1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,750 You're not Great, are you? 2 00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:26,628 - What? - Peter the Great, not you. 3 00:00:26,630 --> 00:00:28,958 No, that's my father. 4 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,420 I'm Peter the... 5 00:00:31,550 --> 00:00:33,258 Could we be silent? 6 00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:34,334 I'm trying to concentrate, 7 00:00:34,336 --> 00:00:36,088 and it's already hard enough when there's a bee. 8 00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:37,623 I was once stung in the eye and it really hurt, 9 00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:39,101 so I find them quite unnerving. 10 00:00:39,103 --> 00:00:40,773 - Of course. - Thank you. 11 00:00:58,030 --> 00:01:00,788 - Empress. - Emperor. 12 00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:05,578 Marial! A bath. 13 00:01:13,050 --> 00:01:15,088 - Huzzah! - Fuck off. I'm in a mood. 14 00:01:15,090 --> 00:01:16,798 Oh, let me guess. A bad mood? 15 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,508 - To repeat myself, fuck off. - Charming. 16 00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,928 You are the emperor of Russia, 17 00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:24,268 lord of all you survey. 18 00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:26,688 - That's true. - So... 19 00:01:26,690 --> 00:01:28,348 don't be so fucking mournful. 20 00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:31,148 Oh, you're right. She cannot make me mournful. 21 00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:33,988 So I say again, huzzah. 22 00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:35,698 Huzzah. Thank you, my friend. 23 00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:44,450 Hmm. 24 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,850 Ah! 25 00:02:13,270 --> 00:02:16,278 Oh! No! 26 00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:20,818 Louder! 27 00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:23,788 Louder! Sing louder, you fuckers! 28 00:02:30,460 --> 00:02:34,050 Yeah. 29 00:02:35,460 --> 00:02:38,088 Exactly. That's exactly my point. 30 00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:49,808 I've been thinking. 31 00:02:49,810 --> 00:02:52,978 We must begin the planning, sooner rather than later. 32 00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:54,478 That bad, huh? 33 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,398 Mm, more dull than horrific. 34 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:01,358 But Russia must be saved, and I with it. 35 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,948 How, is the question. 36 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:07,408 I've never done a coup before, so I'm unsure how to proceed. 37 00:03:07,410 --> 00:03:10,458 Well, I would suggest, next time he is rutting on you, 38 00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:15,338 take a knife, plunge it into his neck, and face. 39 00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:18,298 - You're all hot blood, aren't you? - Thank you. 40 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:20,088 You just need someone who will kill him. 41 00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:23,508 - Why would they do that? - Because they hate him. 42 00:03:23,510 --> 00:03:25,808 And yet that has not been enough to make it happen. 43 00:03:25,810 --> 00:03:28,388 - True. - They need a reason for it. 44 00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:31,388 Besides, I do not seek to kill for hatred, 45 00:03:31,390 --> 00:03:33,768 but to create a greater Russia, 46 00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:36,648 a progressive and humane place. 47 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:40,278 Oh, okay... Right. 48 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,278 That's good. 49 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,408 We need a philosophical backbone that people can gather behind, 50 00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:47,698 believe in. 51 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,328 I will need help to develop that. 52 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:54,708 For while I am brilliant, it must be tested and impregnable. 53 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:58,378 Orlo is the man to help me. 54 00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,588 - What? Are you mad? - I am brilliant, 55 00:04:00,590 --> 00:04:03,088 which has often been misconstrued as mad. 56 00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:06,508 - Orlo is one of Peter's inner circle. - Not in his heart. 57 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:10,888 For when he speaks of Descartes, he lit from within. 58 00:04:10,890 --> 00:04:12,848 That is the truth of him. 59 00:04:12,850 --> 00:04:17,398 He is a player who has survived ten years, that is not easy. 60 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,648 He is a bumbler with women, but not with politics. 61 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,818 So? He is a savvy to boot, bonus for us. 62 00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:25,490 Let us go find him. My robe? 63 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:34,998 Empress, it is a dangerous game, do you realize? 64 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,580 Of course I do. 65 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,298 How so? 66 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:43,048 If Peter were to discover you plotting, 67 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,428 you would be good as dead. 68 00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:48,968 I am as good as dead here, 69 00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:51,178 so I have nothing to lose. 70 00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:53,728 Forty-one, Count Smolny. 71 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,478 A small thing, Emperor. 72 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,738 I would like the take the land of my recently widowed 73 00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:04,358 sister-in-law and nephews. 74 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,318 Oh, that's sad. How did Orlovsky die? 75 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,410 A sword was found in his back, 76 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,828 though it's unclear how it got there. 77 00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:14,498 - Hmm. - I agree with Count Smolny, 78 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:18,668 and perhaps some of the lands he takes could be tithed to the church... 79 00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:21,378 a small percentage, say, 15, 80 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:23,878 laid before our Lord God's feet. 81 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,048 So much is laid at the church's feet, 82 00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:28,508 I sometimes fear they cannot see the congregation 83 00:05:28,510 --> 00:05:30,928 for the dazzling riches they stack before them. 84 00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:33,098 Funny, Orlo. You greedy fuck, Archie! 85 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,808 And if we allow this, swords might start appearing 86 00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:37,728 in brothers' backs all over Russia, 87 00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:40,478 causing great tension at family gatherings and parties. 88 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,778 Good one, Orlo. Let's not ruin the parties. 89 00:05:42,780 --> 00:05:44,860 Emperor. 90 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,568 This is so dull. 91 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:52,118 Velementov, do a funny little dance to amuse me. 92 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,328 Sir, I am... 93 00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:56,618 leader of the armed forces. 94 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,958 - I do not do a funny little... - Arkady? 95 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,958 Stab Velementov in the face. 96 00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:13,558 Uh, uh, 42... 97 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,640 uh, Count Rostov. 98 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,020 Rostov? 99 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:24,028 I bring you the peaches you love, Emperor, 100 00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:26,568 and the love of the people of my region. 101 00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:28,778 What the fuck, Rostov? 102 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:31,238 Why do you still wear a beard? 103 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,038 It is why I come before you today. 104 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,618 I would like special dispensation to wear one. 105 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,460 And I would like a bird that shits chocolate. 106 00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:42,248 Gentlemen, I said I would like a bird that shits chocolate. 107 00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:47,338 Orlo, explain my fucking edict while I eat this peach. 108 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:51,008 Dispensation on beards is for the guards and the priests only. 109 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:54,098 Fuck me, that's a good peach. It's fragrant, sweet. 110 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:56,058 There's a slight lemon to that. 111 00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:57,928 Jesus, Rostov. Look at you. 112 00:06:57,930 --> 00:06:59,848 I am a modern ruler, 113 00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:03,360 making things happen in a modern, European way. No beards. 114 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,068 Sir... I beg you. 115 00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:10,320 Well, you are not on your knees, so you don't. 116 00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:16,830 Get up, fuck off, and come back with a shaved face. 117 00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:21,038 We should, uh, hear Rostov out. 118 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:25,248 It is the custom that aristocrats make requests of their emperor. 119 00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:27,708 Oh, I agree. For I would love to know 120 00:07:27,710 --> 00:07:30,678 why a man comes before you with a beard that says, "Fuck you". 121 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,548 Is that what your beard says, Rostov? 122 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,638 Uh, Grigor, I do not believe he is saying that. 123 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,388 - Metaphorically. What else? - No! 124 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:41,440 My wife has never seen my face... 125 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,898 and it is unfortunate. 126 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,988 Unfortunate how? 127 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:53,110 It is a mix of boils and pustules, 128 00:07:53,950 --> 00:07:55,700 scarring. 129 00:07:57,660 --> 00:07:59,830 I fear she will not... 130 00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:04,748 want me, not be happy with me. 131 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,394 So your wife will not be happy, 132 00:08:06,396 --> 00:08:08,248 but I will, and that's all that matters. 133 00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:10,968 A man's wife's happiness should not be so fucking important. 134 00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:13,010 Shave it off and return to me tomorrow. 135 00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:17,758 Rostov. 136 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,308 Orlo. 137 00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,848 Taxes may be slow for my region this month. 138 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,188 And every peach will be bruised. 139 00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:28,188 Our family hold the region together. 140 00:08:28,190 --> 00:08:30,318 I thought he'd have some compassion. 141 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,360 Delusional optimism, Rostov. 142 00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:35,618 But I believe we can win this. 143 00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:38,118 - How? - Peter is often swayed 144 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,658 if the whole group is against something. 145 00:08:40,660 --> 00:08:44,170 Let me gather numbers, and then tomorrow, we will bring you to him. 146 00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:02,348 Hmm. 147 00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:03,978 I cannot see him. 148 00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:06,268 Empress, you look radiant. 149 00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:07,938 We would love for you to join us. 150 00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:10,148 We have cakes in the shape of woodland animals, 151 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:13,858 and it is a lark to dunk their faces in vodka and eat them. 152 00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:17,948 It sounds interminable, Lady Svenska, so I shall pass. 153 00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:20,080 If you would move... 154 00:09:28,290 --> 00:09:31,708 Well, I will be the first to say what we are all thinking. 155 00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:34,918 She is a bitch, who sides with a serf. 156 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:35,946 Who's stuck up and rude. 157 00:09:35,948 --> 00:09:37,466 She is a great disappointment. 158 00:09:37,468 --> 00:09:41,218 She is new, and we must try harder. 159 00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:44,678 For we must make her happy to make the emperor happy. 160 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,148 I thought you take care of his happiness, Madam Dymov. 161 00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,648 Grigor, a moment. 162 00:09:54,650 --> 00:09:57,408 - I'm leaving, Orlo. - But Count, Count Rostov's beard. 163 00:09:57,410 --> 00:10:00,908 I want him to keep it. It's a question of free will. 164 00:10:00,910 --> 00:10:02,448 You can help me convince Peter. 165 00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:05,788 I can't help you, Orlo. We live at the emperor's whim. 166 00:10:05,790 --> 00:10:09,418 People should accept that. Shut the fuck up, and have a drink. 167 00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:12,958 I thought if anyone would like the idea of free will taking hold, 168 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,588 it would be you. 169 00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:16,420 And Madam Dymov. 170 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,088 I shall refrain from punching you in the face 171 00:10:19,090 --> 00:10:21,138 for the next 12 seconds. 172 00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:23,810 - You should walk on. - You know... 173 00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:30,558 Fabulous party, isn't it? 174 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,978 It is a happy court, it seems. 175 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,530 All is bliss in the court of Peter. 176 00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:39,158 Do I detect a slight jest in your voice? 177 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,080 I ate a radish. It can affect the vocal cords. 178 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,408 Empress. 179 00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:47,578 Darling. Are you drunk yet? 180 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,458 Um, not yet, despite strenuous efforts. 181 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:53,800 In fact, I thought I might retire to our apartment. 182 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:56,970 Then I go with you. 183 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:01,720 Orlo. 184 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,978 I have a pamphlet by Voltaire, I would love to share with you. 185 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:09,938 Mm. Thank you. 186 00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:13,228 I am learning much of the kingdom, dear Orlo. 187 00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:16,818 It has come to my attention the emperor is not Peter the Great. 188 00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:20,028 That was his father, a great man. 189 00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:24,028 - What is this Peter's flourish? - He does not have one. 190 00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:25,698 Hmm. 191 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,748 Peter the... 192 00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:30,000 Not Quite Adequate? 193 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:33,668 I think you already thought of this jest. 194 00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:35,920 I don't know what you mean. 195 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:49,428 I am sure. Set a meet. 196 00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:54,980 Here we are. 197 00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:36,558 Velementov. 198 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:37,768 Velementov. 199 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,940 Oh. Orlo. 200 00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:45,868 Oh, God. Oh, God, my fucking head. 201 00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:48,738 You all right? You look even more nervy than usual. 202 00:12:48,740 --> 00:12:51,998 - I'm fine. I must talk of Rostov. - Mm. 203 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,288 We must work on Peter to keep his beard. 204 00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:56,038 What the fuck do I care about his beard? 205 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,168 Men are dying in the field. 206 00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:01,968 A beard is not my concern. Huh? 207 00:13:01,970 --> 00:13:04,378 The day is unstable for lack of... 208 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,928 Ah, yes. I remember now. 209 00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:12,520 I'm drunk, yes. 210 00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:16,688 No beards was always a stupid idea. 211 00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:19,398 And might I remind you, it was your idea. 212 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,108 It is stupid. 213 00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:24,278 But it is a modern European court idea and Peter allowed it, 214 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,738 which allows us to present more modern European ideas, 215 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,488 and perhaps one day, a meaningful one. 216 00:13:29,490 --> 00:13:32,908 Always playing the long game, Orlo. 217 00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:37,208 I, however, have some short-term debts 218 00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:39,378 the treasury might see to. 219 00:13:39,380 --> 00:13:41,588 You've said no before, but, uh, 220 00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:44,838 perhaps your beard is important to you. 221 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,298 Prick. 222 00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,220 I know a "yes" when I hear one. 223 00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:59,058 Oh, no! No, my darlings, no! 224 00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:00,398 - Hello. - Oh! 225 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,438 Problem? 226 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,528 - I'm training them. - The butterflies? 227 00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:06,071 What if I could get them to align, 228 00:14:06,073 --> 00:14:08,698 and fly in forms of my own choosing? 229 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,158 How wonderful that would be. 230 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,198 And how is that working out? 231 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,328 I admire their willfulness. 232 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,538 Quite. 233 00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:19,628 Now you, my dearest nephew. 234 00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:23,048 I was noticing the unhappy nature of your bride. 235 00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:25,128 Dark clouds have covered the sun. 236 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,468 Well, fuck her. She has everything. 237 00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:30,088 She is unhappy. It is spoken of at court. 238 00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:32,558 Unhappiness in a court can be contagious. 239 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,638 You must clear the clouds. 240 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,848 She must clear the fucking clouds. 241 00:14:36,850 --> 00:14:38,768 I'm the emperor. 242 00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:42,568 As you know, my taste in love runs wild and free, 243 00:14:42,570 --> 00:14:44,507 but I know I cannot make a heart sing 244 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:46,688 just because I am the emperor's family. 245 00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:50,108 That does not get a man hard or a woman wet. 246 00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:52,158 You must capture their heart. 247 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,288 It is her job to make me happy. 248 00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,078 She does not love me. 249 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,960 Everyone else does, so the fault lies with her. 250 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,878 Your mother once confided in me 251 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,880 that she saw something within you that made her heart curdle. 252 00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:10,298 - What? - She insisted that there was 253 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,508 something quite... rancid about you. 254 00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:16,348 What is the point of this conversation? 255 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:18,478 Oh, I wonder whether Catherine has seen the same thing, 256 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,440 and it is stopping her from loving you. 257 00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:26,608 I punched her. 258 00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:29,778 Oh. Some enjoy that, 259 00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:31,948 but perhaps she does not. 260 00:15:31,950 --> 00:15:35,030 Regardless, you must do something about it. 261 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,830 Oh, hello. 262 00:15:55,850 --> 00:15:57,558 What are they? 263 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:58,928 Just some notes. 264 00:15:58,930 --> 00:16:01,638 This is on the basic principles for the new government: 265 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,348 some ideals, 266 00:16:03,350 --> 00:16:06,070 the question of citizens' rights we must discuss. 267 00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:09,688 I must excite his mind to the possibilities 268 00:16:09,690 --> 00:16:11,238 that we can build together. 269 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,158 And then you'll fuck him, right? 270 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,740 What? 271 00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:19,288 He needs to be cunt-struck by you. 272 00:16:19,290 --> 00:16:20,658 You must fuck him, 273 00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:24,580 and then he will set his face on fire if you ask it. 274 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,210 - Seduce him. - Seduce him? 275 00:16:29,340 --> 00:16:33,010 I have never done that. 276 00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:40,558 It's easy. You just lie back. 277 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,350 Expose some flesh, be suggestive, but not explicit. 278 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:48,358 - Go on. - Touch him casually about his person, 279 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,938 and be loose. 280 00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:52,528 Maybe a breast falls from your blouse. 281 00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:55,198 And then he will be on you. 282 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,988 On me. 283 00:16:56,990 --> 00:17:00,448 - Okay. - And then after he has done you, 284 00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:03,498 profess love, union, stars in alignment, 285 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,208 fate, philosophy, shed some tears of unhappiness, 286 00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:09,418 and then talk knives in necks. 287 00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:11,880 And eat an oyster. Helps your mood. 288 00:17:29,610 --> 00:17:31,900 Enter. 289 00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:34,738 Dear Orlo. 290 00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:38,488 Thank you for coming. 291 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,198 It is my pleasure. 292 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,198 I have the Voltaire pamphlet. 293 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:48,130 Giving me gifts, alone, in a secluded cottage. 294 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,548 It is completely inappropriate, you know. 295 00:17:51,550 --> 00:17:53,088 Shit. Sorry. 296 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:57,338 Um, should, should we go to the, um, uh, library or the, the garden? 297 00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:59,890 It is thrilling to break the rules, is it not? 298 00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:05,388 I can't wait to confess and see Archie's face. 299 00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:08,438 He put his fingers inside me. 300 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:13,188 Oh. Okay, um, that's not good, is it? 301 00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:15,108 Sorry. 302 00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:17,948 Let's not... I don't... 303 00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:19,698 That's not why we're here. 304 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,040 - You have caught my eye. - Oh. Thank you. I am flattered. 305 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,328 Shall we read? 306 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:31,670 Is that what you want to do? 307 00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:35,468 Are you okay? You, you seem... 308 00:18:35,470 --> 00:18:37,088 - ... something. - Do I? 309 00:18:37,090 --> 00:18:38,758 Yes. 310 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,220 Does it stir you? 311 00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,058 - Um... - Champagne? 312 00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:46,308 I, I, I don't drink. I, I don't need anything. 313 00:18:46,310 --> 00:18:49,598 But is there anything you want? 314 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,108 I'm fine. 315 00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:54,400 Come and get it. 316 00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:59,448 Oh, my God. You are trying to seduce me. 317 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:08,458 Oh. 318 00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:10,668 You had the oysters. 319 00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:14,498 I'm, I'm always reluctant. They travel them some distance. 320 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,088 I'm a failure. 321 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:21,760 No. No, you're not. I, I, I would, of course, have sex. 322 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:27,178 Um, I'm not... Yes, uh, should we read first? 323 00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,888 I'm not used to, um... 324 00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:31,518 I feel a bit breathless, actually. Might sit. 325 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,728 I actually feel very unwell. 326 00:19:33,730 --> 00:19:37,858 Empress, I am not well-versed with women. 327 00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:39,198 Um... 328 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,450 I have in some way ruined things. I apologize. Sorry. 329 00:19:45,910 --> 00:19:49,118 Orlo! Don't go! 330 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,998 I will say it plain. 331 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,998 I was hoping you'd be mad with desire for me, 332 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,258 and then you'd help me inspire an army to kill Peter. 333 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,338 What? 334 00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:59,468 You wouldn't, would you? Kill him with me? 335 00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:02,930 - A coup? - Don't say anything else. 336 00:20:05,010 --> 00:20:07,268 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 337 00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:09,768 Oh, Fuck, fuck... fuck! 338 00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:17,608 I failed. 339 00:20:17,610 --> 00:20:19,688 I was not good at seducing, 340 00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:22,488 and he was not good at understanding that he was being seduced. 341 00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:25,448 And then when I just asked him straight out if he would kill Peter, 342 00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:26,868 he said, "fuck" and ran away. 343 00:20:26,870 --> 00:20:29,288 - When you what? - I do not wish to apportion blame, 344 00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:31,998 but I believe your seduction plan was ill-advised. 345 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,958 You told him of the coup? 346 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,458 I did. That also may have been ill-advised. 347 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:40,128 Shit. It is bad. 348 00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:41,668 I'm sure he will not tell him. 349 00:20:41,670 --> 00:20:42,928 He is good at heart. 350 00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:45,088 He has survived at court ten years. 351 00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:47,060 It takes dark skills. 352 00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:51,228 Loyalty is rewarded here. He could tell Peter. 353 00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:54,058 Then I must win him over before he does. 354 00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:57,018 I will go to him and try again. 355 00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:59,610 The emperor requests the empress's presence. 356 00:21:06,370 --> 00:21:09,240 How is the emperor's mood this morning? 357 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:19,168 Ah. Here you are. 358 00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:22,508 Taste this bacon. They are fed only on acorns and honey. 359 00:21:22,510 --> 00:21:24,010 It is amazing. 360 00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:30,888 Mm. Yes. Delicious. 361 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,558 We concur. We agree. 362 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,060 We share a love of bacon. Huzzah. 363 00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:39,320 Sit. 364 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,820 As requested. 365 00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:55,248 You probably don't remember this, 366 00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:58,328 but a week or two ago, I shot your bear and punched you. 367 00:21:58,330 --> 00:22:01,298 Perhaps it has cast a pall between us. 368 00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:03,588 The fact you shot my bear and punched me? 369 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:07,468 Yes. I think I was angry because no one has ever not liked me. 370 00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:08,928 Or at least, they're pretending to. 371 00:22:08,930 --> 00:22:11,508 Hmm. Toosh. 372 00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:13,848 - What? - Toosh. 373 00:22:13,850 --> 00:22:15,598 Do you mean touché? 374 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,268 - What, is it not toosh? - No. Touché. 375 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,688 See. That's great. How smart you are. 376 00:22:20,690 --> 00:22:23,358 Point is, it's a new day, a time to put things behind us. 377 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,608 Teething problems, I believe they call it. 378 00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:27,278 Are you apologizing to me? 379 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,738 I'm looking forward, not dwelling. 380 00:22:29,740 --> 00:22:32,490 It is hell to dwell. 381 00:22:33,290 --> 00:22:35,288 It is a saying I just made up. 382 00:22:35,290 --> 00:22:37,328 So you wish to forget it? 383 00:22:37,330 --> 00:22:40,460 Regret it and forget it. Another saying. 384 00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:43,378 Look, here's what I think's happened. 385 00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:46,298 You've come in here with a very romantic notion of me, 386 00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:47,678 and marriage, and your life. 387 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,838 A little naive, I guess. Not a criticism. 388 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,678 It's actually a lovely attribute. 389 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,598 You met me, and I'm not a romantic man, more a practical chap. 390 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,768 And I like to have fun, larks and jokes and weird sex. 391 00:22:58,770 --> 00:23:02,440 Point is, we're married, but we don't do it for each other. 392 00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:05,238 We finally agree. 393 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:09,238 Huzzah. Yes, accepting that truth might be liberating for us. 394 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,368 You're really a drag around court. I want you to find happiness here. 395 00:23:12,370 --> 00:23:13,948 Hence, strawberries. 396 00:23:13,950 --> 00:23:16,288 Also, a new bear, to replace the one I shot. 397 00:23:16,290 --> 00:23:19,118 Live as empress and enjoy it. 398 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:22,168 - We should also find you a lover. - I should take a lover? 399 00:23:22,170 --> 00:23:23,548 Yes, we should reach an agreement, 400 00:23:23,550 --> 00:23:25,128 because what's the alternative? 401 00:23:25,130 --> 00:23:28,548 You remain unhappy, I become more and more angry, and then I kill you. 402 00:23:28,550 --> 00:23:31,140 I don't want to kill you. You're not a bad person. 403 00:23:32,050 --> 00:23:35,520 I could kill you. You are a bad person. 404 00:23:39,310 --> 00:23:43,018 See? I like you. You're funny, in a droll, despairing sort of way. 405 00:23:43,020 --> 00:23:45,610 I couldn't take a lot of it, but occasionally, it's refreshing. 406 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,818 Now, would it be so bad? 407 00:23:47,820 --> 00:23:49,318 We have enough in common to get on. 408 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,488 We do? Like what? 409 00:23:51,490 --> 00:23:53,738 Well, we're both... 410 00:23:53,740 --> 00:23:55,080 pretty. 411 00:23:57,620 --> 00:24:01,078 Now, I never imagined myself as the guy who punches his wife. 412 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,748 And yet you are. 413 00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:04,418 Is that your mother's necklace? 414 00:24:04,420 --> 00:24:05,998 Yes. 415 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,548 I wear it sometimes to feel close. 416 00:24:08,550 --> 00:24:09,838 Did your father punch her? 417 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,138 I have said regrets and new day things. 418 00:24:12,140 --> 00:24:14,348 You must cheer up and look forward to the future. 419 00:24:14,350 --> 00:24:17,678 I do, very much look forward to the future. 420 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,060 Oh. That's great. 421 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,768 For I gather, you will not punch me again. 422 00:24:23,770 --> 00:24:25,608 I won't. 423 00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:27,398 - We are agreed? - Oh. 424 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,240 That one is rancid. 425 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,200 As is your whole idea. 426 00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:53,220 You're still strong. 427 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,350 We all are if we know where to find it. 428 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:01,978 Oh, your heart is pounding. 429 00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:03,188 I've been fighting. 430 00:25:03,190 --> 00:25:05,188 Your joy in pain is disturbing. 431 00:25:05,190 --> 00:25:07,518 We must all know our darkness, 432 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,738 for how else do we know where to shine the light? 433 00:25:10,740 --> 00:25:12,648 So profound, cousin. 434 00:25:12,650 --> 00:25:15,278 Occupational hazard. It's like a reflex now. 435 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:16,868 You want some breakfast? 436 00:25:16,870 --> 00:25:18,658 Oh, God, yes. 437 00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:21,040 The shit I get served downstairs. 438 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,578 Um, I have a concern I wish your help with. 439 00:25:25,580 --> 00:25:27,538 Anything. 440 00:25:27,540 --> 00:25:28,998 The empress. 441 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,378 I'm worried something she said to Orlo could be taken the wrong way. 442 00:25:32,380 --> 00:25:34,309 What did she say? 443 00:25:34,311 --> 00:25:38,258 She expressed some unhappiness with the emperor. 444 00:25:38,260 --> 00:25:42,728 Orlo may exaggerate the situation to enlarge himself at court. 445 00:25:42,730 --> 00:25:44,437 Be to your detriment if he did, 446 00:25:44,439 --> 00:25:46,648 as you're the author of her presence. 447 00:25:46,650 --> 00:25:50,108 I had a vision from God. I do not resile from it. 448 00:25:50,110 --> 00:25:52,610 In Catherine's defense, perhaps Orlo tried to rape her. 449 00:25:58,780 --> 00:26:00,158 To rape her? 450 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,288 He is a man who famously lacks the skills to see his desires met. 451 00:26:04,290 --> 00:26:06,540 Fuck a man up. Don't you agree? 452 00:26:07,670 --> 00:26:10,670 If you need a defense, that could be one, that's all I'm saying. 453 00:26:12,420 --> 00:26:14,168 I will deal with it. 454 00:26:14,170 --> 00:26:15,928 Thank you. 455 00:26:15,930 --> 00:26:17,838 Aah! 456 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:19,600 My gift. 457 00:26:25,390 --> 00:26:26,440 Orlo! 458 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,948 No, please. Please do not speak to me. I beg you. 459 00:26:36,950 --> 00:26:38,408 Help me with the coup. 460 00:26:38,410 --> 00:26:42,238 - Oh, my God, you cannot say that word. - Why? It's just a word. 461 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,620 But it does excite the mind, does it not? 462 00:26:46,580 --> 00:26:48,498 Here's my plan. 463 00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:52,548 You and I will create a philosophy and plan for my regime, 464 00:26:52,550 --> 00:26:55,508 one that will inspire others to act 465 00:26:55,510 --> 00:26:57,678 and be a blueprint for my reign. 466 00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,798 - Your... - My reign. 467 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:03,848 When we create a strong, vibrant Russia, 468 00:27:03,850 --> 00:27:08,808 alive with ideas, humane and progressive, 469 00:27:08,810 --> 00:27:13,108 and here people live with dignity and purpose. 470 00:27:13,110 --> 00:27:15,028 - In Russia? - Indeed. 471 00:27:15,030 --> 00:27:17,068 Huzzah. 472 00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:18,608 Do you want to die? 473 00:27:18,610 --> 00:27:21,698 I am indifferent. I certainly do not want to live like this. 474 00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:24,698 You'll get used to it, and I know it looks bad, 475 00:27:24,700 --> 00:27:26,578 but we make progress. 476 00:27:26,580 --> 00:27:29,998 At the moment, we have an issue over the free will of beard-wearing. 477 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,748 - I feel if... - Beards? 478 00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:34,380 No. I have no time to waste and neither do the people. 479 00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:36,840 Are you in? 480 00:27:37,670 --> 00:27:39,468 I cannot join for the simple reason 481 00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:40,632 you have already proved yourself 482 00:27:40,634 --> 00:27:42,758 incapable of executing it successfully. 483 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,470 - How? - You chose me. 484 00:27:47,390 --> 00:27:50,018 - You are... - A civil servant. 485 00:27:50,020 --> 00:27:51,940 - A coward. - I don't believe you. 486 00:27:52,900 --> 00:27:54,650 You are not a coward. 487 00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:57,400 I know you different. 488 00:27:58,570 --> 00:28:02,568 When we talk of ideas and humanity, 489 00:28:02,570 --> 00:28:05,120 I see a light ablaze in you. 490 00:28:07,250 --> 00:28:08,830 You don't know me at all. 491 00:28:09,910 --> 00:28:12,578 You married badly. I'm, I'm sorry you made a mistake. 492 00:28:12,580 --> 00:28:15,248 Don't drag me and Russia into it. 493 00:28:15,250 --> 00:28:18,878 Russia and I are married to the same man. It is the same thing. 494 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,428 You are an angry, mad person, so you will forgive me if I say no. 495 00:28:22,430 --> 00:28:25,218 And you must promise me never to speak of this to anyone else. 496 00:28:25,220 --> 00:28:27,770 I beg you, for your own sake. 497 00:28:29,100 --> 00:28:31,478 And will you speak of it? 498 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,188 Or will you take it to Peter? 499 00:28:33,190 --> 00:28:37,150 It is something I am forgetting as I walk away from you. Good day. 500 00:28:51,290 --> 00:28:54,578 As we hunt, we shall discuss whether or not to kill the empress. 501 00:28:54,580 --> 00:28:57,548 What? Sir, no, no. She is a, a radiant presence. 502 00:28:57,550 --> 00:28:59,798 She is shimmering, a godsend. 503 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,798 She is a misery at court, made fun of the ladies' wig hats, 504 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,008 and is a strange creature who I sense is, at times, laughing at me. 505 00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:08,218 I was thinking a small carriage accident, 506 00:29:08,220 --> 00:29:11,308 a suitable period of mourning, and onward to a new choice. 507 00:29:11,310 --> 00:29:12,598 Archie, you will not be involved, 508 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,898 as you were abysmally fucking wrong, and tell that to God. 509 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:17,398 Emperor, she's going through some transition. 510 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,978 We should help her with compassionate... 511 00:29:18,980 --> 00:29:21,438 Shut the fuck up. Orlo, thoughts. 512 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:22,738 I think not, sir. 513 00:29:22,740 --> 00:29:25,318 It would look bad in Europe and be whispered at court. 514 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,328 No one at court likes her, except apparently you disloyal fucks. 515 00:29:28,330 --> 00:29:30,998 Go, all of you. George and Grigor stay. 516 00:29:33,830 --> 00:29:36,248 Mother lit up when Father walked into a room. 517 00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:37,991 I could kill her and start again. 518 00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:39,458 Why is no one excited by this idea? 519 00:29:39,460 --> 00:29:40,508 Orlo's right. 520 00:29:40,510 --> 00:29:43,928 It would look like a failure in court, and in Europe... 521 00:29:43,930 --> 00:29:45,928 that you could not keep your woman happy. 522 00:29:45,930 --> 00:29:47,598 He is the emperor. 523 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,657 You, of course, may kill her if you wish. 524 00:29:49,659 --> 00:29:51,044 She will be forgotten about in weeks. 525 00:29:51,046 --> 00:29:53,046 Finally, some loyalty. 526 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,278 Between us, I thought her and I might be as you two, 527 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,648 a perfect union. 528 00:30:03,650 --> 00:30:04,898 Perhaps she could be. 529 00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:06,488 Why give up now? 530 00:30:06,490 --> 00:30:10,618 She may be all you need, as George is to me. 531 00:30:10,620 --> 00:30:12,998 I suspect I will always need more, 532 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,368 as I am a person who always needs more. 533 00:30:15,370 --> 00:30:17,212 It seems to me, all you really want 534 00:30:17,214 --> 00:30:18,958 is for her to be more cheerful in court 535 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,498 and to bear you an heir, that is all you want from a wife. 536 00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:24,718 Yes. Yes, and she does not provide it. 537 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,298 Grigor, 538 00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:28,800 you never told me how tricky this marriage business is. 539 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,928 Until one is in it, one cannot imagine. 540 00:30:32,930 --> 00:30:34,768 Hmm. 541 00:30:34,770 --> 00:30:36,688 I sometimes feel that 542 00:30:36,690 --> 00:30:38,688 due to our political differences, 543 00:30:38,690 --> 00:30:42,688 I perhaps do not offer you the spiritual counsel that you need. 544 00:30:42,690 --> 00:30:44,358 This is my flaw. 545 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,108 I am fine for counsel, but thank you. 546 00:30:47,110 --> 00:30:50,448 And if you're seeking flaws, I could also make a list of yours 547 00:30:50,450 --> 00:30:53,578 - if it would aid you. - How kind. 548 00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:56,578 I see you occasionally huddled with the empress 549 00:30:56,580 --> 00:30:58,628 and wonder if you're trying to butt-fuck her. 550 00:30:58,630 --> 00:31:00,208 Hmm. 551 00:31:00,210 --> 00:31:03,248 As flustered as a freshly raped novice, Orlo. 552 00:31:03,250 --> 00:31:05,258 No, I am not. 553 00:31:05,260 --> 00:31:08,298 She is my friend in literature, that is all. 554 00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:12,058 Let us go back and ask the emperor, see what he makes of it. 555 00:31:12,060 --> 00:31:14,138 He seems in a forgiving mood. 556 00:31:14,140 --> 00:31:17,688 And perhaps remind him your vision brought her here. 557 00:31:17,690 --> 00:31:20,858 God is right in all things. 558 00:31:23,530 --> 00:31:25,818 But she is upsetting him, 559 00:31:25,820 --> 00:31:28,280 when I hoped being married would settle him. 560 00:31:29,700 --> 00:31:33,158 You and I are men of power, and I'm sure would like to remain so. 561 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,498 We have that much in common. 562 00:31:35,500 --> 00:31:38,538 Do not take advantage of her unhappiness. 563 00:31:38,540 --> 00:31:39,960 I am not. 564 00:31:40,790 --> 00:31:43,668 You must offer her counsel, 565 00:31:43,670 --> 00:31:46,878 lead her to a safe path, for all of us. 566 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:51,178 - So I believe you ask a favor? - Hmm. 567 00:31:51,180 --> 00:31:54,008 I've always said you're the smartest man in the kingdom. 568 00:31:54,010 --> 00:31:55,928 She is smarter than I hoped, 569 00:31:55,930 --> 00:31:59,438 but we will manage, and you will help me. 570 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,228 You just have to try and control everyone, don't you? 571 00:32:02,230 --> 00:32:06,528 I must do God's will, and he often wants us all to not be as we are. 572 00:32:09,150 --> 00:32:12,240 And in exchange, you will help me with Rostov's beard. 573 00:32:16,870 --> 00:32:19,458 I thought perhaps he really wanted her dead. 574 00:32:19,460 --> 00:32:21,418 He lashes out if he feels alone. 575 00:32:21,420 --> 00:32:25,038 Such insight. You know him so well. 576 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,920 Do not scratch at me. 577 00:32:51,110 --> 00:32:53,778 I'm killing her, a carriage accident later in the week. 578 00:32:53,780 --> 00:32:56,450 You must decide how to make it work with Europe and the court. 579 00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:59,540 Shit. 580 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,060 Hello? 581 00:33:30,990 --> 00:33:32,490 Come here. 582 00:33:33,740 --> 00:33:36,620 Oh. Wow. 583 00:33:41,910 --> 00:33:45,078 Look what those shits have done to my house. 584 00:33:58,510 --> 00:34:01,888 Trespassing. That is not yours anymore. 585 00:34:01,890 --> 00:34:05,188 - Guards. - You're really doing this then? 586 00:34:05,190 --> 00:34:07,268 It will help you adjust to your place. 587 00:34:07,270 --> 00:34:09,728 Think of it as an act of friendship. 588 00:34:09,730 --> 00:34:12,028 Let us make it worth it then! 589 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,128 Yes. Yes. I knew you would see reason, Orlo. 590 00:34:34,130 --> 00:34:37,758 I have not. I come to you to help you see reason. 591 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,138 Your obvious unhappiness endangers you. 592 00:34:40,140 --> 00:34:42,810 - In what way? - He will kill you. 593 00:34:46,690 --> 00:34:47,690 Marial! 594 00:34:50,570 --> 00:34:52,818 Uh, you wanted something, Empress? 595 00:34:52,820 --> 00:34:54,344 Where is Marial? 596 00:34:54,346 --> 00:34:57,435 She's... not here. Um, but she will be, 597 00:34:57,437 --> 00:34:59,368 - at an unknown time... - You are lying, 598 00:34:59,370 --> 00:35:01,618 which is both out of character and really annoying. 599 00:35:01,620 --> 00:35:02,738 Take me to her. 600 00:35:14,090 --> 00:35:15,970 Adieu. 601 00:35:23,060 --> 00:35:25,388 Vlad, you will look worse than me when I am done with you. 602 00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:27,058 She will not touch you, Vlad. 603 00:35:27,060 --> 00:35:29,058 He wants me to touch him. Don't you, Vlad? 604 00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:30,730 Um... uh... 605 00:35:34,190 --> 00:35:37,148 - What happened? - I forgot my place. 606 00:35:37,150 --> 00:35:39,198 - Who? - It does not matter. 607 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,198 My nature and my station collided, that is all. 608 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:44,788 No one has the right to do this. 609 00:35:44,790 --> 00:35:48,620 Technically untrue. I am property, not a person. 610 00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:52,100 Give me a few minutes and I will be out to dress you for dinner. 611 00:35:53,750 --> 00:35:56,668 What has happened? Are you all right? 612 00:35:56,670 --> 00:35:58,258 I did not realize I would be having so many guests. 613 00:35:58,260 --> 00:36:00,798 - I would have had tea brought down. - Who did this? 614 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,808 She will not say. Lady Svenska, perhaps. 615 00:36:03,810 --> 00:36:06,058 It was not her. 616 00:36:06,060 --> 00:36:07,558 I have a job to do. 617 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,728 I am ready. Let us go, Empress. 618 00:36:13,730 --> 00:36:16,568 Empress, I had a vision from God this afternoon. 619 00:36:16,570 --> 00:36:17,940 Oh, he does that. 620 00:36:19,990 --> 00:36:22,160 I came to Marial to pass it to you. 621 00:36:22,950 --> 00:36:26,408 Knives were raining down from the clouds, 622 00:36:26,410 --> 00:36:28,248 headed for your soft skin. 623 00:36:28,250 --> 00:36:31,288 And you smiled, and they all disappeared 624 00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:33,078 and became flower petals, 625 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,420 floating gently down. 626 00:36:36,210 --> 00:36:38,258 Everyone wants me to be happy, 627 00:36:38,260 --> 00:36:40,170 now even God. 628 00:36:41,380 --> 00:36:44,350 God's love... is all. 629 00:37:18,130 --> 00:37:19,920 I am training them. 630 00:37:27,220 --> 00:37:29,718 They do not all make the journey to a new land. 631 00:37:31,100 --> 00:37:33,020 My dear, sit. 632 00:37:34,770 --> 00:37:36,438 And let's talk of how you are. 633 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,438 I'm quite well. Note my smiling face. 634 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,990 I do. Has Emperor Peter had something to do with this? 635 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:48,448 - He has been sweet. - Oh. At heart, that is him. 636 00:37:48,450 --> 00:37:52,498 You know, as a young boy, Peter would run to his mother, 637 00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:56,498 holding aloft a picture he'd drawn or a boat fashioned from leaves, 638 00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:59,798 his eyes and words begging for approbation, 639 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,628 for love. 640 00:38:01,630 --> 00:38:04,798 And she would level a gaze at him and hold him in it, 641 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:08,008 and he would fall silent and go so still. 642 00:38:08,010 --> 00:38:10,468 And then tears would run from his eyes, 643 00:38:10,470 --> 00:38:13,728 and his whole body would begin shaking uncontrollably, 644 00:38:13,730 --> 00:38:16,648 and urine would pool at his feet. 645 00:38:16,650 --> 00:38:19,358 - Hmm. - It was a curious phenomenon. 646 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,438 Why would she do that? 647 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,068 Everyone has their thing. 648 00:38:23,070 --> 00:38:25,608 Hers was cruelty. 649 00:38:25,610 --> 00:38:28,118 So I'm asking for some forgiveness, 650 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:32,370 some empathy, from one I can tell is filled with both. 651 00:38:39,340 --> 00:38:41,588 That is amazing. 652 00:38:41,590 --> 00:38:43,300 Indeed. 653 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,008 Aah, stop. Stop. Get back here. 654 00:38:50,010 --> 00:38:52,640 - Aah. - Good evening, husband. 655 00:38:53,430 --> 00:38:55,098 Empress. 656 00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:57,558 You look marvelous. 657 00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,978 And your skirt, 658 00:38:59,980 --> 00:39:02,358 - it is very pretty. - Thanks. 659 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,568 It also allows one's cock to swing free in the air. 660 00:39:05,570 --> 00:39:07,988 Marvelous. Old Madam Bolzoi whipped it up. 661 00:39:07,990 --> 00:39:10,068 It is genius. 662 00:39:10,070 --> 00:39:13,118 I apologize if I have been of sour face lately. 663 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,958 I had my blood in, and you know how that goes. Rrrr. 664 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,418 Oh, right. I see. Well, that explains much. 665 00:39:20,420 --> 00:39:22,048 But I feel much restored. 666 00:39:22,050 --> 00:39:24,548 What is the nature of this stunning banquet? 667 00:39:24,550 --> 00:39:26,218 We are honoring some of our wounded, 668 00:39:26,220 --> 00:39:28,798 who finally won a battle for us against Sweden. 669 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:30,848 Poor fucking guys. 670 00:39:30,850 --> 00:39:32,928 No eyes, that one. 671 00:39:32,930 --> 00:39:36,138 To never see a naked woman or a deer in full fucking fight again. 672 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:38,978 Still, he may fuck ugly women and be happy now. 673 00:39:38,980 --> 00:39:41,560 Huzzah. 674 00:39:43,150 --> 00:39:45,360 - Let us dance. - Ooh. 675 00:39:53,790 --> 00:39:56,078 You're an exceptional dancer. 676 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,460 The secret is to imagine your feet have wings on them. 677 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,978 Orlo, you virgin. Pretend to mount your own hand. 678 00:40:19,770 --> 00:40:21,558 Brilliant! 679 00:40:23,570 --> 00:40:26,068 George, do the thing. 680 00:40:26,070 --> 00:40:28,988 Watch this. It is marvelous. 681 00:40:32,410 --> 00:40:33,950 - Huzzah! - Huzzah! 682 00:40:37,250 --> 00:40:40,328 Whoo! Ah! 683 00:40:40,330 --> 00:40:43,080 Ah! Cake! Cake! 684 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:45,710 Ah! Thank you! 685 00:40:46,710 --> 00:40:49,128 Ah, rich! 686 00:40:49,130 --> 00:40:52,048 He will suffocate, yet die the happiest of men. 687 00:40:57,430 --> 00:41:00,728 To the men who died in battle. 688 00:41:00,730 --> 00:41:03,978 To those who returned without all their fucking limbs. 689 00:41:03,980 --> 00:41:05,108 Huzzah! 690 00:41:05,110 --> 00:41:06,938 Huzzah! 691 00:41:10,150 --> 00:41:12,948 - Oh. That was delicious. - Mm. 692 00:41:12,950 --> 00:41:14,568 I agree entirely. 693 00:41:14,570 --> 00:41:17,038 I knew we had things in common. Good taste. 694 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,948 And our prettiness. 695 00:41:18,950 --> 00:41:20,498 Hmm. 696 00:41:25,130 --> 00:41:27,248 Bring in those Swedish heads. 697 00:41:27,250 --> 00:41:29,420 We will eat dessert under their beady gaze. 698 00:41:40,020 --> 00:41:41,560 Hmm. 699 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,148 Mmm. 700 00:41:48,150 --> 00:41:50,740 Fucking lemoniest of lemon. Extraordinary. 701 00:41:52,990 --> 00:41:55,908 Would you like mine? It matches your hair. 702 00:41:55,910 --> 00:41:57,408 Hmm. 703 00:41:57,410 --> 00:41:59,450 Indeed. 704 00:42:07,250 --> 00:42:09,710 It is happy to be happy together, is it not? 705 00:42:10,670 --> 00:42:12,628 It is marvelous. 706 00:42:12,630 --> 00:42:14,428 You are marvelous. 707 00:42:14,430 --> 00:42:17,548 You gave me a bear and have ceased punching me. 708 00:42:17,550 --> 00:42:19,678 What woman would not be happy? 709 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,218 - Huzzah. - Huzzah. 710 00:42:21,220 --> 00:42:22,220 Hmm. 711 00:42:25,230 --> 00:42:27,400 I feel we are being stared at. 712 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,110 I believe we are. 713 00:42:33,820 --> 00:42:35,778 You rude fucker. 714 00:42:35,780 --> 00:42:37,070 Hmm? 715 00:42:44,460 --> 00:42:47,960 Everyone, poke their fucking eyes out. 716 00:43:20,030 --> 00:43:21,240 Huzzah. 717 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:25,876 To be true to my heart, apparently, 718 00:43:25,878 --> 00:43:28,458 I must be disingenuous with my face. 719 00:43:28,460 --> 00:43:30,288 It is the way for all of us. 720 00:43:30,290 --> 00:43:33,338 It is not a crime to lie to others, 721 00:43:33,340 --> 00:43:35,550 just to lie to one's self. 722 00:43:36,470 --> 00:43:40,468 Very profound. It is very fucking unpleasant to me. 723 00:43:40,470 --> 00:43:43,308 Hmm. You perhaps thought the taking of an empire would be effortless. 724 00:43:43,310 --> 00:43:47,478 - I do not like your tone. - Why? It contains the prick of truth. 725 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,438 Yes, that is exactly why. 726 00:43:51,310 --> 00:43:53,438 Are you sore? 727 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,690 The emperor requests entrance. 728 00:44:31,900 --> 00:44:34,768 Thank you and have a pleasant night, husband. 729 00:44:34,770 --> 00:44:36,530 Right. You, too. 730 00:44:37,490 --> 00:44:39,148 Was good, huh? 731 00:44:39,150 --> 00:44:41,028 Indeed. 732 00:44:41,030 --> 00:44:42,240 Indeed. 733 00:44:43,530 --> 00:44:45,450 Okay. Good. 734 00:44:46,540 --> 00:44:47,540 Indeed. 735 00:44:55,550 --> 00:44:57,008 Empress. 736 00:44:57,010 --> 00:44:59,008 What a life you live, Orlo. 737 00:44:59,010 --> 00:45:02,508 You will not get your cock wet or your knife bloody 738 00:45:02,510 --> 00:45:04,348 or your heart even pumping, 739 00:45:04,350 --> 00:45:08,268 but you will perform like a cock-pumping circus for him. 740 00:45:08,270 --> 00:45:11,268 These books, these ideas, 741 00:45:11,270 --> 00:45:13,808 as dead on your shelves as you are inside. 742 00:45:13,810 --> 00:45:16,518 They are poetry, not reality. 743 00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:20,278 Would you not like to see a strong, vibrant Russia, 744 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,198 alive with ideas, humane and progressive, 745 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,528 where people live with dignity and purpose? 746 00:45:25,530 --> 00:45:27,118 I would. 747 00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,828 And a talking pig, and a dog that cooks omelets. 748 00:45:30,830 --> 00:45:33,540 But I suspect I will die disappointed. 749 00:45:34,380 --> 00:45:38,628 Well, there's an aspiration, to die disappointed. 750 00:45:38,630 --> 00:45:41,298 Good luck with that. I suspect you will make it. 751 00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:43,198 Empress, I have looked at the situation 752 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,680 and at what I can achieve within reason. 753 00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,926 What's the point in believing in something 754 00:45:48,928 --> 00:45:50,928 if you will not act for it? 755 00:45:50,930 --> 00:45:54,478 I, too, believe in reason, in a nation ruled by it. 756 00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:59,030 But I believe only action and passion will achieve it. 757 00:46:00,860 --> 00:46:03,608 I will not live my life on the sidelines, 758 00:46:03,610 --> 00:46:05,068 some half-hearted coward. 759 00:46:05,070 --> 00:46:08,278 I promised myself a great love. 760 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,498 That didn't work out. 761 00:46:10,500 --> 00:46:12,958 Then I realized... 762 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:16,628 it is a great life that I want. 763 00:46:16,630 --> 00:46:18,998 Everyone does that. 764 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:22,588 Then they grow up and realize that there are parameters. 765 00:46:22,590 --> 00:46:25,718 Treason is what we're discussing here, 766 00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:28,098 which could get you cut open, filled with baby rats, 767 00:46:28,100 --> 00:46:29,350 and then sewn back up. 768 00:46:30,390 --> 00:46:32,230 - I hate rats. - So do I. 769 00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:36,308 What else do you hate? 770 00:46:36,310 --> 00:46:38,398 I hate the war. 771 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,688 I hate the fucking state of my country. 772 00:46:41,690 --> 00:46:43,398 But this is Russia, 773 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,910 things change incrementally. 774 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:48,948 As I said, you'll get used to it. 775 00:46:48,950 --> 00:46:53,158 If I am ever used to it, I will not be me. 776 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:56,248 I make a difference, Empress. 777 00:46:56,250 --> 00:46:59,458 I spread ideas. I make progress. 778 00:46:59,460 --> 00:47:01,458 I understand. 779 00:47:01,460 --> 00:47:04,760 If you did this, you would be a different man. 780 00:47:07,300 --> 00:47:12,890 You would be a man who had been on fire all this time... 781 00:47:13,930 --> 00:47:17,098 but finally, one day, 782 00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:19,400 let himself take the lid off, 783 00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,938 and let the fire burn away the fear, 784 00:47:23,940 --> 00:47:26,818 and leave him raw and ready 785 00:47:26,820 --> 00:47:29,820 to do what it took to join hands with me. 786 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,250 And we would transform this country, 787 00:47:35,790 --> 00:47:39,250 and die, if needs be, in the process. 788 00:47:42,090 --> 00:47:45,048 But we would happily die, 789 00:47:45,050 --> 00:47:48,180 knowing we lived as we should. 790 00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,720 You would be that man. 791 00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:00,810 I can't. 792 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:06,280 I saw a small man and imagined something bigger. 793 00:48:07,820 --> 00:48:09,698 I apologize, sir. 794 00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:44,940 What will you do with them? 795 00:48:46,650 --> 00:48:48,150 Burn them. 796 00:48:59,210 --> 00:49:01,370 I need you to give these a Christian burial. 797 00:49:02,790 --> 00:49:04,790 I can only do a whole body. 798 00:49:10,050 --> 00:49:12,298 I could bless them. 799 00:49:18,060 --> 00:49:22,148 Grant rest eternal in blessed repose, O Lord, 800 00:49:22,150 --> 00:49:24,648 to Thy servant who's fallen asleep, 801 00:49:24,650 --> 00:49:27,438 and make their memory to be eternal. 802 00:49:41,870 --> 00:49:43,458 So I've decided not to kill her. 803 00:49:43,460 --> 00:49:45,208 She was full of happy japes. 804 00:49:45,210 --> 00:49:47,838 She explained her blood was in for weeks, apparently, 805 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,168 which was strange but may be an Austrian thing, 806 00:49:50,170 --> 00:49:52,590 so let us forgive her and give her another chance. 807 00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,890 Emperor, Count Rostov. 808 00:49:58,470 --> 00:50:01,938 Rostov, you still have a beaver on your face. What the fuck? 809 00:50:01,940 --> 00:50:05,188 Emperor, perhaps a gesture 810 00:50:05,190 --> 00:50:09,318 would be to make the having of beards an issue of free will. 811 00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:10,648 We've been talking. 812 00:50:10,650 --> 00:50:12,568 - Who's "we"? - All of us. 813 00:50:12,570 --> 00:50:15,318 Velementov, you explained it well. 814 00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:16,990 I, um... 815 00:50:17,950 --> 00:50:20,448 Perhaps an idea of, um... 816 00:50:20,450 --> 00:50:24,538 allowing people to choose would be a way to... 817 00:50:24,540 --> 00:50:27,088 express love, and, uh, 818 00:50:27,090 --> 00:50:29,960 share the strength of your leadership, and, um... 819 00:50:31,050 --> 00:50:33,008 our quest for modernity. 820 00:50:33,010 --> 00:50:37,008 They realize your wisdom and almost all happily honor it, 821 00:50:37,010 --> 00:50:39,178 while allowing some freedom. 822 00:50:39,180 --> 00:50:41,138 They love you more. 823 00:50:41,140 --> 00:50:45,308 And what if they all wear beards as an open "fuck you"? 824 00:50:45,310 --> 00:50:46,768 - They would not. - Of course they would not, 825 00:50:46,770 --> 00:50:48,728 for they love the emperor, 826 00:50:48,730 --> 00:50:51,148 but I agree with Grigor. 827 00:50:51,150 --> 00:50:53,948 It opens the door for the unhappiness 828 00:50:53,950 --> 00:50:56,608 to have a visual symbol of rebellion. 829 00:50:56,610 --> 00:51:00,158 - It's just a beard. - I just need dispensation, that is all. 830 00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:02,828 - My wife... - Shut up. 831 00:51:02,830 --> 00:51:05,458 What unhappiness? Archie? 832 00:51:05,460 --> 00:51:06,998 There is no unhappiness. 833 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,168 - None at all. - Mere hypothetics, I'm sure... 834 00:51:09,170 --> 00:51:11,880 They should all do as the emperor fucking says! 835 00:51:12,710 --> 00:51:15,378 His will is what we all must bend to. 836 00:51:15,380 --> 00:51:18,428 His wisdom. Why should some bend and not others? 837 00:51:18,430 --> 00:51:20,508 Hear. Hear. Now, now I think on it properly, 838 00:51:20,510 --> 00:51:22,428 this is a silly thing to ever consider. 839 00:51:22,430 --> 00:51:25,478 So the edict stands. Rostov, get rid of that fucking beard. 840 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,648 You cannot just force everyone to just bend to your will, 841 00:51:27,650 --> 00:51:30,858 for externally they will, but inside, simmering discontent will rise, 842 00:51:30,860 --> 00:51:33,230 and may spew forth. 843 00:51:37,700 --> 00:51:39,318 Are you yelling at me, Orlo? 844 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,330 Sir, you must win their minds. 845 00:51:47,870 --> 00:51:50,078 Sir. Sir, uh, 846 00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:53,128 we can move the country on and bring the people with us by choice, 847 00:51:53,130 --> 00:51:54,508 rather than force. 848 00:51:54,510 --> 00:51:56,798 - Free will is an important... - Emperor... 849 00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:58,678 Shut the fuck up, fatso. 850 00:52:05,060 --> 00:52:07,848 - Shave him. - What? 851 00:52:07,850 --> 00:52:10,398 Fucking shave him. 852 00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:13,570 Rostov, move, and you'll lose more than your beard. 853 00:52:15,690 --> 00:52:18,778 Of course, you have free will, you can refuse me. 854 00:52:18,780 --> 00:52:20,280 Go ahead. Make your choice. 855 00:52:21,410 --> 00:52:24,370 And then I will have free will to make my next choice. 856 00:52:36,460 --> 00:52:38,468 Um, water and soap. 857 00:52:38,470 --> 00:52:40,010 Just do it. 858 00:52:47,980 --> 00:52:50,480 Orlo, you fuck. 859 00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,160 It is Orlo. 860 00:55:15,469 --> 00:55:18,469 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.MY-SUBS.com -