(THEME SONG PLAYING)
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪
-(LASERS SHOOTING) -(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
(CLUCKING) Ha-ha, that's it.
Run, you chickens!
Run! For here to destroy your foul little lives,
is none other than
the Duke of Dread,
the Monarch of Mayhem,
the Emperor of Evil,
Lord Hater!
(FIRECRACKERS BURST)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
Lord Hater!
(FIRECRACKERS BURST)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(FRUSTRATED) Ah!
Lord Hater!
(FIREWORKS BURST)
I don't get it.
Oh, our leader, Lord Hater was supposed to show up
and act all evil and stuff, but...
Nobody move!
(KNOCKING)
PEEPERS: Lord Hater? Are you in here?
LORD HATER: (SOFTLY) No. Maybe. Go away.
(LORD HATER GRUNTS)
(CLAPS)
Sir, you missed your cue.
The Cluckons won't surrender without you.
So? What's the point, anyway?
What's the point?
Sir, if Cluckon falls, we'll control all of the Zegma System!
All of it! Just like we've always dreamed of doing.
(MUMBLES)
You're peeling apples to the core?
(MUMBLES)
Stealing pennies from the store?
(MUMBLES ANGRILY)
Earring fell on the floor?
I said, I'm not feeling it anymore!
Evil used to be all... (WHOOPING)
Now it's just all...
Eh. Know what I mean?
Everybody, back in the ship!
Nobody move. You're still almost conquered, okay?
We'll be right back.
(CLUCKING IN CONFUSION)
PEEPERS: So, you're in a bit of a slump.
That's fine. Happens to everyone.
You just need to do something to remind yourself
how fun evil can be. Something like...
blowing up a moon!
Come on, I know you want to do.
(EXPLOSION ON SCREEN)
(WATCHDOGS CHEERING)
Eh.
(GRUMBLES)
Blowing up a moon not doing it for you? That's fine.
I ordered the citizens of Ionia 7
to make a giant statue of you out of themselves.
Eh.
(FRUSTRATED GROAN)
(ALIENS SCREAMING)
PEEPERS: What if we terrorize the warrior women of Amazonia?
That always cheers you up.
Eh.
-(FRUSTRATED GROAN) -(BANGING ON GLASS)
PEEPERS: Awaken the space demon, Tormento?
It's Tormato! Argh!
(BELCHES)
Eh.
(MUFFLED SCREAM)
PEEPERS: Loot all the loot from Museopolis?
Eh.
(FRUSTRATED GROAN)
Mess with Greg?
Eh, it's all a big bunch of "eh"!
(SIGHS) I'll be in my room.
Sir, listen, we've been working really hard on taking control
of the Zegma System for months.
Cluckon is the last step, and it's just sitting there,
waiting to be conquered.
LORD HATER: So?
(ANGRILY) So? Get off your bony butt, do your stupid job
and conquer them already!
(LORD HATER GROWLS ANGRILY)
(CALMLY) I mean, you wanna talk about it?
No, it's just... I don't know.
When did being evil become so complicated?
I mean, it used to be so cool, you know?
Back in the old days, just being a jerk, cruising around the galaxy,
picking on the weak and defenseless it just made me feel so awesome.
Now I got this big ship,
this army and these responsibilities.
You make the plans, the army conquers the planet,
and all I do is coming at the end and do my big, scary,
(SHOUTS) Rawr!
(IMITATING THUNDER)
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
thing.
It's...
It's just no fun anymore!
(DINGS)
Sir, I have an idea.
♪ Ignition ♪
♪ Rear-view mirrors ♪
♪ Seat belts for safety ♪
♪ Hater! ♪
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Bet you didn't even know we restored your old van, huh?
Kinda cool, I guess.
What lame place you taking me to now?
Oh, you'll see.
(ENGINE REVVS)
PEEPERS: So, you miss the old days, eh?
Need to be reminded of why you got into evil in the first place, huh?
You mentioned the weak and defenseless.
Well, I'd like you to meet
the Mooplexians!
LORD HATER: Whoah, they're so dumb!
I mean, look at them, all weird and stuff.
Man, I just wanna go up to their dumb faces and...
(ROARS)
(CHUCKLES) Well?
(EVIL LAUGH)
(LORD HATER ROARS)
(MAKING RANDOM SOUNDS)
Peepers, that felt good!
I want more!
(BOTH TOGETHER) Yeah!
♪ When you feel alone like your top's gonna blow ♪
♪ And you're ready to drill it through ♪
♪ Go find some loser with a dumb-looking face ♪
♪ And make him feel worse than you ♪
♪ 'Cause hate's great ♪
♪ You know you like it ♪
♪ Hate's great ♪
♪ Well, at least you should ♪
♪ Hate's great ♪
♪ Makes you feel awesome ♪
♪ Being evil is good! ♪
♪ Come on! ♪
-So dumb! -(BOTH LAUGH)
♪ Getting down and getting on your nerves ♪
♪ And you don't exactly know just why ♪
♪ No need to bother to figure that out now ♪
♪ Just try and make 'em cry ♪
♪ 'Cause hate's great ♪
♪ You know you like it ♪
♪ Hate's great ♪
♪ Well, at least you should ♪
♪ Hate's great ♪
♪ Makes you feel awesome ♪
♪ Being evil is good! ♪
♪ Oh no! ♪
How you feeling now, sir? Bad?
So bad.
(SLAPPING)
♪ Now let's be clear when I say, "Bad is good" ♪
♪ I don't mean that literally ♪
Take that! (LAUGHS)
Oh, you tell them, sir!
♪ Hate's great ♪
♪ You know you like it ♪
♪ Hate's great ♪
♪ Well, at least you should ♪
♪ Hate's great ♪
♪ Being evil is good! ♪
♪ Hate's great ♪
(BOTH LAUGHING)
♪ Hate's great ♪
♪ Being evil is good! ♪
LORD HATER: Yes! I am back, baby!
Phew! Finally.
You hear that, Universe?
The Duke of Dread,
the Monarch of Mayhem,
the Emperor of Evil has returned!
Now, with my mojo back,
there is nothing that can stop
Lord Hater!
The greatest in all the galaxy!
(EVIL LAUGH)
Hate's great, best villain!
(BOTH LAUGH)
BOTH: Huh?
We tire of the sense of superiority you seemed to garner from picking
on the physical shells that we happen to inhabit.
Perhaps you need to see just how insignificant
your so-called "greatness" really is.
Little do you know that we have evolved
beyond impressive corporeal forms
Our real lives are spent in our minds.
We sail the seas of cosmic consciousness,
a vast and endless ocean of knowledge, in which you are nothing more
than a minuscule molecule
drowning in misunderstanding.
Now back in your van,
sad little man,
and never forget how you, Lord Hater,
are so not the greatest in all the galaxy.
Now be off with you.
(DRONING)
Oh, great and noble Mooplexians,
we humble ourselves in the presence of your all-knowing wisdom.
(DRONING CONTINUES)
Seriously? We came all this way to see these guys?
Ultimate cosmic knowledge comes in all shapes and sizes.
Forgive her!
She knows not what she does.
SYLVIA: So, how long do we have to stay down here?
At last!
The Lost Temple of Tagathoria!
Resting place of the light half
of the all-powerful Sword of Synergy!
which when combined...
(GAGGING)
(MUTTERS)
Which, when combined with my dark half,
graciously lent to me by the warrior monks of Malakar...
will give me the power to conquer
the entire univer...
(GASPS)
BRAD: Too late, Hate... er!
The Sword of Synergy will soon be where it belongs -
in the hands of a true hero!
Brad Starlight!
I should have known you'd show up with your
stupid chin and your dumb cape!
It's not dumb! It's hand stitched!
And my chin is perfect!
(SQUEALS)
LORD HATER: You'll never defeat me, Starlight!
You might as well give up now!
Not as long as there's an ounce of strength left in my lithe,
well-sculpted body.
Hey!
Hello!
(SHOUTING)
WANDER: Bradley! Hateley! Buddies!
What are you sillies doing here?
Hey, I'm playing Hide and Seek with Sylvia. Y'all wanna play too?
Okay. Come and get me!
(WANDER LAUGHING)
BOTH: Wander? I can't believe he came here to stop me!
Whoah! Came here to stop you?
Uh, yeah, he's my greatest enemy.
WANDER: Hey guys! Hide and Seek! Let's go!
Wander ruined my wedding!
If it wasn't for him, I'd be married to a super-pretty princess!
So? Wander's ruined dozens of my plans.
One of which also involved my wedding!
Really? How?
His dumb friend Sylvia was in disguise.
You mean his steed? (LAUGHS)
You almost married his horse!
It was a very convincing disguise.
WANDER (MOCKING): Bet you can't find me!
(GROWLING)
Wanna put this whole sword thing on hold for a sec, and go destroy him?
So, you're offering me your services to help me in my quest to destroy Wander?
Yeah, sure, whatever.
By Zargo, I'm in!
To battle!
-LORD HATER: Here, follow me. -Great idea!
The scout goes first, the leader takes up the rear.
What? No, I'm the leader.
That's why I'm in the front!
Leading.
(BOTH GROWL)
First one to find Wander is the leader!
♪ Hiding and seeking ♪
♪ Running and peeking ♪
♪ Playing with my friends ♪
♪ Searching and grinning ♪
♪ And tree trunks and wedges ♪
♪ Oh, the fun never ends! ♪
♪ Climbing rock creatures ♪
♪ And kicking small creatures ♪
♪ 'til I meet my end ♪
♪ Hiding and seeking ♪
WANDER: You're getting colder!
♪ Playing with my friends! ♪
(GROWLS)
WANDER: Colder!
WANDER: Oh, come on, you're practically living in an igloo!
Ooh! Warmer!
(EXCITED) Warmer!
So warm!
-Boiling hot like a whole lot of lava! -(BUSH RUSTLES)
♪ Hiding and seeking! ♪
WANDER: Ah, no. Cold again. Real frigid.
Whoah, Whoah, Whoah!
Are we just playing Hide-and-Go-Seek right now?
We totally are!
Just like he wanted!
Ah, this always happens!
(ANGRILY) I hate him so much!
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
No matter.
I will devise a snare most devious and force our quarry to come to us.
Hey, if we're doing traps,
I'm totally the one in charge.
I'm, like, the best at traps.
Fine. Set your own snare.
We'll see who snares Wander first.
It shall be me to snare him.
I shall be the Snare Master!
Stop saying 'snare'!
Man, those guys are not very good at this game.
"Now, Wander, that's not fair.
They might compensate for their poor seeking skills
by being spectacular hiders." You never know.
LORD HATER (HIGH PITCHED): Help! Help me!
Gasp! Someone is in need of help!
I must be off.
(IN HIGH PITCH) I'm in the most horrible trouble.
I need somebody to 'wander' by and help me!
Please!
Oh, thank goodness!
A brave and noble do-gooder approaches to
(IN NORMAL VOICE) fall right into my trap.
Brad? Are you serious?
Fair maiden with skin of finest alabaster,
it is I, Brad Starlight.
I'm here to rescue you.
Brad, it's me.
Thank goodness I found you first.
For roaming these woods, is an ill-tempered skeleton man.
As mean as he is ugly. Oh, it's you.
That was your plan?
Please, that would have never worked.
It just worked on you!
You totally just thought I was a stupid fair maiden.
A beautiful fair maiden.
I mean, can we try my plan now? It's way better.
Fine. Whatever.
This is the exact same plan!
It certainly is not.
My high cheekbones make me a much more effective lure.
Also, I'm a redhead.
-(LORD HATER GROWLS) -WANDER: Time out.
I have been hiding forever!
Are we even playing Hide and Seek?
Or are we playing some kind of dress-up game with each other?
Got you!
WANDER: Well, technically you gotta let me hide again first.
Leader? (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Peepers, come get me!
No, I don't have the sword, but I captured Wander!
Long story. Ready to torture...
Not so fast, Hater!
Only one of us shall have the duty, nay, privilege,
nay, pleasure of destroying Wander. And that's me.
-Sir Brad Star... -(CRACKLING)
(EVIL LAUGH)
Ha! Snare!
(LAUGHING)
BRAD: Ha ha!
Um, if either of y'all need a refresher on the rules of Hide and Seek...
Quiet!
BRAD: He's mine! (GRUNTING) Ooh!
(BRAD AND LORD HATER SCREAMING)
LORD HATER: I hate you...
(INDISTINCT FIGHTING)
Well, I'm gonna go hide again do Sylvia can find me.
Y'all join in whenever you're ready.
LORD HATER: I hate you! BRAD: That's enough. Quit it!
(BOTH PANTING)
Oh!
You let him get away!
Me? Yeah, you!
If you'd just given me your half of the Sword of Synergy,
I could have destroyed him!
SYLVIA: 4,999,997,
4,999,998,
4,999,999,
Five million.
(YAWNS) Oh, boy, I sure love these Hide and Seek sessions.
Best idea I ever had.
Wander gets a game, I get a nap,
-and everything works out just fine. -(EXPLOSION)
Uh-oh.
BOTH: Yes!
We have assembled the Sword of Synergy!
And together,
each contributing equally,
and taking exactly half the credit,
BOTH: We will use it to destroy Wander!
Now, where is he?
BRAD: Ah-ha!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
BOTH: Finally, my...
I mean, our most hated enemy,
will be destroyed!
Even though this may be the end, I'm just so happy
the last thing I get to see is good and evil
putting aside their differences to work together.
Stop being so positive.
Just ignore him. It's kind of his thing.
I'm serious.
Brad, it's so nice that you talked Hater over to the side of good.
-Say what, now? -Why, thank you, Wander.
He is quite the scoundrel.
Hold on!
If anything, I converted you to the side of evil!
Please. I demurred for the sake of compromise,
but I am clearly the dominant force in this partnership!
Are you kidding me? Look at him!
He's a good guy.
A helpful, friendly good guy that
you're helping me destroy for the forces of evil!
Nuh-uh. I'm the hero and heroes fight bad guys,
and kiss pretty ladies!
Working with you was a big mistake.
Give me the sword! I'll destroy him myself!
No! I want to do it.
Aw, even when you guys fight, it's clear you make a really good team.
We do not!
(GROWLING)
SYLVIA: Wander!
You okay, buddy?
Sylvia, you found me!
(SOFTLY) They're having a bit of a BFF tiff.
We are not BFFs!
-BRAD: Not my face! -We should probably get going.
Okie-doke.
Also, it's your turn to hide.
-BRAD: Stop it! -LORD HATER: I hate you!
BRAD: Well, I hate you more.
(FIGHTING)
BRAD: Ouch!
LORD HATER: Oh, are you okay?
BRAD: Stop it!
LORD HATER: I hate you!