've got to help.
493
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,480
Joe, I'm teaching
a class here.
494
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,960
Mr. Wickers
is going mad, miss.
495
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,640
I think he's eaten
a Dirty Viennetta.
496
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,000
Well Mr. Wickers needs to
learn how to look after himself.
497
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,920
But Pro Green's in there, miss,
and the police.
498
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,320
He'll lose his job.
He could go to prison.
499
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,640
You know what, Joe, maybe
prison's the best place for him.
500
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,800
This whole thing with India,
it's not about her,
501
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,960
it's about proving
that he's over you
502
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,200
when he obviously isn't.
503
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,360
You know, after you two
kissed last term
504
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,920
he told us that
he had an erection
505
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,880
that lasted for six hours
and 23 minutes.
506
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:55,000
And you know what,
he didn't even deal with it
507
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,720
because he thought it
would cheapen the moment.
508
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,280
Plus, he refused to tell us
what your boobs felt like,
509
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,000
even though you were
right up on him and--
510
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,520
Alright, Joe,
that's enough, come on let's go.
511
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:06,360
♪ Under the sea,
under the sea, under the sea ♪
512
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:09,800
Come on, Alfie,
smile for Daddy.
513
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,160
Why are you photographing him?
514
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,640
To prove this lost
little boy needs a mother.
515
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,680
Now, I think we should take
a urine sample, officers?
516
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,400
I want a full toxicology report.
517
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,760
No, Ursula, I don't
want your potion.
518
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,680
Uh, oh.
519
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:29,280
Prince Eric, you've come
to save me from my captors.
520
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:33,600
Lord Trident forbids
our union but it feels so right.
521
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,880
What on earth's going on?
522
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,360
Mum, dad, this isn't
what it looks like.
523
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:39,240
[gasps]
My bra!
524
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,280
- Nobody peek at my mer-bosoms.
- We're leaving, Stephen.
525
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,280
[Chantelle] No, Stephen.
Please, sir, please don't.
526
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:45,360
[Stephen] I don't want
to leave my friends.
527
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:47,400
Calm down, Princess Ariel.
528
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,200
But how can I be
calm when I'm going out
529
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:54,560
with such a sexy,
little starfish?
530
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,840
[students gasp]
531
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,800
We will conquer your
demons and restore peace
532
00:25:58,800 --> 00:25:59,520
to your watery kingdom.
533
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:00,960
If you just sit down
on that bit of coral
534
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,560
and just stop what you're doing.
535
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:03,880
[fake laughs]
536
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,640
Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael,
officers, Professor Green.
537
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,000
I hope you've enjoyed
this role-play, a radical,
538
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,800
educational tool pioneered
by drug charity Vibesline.
539
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,160
- Role-play?
- Mhm.
540
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,600
The man's mad.
541
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,160
Yes, yes, Mr. Wickers
is acting like a pathetic,
542
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,840
grotesque, utterly
irresponsible little man.
543
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,760
But those are the
consequences of drug abuse.
544
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,360
Well, it's very realistic.
545
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:41,400
Mmm, and who in this class
would ever touch a drug
546
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,400
after this performance?
547
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,800
I mean, obviously,
if Alfie was high,
548
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,400
then the deputy head
would have to fire him,
549
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,200
and call the police
and explain to his father
550
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:58,280
how she ruined his
son's life forever.
551
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,560
So it's a good thing that
Alfie's acting, right, Celia?
552
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:08,160
The wonderful thing about
Mr. Wickers is his commitment.
553
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,680
Whatever it takes to
engage these pupils.
554
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,600
I'm so happy here, Dad.
Please let me stay?
555
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,000
Oh come on Richard, please.
556
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,800
Okay, I'll think about it.
557
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,480
[everyone cheers]
558
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,760
P-A-R-T-Y without me?
559
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,200
How very shellfish of you.
560
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,480
[dog barks loudly]
561
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,800
Prawns and pigs, eh.
562
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,840
It's a good job
you're not Jewish,
Officer... Finklestein.
563
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:48,560
Ursula, call off your sea dogs
and let my prawn swim free!
564
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,240
[groans]
565
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,800
Show's over, Alfie.
566
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,800
Why didn't you want
to come and swim with me?
567
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,800
The water's so lovely and warm.
568
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,440
Oh, my God.
569
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,240
Sir pissed himself.
570
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:11,600
Dad, what are
you doing in here?
571
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,400
Oh, hello Alfie.
572
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,600
Just having a little sit down.
573
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,520
Can I see you in the car?
574
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,200
Oh, God, Dad!
575
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:25,800
[groans]