1 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:15,183 [On Fire by Andy Blunda] 2 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:20,646 - YOUR LOVE IS LIKE A RIVER 3 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:28,154 FLOWING THROUGH MY VEINS 4 00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:31,491 I CAN'T GET ENOUGH 5 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:35,328 I'M ON FIRE 6 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:39,665 WE'RE ON FIRE 7 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:46,005 OUR LOVE'S TOO MUCH 8 00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,313 - MM. - [sighs] 9 00:01:02,355 --> 00:01:03,689 - I COULD JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP. 10 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,149 - [laughs] 11 00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:10,696 - FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS, 12 00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:14,575 CHRIS AND I ARE REKINDLING OUR ROMANCE. 13 00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:17,078 THE ALONE TIME HAS REALLY REMINDED US 14 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:22,667 HOW SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT WE ARE TO EACH OTHER. 15 00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,669 - WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRING IT BACK AND FORTH. 16 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:27,004 YOU CAN LEAVE SOME STUFF HERE IF YOU WANT. 17 00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:29,674 - YEAH, I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT... 18 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,260 [chuckles] HAVING A LITTLE DRAWER 19 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:35,304 WITH A TOOTHBRUSH AND TOOTHPASTE AND UNDERWEAR. 20 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:36,973 - WELL, I MEAN-- 21 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,642 - HAVING TO SPLIT MY TIME BETWEEN THE GIRLS 22 00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:41,602 HAS BEEN REALLY DEVASTATING. 23 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:49,402 I FEEL LIKE MY HEART IS TORN IN HALF. 24 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,613 TO BE MAKING, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY VERY HAPPY. 25 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:53,865 - IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. 26 00:01:53,906 --> 00:02:00,413 I--I CAN'T BE IN LOVE WITH TWO WOMEN 27 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,457 MAYBE NOW IT'S TIME 28 00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:05,668 THAT THE THREE OF US SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT 29 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:10,381 WHAT EVERYONE WOULD REALLY LIKE THE RELATIONSHIP TO LOOK LIKE. 30 00:02:10,423 --> 00:02:15,678 - AND I'M SAYING THAT I WANT TO SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT. 31 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,223 AND THE THREE OF US CAN SIT DOWN AND HAVE A TALK. 32 00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:20,474 - OKAY. 33 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,310 I HAVE TO GO THOUGH, NOW. 34 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,686 I HAVE TO GO TEACH. - ALL RIGHT. 35 00:02:23,728 --> 00:02:25,354 - I WANT TO GET TOGETHER AND TALK 36 00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:29,025 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT CHRIS SO STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE. 37 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:34,071 BUT I'M SCARED TO GET TOGETHER AND TALK, AS I ALWAYS AM. 38 00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:45,708 - I SAW THE CONDOMS AND LUBE. 39 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,084 THAT'S IN YOUR BAG? - YEAH. 40 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:48,336 - YOU HAVE IT? - I'LL BRING ALL THE TOYS. 41 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,337 - OKAY. ALL THE TOY STUFF. 42 00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:50,338 - GREAT. 43 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,756 MICHAEL AND I ARE PACKING UP. 44 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:54,717 WE'RE GETTING READY FOR THIS BIG RETREAT 45 00:02:54,759 --> 00:03:00,640 WHERE WE TRY TO GET ALL OUR LOVERS TOGETHER 46 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,183 - AND I GOT--THE FLAGS ARE THERE. OKAY. COOL. 47 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,184 - YEAH, I GOT THE FLAGS. 48 00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,102 THANK YOU. FUN. 49 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,520 THIS GETAWAY IS SO EXCITING 50 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:09,774 BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BIG SEX PARTY 51 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:17,365 WITH ALL OUR NEW LOVERS AND SOME OF OUR OLD LOVERS, AS WELL. 52 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,283 - TZIPORAH. - HEY, HONEY. 53 00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:20,785 - THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF THIS GETAWAY 54 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:28,334 IS TO BOND ALL OF OUR LOVERS. 55 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,086 - HEY, HONEY. - GETTING PACKED UP? 56 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,421 - WE ARE. - HI. 57 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,715 - THE NEW PEOPLE HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH THESE EVENTS YET 58 00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:38,761 AND THEY'RE PRETTY EMOTIONALLY STRESSFUL, I'D SAY. 59 00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:44,350 - JESSE! - GOOD. 60 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:49,939 I'M THRILLED. GOOD, HONEY. 61 00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:51,315 I'M SO GLAD THAT HE'S WILLING 62 00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:55,361 TO STEP OUTSIDE OF HIS COMFORT ZONE AND SHOW UP. 63 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:09,166 - I'M REALLY STOKED YOU CAME, BRO. 64 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,544 - YEAH. - WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOU MIND? 65 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,713 - I--WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH JEN. 66 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,090 IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME THINKING ABOUT, 67 00:04:16,132 --> 00:04:17,925 LIKE, NOT GOING AND THEN, HER GOING. 68 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,344 UM, I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO GO TO THE SEX PARTY THOUGH. 69 00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,054 I JUST, LIKE, IT--I'VE GOT THIS BIG KNOT 70 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,180 IN MY STOMACH RIGHT NOW. 71 00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:29,103 - JESSE'S NEVER BEEN TO A PLAY PARTY. 72 00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:31,147 SO WE'LL SEE. 73 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,446 - I'VE REALLY GOTTA TALK TO MEGAN 74 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:41,991 AND I'VE GOT TO GET HER TO COME AROUND 75 00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:47,913 AND DISCUSS THE STATUS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP. 76 00:04:51,667 --> 00:05:00,843 - SO HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT? 77 00:05:00,885 --> 00:05:02,178 - [sighs] 78 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,764 YOU JUST, LIKE, TEXT ME, "OH, I'M GOING TO STAY OVER 79 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,433 AT LEIGH ANN'S AGAIN" AND, YOU KNOW-- 80 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,101 I DON'T KNOW, IT'S--LIKE, YOU HAVE NO DECENCY 81 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:12,188 TO BE, LIKE, OH, PLAN AHEAD, BY THE WAY, 82 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:15,608 AND LIKE, YOU KNOW, I'VE MADE PLANS FOR US. 83 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,776 YOU KNOW, YOU STAY A COUPLE NIGHTS HERE, 84 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,444 A COUPLE NIGHTS THERE WITHOUT ANY WARNING. 85 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:24,283 - YOU KNOW, HONESTLY, MEGAN, 86 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,410 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THAT'S REALLY WHAT THIS HINGES ON, MEGAN, 87 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:29,789 IS ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE? 88 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,417 CAN WE INVITE HER OVER TONIGHT 89 00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,294 AND SEE IF WE CAN FIND SOME COMMON GROUND 90 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:38,589 THAT WE CAN ALL BUILD ON? 91 00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:46,639 I WANT MY FAMILY BACK. 92 00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:51,227 I DEFINITELY HAVE TO THINK 93 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:54,480 ABOUT MEETING WITH CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN. 94 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:58,067 I KNOW HOW OUR CONVERSATIONS HAVE GONE IN THE PAST, 95 00:05:58,109 --> 00:05:59,402 SO I JUST HAVE TO TAKE A MOMENT 96 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:02,780 TO THINK IF I'M READY TO TALK ABOUT IT. 97 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,541 - WE'RE HERE. 98 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:14,542 - YAY! - HERE. 99 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:18,629 - WE MADE IT! - YES. 100 00:06:18,671 --> 00:06:22,049 - WE SURVIVED. 101 00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,176 FOR OUR BIG LOVERS' RETREAT. 102 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:28,013 - I REMEMBER THIS WALK. 103 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:31,684 I'VE BEEN HERE SO MANY TIMES 104 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,394 WITH A NEW GROUP OF PEOPLE. 105 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:34,770 - SO HERE WE ARE. - YAY. 106 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:35,771 - THIS IS HOME. - NICE. 107 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:40,609 - BEAUTIFUL. - YEAH. 108 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:41,902 - [laughing] - WHO GETS WHAT? 109 00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,779 - THERE'S ENOUGH ROOMS FOR EVERYONE TO BE SEPARATE, 110 00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:46,449 BUT, YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE POINT'S TO KIND OF FIGURE OUT 111 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,952 HOW TO SLEEP TOGETHER. 112 00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:51,954 - I'M A VERY LIGHT SLEEPER, AND I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SLEEP 113 00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:55,374 IN THE SAME PLACE WHERE PEOPLE 114 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,668 - YEAH, YEAH, I MEAN, YOU GUYS CAN SLEEP SEPARATE. 115 00:06:57,710 --> 00:07:02,131 WE'LL MISS YOU, THOUGH. - THANKS. 116 00:07:02,173 --> 00:07:04,008 - YEAH, I DON'T--I DON'T WANT TO PROMISE 117 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,009 ANYBODY ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. 118 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,135 [laughs] - THAT'S COOL. 119 00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:07,136 - OKAY. - THAT'LL JUST MAKE IT EASIER. 120 00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:08,137 - YEAH. - AND THEN IF WE DECIDE 121 00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:09,138 TO JOIN IN, WE CAN. - COOL. 122 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,139 WELL, YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS. - I DO. 123 00:07:10,181 --> 00:07:11,223 THANKS. - I LOVE YOU. 124 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,850 - I'LL SEE YOU IN A BIT. - YEAH, YEAH. 125 00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:14,018 - I LIKE MY OWN SPACE. 126 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,603 MICHAEL'S SUCH A LOUD SNORER 127 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,647 THAT I LITERALLY CAN'T SLEEP IN THE SAME VICINITY AS HIM. 128 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:22,651 - THIS IS NICE, OUR OWN LITTLE PRIVATE ROOM. 129 00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:26,780 THAT I'D LIKE TO HAVE A PLACE FOR HIM AND ME TO GO, 130 00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,908 SO WE CAN BE SECLUDED, IF HE NEEDS IT, 131 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:33,370 IF HE GETS TOO UPSET, OR HE STARTS REALLY REACTING. 132 00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:34,538 I WOULD HAVE BEEN SAD IF YOU DIDN'T. 133 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,539 - YEAH. 134 00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:42,046 I WANT TO BE WITH YOU. 135 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,422 AND I FELT LIKE GOING FOR A LITTLE WHILE-- 136 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:44,590 - WITHOUT ME? LEAVE ME HERE? 137 00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,425 - YEAH, I PROMISE, I WON'T, UM, 138 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,052 OBVIOUSLY BE WITH ANYBODY ELSE. 139 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,262 I MEAN, IT'S JUST, LIKE, WHAT EVERYBODY'S COMPLAINING ABOUT 140 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,223 TO ME IS BASICALLY WHAT WE'RE DOING RIGHT NOW, 141 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,225 IS ISOLATING OURSELVES AND HANGING OUT. 142 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,602 AND I DON'T MIND, BUT I DO HAVE A HUSBAND 143 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,521 AND, YOU KNOW, AND I NEED TO SPEND A LITTLE-- 144 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:02,441 SOME TIME WITH HIM, I THINK. 145 00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,401 I'M REALLY TORN RIGHT NOW, 146 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,278 BECAUSE IF I GO TO THIS PARTY WITHOUT JESSE, 147 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,571 HE'S GOING TO BE SUPER UPSET. 148 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,114 IF I DON'T GO TO THE PARTY, 149 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,449 TAHL'S GOING TO BE UPSET WITH ME, 150 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,243 SO I'M REALLY JUST KIND OF STUCK IN THE MIDDLE. 151 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:16,288 - I'M TRYING TO BE, YOU KNOW, AS POLY AS I CAN. 152 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,998 BUT I GOTTA TAKE BABY STEPS. 153 00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,295 - ISN'T THIS PLACE GREAT? 154 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,714 - YES. IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL HERE. 155 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,550 - RACHEL'S NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE, 156 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,468 SO I'M REALLY EXCITED TO SHOW HER AROUND. 157 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,845 NOW THAT SHE'S MOVING TO SAN DIEGO, 158 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:36,642 NOW I'M HOPING TO TALK WITH HER ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. 159 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,185 WHAT WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU? 160 00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:40,646 - I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE ONE-ON-ONE TIME 161 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,314 THAT YOU AND I--ALONE. 162 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,816 - MM-HMM. - YEAH. 163 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:47,194 - I KNOW THAT WE LOOKED AT HAVING THAT RELATIONSHIP 164 00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:50,698 WITH KAMALA AND EVEN PLAYING IN THREESOME AND-- 165 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:51,699 - YEAH. 166 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:54,702 - DO YOU NOT WANT TO, 167 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,912 - WITH HER AND ME, OR... 168 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,664 - I THINK, FOR NOW, I WOULD BE OKAY 169 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,457 WITH KIND OF LETTING THAT ONE GO. 170 00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:04,336 IT KIND OF CRASHED AND BURNED THE FIRST TIME. 171 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,548 - WHAT ABOUT--WHAT ABOUT IN, LIKE, IN THE SEX PARTY... 172 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,049 - YEAH. - YOU KNOW, AS WELL? 173 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:12,177 - OTHER THAN GROUP, YOU KNOW, SEX, AND THREESOMES AND THINGS, 174 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,055 WHAT DOES GOING DEEPER WITH ME MEAN TO YOU? 175 00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:16,140 LIKE, WHAT DOES-- - WELL, LIKE-- 176 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,224 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY THAT? 177 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:20,436 IS THERE ANY WAY THAT YOU WANT TO GO DEEPER 178 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,646 THAT GOING DEEPER WITH ME INVOLVE OTHERS? 179 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:26,942 - YOU KNOW, I STILL DO HAVE A WIFE. 180 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:30,821 - BUT THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION. 181 00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:38,912 - WELL, YOU KNOW, I--I MAINLY, YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A LOT 182 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:42,082 AND INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR WIFE, 183 00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:46,879 THAT THAT REALLY LEAVES US WITH NOT A LOT. 184 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,005 - I'M VERY AWARE. - YEAH. 185 00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:49,173 - I SEE IT ALL THE TIME 186 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,883 AND YOU CAN'T EVER BREAK AWAY FROM THAT 187 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,509 AND THAT'S A PROBLEM. 188 00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:55,804 I DON'T WANT IT TO ALWAYS HAVE TO BE A BIG POLY POD, YOU KNOW? 189 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,181 - MM-HMM. - I JUST WANT TO HAVE A POLY 190 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,807 BOYFRIEND SOMETIMES, TOO. - MM-HMM. 191 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,143 IT WOULD REALLY BE MORE LIKE ME, YOU KNOW, 192 00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:04,938 LIKE, HAVING A SEPARATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. 193 00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,190 - THAT'S STILL POLY. 194 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,360 THAT'S NOT NOT POLY. - WELL, YEAH IT IS, 195 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,695 THAT I HAVE MY LIFE SET UP, YOU KNOW? 196 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:12,696 I HAVE-- - BUT MAYBE THAT'S WHY 197 00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:14,323 YOU NEVER GO DEEPER WITH GIRLS. 198 00:10:14,365 --> 00:10:15,741 - MAYBE. YEAH. 199 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,785 YEAH. 200 00:10:26,377 --> 00:10:28,545 - DO YOU LIKE THIS COLOR? 201 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,964 - I DO, BUT I LIKE THE BLUE BETTER. 202 00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:32,257 - TODAY I'M MEETING WITH EMMA. 203 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,135 SHE HELPS ME PUT MY CLOTHING LINE TOGETHER. 204 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:36,804 - YEAH. THIS WOULD NEED TO BE DOUBLED. 205 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:40,766 - YEAH. - THIS IS GOOD. 206 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:45,354 SHE ACTUALLY HAS KNOWN CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN LONGER THAN ME. 207 00:10:45,396 --> 00:10:48,982 SO I THINK SHE WILL HAVE REALLY GOOD INSIGHT. 208 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:57,491 - HOW'S YOUR MOM? - UGH. 209 00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,159 AND I'VE DEFINITELY BEEN HAVING A HARD TIME 210 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:02,204 WITH NOT REALLY HAVING A SUPPORT SYSTEM THROUGH ALL OF THIS, 211 00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:06,291 SINCE MY FAMILY DOESN'T REALLY AGREE WITH MY RELATIONSHIP. 212 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,626 YOU KNOW, CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN 213 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:12,548 HAVE BEEN LIKE THE ONLY FAMILY THIS LAST THREE YEARS, 214 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,550 I WAS JUST LIKE, OH, MAYBE I REALLY HAVE TO THINK 215 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:17,219 ABOUT WHAT IS MY FUTURE GOING TO LOOK LIKE, YOU KNOW? 216 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:20,139 - WELL, HAVE YOU TALKED TO THEM? 217 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,975 - [sighs] - WHERE IS EVERYTHING TODAY, 218 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,477 - CHRIS HAS BEEN GOING BACK AND FORTH. 219 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:28,897 I JUST DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THE GIRL ON THE SIDE. 220 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:31,567 - WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. 221 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,651 - YEAH. 222 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:36,655 EMMA IS VERY GOOD WITH TOUGH LOVE. 223 00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:39,199 - SHE IS NO BULLSHIT AND WILL CALL YOU OUT. 224 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:42,703 - IN A PERFECT WORLD, WHAT DO YOU WANT? 225 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,455 - I WANT CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN TO MAKE A COMMITMENT 226 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:48,625 AND I DON'T THINK THAT'S SOMETHING 227 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,544 SHE WANTS TO BE THE WIFE AND-- 228 00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:55,841 - BUT YOU WANT TO BE THE WIFE, TOO. 229 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,135 I FEEL LIKE I HAVE EQUAL... 230 00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:01,972 - SAY? - SAY. 231 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:03,932 MY QUESTION IS, LIKE, ARE WE, LIKE, 232 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:07,060 GOING TO KEEP GOING FOREVER. 233 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,061 - IN A YEAR. 234 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,229 I WANT TO KNOW THAT 235 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:15,027 IF I'M PUTTING A LOT INTO A FUTURE 236 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,779 - I'VE KNOWN CHRIS AND LEIGH ANN A REALLY LONG TIME. 237 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:20,783 I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THEM TO EXPERIMENT. 238 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,410 I REMEMBER WHEN YOU CAME INTO THE RELATIONSHIP. 239 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,995 - MM-HMM. - AND I REMEMBER 240 00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,872 HOW GREAT IT WAS. 241 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:29,708 AND THEN I REMEMBER ABOUT A YEAR INTO IT, 242 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:35,047 LEIGH ANN SAYING TO ME, "WOW. 243 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,424 "BEFORE THIS STARTED, BECAUSE NOW I'M IN A POSITION 244 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,468 "WHERE I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE 245 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,553 "THAT I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH, 246 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:48,185 "AND I SHOULD HAVE, AS A MARRIED WOMAN, WITH MY HUSBAND, 247 00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:54,024 I DON'T KNOW THAT LEIGH ANN WAS EXPECTING 248 00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:56,652 ON A PERMANENT BASIS. - MM-HMM. 249 00:12:56,693 --> 00:13:00,447 I'M KIND OF SHOCKED THAT LEIGH ANN WASN'T HONEST WITH ME, 250 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,367 BUT I THINK THAT I HAVE ALWAYS FELT THAT. 251 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:07,287 MAYBE IF SHE WAS HONEST FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, 252 00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:11,124 I WOULDN'T BE HERE TODAY. 253 00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,960 WHEN YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION, DO YOU SAY WHAT YOU THINK, 254 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,212 OR DO YOU SAY WHAT CHRIS WANTS TO HEAR? 255 00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:22,135 AND I DON'T KNOW THAT CHRIS 256 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,512 - IT'S HARD. - TO HAVE TWO PEOPLE 257 00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:26,265 THAT LOVE HIM AND CATER TO HIS EVERY NEED. 258 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,100 CHRIS IS CHRIS' PRIORITY, 259 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,602 SO WHATEVER HE CAN DO TO MAINTAIN HIS HAPPINESS, 260 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:31,603 HE'S GONNA DO. 261 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,188 AND YOU AND LEIGH ANN, 262 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:35,274 YOU MAKE SURE THAT CHRIS IS HAPPY, 263 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,151 WITH YOUR OWN SELF JUST PUSHED BY THE WAYSIDE. 264 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:40,654 I THINK YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF. 265 00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:42,322 YOU CAN'T JUST RUN AWAY, YOU KNOW? 266 00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:43,448 - I KNOW. 267 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,741 - YOU HAVE TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO THEM. 268 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:50,539 YOU HAVE TO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY HOW YOU FEEL, 269 00:13:50,581 --> 00:13:52,207 - EMMA IS DEFINITELY RIGHT. 270 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:55,294 I THINK IT'S TIME I TALK TO THEM ABOUT HOW I FEEL 271 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,671 AND WHAT I NEED AND WHAT I WANT MOVING FORWARD. 272 00:13:57,713 --> 00:13:59,673 - MWAH. BYE. - BYE. 273 00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:01,633 - I'M DEFINITELY PREPARED TO SAY 274 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,302 THAT I'M LOOKING FOR EQUALITY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. 275 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,317 - IN THE SEVEN YEARS THAT I'VE BEEN DOING PLAY PARTIES, 276 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:22,279 I'VE FOUND THAT HAVING A PRE-PARTY CONVERSATION 277 00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,406 TO SET INTENTIONS IS ESSENTIAL, 278 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:28,327 AND SINCE WE HAVE A NUMBER OF NEW PEOPLE, 279 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,038 WE WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT THEIR BOUNDARIES ARE, 280 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,206 SO THAT WE AVOID HAVING BREAKDOWNS, 281 00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,000 AND WE INCREASE THE BREAKTHROUGH. 282 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,376 I NEED TO KNOW IF SOMEBODY'S LIKE, 283 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,962 "LOOK, I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS TO SLEEP TOGETHER." 284 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:42,341 IF YOU WANT TO JUST SAY, I'M A RED LIGHT TO THAT PERSON-- 285 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,676 SLEEPING WITH THAT PERSON OR MAYBE I'M A YELLOW, 286 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,762 WHICH MEANS GO SLOW, OR GREEN. 287 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:47,846 YOU KNOW, IT'S TOTALLY COOL. 288 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,556 JASON AND I HAD A CHECK-IN 289 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:54,770 AND I'M HAPPY TO SAY THAT HE'S A FREE AGENT 290 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,188 - WITH OTHER PEOPLE IN THE POD. 291 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,814 HOW ABOUT FOR YOU, JESSE? 292 00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:01,193 - UM...YOU KNOW, I'M NOT COMFORTABLE 293 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,986 WITH JEN BEING SEXUAL 294 00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:06,198 OR REALLY SENSUAL WITH ANY GUYS EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, TAHL. 295 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,326 WOMEN, I GUESS I'M OKAY WITH, 296 00:15:09,368 --> 00:15:10,494 I'VE NEVER BEEN. I HAVE TO KIND OF HAVE TO 297 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,495 FEEL OUT THE SITUATION. 298 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:12,579 I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. 299 00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:17,250 - YOU GUYS CAN STAY TOGETHER ALL NIGHT, 300 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,835 YOU STILL OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITY 301 00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,588 OF HER COMING WITHOUT YOU? 302 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,174 - I MEAN, IT'S--IT'S NOT REALLY MY CHOICE TO MAKE, YOU KNOW. 303 00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:27,302 I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE HER FAMILY. 304 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,971 LIKE, IT'S NOT REALLY MY CALL. 305 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,472 - IT'S AWESOME THAT YOU CAME UP HERE 306 00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:32,099 AND YEAH, I'D WANT JENNIFER 307 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,809 TO REALLY RESPECT JESSE'S BOUNDARIES. 308 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:38,397 - SOUNDS GOOD. - YEAH. 309 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,900 AND THE RED LIGHT'S WITH SEXUALLY PLAYING WITH RACHEL 310 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:46,196 MAINLY BECAUSE I'M NOT 100% COMFORTABLE YET 311 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:48,490 - AND THE BOUNDARY WAS, YOU KNOW, NO SEX, 312 00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:50,784 AND IF YOU AND I ARE GOING TO CUDDLE OR KISS, THAT'S OKAY. 313 00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:54,705 - I'VE NOT CONNECTED WITH RACHEL YET SEXUALLY. 314 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,206 WE KIND OF HAVE THAT INCOMPLETE, 315 00:15:56,248 --> 00:16:01,044 AND IT'D BE NICE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN US TONIGHT. 316 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:07,217 IT'S KIND OF MY INTENTION. - [apprehensive sigh] 317 00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:08,677 I DIDN'T REALLY CARE TO REVISIT. 318 00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:11,555 I DON'T REALLY NEED TO HAVE A SECOND TIME 319 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:12,556 THAT THAT DOESN'T WORK OUT. 320 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:13,598 THAT I'D LIKE TO EXPLORE 321 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,642 SOME OTHER PEOPLE TONIGHT. - UH-HUH. 322 00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:18,311 - AND NOT REALLY REVISIT THE THREESOME WITH YOU. 323 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:20,647 - MICHAEL AND I HAVE A TOTAL INCLUSION. 324 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:24,067 EVERYONE WE'RE PLAYING WITH IS ALWAYS BEEN I'M INCLUDED, 325 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,569 AND FOR YOU TO SAY YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE 326 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,988 DOING A THREE-WAY WITH ME IS LIKE SAYING YOU'RE EXCLUDING ME 327 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:33,035 AND I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT. 328 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,120 I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY WITH HER, 329 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,706 BUT IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY WITH ME, 330 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:40,500 SHE AT LEAST NEEDS TO KNOW THE RULES OF A PLAY PARTY 331 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:43,754 IS THAT MY HUSBAND AND I ALWAYS INCLUDE EACH OTHER. 332 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,255 - [sighs] 333 00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:49,301 - OKAY, OUR LOVERS ARE GONNA BE HERE SOON, SO LET'S GO DO IT. 334 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,180 SO IT'S TIME TO GET READY FOR THE PLAY PARTY. 335 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:56,975 WE'VE GOT TO SET THE ROOM, THEN DRESS UP AND CHANGE. 336 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,518 - THAT'S REALLY CUTE. - ISN'T IT CUTE? 337 00:16:58,560 --> 00:16:59,728 - YEAH. - I LOVE THAT. 338 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:01,104 - IT'S REALLY CUTE. HERE, WILL YOU TIE THAT? 339 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:05,650 - WANT ME TO TIE IT? YEAH. 340 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:11,490 - SO LOOK, I REALLY WANT JESSE TO GO TO THIS PARTY 341 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,825 SO I THINK MAYBE IF I PUT ON SOME LINGERIE 342 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:17,287 AND SHOW HIM WHAT I WOULD WEAR TO THIS PARTY, 343 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:19,164 all: HEY! 344 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,582 - BRO', HOW'S IT GOING? 345 00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,751 - AS WE'RE GETTING READY, OUR OTHER LOVERS SHOW UP. 346 00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:24,252 ROXANNE'S MY GIRLFRIEND. 347 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,005 LAST YEAR, I WAS REALLY POSSESSIVE, 348 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,841 BUT I LEARNED HOW TO SHARE HER WITH MICHAEL 349 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:33,720 AND NOW I'M EXCITED TO SHARE HER WITH OUR NEW LOVERS. 350 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,847 YOU GUYS EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT? - STROKE, STROKE. 351 00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,182 - YEAH. - EXCELLENT. 352 00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,611 - CHRIS CALLED ME EARLIER 353 00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:53,156 AND SAID THAT MEGAN'S READY FOR US ALL THREE 354 00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:56,701 I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING 355 00:17:56,743 --> 00:18:03,959 AND THE MORE I'VE DONE, THE MORE I'VE REALIZED THAT TONIGHT 356 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,338 BY COMING CLEAN ABOUT MY BIGGEST FEAR ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. 357 00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,719 [sighs] 358 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:23,645 [knocks on door] - GOT IT? 359 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:26,231 - YEAH. 360 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:29,276 HEY. - HI. 361 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,572 - GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 362 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,282 COME ON IN. - WHERE'S MEGAN? 363 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,992 - UM, GETTING READY. 364 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,118 WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN, HONEY? 365 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,411 - HI. 366 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,453 - I HAVE-- - HELLO. 367 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:46,918 - OH, SHE'S HERE. 368 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,129 - IF MEGAN AND LEIGH ANN AREN'T GOING TO WORK IT OUT, 369 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,881 CLEARLY IT'S NOT GONNA WORK, 370 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:54,092 AND I DON'T KNOW YET WHAT THAT MEANS FOR ME. 371 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,093 - OH, TO-- - I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE TENSE, 372 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,094 BUT... - TO WHAT? 373 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,095 LIKE, WHAT ARE WE TOASTING TO? 374 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,221 - THE THREE OF US BACK IN A ROOM. 375 00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,307 I DON'T KNOW. HONEST CONVERSATION? 376 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,809 I'M REALLY HOPING THAT EVERYONE COMES TO THE TABLE TONIGHT 377 00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:05,812 IN A MOOD TO BE HONEST AND OPEN. 378 00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:10,692 I REALLY WANTED THE TWO OF YOU TO SIT DOWN HERE WITH ME. 379 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:13,653 I DON'T BELIEVE THAT I IMAGINED 380 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:16,573 HOW HAPPY THE THREE OF US WERE, AT ONE POINT. 381 00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:19,659 - YOU KNOW, I CAN REFLECT ON THE PAST AND YOU KNOW, YEAH. 382 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:20,952 WE HAD AMAZING TIMES AND STUFF, 383 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:24,873 BUT I THINK A LOT--OUR PROBLEM 384 00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:26,708 WHAT DOES OUR FUTURE LOOK LIKE MOVING FORWARD, 385 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,376 BECAUSE WE DIDN'T REALLY, LIKE, HAVE A PLAN. 386 00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:29,502 WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT THINGS. 387 00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:30,837 WE DIDN'T SCHEDULE THINGS. 388 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,547 - I ABSOLUTELY AGREE-- - WE KNOW HOW TO-- 389 00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,799 - THERE HAS TO BE SCHEDULING. 390 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,468 THERE HAS TO BE SOME RULES. 391 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,345 THERE HAS TO BE SOME BOUNDARIES. 392 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:42,057 AND THAT'S WHERE THIS GOT FUCKED UP. 393 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:47,854 - I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS WHOLE TIME, I WANT TO WORK IT OUT. 394 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:51,942 - I'M VERY MUCH, LIKE, LOOKING VERY MUCH IN THE FUTURE 395 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:56,529 AND, YOU KNOW, I WANT TO FEEL LIKE I'M AN EQUAL. 396 00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,198 THAT I'M A PRIORITY. 397 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,952 - YOU KNOW, HONEY, AS LONG--AS MUCH 398 00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:05,163 AS I'VE WANTED TO GIVE THAT TO YOU... 399 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,874 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GIVE YOU 400 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,459 EQUAL RIGHTS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. 401 00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,381 - WELL, I'M GOING TO BE HONEST. 402 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,757 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S YOUR CHOICE ANYMORE. 403 00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:19,135 YOU KNOW, I GOTTA TELL YOU. 404 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:22,138 CAN I CUT HER OUT OF MY LIFE NOW? 405 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,140 NOW THAT YOU'RE COMING AROUND AND SAYING, 406 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,685 YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU CAN REALLY SHARE? 407 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:32,190 I DON'T KNOW THAT I CAN. 408 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:35,026 AN IMPORTANT PLACE IN OUR FAMILY. 409 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:43,493 - THIS IS THE PART 410 00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:48,665 AND I TOTALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. 411 00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:52,752 HOW SERIOUS YOU WERE GONNA GET 412 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:55,588 AND WE WERE GONNA GET IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. 413 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:58,216 LIKE, IT WAS REALLY NOT WHAT I WANTED. 414 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:04,472 THAT'S WHERE MY FEAR AND MY BOUNDARY, LIKE, CAME IN 415 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:08,518 AND I WAS AFRAID TO SAY THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED. 416 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,440 AND I HOPED THAT, LIKE, OVER TIME, 417 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:16,484 LIKE, I WOULD GROW TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT, 418 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:21,740 BUT THE TRUTH IS, IS I GREW FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY 419 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:27,078 - I MEAN, IT'S NOT THE EASIEST THING TO HEAR, 420 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,331 BUT I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN SCARED TO SAY THAT 421 00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:31,458 FOR A VERY LONG TIME. 422 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:40,342 AND I THINK, AS HARD AS IT IS--LIKE, YOU'RE CRYING NOW, 423 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:43,345 LIKE, BEING HONEST TO ME. 424 00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:45,472 BUT I DON'T WANT TO JUST, LIKE, BE THE GIRLFRIEND FOREVER. 425 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:46,973 I WANT A COMMITMENT, YOU KNOW? 426 00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:49,642 I WANT TO HAVE KIDS, 427 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:53,021 AND I CAN'T HELP BUT ASK IF, LIKE, YOU KNOW, 428 00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,648 GOING TO BE ABLE TO WORK TOWARDS? 429 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:59,152 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. 430 00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:00,528 THAT'S THE ONE THING I CAN TELL YOU, 431 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,614 IS THAT I CAN'T COMMIT TO IT RIGHT NOW. 432 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,115 YOU KNOW? 433 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:07,327 I THINK THAT YOU TWO WOULD HAVE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, 434 00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:10,080 BUT IT SCARES ME TO THINK THAT A GIRL 435 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:12,749 THAT'S TEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME COULD COME IN 436 00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:13,958 PARTWAY THROUGH OUR RELATIONSHIP 437 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,586 AND EARN ALL THE CREDIT 438 00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:18,088 AND ALL THE RESPECT THAT I HAVE. 439 00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:19,172 IT SCARES ME. 440 00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,716 WHAT I AM SAYING THAT I'M COMMITTED TO 441 00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:24,010 IS I'M WILLING TO BE HONEST. 442 00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:27,222 LIKE, I AM RIGHT NOW AND I'M WILLING TO TRY 443 00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,891 AND TAKE THE LITTLE STEPS THAT WE'VE NEVER GOTTEN TO TAKE 444 00:22:29,933 --> 00:22:33,186 TO GET FARTHER THAN WHERE WE ARE NOW. 445 00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:35,897 I'VE FINALLY SPOKEN MY TRUTH 446 00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:39,359 ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO COMMIT TO MEGAN. 447 00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,736 I'M THE ONE WHO CREATED THIS SITUATION, 448 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:49,035 AND I EITHER HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT OR LEAVE THEM. 449 00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:52,038 WANT TO PUT DOWN, LIKE, SOME FOUNDATION. 450 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,375 I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE'S SO FUCKING SCARED ABOUT THE FUTURE 451 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:56,960 AND I CAN'T KEEP GOING ON LIKE THAT. 452 00:22:57,001 --> 00:23:01,631 - IS IT A QUESTION THAT REALLY HAS TO BE ANSWERED TODAY? 453 00:23:01,673 --> 00:23:03,675 - [sighs] 454 00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:07,429 AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT--I DON'T EVEN KNOW 455 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:09,431 WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY. 456 00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:12,392 WE'VE COVERED A LOT IN ONE DAY. 457 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:16,563 - I GUESS I'M GOING TO GO HOME, THEN. 458 00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:21,317 - OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 459 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,363 - WE'LL WALK YOU TO THE DOOR. - ALL RIGHT. 460 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:30,076 - BYE. 461 00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:03,943 - I BELIEVE THAT MY FUTURE IS WITH THESE TWO WOMEN. 462 00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:06,738 I'M REALLY NOT SURE WHETHER OR NOT 463 00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:10,116 I WOULD ATTEMPT POLYAMORY AGAIN. 464 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,459 - I WANT TO DROP IN 465 00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:22,879 AND LET'S GET CONNECTED TO THE INTENTION THIS EVENING, 466 00:24:22,921 --> 00:24:28,218 WHICH IS TO CELEBRATE OUR LOVE AT OUR LOVERS' RETREAT. 467 00:24:28,259 --> 00:24:29,594 I'M STARTING THE PLAY PARTY 468 00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,388 AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE ALL OUR LOVERS. 469 00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:38,144 BUT JEN AND JESSE AREN'T THERE, AND THAT'S A LITTLE SAD FOR ME. 470 00:24:38,186 --> 00:24:41,439 SO THE FIRST IS EVERYTHINS CONSENSUAL. 471 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:42,524 LIKE, YOU'RE... - MM. 472 00:24:42,565 --> 00:24:43,983 - ONLY DOING THAT WHICH 473 00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:45,652 YOU'RE A "HELL, YES" TO. 474 00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:47,111 YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE EARLY, 475 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:49,822 THEN YOU'D TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 476 00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:52,408 LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE SOME PEOPLE COMING EARLY. 477 00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:56,329 - OOH! - YAY. 478 00:24:56,371 --> 00:24:58,748 - SORRY WE'RE LATE. - NO. IT'S PERFECT TIMING. 479 00:24:58,790 --> 00:25:00,124 WE'RE JUST STARTING, SO... - WELL, I'M GLAD YOU CAME. 480 00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:01,125 - HI. - COME ON IN. 481 00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:02,126 - YAY! 482 00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:03,169 - JESSE FINALLY CAME AROUND, 483 00:25:03,211 --> 00:25:04,212 BECAUSE HE JUST REALIZED 484 00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:05,713 THAT IF HE WANTS TO DATE ME, 485 00:25:05,755 --> 00:25:07,757 HE CAN'T SEPARATE ME TOO MUCH FROM MY FAMILY. 486 00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:15,139 EVEN IF HE'S MISERABLE, HE CAN SEE WHAT I'M DOING. 487 00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:19,310 IT'S NOT A FREE-FOR-ALL. 488 00:25:19,352 --> 00:25:21,020 TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENTS. 489 00:25:21,062 --> 00:25:22,480 THE NEXT REALLY IMPORTANT THING 490 00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:24,774 IS ONCE WE GET INTO FLUID EXCHANGE, 491 00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:27,860 WHICH IS, YOU KNOW, ANYTHING INVOLVING THE GENITALS, 492 00:25:27,902 --> 00:25:30,989 WE WANT TO BE PRACTICING IMPECCABLE SAFE SEX. 493 00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:35,368 AND, THEN, ALSO... 494 00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:39,998 STOP TALKING! 495 00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:46,045 [giggling] 496 00:25:56,389 --> 00:25:59,392 [laughter] 497 00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:07,692 [moaning] 498 00:26:14,449 --> 00:26:17,452 [chatter] 499 00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:26,419 - IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO BE AT MY FIRST PLAY PARTY 500 00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:28,463 I THINK ONCE JESSE SAW 501 00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:36,054 THAT I WASN'T GOING TO BREAK ANY BOUNDARIES, 502 00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:42,143 IT WAS FUN FOR HIM. 503 00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:44,979 [laughs] 504 00:26:45,021 --> 00:26:46,689 [laughter] 505 00:26:46,731 --> 00:26:47,774 - WOW! 506 00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:49,776 WHOO-HOO-HOO! [laughs] 507 00:26:49,817 --> 00:26:51,235 - [moans] 508 00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:54,155 - TOLD YOU GUYS I WAS GOING TO GET SWEATY. 509 00:26:54,197 --> 00:26:56,491 - I NOTICED THAT RACHEL'S CONNECTING WITH MICHAEL 510 00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:57,492 AND OTHER PEOPLE. 511 00:26:57,533 --> 00:27:00,620 SHE'S INTIMIDATED BY ME. 512 00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:03,456 IF SHE DOESN'T LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME AS A WOMAN 513 00:27:03,498 --> 00:27:07,210 AND AS HER BOYFRIEND'S WIFE, IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK FOR US. 514 00:27:07,251 --> 00:27:08,878 [laughter] 515 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,924 [chattering and moaning] 516 00:27:18,012 --> 00:27:24,852 - I DO WANT TO START SPENDING MORE TIME WITH RACHEL. 517 00:27:24,894 --> 00:27:27,897 SOMEWHAT DIFFERENTLY NOW. 518 00:27:27,939 --> 00:27:30,942 [moaning] 519 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:38,741 - IF ALL OF MY RELATIONSHIPS WERE PERFECT, IT'D BE BORING. 520 00:27:38,783 --> 00:27:40,201 I THINK IT'S OUR VULNERABILITIES, 521 00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:44,580 OUR INSECURITIES, THAT HELPS US GROW. 522 00:27:44,622 --> 00:27:47,709 AND WE JUST KEEP SUPPORTING EACH OTHER. 523 00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:53,798 THAT'S WHAT ALWAYS US TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.