1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,680
Class K, do yourselves proud.
We cannot afford any mistakes.

2
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,080
Break a nail.

3
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,200
Pressure
by Ari Lennox

4
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:21,360
Er, Blessing! There's a time
and place for learning.

5
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,760
This is not it.

6
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,480
Sir, Hoburn keeps vexing us
about these mock exams.

7
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,920
Ugh. Mocks, schmocks.

8
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,560
Do you think I got to
where I am today by passing exams?

9
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,920
No, I don't.

10
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,960
That's why I cannot lie,
I have been revising all weekend.

11
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,280
Me too, innit? I haven't
been on socials for 48 hours.

12
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,640
My followers filed
a missing person's!

13
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,840
Hoburn is just showing off
to her little friends at Ofsted.

14
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,680
No, but I don't want to fail!

15
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,240
I want to live my best
Forbes 30 Under 30 life

16
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,920
and leave you wastemen biting dust!

17
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,160
Children!

18
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:56,480
In my class, you learn how to effect
real change in the world, hmm?

19
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,160
Now continue stoning my bra.

20
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,760
Sir, why were you blacklisted from
every single gay bar in the country?

21
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,800
Huh? Don't overexaggerate.

22
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,000
Sir, you can be a bit of a diva.

23
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,200
And?

24
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,760
Have I taught you lot anything?

25
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,760
Usma, what is the definition
of a diva?

26
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,400
A diva is a female version...

27
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,600
# ..of a hustla!

28
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,360
# Of a, of a... #
Wait...

29
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,520
Correct.

30
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,800
And, Harrison, what am I doing
at drag brunch today?

31
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,840
Hustlin'.

32
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:22,960
Correct.

33
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,640
As much as I love you guys,
this is a big opportunity for me.

34
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,560
There's going to be some producers
there today

35
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,200
scouting for a new show -
Britain's Got Fierce Bitches.

36
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:36,240
Ooh! And this is my last chance
to audition.

37
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,560
Stephanie Fierce is ready to be
booked and blessed.

38
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:42,360
When I Grow Up
by The Pussycat Dolls

39
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:49,680
Aah!

40
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,080
In! Come on, in!

41
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,760
And what on earth is going on here?

42
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,440
Are you going somewhere?

43
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,440
No. Why?

44
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,560
Perhaps this might jog your memory.

45
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,320
"It might interest you to know

46
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,000
"Stephen is taking his class
on a field trip."

47
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,840
Ah...!

48
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,320
ALL LAUGH
Oh!

49
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,880
It's the trip - it's the trip.

50
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,840
Um... Care to explain yourself?

51
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,920
Mm...

52
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:30,160
Can I just say this animal print
is so not a bit of you,

53
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,360
but it's wildly working.

54
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,800
It's like you've ditched
your Aunt Lydia look

55
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,000
and you're giving a bit more...
Carole Baskin. Rarr!

56
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,240
There is a rigid protocol when it
comes to planning educational trips.

57
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,880
Did you ask for permission?

58
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,440
Um...

59
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,440
Did I?

60
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,640
Yeah.

61
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,480
Yeah, I wrote this note.

62
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,120
It's how I write all of my letters.

63
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,640
It's very, very, very time consuming
but it's so worth it.

64
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,440
It's giving, like, Vivienne Westwood,
you know, like youth danger.

65
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,360
So you talk about yourself
in the third person?

66
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,400
You know what
Stephen Carmichael is like. His...

67
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,960
His ego is out of control.

68
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,600
The note was my way of asking you
for permission...

69
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:05,760
Mm-hm.

70
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:11,560
..to let us explore the wonderfully
enriching cultural hub that is Soho.

71
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:12,720
Soho!

72
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,800
Oh, I was on the board of directors
for a theatre in Soho.

73
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:16,880
Cute.

74
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:22,040
Oversaw its demolition
brick by brick to make way for...

75
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,560
..M&M World.

76
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:25,960
Cute.

77
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,080
So, um...

78
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,120
..good to go?

79
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,440
No.

80
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,640
And I cannot believe you would pull
a stunt like this

81
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,680
on the day we're receiving
a visit from Ofsted.

82
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,040
The inspector will be here
any minute.

83
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,840
Back to your classroom! Immediately!

84
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,040
Sir, I can call the drag brunch?

85
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,240
It's too late.
I've missed the audition.

86
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,080
So when I find out who's dobbed me in
with this note...

87
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,400
..it's over.

88
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:32,160
KOREAN NURSERY RHYME PLAYS

89
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,560
ELECTRONIC WHIRRING

90
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,000
SHE SCREAMS

91
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,800
Mitchell!

92
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,280
Ha, you're dead!
HE LAUGHS

93
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,120
You all right?

94
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,200
They're playing
for a £1 scratchcard.

95
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,760
I call it Quid Games.

96
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,360
The winner goes through to
a tug of war over the septic tank.

97
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,360
Oh. Want a go? Oh, yeah, sure.

98
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,440
Yeah?

99
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,120
No, you idiot, of course not.

100
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,640
I need a word.

101
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,840
Kids, guess what time it is!

102
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,440
Sleepy-byes time.

103
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,760
Yes! And what's our number one rule?

104
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,160
Don't wake up before the bell.

105
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,520
Yes. Off you go!

106
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,040
Ah-ha! My proteges!

107
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,560
What's the tea?
No tea, thank you, Mrs Potts.

108
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,200
Well, I just wanted to flag that
we've had a small outbreak of...

109
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,160
Oh, my God! They're all...

110
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,640
Sleeping, Fraser, so, like... Shh.

111
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,960
Thank the Lord Sugar.

112
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,560
We've had a breakout
of the good old norovirus.

113
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,240
Noro-what? It's like a retro Covid

114
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,840
that wants to leave the building
via any exit -

115
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,000
or entrance, depending
on which way you look at it.

116
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,560
Eww.
Both my kitchen staff are off sick.

117
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,360
I don't know what to do. I can't
feed the whole school on my tod.

118
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,720
I'm not Jesus of Ladzareth.

119
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,400
Just hire a task rabbit.

120
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,960
I do it all the time when I can't
be arsed to mark papers. Mm.

121
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,640
I hired one for
parents' evening once.

122
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,480
Task rabbit. Leg-ends.

123
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,160
Laters, potaters. See ya.

124
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,120
Still got your lockpicking kit?

125
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,640
Does Katie Price sleep on her back?

126
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,680
Mm!

127
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,320
Right... Ooh, child.

128
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,680
What? Do you know,
Joop is not a deodorant by the way.

129
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,160
Hmm? What?

130
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,480
What's wrong with Joop?

131
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,160
Look, this don't feel right.

132
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,880
You can't just go
breaking into their lockers.

133
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,040
Can I help you Mr Seaman?

134
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,400
I thought not.

135
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,480
Bye!

136
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,280
What have they actually done then?

137
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,200
STEPHEN GASPS

138
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,480
Ah-ha!

139
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:32,800
Ah, a notebook!

140
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,400
Ah, not just a notebook!

141
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,960
An A4 lined notebook,
just like the one used to rat me out.

142
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,240
Yeah.
We've all got notebooks, you muppet.

143
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,880
What do you mean, rat you out?

144
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:43,960
STEPHEN GROWLS

145
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,400
Come on.

146
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,960
Ugh!

147
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,360
Basically, I should be
in Soho right now

148
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,440
performing in front of drag royalty,

149
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,000
but one of my class sent
an anonymous tip-off to Hoburn

150
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,520
so now we have to interrogate
the little cretins

151
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,760
until one of them cracks.

152
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,480
I don't think they'd grass
on you, mate.

153
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,200
Them kids are well all right.
Mitchell, please.

154
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,680
You're like a brother to me.

155
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,120
Well, actually, you're more like
a weird cousin

156
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,720
that you try to avoid at weddings,
but that means something.

157
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,440
I really need your help with this.

158
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,160
All right, fine.

159
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,880
Let's not go OTT, yeah?

160
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,120
No.

161
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:20,920
Ah!

162
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,240
We'll break them psychologically.
Let's assign roles.

163
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,680
Roles? Yeah. Well, I'll be good cop.
All right, so I'll be...

164
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,600
Ah-ah, no. That's too obvious.
You be good cop, I'll be ratchet cop.

165
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,440
You sure you got
the range for that, darling?

166
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,640
I spent the first ten years
of my life playing it straight.

167
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:34,880
Just you wait.

168
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,280
Dunk!

169
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,120
PHONE BUZZES
Denied!

170
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,280
Booyakasha! He's here!

171
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:48,760
If only Tinder worked this quick,
and I wasn't permanently banned.

172
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,720
This lad knows
what I'm talking about.

173
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,360
Oh, I'm so sorry.

174
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,160
Nobody told me you were here.

175
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,400
Oh, I should've guessed
you'd be an early bird.

176
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,760
If you're on time,
you're late, I always say.

177
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,800
Bernadette Hoburn,
the new headmistress.

178
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,080
Shall we take the tour?

179
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,400
I imagine you'll want to inspect
the improvements

180
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,760
that I've already made here.

181
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,800
Well, I'm just here
to clean up the school.

182
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,080
Great minds!

183
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,720
Shall we start in my office?

184
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,320
MIMICS FANFARE

185
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,040
My knight in shining tank-top!

186
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,480
MIMICS HORSE

187
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:48,120
Greetings, Sir Galalad, Bantany
Worrall-Thompson at your service.

188
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,360
Hello, Mr Fraser.
We've had a smidge of norovirus.

189
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,160
The latest victims, Pavel and Edna,

190
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,000
are currently tag-teaming
the throne in the staffroom.

191
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,920
Pavel's mouth, Edna's south.

192
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,840
Ugly scenes.
Hence my little rabbit.

193
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,320
Ah, taking notes already,
smashing it, leg-end!

194
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,240
Would you like to see
my chamber of horrors?

195
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,840
Yes.

196
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,840
Lead the way.

197
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,240
Oh, I should check,
have you got life insurance?

198
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,720
Now this next experiment
is very dangerous,

199
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,560
so I want you all to be
very sensible and...

200
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,320
Excuse me, Mr Carmichael,
you can't come in...

201
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,600
Ah-ah-ah!
Oh, I think you'll find I can.

202
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,960
Unless you want me to spill the tea
on what really went down

203
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,200
at the Christmas party with Mr...
Oh, my goodness, is that the time?

204
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,240
I must dash to my next class.

205
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,480
Bye, now.

206
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,080
Bye, Miss Mollinson!

207
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,240
Someone in this class
has stabbed me in the back,

208
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,000
thereby destroying my chance
at stardom.

209
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,360
But the question is who,
what, where, when and why?

210
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,320
Sir, I can assure you
that none of us would...

211
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,920
Silence, you maggot!
You'll have your turn.

212
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,600
You'll all have your turn.

213
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,320
Nah, man. I ain't saying nuttin'
till I get my lawyer.

214
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,640
Pigs!

215
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,880
Watch your mouth, little boy!

216
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,280
All right, keep your hair on.

217
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,040
Well, he could've said
a more flattering animal.

218
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,800
Doing good cop, bad cop, yeah?
Interesting.

219
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,400
Who's who, then?

220
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,040
Don't play games with us, Missy.

221
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,280
Obvi I'm bad cop.

222
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,880
Really?
Cos I wasn't getting that vibe.

223
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,320
It's giving Chuckle Brothers.

224
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,640
Really? To who? To me.
To you? To me, haha!

225
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,080
Shut up. Fine. Let's swap roles.

226
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,800
We know you've got a secret...
OK, I confess.

227
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,200
I still eat avocados.

228
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,640
And there's more - when I was eight,

229
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,440
I got my hair braided
on a beach in Majorca,

230
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,280
and I know it's wrong
but it looked so good.

231
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,080
Oh, God...

232
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,760
Please don't think me a monster.

233
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,000
Warren, my darling,
just tell us the truth

234
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,840
and, whatever happens,
we're here for you.

235
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,680
Bravo, Mr Carmichael.

236
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,840
Such a nuanced portrayal
of a manipulative false friend.

237
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,880
I really felt betrayed.

238
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,680
Oi. What about me?

239
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:53,880
Um...

240
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,240
Your gormless sidekick routine
felt a bit one-note.

241
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,280
Purr.

242
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,480
Look, I'm sorry you didn't
get your moment, yeah, sir,

243
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,720
but don't try Tyra Banks me.
I'm not the one.

244
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,400
You think I got time to worry
about anybody else but numbero uno?

245
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,400
It took all my mental capacity to
get my wings straight this morning.

246
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,440
Like, I can't be expected
to hold down good grades

247
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,280
and be a badarse bitch
every single day.

248
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,080
It's too much! I give up.

249
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:15,120
Wait, um...

250
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,080
..what was the question again?

251
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,040
Careful scrubbing so hard.

252
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:27,040
You're quite close
to some lead paint there.

253
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,560
How exactly did your staff
get sick, Mr Fraser?

254
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,840
No idea. I call them the Wuhan gang

255
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,720
because they're always cooking up
diseases I've never heard of.

256
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,920
What's that you're making?

257
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,520
Ah, we're very frugal here.

258
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,520
Lumpy milk -
sieve out of the liquid,

259
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,000
dip it in some sealing wax
from art class and, bam -

260
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,280
artisanal Babybels.

261
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,280
Oh... You think that's gross?

262
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,760
You should see how
I make the Dairylea triangles.

263
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,160
Oh...what a flop!

264
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,760
Can't you just drop it?

265
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:54,960
If they did tell on ya,

266
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,440
I'm sure it was just because
they wanted to get some work done.

267
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,320
Oh, please. The only way
Mr Wickers to get us to concentrate

268
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,320
was playing Class Wars. Mm.

269
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:04,360
Wait...

270
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,840
We won't crack this using history.

271
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:13,000
We need to take inspiration from
one of the most cunning detectives

272
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,840
in the herstory of crime.

273
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,280
Miss Marple.

274
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,520
Coleen Rooney.

275
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,520
Let's plant a different rumour
with each student.

276
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,280
Whoever spills the Bacardi
is our Rebekah Vardy.

277
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,320
THEY CHUCKLE

278
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,080
Really? Honestly.

279
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,000
Are you joking? Really. 100%? 100.
Shut up.

280
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,200
So, hang on a minute,

281
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,320
Mr Seaman is having an affair
with Brokeback Barry?

282
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,440
Ain't he got a wife?

283
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,280
Oh! Um, excuse me, lady.

284
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,680
No-one loves an eavesdrop.

285
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,480
If you heard things
that are confidential

286
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:47,120
about certain members of staff, you
are obliged to keep it to yourself.

287
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,920
Oh, sir, I pinkie promise.

288
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,240
My lips are...

289
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,880
Oh, my God!

290
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,920
Talk later.

291
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,080
Oi! Someone broke into my locker!

292
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,080
Yeah - we've just seen Miss Hoburn
picking the lock. What?

293
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,600
Nah, I just saw her running to the
science labs with that inspector.

294
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,600
Yeah, but have you ever wondered

295
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,920
how she can be in
so many different places at once?

296
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,160
Doubles.

297
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,640
You know, like the little
Rocket Man geezer from North Korea.

298
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,920
Parent Trap vibes.

299
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,640
Mum's the word, though, yeah?

300
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,480
The sheeple can't handle the truth.

301
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,240
Oh! Inchez!

302
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,920
Let Poor Mitchell have a bounce
about, will you? He needs some joy.

303
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,120
Yeah, safe. What's up, sir?

304
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,080
The producers of Naked Attraction
just called.

305
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,440
They're about to cut me episode.

306
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,040
Let's just say he got a little bit
excited, if you catch my drift.

307
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,280
Ohhh! Shh!

308
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,760
Keep it to yourself, yeah?

309
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,880
Oh, yeah, swear.

310
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,760
I swear I'm not going to
tell a soul, sir.

311
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,320
They did say it was one of the
biggest they'd ever seen, though.

312
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,360
Ah, come on, sir. Haha!

313
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:58,760
GLASS SHATTERS

314
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,480
That was Mr Seaman's car.

315
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:01,680
Oh, well.

316
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,280
So moral of the story -

317
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,920
do not, under any circumstances,
eat the Dairylea triangles.

318
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,240
Warren, my darling,

319
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,560
I need you to update my IMDb profile
for me, please.

320
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:18,080
Can you add, "Soon to be playing
Flying Monkey Number Three

321
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,560
"in the new Wicked movie?"

322
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,280
Wow, wow! Congrats.

323
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,840
Shh! Top secret.

324
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,120
I signed an NDA.

325
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,680
But, sir, anyone
can see your IMDb... Mm!

326
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,920
Run along, now.

327
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,200
Child...

328
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,520
Oh, Jinx...

329
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,360
Yah!
HE COUGHS

330
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,480
I have pepper spray!

331
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,720
No, just relax, all right?

332
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,440
I'm not trying to catch you
or any other girl students.

333
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,040
Oh, my God, though, good shot,
to be fair, it was quality.

334
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,560
Koukanka.

335
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,480
Look, Jinx, I really need your help.

336
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,280
I bought some eggs off this geezer
down the covered market.

337
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,000
Turns out they ain't chickens.
One of them's hatched

338
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,760
and I've followed the trail
from the egg to this bathroom.

339
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,120
What, you mean there are...?

340
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,520
Ah-ah! Keep it to yourself!
Don't tell everyone.

341
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,280
It's between me and you. Don't want
to scare all the other kids.

342
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,480
Scout's honour.

343
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,120
Harrison.

344
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,520
This ain't to go any further,
all right, but geezer to geezer...

345
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,560
Mm?

346
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,000
I can't say it!

347
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,440
Basically, um, Mollinson's dead.

348
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,440
We had to store her in a freezer
until an ambulance is available.

349
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,760
Oh, my God!

350
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,720
Yeah, but we need your help
to move the body

351
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,760
because you're the strongest one
out of all of us

352
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,000
and she's just had her lunch.

353
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,400
Poor Miss Mollinson...

354
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,040
I know...

355
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,480
MITCHELL WAILS

356
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,120
Er, you don't
possess the talent to improvise.

357
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,880
Mate, this acting lark's
a piece of piss.

358
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,480
Don't know why you make it
look so hard.

359
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,280
Murder She Wrote Song
by Chaka Demus & Pliers

360
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,560
Service!

361
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,560
You lying BASTARD!

362
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,440
Stop, stop!

363
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,720
Ah!

364
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,440
Mrs Seaman, I presume.

365
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,480
I know who ratted me out.

366
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,160
It was Usma.

367
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,080
Oh, sir, I pinkie promise.

368
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,600
My lips are...

369
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,440
Usma has betrayed my trust
for the last time.

370
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,040
She's got to be the rat.

371
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,960
Er... Wagwan?

372
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,640
Snakes in the girls' loos.

373
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:48,040
Luckily, I have a spare key
to the disabled toilet.

374
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,800
Oi, pound.

375
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,000
There's not one rat, there's two.

376
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,280
Usma...and Jinx?

377
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,680
Those trifling hos...

378
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,120
Eeeh! Sir!

379
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,000
I'm so gagged you're going to
be in the new Wicked movie.

380
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,520
Can you ask Ariana Grande
to come to school?

381
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,960
That would be so lit!
Ooh, and Cynthia!

382
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,040
Ooh, um...

383
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,000
What in the Emerald City?!

384
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,160
Get me out of here!
All right, all right, calm down!

385
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,600
THEY LAUGH
My man got excited. Yeah, yeah.

386
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,960
Mr Seaman.

387
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,160
All right, Hoburn.

388
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,640
Are you the body double?
You ain't even a realistic one.

389
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,320
Your nose is huge!

390
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,400
Oh, my bad, you are the real one!

391
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,080
Right, everyone,
start clearing the canteen.

392
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,440
I could...

393
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,920
I could wipe the floors with them.

394
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,800
You're relentless. I see that.

395
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,880
Well, perhaps
we can work something out.

396
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,160
Out! You silly twat!

397
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,720
Er, Mr Harper!

398
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,480
Are you not ashamed of yourself?

399
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,840
Are you not embarrassed?

400
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,520
Because going on that show
is really embarrassing!

401
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,720
What the hell is going on?

402
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,400
What are you going to do now?

403
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,240
Untangle the web.

404
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,600
I can only apologise
for the chaos in the canteen.

405
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,920
As a man in your position,

406
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,360
you must want to just
put us out of our misery.

407
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,120
Yeah. I'd like to do that. Yes.

408
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:14,040
I mean, there must be something
I can do to reassure you

409
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,120
I'm an enormously safe
pair of hands.

410
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,120
Yeah, they do look quite big,
don't they?

411
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,640
Yes. I thought I saw you
sizing them up.

412
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,880
Well, I'm a woman of the world,
so if that's what it takes

413
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,560
to get this school
out of special measures...

414
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,400
So be it.

415
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,480
Would you prefer to stand or sit?

416
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,880
Thank y'all
for joining me.

417
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,080
Colonel Mustard...

418
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,640
..Mrs Peacock...

419
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,200
..Professor Plum...

420
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,800
..Miss Scarlett...

421
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,040
..Rev Green, and Mrs White.

422
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,800
Why do I have to be Mrs White?

423
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,080
This bowtie's going to choke me.

424
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,120
Death by penguin suit. Shh!

425
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,400
Do you not think you're
taking this a little bit too far?

426
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,360
You haven't seen nothing yet.

427
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,880
Y'all really had me fooled.

428
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,400
I was running round the school
trying to find the culprit

429
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,840
who forged this slip!

430
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:19,240
I was looking for one culprit,
when, in fact, you're all snakes!

431
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,320
ALL PROTEST

432
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,760
Don't deny it!

433
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:27,480
None of you could hold a fart,
let alone a secret.

434
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,880
And to think
you almost sabotaged my shot

435
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,840
at getting back in the big time.

436
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,800
When you say "back"
in the big time...

437
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,960
Silence!

438
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,680
That audition was my last chance

439
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,240
to win back the respect
of the drag community!

440
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:43,960
Jinx.

441
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,360
You're an unseasoned,
boot-cut begging bitch.

442
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,200
Oh...

443
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,360
Inchez, the closest you've ever been
to the hood is your daddy's Volvo.

444
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,080
Blessing?

445
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,800
More like a curse.

446
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:56,920
Grrr.

447
00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,000
Harrison, you're so dumb that
when your mum said it was chilly out,

448
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,680
you ran outside with a spoon.

449
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,960
Usma, your wings ain't straight.

450
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,280
They ain't ever been straight.

451
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,760
Et tu, Warren.

452
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,240
New class nickname alert.

453
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,560
Trash K!

454
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,960
Mm, is...

455
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,560
..is that...

456
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,000
..Joop?!

457
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,280
They've also spelt Stephen wrong.

458
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,760
Like we'd miss that!

459
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,840
You had us in detention
signing your head shots.

460
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,720
Yeah. You said the upper echelon
of Stephen spell it with a P-H

461
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,920
and that only low-lives
spell it with a V.

462
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,160
Facts.

463
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,040
How could I have been so blind?

464
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,800
There's only one low-life
I know personally

465
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,600
who would wear such a basic scent.

466
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,520
HINGES SQUEAK

467
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,040
We all have those
notebooks, you muppet...

468
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,720
Joop is not a deodorant,
by the way...

469
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,480
The butler did it.

470
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,480
What are you doing?
All right, soldier?

471
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,680
You lock and load the dishwasher,
I'll throw every...

472
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,000
I don't think so, Mr Fraser.

473
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,560
Geoffrey Pruitt, Ofsted Inspector.

474
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,480
This school is finished.

475
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,600
Please, Mr Inspector,
I'll do anything.

476
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,040
This school is my life.
My cousin works at London Zoo -

477
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,560
he'll let you shoot the panda!

478
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,400
Bribery won't work with me.

479
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,480
This is entrapment!
You've tricked me!

480
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,560
I'm surprised you didn't
recognise me, Mr Fraser.

481
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,480
This is my seventh visit
to Abbey Grove.

482
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,720
Do you really not remember me?

483
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,640
2017, Santa's exploding sack.

484
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,840
ALARMS BLARING, PANICKED SHOUTS

485
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,120
2016, the Leonard Cohen
Memorial Dance-Off.

486
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:49,840
# Dance me to your beauty
with a burning violin

487
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,760
# Dance me through the panic... #

488
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,400
Nothing? Nope.

489
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,800
Good heavens.

490
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,400
Nothing you say can persuade...
No! No! No, no, no, no, no.

491
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,360
Fraser! What is going on?

492
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:05,800
I could ask you the same thing.

493
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,400
This is the Ofsted inspector.

494
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,560
We're having
"an important conversation".

495
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,680
This could be the difference between
"poor" and "good".

496
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,880
That's not the inspector. What?

497
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,760
Geoffrey Pruitt, Ofsted inspector.

498
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,200
You're not. Are you?

499
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,880
Well, then, who are you?

500
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,800
Dave. Scrubbers4U.

501
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,080
Fraser! What have you done?

502
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,640
I needed some help in the kitchen
so I ordered a task rabbit.

503
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,800
I think there's been
a teeny weeny mix-up. You think?!

504
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,720
You mean the actual Ofsted inspector
has been working in your kitchen

505
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,840
while I've been tugging off
this rabbit?!

506
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,040
I think I've seen
and heard quite enough.

507
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:45,360
THAT GIRL
by Bree Runway

508
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,000
No! Oh, inspector!

509
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,080
Inspector! Oh...

510
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,960
Come with me.

511
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,720
Mitchell!

512
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,760
Mitchell!

513
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,720
Mitchell! I'll kill him!

514
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,840
Mr Pruitt, please. If we could just
go back to my office,

515
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,480
I'm sure we could iron things out.

516
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,720
I also do ironing! Geoffrey, please!

517
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,200
I've seen how you iron things out.

518
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,320
Unfortunately you're barking
up the wrong tree.

519
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,080
Once I present my report
to the authorities,

520
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,880
they will make the final decision
about Abbey Grove.

521
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,920
HORN BEEPS

522
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:30,320
Mitchell! Mr Carmichael! Get
your class back inside right now!

523
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:31,640
Mitchell! You snake!

524
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,480
I'm sorry for dobbing you in,
all right?

525
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,160
But I've got a surprise
to make it up to ya.

526
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,880
Nothing you do
could make me forgive you.

527
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,200
You betrayed me,
and do you know what hurts the most?

528
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,160
After all these years, you don't even
know how to spell my damn name!

529
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,120
Look! Now is not the time.

530
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,880
Mr Carmichael, get your class
back inside right now!

531
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,000
Oi, Magic Mike!

532
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,520
Does this dump have a toilet?

533
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,240
If I don't get these queens
to one soon,

534
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,720
you're going to get exploding tucks
all over your seats.

535
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,880
Oh... Oh, hello.

536
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,400
Where the hell's this?

537
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,520
You couldn't go to the gig,

538
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,400
so I thought I'd bring
the after party to you.

539
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,760
It's amazing what the promise
of some free plonk will do.

540
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,840
Who's the sexy square sausage?

541
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,360
Geoffrey Pruitt, Ofsted Inspector.

542
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,480
What's going on?

543
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,640
Er...

544
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,360
It's parents' evening, so I thought
I'd give some of the mums a lift,

545
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:21,000
you know, what with fuel prices
being what they are at the moment.

546
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,960
Right. We like to do our bit
for the community

547
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,880
here at Abbey Grove, don't we?
Mm-hm. Yeah.

548
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,840
Yes! See, this is my mum.

549
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,960
Oh! OK, big boy, watch the hair.

550
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,800
This...This is my mum.

551
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,040
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my mum.

552
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,440
That's my mum!

553
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,280
And that's my son!

554
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,880
Mum!

555
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,440
I came to surprise you in Soho,

556
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:43,600
but you never showed, so I thought,
when in Rome! Aww!

557
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:44,720
Bruv!

558
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,520
How does he shave
so close to the grain?

559
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,800
I don't wish to rain on this parade,

560
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,640
but sadly I do actually know
what a drag queen is,

561
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,400
and this really
isn't fooling anyone.

562
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,280
Nothing's going to dissuade me
from informing the authorities

563
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,480
and showing them my report. Nothing.

564
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,640
Wait, where the fuck am I?

565
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,800
Hey, Danny Dyer -
where's the liquor?

566
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,240
Told you I had a surprise for ya!

567
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,240
Bianca Del Rio!

568
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,440
OMG, OM... Oh...

569
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,760
I'm your number one fan.

570
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,360
Read me, please, come on!

571
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,760
Make me feel worthless!

572
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,640
Er, what the hell is this?

573
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,760
I don't believe I signed up
for a free meet and greet!

574
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,600
Who is responsible for this freak?

575
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,080
Actually, that's my mother!

576
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,840
I ain't your mama, bitch!

577
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,920
Sorry, what is happening here?

578
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,240
I think you'll find drag
has saved the day.

579
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,960
ALL CHEER

580
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,640
Well, thank God!

581
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,200
Which one of you is Drag?

582
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,240
Levitating
by Dua Lipa

583
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,040
What's your favourite episode
of Drag Race?

584
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,120
I know you weren't in
the most recent All Stars...

585
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:53,800
Lips? Gorgeous.
Foundation, gorgeous.

586
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,040
Eyebrows... Yeah?

587
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,760
Too much. A bit too much, harsh,
harsh. Oh... I'd rather talk to you.

588
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,560
OK, so my name's Jinx.
Do you like...?

589
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:01,280
Nah, actually I'd rather
talk to you. Yes!

590
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,600
So what you've got to do is,
start off light...

591
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:07,760
All right?

592
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,000
Look, I'm really sorry that
I reported you to Hoburn

593
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,920
and almost sabotaged your career.
It was bang out of order.

594
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:14,960
Why'd you do it?

595
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,240
Well, Blessing and that lot
have been freaking out

596
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,400
about these mock exams -

597
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,040
and you know that kid, Stinky Steve?

598
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,080
He's been held back
for over a decade

599
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,040
because he keeps failing
those exams.

600
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,360
I didn't want that
to happen to our kids!

601
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:29,800
Mitchell, Steve's not been held back.

602
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,280
He's just tall.

603
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,520
Oh.

604
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,000
That makes more sense.

605
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,200
Huh.

606
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,640
Well, I should've spoken to you
instead of sneaking around.

607
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,440
I'm really sorry. Hmm.

608
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:40,680
Don't worry.

609
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,400
To be fair,
I probably wouldn't have listened.

610
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,440
You know what I'm like.

611
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:50,080
Tomorrow we'll take the plastic
off the textbooks, but right now...

612
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,160
Hmm!

613
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,320
..I've got a performance to slay.

614
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,120
Are you nervous? Oh, sweetie.

615
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:57,640
It's everybody else
that should be nervous.

616
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,160
THEY CHUCKLE

617
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,960
So what was the food like
on Drag Race?

618
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,120
Did you ever manage
to get to RuPaul's house?

619
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,480
You know what?
If you give me more liquor,

620
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,800
I'll tell you where
the bodies are buried.

621
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,680
CHEERING

622
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,320
I'm Every Woman
by Whitney Houston

623
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:19,760
# Cos I'm every woman
Every woman

624
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:27,280
# It's all in me

625
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:35,880
# It's all in me

626
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,000
# I'm every woman

627
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,560
# It's all in me

628
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,640
# Anything you want done baby

629
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,440
# I do it naturally

630
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,480
# I'm every woman

631
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,440
# It's all in me

632
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,680
# I can read your thoughts right now

633
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,120
# Every one from A to Z

634
00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:37,360
# Whoa, whoa, whoa

635
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,480
# Whoa, whoa, whoa

636
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:47,160
# I ain't braggin'
Cos I'm the one

637
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:51,040
# Just ask me
Ooh, and it shall be done

638
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,040
# And don't bother
To compare... #