1 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,656 What does this say? 2 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,658 Does it say, "I grabbed it outta my suitcase 3 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:17,993 "and went to the beach" 4 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,329 or "Girl who overplans for vacation outfits"? 5 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,663 There's just a picture of a bird on it. 6 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:22,790 It doesn't say anything. 7 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,001 No, I mean, like, its vibe, you know? 8 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,920 Like, what's its vibe? Oh. 9 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,630 It's perfect for Ecuador. (CHUCKLES) 10 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,965 Yeah. And, like, why Ecuador? 11 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,760 Because we didn't want to go somewhere touristy. 12 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,429 We're not just, like, a couple of white assholes. 13 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:38,847 (CHUCKLES) No offense. 14 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,140 I really need it. 15 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,976 I just want to, like, sip a Mai Tai 16 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:46,355 and smoke a J, and then just kinda, like 17 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,357 start having red wine at night. 18 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,775 And then Scotch. 19 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,193 And if somebody's like, 20 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,528 "Have you ever done ayahuasca?" 21 00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:55,531 I'll be like, "No, is it safe?" 22 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,491 And then I'll try it. I don't care. 23 00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,119 And are things ideal, financially, right now? 24 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,621 No. The answer is no. 25 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,832 But will things pick up? 26 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,667 One thousand percent. (CHUCKLES) 27 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,128 Did I tell you Michael's band is blowing up right now? 28 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,337 Yeah. 29 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,547 So, yeah, basically 30 00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:14,299 you know, money won't be an "ish" much longer. 31 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,051 This is a good color for me, right? 32 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,137 So, did you guys have this in my size? 33 00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,140 Yeah, no. 34 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:22,558 Sorry. 35 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:23,892 Okay. Thanks, anyway. 36 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,144 Have fun on your trip. 37 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,353 Nice meeting you. 38 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,729 I hope you find your keys. 39 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,064 Oh, my keys. Fuck! 40 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,233 This would be cute on me if... 41 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,069 (SHUTTER CLICKS) 42 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:35,863 Are you serious? 43 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,030 What's up? 44 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,241 You are supposed to be selling clothes to the customers. 45 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,409 Not to yourself. 46 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,411 And what are you even doing on the floor? 47 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,663 I'm re-racking clothes 48 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,665 You know what? You're fired! What? 49 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,000 I'm done. No, no, no. 50 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,586 (STUTTERS) I need this job. Can you just think about this? 51 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:51,837 Look at the other employees. 52 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,965 Like, what about this bitch? I've never seen her do shit. 53 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,175 You don't do shit here! 54 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,384 She doesn't work here. 55 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,510 Oh, okay. 56 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,804 Hi. Thank you so much for coming in. 57 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,222 Look, can we just talk about this 58 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,974 when I get back from my vacation to Ecuador? 59 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,267 Vacation? 60 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,686 You never even asked for time off. 61 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,230 And I'm realizing that right now, okay? 62 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,648 And it's because I forgot. 63 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:12,858 Get out! 64 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,152 God! You know what? I don't need this job. 65 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,529 I'm gonna go have a sick time in Ecuador. 66 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,697 You have fun here, 67 00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:22,075 with all your shirts and your hours. 68 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,327 Because I don't need it. 69 00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:24,786 I'm about to kick your ass. 70 00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:26,038 Takin' this. 71 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,664 Put the damn hat down! 72 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,625 EMILY: I looked her right in the eye, and I went 73 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,544 "I wouldn't work here if you paid me. " 74 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,796 And I just stormed out. Just like, for real. 75 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,882 Like, "Bye. " Another one will come. 76 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,091 Right? Yeah. 77 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,843 You know what? I'm not gonna talk about that anymore. 78 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,261 I wanna focus on you and me 79 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,931 on the beach. Are you with me? 80 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,225 I can't go to South America. 81 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,518 What are you talking about? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 82 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,354 I can't go to Ecuador. 83 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:52,564 You know it's a non-refundable trip, right? 84 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,233 I don't want to make it about money 85 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,609 because money comes and goes, 86 00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:58,028 but I don't have any more coming right now, so 87 00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,905 I'm breaking up with you. 88 00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:03,533 When? 89 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:08,538 Like, right now. This is it. You're in the middle of it. 90 00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:10,666 Is it because you're afraid 91 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,417 because things are going so great between us? 92 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,211 That's what this is! No. 93 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,796 You're terrified, because you've never felt this way 94 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,880 about somebody before. 95 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,006 I know what's happening. 96 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,549 I'll tell you what it is. Okay. 97 00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:22,344 The band is really blowing up right now, you know? 98 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,428 I know. 99 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:26,348 And I'm going like this. I'm taking off, all right? 100 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:27,849 Okay. And this is you. 101 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,519 Just on the ground. 102 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,813 I'm up here, too. No, you're not up there. 103 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,523 Why can't I go up there? No, stop. 104 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,359 I'm going this way. I'm with you. 105 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,902 Well, I'm going that way now. 106 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,195 Now, I'm over there. 107 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,780 I'm going. You can't reach. 108 00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,031 My hand's over there. 109 00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:44,366 Look. This is the thing. 110 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:47,744 Where I'm going, there's gonna be a ton of... 111 00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:49,496 Inspiration. ... pussy. 112 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:51,498 Inspiration? No, pussy. 113 00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:52,708 I keep talking over you, 114 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,209 but it's sounding like you're saying... 115 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,335 Pussy. 116 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,378 I heard it that time. 117 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,504 You heard it? 118 00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,048 You always say music inspires you. 119 00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,383 Pussy inspires me. 120 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:02,676 I have a pussy. 121 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,052 You have one pussy. 122 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,180 But there's gonna be, like, hundreds of other pussies. 123 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:10,017 What about just my pussy, hundreds of times? 124 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,394 That's not as inspiring. 125 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,396 You don't want to lose us. You don't want to lose this. 126 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:15,689 No. Just no. 127 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,898 (WHIMPERS) 128 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:18,942 All right, this is the thing. 129 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,736 You don't have any direction in life. 130 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,571 What does that mean? 131 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,406 It means you're not going anywhere. 132 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:25,866 You're not doing anything. 133 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,910 You know what? I am so sorry, honestly 134 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,206 I'm sorry, but I want to see other people. 135 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:34,583 Excuse me? 136 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,293 You're great 137 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,420 but I have a lot going on right now. 138 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,380 Yeah, I'm heartbroken. 139 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,466 You're gonna meet someone so special. 140 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,051 Okay, I'm gonna go. Bye. 141 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,927 I want you to leave! 142 00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:48,597 You get out of here. 143 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,098 (SNIFFLING) 144 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,353 (CRYING) 145 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:57,230 LINDA: Okay, one more for you. 146 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,315 (LINE RINGING) 147 00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:01,151 Yeah, not for you, Andrew. You blew it. 148 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,278 (ON VOICEMAIL) Hey, it's Emily. Leave a message. 149 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,905 Ah, Em! Listen, honey, 150 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,448 I want you to be really careful 151 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,825 because there was some kind of heist in Delaware. 152 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:11,578 Yeah, and I know you're in New York and everything 153 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,747 but you can never be too safe, honey. 154 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,590 (SIGHS) 155 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,485 (SIGHS) 156 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,204 (SIGHING) Okay. All right. 157 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,123 (EXHALES HEAVILY) 158 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,291 Okay, guys. 159 00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:00,210 Let's go to bed. 160 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,797 (CATS MEOWING) 161 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,636 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 162 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,869 (GASPS) 163 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,249 (GAGS AND SPITS) 164 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:42,878 What? 165 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:45,922 What? No! 166 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,231 (SIGHS) 167 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,033 (HUFFS) 168 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,459 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 169 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,835 (CRYING) 170 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,589 Thank you. There you go. 171 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:35,889 (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) 172 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,099 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 173 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,644 (GASPS) Oh! 174 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:41,770 (CLICKS TONGUE) 175 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,105 Poor thing! You look awful. 176 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:45,774 Thank you. 177 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,817 Who the hell does he think he is? 178 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,611 How do you know I didn't break up with him? 179 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,862 Did you? 180 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:51,947 No. 181 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,073 Of course not. 182 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:54,616 All right, this is a long hug. 183 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,243 I know. One more minute. 184 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:57,494 I haven't seen you in, like, forever. 185 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,704 Can we just move this hug along? 186 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,874 Hello, Philip. 187 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,042 (MEOWS) 188 00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:05,585 Okay, honey. 189 00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,046 So you can stay here for as long as you want. 190 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,214 Carte blanche, okay? 191 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,716 I definitely have to go back tonight. 192 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:12,968 Oh, tonight, right? 193 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,302 Tonight, I'm going back. 194 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,263 All right. Well, do what you want. 195 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:17,973 Thank you. We're in the kitchen. 196 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,767 Oh, Jeffrey's home? What a shock. 197 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:21,893 Okay, don't start! 198 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,019 What? 199 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,313 Agoraphobia is not a joke. 200 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,732 Mama, Mama, Mama... Oh. 201 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:28,984 Hey, Em. 202 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,151 I thought you were Mom, 203 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,820 'cause you guys have, like, the exact same voice. 204 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,321 LINDA: Okay. No, we don't. 205 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,823 You have the exact same haircut, too. 206 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,324 You know who you have the haircut of? 207 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,951 Who's that? Harry Potter. 208 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,912 Harry Potter is the greatest of all the wizards. 209 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,664 He's a hero and a great role model. 210 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,332 So, I'll take it as a compliment. 211 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:46,918 Mom, can I have a chocolate milk? 212 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,839 Oh, God, Mama! Mama! 213 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,841 Yeah? Very cold! 214 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,175 I didn't heat it up. 215 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,468 It's bread temperature. 216 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,470 Maybe three to four minutes and get it nice and toasty? 217 00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,180 We could toasty-toasty! 218 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,516 Don't ask Mom to toast your bread for you! 219 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,476 What? Is something wrong with your legs? 220 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,103 They're in a seated position. She's already up. 221 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,355 I'll put the butter on myself. Thank you, Mama. 222 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,107 Wow, you're gonna butter it yourself? 223 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,191 Yeah, I'm gonna butter it myself. 224 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,694 Does Mom feed you like a baby bird when I'm not here? 225 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,030 I eat plenty. Don't worry about my diet. Don't! 226 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,865 Mama! She's showing me her food in her mouth. 227 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,659 No, I'm not, Mom. I'm chewing like a person. 228 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:20,827 Then she opened her mouth and showed it to me. 229 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,162 He's lying again. 230 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,455 Hey, guys! 231 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,165 This is supposed to be fun. 232 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,125 I know what's going on with you, man. 233 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,293 Ah, please. 234 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,128 You got shot through the heart. Okay, Michael's gone. 235 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:31,212 Ew. And it sucks. 236 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,465 Because you know what? He was the best you'll ever do. 237 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,383 Mom, can I eat upstairs? No! 238 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,510 I would like to eat right here with you, Mom. Mama. 239 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:38,720 You're so gay for Mom. 240 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:39,888 I'm not gay for Mom. 241 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:40,972 You're gay for Mom! 242 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,682 She's a woman. She has a vagina. 243 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,059 You suck Mom's dick. 244 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,477 (GROANS) 245 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,188 Guys! Cool it! 246 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,065 If you keep this up, I'm not cooking anymore 247 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,816 and I'm not feeding you. 248 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,068 Stop it. 249 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,737 Truce. Truce. 250 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,322 LINDA: Arthur! Here, kitty, kitty. 251 00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,076 Honey, have you seen Arthur? Did he get out? 252 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:02,744 He's right there. 253 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:04,788 LINDA: Oh, good. Hi, okay. 254 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,247 Does he ever move? 255 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:07,791 Sweetie, want to watch a movie? 256 00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:09,459 I don't care, Mom. 257 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:10,960 Oh, honey, I know you feel so sad. 258 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,422 But everything is going to get better, honey. 259 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,092 I'll tell you, when Dad left 260 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,136 I thought I would never have sex again. 261 00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,222 And I was right. 262 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:23,890 What? 263 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,768 But I tell you, I am really, really relieved 264 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,728 that you are not going on that trip. 265 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,980 Who said I'm not going on that trip? 266 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,565 I'm definitely going on that trip. 267 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:33,858 I'm just trying to pick which friend 268 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,026 to bring with me right now 269 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,820 because, like, everybody wants to go. 270 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:37,904 Okay. 271 00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,572 I can't deal with you evaluating my life right now. 272 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:40,782 Can we just take the night off? 273 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:41,950 I'm not in a place. 274 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,118 I get it. 275 00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:46,413 Enough. Don't do that. 276 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,124 (LINDA SIGHS) 277 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,794 EMILY: Okay, Shadee, how about instead of rent this month, 278 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,003 hear me out 279 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:58,425 you cash in on a free trip to Ecuador? 280 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:01,928 Come on! 281 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,013 Aren't you, like, from there? 282 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,935 Uh, no, you're the one who sounds racist, actually. 283 00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:12,355 Wow, you jumped to the C-word pretty fast! 284 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,691 How rude is that? Oh, shit. 285 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,192 Mom! 286 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,111 Can I borrow a shirt? 287 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,156 Sure, honey. Go into the hall closet. 288 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,513 ♪ Down on Cyprus Avenue 289 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:51,811 ♪ With a childlike vision Leaping into view 290 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:59,152 ♪ Clicking, clacking Of the high heeled shoe 291 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:06,075 ♪ Ford & Fitzroy, Madame George ♪ 292 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,579 EMILY: Pack your bags. 293 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,873 You're going with me to Ecuador. 294 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,375 Absolutely not. Not with my knees. Not going. 295 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:15,710 Yes, you are. No! 296 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,754 Mom! Look what I just found. 297 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,049 Look at how fun you were. 298 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,344 Look at that! I can't even believe that's you. 299 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:26,012 LINDA: Mmm-hmm. 300 00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:27,096 Look at this. 301 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,223 Oh! 302 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:31,059 That was a long time ago, honey. 303 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,685 Ma 304 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,896 this would be so great for you. 305 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:38,274 Oh, everybody knows you need two years to plan a vacation. 306 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,068 No! What are you talking about? 307 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,028 You don't do anything fun anymore. 308 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,279 I do! 309 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,449 I go to the Y twice a week, and I take sculpting class. 310 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,243 I mean, look! Voila! 311 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,703 Mom! I told you I would not acknowledge that. 312 00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:53,248 That is not right. Okay? 313 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,124 It's your home. You put it where you want it, 314 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,960 but it's an upsetting image. Okay. 315 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,254 Mom, look, I didn't want to do this 316 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,464 but here it goes. 317 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:04,259 (SIGHS) What? 318 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,385 My trip... 319 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:06,469 Yeah? 320 00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:10,265 ...is non-refundable. 321 00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,933 Oh, my God! 322 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,017 Yeah. 323 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,812 You always book refundable, Emily! Everybody knows that! 324 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,188 I know, but... (STUTTERS) 325 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,731 Look, it's done, 326 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,733 and no one else will go with me. 327 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:21,818 No one. 328 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,612 But I booked a journey. 329 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,823 And I refuse 330 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:29,701 I refuse to let Michael's decision 331 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,287 dictate whether or not I, as a woman 332 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,621 go on this trip. 333 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,915 I will embrace this challenge 334 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:38,543 in the intrepid spirit 335 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,212 of all the independent women 336 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,463 who have come before me. 337 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:43,798 All the single ladies! 338 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,718 'Cause it's upon their shoulders that I'm standing. 339 00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:49,512 No, I won't back down! 340 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,473 No! 341 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:54,976 So I stand before you right now, Linda 342 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,769 and I ask you 343 00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:58,104 will you 344 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:01,441 Linda, my mother, Middleton 345 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,775 join me 346 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,112 on this pilgrimage? 347 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,281 (SIGHS) 348 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,286 No. 349 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,872 Non-refundable! 350 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,874 Mom! I can't. 351 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,501 Help me put the "fun" 352 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,838 in non-refundable. 353 00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,217 (SIGHS HEAVILY) 354 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:43,232 (EXCLAIMING) (SHUTTER CLICKS) 355 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:44,651 (CHUCKLES) 356 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,194 I actually kinda caught a piece of you, Mom. 357 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,363 Could you lean out a little bit? 358 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,366 (SHUTTER CLICKS) That's cute. 359 00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:53,576 Here, put this on. 360 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,036 What is this? What? 361 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:58,581 That is a rape whistle. 362 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,083 That's a rape whistle. 363 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,584 What? (CLEARS THROAT) 364 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,878 This is a dog whistle, Mom. 365 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,338 Oh, well... 366 00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:06,798 Are you afraid these dogs are gonna rape me? 367 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:07,882 Is that the main concern? 368 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,050 Can I just see that? 369 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,802 I didn't look at the dogs. 370 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,178 Do they look like rapists to you? 371 00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:13,262 Whatever! 372 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,390 LINDA: Why don't you just say, "Thank you, Mom"? 373 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:16,557 EMILY: Thank you. 374 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,476 "I'm being raped by a dog. " (WHISTLES) 375 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,186 (BARKING) (BOTH YELP) 376 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,397 EMILY: (SHRIEKING) Oh, my God! 377 00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,109 It works. 378 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,362 Wow! Mmm-hmm. Huh? 379 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:34,701 Welcome. 380 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,910 Oh, thank you. Um 381 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,079 That's check-in, right? Welcome. 382 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:42,750 No, no! Thank you so much. No. Thank you. 383 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,128 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 384 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,130 This is me. Thank you. 385 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,048 (LINDA SIGHS) (CHUCKLES) 386 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,217 Oh, thank you very much. 387 00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,803 What's this? Welcome! 388 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,263 (EXCLAIMS) 389 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,557 (GROANS) Ma'am! 390 00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,142 "Whale" what? 391 00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:01,310 "Welcome. " Oh! 392 00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,229 "Welcome. " I'm sorry. Honey! 393 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:04,397 They're not serving up whale semen. 394 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,315 I'm so sorry. I've got it, thank you. 395 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,775 I know, but that was not good. 396 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,777 Okay. And I have you down for a king. 397 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:11,779 Oh. Nope, that's not right. 398 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,448 I was supposed to be a king 399 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:16,451 but one thing led to another, and I changed it. 400 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,077 So, it's two queens now. 401 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,495 Are you sure you changed it? 402 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:20,788 Yeah, I called ahead. 403 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,790 I do see that note here. 404 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,626 Okay, well, can you look at that note 405 00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,087 and make that note happen? 406 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,756 I'm sorry, I cannot. 407 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:31,883 So I'm just gonna share 408 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,926 a king-size bed in a romantic locale 409 00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,428 with my mother? 410 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,597 You can sleep head-to-toe. 411 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,641 Like we're 69-ing. 412 00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,477 Great. (CHUCKLES) 413 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:45,188 I know what that means, you know. "69-ing. " 414 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,647 Really, Mom? What does it mean? 415 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:47,982 LINDA: Don't test me. 416 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,196 (SHUTTER CLICKS) 417 00:17:58,535 --> 00:17:59,660 Hey. Hi. 418 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:01,162 You ate lunch without me. 419 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,873 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 420 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,208 And you got a drink. 421 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:06,793 At 2:00 a.m. 422 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,337 Mmm-hmm. Sure do. 423 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:11,923 Hey, honey, you're gonna break your toes in these. 424 00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,049 No, I'm not. 425 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,592 These flip-flops are bad for your feet. 426 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:15,760 Okay, all right. I know. 427 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,637 I'm a grown woman, so I'm fine. 428 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:18,971 But thank you. 429 00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,515 Why are you dressed like Powder? 430 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,475 You look like a beekeeper. 431 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,227 Just get some sun, is what I'm saying. 432 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,687 The sun is very dangerous. 433 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:32,693 Mom! 434 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,112 Okay, please. I just want to fix this. 435 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,279 You put so much on. 436 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,240 I don't want you to get melanoma in front of my eyes. 437 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,534 Please. Here. Here. 438 00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:42,703 Mom! (GRUNTING) 439 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,878 (SIGHS) So 440 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:53,005 I'm just gonna read my magazine. 441 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,930 Oh, that's nice. 442 00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:05,268 I didn't know they had a day care program at the hotel. 443 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:06,894 (LAUGHING) 444 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,104 So, I don't get it. 445 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,189 It's gross. It is gross. 446 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,524 (LAUGHS) 447 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,693 Oh, God! 448 00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,779 Have you talked to your dad lately? 449 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,365 Mmm-mmm. I think he's still in Florida with Susan. 450 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,247 Let's go out tonight. 451 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:27,707 What? No, I can't. 452 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,084 Yeah, you and me. We're going out. 453 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,044 No, no, no. Why? 454 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,463 Hair, make-up, boobs. We're going out. 455 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:36,257 Come on. Don't do this. 456 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,219 Emily, I am not going strolling in Ecuador at night. 457 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:41,596 You're such a scaredy-cat. 458 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,097 This is what I'm talking about. 459 00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:44,348 You're gonna miss this whole trip. 460 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,100 Everything shouldn't be so scary. 461 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,186 Oh, it damn well should. 462 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,521 Okay, thank you. 463 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:53,149 Name's Ruth. Traveling with my best friend, Barb. 464 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,319 We usually go to the Arizona Gem Show every year. 465 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:59,280 But this year, Barb got a deal on this resort. 466 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,781 Well, enjoy it. 467 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,158 Ecuador's a pretty place. 468 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,285 No arguing that. 469 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:05,912 But you can't let your guard down. 470 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,122 That is right. That is exactly right. 471 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,540 A lot of terrible things 472 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,167 happen outside these little gates. 473 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,628 Exactly. See? The world's a scary place. 474 00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:17,131 One in four tourists in South America are kidnapped. 475 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,466 What? Incredible! 476 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:19,759 Not true. 477 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,135 Totally true. 478 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:24,180 One, two, three, somebody's missing. 479 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,306 It's false. 480 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,474 Oh, my God. 481 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,310 Anyway, Barb retired last year. Oh, look! 482 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,979 That's her over there. Finally getting some peace. 483 00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:33,648 You know, she was in special ops. 484 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,441 And she's seen some shit. 485 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:36,651 Hi, Barb! 486 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:40,112 Special ops! Wow, that's very interesting. 487 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,742 Oh, don't bother waiting for a response. 488 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,995 Barb cut her own tongue out when she left the service. 489 00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:49,247 Precautionary measures 490 00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,249 to prevent from being interrogated 491 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,334 for top secret information. 492 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,919 Couldn't they just torture her 493 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,338 into writing down the information? 494 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,928 Well, anyway, I best get going. 495 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,807 Here's my number, in case you guys want to grab dinner 496 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,600 or lunch, or breakfast, or a snack. 497 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:10,935 Okay. 498 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,187 Or just kinda sit, you know? 499 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,438 Just sittin'. 500 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,607 Thank you, Ruth. Thank you so much. 501 00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,609 See you at dinner. 502 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,113 EMILY: Wow. LINDA: Well 503 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:26,158 I'm going to be having a lovely evening here tonight 504 00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:27,994 reading my novellas. 505 00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:30,538 Well, I'm going to get ready and have a drink. 506 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,290 What a shock. 507 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,959 (MUSIC PLAYING) 508 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,502 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 509 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:41,799 (SIGHS) 510 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,012 (SHUTTER CLICKS) 511 00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:50,975 (SHUTTER CLICKS) 512 00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,065 Hey, do you mind if I join you? 513 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,818 Hey, that dude... 514 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,570 Oh, no. Uh, sorry. 515 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:03,696 You. 516 00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,407 Mind if I join you? 517 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:09,243 Oh, yeah. Yeah, come over. 518 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:10,745 Please. 519 00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:12,913 Uh, not you. It was me. Excuse me? 520 00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:15,499 Could you kind of beat it? 'Cause you're a distraction. 521 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:17,543 Hey, how are you? I'm James. 522 00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:18,878 Emily. Hi, Emily. 523 00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:20,504 Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. 524 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:21,922 What happened to your arm? 525 00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,841 Did you try to kill yourself 'cause you're so ugly? 526 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,426 (BOTH LAUGH) 527 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:27,094 No, I, um 528 00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,263 I've just spent the past few weeks in Koh Phangan. 529 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:30,348 Mmm. 530 00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:32,725 And my last day there I kept thinking about that quote 531 00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,560 "Man cannot discover new oceans 532 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,938 "unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. " 533 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:41,275 Wow, I love that you don't 534 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,860 care about sounding like a weirdo. 535 00:22:42,944 --> 00:22:44,945 (BOTH CHUCKLE) Well, you know, 536 00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:46,947 I wanted a tattoo to symbolize that 537 00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:50,201 but I'm pretty sure I must have been wasted 538 00:22:50,285 --> 00:22:51,952 because I don't know what Borat has to do 539 00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:53,079 with any of that. 540 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:54,413 That is brutal. 541 00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:55,706 Yeah, it is. 542 00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:57,291 But, actually, I can beat that. 543 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:58,626 Look at this. Okay. 544 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:00,961 I got this. I was 18, okay? 545 00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,630 Look at that. It's raised. 546 00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,465 Touch it, it's raised. That is horrible. 547 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:06,217 I got it at the worst place. 548 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,468 And my skirt's over my head. 549 00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:08,636 Is that finished? 550 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:11,806 I mean, people have certainly finished on it. 551 00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:13,808 (LAUGHING) I'm sorry. 552 00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:14,975 I don't know why I just said that. 553 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,227 I'm trying to, like, be funny for you. 554 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:18,479 So, here you are. How come you're here? 555 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,231 I'm a model. I'm here, modeling. 556 00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,775 So you're not here with your boyfriend? 557 00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:23,984 Is he a model, too? 558 00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:25,986 Uh, no, I'm just here with, um 559 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,239 my 560 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,492 My mom. 561 00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:33,244 Hey, that's so crazy you're here with your mom 562 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,578 because I'm here with my mom. 563 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,247 Really? 564 00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:37,957 No, absolutely not. 565 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:40,835 That would be so sad, because I'm an adult. 566 00:23:41,002 --> 00:23:42,628 It's pronounced "adult. " 567 00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:46,132 EMILY: You've been to Egypt? What were you saying? 568 00:23:46,299 --> 00:23:47,591 JAMES: No, yeah, I went to Egypt. 569 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,510 I know it's kind of dangerous right now. 570 00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:51,929 But, I've hiked up mountains in Iran. 571 00:23:52,013 --> 00:23:54,181 I've run with the bulls in Spain. 572 00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:56,934 I've eaten poisonous blowfish in Japan. 573 00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,353 To me, those are the moments that make life worth living. 574 00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:01,689 I love everything you're saying. 575 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:02,857 (BOTH LAUGH) 576 00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:04,859 Your Instagram must be insane. 577 00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:07,987 Oh, well, no. I'm not really on any of those things. 578 00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:09,655 How can anybody see what you do? 579 00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:12,199 Well, they don't. But I get to live it. 580 00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:18,122 Do you wanna do something tonight? 581 00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,040 Like, something crazy, 582 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,876 or can we do something amazing? 583 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:22,960 Yeah! 584 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:27,506 I'm sure we can rustle up some adventure tonight. 585 00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,383 Yes! Yeah. 586 00:24:31,052 --> 00:24:33,137 Everything okay over here, Emily? 587 00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:35,347 I met them at the pool. Oh, you guys. 588 00:24:35,515 --> 00:24:37,892 Remember, never have more drinks than you have tits. 589 00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:39,226 Two tits, two drinks. 590 00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:40,686 I know how many tits I have. 591 00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:41,896 Please, go away. 592 00:24:42,063 --> 00:24:43,564 Did you just give me danger eyes? 593 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,399 I don't even know what "danger eyes" is. 594 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,902 I gave you get-the-fuck-outta here eyes. Go away. 595 00:24:48,069 --> 00:24:49,403 It was like this. 596 00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:50,905 That's kind of a thing. I didn't make that face. 597 00:24:51,072 --> 00:24:52,072 I think you... 598 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,240 That's danger eyes. 599 00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:54,325 Go. 600 00:24:54,409 --> 00:24:55,910 Go away. 601 00:24:58,413 --> 00:24:59,914 (MIMICS SHUTTER CLICKING) 602 00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:01,749 Ride or die. 603 00:25:04,878 --> 00:25:06,754 Barb, you're wilin' out right now. 604 00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,089 Thank you, Barb. Okay. 605 00:25:13,428 --> 00:25:14,887 (BOTH LAUGH) 606 00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:17,640 (SIGHS) 607 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,936 (SNIFFS AND GROANS) 608 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:32,112 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 609 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:41,455 (HINGES CREAKING) 610 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,008 (SIGHS) 611 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:00,683 Hey. 612 00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:02,184 Hey. 613 00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:04,395 That was not what it looked like. 614 00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:08,065 I was just washing my vagina in case we hooked up. 615 00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:09,733 That is what it looked like. 616 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:11,193 Oh, okay. Yeah. 617 00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:13,904 'Cause when I drink sometimes it smells like soup. 618 00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:15,948 Hey, do you know what? Shall we? 619 00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:17,324 Yeah? (CHUCKLES) 620 00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:19,952 Hey, what kind of soup? 621 00:26:20,036 --> 00:26:22,246 Um, that is none of your business. 622 00:26:22,330 --> 00:26:27,167 ♪ Let it all go Come on, man, I already know 623 00:26:27,502 --> 00:26:33,215 ♪ We gotta go fig up a riot If we wanna fly free 624 00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:39,263 ♪ Doggies and dolls I wanna be facing them off 625 00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:45,185 ♪ Light up my fire I need to get in too deep 626 00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:48,522 ♪ Take me to the party ♪ 627 00:26:48,648 --> 00:26:49,773 Really? What? What? 628 00:26:49,899 --> 00:26:51,025 (LAUGHING) 629 00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:52,860 Slow down. You're like... 630 00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:54,903 Here we go. 631 00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:56,196 What is this? 632 00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:57,698 Check it out. 633 00:26:58,742 --> 00:27:00,659 (JAMES LAUGHS) No. 634 00:27:00,827 --> 00:27:02,786 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) EMILY: Oh, my God! 635 00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:04,038 JAMES: What do you think? 636 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,040 EMILY: I can't believe this. 637 00:27:06,166 --> 00:27:07,499 JAMES: I know. They just sort of pop up. 638 00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:09,335 Is this like a tree or something? 639 00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:10,586 JAMES: It is a tree. 640 00:27:10,879 --> 00:27:12,504 You're gonna know all these people by the end of it. 641 00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:13,589 EMILY: Yes. 642 00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:14,882 ¡Hola! Just two of those. 643 00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:20,262 (SIGHS) 644 00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:23,974 That's capoeira. 645 00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,934 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 646 00:27:50,418 --> 00:27:52,419 (MAN GRUNTS) JAMES: Oh, shit! 647 00:27:52,587 --> 00:27:54,546 Uh, I'm really sorry. She's never done that before. 648 00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:55,631 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 649 00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:57,091 I think you might have killed the guy. 650 00:27:57,717 --> 00:27:59,051 Holy shit. I'm sorry. 651 00:27:59,135 --> 00:28:00,469 (BOTH LAUGHING) 652 00:28:01,429 --> 00:28:03,263 (EMILY WHOOPING) 653 00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,808 Oh, this is nice. Right? 654 00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:07,184 That's made of glass. 655 00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:08,477 Yeah, it is. 656 00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,604 And the elevator there is made of steel. 657 00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:12,481 And you are okay finding your room? 658 00:28:13,316 --> 00:28:14,733 Oh. Yeah. 659 00:28:14,901 --> 00:28:17,069 No, I had a buzz earlier. 660 00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,822 But it's gone now. 661 00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:21,740 Uh... (CLEARS THROAT) 662 00:28:22,450 --> 00:28:24,284 Your tit's out. 663 00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:27,621 Your tit's out, too. 664 00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:30,624 No, your tit is actually 665 00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:31,834 emerged. 666 00:28:37,298 --> 00:28:38,966 I thought I felt a breeze. 667 00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:41,760 Will you excuse me? 668 00:28:41,928 --> 00:28:43,303 Oh, no. Yeah, absolutely. 669 00:28:47,475 --> 00:28:50,519 (SIGHS) God, I wish I could invite you up. 670 00:28:50,687 --> 00:28:52,312 But I can't. 671 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,314 I have to 69 my mom. 672 00:28:54,482 --> 00:28:56,316 Well, how about, then 673 00:28:56,484 --> 00:28:59,319 you set your alarm for 9:00 a.m. 674 00:28:59,487 --> 00:29:02,322 and we will go on another adventure? 675 00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:05,325 Yeah! I would love it. (CHUCKLING) 676 00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:08,120 Oh, shit. 677 00:29:08,288 --> 00:29:09,580 I got my mom. 678 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:10,998 No, bring her. 679 00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:12,583 It'll be fun. 680 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:14,960 Oh, my God! James! 681 00:29:15,086 --> 00:29:16,170 Thank you. 682 00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:18,046 That's all right. The pleasure's gonna be mine. 683 00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,465 So, you get off to bed 684 00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:21,133 and I will see you tomorrow. 685 00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:24,595 I'll see you tomorrow, too. 686 00:29:25,054 --> 00:29:26,388 (JAMES CHUCKLES) 687 00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:43,614 (CLATTERING) EMILY: Oh! 688 00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:49,912 (CLATTERING CONTINUES) 689 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:51,997 (EMILY SHUSHING) 690 00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:56,627 (SOFTLY) Sorry. 691 00:29:58,213 --> 00:30:01,215 (SIGHS) Mom, I had the best night. 692 00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:03,967 I learned the capoa. 693 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:07,721 You do that. And I danced with a lady. 694 00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:08,806 (EXCLAIMS) (THUDS) 695 00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:09,890 I'm okay. 696 00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,726 And we twerked. 697 00:30:12,894 --> 00:30:14,144 Did you ever twerk, Ma? 698 00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:15,562 No. It's easy. 699 00:30:15,730 --> 00:30:17,147 You just loosen your lower back, 700 00:30:17,232 --> 00:30:18,565 and you kind of jump. 701 00:30:18,733 --> 00:30:20,234 Are you getting it? Yeah. 702 00:30:20,485 --> 00:30:22,361 I was doing it better before. 703 00:30:22,904 --> 00:30:26,073 What is this haunted swan doing here? 704 00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:27,991 Scram, swan! 705 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:30,744 Mom 706 00:30:31,579 --> 00:30:32,913 I met a man. 707 00:30:33,039 --> 00:30:34,373 Yeah? 708 00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:37,042 I met a real man. 709 00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:40,587 Well, drinking with a man in a foreign country... 710 00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:44,424 You know? It's a smart, responsible thing to do. 711 00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:46,093 Thank you. 712 00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:50,180 I know that that is sincere, and I thank you. 713 00:30:50,765 --> 00:30:53,058 You missed a maleficent night. 714 00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:55,227 Well, I'm sorry. Go to sleep. 715 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:57,729 I can't get in. It's too tight, Mom. 716 00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:58,856 Just, here... 717 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,190 Just put your feet under there. 718 00:31:00,275 --> 00:31:01,358 It's so tight. 719 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:02,609 It's tight, but it will untighten. 720 00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:03,944 What are they trying to prove? 721 00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:05,153 Just go to sleep, honey. 722 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:06,363 He's my soul mate. 723 00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:08,740 I know, I'm sure. Yeah, whatever. Wait till tomorrow. 724 00:31:08,908 --> 00:31:11,910 He's gonna take us on a day trip. 725 00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:13,453 Mmm-hmm. And you're going. 726 00:31:13,621 --> 00:31:15,831 No, I'm not. I'm gonna read my book, is what I'm gonna do. 727 00:31:15,999 --> 00:31:17,124 I've got ten pages left. 728 00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:18,834 Now that I'm awake. 729 00:31:19,586 --> 00:31:22,087 And hopefully you won't start drunk-snoring till I'm done. 730 00:31:22,255 --> 00:31:23,881 Do you wanna know how this book ends? 731 00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:25,465 I do. Absolutely. 732 00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:26,675 Then the only way you're gonna find out 733 00:31:26,759 --> 00:31:27,801 is if you come tomorrow. 734 00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:29,678 This is my book now. This is not your book. 735 00:31:29,762 --> 00:31:31,013 Yes, it is. This is my book. 736 00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:32,556 You are too young to be acting like this. 737 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,392 Oh, really? Well, you're too old to be acting like this. 738 00:31:35,476 --> 00:31:36,476 Now, give me my book! 739 00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:37,603 No! 740 00:31:37,687 --> 00:31:39,354 You're coming! 741 00:31:39,522 --> 00:31:41,189 You wanna know how this ends, Linda? 742 00:31:41,274 --> 00:31:42,274 Yeah, I do. 743 00:31:42,358 --> 00:31:44,192 You will come tomorrow. 744 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:45,736 What did you do? 745 00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:48,655 I've got 'em right here in my chi-chas. 746 00:31:49,365 --> 00:31:50,365 Chi-cha? 747 00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:53,368 I'll see you and James tomorrow. 748 00:31:53,536 --> 00:31:54,745 God, Emily, this isn't fun. 749 00:31:54,871 --> 00:31:56,038 Good night. 750 00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,291 (LINDA SIGHS) 751 00:31:59,375 --> 00:32:00,626 (EMILY FARTS) Oh! 752 00:32:00,710 --> 00:32:02,252 Emily, please. 753 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:04,630 It was the swan. 754 00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:18,727 JAMES: Ah! (CHUCKLES) 755 00:32:18,811 --> 00:32:21,772 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 756 00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:23,523 (GUITAR PLAYING) 757 00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:32,491 Ma! 758 00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:33,951 Is he looking at me? 759 00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:35,953 Is James looking? 760 00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:37,412 No, he's not. 761 00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:38,830 Here he comes. 762 00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:41,416 Here we go. 763 00:32:41,584 --> 00:32:43,043 Yes! Here you go. 764 00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:44,753 Thank you! Thanks. 765 00:32:45,505 --> 00:32:47,339 Hey, cheers! 766 00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:49,091 Ooh, cheers! Cheers. 767 00:32:49,258 --> 00:32:50,258 What's in it? 768 00:32:50,426 --> 00:32:51,593 I wish I could tell you. 769 00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:53,220 He said it was a secret family recipe or something. 770 00:32:53,388 --> 00:32:54,972 LINDA: Oh, really? (EMILY CHUCKLES) 771 00:32:55,181 --> 00:32:56,139 It's good. 772 00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:57,724 Do you guys mind how we get back? 773 00:32:57,892 --> 00:32:59,643 'Cause I was thinking maybe we could take the scenic route. 774 00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:01,186 We're gonna go past waterfalls. 775 00:33:01,270 --> 00:33:02,646 I always see about 12 rainbows. 776 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:04,648 It's insane. Or, if you want 777 00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:07,401 we could just take the old, boring, dusty highway. 778 00:33:07,568 --> 00:33:09,444 I'll take the old, dusty highway. 779 00:33:09,612 --> 00:33:10,988 What? Do you hear yourself? 780 00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:12,739 Why are you a life-ruiner? 781 00:33:12,907 --> 00:33:14,116 Do you know what? 782 00:33:14,283 --> 00:33:15,575 She is kind of right 'cause I think we'd save 783 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,077 probably a whole 784 00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:18,620 five minutes. 785 00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:20,372 So... Okay. 786 00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:22,165 Waterfalls and rainbows. 787 00:33:42,437 --> 00:33:44,021 Where the hell are we? 788 00:33:44,397 --> 00:33:46,982 Oh, we're just coming up on a really beautiful view. 789 00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:50,027 Do you guys have any service? I have, like, no bars. 790 00:33:50,194 --> 00:33:51,570 It's not letting me post anything. 791 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,290 (GASPS AND STAMMERS) 792 00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:06,460 All right. That's it. 793 00:34:06,627 --> 00:34:07,711 No more scenic route. 794 00:34:07,795 --> 00:34:09,129 Let's just get us on the main road, please. 795 00:34:09,297 --> 00:34:10,547 Are you sure? 796 00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:12,215 I mean, this really is the way 797 00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:13,800 to experience the culture, you know. 798 00:34:13,968 --> 00:34:14,968 No, thank you. 799 00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:16,094 Mom, it's fine. I'm sure. 800 00:34:16,262 --> 00:34:17,804 No, it's absolutely not! 801 00:34:17,972 --> 00:34:20,807 Just get us out, you know, back, okay? And now! 802 00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:21,892 I want you to do it right now. 803 00:34:21,976 --> 00:34:22,976 EMILY: I'm so sorry. 804 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:24,895 That's okay. Listen, I'm really sorry, guys. 805 00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:26,146 I didn't mean to freak you out. 806 00:34:26,314 --> 00:34:28,398 Listen, I'm just gonna have to turn around up here 807 00:34:28,566 --> 00:34:29,816 and then we'll get back to the road. 808 00:34:29,942 --> 00:34:31,151 EMILY: What was the name of that dance 809 00:34:31,235 --> 00:34:32,444 that we were doing the other night? 810 00:34:32,612 --> 00:34:34,154 Mom, you should have seen it. Oh, my God! 811 00:34:34,322 --> 00:34:35,655 Capoeira! Capoeira! 812 00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:58,428 (GASPS) 813 00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:00,514 Oh, my God! 814 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:02,474 Are you okay? 815 00:35:02,683 --> 00:35:03,683 Oh, my God! 816 00:35:04,310 --> 00:35:05,352 Where are we? 817 00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:06,770 (WHIMPERING) 818 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,189 (STAMMERING) 819 00:35:09,273 --> 00:35:11,274 Why would they take us? Oh, my God! 820 00:35:12,026 --> 00:35:14,152 Oh, fuck! Ew. Ew. 821 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,029 Mom, why aren't you talking? 822 00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:18,281 Because I'm trying to remain calm. 823 00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:21,535 And when I think about where we are 824 00:35:21,661 --> 00:35:22,994 and what's happening, I start to panic. 825 00:35:23,162 --> 00:35:24,704 And I don't want to panic. 826 00:35:24,872 --> 00:35:27,791 So I have chosen to believe 827 00:35:27,875 --> 00:35:29,876 that I am reading a very compelling article 828 00:35:30,044 --> 00:35:32,712 on local farming practices. 829 00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,548 What the fuck is that? Is that porn? 830 00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:35,882 Because 831 00:35:36,050 --> 00:35:37,968 when I think about all this... 832 00:35:38,636 --> 00:35:39,803 (YELLS) I get upset! 833 00:35:39,887 --> 00:35:40,887 Oh, my God. 834 00:35:41,013 --> 00:35:44,391 So I'm moving on to another article 835 00:35:44,559 --> 00:35:46,184 about this woman's asshole. 836 00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:47,394 Her asshole? 837 00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:49,312 Because I just don't know what else to do. 838 00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,397 EMILY: Oh, my God! 839 00:35:50,523 --> 00:35:51,481 Do you think James is okay? 840 00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:52,732 Do you think they're holding him here? 841 00:35:53,526 --> 00:35:54,901 Oh, Emily, don't you know 842 00:35:55,027 --> 00:35:57,237 that James is part of all this, honey? 843 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:59,156 How can my daughter be so foolish? 844 00:35:59,323 --> 00:36:01,575 How could she just not know this? 845 00:36:01,742 --> 00:36:04,369 I am sorry that this happened. 846 00:36:04,912 --> 00:36:07,539 But I will get us out of here, okay? 847 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,166 I'm gonna call... 848 00:36:10,751 --> 00:36:12,752 Oh, my God. They took my phone. 849 00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:15,922 Oh, my God, they took my phone! 850 00:36:16,257 --> 00:36:19,050 (CRYING) It's fine. That's fine. 851 00:36:19,218 --> 00:36:20,760 We just gather raw materials. 852 00:36:20,928 --> 00:36:22,095 Okay, we... 853 00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:24,222 And we make a shiv. I saw this. 854 00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:25,932 No. I saw it. Yes! 855 00:36:26,100 --> 00:36:28,059 No. We fight, we lose. 856 00:36:28,227 --> 00:36:29,603 Holy shit! 857 00:36:30,229 --> 00:36:31,897 What are you holy-shitting about? 858 00:36:33,608 --> 00:36:37,110 Oh, the blood on the wall? Oh, well, that's there. 859 00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:39,905 Hey, how about the scorpion, over there in the corner? 860 00:36:40,072 --> 00:36:42,949 What? Oh, my God! It's a fucking scorpion! 861 00:36:43,117 --> 00:36:44,284 Mom, you have to kill it. 862 00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:46,077 I'm not gonna kill it. Kill it! 863 00:36:46,245 --> 00:36:47,579 I can't kill it. 864 00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:51,625 (BOTH SHRIEK) Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 865 00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:52,709 EMILY: Where have you taken us? 866 00:36:52,793 --> 00:36:53,877 LINDA: I have a few questions. 867 00:36:53,961 --> 00:36:55,712 We have a very high-up family, 868 00:36:55,796 --> 00:36:57,088 and you're in a lot of trouble. 869 00:36:57,256 --> 00:36:59,090 What the fuck is this? 870 00:36:59,258 --> 00:37:01,218 That is heat-activated birth control, sir, 871 00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:02,385 so please keep that refrigerated. 872 00:37:02,970 --> 00:37:05,138 This was a day. This was a day trip. 873 00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:07,474 I know, but I like to be prepared. It's important. 874 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:09,476 What's your PIN number? 875 00:37:09,977 --> 00:37:11,603 One 876 00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:12,771 two 877 00:37:14,148 --> 00:37:15,315 three 878 00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,235 four. 879 00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:19,319 Oh, God. 880 00:37:19,403 --> 00:37:20,779 I was gonna change it. 881 00:37:20,947 --> 00:37:22,656 Do you have husband? 882 00:37:22,823 --> 00:37:24,658 I am divorced. 883 00:37:24,825 --> 00:37:26,743 EMILY: I also don't have a husband yet. 884 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:29,788 What about Jeffrey? My son, Jeffrey. 885 00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:34,334 Oh, my God. Our lives depend on Jeffrey. 886 00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:36,419 (JEFFREY HUMMING) (PIANO PLAYING) 887 00:37:36,504 --> 00:37:38,338 JEFFREY: Shit. What you're doing is shit. 888 00:37:38,422 --> 00:37:40,131 It sucks. (PHONE RINGING) 889 00:37:40,466 --> 00:37:43,927 (SIGHS) Okay, just think about how to be better. 890 00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:49,099 You got Jeffrey. 891 00:37:49,308 --> 00:37:50,809 MORGADO: Hello, Jeffrey. 892 00:37:50,977 --> 00:37:53,687 We have your mother and your sister. 893 00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:55,355 And you will now pay ransom. 894 00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:56,564 Pardon? 895 00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:57,774 $100,000. 896 00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,150 Wired by noon tomorrow. 897 00:37:59,318 --> 00:38:01,278 Okay, I don't know who this is, 898 00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:02,445 but if you keep pranking me, 899 00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:03,613 I will report it to the police. 900 00:38:03,698 --> 00:38:05,031 It will become a police matter, 901 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:06,700 and you will go to jail. Okay? 902 00:38:06,867 --> 00:38:09,119 I'm with Jacob right now. It's his piano lesson. 903 00:38:09,203 --> 00:38:10,203 So fuck off. 904 00:38:10,329 --> 00:38:11,955 Unfortunately, 905 00:38:12,623 --> 00:38:13,707 for Linda and Emily 906 00:38:13,874 --> 00:38:15,041 it is very real. 907 00:38:15,209 --> 00:38:16,876 Await further instructions. 908 00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:20,463 Mama? Hello! Hello! 909 00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:32,392 (DOOR THUDS) 910 00:38:32,518 --> 00:38:33,727 EMILY: Oh, my God. 911 00:38:36,188 --> 00:38:37,897 (EMILY WHIMPERS) (EXHALES) 912 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,113 Not too bad. 913 00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:48,575 However, I have to move you, and that is annoying to me. 914 00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:51,202 Fortunately, you have not made me angry. 915 00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:54,247 Should you ever make me angry 916 00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:58,585 I will skin you alive while your mother watches. 917 00:38:59,253 --> 00:39:01,087 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 918 00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:02,797 EMILY: What does that mean? Oh, God. 919 00:39:02,965 --> 00:39:04,799 Oh, my God. No! No! 920 00:39:05,217 --> 00:39:06,426 Fight, Mom. Fight! 921 00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:07,594 Fight, Mom! 922 00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:09,929 Go limp. Go limp! 923 00:39:10,097 --> 00:39:11,639 EMILY: No! Go limp. 924 00:39:16,687 --> 00:39:18,188 I have a real phobia about this. 925 00:39:18,272 --> 00:39:19,856 Of what? Being locked in a car trunk? 926 00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:22,317 Yeah, I think everybody's got that one, Mom. 927 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,946 EMILY: Oh, my God! I feel like I can get this. 928 00:39:27,114 --> 00:39:28,198 It's loosening. 929 00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:30,825 Hold on. Wait, I think I got it. 930 00:39:30,993 --> 00:39:32,994 Oh! Okay. Do me! Do me! 931 00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:37,916 No. I don't care. Okay. 932 00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:40,001 Okay. It's off. 933 00:39:40,127 --> 00:39:41,378 Oh, my God. 934 00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:47,884 EMILY: Oh, my God. We're stopped. 935 00:39:47,968 --> 00:39:49,677 Okay, he's out. What do we do? 936 00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:50,762 LINDA: I saw this on Dateline once. 937 00:39:50,846 --> 00:39:51,846 These people were trapped in a trunk, 938 00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:52,972 and they found these wires... 939 00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:54,057 EMILY: Wait, wires? I feel some wires. 940 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:55,308 Just grab it? Yeah. 941 00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:56,643 Should I pull it? Yes. 942 00:39:56,977 --> 00:39:58,812 EMILY: Oh! Oh, we're out! Okay. 943 00:40:01,023 --> 00:40:02,732 (BOTH GRUNTING) 944 00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:04,818 Okay. 945 00:40:06,153 --> 00:40:08,696 Okay, this way, come on. 946 00:40:08,864 --> 00:40:10,573 Mom, what are you doing? My knees. 947 00:40:10,658 --> 00:40:11,658 Keep up! 948 00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:13,284 Oh, shit! (GROANS) 949 00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:15,453 I told you not to wear your flip-flops! 950 00:40:15,621 --> 00:40:17,831 It wasn't flip-flop related, Mother. 951 00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:19,165 (BOTH EXCLAIM) 952 00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:20,583 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 953 00:40:20,668 --> 00:40:22,877 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 954 00:40:26,549 --> 00:40:27,882 EMILY: Oh, shit! Go, Mom! 955 00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:29,134 Go! Ola! 956 00:40:29,718 --> 00:40:30,718 LINDA: Oh, my God! 957 00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:32,429 EMILY: Mom! Come on! 958 00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:34,139 I'm trying! 959 00:40:36,809 --> 00:40:38,268 Come on! I'm coming. 960 00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:39,686 Watch out, Mom! He's right behind you! 961 00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:41,521 Emily! Come on! 962 00:40:42,064 --> 00:40:43,189 Oh, my God. 963 00:40:43,941 --> 00:40:45,024 Come on! 964 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:46,860 (DRIVER SHOUTING IN SPANISH) 965 00:40:47,361 --> 00:40:48,653 (CONTINUES IN SPANISH) 966 00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:49,737 LINDA: He's got my leg! 967 00:40:51,824 --> 00:40:53,283 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 968 00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,331 (EMILY GASPS) 969 00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:02,917 (LINDA GROANING) 970 00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:17,849 EMILY: We're stopped. 971 00:41:17,933 --> 00:41:19,684 This is the end of the line, whatever that means. 972 00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:21,436 Come on, honey. 973 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:23,938 Ma, do you think there's any way that, like, 974 00:41:24,023 --> 00:41:25,565 maybe that guy's okay? 975 00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:28,234 I saw his brains. 976 00:41:28,402 --> 00:41:30,195 Why can't you just make me feel better? 977 00:41:31,197 --> 00:41:33,448 Oh, my God. Thank you so much. 978 00:41:33,616 --> 00:41:35,116 You are such a sweetie. 979 00:41:35,201 --> 00:41:36,951 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 980 00:41:41,457 --> 00:41:43,208 What? Hector Morgado? 981 00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:45,126 (CONTINUES IN SPANISH) 982 00:41:46,837 --> 00:41:48,004 This is... 983 00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:49,506 Honey, he's nervous. 984 00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:51,799 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 985 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:53,176 EMILY: Wait, where are you going? 986 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:54,469 LINDA: Where are you going? 987 00:41:54,553 --> 00:41:55,970 EMILY: Should we get back in here? 988 00:41:56,138 --> 00:41:57,514 What are we supposed to do? 989 00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:00,975 LINDA: Okay, we gotta get out of here. Let's go. 990 00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:03,853 EMILY: What we need to focus on is that we got out. 991 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:05,480 LINDA: I don't know why I let you talk me 992 00:42:05,564 --> 00:42:06,814 into this in the first place. 993 00:42:06,982 --> 00:42:08,274 I should have stayed at the hotel. 994 00:42:08,442 --> 00:42:10,735 I can't fight with you right now. I'm starving. 995 00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:11,986 Do you hear my stomach? 996 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,905 It's, like, crazy. I'm so hungry. 997 00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:15,198 (LINDA EXCLAIMS) 998 00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:16,908 Oh, my God. LINDA: A phone! 999 00:42:17,076 --> 00:42:18,535 A turkey leg! 1000 00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:20,954 MORGAN: Mmm-hmm, hold on one second. 1001 00:42:21,121 --> 00:42:23,081 State Department, this is Morgan. 1002 00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,041 (MUFFLED) Please listen very carefully to me, sir. 1003 00:42:25,125 --> 00:42:26,459 My mother and I have been kidnapped. 1004 00:42:26,835 --> 00:42:28,211 Mmm, okay, where are you guys now? 1005 00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:30,463 Puerto Matias. 1006 00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:31,548 Puerto Matias. 1007 00:42:31,632 --> 00:42:32,799 That's in southern Colombia. Let me pull that up. 1008 00:42:32,883 --> 00:42:34,384 Will you hold on for one second? 1009 00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:36,261 They took us to Colombia. It's fine, it's fine. 1010 00:42:36,428 --> 00:42:38,221 It's just a different... (GASPING) 1011 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:39,764 ZIP code. It's so far. 1012 00:42:39,848 --> 00:42:40,848 Okay. 1013 00:42:41,016 --> 00:42:42,517 Okay, go ahead and get out a pencil and paper for me. 1014 00:42:42,601 --> 00:42:44,727 And write down "Calle... " 1015 00:42:44,895 --> 00:42:45,895 "Cali" what? 1016 00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,648 Is this a tall building that we need to get to 1017 00:42:48,816 --> 00:42:50,358 so you can pick us up on the top of it? 1018 00:42:50,442 --> 00:42:51,568 That's the address of the nearest 1019 00:42:51,652 --> 00:42:52,902 US consulate in Bogota. 1020 00:42:53,070 --> 00:42:56,281 Okay, but you have to actually come get us 1021 00:42:56,448 --> 00:42:59,993 because we are Americans in peril. So... 1022 00:43:00,077 --> 00:43:01,160 I'm sorry to tell you, 1023 00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:02,370 but any time you travel internationally, 1024 00:43:02,454 --> 00:43:03,454 you take a risk. 1025 00:43:03,539 --> 00:43:06,249 Most of Colombia is beautiful and very safe now. 1026 00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:07,875 With the exception of Puerto Matias, 1027 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:09,502 which is very much not. 1028 00:43:09,670 --> 00:43:10,962 So trust no one. 1029 00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:12,130 Good luck. 1030 00:43:12,214 --> 00:43:14,382 And thanks for calling the US State Department. 1031 00:43:17,636 --> 00:43:19,262 (SIGHS) (MUTTERING) 1032 00:43:19,346 --> 00:43:21,472 You talked to him. What'd he say? 1033 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:25,351 I think we're gonna need to make another phone call. 1034 00:43:25,519 --> 00:43:27,020 We're gonna get you out of this. 1035 00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:29,439 I don't know if you remember me telling you this 1036 00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:31,524 but Barb was in the special ops. 1037 00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:33,985 So she's highly trained for this type of situation. 1038 00:43:34,153 --> 00:43:35,695 Let me tell you a story about Barb. 1039 00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,947 We're on a limited time card. We really need... 1040 00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:39,782 1991, Kuwait. 1041 00:43:39,950 --> 00:43:41,159 Hot as fuck... 1042 00:43:41,327 --> 00:43:42,201 Hello? (BEEPING) 1043 00:43:42,369 --> 00:43:43,494 Hello? (BEEPING) 1044 00:43:45,497 --> 00:43:47,457 (SIGHS) Oh, my God. 1045 00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,167 EMILY: This place seems okay. 1046 00:43:52,546 --> 00:43:53,546 Hi. 1047 00:43:53,672 --> 00:43:56,466 Hi. When does the next bus leave? 1048 00:43:56,550 --> 00:43:58,301 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1049 00:43:58,385 --> 00:44:00,637 Bus doesn't leave for about 36 hours. 1050 00:44:00,804 --> 00:44:01,888 Oh, my God. 1051 00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:04,390 But I know a man who can take care of you. 1052 00:44:04,558 --> 00:44:06,976 Oh, yeah, I'm sure he could. Mmm-hmm. 1053 00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:09,062 This is how sex slavery starts, honey. 1054 00:44:09,229 --> 00:44:10,480 I'm so sorry. 1055 00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:12,398 Listen, no. You don't have to worry about that. 1056 00:44:12,566 --> 00:44:14,525 Those kinds of people want young, beautiful females. 1057 00:44:14,693 --> 00:44:15,735 You're safe. 1058 00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:18,738 Oh, well, yeah. That's good. 1059 00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:20,073 Okay, how dare you! 1060 00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,158 Like, that is so rude. 1061 00:44:22,326 --> 00:44:23,451 That's crazy. Well, honey. 1062 00:44:23,619 --> 00:44:25,161 No. Like, how dare you. That's my mother. 1063 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:26,329 Honey, have a peanut. 1064 00:44:26,413 --> 00:44:27,664 Okay, fine. But if you think it would be safer 1065 00:44:27,748 --> 00:44:29,165 for me to kind of, like 1066 00:44:29,249 --> 00:44:30,750 go hide and then she meets your friend 1067 00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:31,959 who knows how to get us to the... 1068 00:44:32,044 --> 00:44:33,294 No, I don't want you to do that. 1069 00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:35,129 No, you're both safe. 1070 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:37,090 How do you mean? 1071 00:44:37,257 --> 00:44:38,925 Your poofy face will protect you. 1072 00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:42,387 But, over there, that man is who I mean. 1073 00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:47,266 Can I help you, ma'ams? 1074 00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,102 He's American. America! 1075 00:44:50,437 --> 00:44:52,355 Oh, my God. We're Americans. Hi. 1076 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:54,273 I'm Emily and this is Linda. Hi, I'm Linda. 1077 00:44:54,441 --> 00:44:56,025 You don't even understand the ordeal 1078 00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:57,276 that we have just been through. 1079 00:44:57,403 --> 00:44:58,611 LINDA: Yeah, I mean, we were kidnapped. 1080 00:44:58,737 --> 00:45:00,029 EMILY: We really need to get to the US consulate in 1081 00:45:00,197 --> 00:45:01,572 Bogota? Right. 1082 00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:02,782 As soon as possible, kind of. 1083 00:45:02,866 --> 00:45:04,617 So, if you know the easiest way. 1084 00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:05,868 The easy way? 1085 00:45:05,953 --> 00:45:07,787 (ALL LAUGHING) 1086 00:45:11,917 --> 00:45:13,209 They were laughing at something else. 1087 00:45:14,128 --> 00:45:15,962 You're not going to find that in Colombia. 1088 00:45:18,132 --> 00:45:20,258 Ah, you've got mountain ranges to the north. 1089 00:45:20,426 --> 00:45:21,467 Mom, come on. 1090 00:45:21,593 --> 00:45:23,761 Jungles to the east and west. 1091 00:45:23,929 --> 00:45:27,306 And, well, the mighty one, the river, she's to the south. 1092 00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:29,934 There is no easy trek. 1093 00:45:30,310 --> 00:45:31,894 There's a reason they call Colombia 1094 00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:33,604 "The sack of the jaguar. " 1095 00:45:33,772 --> 00:45:35,648 I never heard of that before. I'll tell you what. 1096 00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:37,150 I've got a slow boat, headed down river. 1097 00:45:37,943 --> 00:45:39,902 I can take you east along the Amazon 1098 00:45:39,987 --> 00:45:41,028 and stretch it up north. 1099 00:45:41,196 --> 00:45:42,739 We should be able to drop you off close enough 1100 00:45:42,906 --> 00:45:44,615 that you can make it to Bogota without too much trouble. 1101 00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:46,200 Name's Roger Simmons. 1102 00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,535 The boat's docked just out back. 1103 00:45:47,619 --> 00:45:49,704 Crew's getting her seaworthy as we speak. So... 1104 00:45:49,872 --> 00:45:51,748 I'll check in with them then come back for you. 1105 00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:52,915 Thank you. 1106 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,000 Señor! 1107 00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:57,211 Chicken wings for the ladies. 1108 00:45:59,381 --> 00:46:00,798 You're safe with me. 1109 00:46:01,550 --> 00:46:02,550 Thank you. 1110 00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:05,344 (CHUCKLING) Yeah! 1111 00:46:05,512 --> 00:46:06,721 Slow boat! 1112 00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:07,972 Slow boat. 1113 00:46:08,056 --> 00:46:09,390 You wanna get the chicken wings? 1114 00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:10,767 That'd be great. 1115 00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:16,272 (EMILY MOANING) 1116 00:46:21,111 --> 00:46:23,070 Ma, stop. Don't, like, caress me. 1117 00:46:23,238 --> 00:46:24,322 Oh, sweetie. 1118 00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:26,616 You look just like you did when you were three. 1119 00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:28,743 Okay. You need to start dating again. 1120 00:46:28,827 --> 00:46:30,161 What? Yeah, you do. 1121 00:46:30,329 --> 00:46:32,747 Oh, please. Don't start with this again. 1122 00:46:32,915 --> 00:46:34,874 Why? I've been there, done that. 1123 00:46:35,042 --> 00:46:36,542 All right, I'm gonna pee. 1124 00:46:36,710 --> 00:46:37,919 Don't let them take the wings away. 1125 00:46:38,003 --> 00:46:39,045 Okay, honey. 1126 00:46:41,256 --> 00:46:42,423 (GRUNTS) 1127 00:46:42,508 --> 00:46:43,966 (SCREAMING) 1128 00:46:44,802 --> 00:46:46,010 Oh, my God. Help! 1129 00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:48,012 Mom! Oh, my God! Ow! 1130 00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:52,850 EMILY: Oh, my God. 1131 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:54,811 (MORGADO GRUNTS) 1132 00:46:55,437 --> 00:46:56,437 That's him. 1133 00:46:56,522 --> 00:46:57,730 That's the guy. Oh, God. 1134 00:46:58,315 --> 00:46:59,398 EMILY: Hi, sir. 1135 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:00,900 Remember us? 1136 00:47:01,026 --> 00:47:02,068 Shut the fuck up. 1137 00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:05,947 Why did you come to South America? 1138 00:47:06,114 --> 00:47:07,365 I didn't want to come. I never wanted to come. 1139 00:47:07,449 --> 00:47:09,200 For the cultural experience 1140 00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:11,035 and the Red Cross. 1141 00:47:11,453 --> 00:47:12,578 You come down here 1142 00:47:12,746 --> 00:47:14,247 you stay at your fancy resort 1143 00:47:14,414 --> 00:47:16,541 clutching your pearls. (CLICKING TONGUE) 1144 00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:17,959 Look at my people like you are at the zoo. 1145 00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:19,043 What the fuck? 1146 00:47:19,419 --> 00:47:21,170 You offer nothing here to them. 1147 00:47:21,338 --> 00:47:22,880 And you take everything. 1148 00:47:23,757 --> 00:47:24,966 And then 1149 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,553 you kill my only nephew. 1150 00:47:28,637 --> 00:47:29,720 Oh! 1151 00:47:29,805 --> 00:47:31,430 Oh, my God. Oh, no. No. 1152 00:47:31,598 --> 00:47:33,099 EMILY: We had no idea. LINDA: We didn't know. 1153 00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:34,851 We're new in town. EMILY: We're very new. 1154 00:47:34,935 --> 00:47:36,143 BOTH: He was cute. 1155 00:47:36,311 --> 00:47:37,478 He was fast. 1156 00:47:37,563 --> 00:47:39,480 You should have seen him in those last moments. 1157 00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:41,691 I'm sorry. But listen, you kidnapped us. 1158 00:47:41,859 --> 00:47:44,110 And that's what motivated that. So, like 1159 00:47:44,278 --> 00:47:45,278 that is on you. 1160 00:47:45,362 --> 00:47:46,696 LINDA: Okay. What? Wait a minute. 1161 00:47:46,780 --> 00:47:48,447 She's really such a good kid. 1162 00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:50,074 She is garbage. 1163 00:47:50,242 --> 00:47:51,409 No. 1164 00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:53,035 Yeah. Yes. 1165 00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:54,787 EMILY: Yes, I am. Yes, you are. 1166 00:47:54,955 --> 00:47:57,582 I am garbage. I have never voted. 1167 00:47:57,749 --> 00:48:00,209 I don't know any Spanish. I only know one word. 1168 00:48:00,377 --> 00:48:02,503 What they called me at my job at the restaurant. Puta! 1169 00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:03,838 Which I don't know what it means. 1170 00:48:03,922 --> 00:48:05,256 "Princess" or "pretty" or... 1171 00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:06,924 It means "whore. " 1172 00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:08,676 That checks out. 1173 00:48:08,844 --> 00:48:11,012 You took someone from my family. 1174 00:48:12,598 --> 00:48:14,348 I must take someone from yours. 1175 00:48:14,433 --> 00:48:15,474 (WHIMPERING) 1176 00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:18,895 That is the way it is. I didn't make the rules. 1177 00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:20,313 Not this one. 1178 00:48:21,857 --> 00:48:22,857 EMILY: Mom. 1179 00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:24,734 Okay. Okay. 1180 00:48:24,902 --> 00:48:26,777 Hold on. Look! 1181 00:48:26,945 --> 00:48:28,195 A spear gun. 1182 00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:29,780 I want you to take that, 1183 00:48:29,865 --> 00:48:31,324 and I want you to threaten him with it. 1184 00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:32,450 Okay, I'm gonna distract them. 1185 00:48:32,534 --> 00:48:33,534 Where are you going? 1186 00:48:33,619 --> 00:48:34,744 I'm gonna distract them! 1187 00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:36,037 You're distracting them? 1188 00:48:36,413 --> 00:48:38,998 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 1189 00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:44,253 (GAGGING) 1190 00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:46,672 My son! 1191 00:48:47,215 --> 00:48:49,550 My son! My only son! 1192 00:48:49,635 --> 00:48:50,718 (SCREAMS) 1193 00:48:50,802 --> 00:48:51,802 What? 1194 00:48:51,887 --> 00:48:53,387 Kill them! 1195 00:48:53,972 --> 00:48:55,806 I told you to threaten him. 1196 00:48:55,974 --> 00:48:57,058 That's his son? 1197 00:48:57,142 --> 00:48:59,018 Someone order a boat with a side of adventure? 1198 00:48:59,102 --> 00:49:00,603 Shut the fuck up, Roger! 1199 00:49:01,229 --> 00:49:04,482 My son! My only son! 1200 00:49:04,650 --> 00:49:05,900 EMILY: Go! LINDA: Let's go! 1201 00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:07,151 Manuel! Quickly, the boat! 1202 00:49:07,319 --> 00:49:08,486 Come on, Mom! 1203 00:49:08,570 --> 00:49:10,112 (MUFFLED GUNSHOTS) 1204 00:49:10,989 --> 00:49:12,365 (PHONE RINGS) 1205 00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:15,368 This is Morgan Russell. 1206 00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:17,119 Yes! Morgan Russell! 1207 00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:18,371 I'm the one that's been calling 1208 00:49:18,455 --> 00:49:19,455 about the Middleton ladies 1209 00:49:19,539 --> 00:49:21,374 and their situation down in South America. 1210 00:49:21,541 --> 00:49:22,792 Let's go get 'em. What's the plan? 1211 00:49:22,876 --> 00:49:25,211 Right, so, I told her to contact me 1212 00:49:25,295 --> 00:49:26,712 once she gets to Bogota. Mmm-hmm. 1213 00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:28,881 There's not much more I can do, unfortunately, sir. 1214 00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:33,219 Okay, I imagine that you have some kind of 1215 00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:35,096 commando squad. 1216 00:49:35,263 --> 00:49:37,181 Maybe, like, four underground criminals 1217 00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:39,725 who were tried for a crime they didn't commit. 1218 00:49:39,893 --> 00:49:41,519 And they've been living in the underground 1219 00:49:41,687 --> 00:49:43,145 kinda helping people along the way, almost 1220 00:49:43,313 --> 00:49:44,563 Sir, were you born in the '70s? 1221 00:49:44,648 --> 00:49:45,815 Yeah. Mmm. 1222 00:49:45,899 --> 00:49:47,483 That sounds like The A-Team. It is The A-Team. 1223 00:49:47,567 --> 00:49:49,151 Do you have an A-Team? 1224 00:49:49,319 --> 00:49:51,904 We actually disbanded that program in 1994, sir. 1225 00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:53,155 Fuck! Shit! 1226 00:49:53,240 --> 00:49:54,407 Okay, here's how you can help. 1227 00:49:54,491 --> 00:49:55,783 Pull out a pen and a piece of paper. 1228 00:49:55,867 --> 00:49:56,867 Okay. 1229 00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:59,078 And write down, "If you feel the urge to call again 1230 00:49:59,246 --> 00:50:00,621 "resist it. " 1231 00:50:00,789 --> 00:50:02,081 Wait. That's the advice? 1232 00:50:02,165 --> 00:50:03,374 That's what you're giving me? 1233 00:50:03,458 --> 00:50:04,458 Yep. 1234 00:50:39,911 --> 00:50:41,495 (LINDA SIGHING) 1235 00:50:42,789 --> 00:50:44,999 I don't remember the last time I had a drink. 1236 00:50:45,459 --> 00:50:46,792 (GRUNTS SOFTLY) 1237 00:50:46,918 --> 00:50:49,128 Mom, you need to relax. All right? 1238 00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:50,379 You're stressing me out. 1239 00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:51,630 I can't relax. 1240 00:50:51,798 --> 00:50:54,592 The most terrifying man I ever saw in my life 1241 00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:55,760 was going to cut us up 1242 00:50:55,844 --> 00:50:57,428 in little pieces with his machete. 1243 00:50:57,846 --> 00:51:01,140 And that was before you murdered his son. 1244 00:51:01,308 --> 00:51:03,100 Accidentally murdered. 1245 00:51:03,268 --> 00:51:04,810 But, Mom. What? 1246 00:51:04,978 --> 00:51:07,313 Can we focus on the positive? Because we are safe now. 1247 00:51:07,481 --> 00:51:08,647 We're safe? 1248 00:51:09,649 --> 00:51:11,442 You think we're safe? 1249 00:51:11,610 --> 00:51:13,027 Yeah, we're safe. We're on a boat. 1250 00:51:13,195 --> 00:51:15,154 Look how fast they found us! 1251 00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:17,198 I mean, I'm going to be looking over my shoulder 1252 00:51:17,324 --> 00:51:18,824 for the rest of my life. 1253 00:51:18,992 --> 00:51:20,367 And then when I go to sleep at night, 1254 00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:21,660 I'm going to have an image 1255 00:51:21,787 --> 00:51:25,581 of that spear going into that man's throat. Ugh! 1256 00:51:25,665 --> 00:51:27,333 Why would you bring that up, Mom? 1257 00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:28,584 Can't you just comfort me? 1258 00:51:28,668 --> 00:51:30,461 Can you just please be my parent 1259 00:51:30,545 --> 00:51:31,754 and make me feel better? 1260 00:51:31,838 --> 00:51:32,922 Do you want me to make you feel better? 1261 00:51:33,006 --> 00:51:34,006 Yes. 1262 00:51:34,132 --> 00:51:37,218 You are a very gifted murderer. 1263 00:51:38,512 --> 00:51:39,512 Okay. 1264 00:51:39,679 --> 00:51:40,846 You know, Mom, 1265 00:51:40,972 --> 00:51:43,015 just because you can't control this exact situation 1266 00:51:43,141 --> 00:51:45,184 does not mean you have to lash out at me. 1267 00:51:45,352 --> 00:51:47,478 I can't stop my hands from shaking, honey. 1268 00:51:47,646 --> 00:51:49,188 Maybe you need to chill out with the drinking, 1269 00:51:49,314 --> 00:51:50,481 just a little bit, Mom. 1270 00:51:51,024 --> 00:51:53,526 Look, Roger is gonna get us home. 1271 00:51:53,693 --> 00:51:54,902 Let's focus on that. 1272 00:51:55,070 --> 00:51:56,695 Roger's going to get us home 1273 00:51:56,863 --> 00:51:59,532 just like James was taking you out on a date. 1274 00:51:59,699 --> 00:52:00,699 Get it? 1275 00:52:00,867 --> 00:52:01,909 Judgment. (DOOR OPENS) 1276 00:52:02,369 --> 00:52:03,869 Linda, Emily. 1277 00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:05,788 Luis, here, just got word 1278 00:52:05,872 --> 00:52:07,456 that there's a boat 50 klicks back 1279 00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:09,375 looking for two American women. 1280 00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:10,960 Oh, God. Oh, my God. 1281 00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:12,962 Now, see? What'd I tell you? Okay, okay. 1282 00:52:13,046 --> 00:52:16,048 We have no choice but to slip off now onto a canoe. 1283 00:52:17,008 --> 00:52:19,468 I'll guide you through the sack of the jaguar. 1284 00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:21,137 Oh uh... 1285 00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:22,388 You know, it's funny. 1286 00:52:23,306 --> 00:52:24,557 I've been looking for adventure 1287 00:52:24,641 --> 00:52:26,892 ever since I got to this godforsaken land. 1288 00:52:27,060 --> 00:52:29,395 And now, well, now 1289 00:52:30,397 --> 00:52:32,898 it looks like adventure's found me. 1290 00:52:33,817 --> 00:52:35,526 Yeah. Yeah, it has. 1291 00:52:43,910 --> 00:52:45,578 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1292 00:52:49,749 --> 00:52:50,916 (LINDA PANTS) 1293 00:52:51,042 --> 00:52:52,751 LINDA: Oh, I'm weak, honey. 1294 00:52:53,587 --> 00:52:54,670 You should eat something. 1295 00:52:54,754 --> 00:52:57,756 Hey, Roger. Is this fruit okay? 1296 00:52:58,884 --> 00:53:00,092 Sure. 1297 00:53:00,260 --> 00:53:01,760 Okay. (COUGHS) 1298 00:53:01,887 --> 00:53:03,095 Oh, wait, do you mean, like, is it poisonous? 1299 00:53:03,263 --> 00:53:04,930 I don't know. Probably. 1300 00:53:05,098 --> 00:53:06,515 Oh, my God! (SPITS) 1301 00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:07,766 Ladies, listen to me. 1302 00:53:07,893 --> 00:53:10,227 There's always a risk if you want to feast on the sack. 1303 00:53:10,395 --> 00:53:13,022 At some point, you're gonna have to pick your poison. 1304 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:14,565 Starvation 1305 00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:15,941 or poison. 1306 00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:17,193 Mmm. 1307 00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:19,236 Vatmonos. 1308 00:53:21,740 --> 00:53:23,073 (WINCES) Oh! 1309 00:53:25,035 --> 00:53:26,035 Ow! 1310 00:53:28,121 --> 00:53:29,288 And, gosh, wasn't it weird 1311 00:53:29,372 --> 00:53:31,207 how soggy the wood was when I tried to light it? 1312 00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:32,291 EMILY: So weird. 1313 00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:33,876 Linda, thanks for stepping up. 1314 00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:35,044 You really did a great job. 1315 00:53:35,128 --> 00:53:36,295 Yeah. It's awesome, Mom. 1316 00:53:36,463 --> 00:53:37,630 Thanks, honey. 1317 00:53:38,215 --> 00:53:40,299 EMILY: Roger, why don't you tell us a story? 1318 00:53:40,467 --> 00:53:42,718 You've been an expedition guide for forever, right? 1319 00:53:43,136 --> 00:53:45,387 Expedition guide? Oh, that's flattering. 1320 00:53:45,472 --> 00:53:46,639 I haven't heard that one before. 1321 00:53:46,765 --> 00:53:48,140 Yeah, my story. 1322 00:53:49,142 --> 00:53:50,476 Uh, I've been here 1323 00:53:51,436 --> 00:53:53,145 three long weeks now. 1324 00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:54,980 First time on a plane. 1325 00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:57,316 'Til recently, I was a GM at a Trader Joe's 1326 00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:58,651 up in Rochester. 1327 00:53:58,735 --> 00:54:00,569 Although, one could say that 1328 00:54:00,737 --> 00:54:02,071 the way that store was managed, 1329 00:54:02,155 --> 00:54:03,239 that was the real jungle. 1330 00:54:03,323 --> 00:54:04,657 (CHUCKLES) 1331 00:54:04,741 --> 00:54:06,992 And then, well, my doctor said I was sick. 1332 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,495 So, I said to myself, "Roger! What the heck?" 1333 00:54:09,663 --> 00:54:10,955 "Go on down to South America. " 1334 00:54:11,122 --> 00:54:12,498 Oh, God. Are you ill? 1335 00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:14,959 Hmm? Yes, ma'am. Caught the travel bug. 1336 00:54:15,126 --> 00:54:16,418 Oh, the travel bug. 1337 00:54:16,544 --> 00:54:17,836 I thought he was saying... 1338 00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:18,921 And cancer. 1339 00:54:19,506 --> 00:54:21,924 Doc gave me, oh, a month to live, 1340 00:54:22,008 --> 00:54:23,509 which gives me about a week now, so, yeah. 1341 00:54:23,635 --> 00:54:25,010 I mean, because you're not just gonna 1342 00:54:25,095 --> 00:54:26,929 walk on in to the Amazon 1343 00:54:27,639 --> 00:54:29,848 if you're expecting to walk on out. 1344 00:54:30,016 --> 00:54:31,350 And so, yeah. 1345 00:54:33,603 --> 00:54:35,271 No. (CHUCKLES) Sure. 1346 00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:36,689 We got a big day tomorrow, huh? 1347 00:54:36,773 --> 00:54:38,857 So I think we need to catch a little shut-eye. 1348 00:54:39,025 --> 00:54:40,651 Someone needs to stand watch. 1349 00:54:40,819 --> 00:54:41,860 Why don't you guys take the first shift? 1350 00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:43,195 Wake me up in ten hours. 1351 00:54:43,363 --> 00:54:44,947 (GRUNTS) Oh, boy! 1352 00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:48,033 I don't know if I'll ever even be able to get to sleep. 1353 00:54:49,452 --> 00:54:51,036 (ROGER SNORING) 1354 00:54:57,210 --> 00:54:58,877 LINDA: God. Ugh! (SPITS) 1355 00:54:59,004 --> 00:55:00,713 Why are we still following him? 1356 00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:02,047 He's a cashier. 1357 00:55:02,215 --> 00:55:03,799 He's a manager, Mom. 1358 00:55:03,883 --> 00:55:05,134 Just stay positive. 1359 00:55:05,218 --> 00:55:07,219 Feel free to drink from any puddle you see. 1360 00:55:07,387 --> 00:55:09,013 All water in the jungle is safe. 1361 00:55:09,180 --> 00:55:11,724 You have no information. 1362 00:55:13,226 --> 00:55:14,560 (ROGER GRUNTS) 1363 00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:17,688 (ECHOING) Wait. 1364 00:55:22,652 --> 00:55:24,403 And just over this ridge 1365 00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:26,697 that's the quickest way to Bogota. 1366 00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:30,701 (CHUCKLES) 1367 00:55:31,745 --> 00:55:34,163 We're going to swing over to the other side. 1368 00:55:36,207 --> 00:55:37,583 One at a time. 1369 00:55:37,751 --> 00:55:38,917 I'll go first 1370 00:55:39,085 --> 00:55:40,252 'cause I'm the man. 1371 00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:43,922 ROGER: Ha-ha! 1372 00:55:44,049 --> 00:55:45,341 (SCREAMING) 1373 00:55:46,593 --> 00:55:48,093 (LINDA GASPS) 1374 00:55:50,597 --> 00:55:52,222 (SCREAM ECHOING) 1375 00:55:54,392 --> 00:55:55,517 Oh! 1376 00:55:57,937 --> 00:55:58,979 Fuck! Shit! 1377 00:55:59,105 --> 00:56:00,189 Okay, okay. 1378 00:56:00,273 --> 00:56:02,191 Oh, my God! This is bullshit! 1379 00:56:02,275 --> 00:56:03,275 Okay. 1380 00:56:03,401 --> 00:56:04,943 LINDA: Oh, my God! 1381 00:56:05,111 --> 00:56:06,278 Maybe he's okay. 1382 00:56:06,404 --> 00:56:07,529 Okay, okay, okay. 1383 00:56:07,614 --> 00:56:08,697 Okay. Okay. 1384 00:56:08,782 --> 00:56:10,032 Okay? Okay? Okay. Okay. 1385 00:56:10,116 --> 00:56:11,367 Okay. Okay. 1386 00:56:13,703 --> 00:56:14,870 (PHONE RINGING) 1387 00:56:14,954 --> 00:56:15,954 Russell. 1388 00:56:16,706 --> 00:56:18,040 Hello, Morgan. 1389 00:56:18,124 --> 00:56:19,375 (MORGAN SIGHS) 1390 00:56:19,459 --> 00:56:22,127 Sir, you've called 12 times today. 1391 00:56:22,295 --> 00:56:23,379 I've already told you. 1392 00:56:23,463 --> 00:56:25,547 I've been in touch with the US consulate in Bogota. 1393 00:56:25,632 --> 00:56:26,715 They put out an alert 1394 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,467 with the Colombian military and police. 1395 00:56:28,635 --> 00:56:29,927 All we can do is wait until we hear from them. 1396 00:56:30,887 --> 00:56:31,970 And I wonder what 1397 00:56:33,139 --> 00:56:34,807 Joanne would think about this. 1398 00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:38,477 Wait, did you say "Joanne" 1399 00:56:38,645 --> 00:56:40,604 like, my wife, Joanne? 1400 00:56:41,314 --> 00:56:42,648 Is this some kind of a threat? 1401 00:56:42,732 --> 00:56:44,733 (STUTTERS) No, I didn't say Joanne. 1402 00:56:44,818 --> 00:56:45,818 You said "Joanne. " 1403 00:56:45,902 --> 00:56:47,986 I said "Yo, Anne. " No, you said "Joanne" 1404 00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:49,738 like you've been on my Facebook page or something. 1405 00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:50,823 Let me tell you something. 1406 00:56:50,907 --> 00:56:52,741 You called an officer of the US government 1407 00:56:52,826 --> 00:56:54,410 and threatened his wife over the phone. 1408 00:56:54,494 --> 00:56:55,744 I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen right now 1409 00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:57,830 so I want you to get real quiet, okay? 1410 00:56:57,956 --> 00:57:01,500 If you call this number one more motherfucking time 1411 00:57:01,668 --> 00:57:03,293 I'm gonna show up at your house, 1412 00:57:03,461 --> 00:57:05,671 handcuff you to the bumper of your car 1413 00:57:05,839 --> 00:57:07,297 and drag you to federal prison, 1414 00:57:07,382 --> 00:57:09,007 where you will be skull raped 1415 00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,843 to within an inch of your life, 1416 00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:12,636 every single fucking night! 1417 00:57:12,720 --> 00:57:14,221 I don't think you're gonna enjoy that. 1418 00:57:14,305 --> 00:57:16,223 Oh, yeah? I'll come to your house, 1419 00:57:16,307 --> 00:57:17,808 and I'll fuck your dick. 1420 00:57:21,396 --> 00:57:22,688 You know what? Hold up. 1421 00:57:22,772 --> 00:57:24,314 (PHONE RINGING) 1422 00:57:27,944 --> 00:57:29,820 Yo, yo, yo! (MOUTHING) 1423 00:57:29,988 --> 00:57:32,030 "Yo, yo, yo"? That's racist, Jeffrey. That's fucked up. 1424 00:57:32,115 --> 00:57:33,115 "Yo, yo, yo"? 1425 00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:35,701 Yo, this is This is Derrick. 1426 00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:37,119 What's your last name, Derrick? 1427 00:57:37,203 --> 00:57:38,203 Black. 1428 00:57:39,247 --> 00:57:40,330 Now let me tell you something. 1429 00:57:40,498 --> 00:57:42,332 That threat you made is all fucked up. 1430 00:57:42,417 --> 00:57:44,960 I'm gonna come to your house. I got your address right here. 1431 00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:55,846 ♪ Picture this I'm a bag of dicks 1432 00:57:55,930 --> 00:57:57,848 ♪ Put me to your lips I am sick 1433 00:57:57,932 --> 00:58:00,058 ♪ I will punch a baby bear in his shit 1434 00:58:00,143 --> 00:58:02,144 ♪ Give me lip I'ma send you to the yard 1435 00:58:02,228 --> 00:58:03,645 ♪ Get a stick Make a switch 1436 00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:05,981 ♪ I can end a conversation real quick 1437 00:58:06,065 --> 00:58:07,524 ♪ I am crack I ain't lyin' 1438 00:58:07,609 --> 00:58:09,735 ♪ Kick a lion in his crack I'm the shit 1439 00:58:09,819 --> 00:58:12,070 ♪ I will fall off in your crib Take a shit 1440 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:14,990 ♪ Pinch your momma on the booty, kick your dog, fuck your bitch 1441 00:58:15,074 --> 00:58:16,408 ♪ Fat boy dressed up like he's Santa 1442 00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:17,993 ♪ And took pictures with your kids 1443 00:58:18,077 --> 00:58:20,954 ♪ We the best, we will cut a frowny face in your chest 1444 00:58:21,039 --> 00:58:23,165 ♪ Little wench I'm unmentionably fresh 1445 00:58:23,249 --> 00:58:24,416 ♪ I'm a mensch Get correct 1446 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:26,502 ♪ I will walk into a court While erect ♪ 1447 00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:28,253 LINDA: Okay, where do we go now? 1448 00:58:28,421 --> 00:58:30,339 Roger said it's just across the ridge. 1449 00:58:30,507 --> 00:58:32,424 Roger is dead. 1450 00:58:32,592 --> 00:58:33,675 I realize that. 1451 00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,636 Yeah, and he didn't know anything. 1452 00:58:35,803 --> 00:58:37,304 Just use the map, Mom. 1453 00:58:39,015 --> 00:58:40,057 LINDA: Oh, my God. 1454 00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:42,184 This is a placemat from a restaurant. 1455 00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:43,644 Everything will be fine. 1456 00:58:43,811 --> 00:58:45,896 Everything is not fine, Emily Louise. 1457 00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:48,023 Look where we are. Look where we are. 1458 00:58:48,191 --> 00:58:50,484 In the middle of the Amazon! 1459 00:58:51,736 --> 00:58:52,778 Oh, my God! 1460 00:58:53,446 --> 00:58:55,656 That's how desperate I am to spend time with you. 1461 00:58:55,823 --> 00:58:57,241 I see you all the time. 1462 00:58:58,326 --> 00:59:01,078 You see me when you need something. 1463 00:59:01,204 --> 00:59:02,246 That's not true. 1464 00:59:02,330 --> 00:59:03,413 Yeah, and you know what? 1465 00:59:03,498 --> 00:59:05,874 When I just say anything just remotely critical... 1466 00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:07,793 Wait! "Remotely critical"? 1467 00:59:08,586 --> 00:59:11,964 Mom, you flat-out insult me. All the time. 1468 00:59:12,048 --> 00:59:13,048 What? 1469 00:59:13,132 --> 00:59:14,341 It's not a good way to raise kids. 1470 00:59:16,010 --> 00:59:18,178 What do you know about raising kids? 1471 00:59:18,346 --> 00:59:20,305 What do you know about anything? 1472 00:59:20,473 --> 00:59:22,307 Except posting pictures of yourself? 1473 00:59:22,475 --> 00:59:25,185 Okay, well, I only post so many pictures of myself 1474 00:59:25,270 --> 00:59:27,771 because I want people to witness me 1475 00:59:27,855 --> 00:59:30,274 having an interesting, full life 1476 00:59:30,441 --> 00:59:32,526 and give me compliments in the comments. 1477 00:59:32,694 --> 00:59:35,571 You can do that without posting pictures. I do. 1478 00:59:35,738 --> 00:59:37,489 You have a full, interesting life? 1479 00:59:37,657 --> 00:59:39,533 You just check the locks all day. 1480 00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:41,868 And change the kitty litter. 1481 00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:44,705 You hide in your home with your adult son. 1482 00:59:46,082 --> 00:59:48,000 Are you saying that I've wasted my life? 1483 00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:50,377 I didn't say that. 1484 00:59:50,461 --> 00:59:52,004 You know what? You're wrong! 1485 00:59:52,088 --> 00:59:56,008 Because I had you. And I had your brother. 1486 00:59:56,217 --> 00:59:58,468 So don't you dare say I wasted my life. 1487 00:59:58,553 --> 01:00:00,262 I gave you everything I had. 1488 01:00:00,346 --> 01:00:01,638 Everything! 1489 01:00:01,806 --> 01:00:03,724 And I did it alone! 1490 01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:08,520 What the hell have you ever done for anybody? 1491 01:00:08,688 --> 01:00:10,480 For 18 years 1492 01:00:10,648 --> 01:00:12,357 your mother is the most important person 1493 01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:13,775 to you in your entire life. 1494 01:00:13,860 --> 01:00:15,485 And then... And then... 1495 01:00:15,653 --> 01:00:17,321 One day, poof! You're gone. 1496 01:00:17,488 --> 01:00:18,739 And then what are you supposed to do? 1497 01:00:18,823 --> 01:00:20,240 Like, just adjust? Just like that? 1498 01:00:21,117 --> 01:00:22,576 It's not possible, Emily. 1499 01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:25,162 You were mine. 1500 01:00:25,330 --> 01:00:27,039 And now, you're not. 1501 01:00:28,166 --> 01:00:29,374 And I... 1502 01:00:30,585 --> 01:00:31,710 I miss you. 1503 01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:33,420 Mom, I'm right here. 1504 01:00:34,589 --> 01:00:36,381 I'm the one who invited you on this trip. 1505 01:00:36,549 --> 01:00:38,216 I'm on this trip, Emily, 1506 01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:41,261 because you didn't want to drink Mai Tais alone. 1507 01:00:41,429 --> 01:00:44,389 No! You are the mergle fur! 1508 01:00:44,557 --> 01:00:47,225 What the hell is mergle fur? 1509 01:00:47,894 --> 01:00:48,894 Oh, Emily! (ECHOES) 1510 01:01:00,281 --> 01:01:02,240 Oh! (BOTH GASP) 1511 01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:03,617 (SPEAKS SPANISH) Thank God! 1512 01:01:03,785 --> 01:01:04,910 What's going on? 1513 01:01:05,078 --> 01:01:07,829 Honey, we're so lucky because I had to drag you 1514 01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:10,082 all the way through the jungle, looking for help. 1515 01:01:10,249 --> 01:01:12,167 And I ran into Dr. Armando and his friend. 1516 01:01:12,335 --> 01:01:13,335 Now, this is Maco, 1517 01:01:13,419 --> 01:01:14,503 who I've been teaching a little English. 1518 01:01:14,587 --> 01:01:15,837 No big deal. Go ahead. 1519 01:01:16,005 --> 01:01:17,381 Hello. Ah! 1520 01:01:17,465 --> 01:01:19,091 Good. That's great. 1521 01:01:19,258 --> 01:01:20,634 He's been assisting me 1522 01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:22,636 as I search local plants for a compound 1523 01:01:22,804 --> 01:01:24,429 that could potentially... Are you ready? 1524 01:01:24,597 --> 01:01:25,597 Cure cancer. 1525 01:01:25,765 --> 01:01:27,265 (GASPS) That is amazing! 1526 01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:28,975 I think so. Yes, thank you. 1527 01:01:29,102 --> 01:01:30,310 All right. Well, thank you, guys. 1528 01:01:30,436 --> 01:01:31,478 Thanks, Macho. LINDA: You ready? 1529 01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:33,188 Yeah, we're gonna head out of here. 1530 01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:34,815 Oh, you can't go just yet. 1531 01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:37,275 Um, you have a parasite in you. 1532 01:01:37,443 --> 01:01:39,111 What? What's that? 1533 01:01:39,278 --> 01:01:40,487 Here's the thing. Your mother told us 1534 01:01:40,655 --> 01:01:41,988 that you've been, like, extremely hungry lately. 1535 01:01:42,824 --> 01:01:44,491 And thankfully, when you passed out 1536 01:01:44,659 --> 01:01:46,118 you shat yourself. 1537 01:01:46,285 --> 01:01:47,285 Thank God. 1538 01:01:47,453 --> 01:01:48,662 Never seen so much shit. 1539 01:01:49,163 --> 01:01:50,831 (BOTH SPEAKING SPANISH) 1540 01:01:50,957 --> 01:01:52,708 (IN ENGLISH) Like a human, almost. Yeah. 1541 01:01:52,875 --> 01:01:54,626 Okay, we understand. It was a lot of shit. 1542 01:01:54,794 --> 01:01:55,752 Lots of shit. Yes. 1543 01:01:55,878 --> 01:01:56,878 I'm sorry. 1544 01:01:57,046 --> 01:01:58,422 But through that, we could take a stool sample 1545 01:01:58,506 --> 01:01:59,506 and test it 1546 01:01:59,632 --> 01:02:01,299 and determine that you have a tapeworm. 1547 01:02:01,467 --> 01:02:02,592 A tapeworm? 1548 01:02:02,677 --> 01:02:03,927 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1549 01:02:04,011 --> 01:02:05,137 Tapeworm. (ROARING) 1550 01:02:05,304 --> 01:02:06,722 What? Can I look at that? 1551 01:02:06,889 --> 01:02:08,807 Yes, please. A second opinion is... Yes. 1552 01:02:08,975 --> 01:02:10,016 Please, please, please. Go ahead. 1553 01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:12,811 So what's the treatment? Like a Z-pack? 1554 01:02:13,312 --> 01:02:14,813 If it's already affecting your appetite, 1555 01:02:14,897 --> 01:02:16,481 I think it's probably... 1556 01:02:16,607 --> 01:02:17,649 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1557 01:02:17,775 --> 01:02:18,817 (IN ENGLISH) It's pretty significant. 1558 01:02:18,943 --> 01:02:19,901 Oh! 1559 01:02:19,986 --> 01:02:21,361 Listen. We're out of praziquantel 1560 01:02:21,487 --> 01:02:22,446 so we're going to have 1561 01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:23,572 to substract it from you manually. 1562 01:02:23,656 --> 01:02:25,157 What? Manually? What? 1563 01:02:25,324 --> 01:02:26,324 With my manuals. 1564 01:02:26,492 --> 01:02:27,492 That's fuckin' gross. 1565 01:02:27,660 --> 01:02:28,660 Good news! Right now, 1566 01:02:28,786 --> 01:02:30,120 the tapeworm is really hungry, right? 1567 01:02:30,288 --> 01:02:31,496 So what we're gonna do 1568 01:02:31,622 --> 01:02:33,623 is we're gonna lodge open your throat 1569 01:02:33,791 --> 01:02:36,168 and dangle a piece of meat in front of your throat. 1570 01:02:36,335 --> 01:02:37,502 Try to coax it out. 1571 01:02:37,670 --> 01:02:38,712 It'll feel safe, but it's not safe 1572 01:02:38,838 --> 01:02:39,838 because I'm gonna pull it. 1573 01:02:40,006 --> 01:02:41,047 No! Slowly! 1574 01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:43,008 Slowly! Slowly! Then, slap it down. 1575 01:02:43,176 --> 01:02:44,384 Slap it down. Kill it. 1576 01:02:44,552 --> 01:02:45,886 You both have to pull it out? 1577 01:02:46,053 --> 01:02:48,138 It's a two-man job, ma'am. It's a two-man job, I'm sorry. 1578 01:02:48,306 --> 01:02:50,348 I've got a worm, Mom. I know. 1579 01:02:50,516 --> 01:02:51,725 Mom! I'm here. 1580 01:02:51,893 --> 01:02:53,852 Get the worm out, Mom. I'm your pillar. 1581 01:02:54,020 --> 01:02:55,020 Hello. 1582 01:03:03,446 --> 01:03:04,613 Oh, hello. 1583 01:03:05,990 --> 01:03:07,032 (EMILY WHIMPERS) 1584 01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:09,785 When will we know when it's working? 1585 01:03:10,411 --> 01:03:12,454 When we look into the worm's eyes, Linda. 1586 01:03:13,331 --> 01:03:15,248 (GASPS) Come outside and face me. 1587 01:03:15,416 --> 01:03:17,375 Yes. Show me your face. 1588 01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:20,796 Oh, here it comes. Okay. 1589 01:03:20,963 --> 01:03:21,963 LINDA: Okay. 1590 01:03:24,634 --> 01:03:25,550 (CHOKING) 1591 01:03:25,718 --> 01:03:26,676 Oh. What? 1592 01:03:26,844 --> 01:03:28,220 Oh, it's coming. It's making its way. 1593 01:03:28,387 --> 01:03:29,554 Okay, relax, I got this. Move. 1594 01:03:30,932 --> 01:03:31,973 (CHOKING) 1595 01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:34,351 EMILY: Knock me out! Knock me out! 1596 01:03:36,103 --> 01:03:38,480 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1597 01:03:42,568 --> 01:03:44,152 What are you doing? 1598 01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:45,529 Okay! Okay! 1599 01:03:45,738 --> 01:03:47,197 (SQUEALING) 1600 01:03:48,241 --> 01:03:50,116 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1601 01:03:51,035 --> 01:03:52,285 Help me. Help me! 1602 01:04:02,755 --> 01:04:04,756 LINDA: (SIGHS) It's not like at home. 1603 01:04:04,966 --> 01:04:07,342 JUNGLE DOCTOR: I bet. Oh, there she comes. 1604 01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:08,844 LINDA: Oh, look! 1605 01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:10,887 EMILY: Hi. Hi. 1606 01:04:12,098 --> 01:04:13,640 LINDA: Baby. Hi. 1607 01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:14,808 LINDA: (SIGHS) Do you feel better? 1608 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:17,018 I feel great. (CHUCKLES) 1609 01:04:17,103 --> 01:04:18,436 Oh, good. EMILY: Yeah. 1610 01:04:18,604 --> 01:04:19,604 LINDA: You did good. 1611 01:04:20,356 --> 01:04:22,315 Hi, Maco. Thank you. 1612 01:04:23,609 --> 01:04:25,235 Emily, this is a traditional gift 1613 01:04:25,319 --> 01:04:26,319 that the village made for you. 1614 01:04:26,487 --> 01:04:27,946 It's for protection while you're here. 1615 01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:29,614 For me? Yes, for you. 1616 01:04:29,782 --> 01:04:31,116 Oh, my God. 1617 01:04:31,284 --> 01:04:33,285 That's so nice. (LAUGHTER) 1618 01:04:33,452 --> 01:04:34,953 It's heavy. It's thick. (ALL CHUCKLE) 1619 01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:37,163 It's, like, hurting. Thank you. 1620 01:04:37,331 --> 01:04:38,331 It's tight. 1621 01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:41,626 Something Kanye would design. 1622 01:04:42,336 --> 01:04:43,545 That's great. 1623 01:04:46,632 --> 01:04:49,342 Do they just kind of do that all day? 1624 01:04:49,510 --> 01:04:50,552 JUNGLE DOCTOR: Oh, yes. 1625 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,637 When we got here, we provided a lift. 1626 01:04:52,805 --> 01:04:54,514 They used to have to walk miles up the hill. 1627 01:04:54,682 --> 01:04:55,807 But, much easier now. 1628 01:04:55,975 --> 01:04:57,350 That's very thoughtful of you. 1629 01:04:57,810 --> 01:04:59,060 And what do the men do? 1630 01:04:59,145 --> 01:05:01,146 They just kind of straight chill, or... (CHUCKLES) 1631 01:05:01,314 --> 01:05:03,690 Culturally, the women do the work 1632 01:05:03,858 --> 01:05:05,734 and the men, they provide the protection, you know? 1633 01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:07,652 Yeah. 1634 01:05:08,362 --> 01:05:10,071 That's fucked up. 1635 01:05:10,406 --> 01:05:11,489 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1636 01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:13,658 Not for the men. Yeah. 1637 01:05:17,663 --> 01:05:19,748 That's so cool. This is what you guys are up to. 1638 01:05:21,500 --> 01:05:23,585 Oh, I'm like in this now. Okay. 1639 01:05:25,338 --> 01:05:26,504 Ooh! 1640 01:05:27,173 --> 01:05:28,340 (EXHALING) 1641 01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:32,385 Emily! The doctor said he could get us to Bogota. 1642 01:05:32,762 --> 01:05:34,095 That is amazing. 1643 01:05:34,263 --> 01:05:35,347 Oh, my God! 1644 01:05:35,514 --> 01:05:36,681 Okay. Do I have a couple minutes? 1645 01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:37,974 'Cause I'm kinda helping... 1646 01:05:38,059 --> 01:05:39,768 Helping out the ladies. (CHUCKLES) 1647 01:05:44,523 --> 01:05:45,899 Thank you. (LAUGHS) 1648 01:05:46,025 --> 01:05:48,026 Come here, you know I got you, girl. 1649 01:05:50,279 --> 01:05:51,363 Look at you helping. 1650 01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:56,493 Yeah, I am helpful. (CHUCKLES) 1651 01:05:56,577 --> 01:05:58,495 Honey, you know, when I said that, I didn't mean... 1652 01:05:58,579 --> 01:05:59,579 What? 1653 01:05:59,705 --> 01:06:01,748 That I'm selfish or that I'm worthless? 1654 01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:03,041 Which part of our fight? 1655 01:06:03,167 --> 01:06:04,876 Emily, come on. I didn't mean that. 1656 01:06:05,044 --> 01:06:07,420 It's fine. I know how you see me. 1657 01:06:11,217 --> 01:06:12,717 Yeah? Okay. 1658 01:06:12,885 --> 01:06:14,469 (GUNSHOTS) (BOTH GASPS) 1659 01:06:14,553 --> 01:06:15,553 EMILY: Oh, God. 1660 01:06:15,721 --> 01:06:17,097 JUNGLE DOCTOR: Shit, shit, shit, shit. 1661 01:06:18,724 --> 01:06:20,350 Shit, shit, shit! 1662 01:06:21,268 --> 01:06:22,602 There's some very bad men looking for you. 1663 01:06:22,728 --> 01:06:23,687 They have guns. 1664 01:06:23,771 --> 01:06:25,522 They've blocked the main entrance. It's really bad. 1665 01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:26,690 We're fucked! 1666 01:06:26,774 --> 01:06:29,067 No, nobody's being fucked, okay? I got an idea. 1667 01:06:29,193 --> 01:06:30,735 I got an idea. Go, I'll stall them. 1668 01:06:30,903 --> 01:06:32,070 Go, go, go. Yeah? 1669 01:06:33,739 --> 01:06:34,739 (GRUNTS) 1670 01:06:34,865 --> 01:06:36,241 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1671 01:06:45,710 --> 01:06:47,210 Honey, get in here! 1672 01:06:47,294 --> 01:06:49,087 This won't hold both of us. I'm too heavy. 1673 01:06:49,213 --> 01:06:51,589 No, you're perfect. 1674 01:06:51,757 --> 01:06:53,174 You're just perfect. 1675 01:06:53,509 --> 01:06:54,926 Okay, hold on tight. 1676 01:06:55,094 --> 01:06:56,553 And, remember, when you get down there, 1677 01:06:56,637 --> 01:06:57,637 get to the embassy. 1678 01:06:57,763 --> 01:06:59,639 No, Mom! I want to stay with you! 1679 01:06:59,765 --> 01:07:00,765 Mom! 1680 01:07:00,933 --> 01:07:02,183 Mom! (GASPS) 1681 01:07:02,309 --> 01:07:03,560 Everything's gonna be okay. 1682 01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:06,938 I love you! 1683 01:07:08,399 --> 01:07:10,275 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1684 01:07:13,237 --> 01:07:14,654 (WHIMPERS) 1685 01:07:18,242 --> 01:07:19,242 (GASPS) 1686 01:07:22,538 --> 01:07:23,621 Oh. 1687 01:07:40,306 --> 01:07:41,806 (OWL HOOTING) 1688 01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:58,281 MAN: Hello. 1689 01:07:58,449 --> 01:07:59,741 Emily. 1690 01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:01,618 Hi. Hi. 1691 01:08:01,994 --> 01:08:05,080 We were able to get your items sent over from the hotel. 1692 01:08:05,164 --> 01:08:06,331 Any updates on my mom? 1693 01:08:06,499 --> 01:08:08,083 Oh, I'm sorry. There's nothing yet. 1694 01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:10,418 But we are gonna get you 1695 01:08:10,503 --> 01:08:11,920 an escort to the airfield base... 1696 01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:13,922 And then someone will get you home from there. 1697 01:08:14,340 --> 01:08:15,673 I'm not doing that. 1698 01:08:16,300 --> 01:08:18,843 I'm not going anywhere without my mother. 1699 01:08:19,011 --> 01:08:20,303 Can I be candid with you? 1700 01:08:20,471 --> 01:08:21,513 Yeah. What? 1701 01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:23,306 It's my third day. 1702 01:08:23,474 --> 01:08:26,017 And I guess everybody takes off on Fridays, 1703 01:08:26,143 --> 01:08:27,143 but they didn't tell me 1704 01:08:27,311 --> 01:08:29,020 because it's my third day. 1705 01:08:30,022 --> 01:08:32,857 So if you could just take your box and go. 1706 01:08:33,025 --> 01:08:34,275 I don't know what you're talking about. 1707 01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:35,527 I just need to find my mother. 1708 01:08:35,694 --> 01:08:37,112 That's why I'm here. 1709 01:08:37,279 --> 01:08:39,364 The only reason my mother even came on this trip 1710 01:08:39,532 --> 01:08:42,033 is because I made her. Because I am selfish. 1711 01:08:42,201 --> 01:08:44,285 And I need help finding her right now, 1712 01:08:44,370 --> 01:08:46,287 and I need you to be the guy that helps me. 1713 01:08:46,705 --> 01:08:49,040 Come on, man. Be that guy. 1714 01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:50,291 Who's the guy? 1715 01:08:50,459 --> 01:08:51,543 Not me! 1716 01:08:51,710 --> 01:08:53,211 It isn't. It's never been. 1717 01:08:53,379 --> 01:08:55,713 I'd love to be the guy who sweeps you off your feet 1718 01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:57,715 and is your hero and can save your mother 1719 01:08:57,842 --> 01:08:59,384 and take care of you and maybe we hook up. 1720 01:08:59,510 --> 01:09:01,010 I don't know. Wait, what? 1721 01:09:01,178 --> 01:09:04,139 But I'm just saying that I am not that dude. 1722 01:09:04,306 --> 01:09:06,891 So I need you to be that girl 1723 01:09:07,059 --> 01:09:10,061 who just takes your box and walks outta this office 1724 01:09:10,229 --> 01:09:11,980 before you draw any more attention 1725 01:09:12,064 --> 01:09:13,231 to the fact that I don't know what I'm doing. 1726 01:09:13,858 --> 01:09:15,400 Can I just use your phone? 1727 01:09:15,568 --> 01:09:17,902 Can you be the guy that lets me use his phone? 1728 01:09:18,070 --> 01:09:20,738 Yes. See? That I can do. 1729 01:09:20,906 --> 01:09:21,906 Come on. 1730 01:09:25,035 --> 01:09:26,161 (EMILY CLEARS THROAT) 1731 01:09:26,912 --> 01:09:28,079 (EMILY SIGHS) 1732 01:09:28,914 --> 01:09:30,081 I haven't been trained on the phone system. 1733 01:09:30,207 --> 01:09:31,499 Oh, my God! 1734 01:09:39,258 --> 01:09:40,258 Hello, Morgan. 1735 01:09:40,676 --> 01:09:41,676 Hell, no. 1736 01:09:41,844 --> 01:09:43,428 Choose your next move carefully, brother. 1737 01:09:43,554 --> 01:09:45,346 (BONES CRACKING) (GROANING) 1738 01:09:45,431 --> 01:09:46,848 Wait! No, no, no! 1739 01:09:47,016 --> 01:09:48,183 Don't touch me. Security! 1740 01:09:48,267 --> 01:09:49,434 Purell! Put on Purell! 1741 01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:50,685 I fucking hate germs. 1742 01:09:50,769 --> 01:09:53,938 Fucking shit! Let me have my day in court. 1743 01:09:54,106 --> 01:09:56,191 All right, wait, wait, wait! 1744 01:09:56,358 --> 01:10:00,028 Morgan, I'm a middle-aged man who never leaves the house. 1745 01:10:00,196 --> 01:10:03,114 All I have in this world is my mama and my sister. 1746 01:10:03,282 --> 01:10:05,033 And if something happens to them 1747 01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:06,784 then all I'll have is you. 1748 01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:08,953 And I'm telling you right now 1749 01:10:09,955 --> 01:10:11,414 I'm fucking annoying. 1750 01:10:11,957 --> 01:10:14,250 I've read all the Game of Thrones books. 1751 01:10:14,418 --> 01:10:15,627 I'll text you spoilers. 1752 01:10:15,794 --> 01:10:16,878 Please. (SIGHS) 1753 01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:18,713 (MOCK SOBBING) I don't want to go to an orphanage. 1754 01:10:18,797 --> 01:10:19,964 I can't be an orphan. 1755 01:10:20,507 --> 01:10:22,133 I need my mama! 1756 01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:24,552 Help me find my mama! 1757 01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:25,720 Thank you so much for answering. 1758 01:10:25,804 --> 01:10:26,804 I didn't know who else to call. 1759 01:10:26,931 --> 01:10:27,889 I'm all alone. 1760 01:10:27,973 --> 01:10:29,557 The guy I dealt with at the embassy was insane. 1761 01:10:29,642 --> 01:10:31,851 Emily, we're gonna get you through this. 1762 01:10:32,019 --> 01:10:34,354 But Barb wants me to let you know one thing. 1763 01:10:34,521 --> 01:10:37,357 She refuses to use sexual humiliation 1764 01:10:37,483 --> 01:10:39,192 as an interrogation technique. 1765 01:10:39,360 --> 01:10:40,485 What are you talking about? 1766 01:10:40,653 --> 01:10:41,736 Fine! She'll use it. 1767 01:10:41,820 --> 01:10:44,155 I don't care what she does. Just can you help me? 1768 01:10:44,323 --> 01:10:45,865 Meet us at the Presidente Apartments 1769 01:10:45,991 --> 01:10:46,991 at 19 hours. 1770 01:10:47,159 --> 01:10:48,284 ROSS: We're trying to use her cell signal 1771 01:10:48,369 --> 01:10:49,619 to narrow down their location. 1772 01:10:49,787 --> 01:10:51,537 Colombian military is setting up a couple stingrays 1773 01:10:51,664 --> 01:10:52,664 in the region now. 1774 01:10:52,790 --> 01:10:54,165 We can have a unit ready to go in by tomorrow. 1775 01:10:54,333 --> 01:10:55,667 JEFFREY: Well, we got a big problem 1776 01:10:55,834 --> 01:10:57,377 'cause that unit needed to be there yesterday. 1777 01:10:57,503 --> 01:11:00,171 I told you to shut the fuck up! 1778 01:11:00,339 --> 01:11:01,339 Okay. 1779 01:11:02,174 --> 01:11:03,174 Go ahead, solider. 1780 01:11:03,300 --> 01:11:04,884 ROSS: We've got reports coming in that puts them 1781 01:11:05,010 --> 01:11:06,344 about 50 miles outside of Bogota. 1782 01:11:06,512 --> 01:11:08,471 MORGAN: Yeah, that's Morgado territory all right. 1783 01:11:08,555 --> 01:11:09,681 Who's Morgado? 1784 01:11:09,848 --> 01:11:10,807 Who's Morgado? 1785 01:11:10,891 --> 01:11:12,475 Let's just say he's none of your goddamn business. 1786 01:11:12,559 --> 01:11:13,810 Let me come with you. MORGAN: No! 1787 01:11:13,894 --> 01:11:15,353 Please! Absolutely not! 1788 01:11:15,521 --> 01:11:17,188 I'll translate. You speak Spanish? 1789 01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:18,439 I speak Dothraki. 1790 01:11:18,524 --> 01:11:19,565 I speak Klingon. 1791 01:11:19,733 --> 01:11:20,733 You speak Klingon? 1792 01:11:20,859 --> 01:11:23,194 (BABBLING) 1793 01:11:23,404 --> 01:11:24,404 Nope. 1794 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:25,780 Know what that means? It doesn't mean anything. 1795 01:11:25,864 --> 01:11:27,490 I'm coming with. You're not going anywhere. 1796 01:11:27,574 --> 01:11:29,534 I think I see them right there. Is that them? 1797 01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:30,702 Little specks there? 1798 01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:31,869 Zoom in. Enhance. 1799 01:11:31,996 --> 01:11:32,954 You know, why don't you wait outside. 1800 01:11:33,038 --> 01:11:34,038 Go, go in the hallway. 1801 01:11:34,206 --> 01:11:35,206 Fuck! 1802 01:11:35,374 --> 01:11:36,666 MORGAN: Nerd. He's a nerd. 1803 01:11:37,584 --> 01:11:38,710 EMILY: So what's the plan? 1804 01:11:38,877 --> 01:11:42,380 We have someone here I think you're gonna want to see. 1805 01:11:44,675 --> 01:11:45,675 James? 1806 01:11:46,218 --> 01:11:47,302 Oh, my God. EMILY: What's going on? 1807 01:11:47,386 --> 01:11:49,387 Thank fuck. Emily. Listen, you've gotta help me, please. 1808 01:11:49,513 --> 01:11:51,055 We found him sitting at the bar, 1809 01:11:51,181 --> 01:11:53,224 chatting up another pretty young girl. 1810 01:11:53,392 --> 01:11:54,684 It's a scam, Emily. 1811 01:11:54,852 --> 01:11:57,395 Yeah, so Barb waited for him outside 1812 01:11:57,563 --> 01:12:00,148 smacked him in the back of the head, threw him in the car 1813 01:12:00,232 --> 01:12:01,607 and here we are. 1814 01:12:01,775 --> 01:12:03,318 It's not a scam. These women are crazy. 1815 01:12:03,402 --> 01:12:05,028 This whole fucking thing is insane. 1816 01:12:05,237 --> 01:12:06,237 Crazy? 1817 01:12:06,363 --> 01:12:08,197 Oh, you wanna know crazy? 1818 01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:10,950 You remember my platonic friend, Barb? 1819 01:12:11,118 --> 01:12:12,744 Oh, Barb! 1820 01:12:15,539 --> 01:12:18,249 We were supposed to go to the Arizona Gem Show 1821 01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:21,252 but instead, I'm here, fucking with you. 1822 01:12:21,754 --> 01:12:22,962 (CHOKING) 1823 01:12:23,088 --> 01:12:28,259 You should know that Barb spent her life in special ops. 1824 01:12:28,427 --> 01:12:30,261 Not that bullshit regular ops. 1825 01:12:30,429 --> 01:12:31,763 She's retired now 1826 01:12:31,930 --> 01:12:33,765 so she doesn't have her toolkit. 1827 01:12:33,932 --> 01:12:36,100 But she was able to improvise a few things. 1828 01:12:36,268 --> 01:12:38,061 Which, I'm pretty sure, 1829 01:12:38,145 --> 01:12:40,646 will all be applied to your dick hole area. 1830 01:12:42,608 --> 01:12:44,108 Esmeraldas! She's in Esmeraldas. 1831 01:12:45,235 --> 01:12:46,652 It's, like, an hour's drive from here. 1832 01:12:46,820 --> 01:12:48,154 We got a real Chatty Cathy here. 1833 01:12:48,322 --> 01:12:49,864 Give me a map. I can mark it on the map for you. 1834 01:12:50,032 --> 01:12:51,115 Write it down. 1835 01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:52,200 You want to start here... 1836 01:12:53,327 --> 01:12:55,286 Barb is really upset about this. She had plans. 1837 01:12:56,705 --> 01:12:58,373 Now this doesn't always show up on Waze 1838 01:12:59,541 --> 01:13:01,000 but you be sure to take that one 1839 01:13:01,126 --> 01:13:02,460 because it's the quickest route 1840 01:13:02,544 --> 01:13:03,628 if you want to avoid traffic. 1841 01:13:03,712 --> 01:13:04,796 EMILY: Okay. 1842 01:13:05,339 --> 01:13:07,131 Okay, let's go. Listen, Emily. 1843 01:13:07,299 --> 01:13:08,841 Be sure you check all the rooms. 1844 01:13:08,967 --> 01:13:10,510 She'll probably be held on the third floor. 1845 01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:11,844 One of the rooms in the back. 1846 01:13:12,012 --> 01:13:15,014 Do you have any loyalty to the people who hired you? 1847 01:13:15,682 --> 01:13:17,642 Hey, Emily, can I just say, as well, you... 1848 01:13:18,310 --> 01:13:19,685 Fuck, you look great. 1849 01:13:20,521 --> 01:13:22,063 Thank you. I got a tapeworm. 1850 01:13:22,231 --> 01:13:23,523 Well, it's working for you. 1851 01:13:23,690 --> 01:13:24,982 Hey, listen! Are we, uh... 1852 01:13:25,484 --> 01:13:27,151 Am I ever going to see you again? 1853 01:13:27,319 --> 01:13:28,361 Well, I don't know. 1854 01:13:28,487 --> 01:13:29,862 I guess if you're, like, in New York, 1855 01:13:29,988 --> 01:13:30,988 we could get a drink. 1856 01:13:32,991 --> 01:13:35,326 In your wet dreams, motherfucker. 1857 01:13:44,169 --> 01:13:46,212 ♪ I had this bad bitch Uptown, she was whoa! 1858 01:13:46,338 --> 01:13:48,923 ♪ Had me fucked up in the head I mean, whoa! 1859 01:13:49,007 --> 01:13:50,925 ♪ Bought the bitch diamonds And pearls, I mean, whoa! 1860 01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:54,595 ♪ Shoulda seen them shits shinnin' on her wrist, whoa ♪ 1861 01:13:54,930 --> 01:13:56,389 (WHISPERS) Be super quiet. 1862 01:13:57,015 --> 01:13:58,808 FEMALE GPS VOICE: You have arrived at your destination. 1863 01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:00,059 (ALL EXCLAIM) EMILY: Fix it! 1864 01:14:00,144 --> 01:14:01,185 (BEEPS) 1865 01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:04,605 Let's go get your mom. 1866 01:14:28,630 --> 01:14:30,256 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1867 01:14:37,347 --> 01:14:38,764 Just walk. Huh? 1868 01:14:42,227 --> 01:14:43,269 (DOOR CLOSES) 1869 01:14:45,731 --> 01:14:47,523 (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) Ow! 1870 01:14:56,533 --> 01:14:57,533 Shh! Okay. 1871 01:14:57,618 --> 01:14:58,868 (WHISPERING) We're all gonna jump down there, 1872 01:14:58,952 --> 01:14:59,952 sneak past those guys 1873 01:15:00,037 --> 01:15:01,037 and get your mom. 1874 01:15:01,121 --> 01:15:02,121 Okay. 1875 01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:13,508 (VEHICLE ENGINE STARTS) 1876 01:15:24,061 --> 01:15:25,520 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1877 01:15:34,071 --> 01:15:35,780 (TV PLAYING) 1878 01:15:38,867 --> 01:15:40,493 (PEOPLE WHOOPING) 1879 01:15:42,162 --> 01:15:44,121 (PEOPLE CHATTERING IN SPANISH) 1880 01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:00,388 Fuck, fuck, fuck 1881 01:16:11,650 --> 01:16:13,484 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1882 01:16:13,652 --> 01:16:14,652 (LOCK RATTLES) 1883 01:16:20,409 --> 01:16:21,409 (GASPS) 1884 01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:30,459 (GASPS) 1885 01:16:30,544 --> 01:16:31,627 Oh, honey! 1886 01:16:31,795 --> 01:16:33,337 I made a shiv. 1887 01:16:34,590 --> 01:16:36,007 (SOBS) You're alive. 1888 01:16:36,174 --> 01:16:37,425 Oh, my God, Mom. 1889 01:16:37,509 --> 01:16:38,968 I'm so sorry I got you into all of this. 1890 01:16:39,636 --> 01:16:40,678 (SHUSHING) 1891 01:16:40,762 --> 01:16:41,762 I should have just listened to you. 1892 01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:42,847 I should have listened to you. 1893 01:16:42,931 --> 01:16:43,931 That's okay. 1894 01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:47,685 You're always there. If I'm sad or lonely. 1895 01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:50,271 And it's 3:00 in the morning, I call 1896 01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:52,356 and you answer. 1897 01:16:52,524 --> 01:16:53,983 You always answer. 1898 01:16:54,151 --> 01:16:55,693 I know, I know. 1899 01:16:55,861 --> 01:16:57,445 You're that person for me, Mom. 1900 01:16:57,613 --> 01:16:59,238 Okay, honey. (SHUSHES) 1901 01:16:59,364 --> 01:17:00,781 I'm so sorry. 1902 01:17:01,575 --> 01:17:03,117 I love you. 1903 01:17:03,285 --> 01:17:04,285 I love you. 1904 01:17:04,369 --> 01:17:07,246 Honey, this is a really long hug. 1905 01:17:07,414 --> 01:17:09,373 Can we have just one more second? 1906 01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:10,916 I really thought you were dead. 1907 01:17:11,043 --> 01:17:11,959 This is great, 1908 01:17:12,044 --> 01:17:13,502 but we really got to get the fuck out of here. 1909 01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:14,587 Okay, okay. 1910 01:17:22,721 --> 01:17:24,263 (DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE) 1911 01:17:24,806 --> 01:17:26,140 LINDA: Okay, okay. 1912 01:17:27,476 --> 01:17:29,477 (BOTH GROANING) 1913 01:17:39,571 --> 01:17:40,571 (GRUNTING) Okay. 1914 01:17:42,741 --> 01:17:43,824 The car's over here. 1915 01:17:44,618 --> 01:17:45,826 LINDA: Oh, my God. EMILY: Are you okay? 1916 01:17:46,453 --> 01:17:47,453 No. 1917 01:17:49,623 --> 01:17:51,290 (TIRES SQUEAL) (BOTH SCREAMING) 1918 01:17:51,416 --> 01:17:52,500 BOTH: Oh, my God! 1919 01:17:53,085 --> 01:17:54,043 LINDA: Put up the window. 1920 01:17:54,127 --> 01:17:56,295 Do you have some cyanide we could take, or something? 1921 01:17:56,421 --> 01:17:57,838 Oh, my God! Hurry up! Hurry up! 1922 01:17:58,590 --> 01:18:00,091 (LINDA SCREAMS) Oh, my God! 1923 01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:01,801 Oh, my God. 1924 01:18:03,261 --> 01:18:05,596 It doesn't hurt too much, but roll it down. 1925 01:18:05,764 --> 01:18:06,722 No. 1926 01:18:06,807 --> 01:18:08,265 Roll it down, pendeja. No! 1927 01:18:08,350 --> 01:18:09,392 Push the fucking button. 1928 01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:11,268 I can't, pendeja. It's broken. 1929 01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:12,395 It's broken? 1930 01:18:12,521 --> 01:18:13,521 Yeah, sorry. Goodbye. 1931 01:18:14,022 --> 01:18:16,273 (SCREAMING) 1932 01:18:18,485 --> 01:18:19,568 Hi! 1933 01:18:19,653 --> 01:18:20,695 No! No! No! 1934 01:18:20,821 --> 01:18:22,488 No! No! 1935 01:18:22,614 --> 01:18:23,614 No! 1936 01:18:24,616 --> 01:18:26,200 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1937 01:18:27,452 --> 01:18:28,452 (CHOKES) 1938 01:18:28,537 --> 01:18:29,495 No! 1939 01:18:29,663 --> 01:18:31,622 Now, I'm gonna kill you. 1940 01:18:31,790 --> 01:18:33,499 Don't touch my daughter! (GRUNTS) 1941 01:18:34,793 --> 01:18:35,793 (COUGHS) 1942 01:18:35,961 --> 01:18:37,461 (BOTH GROANING) 1943 01:18:41,216 --> 01:18:42,216 Don't move! 1944 01:18:45,887 --> 01:18:46,804 Now what? 1945 01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:48,514 Do you wanna dance? 1946 01:18:48,640 --> 01:18:49,640 (MOCK HUMS) 1947 01:18:51,309 --> 01:18:53,060 (EMILY GRUNTS) (GROANS) 1948 01:18:53,478 --> 01:18:54,478 Yes! 1949 01:18:54,646 --> 01:18:56,313 Nice kick, malparida. 1950 01:18:56,481 --> 01:18:57,815 Nice kick. 1951 01:18:57,983 --> 01:18:58,983 Now 1952 01:18:59,818 --> 01:19:02,695 let me show you my dance. 1953 01:19:03,029 --> 01:19:04,029 Oh, my God. 1954 01:19:04,197 --> 01:19:05,197 (SOFT WHISTLE) 1955 01:19:06,491 --> 01:19:08,409 (MORGADO SCREAMING) 1956 01:19:12,914 --> 01:19:14,373 (BOTH CHUCKLE) (WHISTLES) 1957 01:19:19,087 --> 01:19:20,671 Ugh! Okay. 1958 01:19:20,839 --> 01:19:23,007 I beg you. Don't shoot me. 1959 01:19:23,175 --> 01:19:25,092 You fucked with the wrong bitches. 1960 01:19:25,260 --> 01:19:26,343 Yeah, you did. 1961 01:19:27,429 --> 01:19:29,221 Kill him, Mom. No. I can't. 1962 01:19:29,389 --> 01:19:30,514 This is a mom thing. 1963 01:19:30,682 --> 01:19:32,057 No, this isn't a mom thing. You got this. 1964 01:19:32,184 --> 01:19:33,851 It's not what I do well. EMILY: I don't do it well. 1965 01:19:33,935 --> 01:19:35,186 You did it before. 1966 01:19:35,312 --> 01:19:36,520 Those were accidental. 1967 01:19:36,688 --> 01:19:38,147 I can't hold it anymore. 1968 01:19:38,231 --> 01:19:39,857 Okay, here I go. Go! 1969 01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:41,233 I'm gonna count down, I'm gonna do it. 1970 01:19:41,359 --> 01:19:42,318 Please. Please. 1971 01:19:42,402 --> 01:19:43,444 100... 1972 01:19:44,279 --> 01:19:45,654 99... 1973 01:19:45,739 --> 01:19:47,406 (VEHICLES APPROACHING) 1974 01:19:53,038 --> 01:19:54,038 Oh, fuck! 1975 01:19:54,581 --> 01:19:55,581 Oh, thank God! 1976 01:19:55,707 --> 01:19:56,707 Come on. Kill me. 1977 01:19:56,833 --> 01:19:57,875 Now I'm getting the confidence. 1978 01:19:58,001 --> 01:19:59,210 Give me that thing. Oh, okay. 1979 01:19:59,336 --> 01:20:01,128 No, I can't do that. I just got excited. 1980 01:20:01,213 --> 01:20:02,379 Don't move! 1981 01:20:02,839 --> 01:20:04,048 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1982 01:20:05,008 --> 01:20:06,509 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1983 01:20:07,219 --> 01:20:08,385 (GRUNTS) 1984 01:20:09,888 --> 01:20:11,222 I will kill you. 1985 01:20:12,057 --> 01:20:14,558 Very rude! Very rude! 1986 01:20:21,066 --> 01:20:23,776 Here we go. Moving in hot. 1987 01:20:23,944 --> 01:20:25,861 This is what we trained for. You, on the roof. 1988 01:20:26,029 --> 01:20:27,029 You, on the roof. 1989 01:20:27,572 --> 01:20:29,573 You, also on the roof. Everyone on the roof. 1990 01:20:30,534 --> 01:20:31,534 I know you're scared... 1991 01:20:31,701 --> 01:20:34,453 Again, shut the fuck up, man! 1992 01:20:34,621 --> 01:20:36,247 Okay? Okay. 1993 01:20:36,414 --> 01:20:37,748 Jeffrey. What? 1994 01:20:37,916 --> 01:20:38,958 Jeffrey! 1995 01:20:39,751 --> 01:20:40,751 Mama... 1996 01:20:41,753 --> 01:20:43,754 Mama! Mama! 1997 01:20:44,756 --> 01:20:45,965 Mama! 1998 01:20:46,091 --> 01:20:47,591 (SOBBING) Mama! 1999 01:20:49,219 --> 01:20:50,803 (INAUDIBLE) 2000 01:20:58,979 --> 01:21:00,271 I missed you. 2001 01:21:00,438 --> 01:21:03,440 (LAUGHING) Oh, my God! I'm so happy to see you. 2002 01:21:03,608 --> 01:21:04,775 I left the house. 2003 01:21:04,901 --> 01:21:06,026 EMILY: You left the house. 2004 01:21:06,111 --> 01:21:07,570 I made all these men come... 2005 01:21:07,737 --> 01:21:08,863 EMILY: What? Oh! 2006 01:21:08,947 --> 01:21:11,156 Here! I made them come here to get you. 2007 01:21:12,492 --> 01:21:14,118 I missed you! I missed you, too! 2008 01:21:14,286 --> 01:21:16,412 Hey. Agent Russell. 2009 01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:17,872 Let me take that from you. 2010 01:21:17,956 --> 01:21:19,248 Good job with Morgado. 2011 01:21:19,416 --> 01:21:20,833 We've been looking for him for a while. 2012 01:21:20,959 --> 01:21:22,751 Oh, my God. He's so mean. 2013 01:21:22,919 --> 01:21:24,920 Anyway, your brother really cares about you. 2014 01:21:25,422 --> 01:21:26,797 Mama! 2015 01:21:27,173 --> 01:21:28,465 He's a real bummer. 2016 01:21:28,633 --> 01:21:30,092 Oh, yeah. The worst. 2017 01:21:30,176 --> 01:21:31,969 Yep. Awful. Full agreement. 2018 01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:33,971 Morgan. Morgan! 2019 01:21:34,139 --> 01:21:35,180 (YELLS) What? 2020 01:21:37,183 --> 01:21:38,183 Thank you. 2021 01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:44,982 You're the best! 2022 01:21:45,150 --> 01:21:47,484 You're the best! Thank you for your help. 2023 01:21:47,611 --> 01:21:49,445 (ALL LAUGHING) 2024 01:21:50,322 --> 01:21:52,156 I wanna go home so fucking bad. 2025 01:21:52,282 --> 01:21:53,657 I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. 2026 01:22:10,383 --> 01:22:11,634 (ENGINE TURNS OFF) 2027 01:22:13,803 --> 01:22:15,638 Let's get the fuck out of here! 2028 01:22:22,020 --> 01:22:23,020 (ALL CHEERING) 2029 01:22:23,188 --> 01:22:24,229 (MALAY MUSIC PLAYING) 2030 01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:40,871 Can I have just whatever everyone is drinking? 2031 01:22:41,039 --> 01:22:42,164 Just, like, your signature thing. 2032 01:22:42,248 --> 01:22:43,248 Yeah. 2033 01:22:47,545 --> 01:22:48,712 Hi. 2034 01:22:49,422 --> 01:22:50,756 Hey. 2035 01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:52,549 What brings you down here? 2036 01:22:53,093 --> 01:22:54,176 Oh, uh... 2037 01:22:54,260 --> 01:22:55,678 I'm actually volunteering. 2038 01:22:55,845 --> 01:22:56,887 That's awesome. 2039 01:22:57,055 --> 01:22:58,597 Yeah, it's really fun. 2040 01:22:58,765 --> 01:22:59,932 Can I get you a drink? 2041 01:23:00,600 --> 01:23:02,017 Uh... 2042 01:23:02,560 --> 01:23:04,103 I'm kind of here with somebody. 2043 01:23:04,229 --> 01:23:05,270 Oh. 2044 01:23:05,397 --> 01:23:06,563 LINDA: Honey! Hi, Mom! 2045 01:23:06,731 --> 01:23:08,023 Oh, God, this is so fun! 2046 01:23:08,191 --> 01:23:09,274 Isn't it? I know. 2047 01:23:09,442 --> 01:23:12,069 Okay, so anyway, I met this fascinating woman over there. 2048 01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:13,737 And she's gonna take us to her home 2049 01:23:13,905 --> 01:23:15,614 and she's gonna teach us how to make murtabak. 2050 01:23:15,782 --> 01:23:17,616 What is that? It's a stuffed pancake. 2051 01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:18,784 Awesome! 2052 01:23:18,952 --> 01:23:20,869 I'm gonna go make a request because I want to dance. 2053 01:23:21,037 --> 01:23:22,079 Oh, I love you. 2054 01:23:22,205 --> 01:23:23,247 (LAUGHING) I love you. 2055 01:23:25,959 --> 01:23:27,376 You're here with your mother. 2056 01:23:27,544 --> 01:23:29,128 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 2057 01:23:29,879 --> 01:23:31,088 Why? (CHUCKLES) 2058 01:23:31,881 --> 01:23:33,048 Um... 2059 01:23:40,807 --> 01:23:42,808 She's fucking awesome. 2060 01:23:44,227 --> 01:23:45,561 That's really sweet. 2061 01:23:46,938 --> 01:23:48,105 Her tit is out. 2062 01:23:48,273 --> 01:23:49,273 Wait, what? 2063 01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:50,941 Oh, Mom! 2064 01:23:54,279 --> 01:23:56,363 ♪ Oh, dancing with myself 2065 01:23:56,448 --> 01:23:58,866 ♪ Well there's nothing to lose And there's nothing to prove 2066 01:23:58,950 --> 01:24:01,744 ♪ I'll be dancing with myself 2067 01:24:05,123 --> 01:24:07,541 ♪ If I looked all over the world 2068 01:24:07,625 --> 01:24:10,127 ♪ And there's every type of girl 2069 01:24:10,253 --> 01:24:13,047 ♪ But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by 2070 01:24:13,131 --> 01:24:15,549 ♪ Leave me dancing with myself 2071 01:24:15,633 --> 01:24:18,469 ♪ So let's sink another drink 2072 01:24:18,553 --> 01:24:21,388 ♪ 'Cause it'll give me time to think 2073 01:24:21,473 --> 01:24:23,724 ♪ If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance 2074 01:24:23,808 --> 01:24:26,643 ♪ And I'll be dancing with myself 2075 01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:31,899 ♪ Oh, dancing with myself Oh, oh, dancing with myself 2076 01:24:31,983 --> 01:24:34,735 ♪ Well there's nothing to lose And there's nothing to prove 2077 01:24:34,819 --> 01:24:37,821 ♪ I'll be dancing with myself 2078 01:24:39,449 --> 01:24:41,617 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 2079 01:24:42,452 --> 01:24:44,119 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 2080 01:24:44,662 --> 01:24:46,997 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 2081 01:25:10,021 --> 01:25:12,689 ♪ If I looked all over the world 2082 01:25:12,774 --> 01:25:15,275 ♪ And there's every type of girl 2083 01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,945 ♪ But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by ♪ 2084 01:25:18,029 --> 01:25:19,154 JEFFREY: Mama! 2085 01:25:20,698 --> 01:25:23,367 ♪ So let's sink another drink 2086 01:25:23,451 --> 01:25:26,036 ♪ 'Cause it'll give me time to think 2087 01:25:26,162 --> 01:25:28,956 ♪ If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance 2088 01:25:29,040 --> 01:25:31,542 ♪ And I'll be dancing with myself 2089 01:25:31,668 --> 01:25:36,880 ♪ Oh, oh, dancing with myself Oh, oh, dancing with myself 2090 01:25:37,006 --> 01:25:39,716 ♪ If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance 2091 01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:42,386 ♪ If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance 2092 01:25:42,512 --> 01:25:47,391 ♪ If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance 2093 01:25:47,517 --> 01:25:49,518 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 2094 01:25:53,064 --> 01:25:55,065 (SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)