(THEME SONG PLAYING)
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Wander! Yonder! Wander! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
(LORD HATER LAUGHS)
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪
Guh. There's gotta be something nice
to say about this cold, drab, dreary, and empty place.
Hmm. Though plain and simple,
this cute little planet has tons of potential, with room to grow!
Ah, you really think so?
(FLOWER GIGGLES)
FLOWER: You think I'm cute? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Also, it talks.
Hello, planet.
I'm Wander. What's your name?
Oh, um, I'm afraid I don't know. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I've never needed a name before.
I do believe I've always liked the name "Janet."
Nice to meet you, Planet Janet.
JANET: Oh, and I'm ever so delighted to meet you, Wander,
Oh, please forgive my ghastly appearance.
If I knew someone was coming, I would have gussied up a bit.
Though why would I even bother?
It's not like I've had any visitors.
Ever.
Well, that is some sort of shame.
Those folks don't know what they're missing.
Oh, Wander. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
I'd tell ya, in all our travels,
we've never once come across a talking planet.
(SCOFFS)
"We"?
Well, buddy, I have been all over this cold, drab, dreary and empty place,
and all I can say is "boring."
Come on, let's get out of here.
Sylvia, meet Janet.
(SILENCE)
Janet, this is Sylvia, my best pal.
There isn't a mountain too high, a valley too low,
or a river too wide to keep apart
a pair of pals like she and I.
JANET: Oh, it's very nice to meet you, Sylvia.
(COLD BREEZE BLOWS)
Talking planet, huh? Crazy.
Well, nice to meet you, Janice.
JANET: (YELLING) Wander, wait, don't go!
(RUMBLING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(BOTH GASPING)
Janet, this is amazing!
Sylvia, come on in! The water's wet.
(THUDS)
(GRUNTS)
JANET: Oh, Wander, I do hope you enjoyed your swim.
How would you like to spin dry?
(JANET GIGGLES)
Wander, that tickles.
Come on, Sylvia, just roll with it.
-(THUDDING) -Ouch. Ouch.
Ahhh.
(THUDS)
-(GROANS) -(THUDS)
(SIGHS) Janet, I don't know how this day could get any better!
(JANET GIGGLES)
JANET: I do.
(RUMBLING)
(LAUGHING)
Sylvia...
(STAMMERING) This is just... Now...
Look... See...
Uh, hey. So, Janet, you think I could get a boost or something?
JANET: (DRYLY) Oh, uh, sure. Of course.
-(RUMBLING) -I'm coming, Wander! (LAUGHS)
Really?
JANET (SWEETLY) So, Wander, what do you think? (CHUCKLES)
Janet, I have seen a lot of sunsets in my travels.
But yours takes the cake, the icing and the cherry on top.
JANET: Oh, Wander, hearing you say that melts my already molten core.
Here, have another.
-Wow! -JANET: And another.
-Amazing! -JANET: And another.
Incredible.
Ooh, Sylvia. Have you ever seen anything like it?
No. No, I haven't.
(RUMBLING)
Ew. Sylvia. Watch out for that bush.
I think it's poison jivey.
Of course it is.
JANET: Oh, Wander, I can't tell you
how simply wonderful it's been to have you here.
You make me feel like a newly formed celestial body.
Today was like my Big Bang all over again!
Aww... Thanks, Janet.
We had fun today, too. Right, Sylvia?
Oh, is "fun" the word we're settling on here?
JANET: You know, the fun doesn't have to end.
You could...
stay.
That's a great idea.
-We'll stay... -(YELLS) Tonight.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) We'll stay tonight and then tomorrow we really have to go.
JANET: Well, settles that, then.
(WIND BLOWS)
(COUGHING)
JANET: Thank you for giving me the greatest day of my life, Wander.
And don't forget Sylvia.
JANET: (SCOFFS) I won't.
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)
(RUMBLES)
(RUMBLING)
(SIGHS) Morning, Wander.
What do you say we hit that...
(GASPS)
JANET: (SING-SONG) Morning, Sylvia!
What have you done with Wander?
JANET: Oh, Wander is fine. He's right where you left him,
give or take a mountain.
Listen, you oversized chunk of carbon!
There isn't a mountain too high, a valley too low, or a river too wide
to keep apart a pair of pals like Wander and I.
JANET: What a strangely specific challenge.
-(RUMBLING) -JANET: (DEEP VOICE) I accept!
JANET: Oh, let's see...
mountain high.
(SYLVIA SCREAMING)
JANET: Valley low...
(SYLVIA SCREAMING)
JANET: What's next? Oh, yes.
(YELLS) Goodbye, Sylvia!
(SYLVIA SCREAMING)
JANET: Good morning, my wonderful Wander.
(SIGHS) Morning, Janet.
-Where's Sylvia? -Oh, she went for a climb.
And then a hike. And then a swim.
Who wants brekkies?
(MUFFLED SQUEAL)
Pancakes.
Well, aren't you the hostess with the mostest.
JANET: All for my guest whom I love the best! (GIGGLES)
I can't wait for Sylvia to get back.
If there's one thing I know about Sylvia, it's that exercise makes her hungry.
If there's two things I know about Sylvia,
it's that she loves having her snout scratched.
If there's three things I know about Sylvia...
JANET: (YELLS) Enough!
(IN NORMAL VOICE) There will be enough for Sylvia when she gets back.
Now, have a dessert.
(GASPS)
Y'all have pie after a breakfast?
JANET: (SWEETLY) Wander, my darling,
as long as you stay here, you can have whatever you want.
(CHUCKLES)
(COUGHING)
Okay. That was...
That was almost too wide.
Almost.
That was delec-ticious.
JANET: A combination of "delectable" and "delicious"?
JANET: (EXCITED) Oh, I knew it! (GIGGLES) We know each other so well.
I haven't had a meal that good
since we camped out on Binglebop and Sylvia made waffles.
Speaking of Sylvia, I need to walk off this breakfast belly.
Maybe I'll go take a hike, See if I can find her.
-(THUDS) -JANET: Go? (GIGGLES)
Why would you need to go anywhere?
(JANET CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Do... Do you like it?
You like it, don't you?
Tell me you like it!
Please!
SYLVIA: (IN DISTANCE) Wander!
JANET AND WANDER: Sylvia?
No!
JANET: Just one second, Wubsy.
I'll be right with you. (CHUCKLES)
(SCREAMING)
JANET: (YELLING) I gave you the chance to leave in one piece!
But you just wuv your wittle Wander, huh?
Well, now...
(IN DEEP VOICE) this... is... happening!
(SYLVIA SCREAMING)
Ahhh...
JANET: So long, Sylvia! It was so nice to eat you.
(BURPING)
Oops. Excuse me. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, Janet.
You are a lovely planet.
You really are, but Sylvia and I should probably be on our way.
(THUDS)
JANET: (YELLING) Sylvia. Sylvia. Sylvia! Ahhh!
You know what Sylvia did? She left!
She would never.
JANET: Yes! She left you here!
And now, it's just you and me, Wander!
Until the end of time!
(RUMBLING)
(TRIUMPHANT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Sylvia!
There isn't a chasm deep enough!
Come on, Wander, let's orb!
JANET: (YELLING) You are not going anywhere with my Wandy-wubsy-woo-woo!
(RUMBLING)
She's trapping us in her orbit.
If getting lava-balled by a jealous planet is how we go out, buddy,
well, I'm just glad we're doing it together.
I couldn't agree more.
I love ya, Sylvia.
You too, Wander, you too!
(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)
(JANET CRYING)
-What happened? -Who the grop cares? Let's get outta here!
(JANET CRYING)
We got to go back.
What? Are you crazy too?
(SYLVIA GROWLS)
Hey, Janet.
JANET: Hey.
Sorry I got a little weird. (GIGGLES NERVOUSLY)
What? No! (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
I was wrong to try and force you to love me.
All I ever wanted was a friendship like you and Sylvia have.
But I guess that's not in the stars for me.
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Hello. I am Maurice, your moon.
Oh, charmed. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
I don't mean to be forward, but I find myself very attracted to you.
JANET: Ah, you. (GIGGLES)
You, Janet, are my world.
-Should we say goodbye? -No.
Let's... Let them have their space.
Oh, Janet, your Southern hemisphere is so curvilinear.
JANET: Ah, ooh, you keep talking like that,
you're gonna melt my polar ice caps. (CHUCKLES)
PEEPERS: Ah, Flendar.
Their fortress city protects them from any invasion.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Not!
Lord Hater has attacked our south gate when we least expected it.
What a brilliant and well-coordinated invasion.
(EXPLOSION)
(GUN FIRING)
In my heart, I always knew our planet
would fall to the military genius of the almighty Lord Hater.
WATCHDOGS: (CHANTING) Hate's great! Best villain!
Your plan worked perfectly, Commander Peepers.
You are a capable and worthy advisor.
(LEGENDARY MUSIC PLAYING)
So, that's just my little pitch for the invasion today.
Thoughts, sir?
(SILENCE)
-Sir? -Peepers...
Truly, your incompetence knows no bounds!
Did you really think I would approve of a plan
with such a glaring and fundamental flaw?
Sir, I don't... I was very...
Wander!
What are we going to do about Wander?
'Cause the moment we try to invade, that furry freak
will show up and play a song,
or have a picnic, or challenge me to a contest, and just ruin everything.
Sir. I know Wander has caused us issues, but the chances of him showing up
every single place we go...
Your plan is bad. Deal with it!
We need a completely new idea.
Yeah, something fresh and edgy.
Something that really pops.
Something totally Wander-proof.
Peepers!
Reserve a conference room.
It's time for...
LORD HATER: All right, Peepers.
Wow me.
Okay, sir. How about this?
We don't use the army.
We use...
Doom Dragons.
(DRAGON SCREECHING)
PEEPERS: Air superiority.
Massive firepower.
Oh, they won't stand a chance.
-(SCREECHING) -LORD HATER: No.
If we attack with Doom Dragons,
Wander's going to show up and tame 'em
with the power of wuv or something gross like that.
And now Wander has an army of Doom Dragons, great work, Peepers.
Okay, that's fine.
We don't even go down to the fortress.
We'll just destroy them with an electric laser.
Wham, bam, perfect plan.
(WHIRRING)
LORD HATER: Till Wander takes its batteries.
PEEPERS: We'll bring backup batteries.
LORD HATER: He'll take those too.
PEEPERS: We'll bring lots of backup batteries.
LORD HATER: Peepers, will you just think for one second before you talk, okay?
How could he even... You're being such a...
Okay, forget the direct approach.
We'll steal their princess,
force her to marry you.
(WEDDING MARCH MUSIC PLAYING)
(KISSES)
Then the entire planet will rightfully be yours.
LORD HATER: Unless that was simply Wander disguised as the princess.
And now, I'm married to Wander. Is that what you want, Peepers?
For me to marry the person I hate the most in the entire universe?
PEEPERS: (SIGHS) Fine.
(REWINDING)
PEEPERS: We'll steal the king.
Without strong leadership, Flendar will descend into chaos.
(SCREAMING) No!
(LAUGHING)
LORD HATER: Until Wander shows up, and teaches them to be self-reliant,
and live in perfect equality and harmony.
And he'll also rescue the king somehow.
I didn't wanna bring this up, it's still very experimental.
The Planetary Mind Combobulator!
Powered by your evil energies,
it will let you control the entire planet with a single thought.
Huh?
Hmm.
No. Banjo.
-Banjo? -Banjo.
Now, sir. I've understood some of your objections,
but a banjo? How could a banjo possibly...
Vibrational frequency of Wander's banjo will just happen to match the frequency
-of the Mind Comma-Lom-Bom-Bulator... -It's Combobulator.
LORD HATER: Whatever. Causing it to explode.
The Bob-Call-You-Later will zap us, and we'll wake up in a fishing village,
no idea who we are or how we got there.
We'll start over as simple fishermen
and life will be good.
That is, until Rosa shows up.
(KISSES)
Our competition for Rosa's affection will destroy our partnership.
(THUMPS)
And she'll end up with Ron the Baker.
We'll both end up sad old men, wondering what might have been.
Why couldn't you just let me have her, Peepers?
Rosa and I would have been so happy together!
(SOBBING)
Anyway, that's why your dumb Comb-Over-Embulator won't work.
Can we please just... What if we block out their sun?
(ALL SHIVERING)
Warmth-generating group hug.
Melt their icecaps?
Pool Party Planet.
Destroy all their crops and starve them into submission?
LORD HATER: Wander will just come along and hand out, you know, uh...
WATCHDOG: Sandwiches?
Yay!
Yeah, what Bob said. Sandwiches.
I, uh, actually just wanted lunch.
Ooh. Good idea.
Who's got menus?
Sir, we don't have time!
WATCHDOG: Okay, who got French fries?
(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)
Sorry, guess they forgot yours.
It's possible I was being too negative before.
Ah.
I need to be more receptive to the ideas of my subordinates.
So tell me, what do you...
guys think?
Sharks, but less dangerous.
Interesting, Interesting. Keep them coming, guys.
We, uh, take a cooking class with them?
No bad ideas.
-Really big laser on the moon! -Hmm, sounds familiar.
Socks, but for hands!
Gloves? You mean gloves.
I'm putting down "gloves."
I need to go to the bathroom.
Not a pitch, still writing it down.
(ALL WATCHDOGS TALKING AT ONCE)
(YELLING) Stop! It's getting us nowhere!
(SILENCE)
I had a plan for you this morning.
A good plan. A solid plan.
A brilliant, foolproof plan.
Can I pitch you that plan one more time?
(SIGHS)
Okay. We'll approach the fortress from the south with four platoons.
(SCREECHING)
LORD HATER: What if Wander distracts 'em with a silly dance,
and Sylvia pulls their pants down?
(SHIVERING)
PEEPERS: We'll just give them tighter belts.
LORD HATER: What if she ties their shoelaces together?
PEEPERS: We don't have shoelaces.
LORD HATER: What if Wander disguises himself as me
and orders the Watchdogs to stop the attack?
PEEPERS: We'll give them an X-ray scanner.
LORD HATER: What if Wander throws a picnic, and invites the Watchdogs,
and because his pie is so good, they all go?
PEEPERS: We'll bring giant ants.
LORD HATER: What if he knows a giant anteater?
PEEPERS: We'll bring a giant anteater-eater!
LORD HATER: What if he brings a... PEEPERS: And so on!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
LORD HATER: What if Wander challenges me to some carnival games?
Then you don't... play... the... games.
(ROCK MUSIC RESUMES)
LORD HATER: What if Wander flies in at the last moment
and shoots a shrink ray from his eyes that makes us all teeny-tiny?
(BLOWS)
He can't do that!
Are you sure?
We'll bring a radioactive power-absorbing crystal, just in case!
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)
ALL: (CHANTING) Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain!
Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain!
(SILENCE)
You know, this just... might... work.
Really?
Yes.
Yes. Yes!
With this plan, Flendar's defenses will crumble before us!
Their puny pathetic planet will soon belong to Lord...
(GULPS)
(LOUDLY) Lord...
Uh-oh.
-Uh-oh? -Banjo.
Banjo?
♪ Banjo, banjo, banjo, banjo, banjo, banjo ♪
Banjo.
(THUDS)
How'd that happen?
It doesn't matter.
What's the point?
Whatever I do, Wander's going to find a way to stop me.
Invasion off. Everybody out.
(MARCHING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Sir, you're forgetting one thing.
LORD HATER: Yeah? What's that?
You're Lord Hater!
The most powerful, most evil villain in the entire universe!
And while Wander may have beaten you a few times,
the Lord Hater I know would never let some furry weirdo get in his head,
he'd just keep conquering planets and doing evil!
(THUDS)
♪ Evil, evil ♪
And if Wander did show up...
(GUNSHOT)
The Lord Hater I know would just use his powers
to blast him into the next dimension!
(LORD HATER LAUGHING)
(YELLS) Yes!
Peepers, you're right.
I am awesome.
I can't let some do-gooder in a dumb hat psych me out!
Oh, that's great, sir.
So, which plan do you want to use?
What? Oh, that one you had in the beginning was fine, or whatever.
Let's do this!
WATCHDOGS: (CHANTING) Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain!
(ENGINE ACCELERATING)
LORD HATER AND PEEPERS: Banjo.
♪ Doodley doot da doot doot ♪
(SONG PLAYING)
♪ Who is the universe's ♪
♪ Loneliest evil-doer? ♪
♪ Lord Hater, Lord Hater ♪
♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
LORD HATER: (WHISPERS) Rosa.