- ♪ MTV ♪
- Previously on "All Stars"...
On this season of "All Stars," there's a new twist
that will make this competition extra-special.
- What?
- I'm too old for surprises.
My heart can't take it, OK?
Just let me know.
- You can't send me home.
- I will never if you promise that if I'm ever in the bottom
that you won't send me home.
- Heidi, Jimbo, and myself were on tour before coming
onto this competition.
So automatically we are going to be really great friends.
- This week we challenged our all stars
to perform new mixes of the club classic "Money,
Success, Fame, Glamour."
Kahanna Montrese.
- Your presence was undeniable.
- Thank you.
- Darienne Lake.
- I noticed a few choreographed things that
might have been uncertain.
- Monica Beverly Hillz.
- I think the issue for you is, you're nervous.
I could see it, and I could feel it.
- Darienne Lake, Monica Beverly Hillz, you are the bottom two
all stars of the week.
Kahanna Montrese, condragulations,
you are the top all star of the week.
[applause]
- Thank you.
- It's time to present this week's lip sync assassin.
[all screaming]
Aja LaBeija, you're a winner, baby.
The $10,000 will roll over to next week's tip.
This season there are two ways to win.
The traditional way and the second way
gives the eliminated queens a chance to compete
in the online Fame Game.
In "Untucked" and online, we'll showcase the runway looks
of all the eliminated queens.
Any additional content that the eliminated queens
wish to post on their socials is up to them.
Fans will vote to determine which one will win
the title Queen of the Fame Game
plus a cash prize of $50,000.
[all cheering]
Which queen has the group chosen to get the chop?
- Monica.
- Monica Beverly Hillz, sashay away.
[funky music]
- [laughs]
Winner, winner, winner.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh.
Miss Monica.
- Oh, Monica.
- Monica has left us and reality
is setting in that we're about to start leaving one by one.
It's a domino effect.
So I just hope my domino's more towards the end of the line
versus the front of the line.
- "Stay true to yourself.
Love you all, Monica Beverly Hillz."
[together] We love you, Monica.
- That's the cleanest I've ever seen in that mirror.
[laughter]
- OK, next time I'm gonna put my butt cheeks on there,
see what it really do.
Tonight was my first win in "Drag Race,"
and that, girl, is everything.
They see me, you guys.
I'm here.
- Oh, that lip sync was it.
- You turned that lip sync, sis.
- Thank you. - The hairography.
- If I had my wallet, I would have thrown money at you.
- Kahanna, who would you have picked if you had won?
- Oh wait, do you have your lipstick on you?
- I do.
This one was really, really hard for me.
Monica when she walked in, I was gagged.
I'm like, yes.
But I had to choose her.
And I'm not happy about, like, having to do that process.
But my win is because of my team.
And you were a big part of my win, so...
- Is that like a size joke or?
[laughter]
- If you want it to be.
- I want to know what's going on.
- What's in that box.
- You should open it.
- I should open it?
- Yeah, do it.
- OK, first vote, Monica.
Second vote, Monica.
- OK.
- Darienne.
- Ooh.
- Monica.
Monica. Monica.
OK.
Darienne.
- Darienne.
- Oh.
- Darienne.
And the last one.
- Darienne.
- So one, two, three, six, seven, to four.
- Respectfully, one of them came from me.
And it had nothing to do against you.
We were sitting in "Untucked,"
and Monica was telling us her life story,
and it almost felt like to me
she was saying, "Please keep me here.
I have nothing to go back to."
- I have been through everything hell and back.
And I always come back to this.
Drag is all I know,
and this is what the fuck I'm good at.
- I just needed to at least try to save her.
- I feel the same way that Kandy feels about Monica.
- Darienne, I'm not going to lie to you.
I really wanted the extra closet space.
- Ah!
[laughs]
- I'm sorry.
I was really swayed by Monica's story, and I just--
- You're out of the will.
[laughter]
I'm not going to hold that against you.
And I'm not going to throw, like,
thumbtacks over in your station at all.
I promise.
- We can still be friends.
We're probably not loyal friends now,
but we can still be friends.
- As much as I'm thrilled to still be here,
the problem is, three queens here voted
for me to go home tonight.
I harbor no ill will towards anybody for voting for me,
but I'm also not going to forget it.
- But girls, what about the Fame Games?
The twist.
[all exclaiming]
- I love that twist.
- The cool thing about it is that the eliminated girls
get to show-- - The looks.
- The looks that they brought. - Yeah.
- And there's a prize.
- Yes.
- Getting the fans involved, their vote counts.
- They're gonna love that. - Yes, yes.
- Do you know what I love even more?
Getting out of drag.
[all yelling]
- Queen of the Fame Games.
That sounds fabulous, marvelous, sensational,
all the adjectives, OK?
And 50k, that sounds even better.
I could make some dreams come true with that money.
- One down.
- But in order to compete, you have to be
an eliminated queen, and I don't plan to be one of them.
[laughter]
I'm gunning for that 200k, all right?
I want the big prize.
I want that crown.
I like the sound of that.
Crown, crown, crown.
[dramatic music]
- One, two, three.
- [screams]
- ♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪
- The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars"
receives a one-year supply
of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,
a coveted spot in the "Drag Race" Hall of Fame,
and a cash prize of $200,000
with extra-special guest judge Robin Thede.
- ♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪
♪ May the best drag queen win ♪
♪ Best drag queen win ♪
[upbeat music]
- Yes, it's a brand-new day.
- Whoo-oo! - Yes.
- Chugga-chugga chugga-chugga chugga-chugga.
- Here we are. - Yes.
It's a new day in the Werk Room,
and the fact that I can come into
this bright, beautiful vulva.
I don't know, the pink walls of love.
I just think it's like Ru's innards and we're her babies.
[all screaming]
- Does anyone have any daily affirmations
they tell themselves? - Absolutely.
Every day.
- Heidi, you can blend.
Heidi, you can blend.
[laughter]
- Clearly those aren't working.
- Lies, lies.
[laughter]
[siren wails] - Oh!
She done already done had herses.
Hey, squirrel friends.
all: Hi.
- Now is the time for all sketchy queens
to come together, because we go live
in 3, 2, 1.
Hello, hello, hello. Hi.
[all cheering]
Ladykins.
Now, for this week's maxi challenge,
you'll be starring in the newest
sketch comedy show, "RDR Live."
- Oh boy.
[laughs]
#AllStars8.
Today you need to read through the sketches,
choose your parts, and rehearse the house down boots.
And tomorrow you'll be performing your sketches live.
[all groaning] - What?
- That's right.
One take.
Are you scared yet?
[laughter]
As someone who was lucky enough
to host "Saturday Night Live,"
I want to warn you, you need to be
more than just a pretty face.
You've got to be a real character
that can put your funny where your mouth is.
All stars, start your engines,
and may the best drag queen win.
[laughs]
[cheers and applause]
- Yes.
- Oh, Mary and Joseph.
[queens exclaiming]
- Grab the dossiers.
- Our maxi challenge is to star in sketch comedy
for the new show "RDR Live."
- Oh, if only I knew how to read.
- A lot's riding on me to do really well.
I was just in the bottom.
So if I don't get my shit together,
I'm going to be getting my shit together.
- If you watch a lot of "SNL," a lot of it is like dry humor.
- Yeah.
And you have one chance.
- Also that.
- It's live.
- Luckily Darienne Lake knows how to do comedy.
- OK, so.
- OK, so are we going through the character breakdown first?
Is that what we're going to do?
OK, so we have Jersey talk show sketch.
- A low-budget living room talk show
with two Jerseylicious hosts who
are obsessed with all things Michelle Visage.
Tangerine and Margarita, Tangerine's best friend.
- Ever since Michelle got rid of her big boobies,
I swear she's never looked more gorgeous.
I love it. Do you love it?
- I love it. Do you love it?
- I love it.
- Y'all kind of turnt that one with your accents.
That was like, that was good.
- Yeah, you guys were great.
- OK, the "Call Girls Gardening Service," a commercial sketch
for a landscaping company.
Cast is Jasmine and Fern, landscape service
owners, and Barb, a satisfied customer
of the landscape service.
- I could be the satisfied customer.
- Can I have Fern?
- I'll be Jasmine. - OK.
- My sister.
- Great.
Team Slut unite.
- Team Slut.
- I kind of want to do the opening host monologue.
- Yeah?
- Baby, that monologue is calling my name.
She is the host of the show.
She is the main bitch, you know?
She runs the circus.
So then that leaves a cold open sketch
that takes place at the CDC, the Center of Drag Control.
The cast is Dr. Ouchie and Dr. Blackwell, the CDC scientists.
- I'll do Dr. Ouchie.
- OK, so then that's taken.
- Then we've got "QNN News Update."
Cast is News Anchor 1, News Anchor 2,
and Pussy Jones, a cat activist who is also a cat.
[laughter]
- Oh my.
[hisses]
- Kahanna? - Pussy.
- Pussy Jones? - Pussy Jones.
- I would like News Anchor 1.
- I also would want one of the news anchors.
- News anchor for me.
- Do you have a second choice?
- News Anchor 2.
[laughter]
- So you're just news anchor, bitch.
- I know that's right.
- So Dr. Blackwell and the news anchor
are the ones that are left.
- So we want the same exact one, me and you.
- I really, really, really want this one.
In my head, I'm already a news anchor.
Good evening, good morning, good night.
Reporting to you live from "HNC News."
Get it?
HNC for Heidi N Closet.
- Girl, I think it's time to take some risks, ladies.
- I'll do Dr. Blackwell. That's fine.
- Are you sure, baby? - No.
It's totally fine, because when you're talented,
it don't matter what part you have.
- Ooh.
- That's the confidence we love.
- So I'm good.
We all got the roles we wanted except for me.
And I'm pissed.
- Well, that was easy.
- Yeah, that was easy.
- Ugh.
- Let's go get slutty.
- So exciting. - Do you love it?
- I love it. Do you love it?
- I love it.
- Hello, hello.
Thank you all for gathering on such short notice, ladies.
I'm afraid we've got some sickening news.
I'm performing in the cold open, the CDC skit.
Basically we are scientists who are trying to save the world
from an outbreak of drag.
It's rapidly spreading across the universe, even Uranus.
I'm not a trained actor.
I never went to school for this.
But I was recently a star, I like to say star,
some say co-star, but I say star,
in "The Bitch That Stole Christmas" on VH1.
So this is a challenge I can really excel at.
- There's a viral virus spreading
across the globe virally.
Not getting the part that I wanted,
it's going to motivate me to make this character
as big as I can.
And I am going all in.
If untreated, it can cause death.
[both gasp]
Drops.
Death drops.
- Naysha Lopez, she is trying to create
some type of character that really does
not make sense with the role.
- Excuse me.
- And it's kind of just like cringey to watch.
- Do you think it's good ditzy or what do you think?
- If you want my advice... - Yeah, yeah.
- I would say a little feedback is you're going a little fry,
like slow in with a vocal fry.
You could be a little, you know, dumber,
but like get the line out faster.
- Oh, get the line out faster.
OK, OK, OK.
- Because if you drag it too long, it kills the joke.
- Jaymes is a comedy queen, so I'm receptive
to her constructive criticism.
I'm going to do whatever I have to do to shine brightest.
- Let's get slutty.
- Our sketch is like a late night commercial
to convince you to come to the McCall
Girls Gardening Service.
- I know how to work a hoe.
- We are going to help you with your lady bush.
We service all your strange and freaky horticultural needs.
- Ooh.
- It's more like a hotline.
- My background is in theater.
- Oh.
- So you've got one take.
You do it in front of the audience.
So I'm totally comfortable being live
and doing it in one take. - And a slut?
- And a slut.
I am a clown, and I love making people laugh.
And so I feel like my background is going to be
an asset in this challenge.
- What do you think about the others?
How do you think they're going to be doing.
- Girl, I see you talking shit.
- Girl, I wasn't talking shit.
- Wait, are you feeling confident with the character
that you have?
The one you didn't want?
- Right.
- Blame Heidi.
- Hey, I mean, LaLa was in it too.
Hold on.
- I knew who I wanted from the beginning.
- She didn't budge.
So that just left us in that spot.
Bitch, she up here trying to stir the pot.
You better try Jesus, not me.
[laughs]
- And that's the news.
Thank you.
- I can't do this job with this one no more.
I'm done. I'm done.
- [laughs]
I kind of love that.
Very Michelle.
- And it's my color, tangerine.
- [laughs]
Hey, Tangie, I love it. Do you love it?
- I love it. - I love it.
- Hey, all stars.
We've got company.
Welcome back to "Drag Race" Bobby Moynihan.
[all cheering]
- What's up, everybody?
[laughs]
- Now Bobby spent nine years killing
it on "Saturday Night Live."
- Yes. That is true.
Murdering it.
- Yes.
- But none of that prepared me for walking into
this mothertucking Werk Room.
[laughter]
Hi, everyone.
Oh my gosh.
It's beautiful in here.
- Please come over, Jessica Wild and Jimbo.
That sounds like a TV special.
"Jessica Wild and Jimbo."
How did you two wind up together?
- We're both sluts.
- Oh, OK.
- Oh, congratulations.
- We'll be method acting as two prostitutes
slash horticulturalists.
- Of course.
- Sluts stick together.
- Yeah.
We stick together, and we dick together.
- Is that your slogan?
- I think it is now.
- We should.
- Just write that down.
Yeah.
- Now Jessica, how long has it been since you
were in this Werk Room?
- 13 years.
- Wow.
- But it was more difficult for me on season two,
because I didn't speak English.
And I did the chicken.
Hi.
Welcome to another home fried meal.
But the chicken talk a lot.
At the end, I learned a lot of lines.
- Yes.
- And I ended up in the top.
- Yes.
And then Jackie Collins, she called
you naive because you didn't know what a golden shower was.
- Yeah, but now I know, and I even do it.
- Oh. [laughter]
- I'm practicing.
[laughter]
- She gave me one this morning.
[laughter]
- I'm getting a little bit of like a Bert
and Ernie vibe off you guys.
Yeah, maybe play off that.
You never want to see two Berts.
And if you see two Ernies, then it's too weird.
Maybe these two prostitutes are the Bert
and Ernie of prostitutes.
You guys have a great chemistry.
Play that up. - You absolutely do.
All right, thank you so much.
- Thank you. Bye.
- Thank you, Bobby.
- Explain to Bobby what you're doing.
- Slowly, like a child, please. - Yes.
- I'm playing a cat, Pussy Jones.
- OK, so you were let go on an episode
that Bobby Moynihan was a judge.
- Yes.
- It was the "Good God Girl Get Out."
- Yep.
My anxiety is through the roof, because I went home
in an acting challenge, y'all.
Touch this skin.
Touch all this skin.
But since season 11, I have been working
five nights a week at Las Vegas Drag Race Live.
And that has given me experience performing
and the opportunity to grow.
This is the time to shine.
How do I step into a role that's an animal
and, like, really make that funny?
- Go crazy. Play that animal.
No one's ever seen this character before.
Do something that puts you out of your comfort zone.
Because if you try it confidently,
it'll be hilarious.
- OK.
- Now, you're playing a newscaster?
- I am.
The newscasters, they have a lot of lines.
- Are you on cue cards or do you have to memorize?
- We got a teleprompter. - Oh.
Do you know how to read?
- I can barely speak.
You hear me.
[laughter]
Randolph County said no child left
behind except Heidi, baby.
[laughter]
- Well, you're very naturally funny.
- Thank you.
- You have a trademark thing that you
do with your speaking voice.
- [whistles]
- [laughs]
I would love to hear you read the news as Heidi N Closet.
- Yeah.
All the little, like, tricks, anything
you can do to spice it up, something
that somebody else in this room can't do that you can.
- Right. Yeah.
- And have fun.
If you're having fun, we will have fun.
- Yes. - All right.
Well, thank you so much.
- Good to see you.
Thank you, guys.
- Bye. - Bye.
Gather round, all stars.
Come on down.
Bobby, darling, can you take over for me?
Because it's time for my break right about now, so...
- Queens, tomorrow you will be performing on "RDR Live,"
where you will be joined by our extra-special guest judge
from The "Black Lady Sketch Show," Robin Thede.
[all cheering]
How am I doing, Ru?
Am I doing OK over here?
- I said I was on my break.
[laughter]
- Oh, and ladies, on the runway, your category
is Net Gala.
[all cheering]
So good luck.
- And don't fuck it up.
Let's go, Bobby.
Yes.
- Thank you.
Don't fuck it up at all.
- Bye, Bobby.
- [laughs]
[upbeat music]
- [screams]
- All right.
Here we go.
- Woo, woo, woo.
- Today we are getting ready for the "RDR Live"
challenge, honey.
- Live, live, live. - Live, live, live.
- One-take wonders, baby.
Oh god.
I feel the energy. I can taste it.
[smacks lips]
- Did you love it? I love it.
- We love it. - This is exciting.
It feels like a dream realized.
I've always wanted to be on "Saturday Night Live."
Like as a cast member.
That'd be incredible.
- How are you feeling, Miss LaLa?
- I'm feeling way better than I felt
the first time around when I first came here
with the acting challenges.
Like, I wasn't as confident, you know what I mean?
Red is trying to shut down the flag factory.
What should we do?
- You were out of your comfort zone,
and I think you kind of went within.
- I didn't do an acting challenge at the time,
but I was acting like I belonged there,
and they didn't believe it. [laughs]
- They wasn't buying it, Jaymes?
- No.
- They weren't buying what you were selling, girl?
- No, not that time.
- They said uh-uh.
[upbeat music]
- How are you doing, Naysha? Are you excited for the--
- I'm super excited. - The big show?
- Yeah.
- Our big live debut.
- Even though I didn't want this role, being challenged
is what I came here for.
You got to make it happen and turn the party, period.
- Last week's voting was difficult.
- Last week's voting was difficult. It was really hard.
It was emotional.
- How are you going to base your vote this week?
- You just have to go with what you're feeling
and with whatever decision you're going to be OK with.
- You know, I chose Monica to stay over Darienne last week
and I did kind of feel bad about it,
because I was like, you know what, fuck.
Darienne was my teammate.
And she did really good.
But let me tell you this.
My next decisions definitely won't
be based off of just my emotions,
because we're all going to be emotional.
We're all going to cry.
I think it really is what you're bringing to the table.
Why should I keep you here?
- But there are going to be weeks where
girls just are not as strong.
Does that mean that they need to go home?
You know what I mean?
I know this is going to sound shady,
but it's just how I feel.
- OK.
- I have to be excited to see you again.
I have to want it.
- Correct.
- I want to be excited.
And if I feel that, I'm going to be
OK with voting with whoever the fuck I vote for.
Do you get what I'm saying?
- Who so far is some of your biggest competitions?
- I would say Heidi.
Heidi N Closet and Alexis Michelle.
But then you have Jimbo.
- Jimbo will creep up.
- And I'm sure that today she's going to slay
that fuckin' challenge.
- Being here twice is wild.
- All right, but imagine being here for the third time
like Miss Jimbo over there.
- You conquered Canada.
You conquered the UK.
And now you're here.
It just sucks you have to go home this week.
- Shut up.
I'm not going.
You can't make me.
- [laughs]
[upbeat music]
- What's up, boss?
- Girl, so how do you feel about the challenge today?
- I feel good. I feel good.
I think we have a good rapport.
- I think we make a great duo, honey.
- I agree.
- And with that, I think we should be like,
you know, what do you think about, like, an alliance,
you know?
- Oh, an alliance.
- Yeah.
You never know what's going to happen in this game,
honestly, child.
No shade.
So why not get together with one of my favorite sisters,
baby, and make sure we're able to save each other
if we're ever in the bottom?
- I would be down to--
I'm not above an alliance, trust, mama.
I will definitely...
Ooh, girl.
OK, so first and foremost, me and Jimbo and Kandy
are in an alliance.
And I'm going to stay true to my alliance,
because I am a queen of my word.
However, I'm about to use my social game
to get what I need.
I got your back.
- Got you, girl. Ahh.
- [laughs] - Ahh.
The goal is not to be in the bottom together.
That is the goal.
- Let's go put this mug on.
- OK.
- OK, a little tip toe.
[Rupaul's "Cover Girl"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪
♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪
♪ Cover girl ♪
♪ And what ♪
- Come on, aubergine.
Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars."
It's funny lady, Michelle Visage.
- Superstar.
- [laughs]
Love you, Molly.
- I love Molly too.
- That's a different kind of Molly, RuPaul.
[laughs]
- And style superstar, Carson Kressley.
Now, Carson, any truth to the rumor that you
once dated Pete Davidson?
- Oh, no comment.
And yes.
It never happened.
- Oh, did I say Pete?
I meant John Davidson.
- No comment.
- That's incredible.
- Eight isn't enough.
- That was Dick Van Patten.
- Oh.
- And the funny and fabulous Robin Thede.
Robin, are you ready to laugh out loud?
- I am.
I'm not sure if my bladder is though.
Does anyone to have any young adult diapers?
[laughs] - Michelle?
- I do. - Great.
Thank you.
- This week we challenged our all stars
to become real comedy characters on "RDR Live."
All stars, start your engines,
and may the best drag queen win.
[laughs]
- [laughs]
- Hello, hello, hello.
Ladies, I'm afraid we've got some sickening news.
- There's a viral virus spreading
across the globe virally.
- How viral?
- Like Miss Vanjie viral.
- Dr. Ouchie, what are the symptoms?
- Well, involuntary tongue popping, face cracking,
and back rolls.
both: Back rolls?
- If untreated, it can cause death.
[both gasp]
Drops.
Death drops.
- Bitch, why didn't you say?
- The epidemic originated here in the States
before moving to Thailand, the UK,
Brazil, Holland, and Canada.
The spread has already gone global
and is expanding rapidly across the universe.
It's even been found on Uranus.
- My anus?
- Precisely.
- Is there a test for it?
- Routine swabbing, of course.
- Is there an anal option?
- There's only an anal option.
- Ooh, girl, that's cool.
I'm gonna get up in there.
- Silence. - Oh.
- It's clear we're facing a raging epidemic
of "Drag Race" franchises.
[thunder booming]
- This disease spreads faster than peanut, peanut, peanut,
peanut, peanut, peanut butter.
- Look, all known cases lead back
to one RuPaul Andre Charles.
- She's a super spreader of charisma,
uniqueness, nerve, and talent.
[alarm blaring]
[all screaming]
- What's that sound?
- Everybody stay calm, okurr?
- Good God, girls, we've been exposed.
[all screaming]
- Come on, CDC, let's get sickening.
- Start your engines, because.
all: Live from Tuckaho, it's "RDR Live."
[upbeat music]
- It's "RDR Live."
With Naysha Lopez.
LaLa Ri and Heidi N Closet.
Kahanna Montrese.
Jaymes Mansfield.
♪ ♪
Jessica Wild and Jimbo.
Mrs. Kasha Davis.
♪ ♪
Darienne Lake and Alexis Michelle.
♪ ♪
And your host, Kandy Muse.
[applause]
- Thank you, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
I am so excited to be the very first
host of the very first "RDR Live."
[cheers and applause]
Wow.
What an honor.
If you'd have told me back when I was a baby queen walking
into the Werk Room on season 13 that I'd
be back on "All Stars" hosting RDR Live,"
I'd have said, "All Stars"?
So I didn't win the first time around?
But we have a terrific show for you
tonight with some truly hilarious
queens and some other queens.
[laughter]
But I'm not worried.
I mean, LaLa Ri can turn a paper bag into a joke.
So there's hope.
There's hope.
Plus we have Heidi N Closet.
[cheers and applause]
Talk about funny.
Well, no, sorry, I meant Heidi N Closet talks funny.
Coming from me.
[laughs]
But like I said, this is my very first time.
So lower your expectations real low and go easy.
Which by the way, is the same thing
Mrs. Kasha Davis said on her wedding night back in 1954.
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
Kasha, what are you doing here?
I am in the middle of a monologue.
- Well, I thought since you're hosting,
I'd pitch you some of my sketch ideas.
- Don't you think it's a little too late?
The show's already started.
- So mean to old people.
Someday I'm gonna die, and then you're
gonna feel bad about it.
- Fine, fine, fine, fine.
But please, make it quick.
- OK.
So I was thinking if we did this, like,
soap opera sketch about rival drag racing families
and then we secretly added fart noises
throughout the whole thing.
[imitates fart noises]
- You know, you are describing "Daytona Winds,"
and they already did that on season 14.
- Oh.
OK.
How about a sketch about a hospital where all the doctors
and the patients are all drag queens
and they're absolutely insane.
- That was "Gays Anatomy," and they did that on season 12.
- How about an all drag version of Shakespeare?
I call it Shakesqueer.
- Bitch, that's just not funny.
[laughter]
- I remember.
[laughter]
Oh well.
You can't blame a girl for trying.
Oh, by the way, I was in the Werk Room and Jimbo
is puking in your wigs.
- Bitch!
- Stick around for more "RDR Live."
We've got a great show.
[cheers and applause]
[light music]
[laughter]
- Hi, I'm Fern McCall, and we're the McCall
Girls Gardening Service.
- We service all your strange and
freaky horticultural needs.
[moans]
- Do you have a big thick oak tree
that grows and kind of bends at a weird angle?
Let us take a whack at it.
We'll prune it like a pro.
- Is your lady gardening dry and overrun by pesky moles?
After we're done, you will be wondering how it got so moist.
- Maybe you're an older gardener who's
tired of soiling themselves.
Let us soil you.
- That's right we do all the horticultural things
those other girls won't, like hedge trimming,
gutter cleaning, sewer draining.
[moans]
- And stump work.
Just leave the money on the dresser,
and we'll do the rest.
- Don't believe us?
Ask one of our satisfied customers.
[moans]
[cheers and applause]
- Hi.
I'm Barb.
[laughter]
When it came to this whole gardening thing,
I didn't know mulch, so I hired the McCall
girls to talk dirt to me.
- You grow, girl.
- I had a bush that was growing wild.
It was embarrassing.
Other landscapers said it was too weird for them to handle.
But the McCall girls, they were into it.
[laughs]
They got me to try topiary for the first time.
And now my crazy bush looks like an adorable squirrel.
[laughter]
My tulips have never been happier.
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
- That's right.
We're not mow and blow girls.
We stick around till you're fully fertilized.
- So whether you're a guy having
trouble with his peonies.
- Or a gal with a lonely flower bed.
- Call the McCall Girls Gardening service.
both: We're so much more than your average garden hoe.
[moaning]
- It's "Queen Network News"
with Heidi N Closet and LaLa Ri.
[cheers and applause]
- Good evening, trash.
- Our top story tonight.
In medical news, Lady Bunny has a prolapsed anus.
Doctors say it has really brought
out the asshole inside her.
In a related story, Bianca Del Rio
recently fell out of Lady Bunny's prolapsed anus.
- Chinese explorers are celebrating
the discovery of the deepest sinkhole in the world.
When told it's big enough to hold two Washington monuments,
Trinity the Tuck responded, "Just two?"
- NASA has discovered a new galaxy.
They're naming it the "Ross Matthews Drag Brunch"
because it's mostly empty and there are no big stars there.
- An adult bookstore was the most recent target
of a smash and grab robbery.
Among the missing items was a three-foot sex toy.
When police questioned eyewitness Jiggly Caliente
if she knew where the giant phallus had disappeared to,
she said...
[gagging]
- Nina West, Tina Burner, and Michelle Visage
are starring in a one-woman show.
The role of the one woman has yet to be cast.
- The New York City Transit Authority
released a perfume that smells just
like the subway with high notes of urine,
sweat, and desperation.
They're calling it the LaLa Ri experience.
[laughter]
On a somber note, a local drag queen was pulled
out of the river this morning.
Her makeup was smeared, her wig was busted,
and her body was full of illegal substances.
In a related story, Heidi N Closet
still made it to work on time.
[laughter]
Well done, Heidi N Closet.
- Moving on.
A new study from the UK claims that cats
don't get enough respect.
Here to comment is our kitty correspondent, Pussy Jones.
- [meowing]
Meow.
- Welcome, Pussy.
- Hello, America.
I am Pussy Jones, a fierce advocate,
or should I say catvocate, for the feline nation.
For too long cats have been treated like human playthings.
People think just because they feed us, they own us.
Well, we do not exist for human amusement.
Like how they make us jump on those little red laser lights
knowing full well there's nothing there to catch.
Then they rub our bellies.
Such disrespect.
Well, listen up.
My cat body, my cat choice.
- So what's your point of view on feline reproductive
rights, kitty?
- I say my reproductive rights are my purr-ogative.
Getting spayed was the best thing
I have ever done for myself.
Meow.
You try giving birth to a dozen babies at the same time.
And while you're discussing urgent matters.
- Go right ahead.
- I need to talk about something else.
I was down at the Litterbox Nightclub on Avenue A
next door to Kitty Liquors, and I
overheard a group of queens talking about their pussies
were on fire.
- Yes.
- They just all stood there laughing
while pussies were burning.
Meow.
- Pussy on fire is just an expression.
It just means, like, ooh, you're hot, like ooh, girl,
your pussy is on fire.
- Oh.
Really?
- Yeah.
- My bad.
Well, power to the pussy.
- Pussy Jones, everyone.
- And that's the news.
Thank you.
[applause]
[upbeat jazzy music]
♪ ♪
- [laughs]
- Oh, welcome to the "House of Love,"
the show where we talk about all the things
we love about New Jersey.
The mall. - Yes.
- The shore.
- Check.
- And of course, our favorite Jersey girl, Michelle Visage.
[cheers and applause]
I'm Tangerine.
- And I'm Margarita.
We've been best friends since middle school
when we lost our virginity to the same guy.
Different nights.
- But it was all back door stuff,
so it doesn't really count.
[laughs]
- So, Tangie, what hot summer book are you loving right now?
- I am loving "The Diva Rules" by Michelle Visage.
I love it. Do you love it?
- I love it. Do you love it?
- I love it.
Oh, she speaks to me as a Jersey girl,
as a diva, but most importantly, as a woman.
- OK.
What hot summer movie are you loving right now?
- "Fried Green Tomatoes."
I love it.
Do you love it?
- [slurping]
- Did you hit your head on the way in here?
You know Michelle Visage hates the color green.
Please don't disrespect her like that.
- Oh my god, I'm sorry.
I wasn't thinking straight.
- Clearly.
- Moving on.
What TV shows are you loving right now?
- I am loving the Summer Olympics.
I love it.
Do you love it?
- [slurping]
- Wha?
- Are you serious?
- What?
- All the little girls in their bodysuits?
Are you trying to give Michelle Visage a stroke?
She hates bodysuits.
New subject.
- OK, speaking of little girls, isn't this your first weekend
without your girls?
- They're with my ex-husband.
Is it wrong that I'm fine that they're gone?
- You know who else is glad that her girls are gone?
both: Michelle Visage.
- Anyways--
[knock at door]
- Oh, if that is my husband, I'm going to kill him.
Tony, I'm doing my show.
- Hello, ladies.
[cheers and applause]
Hi Margie.
- Hi, Michelle. - Mwah! Mwah!
[cheers and applause]
About your show.
- We love it. - Do you love it?
- We love it.
- [slurping]
- [gasps]
- I love it.
[cheers and applause]
- Oh, come sit, stay, visit.
- Oh, the show's over. Go ahead.
Go to bed.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
[cheers and applause]
- That's our show.
Thank you and remember if you can't laugh at yourself,
how the hell are you going to laugh at somebody else?
Can I get an amen up here?
all: Amen.
- Now let the music play.
Good night.
[upbeat jazzy music]
♪ ♪
- [laughs]
[upbeat funky music]
- ♪ Nobody here ever seen him before ♪
- Category is Net Gala.
Up first, Naysha Lopez.
- ♪ Who is she? ♪
- My, what a chic web we weave.
- Uh-uh.
- I am serving punk and glam all served up into one.
This black, netted, gorgeous gown.
I am feeling everything in this look.
- ♪ Who is she? ♪
Unbeweavable.
- That's what you are.
- [laughs]
Jaymes Mansfield.
Oh boy, talk about a high roller.
- I know why the caged wig sings.
[laughter]
- Last week I gave you old Hollywood realness.
This time I'm taking it to the '60s.
I am showing them all of this body-ody-ody
that I did not have on season nine.
She learned how to pad and pad right.
- Beauty school dropout.
There's going to be a hole in her ozone.
[laughter]
- Kandy Muse.
- I think the face matches the drapes.
[laughter]
- For my Net Gala, I wanted to go for more of the Balenciaga
Kim Kardashian route.
I'm in all hot pink from head to toe.
And if you look real close, baby,
that is my face drawn out in front of my body.
- I just can't face it.
[laughs]
- Mrs. Kasha Davis.
- You've heard of a yeti? - Uh-huh.
- This is a Neti.
- OK.
[laughter]
- The Net Gala is here, and I am giving you
the butterfly extravaganza.
She is a maiden of the woods, and she sits,
and she reads to children.
- She's got a pretty face, butt-er-fly.
[laughter]
♪ Who is she? ♪
Up next, Jimbo.
Oh my goodness. - Ohh.
- This bitch is lit.
- [laughs]
We can see her LED.
[laughter]
- I am serving the ultimate influencer.
I am cell phone octobot on the internet.
I feel like a super villain mixed with some sort
of beautiful monster.
And my cell phone bill is through the roof.
- The calls are coming from inside
your headpiece.
[laughter]
♪ Who is she? ♪
Jessica Wild.
- With all those insects over her,
Orkin's going to have a field day.
- Come up and pollinate me sometime.
- [laughs]
- Tonight the runway is Net Gala.
I have a nude bodysuit covered in net,
and I can't wait to show you my hole.
[laughs]
- Jessica Wild, now with wings.
- For light days.
[laughter]
- Heidi N Closet.
- They call her Gaucho Marx.
[laughter]
- I know I look sickening, bitch.
I feel like there's a gap in the Hall of Fame.
And I'm trying to fill it.
[laughs]
- This look has some bite.
- Oh baby, not so much teeth.
[laughter]
- I can remove 'em.
[laughter]
- ♪ Who is she? ♪
LaLa Ri.
- Ooh. - Oh, work.
- Let's just say her net worth is in the black.
- I really wanted to go for a high-fashion moment.
The shoulders are big so I can fly away on these hos.
I'm feeling like the chocolate Beyoncé right now, bitch.
And she's sparkling, honey.
She's sparkling.
- You know, pants are overrated.
- You know.
Kahanna Montrese.
- Everybody wants a piece of her trident.
[laughter]
- 9 out of 10 dentists recommend it.
- Yes.
- I am serving ocean goddess, baby.
When you think of nets, you think about all of the body.
You think about the sex appeal.
And that is something I specialize in.
- Honey, she puts the puss in "Poseidon Adventure."
- OK.
- I'd like to get under that sea.
- Ooh.
Darienne Lake.
Hoop, there it is.
Yes.
- She's what we like to call a baller.
- OK.
- I am bouncing down this runway in nothing but net.
She's, oh, she's going to pick you out with her moves.
Swish, swish, baby.
Bouncy bounce bounce.
- Game, net, match.
- [laughs]
I don't want to be rude, but is she dribbling?
- She is.
- OK.
♪ Who is she? ♪
Alexis Michelle.
- Gorgeous.
- Apparently she's into heavy netting.
[laughter]
- I am living for this nude and black net gown.
Honey, she is structured and regal.
I'm ready for the Met Gala.
- She's never net a dress she didn't love.
- Clean up this mesh.
[laughs]
♪ Who is she? ♪
[laughs]
- [laughs]
- Welcome, queens.
Based on your performances in "RDR Live"
and the Net Gala runway presentations,
we've made some decisions.
[tense music]
Kandy Muse.
Mrs. Kasha Davis.
Jessica Wild.
LaLa Ri.
Darienne Lake.
Alexis Michelle.
All of you are...
♪ ♪
Safe.
You may leave the stage.
- Congrats, honey.
- Bye, ladies.
♪ ♪
- Ladies, you represent the tops
and the bottoms of the week.
Now it's time for the judges' critiques.
Starting with Naysha Lopez.
- Naysha, Naysha, Naysha.
You look absolutely stunning.
The makeup, the hair, all gorgeous.
My only critique of this is that it's
a little quiet for "All Stars."
- OK.
- I think as Dr. Blackwell, you lost me a bit.
You were so into it that I didn't catch a lot
of what you're trying to say.
- There's a viral virus spreading
across the globe virally.
- We couldn't laugh with you when
we couldn't really understand what you were saying.
- I think with a little focus on timing
and really hitting those punch lines
and letting them breathe a little bit more,
it could have really sung.
- Up next, Jaymes Mansfield.
- You worked in a space where we didn't even
see you full body the whole time,
and yet I felt the physical comedy.
It shone through in a way that didn't take away from anyone
else's performance.
So I thought you did a great job.
- This look.
You know, you're giving us that drag sense of camp.
You gave us a chunky, old-fashioned hairnet.
And I love that you still have a long ponytail hanging
down the back, which is like,
you've missed a part of your hair.
It's comedy, and it speaks to your brand so well.
- Thank you.
- Up next, Jimbo.
- When you came around the corner in this, I just lit up.
It's just next level.
And it's demented like you are.
Talk about iconic.
It's an "All Stars" moment.
- Thank you.
- You put the "hor" in horticulture.
And I appreciate it.
You had a tear in your stockings.
You had dirt on your bosoms.
It was subtle and it worked.
- You had a partner in the scene who was big and broad,
and it was a genius decision on your part
to ground your character so that you guys could
play those highs and lows.
And it didn't look like you were competing.
- Did you consciously decide,
"I'm going to be the grounded one in this scene?"
- After we had our walkthrough,
you guys talked about having a Bert and an Ernie,
two characters that live within the same world but aren't
sort of covering the same territory.
I thought, she's seen a few things.
She's got a few twitches.
But she's got strong hands and a deep throat.
[laughter]
- Welcome to Hollywood.
[laughter]
All right, up next, Heidi N Closet.
- You really got to shine as the QNN news anchor.
- Good evening, trash.
- You sold all of the jokes so confidently,
bouncing things off so beautifully with LaLa
that it made you shine.
- Tonight on the runway, I like this Rick Owens
kind of fashion moment.
I love this hair that you put with it.
Your makeup looks pretty.
You've improved so much in all the right ways.
That's what an all star does.
- That means so, so much.
Thank you.
- Up next, Kahanna Montrese.
- You know what I love about your drag
is you've been Vegas-fied.
Everything is over the top.
It just is so much fun to look at.
And when you walk the runway,
there's such a presence around you.
- For Pussy Jones, the pussy was a little dry for me.
- Oh.
Oh, OK.
- Not dry-ass pussy.
- It happens to the best of us.
But it felt like to me you didn't quite trust the jokes
or you were maybe just not 100% comfortable.
Because when you get to play a cat character,
you can do all of the things and you can have
all of the moments, right?
And just something to personify the cat
part of it a little bit more would have helped, I think.
- With a character called Pussy Jones, we're like, OK,
here we go.
We want so much.
- I wanted Pam Grier.
- Yeah.
- Sure.
Like a blaxploitation movie. - Yes.
- Maybe she's just not a cat person.
[laughter]
- Thank you, ladies.
I think we've heard enough.
Based on the judges' critiques,
I've made some decisions.
♪ ♪
Jimbo, condragulations.
You are the top all star of the week.
- What? Yes!
Oh my god, thank you.
- You've won a cash prize of $5,000 U.S.
- Yes.
That's like 7 grand.
[laughter]
- Jaymes Mansfield, Heidi N Closet...
♪ ♪
You are safe.
- Thank you.
- Naysha Lopez, Kahanna Montrese, I'm sorry, my dears,
but you are the bottom two all stars of the week.
Jimbo, you need to decide which of the bottom queens
to eliminate if you win tonight's
lip sync against a secret lip sync assassin.
The rest of you will cast your votes for the bottom queen
you think should get the chop.
Thank you, all stars.
You may leave the stage.
- Thank you.
Girl, this is an emotional roller coaster.
I was just in the top, and now I'm in the bottom.
But I have worked so hard to get to this point
that I can't let this slip between my fingers.
- Even though it wasn't my first choice,
I pushed myself to go really big with this role,
and I think that just backfired on me.
But I have so much more to show everyone.
I hope that the other girls know that,
because my fate lies in the hands of my sisters.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[dramatic percussive music]
♪ ♪
- Voting people off and murdering their dreams
does not make my heart go a-flutter.
I'm a queen of kindness.
♪ ♪
- I'm sorry.
♪ ♪
- Oh, Jesus.
- When it comes down to it, it really matters
are you excelling or are you not excelling?
Both these girls did the worst in the challenge,
but Kahanna was top all stars last week.
Girl, I am so, so sorry.
♪ ♪
- I'm basing my decision on who I think
just has a lot more to show in this competition.
♪ ♪
- I send you lots of love.
♪ ♪
- Ooh, child.
♪ ♪
- This decision does not come easy.
I'm looking at this box, and--
[belches]
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
♪ ♪
Wow.
I can't help it.
I am stressed.
Their fate hangs in my dainty little hands.
Ahh!
♪ ♪
[belches]
- [laughs]
- Welcome back.
Jimbo, are you ready to meet your opponent?
- I was born ready.
- [laughs]
- It's time to present this week's lip sync assassin.
[thunder booming]
[all gasp]
- Baby.
- Dress.
Pageant.
- Trinity K. Bonet?
- Ruveal yourself.
- Oh, she came in a dress, honey.
- Oh my god.
- Who is it?
[all screaming]
- Oh, my God.
- Pangina?
Why?
[laughter]
- Hi, hi. - Oh, my God.
- Gag to the gag to the gag, gag, gag.
- We love you.
- On "UK versus The World," she sent my ass packing.
- I choose Jimbo to go home.
- I love you guys so much.
I just want to beat this bitch and win that cash.
How could you?
- [laughs]
Well, well, well.
Pangina, are you ready to slay?
- Yes.
Two queens stand before me.
Pangina holds the lipstick of the queen
that the group has voted to send home.
Pangina wins, the queen on her lipstick gets the chop.
Jimbo, this is your chance to impress me, win $20,000,
and earn power... - Oh, my fucking God.
- To give one of the bottom queens the chop.
The time has come for you to lip sync
for your legacy.
♪ ♪
Good luck, and don't fuck it up.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Well, I see 'em every night
♪ In tight blue jeans ♪
♪ ♪
♪ In the pages of a "Blueboy" magazine ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Hey, hey, I've been thinking of a new sensation ♪
♪ I'm picking up good vibrations ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Oop, she bop, she bop ♪
- Come on, girl.
Hey.
- ♪ She bop, he bop, we bop ♪
♪ I bop, you bop, they bop ♪
♪ Be bop, be bop, a lu she bop ♪
♪ ♪
- Come on, girl.
♪ ♪
♪ She bop, he bop, we bop ♪
♪ I bop, you bop, they bop ♪
♪ Be bop, be bop, a lu she bop ♪
♪ Oh, she do, she bop ♪
♪ Oh, she do ♪
[laughs]
[laughter]
- Yeah.
[applause]
- [laughs]
Ladies, I've made my decision.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
Pangina Heals.
Condragulations, you're a winner, baby.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- The $20,000 will roll over into next week's tip.
- $30,000.
- Jimbo, you are safe to slay another day.
- Thank you so much, Ru.
Thank you.
- You may step to the back of the stage.
- [laughs]
Ohh.
- Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
- Lesbians.
- [laughs]
Will the bottom queens please step forward?
[dramatic percussive music]
♪ ♪
Naysha.
Kahanna.
Whoever gets the chop tonight will be immediately entered
into the online Fame Games.
In "Untucked" and online, each week
we will showcase the runway looks
that the eliminated queens would have worn.
Any additional content an eliminated queen
wishes to post on her socials is up to them.
In the final days leading up to this season's grand finale,
the fans will vote to determine which eliminated queen
will win the title of Queen of the Fame Games
plus a cash prize of $50,000.
[applause]
Pangina, with great power comes great responsibility.
Which queen has the group chosen to get the chop?
- The group have spoken.
And the queen they chose to get the chop is...
[tense music]
♪ ♪
Naysha.
♪ ♪
- [sobbing]
- As it is written, so it shall be done.
Naysha Lopez, you are and will always be an all star.
♪ ♪
You're leaving us tonight, but the Fame Games have just begun.
Now sashay away.
[somber music]
- Thank you so much.
[indistinct]. Thank you.
♪ ♪
I am super disappointed.
I came here to perform and shine.
And I want to continue to compete with my sisters.
But I'm just really happy that I got to be a part of it
and I got a platform to do what I love to do.
I will be forever grateful.
And my game does not end here.
This is only the beginning.
I am determined to snatch this Fame Game.
- Pangina, my dear, thank you for joining us.
You are welcome to come back and slay any time.
- I'm coming back.
- [laughs]
Condragulations, all stars.
And remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell
are you going to love somebody else?
Can I get an amen up in here?
all: Amen!
- Right.
Now let the music play.
♪ A little bit of love goes a long, long way ♪
♪ Lifting you up to a brighter day ♪
♪ Can you feel the love? ♪
♪ ♪
- Next time on "All Stars..."
- Should we look at who the group voted for?
- Let's see.
- Three for Kahanna.
- I don't need anybody to tell me how to vote.
- For this week's maxi challenge,
we are throwing a supermarket ball.
- Oh my god.
- A look made out of supermarket materials?
- A necklace.
- Clean up on aisle three.
- The alliance only works if the others
don't know about it.
- Mm-hmm. - OK?
- Ruveal yourself.
[all cheering]
- [laughs]
- ♪ A little bit of love goes a long, long way ♪
♪ Lifting you up to a brighter day ♪
♪ A little bit of love goes a long, long way ♪
♪ Turn it around when you up and say ♪
♪ Everybody say love ♪
♪ Can you feel the love? ♪