(THEME SONG PLAYING)
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Wander! Yonder! Wander! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
(LORD HATER LAUGHS)
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Wander! Wander! Over! Over! ♪
♪ Yonder! Yonder! Wander! Yonder! ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander Over Yonder! ♪
♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪
Don't do it, Wander.
Sylvia.
Don't do it.
-I can't help it. -Wander!
I got to know what's in this box!
(BOX CREAKS)
SYLVIA: No, you don't, Wander.
We're going to deliver that box just like we promised that guy.
SYLVIA: It's the least we can do.
And we're not going to open it, just like we promised.
Look, Wander. Don't sweat. It'll go like this.
We take a detour, get the box to Glen.
Whoever he is, he opens it right there.
You go, "Wow, that's amazing."
We get on with our lives. Bada bing bada boom.
(WANDER GROANS)
You can do this. I believe in you.
You're right. Ha!
Whatever's in here is probably not all that interesting anyway.
Like blank address labels, or stickers, or flash cards,
or a chocolate spoon, or a green eraser, or a disposable pillow,
or a night vision monocle, or a fake lung, or tinsel,
or a bat, or a hat, or a bat with a hat, or a hat with a bat.
Here, get your mind off things.
Oh. A great idea.
Singing songs always soothes my sorrows.
(TUNING BANJO)
Oh!
(SINGING) ♪ Box, box, box, box, box What's in the box? ♪
♪ Clocks, blocks, rocks, lox A feller named Jacques? ♪
-Maybe we should just turn in. -Ah, even better.
Snoozing the spell always whiles away my worries.
-Night, Wander. -Night, box. See ya.
(LOUD CREAKING)
(GROANS) For crap sake. Keep it...
(CREAKING)
You were up all night, weren't you?
Thinking about the box?
Oh. We really got to get to Glen's.
-(CREAKING) -And fast.
Okay. These space coasters are great. Way faster than the orbble transporter.
You wait here and I'll get the tickets.
Sylvia, I don't think this is such a good idea.
(SIGHS WEARILY)
Listen. It's probably nothing inside. Just (STAMMERS)... a dumb pair of socks.
Whenever you feel tempted, just say to yourself, "Pair of socks."
Pair of socks.
Perfect. You got this.
Pair of socks, pair of socks, pair of socks.
(DEEP VOICE) Give me the box.
Give me the box.
(SCREAMS) Pair of socks, pair of socks,
pair of socks, pair of socks, pair of socks...
-(SCREAMING) -(GASPS)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(GASPS)
(CRYING)
-Give us the box. -Give us the box.
(WANDER SCREAMING)
Wander. Oh, geez, I've been looking for you everywhere.
You scared the flarf out of me.
(PANTS) There are these guys, and then there's
screaming and the laughing and the crying in the night...
Just point 'em out, bud, I'll take him down.
They're right over...
there?
Come on, pal. You can rest on the train.
(SNORING)
(SYLVIA SNORTS, MOANS)
(SNORING)
(GASPS)
Wander? Wander?
(ECHOING) Wander? Wander?
Wander? Wander? Wander!
♪ Box, box, box, box, what's in the box? ♪
♪ Might be your clothes, or big computer or a brand new pair of socks to wear ♪
♪ Box, box, box, box, what... ♪
(GROWLING)
♪ Box, box, box, box ♪
(GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
(GASPING)
It's okay, buddy. We're here.
Phew! Thank goodness that's over.
Now I can finally find out what's in this...
(SHUDDERING)
(WANDER SCREAMING)
(SCREAM ECHOES)
Final stretch, pal. You can make it.
Huh? (SNIFFING)
Cookies? The salty seashore of Tralfar 5?
(SNIFFS) Nana's old timey potpourri?
(SHOUTS) I got to know what's in this box!
Resist it, Wander. I know you can.
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
SYLVIA: Hang on, buddy.
(BRAKES SCREECH)
I didn't open the box.
No, you didn't, my friend. No, you didn't.
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
WANDER: "Gone fishing"?
(MUMBLING)
(SCREAMING)
No!
♪ Box, box, box, box, something in the box ♪
You can't box me, Boxia! I'm gonna box this box and there is noth...
A box a box can box box!
(SIGHS) Go ahead. Do it.
Huh?
Listen, I believe you can overcome this,
but it doesn't matter if you don't believe it yourself.
(SIGHS HEAVILY) I sure hope Glen catches some fish soon.
Proud of you, buddy.
As am I.
(WANDER GASPS)
For you, Glen.
GLEN: Thank you, my friend.
This is a fine deed you have performed.
I am a Lord of Illumination. As are they.
Uh-huh. So... What's in the box?
The box was a test. And Wander, you passed.
Wow. Thanks. That is amazing. So, what's in the box?
(CHUCKLES)
No, you see the box was a symbol.
Because you did not open it, you have earned strength of character.
Mm-hmm. But could you show me what's in the box?
Because it could be so many things.
Like a bat, or a hat, or a bat, with a hat, or a hat with a bat, or...
-(WANDER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) -This whole thing was a setup.
-There's nothing in the box, is there? -Yes. Yes, you get it.
-Could you please help me explain? -WANDER: Pair of socks, pair of socks...
Listen, you cosmic creeps.
My buddy here doesn't want your greater consciousnesses hullabaloo!
What he wants is to see something in the box!
So put something in the box.
(STUTTERS) We are the Lords of Illumination.
And I don't think you can talk to us this way.
Okay, okay. It's cool, it's cool.
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
WANDER: Flashcards and stickers...
blank address labels, or a pair of socks or pair of socks...
Uh, Wander.
Uh. Behold.
Ta-da-da!
WANDER: Oh. Will you look at that?
A piece of string.
A hard candy, an old penny and a World's Greatest Grandpa keychain.
Okay, thanks. See you, fellas.
Our intent was to teach Wander, but it seems as though
-we were the ones in need-- -Oh, just stop it.
-I didn't know you were a grandpa. -You never ask me about my personal life.
You know, when I woke up this morning,
all I wanted was a nice piece of Slarnack's Deli's
delectable jellyfish pie.
-(WANDER GAGS) -Mm-mm!
But instead, this is happening!
(CREATURE ROARS)
Let's see if the ol' hat will help!
Thank you, hat.
(SYLVIA SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
(WANDER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
What? I can't hear you.
(SYLVIA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Hmm.
I mean, seriously!
How can you expect me to hear you from... Ow!
WANDER: (OVER CAN PHONE) Ring, ring, ring. I said catch me.
(ROARING)
Reach to that hat
and get something else to get us outta here!
(MONSTER ROARS)
Oh! Give it to me!
Flamethrower, flamethrower, come on. Flamethrower!
Yoga mat?
Wind chimes, scented candle.
(WOMAN OVER TAPE) Take a deep, cleansing breath into your chakras.
Oh! Why won't this overgrown sunvisor give me what I want?
Funny thing, Silvy.
You see, over the years, I've learned that this hat doesn't give you what you want.
It gives you what you need. And right now, it thinks you need to calm down.
SYLVIA: I do not need to calm down!
A stress ball.
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
(STUTTERS) Wait. I... What?
Victory dance!
The hat works for you.
Not for me.
Loves you.
It totally hates me.
(GASPING)
Wander? Wander?
(SCREAMING) Wander!
WANDER: (OVER CAN PHONE) Ring, Ring, ring. Sylvia?
Wander! Wander! Where are you?
WANDER: Sylvia?
(SHOUTING) Sylvia!
-Is this thing on? -(FEEDBACK WHINES)
Can you hear me?
-Wander? -I can't hear you at all.
Are you moving around? You should maybe try moving around.
(GROANS)
Just tell me where you are!
Oh, maybe I should just tell you where I am.
Well, I'm not sure where I am.
It's wet, dark and warm.
And there's water sloshing all around me.
But don't you worry about me. I've got the hat.
Oh, wait. You've got the hat.
Just stay put. I'll come find you.
I guess I'll just stay put, and you can find me.
(GROANS)
SYLVIA: Wet, dark.
warm...
Bingo.
Hang on, Wander. I'm coming for ya.
(MONSTER ROARING)
Oh, grop! All right, hat.
It's just you and me now. No more playing around.
This is a matter of life and death.
(MONSTER ROARS)
I don't need anything fancy,
so how 'bout you just go ahead and give me one of those little balls, okay?
(MONSTER ROARS)
Let's do this!
(ROARS)
Ah!
(MONSTER ROARING)
What? Put that back there. Are you trying to get me eaten?
(EXHALES DEEPLY) Okay. Maybe I wasn't making myself clear.
We need to save Wander.
So we need to go there,
without attracting attention of the giant Zbornak-eating monster.
Understand?
Good. Okay.
Here we go.
(SIREN BLARING)
(SYLVIA SCREAMING)
What is wrong with you?
Now, you listen here, hat.
I want something to fly up there! And you're gonna give it to me! Capisce?
A jetpack! Yes!
Thank you.
Engage thruster!
Oh, grop.
(SYLVIA SCREAMING)
-(JAWS CREAKING) -(SYLVIA STRAINING)
WANDER: (OVER CAN PHONE) Ring, ring, ring.
Hey, Sylvia. It's me, Wander. When do you think you might get here?
No big rush. But just a heads up.
The water is now up to my... (GURGLING)
What?
(SYLVIA YELLING)
(GRUNTS)
You! I'm giving you one last chance, you empty brain bag.
Oh, so that's how you're going to be, huh?
Well, fine. Fine.
I'll do it myself.
(MONSTER ROARING)
Hey, you no-neck havin', halitosis-blowin' dentistry-needing maggot!
Come and get me!
(MONSTER ROARS)
♪ Ride, Sylvia, ride ♪
(SYLVIA LAUGHING)
♪ Ride, Sylvia, ride ♪
♪ Now dive, Sylvia, dive ♪
In your face, hat.
WANDER: Ring, ring, ring.
Oh, hey, Sylvia. I'll always love... (GURGLING)
I'm almost there, Wander.
Hyah!
Wander.
Wander?
-(MONSTER ROARING) -(SCREAMING)
What do I do now?
How am I supposed to save Wander when all I have is this lousy,
backstabbing, unhelpful, uncooperative hat
that doesn't give you what you want, and only gives you what you need?
(SYLVIA GASPS)
Doesn't give you what you want. It only gives you what you need.
(CHUCKLES) Look, I know we've had our problems.
You hate me, and Grop knows I hate you.
But this is Wander we're talking about.
He's our friend, and I will do whatever it takes to help him.
So do your thing and give me what I need to save Wander.
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
Roller skates? (SCREAMS) Why you...
No. Okay. All right. That's cool. That's cool.
I could work with roller skates.
Okay, I'm ready.
Any time now.
Any time. Any...
(MONSTER ROARING)
(SYLVIA SCREAMING) I hate you, hat!
(SYLVIA SCREAMING)
I'm gonna tear you brim from brim.
Wander.
(WANDER GASPS)
-Hi, Sylvia. -You're alive.
You're alive! So that means you and the worm and the falling into the...
And the hat. The hat... Muah!
Was giving me exactly what I needed to find you.
Oh, I love this hat!
I know, right?
Now to get on out of here.
Please, allow me.
Slarnack's Delli's Jellyfish Pie?
What the...
(GAGS)
(GASPS)
(GROWLS)
(COUGHING)
(RETCHING)
(SYLVIA AND WANDER) Whoa!
Look, Sylvia. We made it!
Slarnack's Deli!
I hate that hat.
(RETCHING)
(PANTING)
(RETCHING)
(PANTING)
(VOMITING)