1 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,731 You're not Great, are you? 2 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,586 What? Peter the Great, not you. 3 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,922 No, that's my father. 4 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,405 I'm Peter the... 5 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,218 Could we be silent? 6 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:36,054 I'm trying to concentrate, and it's already hard enough when there's a bee. 7 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,973 I was once stung in the eye and it really hurt, so I find them quite unnerving. 8 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,666 - Of course. - Thank you. 9 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,745 - Empress. - Emperor. 10 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,542 Marial! A bath. 11 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,051 - Huzzah! - Fuck off. I'm in a mood. 12 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,761 Oh, let me guess. A bad mood? 13 00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,472 - To repeat myself, fuck off. - Charming. 14 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,891 You are the emperor of Russia, 15 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,227 lord of all you survey. 16 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,646 That's true. So... 17 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,314 don't be so fucking mournful. 18 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,109 Oh, you're right. She cannot make me mournful. 19 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,945 So I say again, huzzah. 20 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,655 Huzzah. Thank you, my friend. 21 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,438 Hmm. 22 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,834 Ah! 23 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,237 Oh! No! 24 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,783 Louder! 25 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,745 Louder! Sing louder, you fuckers! 26 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:34,029 Yeah. 27 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:38,051 Exactly. That's exactly my point. 28 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,771 I've been thinking. 29 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:52,941 We must begin the planning, sooner rather than later. 30 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,442 That bad, huh? 31 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:57,362 Mm, more dull than horrific. 32 00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:00,639 But Russia must be saved, and I with it. 33 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,225 How, is the question. 34 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:07,372 I've never done a coup before, so I'm unsure how to proceed. 35 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,416 Well, I would suggest, next time he is rutting on you, 36 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:15,296 take a knife, plunge it into his neck, and face. 37 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,258 - You're all hot blood, aren't you? - Thank you. 38 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,051 You just need someone who will kill him. 39 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:23,471 - Why would they do that? - Because they hate him. 40 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,765 And yet that has not been enough to make it happen. 41 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,351 - True. - They need a reason for it. 42 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,354 Besides, I do not seek to kill for hatred, 43 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,731 but to create a greater Russia, 44 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,609 a progressive and humane place. 45 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:40,238 Oh, okay... Right. 46 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,240 That's good. 47 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:45,368 We need a philosophical backbone that people can gather behind, 48 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,662 believe in. 49 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,290 I will need help to develop that. 50 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:54,669 For while I am brilliant, it must be tested and impregnable. 51 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:58,339 Orlo is the man to help me. 52 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,550 - What? Are you mad? - I am brilliant, 53 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,052 which has often been misconstrued as mad. 54 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,472 - Orlo is one of Peter's inner circle. - Not in his heart. 55 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:10,852 For when he speaks of Descartes, he lit from within. 56 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,812 That is the truth of him. 57 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:17,358 He is a player who has survived ten years, that is not easy. 58 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,611 He is a bumbler with women, but not with politics. 59 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:22,780 So? He is a savvy to boot, bonus for us. 60 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,474 Let us go find him. My robe? 61 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,959 Empress, it is a dangerous game, do you realize? 62 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,568 Of course I do. 63 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,256 How so? 64 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,009 If Peter were to discover you plotting, 65 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,386 you would be good as dead. 66 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,247 I am as good as dead here, 67 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,142 so I have nothing to lose. 68 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,686 Forty-one, Count Smolny. 69 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,443 A small thing, Emperor. 70 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,695 I would like the take the land of my recently widowed 71 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,322 sister-in-law and nephews. 72 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,282 Oh, that's sad. How did Orlovsky die? 73 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,392 A sword was found in his back, 74 00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:11,788 though it's unclear how it got there. 75 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,457 - Hmm. - I agree with Count Smolny, 76 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:18,628 and perhaps some of the lands he takes could be tithed to the church... 77 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,339 a small percentage, say, 15, 78 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,842 laid before our Lord God's feet. 79 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:26,010 So much is laid at the church's feet, 80 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,471 I sometimes fear they cannot see the congregation 81 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,890 for the dazzling riches they stack before them. 82 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:33,059 Funny, Orlo. You greedy fuck, Archie! 83 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,770 And if we allow this, swords might start appearing 84 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,689 in brothers' backs all over Russia, 85 00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:40,441 causing great tension at family gatherings and parties. 86 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,735 Good one, Orlo. Let's not ruin the parties. 87 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,845 Emperor. 88 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,533 This is so dull. 89 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,078 Velementov, do a funny little dance to amuse me. 90 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,289 Sir, I am... 91 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,583 leader of the armed forces. 92 00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,918 - I do not do a funny little... - Arkady? 93 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,920 Stab Velementov in the face. 94 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,516 Uh, uh, 42... 95 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,627 uh, Count Rostov. 96 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,005 Rostov? 97 00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:23,985 I bring you the peaches you love, Emperor, 98 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,529 and the love of the people of my region. 99 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,740 What the fuck, Rostov? 100 00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:31,201 Why do you still wear a beard? 101 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,995 It is why I come before you today. 102 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,581 I would like special dispensation to wear one. 103 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:38,445 And I would like a bird that shits chocolate. 104 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:42,212 Gentlemen, I said I would like a bird that shits chocolate. 105 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,300 Orlo, explain my fucking edict while I eat this peach. 106 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:50,970 Dispensation on beards is for the guards and the priests only. 107 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:54,057 Fuck me, that's a good peach. It's fragrant, sweet. 108 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,017 There's a slight lemon to that. 109 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,894 Jesus, Rostov. Look at you. 110 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,813 I am a modern ruler, 111 00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:03,340 making things happen in a modern, European way. No beards. 112 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:08,029 Sir... I beg you. 113 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,305 Well, you are not on your knees, so you don't. 114 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,812 Get up, fuck off, and come back with a shaved face. 115 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,000 We should, uh, hear Rostov out. 116 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:25,213 It is the custom that aristocrats make requests of their emperor. 117 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,674 Oh, I agree. For I would love to know 118 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,635 why a man comes before you with a beard that says, "Fuck you." 119 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,512 Is that what your beard says, Rostov? 120 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,597 Uh, Grigor, I do not believe he is saying that. 121 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,748 - Metaphorically. What else? - No! 122 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:41,420 My wife has never seen my face... 123 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,859 and it is unfortunate. 124 00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:48,260 Unfortunate how? 125 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:53,098 It is a mix of boils and pustules, 126 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,684 scarring. 127 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,813 I fear she will not... 128 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:04,711 want me, not be happy with me. 129 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:08,214 So your wife will not be happy, but I will, and that's all that matters. 130 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,925 A man's wife's happiness should not be so fucking important. 131 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,993 Shave it off and return to me tomorrow. 132 00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:17,724 Rostov. 133 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,267 Orlo. 134 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,812 Taxes may be slow for my region this month. 135 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,148 And every peach will be bruised. 136 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:28,151 Our family hold the region together. 137 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,278 I thought he'd have some compassion. 138 00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,346 Delusional optimism, Rostov. 139 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,575 But I believe we can win this. 140 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:38,077 - How? - Peter is often swayed 141 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,622 if the whole group is against something. 142 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:44,149 Let me gather numbers, and then tomorrow, we will bring you to him. 143 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,625 Hmm. 144 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,937 I cannot see him. 145 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:06,231 Empress, you look radiant. 146 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,899 We would love for you to join us. 147 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:10,109 We have cakes in the shape of woodland animals, 148 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:13,822 and it is a lark to dunk their faces in vodka and eat them. 149 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:17,909 It sounds interminable, Lady Svenska, so I shall pass. 150 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,060 If you would move... 151 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:31,673 Well, I will be the first to say what we are all thinking. 152 00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:34,884 She is a bitch, who sides with a serf. 153 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,262 - Who's stuck up and rude. - She is a great disappointment. 154 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:41,182 She is new, and we must try harder. 155 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:44,644 For we must make her happy to make the emperor happy. 156 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:48,106 I thought you take care of his happiness, Madam Dymov. 157 00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:54,612 Grigor, a moment. 158 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,365 I'm leaving, Orlo. But Count, Count Rostov's beard. 159 00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,869 I want him to keep it. It's a question of free will. 160 00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:02,412 You can help me convince Peter. 161 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:05,748 I can't help you, Orlo. We live at the emperor's whim. 162 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:09,377 People should accept that. Shut the fuck up, and have a drink. 163 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,922 I thought if anyone would like the idea of free will taking hold, 164 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,549 it would be you. 165 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:16,408 And Madam Dymov. 166 00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:19,053 I shall refrain from punching you in the face 167 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,097 for the next 12 seconds. 168 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,790 - You should walk on. - You know... 169 00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:30,523 Fabulous party, isn't it? 170 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,942 It is a happy court, it seems. 171 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,511 All is bliss in the court of Peter. 172 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:39,115 Do I detect a slight jest in your voice? 173 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,059 I ate a radish. It can affect the vocal cords. 174 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,371 Empress. 175 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,540 Darling. Are you drunk yet? 176 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,418 Um, not yet, despite strenuous efforts. 177 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:53,779 In fact, I thought I might retire to our apartment. 178 00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,949 Then I go with you. 179 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,703 Orlo. 180 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:06,935 I have a pamphlet by Voltaire, I would love to share with you. 181 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:09,169 Mm. Thank you. 182 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,191 I am learning much of the kingdom, dear Orlo. 183 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:16,778 It has come to my attention the emperor is not Peter the Great. 184 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,989 That was his father, a great man. 185 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,642 What is this Peter's flourish? He does not have one. 186 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,662 Hmm. 187 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,705 Peter the... 188 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,982 Not Quite Adequate? 189 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:33,628 I think you already thought of this jest. 190 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,904 I don't know what you mean. 191 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,834 I am sure. Set a meet. 192 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:54,965 Here we are. 193 00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,524 Velementov. 194 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:37,734 Velementov. 195 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:40,928 Oh. Orlo. 196 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:45,825 Oh, God. Oh, God, my fucking head. 197 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:48,703 You all right? You look even more nervy than usual. 198 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,956 I'm fine. I must talk of Rostov. Mm. 199 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,250 We must work on Peter to keep his beard. 200 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,002 What the fuck do I care about his beard? 201 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:59,130 Men are dying in the field. 202 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,925 A beard is not my concern. Huh? 203 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,344 The day is unstable for lack of... 204 00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:10,892 Ah, yes. I remember now. 205 00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,501 I'm drunk, yes. 206 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,648 No beards was always a stupid idea. 207 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:19,359 And might I remind you, it was your idea. 208 00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,069 It is stupid. 209 00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:24,239 But it is a modern European court idea and Peter allowed it, 210 00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:27,700 which allows us to present more modern European ideas, 211 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,452 and perhaps one day, a meaningful one. 212 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,271 Always playing the long game, Orlo. 213 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:37,168 I, however, have some short-term debts 214 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,337 the treasury might see to. 215 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,548 You've said no before, but, uh, 216 00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:44,801 perhaps your beard is important to you. 217 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,261 Prick. 218 00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:48,203 I know a "yes" when I hear one. 219 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:59,023 Oh, no! No, my darlings, no! 220 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,358 - Hello. - Oh! 221 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:01,401 Problem? 222 00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:04,487 - I'm training them. - The butterflies? 223 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:08,658 What if I could get them to align, and fly in forms of my own choosing? 224 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:11,119 How wonderful that would be. 225 00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:13,163 And how is that working out? 226 00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,290 I admire their willfulness. 227 00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:16,499 Quite. 228 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,586 Now you, my dearest nephew. 229 00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:23,006 I was noticing the unhappy nature of your bride. 230 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,091 Dark clouds have covered the sun. 231 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,427 Well, fuck her. She has everything. 232 00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:30,054 She is unhappy. It is spoken of at court. 233 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,515 Unhappiness in a court can be contagious. 234 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,601 You must clear the clouds. 235 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,811 She must clear the fucking clouds. 236 00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,730 I'm the emperor. 237 00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:42,525 As you know, my taste in love runs wild and free, 238 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:46,654 but I know I cannot make a heart sing just because I am the emperor's family. 239 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:50,074 That does not get a man hard or a woman wet. 240 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,118 You must capture their heart. 241 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:55,246 It is her job to make me happy. 242 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,040 She does not love me. 243 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,942 Everyone else does, so the fault lies with her. 244 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,838 Your mother once confided in me 245 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:06,865 that she saw something within you that made her heart curdle. 246 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,261 - What? - She insisted that there was 247 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:13,473 something quite... rancid about you. 248 00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:16,309 What is the point of this conversation? 249 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,436 Oh, I wonder whether Catherine has seen the same thing, 250 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,420 and it is stopping her from loving you. 251 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,569 I punched her. 252 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:29,739 Oh. Some enjoy that, 253 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,908 but perhaps she does not. 254 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:35,018 Regardless, you must do something about it. 255 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,814 Oh, hello. 256 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,517 What are they? 257 00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:58,893 Just some notes. 258 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:01,604 This is on the basic principles for the new government: 259 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,314 Some ideals, 260 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:06,049 the question of citizens' rights we must discuss. 261 00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:09,654 I must excite his mind to the possibilities 262 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,197 that we can build together. 263 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:14,117 And then you'll fuck him, right? 264 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,726 What? 265 00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:19,247 He needs to be cunt-struck by you. 266 00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:20,623 You must fuck him, 267 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:24,568 and then he will set his face on fire if you ask it. 268 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,197 - Seduce him. - Seduce him? 269 00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:32,993 I have never done that. 270 00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:40,518 It's easy. You just lie back. 271 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:43,337 Expose some flesh, be suggestive, but not explicit. 272 00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:48,318 Go on. Touch him casually about his person, 273 00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:49,903 and be loose. 274 00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:52,489 Maybe a breast falls from your blouse. 275 00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:54,515 And then he will be on you. 276 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,266 On me. 277 00:16:56,975 --> 00:17:00,413 Okay. And then after he has done you, 278 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,458 profess love, union, stars in alignment, 279 00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:06,169 fate, philosophy, shed some tears of unhappiness, 280 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:09,380 and then talk knives in necks. 281 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,865 And eat an oyster. Helps your mood. 282 00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:31,885 Enter. 283 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,697 Dear Orlo. 284 00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,451 Thank you for coming. 285 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,161 It is my pleasure. 286 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,688 I have the Voltaire pamphlet. 287 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:48,110 Giving me gifts, alone, in a secluded cottage. 288 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,506 It is completely inappropriate, you know. 289 00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,049 Shit. Sorry. 290 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:57,303 Um, should, should we go to the, um, uh, library or the, the garden? 291 00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:59,872 It is thrilling to break the rules, is it not? 292 00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:05,353 I can't wait to confess and see Archie's face. 293 00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:08,398 He put his fingers inside me. 294 00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:13,153 Oh. Okay, um, that's not good, is it? 295 00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:15,071 Sorry. 296 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,907 Let's not... I don't... 297 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,659 That's not why we're here. 298 00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:26,023 - You have caught my eye. - Oh. Thank you. I am flattered. 299 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,294 Shall we read? 300 00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:31,653 Is that what you want to do? 301 00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:35,425 Are you okay? You, you seem... 302 00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:37,051 - something. - Do I? 303 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:38,720 Yes. 304 00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:40,204 Does it stir you? 305 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,016 - Um... - Champagne? 306 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,269 I, I, I don't drink. I, I don't need anything. 307 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:49,564 But is there anything you want? 308 00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:52,066 I'm fine. 309 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,384 Come and get it. 310 00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,407 Oh, my God. You are trying to seduce me. 311 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,773 Oh. 312 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,627 You had the oysters. 313 00:19:10,651 --> 00:19:14,464 I'm, I'm always reluctant. They travel them some distance. 314 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,051 I'm a failure. 315 00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:21,745 No. No, you're not. I, I, I would, of course, have sex. 316 00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:27,143 Um, I'm not... Yes, uh, should we read first? 317 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,853 I'm not used to, um... 318 00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:31,481 I feel a bit breathless, actually. Might sit. 319 00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:33,691 I actually feel very unwell. 320 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:37,821 Empress, I am not well-versed with women. 321 00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,155 Um... 322 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:42,432 I have in some way ruined things. I apologize. Sorry. 323 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,438 Orlo! Don't go! 324 00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:50,959 I will say it plain. 325 00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:52,961 I was hoping you'd be mad with desire for me, 326 00:19:52,985 --> 00:19:54,921 and then you'd help me inspire an army to kill Peter. 327 00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,297 What? 328 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:59,425 You wouldn't, would you? Kill him with me? 329 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,911 - A coup? - Don't say anything else. 330 00:20:04,997 --> 00:20:07,225 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 331 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,727 Oh, Fuck, fuck... fuck! 332 00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:17,569 I failed. 333 00:20:17,593 --> 00:20:19,654 I was not good at seducing, 334 00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:22,448 and he was not good at understanding that he was being seduced. 335 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:25,410 And then when I just asked him straight out if he would kill Peter, 336 00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:26,828 he said, "fuck" and ran away. 337 00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:29,247 - When you what? - I do not wish to apportion blame, 338 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:31,958 but I believe your seduction plan was ill-advised. 339 00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,918 You told him of the coup? 340 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:37,422 I did. That also may have been ill-advised. 341 00:20:37,446 --> 00:20:40,091 Shit. It is bad. 342 00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:41,634 I'm sure he will not tell him. 343 00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:42,886 He is good at heart. 344 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:45,054 He has survived at court ten years. 345 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,039 It takes dark skills. 346 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,792 Loyalty is rewarded here. He could tell Peter. 347 00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:54,022 Then I must win him over before he does. 348 00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:56,983 I will go to him and try again. 349 00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:59,593 The emperor requests the empress's presence. 350 00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:09,228 How is the emperor's mood this morning? 351 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,130 Ah. Here you are. 352 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:22,467 Taste this bacon. They are fed only on acorns and honey. 353 00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:23,992 It is amazing. 354 00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:30,850 Mm. Yes. Delicious. 355 00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,519 We concur. We agree. 356 00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:35,045 We share a love of bacon. Huzzah. 357 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,299 Sit. 358 00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:45,806 As requested. 359 00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,208 You probably don't remember this, 360 00:21:55,232 --> 00:21:57,693 but a week or two ago, I shot your bear and punched you. 361 00:21:58,318 --> 00:22:01,256 Perhaps it has cast a pall between us. 362 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,550 The fact you shot my bear and punched me? 363 00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:07,428 Yes. I think I was angry because no one has ever not liked me. 364 00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:08,888 Or at least, they're pretending to. 365 00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:10,747 Hmm. Toosh. 366 00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:13,810 - What? - Toosh. 367 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,562 Do you mean touché? 368 00:22:15,586 --> 00:22:18,231 - What, is it not toosh? - No. Touché. 369 00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:20,650 See. That's great. How smart you are. 370 00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:23,319 Point is, it's a new day, a time to put things behind us. 371 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,572 Teething problems, I believe they call it. 372 00:22:25,596 --> 00:22:27,240 Are you apologizing to me? 373 00:22:27,264 --> 00:22:29,701 I'm looking forward, not dwelling. 374 00:22:29,725 --> 00:22:32,477 It is hell to dwell. 375 00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:35,248 It is a saying I just made up. 376 00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:37,292 So you wish to forget it? 377 00:22:37,316 --> 00:22:40,444 Regret it and forget it. Another saying. 378 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,339 Look, here's what I think's happened. 379 00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:46,259 You've come in here with a very romantic notion of me, 380 00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:47,635 and marriage, and your life. 381 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,804 A little naive, I guess. Not a criticism. 382 00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:51,639 It's actually a lovely attribute. 383 00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:55,560 You met me, and I'm not a romantic man, more a practical chap. 384 00:22:55,584 --> 00:22:58,730 And I like to have fun, larks and jokes and weird sex. 385 00:22:58,754 --> 00:23:02,424 Point is, we're married, but we don't do it for each other. 386 00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:05,195 We finally agree. 387 00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:09,199 Huzzah. Yes, accepting that truth might be liberating for us. 388 00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:12,327 You're really a drag around court. I want you to find happiness here. 389 00:23:12,351 --> 00:23:13,912 Hence, strawberries. 390 00:23:13,936 --> 00:23:16,247 Also, a new bear, to replace the one I shot. 391 00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:19,083 Live as empress and enjoy it. 392 00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:22,128 - We should also find you a lover. - I should take a lover? 393 00:23:22,152 --> 00:23:23,505 Yes, we should reach an agreement, 394 00:23:23,529 --> 00:23:25,089 because what's the alternative? 395 00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:28,510 You remain unhappy, I become more and more angry, and then I kill you. 396 00:23:28,534 --> 00:23:31,119 I don't want to kill you. You're not a bad person. 397 00:23:32,037 --> 00:23:35,499 I could kill you. You are a bad person. 398 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:42,982 See? I like you. You're funny, in a droll, despairing sort of way. 399 00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:45,592 I couldn't take a lot of it, but occasionally, it's refreshing. 400 00:23:46,385 --> 00:23:47,779 Now, would it be so bad? 401 00:23:47,803 --> 00:23:49,280 We have enough in common to get on. 402 00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:51,449 We do? Like what? 403 00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:53,701 Well, we're both... 404 00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:55,060 pretty. 405 00:23:57,604 --> 00:24:01,042 Now, I never imagined myself as the guy who punches his wife. 406 00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:02,710 And yet you are. 407 00:24:02,734 --> 00:24:04,379 Is that your mother's necklace? 408 00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:05,964 Yes. 409 00:24:05,988 --> 00:24:08,508 I wear it sometimes to feel close. 410 00:24:08,532 --> 00:24:09,801 Did your father punch her? 411 00:24:09,825 --> 00:24:12,095 I have said regrets and new day things. 412 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,305 You must cheer up and look forward to the future. 413 00:24:14,329 --> 00:24:17,642 I do, very much look forward to the future. 414 00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:20,043 Oh. That's great. 415 00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:23,731 For I gather, you will not punch me again. 416 00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:25,567 I won't. 417 00:24:25,591 --> 00:24:27,360 - We are agreed? - Oh. 418 00:24:27,384 --> 00:24:29,219 That one is rancid. 419 00:24:30,220 --> 00:24:32,181 As is your whole idea. 420 00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:53,202 You're still strong. 421 00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:57,331 We all are if we know where to find it. 422 00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:01,936 Oh, your heart is pounding. 423 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,146 I've been fighting. 424 00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:05,148 Your joy in pain is disturbing. 425 00:25:05,172 --> 00:25:07,484 We must all know our darkness, 426 00:25:07,508 --> 00:25:10,695 for how else do we know where to shine the light? 427 00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:12,614 So profound, cousin. 428 00:25:12,638 --> 00:25:15,241 Occupational hazard. It's like a reflex now. 429 00:25:15,265 --> 00:25:16,826 You want some breakfast? 430 00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:18,620 Oh, God, yes. 431 00:25:18,644 --> 00:25:21,021 The shit I get served downstairs. 432 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:25,543 Um, I have a concern I wish your help with. 433 00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,504 Anything. 434 00:25:27,528 --> 00:25:28,963 The empress. 435 00:25:28,987 --> 00:25:32,342 I'm worried something she said to Orlo could be taken the wrong way. 436 00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:34,469 What did she say? 437 00:25:34,493 --> 00:25:38,223 She expressed some unhappiness with the emperor. 438 00:25:38,247 --> 00:25:42,125 Orlo may exaggerate the situation to enlarge himself at court. 439 00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:46,606 Be to your detriment if he did, as you're the author of her presence. 440 00:25:46,630 --> 00:25:50,068 I had a vision from God. I do not resile from it. 441 00:25:50,092 --> 00:25:52,594 In Catherine's defense, perhaps Orlo tried to rape her. 442 00:25:58,767 --> 00:26:00,119 To rape her? 443 00:26:00,143 --> 00:26:04,249 He is a man who famously lacks the skills to see his desires met. 444 00:26:04,273 --> 00:26:06,525 Fuck a man up. Don't you agree? 445 00:26:07,651 --> 00:26:10,654 If you need a defense, that could be one, that's all I'm saying. 446 00:26:12,406 --> 00:26:14,133 I will deal with it. 447 00:26:14,157 --> 00:26:15,885 Thank you. 448 00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:17,369 Aah! 449 00:26:17,828 --> 00:26:19,580 My gift. 450 00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:26,420 Orlo! 451 00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:36,906 No, please. Please do not speak to me. I beg you. 452 00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:38,366 Help me with the coup. 453 00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:42,203 - Oh, my God, you cannot say that word. - Why? It's just a word. 454 00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:44,605 But it does excite the mind, does it not? 455 00:26:46,565 --> 00:26:48,459 Here's my plan. 456 00:26:48,483 --> 00:26:52,505 You and I will create a philosophy and plan for my regime, 457 00:26:52,529 --> 00:26:55,466 one that will inspire others to act 458 00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:57,635 and be a blueprint for my reign. 459 00:26:57,659 --> 00:26:59,762 - Your... - My reign. 460 00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:03,808 When we create a strong, vibrant Russia, 461 00:27:03,832 --> 00:27:08,771 alive with ideas, humane and progressive, 462 00:27:08,795 --> 00:27:12,508 and here people live with dignity and purpose. 463 00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:14,986 - In Russia? - Indeed. 464 00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:17,030 Huzzah. 465 00:27:17,054 --> 00:27:18,573 Do you want to die? 466 00:27:18,597 --> 00:27:21,659 I am indifferent. I certainly do not want to live like this. 467 00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:24,662 You'll get used to it, and I know it looks bad, 468 00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:26,539 but we make progress. 469 00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:29,959 At the moment, we have an issue over the free will of beard-wearing. 470 00:27:29,983 --> 00:27:31,711 - I feel if... - Beards? 471 00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:34,363 No. I have no time to waste and neither do the people. 472 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,823 Are you in? 473 00:27:37,658 --> 00:27:39,427 I cannot join for the simple reason 474 00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:42,722 you have already proved yourself incapable of executing it successfully. 475 00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:45,457 - How? - You chose me. 476 00:27:47,376 --> 00:27:49,336 - You are... - A civil servant. 477 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,922 - A coward. - I don't believe you. 478 00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:54,633 You are not a coward. 479 00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:57,386 I know you different. 480 00:27:58,554 --> 00:28:02,534 When we talk of ideas and humanity, 481 00:28:02,558 --> 00:28:05,102 I see a light ablaze in you. 482 00:28:07,229 --> 00:28:08,814 You don't know me at all. 483 00:28:09,898 --> 00:28:12,544 You married badly. I'm, I'm sorry you made a mistake. 484 00:28:12,568 --> 00:28:15,213 Don't drag me and Russia into it. 485 00:28:15,237 --> 00:28:18,842 Russia and I are married to the same man. It is the same thing. 486 00:28:18,866 --> 00:28:22,387 You are an angry, mad person, so you will forgive me if I say no. 487 00:28:22,411 --> 00:28:25,181 And you must promise me never to speak of this to anyone else. 488 00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:27,749 I beg you, for your own sake. 489 00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:31,437 And will you speak of it? 490 00:28:31,461 --> 00:28:33,148 Or will you take it to Peter? 491 00:28:33,172 --> 00:28:37,134 It is something I am forgetting as I walk away from you. Good day. 492 00:28:51,273 --> 00:28:54,544 As we hunt, we shall discuss whether or not to kill the empress. 493 00:28:54,568 --> 00:28:57,505 What? Sir, no, no. She is a, a radiant presence. 494 00:28:57,529 --> 00:28:59,757 She is shimmering, a godsend. 495 00:28:59,781 --> 00:29:02,760 She is a misery at court, made fun of the ladies' wig hats, 496 00:29:02,784 --> 00:29:05,972 and is a strange creature who I sense is, at times, laughing at me. 497 00:29:05,996 --> 00:29:08,183 I was thinking a small carriage accident, 498 00:29:08,207 --> 00:29:11,269 a suitable period of mourning, and onward to a new choice. 499 00:29:11,293 --> 00:29:12,562 Archie, you will not be involved, 500 00:29:12,586 --> 00:29:14,856 as you were abysmally fucking wrong, and tell that to God. 501 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,358 Emperor, she's going through some transition. 502 00:29:17,382 --> 00:29:18,943 We should help her with compassionate... 503 00:29:18,967 --> 00:29:21,404 Shut the fuck up. Orlo, thoughts. 504 00:29:21,428 --> 00:29:22,697 I think not, sir. 505 00:29:22,721 --> 00:29:25,283 It would look bad in Europe and be whispered at court. 506 00:29:25,307 --> 00:29:28,286 No one at court likes her, except apparently you disloyal fucks. 507 00:29:28,310 --> 00:29:30,955 Go, all of you. George and Grigor stay. 508 00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:36,211 Mother lit up when Father walked into a room. 509 00:29:36,235 --> 00:29:39,422 I could kill her and start again. Why is no one excited by this idea? 510 00:29:39,446 --> 00:29:40,465 Orlo's right. 511 00:29:40,489 --> 00:29:43,885 It would look like a failure in court, and in Europe... 512 00:29:43,909 --> 00:29:45,887 that you could not keep your woman happy. 513 00:29:45,911 --> 00:29:47,555 He is the emperor. 514 00:29:47,579 --> 00:29:50,892 You, of course, may kill her if you wish. She will be forgotten about in weeks. 515 00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:52,918 Finally, some loyalty. 516 00:29:59,341 --> 00:30:02,237 Between us, I thought her and I might be as you two, 517 00:30:02,261 --> 00:30:03,613 a perfect union. 518 00:30:03,637 --> 00:30:04,864 Perhaps she could be. 519 00:30:04,888 --> 00:30:06,449 Why give up now? 520 00:30:06,473 --> 00:30:10,578 She may be all you need, as George is to me. 521 00:30:10,602 --> 00:30:12,956 I suspect I will always need more, 522 00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:15,333 as I am a person who always needs more. 523 00:30:15,357 --> 00:30:18,920 It seems to me, all you really want is for her to be more cheerful in court 524 00:30:18,944 --> 00:30:21,464 and to bear you an heir, that is all you want from a wife. 525 00:30:21,488 --> 00:30:24,676 Yes. Yes, and she does not provide it. 526 00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:26,261 Grigor, 527 00:30:26,285 --> 00:30:28,787 you never told me how tricky this marriage business is. 528 00:30:29,580 --> 00:30:32,892 Until one is in it, one cannot imagine. 529 00:30:32,916 --> 00:30:34,168 Hmm. 530 00:30:34,751 --> 00:30:36,646 I sometimes feel that 531 00:30:36,670 --> 00:30:38,648 due to our political differences, 532 00:30:38,672 --> 00:30:42,652 I perhaps do not offer you the spiritual counsel that you need. 533 00:30:42,676 --> 00:30:44,320 This is my flaw. 534 00:30:44,344 --> 00:30:47,073 I am fine for counsel, but thank you. 535 00:30:47,097 --> 00:30:50,410 And if you're seeking flaws, I could also make a list of yours 536 00:30:50,434 --> 00:30:53,538 - if it would aid you. - How kind. 537 00:30:53,562 --> 00:30:56,541 I see you occasionally huddled with the empress 538 00:30:56,565 --> 00:30:58,585 and wonder if you're trying to butt-fuck her. 539 00:30:58,609 --> 00:31:00,170 Hmm. 540 00:31:00,194 --> 00:31:03,214 As flustered as a freshly raped novice, Orlo. 541 00:31:03,238 --> 00:31:05,216 No, I am not. 542 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,261 She is my friend in literature, that is all. 543 00:31:08,285 --> 00:31:12,015 Let us go back and ask the emperor, see what he makes of it. 544 00:31:12,039 --> 00:31:14,100 He seems in a forgiving mood. 545 00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:17,645 And perhaps remind him your vision brought her here. 546 00:31:17,669 --> 00:31:20,815 God is right in all things. 547 00:31:23,509 --> 00:31:25,778 But she is upsetting him, 548 00:31:25,802 --> 00:31:28,263 when I hoped being married would settle him. 549 00:31:29,681 --> 00:31:33,119 You and I are men of power, and I'm sure would like to remain so. 550 00:31:33,143 --> 00:31:35,455 We have that much in common. 551 00:31:35,479 --> 00:31:38,500 Do not take advantage of her unhappiness. 552 00:31:38,524 --> 00:31:39,942 I am not. 553 00:31:40,776 --> 00:31:43,630 You must offer her counsel, 554 00:31:43,654 --> 00:31:46,841 lead her to a safe path, for all of us. 555 00:31:46,865 --> 00:31:50,577 - So I believe you ask a favor? - Hmm. 556 00:31:51,161 --> 00:31:53,973 I've always said you're the smartest man in the kingdom. 557 00:31:53,997 --> 00:31:55,892 She is smarter than I hoped, 558 00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:59,395 but we will manage, and you will help me. 559 00:31:59,419 --> 00:32:02,190 You just have to try and control everyone, don't you? 560 00:32:02,214 --> 00:32:06,486 I must do God's will, and he often wants us all to not be as we are. 561 00:32:09,137 --> 00:32:12,224 And in exchange, you will help me with Rostov's beard. 562 00:32:16,854 --> 00:32:19,415 I thought perhaps he really wanted her dead. 563 00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:21,376 He lashes out if he feels alone. 564 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,444 Such insight. You know him so well. 565 00:32:25,028 --> 00:32:26,905 Do not scratch at me. 566 00:32:51,096 --> 00:32:53,741 I'm killing her, a carriage accident later in the week. 567 00:32:53,765 --> 00:32:56,435 You must decide how to make it work with Europe and the court. 568 00:32:58,145 --> 00:32:59,521 Shit. 569 00:33:22,586 --> 00:33:24,046 Hello? 570 00:33:30,969 --> 00:33:32,471 Come here. 571 00:33:33,722 --> 00:33:36,600 Oh. Wow. 572 00:33:41,897 --> 00:33:44,566 Look what those shits have done to my house. 573 00:33:58,497 --> 00:34:01,851 Trespassing. That is not yours anymore. 574 00:34:01,875 --> 00:34:05,146 - Guards. - You're really doing this then? 575 00:34:05,170 --> 00:34:07,232 It will help you adjust to your place. 576 00:34:07,256 --> 00:34:09,692 Think of it as an act of friendship. 577 00:34:09,716 --> 00:34:11,986 Let us make it worth it then! 578 00:34:30,946 --> 00:34:34,092 Yes. Yes. I knew you would see reason, Orlo. 579 00:34:34,116 --> 00:34:37,720 I have not. I come to you to help you see reason. 580 00:34:37,744 --> 00:34:40,098 Your obvious unhappiness endangers you. 581 00:34:40,122 --> 00:34:42,791 - In what way? - He will kill you. 582 00:34:46,670 --> 00:34:47,671 Marial! 583 00:34:50,549 --> 00:34:52,777 Uh, you wanted something, Empress? 584 00:34:52,801 --> 00:34:54,487 Where is Marial? 585 00:34:54,511 --> 00:34:57,532 She's... not here. Um, but she will be, 586 00:34:57,556 --> 00:34:59,325 - at an unknown time... - You are lying, 587 00:34:59,349 --> 00:35:01,578 which is both out of character and really annoying. 588 00:35:01,602 --> 00:35:02,704 Take me to her. 589 00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:15,949 Adieu. 590 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,351 Vlad, you will look worse than me when I am done with you. 591 00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:27,020 She will not touch you, Vlad. 592 00:35:27,044 --> 00:35:29,022 He wants me to touch him. Don't you, Vlad? 593 00:35:29,046 --> 00:35:30,714 Um... uh... 594 00:35:34,176 --> 00:35:37,113 - What happened? - I forgot my place. 595 00:35:37,137 --> 00:35:39,157 - Who? - It does not matter. 596 00:35:39,181 --> 00:35:43,161 My nature and my station collided, that is all. 597 00:35:43,185 --> 00:35:44,746 No one has the right to do this. 598 00:35:44,770 --> 00:35:48,607 Technically untrue. I am property, not a person. 599 00:35:49,566 --> 00:35:52,086 Give me a few minutes and I will be out to dress you for dinner. 600 00:35:53,737 --> 00:35:56,633 What has happened? Are you all right? 601 00:35:56,657 --> 00:35:58,218 I did not realize I would be having so many guests. 602 00:35:58,242 --> 00:36:00,762 - I would have had tea brought down. - Who did this? 603 00:36:00,786 --> 00:36:03,765 She will not say. Lady Svenska, perhaps. 604 00:36:03,789 --> 00:36:06,017 It was not her. 605 00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:07,519 I have a job to do. 606 00:36:10,546 --> 00:36:13,691 I am ready. Let us go, Empress. 607 00:36:13,715 --> 00:36:16,528 Empress, I had a vision from God this afternoon. 608 00:36:16,552 --> 00:36:17,928 Oh, he does that. 609 00:36:19,972 --> 00:36:22,140 I came to Marial to pass it to you. 610 00:36:22,933 --> 00:36:26,371 Knives were raining down from the clouds, 611 00:36:26,395 --> 00:36:28,206 headed for your soft skin. 612 00:36:28,230 --> 00:36:31,251 And you smiled, and they all disappeared 613 00:36:31,275 --> 00:36:33,044 and became flower petals, 614 00:36:33,068 --> 00:36:35,404 floating gently down. 615 00:36:36,196 --> 00:36:38,216 Everyone wants me to be happy, 616 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:40,158 now even God. 617 00:36:41,368 --> 00:36:44,329 God's love... is all. 618 00:37:18,113 --> 00:37:19,907 I am training them. 619 00:37:27,206 --> 00:37:29,684 They do not all make the journey to a new land. 620 00:37:31,084 --> 00:37:33,003 My dear, sit. 621 00:37:34,755 --> 00:37:36,399 And let's talk of how you are. 622 00:37:36,423 --> 00:37:39,402 I'm quite well. Note my smiling face. 623 00:37:39,426 --> 00:37:42,971 I do. Has Emperor Peter had something to do with this? 624 00:37:44,139 --> 00:37:48,411 - He has been sweet. - Oh. At heart, that is him. 625 00:37:48,435 --> 00:37:52,457 You know, as a young boy, Peter would run to his mother, 626 00:37:52,481 --> 00:37:56,461 holding aloft a picture he'd drawn or a boat fashioned from leaves, 627 00:37:56,485 --> 00:37:59,756 his eyes and words begging for approbation, 628 00:37:59,780 --> 00:38:01,591 for love. 629 00:38:01,615 --> 00:38:04,761 And she would level a gaze at him and hold him in it, 630 00:38:04,785 --> 00:38:07,972 and he would fall silent and go so still. 631 00:38:07,996 --> 00:38:10,433 And then tears would run from his eyes, 632 00:38:10,457 --> 00:38:13,686 and his whole body would begin shaking uncontrollably, 633 00:38:13,710 --> 00:38:16,606 and urine would pool at his feet. 634 00:38:16,630 --> 00:38:19,317 Hmm. It was a curious phenomenon. 635 00:38:19,341 --> 00:38:21,402 Why would she do that? 636 00:38:21,426 --> 00:38:23,029 Everyone has their thing. 637 00:38:23,053 --> 00:38:25,573 Hers was cruelty. 638 00:38:25,597 --> 00:38:28,076 So I'm asking for some forgiveness, 639 00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:32,354 some empathy, from one I can tell is filled with both. 640 00:38:39,319 --> 00:38:41,548 That is amazing. 641 00:38:41,572 --> 00:38:43,282 Indeed. 642 00:38:45,826 --> 00:38:47,971 Aah, stop. Stop. Get back here. 643 00:38:49,997 --> 00:38:52,624 Aah. Good evening, husband. 644 00:38:53,417 --> 00:38:55,061 Empress. 645 00:38:55,085 --> 00:38:57,522 You look marvelous. 646 00:38:57,546 --> 00:38:59,941 And your skirt, 647 00:38:59,965 --> 00:39:02,318 it is very pretty. Thanks. 648 00:39:02,342 --> 00:39:05,530 It also allows one's cock to swing free in the air. 649 00:39:05,554 --> 00:39:07,949 Marvelous. Old Madam Bolzoi whipped it up. 650 00:39:07,973 --> 00:39:10,034 It is genius. 651 00:39:10,058 --> 00:39:13,079 I apologize if I have been of sour face lately. 652 00:39:13,103 --> 00:39:16,916 I had my blood in, and you know how that goes. Rrrr. 653 00:39:16,940 --> 00:39:20,378 Oh, right. I see. Well, that explains much. 654 00:39:20,402 --> 00:39:22,005 But I feel much restored. 655 00:39:22,029 --> 00:39:24,507 What is the nature of this stunning banquet? 656 00:39:24,531 --> 00:39:26,176 We are honoring some of our wounded, 657 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,761 who finally won a battle for us against Sweden. 658 00:39:28,785 --> 00:39:30,805 Poor fucking guys. 659 00:39:30,829 --> 00:39:32,891 No eyes, that one. 660 00:39:32,915 --> 00:39:36,102 To never see a naked woman or a deer in full fucking fight again. 661 00:39:36,126 --> 00:39:38,378 Still, he may fuck ugly women and be happy now. 662 00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:41,548 Huzzah. 663 00:39:43,133 --> 00:39:45,344 Let us dance. Ooh. 664 00:39:53,769 --> 00:39:56,039 You're an exceptional dancer. 665 00:39:56,063 --> 00:39:58,440 The secret is to imagine your feet have wings on them. 666 00:40:14,748 --> 00:40:17,936 Orlo, you virgin. Pretend to mount your own hand. 667 00:40:19,753 --> 00:40:21,523 Brilliant! 668 00:40:23,549 --> 00:40:25,425 George, do the thing. 669 00:40:26,051 --> 00:40:28,947 Watch this. It is marvelous. 670 00:40:32,391 --> 00:40:33,934 - Huzzah! - Huzzah! 671 00:40:37,229 --> 00:40:40,291 Whoo! Ah! 672 00:40:40,315 --> 00:40:43,068 Ah! Cake! Cake! 673 00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:45,696 Ah! Thank you! 674 00:40:46,697 --> 00:40:49,092 Ah, rich! 675 00:40:49,116 --> 00:40:52,011 He will suffocate, yet die the happiest of men. 676 00:40:57,416 --> 00:41:00,687 To the men who died in battle. 677 00:41:00,711 --> 00:41:03,940 To those who returned without all their fucking limbs. 678 00:41:03,964 --> 00:41:05,066 Huzzah! 679 00:41:05,090 --> 00:41:06,901 Huzzah! 680 00:41:10,137 --> 00:41:12,907 - Oh. That was delicious. - Mm. 681 00:41:12,931 --> 00:41:14,534 I agree entirely. 682 00:41:14,558 --> 00:41:16,995 I knew we had things in common. Good taste. 683 00:41:17,019 --> 00:41:18,913 And our prettiness. 684 00:41:18,937 --> 00:41:20,456 Hmm. 685 00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:27,213 Bring in those Swedish heads. 686 00:41:27,237 --> 00:41:29,406 We will eat dessert under their beady gaze. 687 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,543 Hmm. 688 00:41:46,381 --> 00:41:48,109 Mmm. 689 00:41:48,133 --> 00:41:50,719 Fucking lemoniest of lemon. Extraordinary. 690 00:41:52,971 --> 00:41:55,867 Would you like mine? It matches your hair. 691 00:41:55,891 --> 00:41:57,368 Hmm. 692 00:41:57,392 --> 00:41:59,436 Indeed. 693 00:42:07,236 --> 00:42:09,696 It is happy to be happy together, is it not? 694 00:42:10,656 --> 00:42:12,592 It is marvelous. 695 00:42:12,616 --> 00:42:14,385 You are marvelous. 696 00:42:14,409 --> 00:42:17,514 You gave me a bear and have ceased punching me. 697 00:42:17,538 --> 00:42:19,641 What woman would not be happy? 698 00:42:19,665 --> 00:42:21,184 - Huzzah. - Huzzah. 699 00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:22,208 Hmm. 700 00:42:25,212 --> 00:42:27,381 I feel we are being stared at. 701 00:42:29,299 --> 00:42:31,093 I believe we are. 702 00:42:33,804 --> 00:42:35,740 You rude fucker. 703 00:42:35,764 --> 00:42:37,057 Hmm? 704 00:42:44,439 --> 00:42:47,943 Everyone, poke their fucking eyes out. 705 00:43:20,017 --> 00:43:21,226 Huzzah. 706 00:43:24,062 --> 00:43:27,816 To be true to my heart, apparently, I must be disingenuous with my face. 707 00:43:28,442 --> 00:43:30,253 It is the way for all of us. 708 00:43:30,277 --> 00:43:33,298 It is not a crime to lie to others, 709 00:43:33,322 --> 00:43:35,532 just to lie to one's self. 710 00:43:36,450 --> 00:43:40,430 Very profound. It is very fucking unpleasant to me. 711 00:43:40,454 --> 00:43:43,266 Hmm. You perhaps thought the taking of an empire would be effortless. 712 00:43:43,290 --> 00:43:47,437 - I do not like your tone. - Why? It contains the prick of truth. 713 00:43:47,461 --> 00:43:49,397 Yes, that is exactly why. 714 00:43:51,298 --> 00:43:53,401 Are you sore? 715 00:43:53,425 --> 00:43:56,678 The emperor requests entrance. 716 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,734 Thank you and have a pleasant night, husband. 717 00:44:34,758 --> 00:44:36,510 Right. You, too. 718 00:44:37,469 --> 00:44:39,113 Was good, huh? 719 00:44:39,137 --> 00:44:40,264 Indeed. 720 00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:42,224 Indeed. 721 00:44:43,517 --> 00:44:45,435 Okay. Good. 722 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:47,521 Indeed. 723 00:44:55,529 --> 00:44:56,965 Empress. 724 00:44:56,989 --> 00:44:58,967 What a life you live, Orlo. 725 00:44:58,991 --> 00:45:02,470 You will not get your cock wet or your knife bloody 726 00:45:02,494 --> 00:45:04,305 or your heart even pumping, 727 00:45:04,329 --> 00:45:08,226 but you will perform like a cock-pumping circus for him. 728 00:45:08,250 --> 00:45:11,229 These books, these ideas, 729 00:45:11,253 --> 00:45:13,773 as dead on your shelves as you are inside. 730 00:45:13,797 --> 00:45:16,484 They are poetry, not reality. 731 00:45:16,508 --> 00:45:20,238 Would you not like to see a strong, vibrant Russia, 732 00:45:20,262 --> 00:45:23,158 alive with ideas, humane and progressive, 733 00:45:23,182 --> 00:45:25,493 where people live with dignity and purpose? 734 00:45:25,517 --> 00:45:27,078 I would. 735 00:45:27,102 --> 00:45:30,790 And a talking pig, and a dog that cooks omelets. 736 00:45:30,814 --> 00:45:33,525 But I suspect I will die disappointed. 737 00:45:34,359 --> 00:45:38,590 Well, there's an aspiration, to die disappointed. 738 00:45:38,614 --> 00:45:41,259 Good luck with that. I suspect you will make it. 739 00:45:41,283 --> 00:45:45,662 Empress, I have looked at the situation and at what I can achieve within reason. 740 00:45:46,747 --> 00:45:50,417 What's the point in believing in something if you will not act for it? 741 00:45:50,918 --> 00:45:54,439 I, too, believe in reason, in a nation ruled by it. 742 00:45:54,463 --> 00:45:59,009 But I believe only action and passion will achieve it. 743 00:46:00,844 --> 00:46:03,573 I will not live my life on the sidelines, 744 00:46:03,597 --> 00:46:05,033 some half-hearted coward. 745 00:46:05,057 --> 00:46:07,518 I promised myself a great love. 746 00:46:08,268 --> 00:46:10,455 That didn't work out. 747 00:46:10,479 --> 00:46:12,189 Then I realized... 748 00:46:12,940 --> 00:46:16,586 it is a great life that I want. 749 00:46:16,610 --> 00:46:18,278 Everyone does that. 750 00:46:18,987 --> 00:46:22,550 Then they grow up and realize that there are parameters. 751 00:46:22,574 --> 00:46:25,678 Treason is what we're discussing here, 752 00:46:25,702 --> 00:46:28,056 which could get you cut open, filled with baby rats, 753 00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:29,331 and then sewn back up. 754 00:46:30,374 --> 00:46:32,209 - I hate rats. - So do I. 755 00:46:34,545 --> 00:46:36,272 What else do you hate? 756 00:46:36,296 --> 00:46:38,358 I hate the war. 757 00:46:38,382 --> 00:46:41,653 I hate the fucking state of my country. 758 00:46:41,677 --> 00:46:43,363 But this is Russia, 759 00:46:43,387 --> 00:46:45,889 things change incrementally. 760 00:46:47,140 --> 00:46:48,910 As I said, you'll get used to it. 761 00:46:48,934 --> 00:46:53,122 If I am ever used to it, I will not be me. 762 00:46:53,146 --> 00:46:55,482 I make a difference, Empress. 763 00:46:56,233 --> 00:46:59,420 I spread ideas. I make progress. 764 00:46:59,444 --> 00:47:01,422 I understand. 765 00:47:01,446 --> 00:47:04,741 If you did this, you would be a different man. 766 00:47:07,286 --> 00:47:12,875 You would be a man who had been on fire all this time... 767 00:47:13,917 --> 00:47:17,063 but finally, one day, 768 00:47:17,087 --> 00:47:19,381 let himself take the lid off, 769 00:47:20,465 --> 00:47:23,903 and let the fire burn away the fear, 770 00:47:23,927 --> 00:47:26,781 and leave him raw and ready 771 00:47:26,805 --> 00:47:29,808 to do what it took to join hands with me. 772 00:47:31,268 --> 00:47:34,229 And we would transform this country, 773 00:47:35,772 --> 00:47:39,234 and die, if needs be, in the process. 774 00:47:42,070 --> 00:47:45,008 But we would happily die, 775 00:47:45,032 --> 00:47:48,160 knowing we lived as we should. 776 00:47:49,661 --> 00:47:51,705 You would be that man. 777 00:47:59,588 --> 00:48:00,797 I can't. 778 00:48:02,466 --> 00:48:06,261 I saw a small man and imagined something bigger. 779 00:48:07,804 --> 00:48:09,657 I apologize, sir. 780 00:48:43,340 --> 00:48:44,925 What will you do with them? 781 00:48:46,635 --> 00:48:48,136 Burn them. 782 00:48:59,189 --> 00:49:01,358 I need you to give these a Christian burial. 783 00:49:02,776 --> 00:49:04,778 I can only do a whole body. 784 00:49:10,033 --> 00:49:12,262 I could bless them. 785 00:49:18,041 --> 00:49:22,105 Grant rest eternal in blessed repose, O Lord, 786 00:49:22,129 --> 00:49:24,607 to Thy servant who's fallen asleep, 787 00:49:24,631 --> 00:49:27,402 and make their memory to be eternal. 788 00:49:41,857 --> 00:49:43,418 So I've decided not to kill her. 789 00:49:43,442 --> 00:49:45,170 She was full of happy japes. 790 00:49:45,194 --> 00:49:47,797 She explained her blood was in for weeks, apparently, 791 00:49:47,821 --> 00:49:50,133 which was strange but may be an Austrian thing, 792 00:49:50,157 --> 00:49:52,576 so let us forgive her and give her another chance. 793 00:49:53,827 --> 00:49:55,871 Emperor, Count Rostov. 794 00:49:58,457 --> 00:50:01,895 Rostov, you still have a beaver on your face. What the fuck? 795 00:50:01,919 --> 00:50:05,148 Emperor, perhaps a gesture 796 00:50:05,172 --> 00:50:09,277 would be to make the having of beards an issue of free will. 797 00:50:09,301 --> 00:50:10,612 We've been talking. 798 00:50:10,636 --> 00:50:12,530 - Who's "we"? - All of us. 799 00:50:12,554 --> 00:50:15,283 Velementov, you explained it well. 800 00:50:15,307 --> 00:50:16,975 I, um... 801 00:50:17,935 --> 00:50:20,413 Perhaps an idea of, um... 802 00:50:20,437 --> 00:50:24,501 allowing people to choose would be a way to... 803 00:50:24,525 --> 00:50:27,045 express love, and, uh, 804 00:50:27,069 --> 00:50:29,947 share the strength of your leadership, and, um... 805 00:50:31,031 --> 00:50:32,967 our quest for modernity. 806 00:50:32,991 --> 00:50:36,971 They realize your wisdom and almost all happily honor it, 807 00:50:36,995 --> 00:50:39,140 while allowing some freedom. 808 00:50:39,164 --> 00:50:41,100 They love you more. 809 00:50:41,124 --> 00:50:45,271 And what if they all wear beards as an open "fuck you"? 810 00:50:45,295 --> 00:50:46,731 - They would not. - Of course they would not, 811 00:50:46,755 --> 00:50:48,691 for they love the emperor, 812 00:50:48,715 --> 00:50:51,110 but I agree with Grigor. 813 00:50:51,134 --> 00:50:53,905 It opens the door for the unhappiness 814 00:50:53,929 --> 00:50:56,574 to have a visual symbol of rebellion. 815 00:50:56,598 --> 00:51:00,119 - It's just a beard. - I just need dispensation, that is all. 816 00:51:00,143 --> 00:51:02,062 - My wife... - Shut up. 817 00:51:02,813 --> 00:51:05,416 What unhappiness? Archie? 818 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:06,960 There is no unhappiness. 819 00:51:06,984 --> 00:51:09,128 - None at all. - Mere hypothetics, I'm sure... 820 00:51:09,152 --> 00:51:11,864 They should all do as the emperor fucking says! 821 00:51:12,698 --> 00:51:15,343 His will is what we all must bend to. 822 00:51:15,367 --> 00:51:18,388 His wisdom. Why should some bend and not others? 823 00:51:18,412 --> 00:51:20,473 Hear. Hear. Now, now I think on it properly, 824 00:51:20,497 --> 00:51:22,392 this is a silly thing to ever consider. 825 00:51:22,416 --> 00:51:25,436 So the edict stands. Rostov, get rid of that fucking beard. 826 00:51:25,460 --> 00:51:27,605 You cannot just force everyone to just bend to your will, 827 00:51:27,629 --> 00:51:30,817 for externally they will, but inside, simmering discontent will rise, 828 00:51:30,841 --> 00:51:33,218 and may spew forth. 829 00:51:37,681 --> 00:51:39,284 Are you yelling at me, Orlo? 830 00:51:39,308 --> 00:51:41,310 Sir, you must win their minds. 831 00:51:47,858 --> 00:51:50,044 Sir. Sir, uh, 832 00:51:50,068 --> 00:51:53,089 we can move the country on and bring the people with us by choice, 833 00:51:53,113 --> 00:51:54,465 rather than force. 834 00:51:54,489 --> 00:51:56,759 - Free will is an important... - Emperor... 835 00:51:56,783 --> 00:51:58,636 Shut the fuck up, fatso. 836 00:52:05,042 --> 00:52:07,812 - Shave him. - What? 837 00:52:07,836 --> 00:52:10,356 Fucking shave him. 838 00:52:10,380 --> 00:52:13,550 Rostov, move, and you'll lose more than your beard. 839 00:52:15,677 --> 00:52:18,263 Of course, you have free will, you can refuse me. 840 00:52:18,764 --> 00:52:20,265 Go ahead. Make your choice. 841 00:52:21,391 --> 00:52:24,353 And then I will have free will to make my next choice. 842 00:52:36,448 --> 00:52:38,426 Um, water and soap. 843 00:52:38,450 --> 00:52:39,993 Just do it. 844 00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:50,462 Orlo, you fuck. 845 00:53:01,265 --> 00:53:03,141 It is Orlo.