(THEME SONG PLAYING)
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪
PEEPERS: Flankar 5. Tomorrow is their Festival of Florkanalia,
which leaves their capital completely unguarded.
LORD HATER: That's when we (ROARS)...
...suddenly (ROARS)...
-PEEPERS: Not yet, sir. -LORD HATER: Oh. Yeah, sorry.
PEEPERS: Suddenly, a battalion of watchdogs...
"Hate's great, best villain, hate's great, best villain"
led by Commander Peepers, secure the city for the arrival of...
-PEEPERS: Now, sir. -LORD HATER: Oh, yeah.
LORD HATER (ROARS)
And they will be all, "Ahh! Lord Hater is so terrifying! Argh!"
PEEPERS: Then I'll be all, like, "Halt, you swine, and bow down to him!
He is your new ruler and you will do as he says,
because he is Lord Hater, the number one superstar in the galaxy!"
Take that and that and that!
(SINGING) Commander Peepers!
Whoo! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, the prettiest girl in the galaxy comes in,
and she's all, "Oh, Hatey, you're so cool and powerful.
I wish I had millions of people screaming my name like you."
-Who is the universe's awesomest evildoer? -PEEPERS: Hater!
(BOTH) Whoo!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(CRASHING)
Whoa! This isn't the car wash.
LORD HATER: Emperor Awesome, you're going to pay for this!
PEEPERS: With money! Hope you got good insurance, buster.
LORD HATER: And with pain!
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) -(SCREAMING)
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill, man, chill.
It's just a little ding. We can work this out...right...bro?...
I thought you were cool.
You...you think I'm...
Gettin' there, but dolls? Not really a cool guy thing, bro.
PEEPERS: They are strategic figurines used for precisely plotting invasions!
And we were just making fun of how lame it would be
to be a dork who still plays with toys.
EMPEROR AWESOME: Radical! Makin' fun of stuff is tight.
What do you say we forget all this, and you tag along while I rage tonight!
I'm talkin' power. I'm talkin' ladies.
I'm talkin' millions of people screamin' your name. Lord Harry!
-Hater. -Hater!
Wow, hangin' with you would really elevate my street cred...
Umm...I mean, yeah...sounds cool, I guess.
I can chill with that.
Sir, what about our plans?
What about 'em? We'll finish when we get back. Come on, buddy, let's...
have you stay here and keep planning the invasion without me. Peace out.
(CAR REVVING)
Whoa!
Ugh. Bro, being impressed is lame.
If you wanna be cool, you gotta be impres-sive.
Whoa!
Which starts with looking awesome.
Thinkin' leather jacket for sure.
Definitely a hat. Fedora? Nah. Visor? Almost.
Sideways flat rim? Yeah.
These line-y stripey shades are hot right now.
And...there's nothing we can do about your face, so...let's hit the club!
(CROWD SCREAMING)
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
I've gotta call Peepers! He's not gonna believe this.
(NUMBER DIALING)
Forget Mr. Insurance Claims. Wouldn't you rather talk to...her?
M-my pet's name is Captain Tim.
Face...pretty. Your pretty face.
Face pretty.
Doin' all right, bro?
Yeah, I'm bored, too.
After-party!
♪ Wicked awesome ♪
Oh, snap, roll down the window.
(CLEARS THROAT) Hey, bros, you lookin' to party?
Ha! Are we ever!
Well, too bad, suckers!
Yeah, suckers!
(BOTH LAUGH)
♪ Awesome! Awesome! ♪
(BOTH) Psssh!
Some people are just born dorks.
He'll be back.
I bet he's bored of Awesome and his phony popularity.
He'll probably call any second now...
Yep, any second...
(SCREAMING) This is the most fun ever!
Gah!
How can he be so irresponsible?
He's out partying with that doofus when we have a major invasion tomorrow.
What could be more important than that?
(DOLL CRASHING INTO SOMETHING)
(BOTH CHEERING)
We put our faces on it!
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
(BOTH) Yeah!
(TIRES SCREECHING AWAY)
(PHONE RINGING)
Come on, answer!
Where are you? All the fun has to be drying up by now...right?
(CROWD CHEERING)
Who is the universe's awesomest evil-doer?
-Hater! -Whoooo!
(PEEPERS SIGHS)
What's the point? It's done.
He's gone, moved on, kicked old Peepers to the curb.
Probably doesn't even remember I exist.
(FALLS DOWN)
But you know what? I'm glad.
Lord Hater never really cared about
conquering the universe in the first place.
He just wanted to be popular.
Well, that is fine by me!
I can handle this by myself... 'cause some of us still care
-about things like galactic domination! -(WATCHDOGS CHEERING)
♪ Commander Peepers ♪
(ROOSTER CROWING)
LORD HATER: Dope.
Tight.
Sweet.
Sick.
You are a gentleman and a scholar, bro-rangutan.
Yeah, so...(YAWNS)
unless you've got some other super cool thing we can do,
I think I'm gonna hit it. We done here?
We could, uh, see who can eat pizza faster.
Or go to the comic store.
Oh, wait, let's tie glow sticks to our bikes and night ride.
What? Bro, we're not dorks. We make fun of dorks, remember?
No, I got a plan! I got a really good plan. You are gonna love it!
It's Lord Hater!
(RESIDENTS PANICKING)
You've got this, Peepers. You've got this.
Attention, Flankar 5!
I hereby declare this planet under new rule!
Pretty cool invasion, huh?
Not as cool as makin' fun of this nerd is gonna be.
-Good call, Hatester. -Thanks.
Wait, what? No...
Bow down to your new master!
EMPEROR AWESOME: Oh, sorry. I can't bow that low, pipsqueak.
Yo, dudes, are you really afraid of this runt?
-(RESIDENTS LAUGHING) -RESIDENT1: Poser!
RESIDENT2: That guy couldn't hurt a fly.
RESIDENT: He's teensy-weensy.
-Yeah, he's tiny. -Small.
PEEPERS: Silence! I am your new ruler, and you will do as I say,
because I am Commander Peepers of the Hater Empire!
Aw, ha ha. He's so cute.
RESIDENTS: Awwwww!
EMPEROR AWESOME: Ha ha! Hear that, nerd?
So just go back home and nerd out with your nerd toys.
Nerd!
Oh, yeah?
(RESIDENTS LAUGHING)
I'm a nerd? Well, that's fine!
'Cause nerds use their brains.
I set goals for myself, and then, through education and hard work,
I figure out ways to achieve them.
RESIDENT: Yes, but your goals are evil.
Shut your face!
What have you got, Awesome? Hmmm?
Arm bands, a hot tub? Ha!
One day, you'll wake up and realize all you've got is a bunch of ugly clothes,
no real friends, and as a villain, you're a failure!
EMPEROR AWESOME: I'm sorry. You...really made me think.
You dorks are good for one thing.
You make awesome punching bags. Literally.
Nobody picks on Peepers but me!
I really do hope you have that insurance.
(LORD HATER ROARING)
EMPEROR AWESOME: Whoa, cool.
LORD HATER: "Ah! No, Lord Hater, please spare me.
You are too cool and powerful. I surrender."
And I was all, "That's what you get for pickin' on my pal."
(SINGING) ♪ Commander Peepers! ♪
And then, Hater was all,
"Hey, maybe true friendship is better than being cool and popular."
LORD HATER: Get out of here!
(PEEPERS AND SYLVIA SIGH)
SYLVIA: Ah, the annual Tetsuon Jellyfish Migration
over the Statue of the Galactic Guru.
Oh, it's supposed to be one of the most beautiful sights in the galaxy!
Okay, up early. Just gotta make it a couple of blocks to...here.
Oh, what could go wrong?
Oh, right...Wander!
(INHALES) Gasp!
Yeah, that is a real nice hunk of plastic junk.
But if you wanna see the real Statue of the Galactic Guru,
we should probably...
(INHALES) Bigger gasp!
You know, the actual jellyfish migration might be more...
WANDER (INHALES): Biggest...gasp...possible!
Sigh.
(WANDER EXCLAIMING)
WANDER: Look, look, look, look, look... (SCREAMS)
Can we please not stop for every little thing?
We're gonna be late-er than we already are.
Wander. Wander! Wander, what are you looking at?
WANDER: Kiiittyyyy...
Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia. I want this.
Since when are you into souvenirs?
This is different. I need it.
Please, Sylvia. Please, please, please, please, please,
please...?
This little thingamahoozit is great!
Oh, my gosh, Sylvia, look! Kitty went into a sock and got stuck!
Yeah, that's nice, pal, but I don't do cute. Come on.
Sylvia! Kitty is wearing little boots!
Sylvia, now it has milk all over its 'ittle face.
Sylvia, the kitty is dancing now!
Oh, babycakes, you really are the most amazing kitty in the galaxy!
Ugh. Tell me, what is so amazing about cats being bad at stuff?
Wander?
Huh. Hey, look at that!
Whoa, I think that guy needs help!
Huh. (LAUGHS) Wow, thanks, kitty.
We'll be at the Statue of the Galactic Guru in no time.
SYLVIA: Wander, no!
Hey, we're not supposed to be walking here.
Wander.
(SYLVIA SCREAMS)
(WANDER CHUCKLES)
SYLVIA (SHOUTS): Wander!
WANDER: Ooh, ooh! (CHUCKLES)
Are...you...duh...
Ow! Ah! Ooh! Eeh!
(PILLOWCASE TEARING)
Aah! Ow!
Who's in a box? Youse in a box.
(ROBOTIC ARMS WHIRRING)
Oh! No! Wander!
SYLVIA: Rassafrassin' thingamahoozit.
Rassafrassin' cat videos.
Rassafassin' thingamahoozit with cat videos.
Oh, oh BabyCakes,
the predicaments you get yourself in.
(SYLVIA GASPS)
We're gonna miss the sunset. Hold on, Wander!
(SYLVIA PANTING)
(HORNS BLARING)
SYLVIA: Ahh! W-whoa! Hold on there steady!
Wander! You missed the whole thing!
(WANDER MEOWS AND HISSES)
Meow!
-Meow. -Man, what is with these videos anyway?
Meow!
Oh, no, I'd know those big gloopy eyes anywhere.
Lil' Bits! The most ruthless mercenary in the galaxy.
(WANDER MEOWING)
Meow!
Oh, this is bad. Who else has seen these?
(HYPNOTIC SOUND PLAYING)
(STATIC NOISE)
NEWS REPORTER: This just in. Breaking news.
BabyCakes is the cutest kitty in the whole galaxy.
If you don't love this adorable cat more than anything else in life,
you probably have no soul, and I want to destroy you.
I mean, just look at her lil' face.
Meow. Aww! Show your love for BabyCakes by prostrating yourself before her
and giving her all your riches. I know I will.
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY) BabyCakes!
WANDER (PURRING): Meow!
All right, ya Lil Bits, where are ya?
Not sure how I missed that.
(LITTLE BITS SNEEZES)
JELLYFISH: Aww!
Making twese videos is so inswulting to my intewwigence.
(POURING MILK)
(SLURPING SOUNDS)
But it'll all be worth it when the gawaxy is undah my contwol!
No one can wesist my cuteness.
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
-(DOOR SLAMMING OPEN) -SYLVIA: Wong!
I mean wrong!
WANDER (GASPS): BabyCakes!
LITTLE BITS: Wewll, if it isn't Wander and Tylvia.
This is wowking out even bettah than I pwannthed.
Wunnin' scams-running scams,
seems stwange-seems strange for a bounty huntah...hunter!
Argh! What's the angle, Bits?
I saw an oppwortunity, and I took it.
This is way more pwofitable.
And now, on top of all my witzes, and gawaxy-wide dwomination,
I can also have my wevenge on the two of you!
We won't wet you get away with this, will we, Wander...
D'oh!
(WHISPERS) BabyCakes, I love you.
That's wight, Wandah.
Just give in, Sylvia, and pwostrate yourself before me wike ev'wybody elth!
-SYLVIA: Th'orry. (GROANING) -(PHONE BREAKING)
(HYPNOTIC SOUND FADING)
Huh--I--wha?
I don't do cute.
Too wate. I've gone viwal. Oh, are you gonna beat up the gawaxy's favowite kitty
...wive on cam'wa?
(LITTLE BITS PURRING)
JELLYFISH: Aww!
No! No way is she gettin' away with this.
Okay, everybody, listen up!
I know you think this is the cutest kitty in the galaxy,
but she's really a greedy swindler controlling all of you
with these videos for her own profit.
(JELLYFISH BOOING)
I mean it. You have to fight back!
Look away from the screens. She's brainwashing you with her-Waah!
No! Uh! Argh! Yes!
(LITTLE BITS SNICKERING)
(JELLYFISH LAUGHING)
WANDER: Sylvia, are you okay?
I'm fine.
Wander, whatever you do, keep those cameras rolling.
JELLYFISH: Aww!
(TREADMILL WHIZZING)
(SYLVIA CRASHING)
(LITTLE BITS GROWLING)
JELLYFISH: Aww!
-Whoa, whoa! -(ROOMBA WHIZZING)
(JELLYFISH LAUGHING)
(JELLYFISH ALTERNATE BEEN "AWW" and LAUGHING)
(JELLYFISH BURST OUT LAUGHING)
JELLYFISH (CHEERING): Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia!
Sylvia, you saved us!
I don't know from exactly what, but you did it!
Nah, it was... ow...it was nothing, really. Don't even... ow... mention it.
(LITTLE BITS GROANING)
I'll get my wevenge on you, Wander and Sylvia.
You haven't seen the wast of me.
(JELLYFISH CHEERING)
JELLYFISH: Yeah! Yeah! Do the one where you fell down!
(JELLYFISH CHANTING) Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia!
JELLYFISH 1: Hey, look at this video of a turtle eating a pancake!
(JELLYFISH CHANTING) Turtle, turtle, turtle, turtle, turtle!
I guess I missed the jellyfish migration, didn't I?
I really wanted to see that.
Maybe not.
WANDER: It's even more beautiful than I thought it would be.
(GASPS) Let's post a selfie!
Duh no, no more flab-drassin' useless gizmos for...
Imaginary memory selfie!
Ka-chee!
SYLVIA: Oh, that's a keeper, all right.
Ooh!
Aah!
Ooh!
Aah!
Ooh!