Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, it's "The Eric Andre Show"!
[ Screaming ]
♪♪
Aah! Aah! Aaaaaah!
Aah! Oh!
[ Straining ]
[ Screaming ]
Ugh!
♪♪
Aah! [ Gunfire ]
[Bleep]
[ Explosion ]
[ Slow motion screaming ]
[ Explosion ]
[ Ringing, slow motion screaming continues ]
♪♪
Aah!
Who-o-o-a!
[ Screaming ]
♪♪
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Thudding ]
♪♪
Oh, God.
Sweet blessings to you, my divine chocolate prince.
[ Harp plays ]
Dah!
Monologue, monologue, monologue, monologue, monologue.
-Hey! -Hannibal.
-What? -Chime in.
Well, to what? There's no flow.
What's going on behind those glasses?
Let me see those little [bleep] peepers.
Huh?
Oh, that's it. You got the river blindness.
Like an old blues player.
-This is just from my creativity. -Bullshit.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Five.
♪♪
You want to go see the baseball game later?
Sure.
Love you, Pops.
I love you, too, son.
Hi. Sorry to bother you.
Do you mind watching my dad just for two seconds?
I just have to use the restroom real quick.
-Okay, hurry up. -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
Oh!
-Aah! Aah! -Aah!
Aah!
Oh!
Ow! Ow!
[ Gasps ] What happened? What happened?
-She pushed me! -Oh, no. -No.
I trusted you.
What -- what is going on here?
Dude, I'll never trust anyone again...
except for Lexivan.
Ohh! It hurts!
You know, when your dad falls down a flight of stairs,
whether someone pushed him or not, Lexivan will help.
[Bleep] Ohh!
They're the only pill that are actually lemon- and lime-flavored.
If you're stressed, take one.
What's the worst that could happen?
Lexivan -- What's the worst that can happen?
♪ Killin' it, killin' it ♪
[ Plink! ]
Ladies and gentlemen, rap superstar Saweetie!
♪ I am just a girl who's gotta see the world ♪
♪ Is what that got me ♪
♪ Now don't you try to stop me ♪
♪ I'm gonna reach the sky ♪
I like your table.
Thank you.
[ Applause ]
Can I call you Sawwy? -Sawwy?
Yeah, like, "I'm Sawwy."
Okay, okay.
Are you on psychedelics?
[ Audience cheers, applauds ]
-No. -Prove it.
[ Belches ]
Whoa! -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
[ Laughing ] That chair is [bleep] cool.
Saweetie: Whew!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Whoa!
I still got it, after all these years.
[ Clattering, glass breaks ]
[ Chanting ] Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric!
All: [ Chanting ] Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric!
Whoo.
What's going on here, guys?
Oh, I have, like, a lowrider kind of desk.
-I quit. -What?
-Peace. -Bye.
There's a nose hair over there.
Just clone me. I'm out.
♪♪
Clone me. Clone me.
Clone me. Clone me. Clone me.
♪♪
Yes. Yes! He's even better than Hannibal.
He's Blannibal.
Blannibal.
I don't... register what you just did.
♪♪
[ Laughs ] I got -- I got a couple of video games on there.
The flip phone, I was noticing on there,
it looks like, if you text, you've got to do --
if you want "C," you got to click it three times.
Anybody using a -- Oh, my God.
Oh!
Oh! Ah! Ow!
Oh, my God! -What the hell happened?
-Are you okay? -[ Winces ] Ah!
Do you believe in God?
You know, that stinks, but I'll tell you what doesn't stink.
[ Winces, farts ]
You've been on "Fart 'Splosion" this entire time.
[ Laughs, claps hands ]
You should've seen the look on your face.
[ People cheering ]
♪♪
Here's $5. Here's $5.
-Really, we got surprised. -And then he farted?
Then he farted, and he broke another window, yeah.
♪ To all the troops in the USA ♪
♪ "Fart 'Splosion" ♪
♪ We're getting on down ♪
When the second window broke,
I honestly thought, you know, we might be in --
we might be in harm's way. -Right, right.
I mean, this was very concerning.
When you're on "Fart 'Splosion," you make money,
and we all farted before you guys got here.
[ Farts ]
[ Applause ]
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Oh ♪
[ Applause ]
Aw, nice weather we're having, Blannibal, right?
[ Grunts ]
You know her from "Shameless." Please welcome...
♪♪
Ooh, nice.
Oh. Mwah, mwah. -Mwah, mwah.
Yeah, it's gone. -Yeah. Thank you.
Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?
I'm okay. Thank you.
Yeah, I'll do a coffee. Yeah, yeah, thank you.
-That's really nice. -Yeah, yeah, thanks so much.
-What's his name? -I don't know.
-How do you not know the people -- -Here he is.
-I'm Paul. Here you go. -His name's Paul.
-What the hell? -How you doing?
He got that shit fast. Thank you so much.
Thank you for the water. I actually did want it.
Who's this? -That's Blannibal.
Hannibal quit the show, so I had to clone him.
Hi, Blannibal.
-[ Grunts ] -How are you?
[ Siren wails ]
♪♪
Yo! What's up?!
What stinks in here?
Hi.
Blannibal, you're so funny, Bla-- Blannibal.
[ Laughter ]
Well, you're known for -- you're known for dropping pretty big deuces on set.
You're known as the set coil dropper. -That is not true.
You know, I'm actually a germophobe, and I --
Oh, what's --
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
What is happening?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! -Bravo!
Hey!
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Mazel tov! Hey, hey.
Alright, mazel.
Those are some handsome Jews.
Those were some good-looking Jews!
This was the best interview ever, right?
Oh, shit! -Oh!
[ Clattering, cat yowls ]
♪♪
Hi, guys. I'm with this company.
It's a new airline called Asian Southeast Air.
Would you be willing to sign up to -- to your e-mail?
-Sure. -Ooh!
Holy [bleep] That guy just crawled out of the water.
-He was in the water? -Ow.
Help me. Help me. -They're calling help.
Don't move any further. Just stay there, okay?
-Are you Angel? Is that your name? -Yeah, that is my name, yeah.
I'm working a promo thing. -Yeah, me, too.
Working a promo thing with Asian Southeast Air?
I was a week ago.
But you weren't working right now, were you?
-No, I was in a plane. -You were in a plane?
They said if I sold 20 credit cards,
they were gonna fly me to Hawaii.
I had, like, all the legroom in the world,
I was eating peanuts, and the pilot came out,
and he said I lied, he said I fudged the numbers.
[ Crying ] And the guy pushed me out of the --
He pushed me out of the...
[ Screaming ]
[ Water splashes ]
I wouldn't t-- I wouldn't trust --
I wouldn't trust those people you're working for.
I was you a week ago. -Okay.
There's no medical person around here?
Angel, you saved my life.
Okay, sit still.
-They tried to kill me. -Sit down.
I still have the -- I still have these peanuts.
[ Crunches ]
You fell in the water. Why are you eating that?
-They cleaned up the East River. Do you want some Lexivan? -No.
It's the only psychoactive drug that's lemon-lime flavor.
Someone pushed you out the plane, you said?
Yeah, I got pushed out of the plane.
Lexivan -- now in lemon-lime flavor.
Ladies and gentleman, "Rapper Warrior Ninja."
[ Air horn blows ]
Alright, Jasper, do the dizzy bat, but keep rapping.
[ Rapping ] ♪ I came here with some jeans on, but I had to take them off ♪
Chow down on these hot peppers.
[ Cheering, whistling ]
-Aah! -Wait. You got to start rapping.
♪ Brand-new whip, came with some brand-new jeans ♪
♪ I came into this game to try to win with ease ♪
-Keep rapping. -♪ I don't even [bleep] rap ♪
♪ I'm a hype man and an actor ♪
♪ I don't know how to rap, I'm not even a rapper ♪
Dance! -Ow! What the?
What the? -Dance! Dance!
♪♪
Aah!
-[ Shouting ] -Come on! Nigga, cut!
-Is it spicy? -It's so hot.
Where do I got to go? Oh! Oh, my God!
[ Air horn blows ]
Aah!
Grab the money. Yeah!
-Ahh! -Taco killing it.
Play that beat. Use this microphone.
New microphone for you.
-What the [bleep] -New microphone.
Where the [bleep] am I going?
[ Laughter ]
Yes, a new challenge.
[ Rapping ] ♪ Pop off just like a rocket ♪
♪ I got money, I got it ♪
♪ You know I got it in the... ♪
Oh!
♪ This nigga really just shocked me ♪
♪ Hold up, I'm going to the -- ♪
Oh!
[ Slow motion ] Oh!
[ Imitates air horn ]
Oh, shit, the celebrity guest judge Danny Brown!
Talib Kweli! Talib Kweli!
He just got here!
[ Electricity crackles ] Ow!
[ Air horn blows ]
It's terrible.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Abso Lutely.
-Someone pushed you out the plane? -Yeah, I got pushed
out of the plane.