1
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,514
[straining]
2
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,895
- Ah!
- Amazing!
3
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:22,272
I am indeed!
What's the score now?
4
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,983
427 to 309.
5
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:25,859
Whose is which?
6
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,277
I can't remember.
7
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,571
[laughing]
8
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:33,075
I love this. This is so fun!
We should have more fun.
9
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,243
Agreed!
10
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:37,371
Because fun is fun, and surprising.
11
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,581
Like you are surprising.
I had no idea you were fun.
12
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,166
Nor I you.
13
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,835
I always thought you were
a monstrous slut.
14
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:46,380
But now we see each other,
and it is dazzling and wonderful.
15
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,715
And what a time we have had!
And also--
16
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,300
Oh! Oh, my God.
17
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,844
I have so many thoughts
going on right now.
18
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,762
I can see it in your face.
19
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,139
I'm imagining bullets
exploding in your head.
20
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,224
That is what it is like!
21
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,767
Thankfully only in metaphor.
22
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,520
What if the Enlightenment was fun?
23
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,980
The ideas.
24
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,941
My mind just exploded.
25
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,234
It's brilliant!
26
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:11,321
The court see it as dull,
the peasants see it as unintelligible,
27
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,532
and the merchants-- who knows
what those greedy fucks think.
28
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,076
But if it was fun,
they may connect with it in a new way.
29
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,286
And they would see me as fun.
30
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,996
And they would not hate you.
31
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,415
They do not hate me.
32
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,375
I'm kidding with you!
33
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,003
Ahhhh!
34
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,838
- Fun!
- Ha, ha!
35
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,631
Drinks!
36
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,763
[sighs]
37
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:42,394
To be serious for a moment,
they do hate me out there.
38
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,022
There are peasants,
faces like squashed potatoes,
39
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,441
hating me, face-fucking dolls of me,
40
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,901
riled up by Pugachev.
41
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,694
- And do you know what?
- It scares you?
42
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:53,113
It makes me fucking hate them
43
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,782
and like I could boil them alive
in my rage.
44
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,825
Gosh!
45
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,203
But that is not a thought for today,
for today is fun.
46
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,329
[Georgina laughs]
47
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:01,496
Let us put our heads together.
48
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,210
Literal, but I love it.
49
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,961
This is my idea.
50
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,340
They are apparently
inventing a thing called a train.
51
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,843
We build one, we go to the region
Pugachev is in, and...
52
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,261
- Kill him?
- No!
53
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,222
That is what they want us to do.
54
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:21,183
We stop in every town, we play badminton,
55
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,393
and we discuss the Enlightenment,
56
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,145
as we do, in a fun way.
57
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,190
And then, you suck
one peasant's cock in each town
58
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,234
to show we feel they are not beneath us.
59
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,945
And I suck a peasant's cock?
60
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,863
I can do it, too.
We could take turns.
61
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:38,283
The train is the problem,
as it is not yet existing.
62
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,660
I see. I see.
63
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,788
What could we do today, in court, though?
64
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,749
Hmm, yes.
Today is more important.
65
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:48,126
What if we could have
a fun day at court?
66
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,337
A festival of plays, ideas.
67
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,505
Yes!
68
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:55,551
Everyone must tell jokes,
and dance, and...
69
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:59,221
fucking quote Voltaire backwards
and eat kumquats from each other's mouths!
70
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:00,681
We will call it...
71
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,016
something fucking good.
72
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,186
"The Festival of Truth, Jokes,
and Stunningly Clever Ideas"!
73
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,187
Love it!
74
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,189
I love how focused you are.
75
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,525
You only see the future
and what you need to do.
76
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,985
You are fucking amazing!
77
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:14,736
Why, thank you.
78
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,780
Look at me. I fucking love you!
79
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:17,865
You have changed me!
80
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:21,285
You have torn out the old George
and dumped her compliant body and mind
81
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:24,037
on the side of the road and made me new!
82
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,038
Hmm.
83
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,374
It's funny you once
ate my pussy, isn't it?
84
00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:29,918
I never think about it.
85
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,003
Me neither.
86
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,590
I need a fucking bath.
87
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,300
I smell like a peasant
who died of syphilis
88
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,093
and was buried in an ox in high summer.
89
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,970
I was thinking
exactly that about myself.
90
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:43,432
Then let us go bathe
and let the fun unleash.
91
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,935
It will be a marvelous lunch
that does not stop.
92
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,979
There will be games and music.
93
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:54,985
We will need birds, and a plinth,
and desserts, obviously, and...
94
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,987
♪ stately theme song playing ♪
95
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,543
Tea?
96
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,795
- Where's Georgina?
- I don't know.
97
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,923
I need you to help me with Madam Dymov.
98
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,634
You know there is
a sizzling attraction between her and I
99
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:19,968
that pulls at the bonds of our class
100
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,804
and one day will tear them
and our clothes apart
101
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,806
and we will have each other.
102
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,893
I'm a bit confused.
I was, um, I was dreaming.
103
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,103
And maybe I still am.
104
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,855
I need help tearing at the bonds.
105
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,941
W-What's she like? What gets to her?
106
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,401
I had a dream.
Where's George?
107
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,653
Oh, she's been gone all night.
108
00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:38,654
What?
109
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,491
I'm not dreaming, am I?
110
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:43,951
No.
111
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,787
W-What does she like?
Shall I casually expose a breast?
112
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,289
Um, what?
113
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,499
Georgina.
114
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,668
I was thinking I might bite her ear.
115
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:53,627
Thoughts?
116
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,673
George.
GEORGINA: Darling.
117
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:58,841
You may go, Petra.
118
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,968
I am at your whim. Any whim.
119
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,302
Information I already know.
120
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,974
- Where were you?
- With Catherine.
121
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,394
Is she all right?
D-D-Did she tell you?
122
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,604
She's fine. And she didn't.
123
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:16,567
Are you all right?
124
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,278
No, I'm not.
How am I gonna be without him? How?
125
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:21,530
- I d--
- Don't know?
126
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,074
Because you can't,
because I fucking can't be without him!
127
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,951
- I can't!
- Grigor, come here.
128
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,245
Don't you touch me. I'll dissolve.
129
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,082
What am I in this world without him?
130
00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,793
- He's--
- Everything.
131
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,378
I know.
132
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,381
I keep seeing us as kids in the halls.
133
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,757
Oh, Jesus.
134
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,138
You haven't told anyone, have you?
135
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,347
No.
136
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,016
Catherine is insane.
137
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:53,061
They will hate her
if she hasn't told them and they find out.
138
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,771
Indeed they will.
139
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,856
GRIGOR: Fuck.
140
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,526
Every time I sleep, I wake up unsure...
141
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,030
And then I remember the...
142
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,240
the icy water, his face.
143
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,076
God. I loved him.
144
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,621
I know.
145
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,833
I think maybe I should go
and see Catherine.
146
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,210
And I love you.
147
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,714
Whatever I do, it's for us.
148
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:22,674
Wait here a minute.
149
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,349
It's fucking real, isn't it?
150
00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:33,185
Yes, but it's all right.
151
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,228
I know what to do.
152
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,773
GRIGOR:
If I hadn't fucking told her. If I...
153
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:38,941
[sniffles]
154
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:40,943
Maybe I was disloyal.
155
00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:43,070
You weren't! You fucking loved him.
156
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,072
We were all happy until her.
157
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,281
Yeah.
158
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:48,700
He's dead.
159
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,995
The words are pounding my head in.
160
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,039
Drink your tea, though.
161
00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,506
What do we do?
162
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,549
You can sleep.
163
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,010
I need to see Marial.
[sniffles]
164
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,474
Careful, darling. You need to rest.
165
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,978
[dinnerware rattling]
166
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,730
Whoa.
167
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,946
- Is Peter dead?
- What the fuck?
168
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,155
You eavesdropping little bitch.
169
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,074
It's my job
to anticipate your every need.
170
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,993
Helps if I eavesdrop. Is he?
171
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,452
No.
172
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,079
He fucking is.
173
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,539
You can't utter a word.
174
00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:36,874
Shit.
175
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:40,419
I c-- Are you all right?
176
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,004
You loved him.
177
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:45,883
I was so jealous, hearing you moaning
under him as I brought him cake.
178
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:49,052
Petra, you need to keep your mouth shut.
179
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:54,016
- I'll pay you.
- I'm more of an experience-driven person.
180
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,226
Fine.
181
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,651
Yes?
182
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,487
That was really fucking nice.
183
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,573
I knew it would be.
184
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:10,824
We have a deal.
185
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,372
[groaning]
186
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,249
What the fuck?! George!
187
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:21,376
George!
188
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:24,254
Oh!
189
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,672
[groaning]
190
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:28,884
Fuck.
191
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,979
Leonora! I don't want to be in here.
192
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,815
And where is everyone?
And why aren't we working?
193
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,692
Is Russia suddenly running itself?
194
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,154
Well, if it is, it is no doubt
into a ditch, as that is its way.
195
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:52,991
So, let us not have that
on a day of fun and brilliance!
196
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,287
♪ balalaika playing ♪
197
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,624
Morning!
198
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,710
We are to have the funnest lunch today.
199
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,379
Ah, Archie!
200
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,421
Empress?
201
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,632
A joke! Everyone!
202
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:09,550
Um...
203
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:13,387
why was the lute teacher arrested?
204
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,139
For fingering a minor.
205
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,895
M-minor chord,
and a minor is a term for a--
206
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,063
Fuck me. Really?
207
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,731
[clicks tongue] Ah.
208
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,651
How do you circumcise a Georgian?
209
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,862
Kick his sister in the jaw.
210
00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:31,405
[all laughing]
211
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,408
Empress, we need to talk about Pugachev.
212
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,618
Smolny, a joke, immediately.
213
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,371
Uh, w-w-what do you call a man
who whistles when he speaks?
214
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:42,124
A cunt. And then you smash
his fucking teeth in,
215
00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:45,544
so the only sound he makes is a gulping
noise as he swallows his own blood.
216
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,421
[chuckles]
217
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,590
A fuckin' problematic human,
that Smolny.
218
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,925
A roaming, bathing Empress!
219
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,844
How marvelous!
220
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:56,305
Elizabeth, a joke!
221
00:09:56,305 --> 00:10:00,809
What's red and yet translucent,
covered in flowers, lives in the sea,
222
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:04,563
eats only plankton and anchovies,
speaks in tongues,
223
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,565
can change its color as it wills,
224
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:10,694
can disgorge poison from its eyes,
and makes a noise like a small flute?
225
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,739
Gosh. I don't know.
226
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:16,575
Neither do I,
but it will be wonderful when we find it.
227
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,368
[courtiers laughing]
228
00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:22,623
Onwards!
229
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:30,923
[gun cocks]
230
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:35,719
Bam! Bam-bam-bam-bam-bam! Bam!
231
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,979
They say he'll speak
in the hall at midday.
232
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,356
And then, bam-bam-bam!
233
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,775
Ugh! Put the fucking gun down, Maxim.
234
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:52,694
I'd love to do it,
a gesture of affection.
235
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,029
Sweet, but no.
236
00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:57,783
Or we do it together?
Get him in a crossfire situation.
237
00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,202
And then, bam, bam, bam!
238
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,495
Fucking hell.
239
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:05,624
It would be a fond memory, and we've not
done many couple things in our marriage.
240
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:08,460
I'm doing it.
241
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,338
You're waiting in the carriage.
242
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,674
What? It was my idea!
243
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,008
You heard me.
244
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,094
Unbelievable.
245
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:23,976
Marvelous.
246
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,936
Uh, what's going on?
247
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,437
We are to have the most fun lunch.
248
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:30,357
Elizabeth, we are to reinvent discourse
in a fun way,
249
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,985
wrapping ideas in joy and shiny paper.
250
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:34,278
Are you all right?
251
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:35,487
- You seem...
- Inspired.
252
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:38,198
And it is coursing through my veins.
253
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,701
Empress, we must discuss Pugachev.
254
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:44,830
I have begun negotiations,
and he's put some things on the table.
255
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,291
We shouldn't negotiate
with any terrorists
256
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,711
who were once sassy
but charismatic employees.
257
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,087
What?
258
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,965
She said we shouldn't
negotiate with terrorists.
259
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,675
Are you losing your hearing, Archie?
260
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,552
My father did, it was so annoying.
261
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:01,847
Every day, "Morning, Father.
I said morning!"
262
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:05,100
Is anyone else cold?
I feel freezing.
263
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,351
Good morning.
264
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,021
Oh. Sorry.
265
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:12,608
You can face me.
It is just an incredible, naked body.
266
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,194
Ah. Siberia.
267
00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:18,280
Petrov, three facts about Siberia,
and a joke.
268
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,325
It's cold. Really cold.
Unimaginably cold.
269
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,203
Uh, what is red
and not good for your teeth?
270
00:12:24,203 --> 00:12:25,287
A flying brick.
271
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:26,997
Oh, marvelous.
272
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,374
I found Pugachev.
Seemed important, hence the bursting in.
273
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,001
You what?
274
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,045
"Found Pugachev."
I believe that's what he said.
275
00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:34,463
Your hearing, Archie!
276
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:38,383
He's in Tekov.
Apparently, hiding out in a church.
277
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:41,762
The, uh... Outrageous.
278
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:45,766
There will be flagellations
and excommunications over this.
279
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:50,229
Interesting information,
but basically irrelevant,
280
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:51,480
as I have a deal brewing.
281
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,441
My people tell me he's rallying today.
I can have men there in four hours.
282
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:59,112
I think we have a plan
that does not involve bloodshed.
283
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,615
The Empress hates bloodshed.
284
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:04,368
Let's spare Russian lives, shall we?
285
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:05,369
Up to the Empress.
286
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,788
We have a few options, it's in our plan.
287
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,081
Plan?
288
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:11,166
Summary: We arrest him alive,
289
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:14,878
or bring his head home in a bag,
put it in a cannon, and let rip.
290
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,005
He has quite a militia,
so there'll be a bit of a battle.
291
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,382
Pointless bloodshed.
292
00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:20,050
He's raised an army, actually.
293
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,594
Apparently, he has a real turn of phrase.
294
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,888
Obviously, they're piling up
dead nobles like kindling.
295
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:28,058
In fact, quite often
using them for kindling,
296
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:30,227
which, considering the winter
we've been having,
297
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:32,020
has an efficient kind of logic.
298
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,789
[screams] You scared me!
[laughs]
299
00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,457
- Empress!
- Towel!
300
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,960
I cannot be wet
during an important discussion.
301
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,963
Elizabeth, the French should
pay their debts in art from now on.
302
00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,214
Make a note.
303
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:02,092
All out, while the Empress dresses.
304
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:03,135
Look at you both.
305
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,804
Inflamed with sick
and yet understandable desire
306
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:06,930
and pretending you are not.
307
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:10,058
I'm not pretending, I just wasn't sure
how vocal to be about it.
308
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,894
I have no feelings below the waist.
309
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:14,188
Thing is, time is important.
310
00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:17,191
I know where he is now,
might not tomorrow.
311
00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:20,319
Which is why negotiating
is the plan we are on,
312
00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:22,321
which does not have
a time pressure on it.
313
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,948
Unless of course you're a noble
they're about to set alight.
314
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,825
I clearly remember saying "out."
315
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,827
We'd also like to discuss
the Swedish campaign,
316
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,412
as no one in the military seemed to know.
317
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:32,372
Everyone's a bit, "What the fuck?"
318
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,000
So, love to catch up on that.
319
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,673
[groaning]
[crowd chuckling]
320
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:44,259
Win my favor, you have ten seconds.
321
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:49,389
Y-You're handsome and... pretty.
322
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,475
PUGACHEV:
Mm, just another word for handsome.
323
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:53,602
What do you want?
324
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:57,606
- Whatever you--
- Decide? Will? Whatever my whim?
325
00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:58,941
- Yes.
- Mm.
326
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,444
Raise up your clapping hands for Boris.
327
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,616
Thanks for coming up, Boris.
328
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,790
That is how she wants you to live.
329
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:18,168
She fucking hates Russians.
That's the hard truth of it.
330
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:19,628
[muttered agreement]
331
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:26,093
Yeah, I knew a woman...
332
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:29,930
beautiful, smart,
a-a fucking stick of fire
333
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,182
who could drink and spar with anyone,
334
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,726
born to fucking title
335
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:38,397
and they just took it from her.
336
00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:40,858
Yeah, suddenly she's covered in shit,
337
00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:45,988
lice, beatings, the odd cock at her face,
taking it from everyone.
338
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:50,242
And then, suddenly,
they yank her back up.
339
00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:53,245
"Oh, you please us, you can live."
340
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:56,748
Then, "No you can't,"
and they throw her back down!
341
00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:00,752
The joke is she imagines herself
an independent spirit.
342
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:03,338
[laughing]
343
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,840
She is fucking deluded.
344
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:07,301
She is a puppet.
345
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:11,555
She is what they made her.
346
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:15,517
A scared, angry woman,
347
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:19,563
desperate for approval
so she can take a free fucking breath.
348
00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:21,857
And I, for one, fucking love her.
349
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:23,525
For she does what we all do.
350
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:27,738
Who hasn't walked into a room wondering,
"What if I displease them?"
351
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:30,199
Or have done? Hmm?
352
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:34,119
And I aimed to change all that.
353
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,329
[murmured agreement]
354
00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:40,042
I, Peter, son of Peter the Great!
355
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,585
[cheering]
Ah!
356
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:46,340
You know what I was about to do?
357
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:49,676
I was about to change everything,
and she smelt it.
358
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,428
You know what I was about to do?
359
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:52,513
CROWD:
What?
360
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:54,848
I wanted to free all the serfs.
361
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,141
[cheering]
362
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,185
Yes. Yes.
363
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:02,272
And remove all taxes on the merchants.
364
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:03,899
[cheering]
365
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:07,861
Yeah, let people free.
Release us from our bonds.
366
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,490
Our brains are as fucking trapped
as our bodies, my friends!
367
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:12,533
[cheering]
368
00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,536
[chanting "Peter!"]
369
00:17:17,788 --> 00:17:18,997
Bring her out!
370
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,624
[chanting continues]
371
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,849
[cheering]
Aaaaah!
372
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:38,517
Who wants at it?
373
00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:40,853
[jeering, shouting]
374
00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:43,647
Yes! Ha, ha!
375
00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:51,864
[crowd chanting "Fuck her up!"]
376
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,839
Ah! Hello.
377
00:18:08,839 --> 00:18:12,593
- Oh, you are--
- Very enlivened and excited.
378
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:16,054
The Empress has a plan to reset the way
we talk about the Enlightenment,
379
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,724
to throw open the doors to dissent
and also satire.
380
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:19,892
And that's where you come in.
381
00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:22,519
Today, you put on your play!
382
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,146
I cannot.
383
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:25,898
I showed only you.
384
00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:27,858
It's treason!
385
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:32,863
[whispering] Very funny treason.
386
00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:34,281
Still treason.
387
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,532
I was angry when I wrote it.
388
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,492
I think you're being too harsh.
389
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:40,537
It is a gift, and you must unwrap it
and show it to the world.
390
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:41,455
I don't know, I--
391
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,790
Katya, are you a coward full of hot air
392
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,084
who will die wondering if she could have
made an impact on this earth?
393
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,587
- Jesus.
- You wanna lie
in your grave and think what?
394
00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:50,964
"I've tasted a few cocks,
I've taught a few girls,
395
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,843
and my true gift died
in my heart like a sparrow in a jar"?
396
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,053
- She will--
- She will love it.
397
00:18:56,053 --> 00:18:58,430
I have been with her all night.
We misjudge her.
398
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:01,433
She wants aggressive discourse.
She will fucking love it, and you.
399
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,268
And you will be the toast of these halls.
400
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:04,853
You will be seen!
401
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,855
You will be fucking Moliere with a pussy.
402
00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:08,732
[laughs]
403
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:11,693
Oh, I love that. Moliere with a pussy.
404
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:13,320
The toast of fucking Russia.
405
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:16,532
Get it ready.
406
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,085
So my question is,
how much art is enough?
407
00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:29,628
And do we need more museums?
408
00:19:29,628 --> 00:19:31,463
Which, of course, we do.
409
00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:34,633
I should tour the regions,
incognito, in a hat.
410
00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:36,510
Are you all right?
411
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:39,221
Oh, I'm great.
Excited about today.
412
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,223
Oh, something has come loose in you.
413
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,433
I'm...
414
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:48,856
I was the same whenever
Peter the Great went off to battle.
415
00:19:48,856 --> 00:19:50,858
Oh, I was quite unhinged.
416
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:53,652
I had all the doors removed
from the West Wing,
417
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:55,529
because I thought when he came back,
418
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:58,323
I would not have
the delay of opening doors.
419
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,784
Ah! Oh, and I couldn't sleep,
420
00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:04,037
and I took to swimming
hundreds of rounds of the lake,
421
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,456
until I would collapse on the bank,
422
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:10,335
breathless and riddled with cramps
and covered in leeches,
423
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,130
and they had to carry me
back to the palace.
424
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:14,214
Yes.
425
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:19,469
I think that might be it,
that I even imagined him dead.
426
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:20,846
I did that all the time.
427
00:20:20,846 --> 00:20:24,892
I would imagine him dead in battle,
on the road, oh, everywhere.
428
00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:25,934
It haunted me.
429
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,812
- Yes, but was not true.
- No!
430
00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:32,441
Your heart swirls
and clouds your mind, and it is the worst.
431
00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:33,984
Oh, yes.
432
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,820
Oh! It's why I'm so cold, I think.
433
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,073
- Oh.
- Ooh.
434
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,618
We must have fun.
Let's just have fun.
435
00:20:43,994 --> 00:20:45,204
What are you doing?
436
00:20:45,204 --> 00:20:46,872
We have a lunch.
437
00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:48,790
I put grapes in my hair.
Try one.
438
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,420
Tart, like you.
439
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,506
[Georgina laughs]
440
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:02,721
What the fuck?
We shouldn't negotiate with terrorists?
441
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,181
I thought we had a deal.
442
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:07,434
I can't be seen to support this,
then it would look like we're ganging up.
443
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,394
And your hands remain clean.
444
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:10,479
Something like that.
445
00:21:10,479 --> 00:21:14,525
If you want me to carry your water,
don't stab a hole in the bucket.
446
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:16,318
[softly] Archie, you need to end it.
447
00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:18,403
It seems to be getting out of hand.
448
00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:22,241
[courtiers murmuring in hallway]
449
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,244
♪ birds singing ♪
450
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,790
Now!
451
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:33,252
Welcome to the Festival of Fun,
Truth, and Mesmerizing Ideas.
452
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:34,169
Release the birds.
453
00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:37,506
[courtiers gasping]
454
00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:40,050
Let us set free our ideas
455
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:42,803
and kill the weak ones,
leaving only the best to fly.
456
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,473
[courtiers scream]
457
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:50,853
Also, realize,
this is a visual metaphor of that idea.
458
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:55,774
Everyone, a joke, because
it is also fun, this Enlightenment.
459
00:21:56,441 --> 00:22:01,947
Uh, a bear walks into a tavern
and says, "I'd like a...
460
00:22:02,906 --> 00:22:04,074
vodka."
461
00:22:04,074 --> 00:22:07,035
The barman says, "Why the big pause?"
462
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,203
"Born with them."
463
00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:09,705
[laughing]
464
00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:11,665
Adorable, and unexpected.
465
00:22:11,665 --> 00:22:16,837
Um, what does my ex-wife think about
when she's fucking her new lover?
466
00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:21,466
Hopefully, how much I miss her
and what a special thing we had.
467
00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:25,262
[murmuring]
468
00:22:25,262 --> 00:22:29,224
What's blue, cold, and good in bed?
469
00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:33,896
A dead peasant!
470
00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:35,355
[all laughing]
471
00:22:39,193 --> 00:22:40,485
GEORGINA:
Marco!
472
00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:42,404
COURTIERS:
Polo!
473
00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:48,118
- Marco!
- Polo!
474
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:49,453
[Georgina shrieks]
475
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:53,332
- Marco!
- Polo!
476
00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:55,626
Is she all right?
477
00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:57,336
Peter is at war.
478
00:22:57,336 --> 00:22:59,588
Fear manifests in strange ways.
479
00:22:59,588 --> 00:23:00,547
Marco!
480
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:03,175
This sudden friendship seems startling.
481
00:23:03,175 --> 00:23:04,384
Indeed.
482
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:06,011
GEORGINA: Marco!
COURTIERS: Polo!
483
00:23:06,011 --> 00:23:08,305
Why are you wearing
four seasons of clothing?
484
00:23:08,305 --> 00:23:12,351
Ugh, I'm very cold,
and all day I've grown colder.
485
00:23:12,351 --> 00:23:14,102
Have you seen Vinodel?
486
00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,230
It feels deeper than that.
487
00:23:16,230 --> 00:23:17,981
And not just fear.
488
00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:20,150
Ugh, I don't know what, though.
489
00:23:20,150 --> 00:23:23,070
Hmm, the body, what a thing.
490
00:23:23,070 --> 00:23:25,822
We do not have control
over our own carriage,
491
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:28,742
and it would run us into a ditch
at a moment's notice.
492
00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:30,827
You're right.
493
00:23:31,745 --> 00:23:35,207
The body has answers
before the mind knows the questions.
494
00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:38,627
It's the body's questions I hate,
to be honest.
495
00:23:38,627 --> 00:23:40,587
[courtiers laughing]
496
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:43,715
Marco!
497
00:23:43,715 --> 00:23:45,425
COURTIERS:
Polo!
498
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,262
Marco!
499
00:23:48,262 --> 00:23:49,346
COURTIERS:
Polo!
500
00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:51,390
[courtiers gasping]
501
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:54,935
Oh!
502
00:23:54,935 --> 00:23:56,979
I'm so sorry. Reflex.
503
00:23:56,979 --> 00:23:59,439
[giggling]
504
00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:03,527
[courtiers laughing timidly]
505
00:24:03,527 --> 00:24:04,945
[scattered applause]
506
00:24:04,945 --> 00:24:06,697
I guess I'm it.
507
00:24:15,122 --> 00:24:16,790
You do it? In the eye, like I said?
508
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,668
- Couldn't.
- What?
509
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:22,588
I listened to what he said,
and a lot of it...
510
00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:24,006
I fucking agree with.
511
00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:27,676
I'm here about to murder someone
who's done nothing to me,
512
00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:31,555
because I need the Empress
to like me or I'm fucked?
513
00:24:31,555 --> 00:24:33,932
Let's focus on the last half
of that sentence.
514
00:24:33,932 --> 00:24:37,186
The "you're fucked" bit, add me in,
make it we're fucked.
515
00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:38,729
Maxim, I'm not doing it.
516
00:24:38,729 --> 00:24:40,606
Marial, we had a plan.
517
00:24:40,606 --> 00:24:43,692
New plan, Archie's plan plays out.
518
00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:46,528
Archie will manage the whole thing
and we will slide out of it.
519
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,155
He is an expert at this.
520
00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:49,656
How very disappointing.
521
00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:52,701
[sighs] Let's go home.
522
00:24:53,452 --> 00:24:54,828
I have to pee.
523
00:24:54,828 --> 00:24:56,496
Why didn't you while I was in there?
524
00:24:56,496 --> 00:25:00,501
'Cause you said stay in the carriage,
and I am obviously, unlike you,
525
00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:03,128
the person in the partnership
whose word can be trusted.
526
00:25:10,302 --> 00:25:12,471
♪ playing classical music ♪
527
00:25:12,471 --> 00:25:15,224
Archie, we must put our heads together.
528
00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:18,519
I will begin negotiations
529
00:25:18,519 --> 00:25:22,231
and counsel against
the military's bloodthirsty madness.
530
00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,274
But what will make them not hate me?
531
00:25:24,274 --> 00:25:25,651
Show of strength.
532
00:25:26,902 --> 00:25:28,153
Are you lurking?
533
00:25:28,153 --> 00:25:30,280
I just have an instinct
for when I should be somewhere.
534
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,281
Always have.
535
00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:34,868
I once walked, not knowing why,
across two fields and a stream,
536
00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:36,995
stopped under a tree,
heard a rustling noise,
537
00:25:36,995 --> 00:25:39,915
looked up as a young girl fell,
caught her in my arms.
538
00:25:39,915 --> 00:25:41,166
Hmm, fascinating.
539
00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:42,417
- What was her name?
- Olga.
540
00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:44,419
- Hmm, what sort of tree?
- Oak.
541
00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:47,548
Can we agree to just negotiate
a peaceful settlement?
542
00:25:47,548 --> 00:25:48,841
It's not just him, though.
543
00:25:48,841 --> 00:25:50,717
It's the army of hate
that he's whipped up.
544
00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:54,179
Which dies with his disappearance
and presumed death.
545
00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:56,139
The opposite happened with Jesus.
546
00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:57,975
Good point. People love a martyr.
547
00:25:57,975 --> 00:25:59,268
Joan of Arc.
548
00:25:59,268 --> 00:26:02,020
My sisters and I dressed up like her
and set fire to ourselves.
549
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:03,230
Real fire?
550
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:04,815
Can we stop?
551
00:26:04,815 --> 00:26:06,984
Are you yelling because you're deaf?
552
00:26:06,984 --> 00:26:09,945
I... am not deaf.
553
00:26:11,321 --> 00:26:13,574
And I have the solution at hand.
554
00:26:13,574 --> 00:26:15,075
As do I.
555
00:26:15,075 --> 00:26:18,120
So Petrov creates a perimeter
from which he cannot escape,
556
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:21,582
Archie negotiates, and if it goes wrong,
Petrov unleashes war upon them,
557
00:26:21,582 --> 00:26:23,959
and if it goes right,
Petrov's men hand out rubles
558
00:26:23,959 --> 00:26:25,836
with my name on them to everyone.
559
00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:30,299
BOTH: Good plan.
560
00:26:31,133 --> 00:26:34,136
When you're out there
and the crowd looks up at you,
561
00:26:34,845 --> 00:26:37,931
this fucking energy force.
562
00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:40,267
Now, I've been in battle,
and you feel the energy
563
00:26:40,267 --> 00:26:43,896
like palpable fucking waves
of hate and fear.
564
00:26:44,855 --> 00:26:48,859
But this is fucking love,
and it tingles the fucking skin.
565
00:26:48,859 --> 00:26:52,529
And then, you know,
words and ideas come out of me
566
00:26:52,529 --> 00:26:56,575
I've never thought before,
and they're right and...
567
00:26:56,575 --> 00:26:57,784
true and...
568
00:26:58,202 --> 00:27:00,204
Fuck me!
569
00:27:00,704 --> 00:27:02,206
Jesus, that is good!
570
00:27:05,209 --> 00:27:06,502
You are marvelous!
571
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:18,180
I love you, Emperor Peter.
572
00:27:19,431 --> 00:27:22,643
Fucking love you, too.
Silky fucking mouth, well played.
573
00:27:27,564 --> 00:27:28,899
Pugachev, I presume.
574
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,861
No, I don't fuck little boys.
Rule of mine.
575
00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:36,532
Farewell, sir.
May your trip to hell be fast and fiery.
576
00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:37,533
Ooh!
577
00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:45,707
♪
578
00:27:51,213 --> 00:27:52,381
Driver! Go!
579
00:27:52,381 --> 00:27:54,633
- What the fuck, Maxim?
- I shot him dead.
580
00:27:54,633 --> 00:27:55,634
It was Maxim-esque!
581
00:27:55,634 --> 00:27:57,302
You're fucking joking!
582
00:27:57,302 --> 00:28:00,514
Sometimes the man must take control.
You, my dear, are welcome.
583
00:28:00,514 --> 00:28:02,599
Driver, go!
584
00:28:02,599 --> 00:28:04,601
[groaning]
585
00:28:12,442 --> 00:28:14,862
These fucking people.
586
00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:16,780
♪ intense music playing ♪
587
00:28:27,624 --> 00:28:30,878
Empress, Katya has written a play.
588
00:28:30,878 --> 00:28:32,671
Huzzah! I love a play!
589
00:28:32,671 --> 00:28:34,423
I'm not sure about this.
590
00:28:34,423 --> 00:28:37,384
- It will be fun!
- We don't know what it is.
591
00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:39,219
It's about you, that's all I know.
592
00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:41,471
Me? Huzzah.
593
00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:43,056
It will make them love me.
594
00:28:44,683 --> 00:28:46,101
Shall we have a play?
595
00:28:46,101 --> 00:28:48,187
[courtiers cheering]
596
00:28:50,564 --> 00:28:53,400
Once, we could not have
imagined ourselves writing plays.
597
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,694
Our gratitude to our Empress.
598
00:28:55,694 --> 00:28:57,112
[applause]
599
00:29:01,241 --> 00:29:02,993
[courtiers cheering]
600
00:29:05,704 --> 00:29:07,915
Peasant, I need a seat.
601
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:12,085
I have a story to tell.
602
00:29:12,085 --> 00:29:13,921
I'm the narrator.
603
00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:15,714
[blowing raspberries]
604
00:29:16,882 --> 00:29:20,636
On arriving in Russia...
605
00:29:20,636 --> 00:29:23,138
[courtiers gasping]
606
00:29:26,099 --> 00:29:27,809
Russia!
607
00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:31,563
It burns in my heart.
608
00:29:31,563 --> 00:29:34,441
I see its golden promise.
609
00:29:34,441 --> 00:29:36,777
Ah, my new wife.
610
00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:40,155
[Katya groans]
[courtiers gasp]
611
00:29:40,155 --> 00:29:42,157
[courtiers laughing]
612
00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:44,493
I bring the Enlightenment.
613
00:29:44,493 --> 00:29:45,786
And a silky mouth.
614
00:29:45,786 --> 00:29:48,789
Well done. Faster!
615
00:29:48,789 --> 00:29:50,666
KATYA:
Mm! Mm! Mm!
616
00:29:50,666 --> 00:29:52,459
Voltaire!
617
00:29:52,459 --> 00:29:54,294
Mm! Mm! Mm!
618
00:29:54,294 --> 00:29:55,629
Diderot!
619
00:29:55,629 --> 00:29:58,423
Mm! Mm! Mm!
620
00:29:58,423 --> 00:30:00,425
Montesquieu!
621
00:30:00,425 --> 00:30:01,593
COURTIERS:
Whooo!
622
00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:04,179
I just blew Montesquieu!
623
00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:06,139
[cheering and applause]
624
00:30:06,139 --> 00:30:07,683
Shall I stop it?
625
00:30:07,683 --> 00:30:09,101
It will look bad, but...
626
00:30:12,646 --> 00:30:17,401
I must take this land
and its poor trodden-on people.
627
00:30:17,901 --> 00:30:23,031
I will free the peasants,
and they will be grateful and love me.
628
00:30:24,074 --> 00:30:26,410
Ooh, who are you?
629
00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:28,829
Hello, I'm Leo.
630
00:30:28,829 --> 00:30:31,331
Have a peach and some light foreplay.
631
00:30:31,331 --> 00:30:32,666
[courtiers laughing]
632
00:30:32,666 --> 00:30:36,253
I'm Orlo, let's go change this land.
633
00:30:36,253 --> 00:30:37,629
KATYA:
Hmm.
634
00:30:37,629 --> 00:30:39,339
Let's do both.
635
00:30:39,339 --> 00:30:42,092
Rid this land and create a new one.
636
00:30:42,926 --> 00:30:44,261
I love you, Leo.
637
00:30:46,138 --> 00:30:47,848
[courtiers sigh]
638
00:30:47,848 --> 00:30:49,099
Well?
639
00:30:49,099 --> 00:30:51,393
[gun bonks]
COURTIERS: Ohhh!
640
00:30:51,393 --> 00:30:53,896
[laughter and scattered applause]
641
00:30:53,896 --> 00:30:56,565
- Can I take that?
- Of course.
642
00:30:56,565 --> 00:30:57,774
I love you.
643
00:30:58,692 --> 00:31:02,154
Put the crown on my head
and your tongue in my pussy.
644
00:31:02,154 --> 00:31:05,949
[courtiers exclaiming]
645
00:31:05,949 --> 00:31:08,827
[cheering and scattered applause]
646
00:31:20,130 --> 00:31:25,260
I crown me Catherine
of Much Unrealized Promise!
647
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:28,305
- [sighs]
- We have much to do.
648
00:31:28,305 --> 00:31:32,017
We shall need complete focus
and no resiling from our--
649
00:31:32,017 --> 00:31:34,019
Oh! Fuck yeah!
650
00:31:34,019 --> 00:31:35,812
Eat that pussy!
651
00:31:35,812 --> 00:31:37,481
Free those serfs!
652
00:31:41,276 --> 00:31:44,780
I am Catherine of Much Unrealized Promise,
653
00:31:44,780 --> 00:31:47,491
and I have come to save you.
654
00:31:47,491 --> 00:31:50,118
So thusly, be better!
655
00:31:50,118 --> 00:31:51,870
Huzzah.
[courtiers laughing]
656
00:31:51,870 --> 00:31:54,122
Read books, uh, agree with me,
657
00:31:54,122 --> 00:31:57,584
and wake up to the fact
you're shit, but...
658
00:31:57,584 --> 00:32:01,004
but noble at heart and ready to rise!
659
00:32:01,004 --> 00:32:04,007
[cheering and applause]
660
00:32:04,007 --> 00:32:07,511
I think we must
have more concrete plans.
661
00:32:07,511 --> 00:32:08,929
Who are you again?
662
00:32:08,929 --> 00:32:10,180
Orlo!
663
00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:12,432
[courtiers exclaiming, gasping]
664
00:32:12,432 --> 00:32:14,059
[gun bonks]
665
00:32:15,853 --> 00:32:17,479
KATYA:
Where did he go?
666
00:32:18,689 --> 00:32:19,815
To Russia!
667
00:32:20,399 --> 00:32:23,569
We ride to the future together!
668
00:32:24,736 --> 00:32:27,197
[courtiers laughing]
669
00:32:27,197 --> 00:32:29,074
[horse whinnying]
670
00:32:33,996 --> 00:32:35,831
[comical neighing]
671
00:32:35,831 --> 00:32:37,082
[snorting]
672
00:32:37,082 --> 00:32:40,127
[courtiers exclaiming suggestively]
673
00:32:44,339 --> 00:32:45,841
[contented whinny]
674
00:32:53,974 --> 00:32:55,642
[courtiers cheering]
675
00:32:55,642 --> 00:32:59,980
[Katya exclaiming erotically]
[horse nickering contentedly]
676
00:33:06,236 --> 00:33:10,157
Don't say "neigh," say "yaaaaay!"
677
00:33:10,157 --> 00:33:11,950
[horse snorts]
678
00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:13,952
[cheering and applause]
679
00:33:24,838 --> 00:33:26,381
[applause fades]
680
00:33:28,175 --> 00:33:29,968
[chair scrapes floor]
681
00:33:36,099 --> 00:33:38,894
Everyone, uh, dance!
682
00:33:38,894 --> 00:33:40,812
Until you throw up!
683
00:33:41,605 --> 00:33:43,190
Brilliant!
684
00:33:43,190 --> 00:33:46,235
No one may leave the dance floor
until they have.
685
00:33:46,235 --> 00:33:48,612
[softly] God, so...
686
00:33:48,612 --> 00:33:50,113
I feel a bit--
687
00:33:50,113 --> 00:33:51,823
COURTIERS: Ohhh!
688
00:33:52,533 --> 00:33:55,327
She said dance, you fuckers!
Dance!
689
00:33:56,620 --> 00:33:58,288
[horse whinnying]
690
00:33:59,206 --> 00:34:00,958
[groaning]
691
00:34:01,917 --> 00:34:03,710
Let me go!
692
00:34:03,710 --> 00:34:06,129
I'm very, very annoyed at you!
693
00:34:06,129 --> 00:34:07,256
Uggh!
694
00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:12,886
- All good?
- Quiet.
695
00:34:12,886 --> 00:34:14,429
Unlock it.
696
00:34:18,809 --> 00:34:23,021
And you, go downstairs and start telling
the servants about Peter.
697
00:34:23,021 --> 00:34:24,648
I'm telling now?
I thought I wasn't telling.
698
00:34:24,648 --> 00:34:25,732
Life evolves.
699
00:34:27,150 --> 00:34:29,695
- I might need something.
- How about I don't beat you?
700
00:34:29,695 --> 00:34:31,738
How about you do,
and I'm naked when you do it?
701
00:34:31,738 --> 00:34:33,866
Fine, just go.
702
00:34:48,380 --> 00:34:50,174
♪ classical music playing ♪
703
00:35:12,529 --> 00:35:14,615
- [Tatyana moaning]
- You're okay. You're okay.
704
00:35:14,615 --> 00:35:16,867
You're all right. It's all right.
It's okay.
705
00:35:16,867 --> 00:35:18,744
- Oh, fuck off!
- Tatyana, try and--
706
00:35:18,744 --> 00:35:19,620
I understand.
707
00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:21,830
Oh, best friends with the Empress!
708
00:35:21,830 --> 00:35:25,417
Always sucking up to the top,
that's fucking you.
709
00:35:25,417 --> 00:35:28,128
Rode Peter,
and now you'll ride Catherine.
710
00:35:28,128 --> 00:35:31,006
I just wanted to ask you if you'd heard
the rumor, but fuck off yourselves.
711
00:35:31,006 --> 00:35:32,508
- What rumor? George!
- No.
712
00:35:32,508 --> 00:35:33,884
Tell me. Ignore her.
713
00:35:34,593 --> 00:35:36,053
Something weird's going on, isn't it?
714
00:35:41,725 --> 00:35:45,103
There's a rumor
Peter died on the way to Sweden.
715
00:35:45,854 --> 00:35:47,856
- What?
- Died.
716
00:35:47,856 --> 00:35:49,399
Drowned or something.
717
00:35:49,399 --> 00:35:51,944
And she knows, and she won't tell us.
718
00:35:51,944 --> 00:35:54,363
- She is acting weird.
- Yeah.
719
00:35:54,363 --> 00:35:56,615
I don't know,
I just wondered if you'd heard it?
720
00:35:56,615 --> 00:35:58,283
- No.
- Right.
721
00:35:58,283 --> 00:36:00,369
Well, don't tell anyone,
because it could be bullshit.
722
00:36:00,369 --> 00:36:02,663
And she's not acting weird.
723
00:36:02,663 --> 00:36:05,415
The more you know her,
you realize she's mad.
724
00:36:05,415 --> 00:36:07,584
I'm actually a bit scared
of what she's capable of.
725
00:36:07,584 --> 00:36:09,086
Why wouldn't she tell us?
726
00:36:09,086 --> 00:36:12,172
Because maybe he didn't drown, Arkady.
Maybe she killed him.
727
00:36:12,172 --> 00:36:15,759
[scoffs]
He, he can't be fucking dead.
728
00:36:15,759 --> 00:36:17,928
Anyway, keep it between us.
I hate gossip!
729
00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:31,316
What's wrong with you two?
730
00:36:31,316 --> 00:36:32,651
I'm finding it quite fun.
731
00:36:32,651 --> 00:36:34,695
Have you heard what they're saying?
732
00:36:42,286 --> 00:36:44,288
♪ balalaika playing ♪
733
00:37:25,954 --> 00:37:27,122
Everything's spinning.
734
00:37:27,122 --> 00:37:28,332
I know.
735
00:37:31,502 --> 00:37:32,920
Fuck that Katya.
736
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,171
You need to kill her.
737
00:37:34,171 --> 00:37:36,924
- What?
- There are lines people can't cross.
738
00:37:36,924 --> 00:37:40,302
I won't allow it.
Cut her fucking head off before dessert.
739
00:37:40,302 --> 00:37:41,428
I...
740
00:37:43,055 --> 00:37:46,266
Remember the heads, when I first came?
741
00:37:46,266 --> 00:37:50,229
Catherine, she just attacked your rule
in a way you must react to.
742
00:37:50,229 --> 00:37:52,064
You can't allow people to degrade you.
743
00:37:52,064 --> 00:37:53,815
That's what Pugachev is doing.
744
00:37:53,815 --> 00:37:55,317
Not in your own court.
745
00:37:55,317 --> 00:37:57,194
You must smash back.
746
00:37:57,194 --> 00:37:59,488
I said they could tell the truth.
747
00:37:59,488 --> 00:38:02,282
The progressives would hate me,
feel I betrayed them.
748
00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:04,535
Hmm...
749
00:38:05,327 --> 00:38:06,495
Yes, I suppose they would.
750
00:38:07,538 --> 00:38:08,872
I hadn't seen that.
751
00:38:11,792 --> 00:38:13,544
You're so clever.
752
00:38:13,544 --> 00:38:15,712
Why you're the Empress, I guess.
753
00:38:17,923 --> 00:38:19,132
Why are you here?
754
00:38:20,342 --> 00:38:22,177
I'm here because I'm your friend.
755
00:38:23,345 --> 00:38:24,763
You weren't.
756
00:38:24,763 --> 00:38:25,931
I am now.
757
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:27,975
You see that, don't you?
758
00:38:32,187 --> 00:38:33,564
Yes.
759
00:38:38,735 --> 00:38:42,322
Other small problem is that...
760
00:38:42,322 --> 00:38:45,284
the rumor of Peter's death
is sweeping court.
761
00:38:47,870 --> 00:38:49,037
What?
762
00:38:49,037 --> 00:38:52,708
That he and his horse
fell through the ice on a lake,
763
00:38:52,708 --> 00:38:54,835
and he fucking drowned
764
00:38:55,794 --> 00:38:57,921
and you watched it
and have not told anyone.
765
00:39:00,799 --> 00:39:02,259
[softly] So...
766
00:39:03,677 --> 00:39:06,513
You need to stand up
and tell them that's a lie.
767
00:39:08,140 --> 00:39:09,641
Because it is, isn't it?
768
00:39:12,019 --> 00:39:15,898
♪ mournful music playing ♪
769
00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:29,620
No, it's not true.
770
00:39:29,620 --> 00:39:31,413
It's not true, it's not true.
771
00:39:31,955 --> 00:39:32,998
Hello.
772
00:39:32,998 --> 00:39:35,167
Oh, bad time?
773
00:39:35,626 --> 00:39:38,212
Let's just sign off on this.
774
00:39:38,212 --> 00:39:42,633
I beseech you,
which is a very big word for "end this."
775
00:39:42,633 --> 00:39:46,220
Agree to the one church,
and he will abandon his flock,
776
00:39:46,220 --> 00:39:47,471
leave the country.
777
00:39:47,471 --> 00:39:50,766
They have no one to follow,
wander back to us.
778
00:39:50,766 --> 00:39:52,309
Okay. Okay.
779
00:39:52,309 --> 00:39:53,477
Thank you, Archie.
780
00:39:53,477 --> 00:39:54,811
Lesson learned:
781
00:39:54,811 --> 00:39:56,897
Control is everything in Russia,
782
00:39:56,897 --> 00:39:58,941
and only the church
and the Empress have it.
783
00:40:00,192 --> 00:40:01,818
Do you believe in visions?
784
00:40:02,569 --> 00:40:04,905
Mm, it's part of the job.
785
00:40:08,408 --> 00:40:13,163
Something is rushing up at me,
and it will kill me if it gets here.
786
00:40:14,873 --> 00:40:16,208
Evening!
787
00:40:18,001 --> 00:40:20,504
I wouldn't just burst in
normally like this,
788
00:40:20,504 --> 00:40:24,591
as I believe manners are the fabric
that furnishes our society.
789
00:40:24,591 --> 00:40:28,345
However, when the biggest enemy
of the state, one Pugachev,
790
00:40:28,345 --> 00:40:31,431
has been gunned down
by the most stylish man in the kingdom,
791
00:40:31,431 --> 00:40:33,976
one Maxim Illyich Vaskovy,
792
00:40:33,976 --> 00:40:36,353
I believe a little leeway can be given.
793
00:40:37,062 --> 00:40:39,523
- You...
- Shot Pugachev.
794
00:40:39,523 --> 00:40:41,900
Oh, he begged for his life,
795
00:40:41,900 --> 00:40:45,737
but I just smiled wryly
and put one through his eye.
796
00:40:45,737 --> 00:40:47,489
So this fake Peter is dead.
797
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:49,741
[softly] Fucking hell.
798
00:40:50,492 --> 00:40:52,452
F-Fake Peter is dead.
799
00:40:52,452 --> 00:40:54,288
Very fucking dead.
800
00:40:54,288 --> 00:40:56,540
I lay this gift of loyalty at your feet.
801
00:40:56,540 --> 00:40:58,917
I think you will also enjoy
the view of my shoes
802
00:40:58,917 --> 00:41:00,711
when you bend down to pick it up.
803
00:41:01,628 --> 00:41:04,923
[sighs] Pugachev is dead.
804
00:41:04,923 --> 00:41:07,718
That Peter is dead.
805
00:41:07,718 --> 00:41:09,469
[sighs] Yes.
806
00:41:09,469 --> 00:41:11,263
Yes, now I understand.
807
00:41:12,598 --> 00:41:13,640
Maxim.
808
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,477
God has blessed me, Archie.
I think we all see that now.
809
00:41:18,937 --> 00:41:20,022
[sighs]
810
00:41:22,024 --> 00:41:23,859
♪ contemplative music playing ♪
811
00:41:32,868 --> 00:41:35,078
[gasps]
812
00:41:35,078 --> 00:41:36,622
No.
813
00:41:42,127 --> 00:41:44,171
Shit. You all right?
814
00:41:44,171 --> 00:41:45,672
I tried to open the door with my head.
815
00:41:45,672 --> 00:41:48,425
Right. What the fuck is going on?
Why are you locked in?
816
00:41:48,425 --> 00:41:50,093
Where have you been?
817
00:41:50,093 --> 00:41:52,095
I don't know. Marriage stuff.
818
00:41:52,095 --> 00:41:53,430
Right.
819
00:41:53,430 --> 00:41:54,932
What's happened?
820
00:41:54,932 --> 00:41:58,227
Peter was on a horse on the ice
821
00:41:58,227 --> 00:42:00,103
and he just fucking fell through.
822
00:42:01,939 --> 00:42:03,232
What?
823
00:42:03,232 --> 00:42:06,193
Because Hugo's a cunt,
and Peter the Great won't leave him alone,
824
00:42:06,193 --> 00:42:10,656
and I was disloyal but not really,
but he's dead, so I was something.
825
00:42:10,656 --> 00:42:12,366
It's not good
because it didn't work, what I did.
826
00:42:12,366 --> 00:42:13,617
What the fuck are you talking about?
827
00:42:13,617 --> 00:42:16,078
He was staring at me, and I reached out,
828
00:42:16,078 --> 00:42:18,372
and his horse dragged him down,
829
00:42:18,372 --> 00:42:23,877
and he looked sort of bewildered
and kind of fucked off, as well.
830
00:42:23,877 --> 00:42:26,129
Peter's-- What are you saying?
831
00:42:26,129 --> 00:42:27,464
That he's dead.
832
00:42:28,841 --> 00:42:30,509
My friend is dead.
833
00:42:32,928 --> 00:42:33,929
Fuck.
834
00:42:33,929 --> 00:42:35,138
Yeah.
835
00:42:35,931 --> 00:42:37,140
Fuck.
836
00:42:39,059 --> 00:42:40,102
And Catherine saw it?
837
00:42:40,102 --> 00:42:44,314
Yes, but she's mad, and she won't let me
tell anyone and says it didn't happen.
838
00:42:44,314 --> 00:42:45,858
It did, though?
839
00:42:45,858 --> 00:42:47,067
It did.
840
00:42:47,526 --> 00:42:49,111
I prefer it when I'm unconscious.
841
00:42:49,778 --> 00:42:51,613
Yeah, just rest, my darling.
842
00:42:53,532 --> 00:42:55,117
Just rest.
843
00:43:13,802 --> 00:43:15,804
[indistinct chatter]
844
00:43:20,350 --> 00:43:21,560
[Catherine clears throat]
845
00:43:22,436 --> 00:43:24,771
Katya, stand on the plinth.
846
00:43:31,445 --> 00:43:33,697
What a lolly of a play.
847
00:43:33,697 --> 00:43:36,742
How scathing of me and my failings.
848
00:43:37,242 --> 00:43:40,704
And how humorous to watch oneself
be fucked in the arse by a horse.
849
00:43:40,704 --> 00:43:43,832
[uncertain laughter]
850
00:43:43,832 --> 00:43:45,667
And how you all loved it.
851
00:43:46,335 --> 00:43:47,836
So, I had an idea.
852
00:43:47,836 --> 00:43:49,254
The regions should see it.
853
00:43:49,254 --> 00:43:51,256
They should?
854
00:43:51,256 --> 00:43:55,260
I've arranged for you to go to Siberia
for an extended writer's residency.
855
00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:56,803
Siberia?
856
00:43:56,803 --> 00:43:58,597
Take a coat and a hat! Huzzah!
857
00:43:58,597 --> 00:44:00,724
COURTIERS:
Huzzah!
858
00:44:00,724 --> 00:44:03,727
Also, there is a ridiculous rumor
sweeping the halls.
859
00:44:03,727 --> 00:44:05,103
That Peter is dead.
860
00:44:05,103 --> 00:44:07,314
And you are lying to us about it.
861
00:44:07,314 --> 00:44:08,690
He is not dead.
862
00:44:09,441 --> 00:44:11,276
Pugachev is dead.
863
00:44:11,944 --> 00:44:15,489
And since he was pretending to be Peter,
and Maxim killed him,
864
00:44:16,114 --> 00:44:18,992
then obviously
people have become confused.
865
00:44:19,535 --> 00:44:23,622
And so it's Pugachev
who is dead, not Peter.
866
00:44:24,206 --> 00:44:25,707
Pugachev, not Peter.
867
00:44:26,625 --> 00:44:27,751
Desserts?
868
00:44:28,335 --> 00:44:29,795
Peter's not dead?
869
00:44:29,795 --> 00:44:31,964
No. Desserts!
870
00:44:33,924 --> 00:44:36,885
[French accent] Empress,
I have a special delight tonight.
871
00:44:36,885 --> 00:44:37,928
Oh.
872
00:44:37,928 --> 00:44:40,973
Emperor Peter and I
have been working on salty dessert.
873
00:44:41,807 --> 00:44:43,851
I would like to unveil the first.
874
00:44:43,851 --> 00:44:48,981
A salted caramel mousse
with a nut praline, also thyme salted.
875
00:44:49,731 --> 00:44:51,024
He was very excited.
876
00:44:51,024 --> 00:44:53,485
It is a shame he is not here to see this.
877
00:44:58,740 --> 00:45:00,742
S-Salty.
878
00:45:01,535 --> 00:45:04,037
Did I tell you I am going
to try my salt on desserts?
879
00:45:04,037 --> 00:45:06,373
I have ordered Jean-Pierre to experiment.
880
00:45:06,915 --> 00:45:08,834
Madness, but brilliant.
881
00:45:12,254 --> 00:45:13,839
I'll send word when we're done.
882
00:45:14,339 --> 00:45:15,674
I love you.
883
00:45:15,674 --> 00:45:19,970
My whole fucking heart, and all my body,
and whatever ineffable spirit animates me.
884
00:45:20,762 --> 00:45:21,763
Everything.
885
00:45:24,558 --> 00:45:26,185
You must do the honor.
886
00:45:27,978 --> 00:45:30,689
I, I... hmm.
887
00:45:35,319 --> 00:45:36,904
JEAN-PIERRE:
Formidable, no?
888
00:45:52,127 --> 00:45:53,754
He's dead!
889
00:45:54,755 --> 00:45:57,257
He's fucking dead!
890
00:46:01,345 --> 00:46:03,096
[Grigor groaning]
891
00:46:11,563 --> 00:46:14,525
♪ angelic choir singing ♪
892
00:46:39,258 --> 00:46:42,261
♪ choir continues ♪
893
00:47:21,925 --> 00:47:24,928
♪ choir continues ♪