1
00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:02,200
- [bell ringing]
- [makes cocking sound]
2
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,720
Lock and load, bitches.
It's class wars!
3
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:06,800
[cheers]
4
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:07,920
Mitchell, Rem Dogg, corridor.
5
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,800
You're the advancing
German army.
6
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,760
Right, it's the
27th of May, 1940.
7
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,680
Thousands of British
troops have been stranded
8
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,760
on the beaches of Dunkirk.
9
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,640
French beach, is it
one of those topless ones?
10
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,320
No Chantelle,
keep your clothes on,
and prepare for battle!
11
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,440
[yelling]
12
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,440
Hey, gang!
13
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[door shuts]
14
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I'm Mr. Schwimer.
15
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,760
Uh, where did you come from?
16
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,400
All the way from
Harvard University,
17
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,760
sunshine state of California,
reporting for duty, sir!
18
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,840
Yeah, we're doing
the battle of Dunkirk.
19
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,280
Which means you're about
four years too early, mate.
20
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,680
You're doing humor.
I love British humor.
21
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,880
Corgies with me majesty,
me lord?
22
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,400
Please, can I have
another crumpet?
23
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,240
Alright, settle down
everybody, take a seat.
24
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,680
Is he fucking mental.
25
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,760
Oi, Dick Van Dyke, what the hell
are you doing here?
26
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,400
- This is my class.
- Didn't Miss Pickwell tell you?
27
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,600
I'm here to take over Form K.
28
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[makes buzzer sound]
29
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No you're not,
these are my pupils.
30
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,480
Sorry, hombre, not anymore.
31
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:16,760
Well, actually,
yes any more, hombre.
32
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,760
I'm in charge around here.
I've got their respect.
33
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,480
I'm like a God to them.
34
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,200
[speaking German]
35
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,920
What? Dunkirk was at sea.
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00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,480
[upbeat music]
37
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[Fraser] Welcome to Radio
Frase, the chat quota of LBC,
38
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,200
but with a host who
was loved as a child.
39
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,840
Avengers, assemble-y.
40
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:15,280
Last one there gets a detention,
unless it's Rem Dogg.
41
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,560
First announcement
on the new tannoy, check.
42
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,800
Felt weird without
any trousers on.
43
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,680
Note to self: fake tan
and white slacks don't mix.
44
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,640
The tannoy is
still on, isn't it?
45
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,120
[sharp screech]
46
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,880
Just to clarify,
I am wearing underpants.
47
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,360
Have you seen Pickwell?
God, when I see her,
48
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,360
I'm gonna give it to
her with both barrels.
49
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,800
Dick.
50
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:51,920
Maybe a change
would do you good?
51
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:55,000
Yea, you would say that,
cradle snatcher.
52
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,120
Alex is three years
younger than you.
53
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,880
We're happy.
Get over it.
54
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,160
[Alfie]
Did you have a fun weekend?
55
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,160
We went for a lovely,
romantic meal.
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00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,800
A Happy Meal, was it?
What toy did she get?
57
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,600
If anyone's a child here,
it's you.
58
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,360
Great. Well, that means,
you can set me and Alex up
on play dates.
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00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,480
Well, she does have
some very fun toys.
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00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:14,920
Oh.
61
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,440
Hello, wilkommen and awooga!
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00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:25,320
Item one: the school's got a
couple of new furry friends.
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00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,360
And I'm not talking
about the pair of puppies
64
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,440
Erica Tinkler's
recently acquired.
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00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,560
Woof, woof!
66
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,600
♪ Who let the dog's out ♪
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00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:33,920
[laughs]
68
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,520
Damn puberty let the dogs out.
69
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,640
It's normal for your
bodies to change and grow.
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00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,120
In fact, the other day
I thought I found a lump.
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00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,400
Don't worry, nothing cancerous,
72
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,120
turns out it's just a knot of
dead skin in the old pork purse.
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00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,160
Rats, we've got rats.
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00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,360
Rats are really just big
black mice, like Rastamouse.
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00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,800
So, don't be scared
of them and please,
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00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,440
please, please don't
tell your parents.
77
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,560
Item Two: the PE teacher has
quit to become a tree surgeon,
78
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,120
I know, email from
his lawyer saying
79
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,880
something about
operations on a yew tree.
80
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,200
Good luck to the guy.
81
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,800
Luckily, we've got
a new signing,
82
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:18,960
who's gonna be taking
over the school's worst
performing class, Special K...
83
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,720
...um, Form K.
84
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,320
As the Archbishop of Banterbury,
85
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:27,360
I hereby ordain thee
Brother Schwimer.
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00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,480
Explosion, shrapnel.
87
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:36,680
[both grunting]
88
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,800
That handshake is the best thing
89
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:39,640
that's ever happened to me.
90
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,000
So, a little about me.
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00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,400
I just got back from
Malawi, Africa,
92
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,840
where I was helping the
victims of a savage civil war.
93
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,440
But I am sure as heck
pretty darn excited to be
94
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:56,160
here now in Watford,
United Kingdom.
95
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,120
OK, so I'm going to
be teaching History,
96
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,920
and helping out with Gym class.
97
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,320
So I guess you guys are
wondering what exactly
98
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,440
- qualifies this guy
to teach gym? Huh?
- Yes.
99
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,800
Well, I did make a brief
appearance at the Olympics,
100
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,720
here in London, England
on team USA.
101
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,240
[students cheer]
102
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,520
What do you want, a medal?
103
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,440
I won gold with
the coxless four.
104
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,960
[students cheer]
105
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:25,520
Now I wanna give you guys a
taste of the good old US of A.
106
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,400
But I will leave
the school food to you.
107
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,640
I'm not saying my
students back home were
chunky or anything, but,
108
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,960
I could catch them skipping
class on Google Earth.
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00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,320
[students laugh]
110
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,480
Let's hope they keep the gun
culture at home as well, mate.
111
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,640
We all know why they
keep their kids so fat...
112
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,560
[makes cocking sound]
...bigger targets.
113
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,480
[makes shooting sound]
114
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:49,880
High school massacres.
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00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:52,640
Am I right?
116
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:54,960
Yeah.
117
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,800
Come on,
he's yanking your chain.
118
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,720
Gallows humor.
Throw him in the bloody tower
119
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,920
with Saint Arthur
of the Round Lake.
120
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,160
[students laugh]
121
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,760
Classic, someone lock this
guy up in Bant-anamo Bay!
122
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,320
Hey, Timberlake?
123
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,440
Who's with me?
124
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,200
I love Justin Timberlake.
125
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,520
Mr. Wickers not with you?
126
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:23,800
Why, do you want him?
127
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,120
[laughs]
128
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,480
No, I don't "want" him.
129
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,120
I just thought he'd be
yapping around your cankles
130
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,240
like some over-excited puppy
131
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,800
that needs a good
spade to the genitals.
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00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,160
Just to clarify,
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00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,440
because I don't want you
misreading any signals,
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00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:43,960
it may shock you to learn
that a sexual carnivore
135
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:49,400
like myself, was,
for a spell, herbivorous.
136
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,960
Well, I don't understand
a word of what you just said
137
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,400
but I'm guessing it's
something to do with the fact
138
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,880
that I've got a girlfriend.
139
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,280
I understand your surprise now,
but this velociraptor
140
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,640
couldn't wolf down
the caper bush forever.
141
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,400
Are you trying
to flirt with me?
142
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,800
No, no, God, no, no, no.
143
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,600
Women cannot live
on pita alone.
144
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,480
I need a little
Kofte in my kebab.
145
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:14,560
Well, I'm sure that comes
as a relief to many, many men.
146
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,760
I want you to know that I am...
147
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,400
...back on solids.
148
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:22,600
Phew...
149
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,280
We need to talk about Kevin.
150
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,840
You can talk to me
about anything you want.
151
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,440
My door is so open,
it's off its hinges.
152
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,920
[drill revs]
153
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,520
Yeah, I get it, very clever.
154
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,520
Why didn't you tell me
I was losing my class?
155
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,680
After that fire at
the swimming gala,
156
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,680
Pickwell has got
my jolly pink giant
157
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,800
by the scruff of its neck.
158
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:53,640
She said either I hire Kevin
159
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,240
or she reports me to various
child welfare agencies,
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00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,720
none of which are
mahusive fans of Super-F.
161
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,840
Well, I don't care where
I have to take this fight
I'm getting my kids back.
162
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,360
Oh, BT dubs, if you're planning
a Fathers for Justice
style protest,
163
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,400
I've got a wide variety
of superhero costumes
you could borrow.
164
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,320
The only one I can't lend
you is the Superman one.
165
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,720
Why not?
166
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,840
How long have you
been wearing that?
167
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,200
Every day for four years.
168
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,400
In case I need to
save the school bus.
169
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:27,640
Buttons, buttons,
where are the buttons?
170
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,440
Right, look, you can't
just give my class away.
171
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,720
- Can too.
- Cannot.
172
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,880
Can can, can can,
I can do the can can.
173
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,640
Yea, well, I've spoken to
them and my class want me back.
174
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,200
They would take a bullet for me.
175
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,120
Ha, find that hard to believe.
176
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:51,600
What the hell is that?
177
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,520
OK, right, you are
aware this isn't Hogwarts?
178
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,800
Mr. Wickers, meet Rumsfeld.
Rumsfeld, meet Mr. Wickers.
179
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,160
Why is there an
owl on your arm?
180
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,560
Well, Mr. Fraser's attempts
to eradicate the vermin
181
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,800
have thus far been
unsuccessful, so.
182
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:09,920
An owl is the solution?
183
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,720
Well, I wanted
to use mustard gas,
184
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,760
but some precious
red tape Susan said
185
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,320
that sulphur-based cytotoxins
and children are incompatible.
186
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,280
Hence, Rumsfeld and I,
are hunting rats.
187
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,360
Oh, and there's one in
particular that's so grubby,
188
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:25,240
even turds retch as they
glide past him in the sewer.
189
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,240
OK, well I assume I'm that rat
190
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,400
in that little pooey
analogy of yours.
191
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,160
But let me tell you this,
there is absolutely
no way on earth
192
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,760
that I'm just gonna
stand by and watch you.
193
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,800
[Pickwell chirping]
194
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,640
Would you like to
meet your new form now?
195
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,800
Fine.
196
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,400
I'm teaching 2-J?
197
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,000
Putting me in there is like
198
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,200
putting Justin Bieber
on the main stage at Reading.
199
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,520
They'll murder me.
200
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,720
Now, remember,
don't look them in the eye.
201
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,280
Oh, and the smell of urine,
202
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,360
they're just marking
their territory.
203
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,800
As I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death.
204
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,520
♪ I take a look at my life
and realize there's
nothing left ♪
205
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,720
♪ 'Cause I've been laughin'
and blastin' so long that ♪
206
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,920
♪ Even mama thinks
that my mind is gone ♪
207
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,720
I didn't know you
were a Coolio fan?
208
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,920
It's the Bible, Psalms 23.
209
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,280
Whatever,
it's definitely Coolio.
210
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,360
It's a tune though,
give you that.
211
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,400
Oh, forgot to mention,
they're studying this.
212
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,320
Right.
Listen up, you little bastards.
213
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:33,280
Before we begin, I want to
make one thing crystal clear.
214
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,480
I could kick the shit
out of you in a fight.
215
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,400
And don't think that I wouldn't,
216
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:48,680
just because you're smaller
than me and some of you
are little girls.
217
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:49,880
Any questions?
218
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,240
No, thought not.
219
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,760
Beowulf, Chapter One.
220
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,640
In hildy-fildy pildy harque-wun
221
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,800
pur-pon diddly dee di
diddle-um dee didly doom.
222
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,280
[children yelling]
223
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,960
- Six minutes, 17 seconds.
- They're monsters!
224
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,720
They're 11, just think of it
as babysitting.
225
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,320
I'm not a babysitter.
226
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,960
No, no, of course you're not.
They are babysitting you.
227
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,960
I see visions of me dead,
Lord, are you there?
228
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,600
- The Bible?
- Tupac.
229
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,840
- No please!
- [children yelling]
230
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,640
A little orphan looked
up at me and said.
231
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,520
Nicola Berti's been stabbed!
232
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,520
Don't worry, I know first aid.
233
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,200
She's bleeding out
by the school gates.
234
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,960
Go quick, go, go.
235
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,000
Okey dokey,
time for a little chat.
236
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,800
- Is Nicola gonna die?
- Nicola?
237
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:57,000
Oh, no, that was just
something I said to get rid of
Kevin of Nazareth.
238
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,400
- Gullible!
- So, not LOL, sir.
239
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,600
- What's that?
- Mr. Schwimer ran
the New York marathon
240
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,760
to Protect the Rhino.
241
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,760
Protect the Rhino?
[chuckles]
242
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,360
They're basically dinosaurs,
I think they can look
after themselves.
243
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,960
Now, I have been thinking
long and hard about
244
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,480
how I'm gonna get you guys back.
245
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,120
I have considered every
possible option,
246
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,560
and I'm going to need one of you
to say that Kevin touched you.
247
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,160
Little fiddle, anyone?
248
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,920
God, you guys are so square.
249
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,920
Joe? Your new haircut's given
you a kind of choir boy vibe.
250
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,320
- They tend to dig that look?
- No way.
251
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,680
I just want my class back.
252
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,600
What am I gonna do?
253
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,640
Cut and run,
take me to France, sir.
254
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:48,400
Overnight ferry,
shack up in Bordeaux,
let the manhunt begin.
255
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,120
Come and get us, Interpol.
256
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,680
I've got a plan
to get rid of him, sir.
257
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,160
- Shoot.
- Right.
258
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,400
We're gonna need a van,
some cable ties, and an alibi.
259
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,680
Mitchell, we're not re-enacting
your parent's honeymoon
260
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,560
We have to
get rid of Kevin somehow.
261
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,880
He's such a dick.
Isn't he?
262
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:10,440
Well, the thing is, sir,
Mr. Schwimer's actually
pretty rad.
263
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,840
Rad? Who are you?
264
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,480
Look, what has this guy
got, that I haven't?
265
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:16,680
- Timetables.
- Abs.
266
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,360
- Dress sense.
- A penis.
267
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:22,400
Mr. Schwimer went to
college with Ashton Kutcher.
268
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,320
- [sighs]
- So what, give a shit?
269
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,800
I've got celebrity friends too.
270
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:29,720
My friend Atticus Hoye
was on Total Wipeout.
271
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,440
Mr. Schwimer's
a pro skater, sir.
272
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,840
He invented his own trick.
273
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,800
What else has he done,
turned water into wine?
274
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:36,280
He's teetotal.
275
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,160
[scoffs]
Jesus.
276
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,280
As if he
couldn't get any creepier.
277
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,880
Kids, if I can teach you
one thing about life,
278
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,720
never trust a man
that doesn't drink.
279
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,760
Has Kevin just been
peacocking all morning?
280
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,400
I mean, has he actually
taught you anything?
281
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,640
The English kings and queens.
282
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:54,000
All of them?
That's impossible.
283
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,520
♪ Five, Six, Seven, Eight ♪
284
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,960
♪ Willie, Willie, Harry, Stee ♪
285
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,640
♪ Harry, Dick,
John, Harry three ♪
286
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,160
♪ One two three
Neds, Richard two ♪
287
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,800
♪ Harrys four
five, six, then who ♪
288
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,360
♪ Edwards four,
five, Dick the bad ♪
289
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:04,960
♪ Harrys seven,
eight, Ned the lad ♪
290
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,520
♪ Mary, Bessie,
James the vain ♪
291
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,440
♪ Charlie, Charlie,
James again ♪
292
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,800
♪ William, Mary, Anna, Gloria ♪
293
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:11,880
♪ Four Georges,
William, Victoria ♪
294
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,360
♪ Edward seven next, and then ♪
295
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,760
♪ George the fifth in 1910 ♪
296
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,520
♪ Ned the eighth
soon abdicated ♪
297
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,640
♪ Then George the
sixth was coronated ♪
298
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,360
♪ And if you've not
lost your breath ♪
299
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,520
[gasp]
♪ Give a cheer for Elizabeth ♪
300
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,400
[cheers]
301
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,200
Meh.
302
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,440
When would you
actually use that?
303
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,360
I teach you transferable
life skills,
304
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,720
like the rap from the
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
305
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,600
♪ In West Philadelphia,
born and raised ♪
306
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,240
Please, not again.
307
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,880
♪ B-ball...
308
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,680
[groans]
309
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,960
Please help me?
I hate 2-J!
310
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,120
One of them made me
fellate a Pritt Stick.
311
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,320
My mouth's still gluey.
312
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,720
[laughs]
313
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,640
Why don't you
seduce Miss Pickwell?
314
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,920
Flirt your way out of it.
315
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,600
You can practice on me,
if you like?
316
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,160
Please, Chantelle.
317
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,200
I would have to try
literally everything,
318
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,920
before I resorted to
flirting with Pickwell.
319
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,800
Hey, Izz.
320
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,240
You're looking pretty fit today.
321
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,600
How do you get that lovely
natural glow to your skin?
322
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,840
Pumice and bleach.
323
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,360
What do you want?
324
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,800
Just wanted to
ask you a question.
325
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,720
Are you from Tennessee?
326
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,280
'Cause you're the
only ten I see.
327
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,640
Plans tonight?
328
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,800
Me, you, my crib,
329
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,400
turn my onesie into a twosie?
330
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,240
Hey, was your Dad a thief?
331
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,960
No, he was a butcher
in East Kilbride.
332
00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,320
'Cause, he stole the stars
and put them in your eyes.
333
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,680
Was your father a surgeon,
334
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,560
because he stole
the brain of an ape
335
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:10,200
and put it into the body
of a hairy little girl.
336
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:15,200
Come, come, Isobel,
there's no need to be like that.
337
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,000
Silly me.
338
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:24,640
[groan]
339
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,360
Thirty minutes, me on top...
340
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,520
...penetrative.
341
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,320
Those are my terms, Mr. Wickers,
342
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,840
should you wish to screw
your way out of this.
343
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,800
Oh, and biting.
344
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,880
Lots and lots of... biting.
345
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,440
Yo, alpha male.
346
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,800
Hey, you know Kevin DJs?
347
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:34,520
He's coming 'round mine later.
348
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,760
I'm gonna play him
a mash-up I've done
349
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,240
of Chaka Khan and
Chaka Demus and Pliers.
350
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,160
It's called Chaka Chaka
Demus and Khan, are you in?
351
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,400
Oh, God, no I can't.
352
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,000
I've got to get home
tonight and run a bath
353
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,800
to slit my wrists in because
someone gave my class away
354
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,160
to some stupid American that
they've all fallen in love with
355
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,200
and I'm stuck with
shitty, horrible 2-J.
356
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,680
Why have you got a recorder?
357
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,000
Well, I read this article
written by a freelance
358
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,600
pest control expert in Germany.
359
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,680
From what I could gather,
360
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,320
his method for drawing
the rats away
361
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,400
from the villagers was this.
362
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,560
[high pitched recorder]
363
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,840
- The Pied Piper?
- Yea, the Pied Piper,
you know him? Hmm.
364
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,160
Mitchell,
what are you guys doing?
365
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,360
I'm gonna get Emo Elliot
366
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,960
to lend Mr. Schwimer
his skateboard.
367
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,560
Oi, Catch the rugger ball,
Jonathan Wilkinson.
368
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,240
Here, surprise sir,
do us a trick.
369
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,240
I can't, well, no,
I mean, with my knees.
370
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,720
I mean, they're just in
super real bad shape,
371
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,120
you know, after the marathon.
372
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,800
- Don't be a pussy, sir!
- Yeah, go on, sir!
373
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,400
- I bet you're amazing at it.
- I'll do a trick.
374
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,160
Well, yeah, yeah, Mr. Wickers
will do the trick, huh?
375
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,520
- Can you skate?
- Tony Hawk's, intermediate.
376
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,240
Gaming don't make
you a skater, you melt.
377
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,920
Rooney plays FIFA,
so eat a bag of shit
for breakfast, Mitchell.
378
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,400
Just give me the board,
dickhead.
379
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,400
And stand back kids.
This school's insurance policy
doesn't cover blown minds.
380
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,880
Hash-tag this shit
gonna be cray.
381
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,800
This shit gonna be
fifty shades of cray.
382
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,400
[all chanting]
Wickers, Wickers, Wickers!
383
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,840
[groans]
384
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:18,480
- Oh, shit.
- [heavy breathing]
385
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,480
[echoing] You OK, buddy?
386
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,360
Am I dead?
387
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,760
[laughs]
388
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:46,440
Oh, Mother Theresa,
where did it all go wrong?
389
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,840
[air hissing]
390
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,880
Sir?
391
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:59,320
Oh, hey Jing,
where are the others?
392
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,800
Mr Schwimer's friend
from the British museum
lent him some weapons and armor.
393
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,200
They're all outside doing
a Civil War reenactment.
394
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:10,120
Class wars, is nothing sacred?
395
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,240
I need to talk to
you about something.
396
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,400
My Jenga.
397
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,400
Do you remember
when we used this
398
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,880
to run through 9/11
conspiracy theories?
399
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,720
See, still got
the FBI dynamite on it.
400
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:25,800
[gasp] And look, it's all
the Jews that didn't go
into work that day.
401
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,800
Take it,
something to remember me by.
402
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,720
- You're not dying.
- Inside I am, Jing.
403
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:35,200
But it's alright.
I understand.
404
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,280
I have to let you go.
405
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,640
Just promise me this.
406
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,520
Don't ever let that
man patronize you.
407
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,800
[gasp]
Look!
408
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,000
My suffragette glove puppets!
409
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,960
Please give me the vote,
watch out for the horsey!
410
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,400
Listen. Mr. Schwimer
isn't who he says he is.
411
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,360
Jing, I get it:
I'm shitty old Alfie,
412
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:59,000
he's Mr. Perfect,
Good Teeth, Junior the Third.
413
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,800
But he isn't perfect!
414
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:06,640
Look at this photo,
something's not right.
415
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,520
- Look.
- Oh, my God.
416
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,640
The jogger behind
him has a semi.
417
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,280
No, Mr Schwimer.
418
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,840
- Mr Schwimer's got a semi?
- The hand!
419
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:20,000
That's a wedding ring,
and it's a lady's arm.
420
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,480
Mr. Schwimer
isn't married, or a lady.
421
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,760
I knew there was
something wrong with him,
right from the start.
422
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,720
It's his eyes, right?
Too close together.
423
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,160
No, he said he went
to Harvard, California,
424
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,560
but Harvard's in Massachusetts.
425
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,360
And, did you see how reluctant
426
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,960
the pro skater was
in doing a trick?
427
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,560
Why are you helping me, Jing?
428
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,760
Because I love this class.
429
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,600
It's just not the
same without you.
430
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,480
You're an idiot...
431
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,000
...but you're also
a nice, kind man.
432
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,560
Let's destroy
this bastard's life.
433
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,880
It's mash-up time,
dedicated to my new best buddy,
434
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,840
two time Superbowl winning
champion, Mr. Schwimer.
435
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,560
♪ I'm every woman,
It's all in-- ♪
436
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,880
♪ If I ever tell you
'bout Maxine, you only say ♪
437
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,440
♪ I don't know
what I know, but ♪
438
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,800
♪ Murder she wrote,
murder, murder ♪
439
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,800
♪ Every woman, it's-- ♪
440
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,240
[reggae]
441
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:18,720
♪ I know this little girl,
her name is Maxine ♪
442
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,000
♪ Murder ♪
443
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,600
And one of my ancestors,
444
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,400
actually fought in the
battle of Agincourt.
445
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,440
- Oi, Kevin!
- Yo, G.
446
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,280
Mr. Wickers to you, mate.
447
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,440
It's time you confessed.
448
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:30,840
Let me see your arms.
449
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,240
My arms?
450
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:36,480
[laughs] Oh, mi lud,
stick a shilling up me chuffer.
451
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,840
This is another one of your dry,
British irony jokes, right?
452
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,680
Stop trying to rape
Mr. Schwimer, sir.
453
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,320
Shut up, Mitchell!
454
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,720
- Are those your arms?
- Yes.
455
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,760
They look pretty
feminine to me.
456
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,240
I have slim arms.
457
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:56,400
- Slim, hairless,
married ladies' arms?
- Yes.
458
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,840
Oh, funny that, 'cause
didn't you win a gold medal
459
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,120
in the Olympic rowing, right?
460
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:01,160
Um...
461
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,200
[buzzer]
The US team won bronze,
462
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,520
and you weren't in it.
463
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:06,840
I don't even
remember saying that.
464
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,440
You're not a pro skater,
or a DJ.
465
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,400
Oh, and that horrible
war in Malawi.
466
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,840
Don't bring the war into
this, you weren't there, man!
467
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,880
No, I wasn't, no one was.
468
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,760
Because there wasn't
civil war in Malawi.
469
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,360
You're a pathological liar.
470
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,800
So, come on Kevin, what have
you got to say for yourself?
471
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,360
Spit it out, we're all ears.
472
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,000
Sure, I exaggerate a bit.
473
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,520
But, I didn't mean
to hurt anyone.
474
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,160
I just wanted you to like me.
475
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:42,560
Oh, God, a teacher craving
his pupils' approval.
476
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:46,120
Pathetic, go on, piss off.
477
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,840
So it was all lies?
478
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,360
You never won the Superbowl?
479
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:52,560
- You don't know Ashton?
- I'll never meet Demi.
480
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:57,200
It's all fake. The stories,
the Harvard education,
481
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,120
this stupid plastic armor.
482
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,720
[clink]
483
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,680
Yea, these shitty
little toy guns.
484
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,000
Please be careful,
those are actually antique!
485
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,000
Ooh, my name's Kevin, I've got
a buddy at a British Museum!
486
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,440
- [gun fires]
- [screams]
487
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,120
- Oh, dear.
- Ow!
488
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,360
Are you insane?
489
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:18,120
They weren't
supposed to be fired!
490
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:21,160
You shot him in
the arse, brilliant!
491
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,520
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
492
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,840
Don't worry, Joe,
it's just a little flesh wound.
493
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,600
Help, help,
someone go and get help.
494
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,280
Does anyone know first aid?
495
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,840
- I do.
- Really?
496
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,960
- No.
- Oh, Jesus!
497
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,880
Sir, you're meant to
suck the bullet out.
498
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,520
No, you idiot,
you're meant to piss on it.
499
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,880
That's jellyfish, you tit!
500
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,480
Wait, that is jellyfish, right?
501
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,520
- Lie on your front.
- No, no Jing, it's fine,
502
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:43,920
I'll do it,
I'm desperate anyway.
503
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:44,920
No, sir!
504
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,960
Oh. Joe, just a quick one.
505
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,440
You know the way your mum's
not like a massive fan of mine,
506
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,600
if she asks about this,
she might not,
507
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,960
could you maybe tell her
that you sat on the bullet?
508
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,920
- [groans]
- Wrong moment.
509
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,400
Help, help!
510
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,400
Sir literally gave him
a new arse hole.
511
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,520
Why is no one coming?
Pass me the other gun!
512
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:05,760
Gonna put him
out of his misery, sir?
513
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,800
No, distress signal
514
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,200
[gun fires]
515
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,400
[screech]
516
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,680
Oh, shit, Rumsfeld!
517
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,400
Shit, shit, shit!
518
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,480
Please don't be dead,
please don't be dead.
519
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,720
One two, one two.
Come on, Rumsfeld.
520
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,200
Don't fly towards the light.
521
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,360
- Pickwell's coming.
- [Pickwell] Oh, no!
522
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,360
Right, if anyone asks,
Kevin fired the guns.
523
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:38,920
[all agreeing]
524
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,640
- That's a lie!
- Is it a lie,
or am I just exaggerating?
525
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,560
- My baby.
- I heard gun shots!
526
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,480
The man of steel,
he's here to say the day!
527
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,920
[sobbing]
528
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,600
- Are you OK, sweetheart?
- My bum hurts.
529
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:55,920
Not for the first time.
530
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,440
Keep pressure on the wound.
531
00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,480
What have you done?
532
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,680
It wasn't him, Miss Gulliver.
I fired the gun by mistake.
533
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,520
See, you told me my kids
wouldn't take a bullet
for me, but...
534
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,000
Joe's a hero, miss.
535
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,640
He threw his arse in
front of the bullet.
536
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,680
Yeah, his bottom was like
Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard.
537
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,760
Forget about the boy! Rumsfeld!
538
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,480
This man has lied
about everything,
539
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,480
except for the bit
about shooting Joe.
540
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:24,840
I'm a fraud.
541
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,840
What about my mash-ups,
you said you liked them?
542
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,880
- I didn't really.
- You're dead to me.
543
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,400
When we confronted him,
he freaked out,
turned the gun on Joe.
544
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,800
And then he reloaded
to shoot your pigeon.
545
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,680
I have a problem,
I can't help lying.
546
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:42,800
I say one thing
and then it just spirals.
547
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,320
I'm not even from America,
I'm from Birmingham.
548
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,840
Not even Birmingham
actually, Dudley.
549
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:51,640
Near Tipton,
you know, off the A4123.
550
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,000
Sorry, everyone. Now I've been
honest, can we be buddies?
551
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,800
I've got a jet pack, I flew
to France on it, all the way.
552
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,400
[makes engine sound]
553
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:01,440
Do you wanna have a go?
554
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,280
I'll have a go.
555
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,160
He's lying again, isn't he?
556
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,920
If you ever set foot
on these premises again,
557
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,440
I will personally send you
back to Dudley, piece by piece.
558
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,280
Starting with these.
559
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:20,400
[high pitched squeal]
560
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,000
Does this mean we
get Mr. Wickers back?
561
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,840
- I think it does.
- [cheering]
562
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,520
That's right, kids,
daddy's back for good.
563
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,680
And I will never, ever let
you get put in danger again,
564
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:36,880
because I am here to
protect you, children.
565
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,800
23rd of October, 1942.
566
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,520
The tank battle of El-Alamein.
567
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,600
Rommel, ready?
568
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,320
Monty, ready?
569
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,600
Three, two, one!
570
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:52,560
- [whistle blow]
- [yelling]
571
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,160
[loud thud]
572
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:57,920
[Alfie] Oh, fuck.