(THEME SONG PLAYING)
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Wander! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪
(ROOSTERS CROW)
Okay, Wander. I'm up. You don't have to...
Since when am I the first one up?
(WEAKLY) Good morning, Sylvia.
What a beautiful day!
Uh, you feeling okay there, buddy?
Okay?
I'm feeling great!
How's about a rousing "good morning" song to get this day started right?
(SCATTING DISCORDANTLY)
Wander, are you...
sick?
Me? Sick? No way.
I can assure you that I am
the farthest thing in the world from being...
(SNEEZES LOUDLY)
sick.
I'm fine, Sylvia. Really.
I have too much to do today to be sick.
I'll just power through with the power...
friendship... smile... sunshine...
banjo face or something.
Oh, no.
The only way you're gonna get better is if you get some rest.
I'll take care of everything.
Oh, don't go out of your way for me.
I got this, I got this. I...
I did it!
Okay, I'm gonna go get some wood for a fire.
You stay here and rest.
Okay!
-Wander, what are you- -Helping you collect firewood.
You don't have to do anything, okay?
If you need something, just ask.
Is there anything you need?
Well,
a glass of water might be nice.
One water, coming right...
(SIGHS) up.
Stay.
You got it!
Just as soon as I help you start this fire...
(SNEEZES LOUDLY)
Buddy. (SIGHS)
I know you always wanna help,
but sometimes, you have to take care of yourself first.
But, I can't be sick.
I'm already way behind on my morning helping routine.
If I don't help everyone who needs helping,
terrible things might happen.
Yeah, like you getting so sick you can't help anyone.
So you miss out on a few chores. It's not the end of the universe.
(GROANS)
How about I do your helping routine for you?
Really?
I don't know. It's kind of a tall order.
Come on. You've helped me so many times.
It's time for you to let me help you.
Just tell me what you need me to do and I will go do it
while you stay here and do nothing.
Well...
Okay!
I usually start my morning by making brekkies for you,
me, and any locals that might be around.
WANDER: Did you feed all the locals?
(CHIRPING)
All the locals?
Next, I usually go give Buster a good scratch behind the ears.
WANDER: Oh! You've gotta go hit the snooze button on Lord Hater's alarm clock,
or he'll be really cranky all day.
Give the Black Cube a banjo lesson.
(DISTORTED CHANTING)
WANDER: Raise the soles of Peepers' shoes another eighth of an inch.
Oh! Way to grow, Commander Peepers.
(ROBOTIC VOICE SINGING) Let's get awesome!
Oh! And feed Emperor Awesome's white Tigrexes.
(SNEEZES)
Oh, the Watchdogs' intramural tetherball finals are today,
and they need a referee.
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
Point, Barry.
Woo hoo!
WANDER: Give the floor at Blorpee's a good mopping.
You missed a... (SNEEZES)
spot.
Double check that no one on Okeydokeyia needs help.
We never do.
WANDER: Hit Hater's snooze button again.
(ALARM BEEPING)
WANDER: Change Huckleberry Knucklehead's diaper.
Throw out anything that doesn't have a name in the Watchdogs' fridge.
Return any lost socks.
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS)
(SOBBING LOUDLY)
Isn't that your sock?
WANDER: Oh, yeah.
Make sure to hit Lord Hater's snooze button one more time.
(ALARM BEEPING)
(WANDER SNEEZES)
Oh, and there's one more thing.
-Water Dominator's cactus. -What?
But...
Wait, why does Dominator even have a cactus?
(SNIFFLES)
I left a cactus in her guest bathroom the last time we were there.
WANDER: I thought it really brightened up the place.
(COUGHS) But you're right, Sylvia.
I shouldn't ask you to do something so dangerous.
(WANDER COUGHS)
I will do it myself.
Flab drassit, Wander. Crab-hammerin' cactus.
Where is this guest bathroom anyway?
-(WANDER SNEEZES LOUDLY) -Oh, no.
Oh! Wander!
Hey, Sylvia.
Wait. Is this the...
Is this the guest bathroom?
SYLVIA: But where's the cactus?
Yeah, that's what I wanted to tell you.
I actually think I might've just dreamed about getting Dominator a cactus.
You know what? We should go get her a cactus.
Call it Spike.
SYLVIA: Stay...
there...
and rest!
Okay?
(SNIFFLES) Okay, Sylvia.
Oh, you seriously do all this every day before I'm even awake?
You're a very heavy sleeper.
Oh. I could use a nap now, that's for sure.
(GASPS) Sylvia!
What is it?
Oh! I forgot to visit Ms. Myrtle.
Who's what now?
Every week, I visit this kindly old lady, Ms. Myrtle,
and bring her a tin of snickerdoodles,
so we can chat, we can catch up.
Oh, she loves snickerdoodles.
I can't let her down!
(SIGHS)
Wander, you not visiting an old lady is not the end of the universe.
(PANICKED) But, but...
Wander, whoah, whoah. Okay!
I will visit Ms. Myrtle for you.
But you have to promise me that you're gonna stay right here
and finally get some rest.
Okay?
(SIGHS)
(SNIFFLES) I promise.
Good. Now sleep.
WANDER: (SIGHS) You got it.
WANDER: (PANICKED) Sylvia!
The snickerdoodles!
Huh. Weird place for some old biddy to live.
Ms. Myrtle?
Ms. Myrtle? Ms...
(GROUND RATTLES)
Miss... Myrtle?
(WANDER STRUGGLING)
(GROANING)
I'm coming, Sylvia!
(GROANS)
Who dares disturb the slumber of Ms. Myrtle,
The Eternal Turtle,
keeper of the cosmos,
weaver of the very fabric of the galaxy?
Huh, only I...
can save...
the universe.
Must deliver...
snickerdoodle...
(SNEEZES LOUDLY)
(GROANS WEAKLY)
Ms. Myrtle!
Please don't destroy the universe.
I'm here.
I brought your snicker...
(CHUCKLES) And then, the ballet dancer says,
"Annihilation? I thought her name was Susan."
-Myrtle? -Oh, hello, Wander.
Your delightful friend, Sylvia and I are having such a grand time.
(STAMMERING) But the cookies.
Why hasn't the universe ended?
Oh, Wander dear.
though I do enjoy your visits,
Sylvia said you were sick,
so I understand why you couldn't come.
It's all right to let other people help you, you know.
It's not the end of the universe.
(LAUGHING)
Yeah, never hurts to let...
someone...
help.
(SNORING)
Snickerdoodle?
(LAUGHING) Oh, no. I can't stand those things.
(MENACINGLY) Seriously, get them out of my sight,
or I'll destroy the universe!
♪ Doodley doot doot doot doot ♪
(YAWNING)
(RUMBLING)
WANDER: Wow!
Sylvia, there's a whole little planet in here
full of these little itty-bitty Bitties!
Wander, put that down before he sees you!
(COUGHING)
You dare touch the stuff of the mighty wizard Neckbeard,
the all-knowing naysayer? (COUGHS)
Sorry, sorry. He was just, uh,
making sure no one else touches it.
And now, he's putting it back.
Right, Wander?
(SIGHS) Look,
I'm like the most laid-back guy there is.
But this is my shop full of rare and dangerous magic items
too complex for your tiny minds to comprehend.
So, if you don't wanna unleash the wrath of the greatest wizard in the universe,
you gotta treat my word as law.
Law one - no touching!
Especially not my orb.
Feel me, muchacho?
Sorry, O' Great Neckbeard!
It won't happen again.
So, you want me to help you find something to deal with this
'Dominator' lady?
Yes!
We heard you have an item of great power
that can zap her as far away from this galaxy as possible.
Is that right?
No.
I have something that will translocate her as far away as possible. But 'zapping'?
I have no idea what that is.
Okay.
We heard you have an item that can 'translocate' her as far away as possible.
Please, O' Mighty Neckbeard, you're our only hope.
(LOAD GROAN)
Fine.
Follow me.
Translocate you into the next dimension, you big...
Wander, no!
Even if he is being a real jerk,
this guy may have the only thing that can help us.
So stay put,
don't question him, and stay out of his business.
But what bad can come from learning about these little guys?
I mean, the more you know, the more you grow.
No!
No knowing, no growing, or we'll be throw-en outta here,
and Dominator will be blowing our galaxy to bits!
Well, your point did rhyme,
so okay.
Oh, what could one little eyeball in somebody else's business hurt?
(GASPS)
WANDER: Look at all those little Bitties
on their itty-bitty world leading their itty-bitty Bitty lives.
Why, it's Billy Bitty.
He's lost his entire family, oh, no!
Will he have to scour the universe leaving no stone un...
Oh no, there they are!
It's Billy's wife Betty, kissing him sweetly on his way to work.
Meanwhile, Betty meets her sister-in-law, Beatrice,
a professional masseuse who's unlucky in love.
Unbeknownst to Beatrice,
her true love Benedict is on the opposite side of town,
searching for something to fill the Beatrice-sized hole in his heart.
If only they could find each other!
But I promised not to mess with them.
Whoops!
(SQUEALS IN HAPPINESS) Romance is in the air!
What was that?
Banjo, huh?
(SCATTING)
Yeah, well, I play
the Theremin.
(BITTIES SCREAMING)
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah. Theremins are super complicated.
When people hear I play, they're all like, "No way! That's too hard".
But then I show them, and they're like, "Stop!
Stop being a wizard immediately, and be a pro musician".
And I'm all, "Thanks,
but I'm killing it in the magic biz".
Hey, speaking of magic,
do you have any idea where to find this zapping... I mean,
this translocating device?
Because we know your time is so very valuable, and we are
ashamed to waste even a second of it.
Do not question my methods, lady!
I am Neckbeard, the all-knowing naysayer,
and my methods shall be revealed
when I see fit.
(SIGH) I think it's over here.
Whew! You're safe.
Oh, uh hi.
-Uh, folks call me... -(BITTIES SCREAMING)
WANDER (SINGING): Hushy-hush, hushy-hush. Don't be in such a crushy-rush.
Just hushy-hush, hushy-hush, and fussy won't make such a fuss.
That was a close one. Phew!
Phew!
Whoah!
(IMITATING) Whoah!
That's amazing!
(IMITATING) Amazing!
(SCATTING) Yep a dip dip, bip a ditty yip!
(LAUGHTER GETS LOUDER)
NECKBEARD: What's so funny?
I'm just thinking how foolish and lame we are compared to you.
Huh, yeah. That's pretty hilarious.
(BITTIES HUMMING THEME SONG)
Oh, wow!
A statue for me of me?
I'm so flattered.
Oh, a bigger statue?
Ha! Thank you.
WANDER: And you learned to dance, too?
I told Sylvia nothing bad would happen.
See, the more you know, the more you...
(BITTIES SCREAMING)
Oh no!
No.
Ye... No.
Please, we really need something. Anything to stop Dominator. Now...
Which is it?
Stop Dominator or get rid of Dominator?
Because those are two different things.
Sounds like you need an ultimate weapon.
A stick?
(SYNTHWAVE MUSIC PLAYS)
A bow staff.
In the proper hands, it's the deadliest weapon in the...
-(GROWLS) -Though you wouldn't know anything...
Zapping device! What, where, how?
Translocate... (GRUNTS)
(COUGHS) Okay, okay.
Oblivion mirror.
It'll magically transport anything to the farthest regions of the universe,
never to return.
But it only works once,
so you gotta be careful.
Finally. Things are looking up.
(BITTIES SCREAMING IN BACKGROUND)
Empathy, not enemies!
Please, there's plenty more impressive things in the galaxy to be into
than little old me!
There's supernovas, and meteor showers,
and puppies, and banjos, and best friends,
and triple pickle pie, and...
Do you have any idea what you've done?
(BITTIES SCREAMING)
These guys were mint in box.
They aren't ready to understand a bigger universe.
They've already seen too much.
That's crazy! The more you know, the more you grow!
Wrong, 'cause nobody knows more than me.
And what they don't know won't hurt them.
Here. Oblivion mirror.
Use this on Dominator to send her wherever you want.
Now get outta here!
You mean, it was right there the whole...
Oh, never mind!
I thought we'd never get outta here.
But Sylvia, the Bitties!
Buddy, I know. But we've got bigger problems than those small fries.
If we don't stop Dominator, there may be no galaxy.
Besides, aren't they better off not knowing about all the horrible stuff
that's out there?
-No. -Good.
Wait, what?
Hey, nay! I say nay!
(BITTIES SCREAMING)
NECKBEARD: Magic, magic! Magic!
Just because you act like you know everything, doesn't mean you do.
NECKBEARD: Magic!
You can't keep other people in the dark just to make yourself seem smarter!
Magic, magic!
Magic!
Whoah!
(GROWLING)
(IN A DEEP VOICE) Magic!
-Hey! -Ha!
I have what you want, you have what I want.
Unwinnable situation.
Now give me the orb.
Wander, we need that mirror.
But Sylvia, everybody deserves a chance to try and understand the universe.
(BITTIES SQUEALING)
Sorry, buddy. Say good-bye to your Bitties...
'cause they're going on a long trip!
Yo, know-it-all! Catch!
Oh, not in the face!
No!
Not cool!
They're too small and stupid to survive out there in the universe.
They're too primitive. They're...
(BITTIES SQUEAKING)
totally fine?
Sylvia, that mirror only had one use.
We won't be able to send Dominator away.
Good. That'll give the Bitties a fresh new galaxy to explore
where nobody else can mess with them.
And I'm sure, if we keep exploring, we'll figure something else out, too!
After all, the more you know, the more you grow, right?
(IN A DEEP VOICE) You are totally gonna pay for that!
That'll be 17.50 for the mirror and 37.99 for the orb.
BITTIE: That's amazing!
Amazing!
(THEREMIN PLAYING)